popcornchicken

Turns out the baby daddy ran for mayor last year as a Green Party candidate. He’s got some, uh, history. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/mayoral-candidate-akeem-browder-talks-sex-offender-felon-article-1.3279786

Either my eyes are playing tricks on me, or the first defendant on the 4:30 show had a haircut tribute to JJ. On his right side was the scales of justice and the back, I could make out “ONLY JUDY CAN JUDGE ME.” Sadly, it didn’t help his case.

So, on the 4:00 show today, the second case was about a car (that’s not a Dodge Neon, thank God) that we spent little time talking about. Instead, JJ spent most of her time castigating the defendant for coming to Sunset-Bronson Studios, um, I mean court late and making everyone stay an extra 40 minutes. Oh no, an hour of overtime pay! THE HORROR! Johnny gave her some story about his uncle having a medical emergency which she did not believe. It was so dire that he actually wanted to cancel his appearance and texted a producer to do just that. I would lean towards that being legit if he wants to give up his 15 minutes of syndicated fame. A producer for the show ended up giving him a ride to the lot. However she took shots at his job at a ramen restaurant and his going to school online. People can make a decent living on tips alone, especially if the restaurant/bar is in a ritzy part of town. I’m normally forgiving of JJ’s moods due to her suffering a parade of fools, but I think her fame is starting to get to her. If you don’t want to deal with that, go adjudicate a real court.

I learned a valuable tip from today’s repeat: if I ever start to forget my last name, I’ll be sure to tattoo it on my neck.

Any idea what Ms. Richardson’s tittytat says in the drunk driving case? Stinky? Stanky? Skanky? Her superhero cape was in the way. Turns out they were doing shots before driving. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, tree! Also, what’s it with litigants on this show and Dodge Neons? I think they have to be the most popular (and disputed over) car model on this show. A guy sued his ex for repairs to said Neon which stopped running. Clearly they’re not realiable vehicles. Wait, I meant vee-hickles.

So I’m lucky enough to work in an environment where we have TVs at our desks. My coworker looked over at “Barrister Judith’s” first episode and said the first defendant (Jacob) in the case with the older lady and the car looked “15 going on 60,” and that “he probably has a frequent spot in Vegas.” That said, it’s the first time I’ve seen people fight over a third rate carrier like Sprint. (Which I sadly have.) Better than a motorcycle. ??‍♂️

I think Goldielocks is just looking to catch her three bears.

I hope Byrd can find a sufficient crosswords app for that iPad!

Speaking of Curl MD, the homeowner posted on the show’s Facebook page. (It’s a comment in response to Missy’s post.) It turns out that Curl MD went around the whole house and tried every door to get in.

Definitely nice to see some gems from Seasons 17 and 18! I think we’re back to two new episodes tomorrow and Friday though.

We’re in the middle of a period called sweeps, where advertising rates are determined for all the television stations. This happens in November and February. The rates are set on how many eyeballs are watching, so I assume they’re running what should be the better cases now (and twice a day).

So they ran a rerun today on WCBS of what I think was the Amy Schumer episode. She’s sitting in the gallery on a case involving stolen Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards and a plaintiff named Miercoles (which translates to Wednesday in English). It was funny watching JJ trying to make sense of how it worked. In my college days, the tables at the campus commons were all taken up by students playing Yu-Gi-Oh!, it became a point of contention on a Facebook group. I grew out of it after middle school. The Judge clearly ran out of patience early on this one and called a recess because it was close to lunch. After lunch, Wednedday’s witness said that the defendant confessed to him, which wasn’t believed by JJ. Inconsistencies between Miercoles’ testimony and his police report sealed the deal. It’s time to d-d-d-d-dismiss!

Is it me, or are the litigants getting trashier as the show ages? I watch a lot of the older episodes on YouTube and the degenerates on the show in 2017 are on a totally different level. At least back then, there was at least the tiniest bit of shame from litigants about not working, frequent jail sentences, living off of Byrd’s money and popping out children. Now, litigants just admit it like there’s nothing wrong with it. On a positive note, the first defendant (Ms. Urrutia) was good enough to wear an outfit that hid most of her titty-tat of a horseshoe. Or is it discolored bananas? Monster horns? Who knows. The second plaintiff with that stunning hot pink sparkle overall dress hybrid clearly got lost on her way to the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. She wanted the plane to Shanghai, not Los Angeles. She’s gorgeous. And she knows it. She told us herself!

I tuned in late today, but I caught this sage advice from a fee-male litigant: ”Don’t trust nobody in jail.” ”Don’t date nobody in jail.”

Today’s episode: Crazy lady (defendant) with a megaphone shouting about her neighbor’s (plaintiff) tree. On his lawn. Even better, there’s video evidence of this. Her best line, “I LOVE STILTS!” Of course, this was was her means of last resort, as she explained to Judge Judy. She called the mayor, the penny saver, the city council and Batman. None of them cared about a twig falling over someone’s property line. JJ adnomished them both for spending time on nonsense with a shout out to Puerto Rico’s ongoing crisis.

I looked up our heartthrob Matthew Rowe. He’s got a GoFundMe. Anyone wanna help pay for Matt’s new Mercedes?

I thought Theresa Barksdale took the prize for unsightly above-the-neck tattoos. Nope. We have a new champion: Matthew Rowe. Complete with studs in his cheeks and a memorial to an Erica and Facebook (yes, there’s a Facebook logo there too) on his skull. My heart swoons and my loins are on fire over this clearly high quality specimen. And what a surprise, he’s a frequent flier at Club Fed! And wait for it, his ex is a well-put together, decent looking lady who loaned him money to buy a Mercedes-Benz, an iPhone and dental work. She fell for him over Facebook Messenger, took him out to dinner (for his birthday) and then they hooked up, a story JJ clearly wanted to hear all the scintillating details of. Their bond was so strong, he jumped through windows just to see her and sneak away from her parents! On a positive (or a scary note if you are super judgmental like me), not one place but two of them, gave him a job - a strip club and a food distributor. Both of which he got fired from. To her credit, he claimed that she wanted him to remove his tattoos and clean his life up in the halterview. He responded by head butting her which resulted in her taking out a restraining order on him. Oh, this is some America.

He apparently does roofing work now. Looks pretty responsible from his public Facebook page.

Of course. I remember Judge Judy saying that exact quote in a case to a woman who spent lots of money on a deadbeat. We all know enough that all variables of that exist.

Stupid women do stupid things for stupid men. It’s one of the universe’s most stable laws.

Oh, I never thought I’d see the gay porn star case again, but they’re apparently running it as part of their trip down memory lane. Angel Arroyo (Juan Steel is his nomme de plume) got sued by his ex-girlfriend. I assume JJ was aware of his curriculum vitae since she joked with him about making a silent film.

They’re running repeats from Season 17 this week. Not sure why they’re gone to reruns this early in the season. And that far back too.

4:00 show Mermaid Mural Madam and her pile of papers sues for her work done for a yogurt shop. Judge Judy was confused about the premise of mermaids and other mythical creatures consuming froyo. So am I. Two yogurts. Homeless Hairdo: The judge calls the neck and titty tatted defendant useless and hopeless. The defendant quips “you too.” Surprised JJ didn’t pick up on that. At the end she attempts to throw down her papers (and they come down ever so slightly) and she storms out. 4:30 show: High Flying Flim-Flam: Man sells plane. Man delays actually paying for said plane but takes possession of it anyway. Man who buys plane openly admits to hiring “illegals.” In front of 10 million people.

Ah, Jacob Satorius. I guess he’s some sort of famous internet person. I don’t follow any of this, just leave me be with my jazz records!

Best quote from the 4:00 claws versus paws case: "I was a government official for 15 years, I don't tell lies!" Sure. No one in the government has ever not told the truth. No way! The woman on the 4:30 case ticked off all the JJ no-nos. Unemployed? Check! Aimless Boyfriend? Check! Mistreatment of a pet? Check! Though she did say that she gets paid for "interviews," I can think of only one industry where someone gets paid for an "interview."