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neural-plasticity

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Posts posted by neural-plasticity

  1.  

    Didn't Jill and Derek's chaperone (James?) tell us that, if they broke the rules, he would call the police?  At the time, I assumed he was just a kid who knew that you call the police when someone does something bad, but maybe Jim Bob has used that as a warning and Josh as an example that he means it. 

     

    There was also a more recent episode, too, where Jordyn (or Jennifer?) mention that if they break their courting rules, they'll "break the law." I know they weren't around for that incident, since it was around 10 years ago, but maybe they've heard about it through the other children. I thought it was a weird thing for someone that young to say, but now it makes sense.

     

    I don't know the family as well as other posters so I haven't tried to do the math, but which sister (???eek) might have turned 14 in March of 2002?

     

    Jana would've been around 12/13 at the time, as the oldest. I definitely feel like she was involved, as everyone else is saying. I wonder if she just has different coping skills about what happened than the other girls. I mentioned in another topic how I felt like when Josh and Anna visited Ben and Jessa's new house there was this really awkward tension between the two, like they didn't even like each other. Now I understand why. Jessa was probably trying to cope with what happened by just getting out of the house, compared to how Jana's coping. Either way, all the victims would really benefit from counseling (including Josh), and the psychologist-in-training in me cringed when hearing that Michelle and JB didn't think it was that important for Josh to receive any therapy.

     

    I think Jana, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, and Amy, who was the same age as Josh and lived in Fayetteville. Poor Jana. Poor, poor Jana. Wasn't she also at Journey to the Heart when the Gothard sex scandal broke?

     

    I've read other articles in the past where fundie girls who are sexually abused/molested are usually blamed and sent away to places like that. That makes me really sad for them, not just those who were affected by this isolated incident.

     

    Also, as fundies, the girls are taught to respect and obey their menfolk at all costs, which explains how the girls "forgave" him and continue to associate with him to this day (if this is all true, of course).  I can picture MEchelle blaming the girls for the impure thoughts their visible elbows or shins stirred up in Josh, making it inevitable that he would have to find a way to fulfill them.  The real victims in this are the girls who may have been touched, Anna, and her children- in that order.  Their lives are about to be turned upside down in the worst possible way.  

     

    When the dust settles, if this is all true, I hope Jana tells her parents to stick their side hugs and jurisdictions up their asses sideways and gets the hell out of there.

     

    Ugh, could you imagine living and being on a TV show with him all the time?? I think back to this past week's episode where Michelle went on that huge rant about how it's the women's job to make sure they don't draw men's attention inappropriately. How BIG of a slap in the face for those poor girls. She was basically telling them on national TV that it was their fault their brother couldn't control themselves. And how confusing for them - they're dressing exactly like Michelle wants them to, but the were still victims of sexual abuse. This makes me really sad.

    • Love 20
  2. I didn't watch the first episode after about five minutes in. I thought it was refreshing that a lot of people they interviewed didn't agree with what the Duggars do in terms of courtship, which kind of felt like TLC's way of acknolwedging that what they do is weird. However, I really couldn't bother watching the Duggars be high and mighty about how their way of dating is the best way. Not to mention we have SEEN these courtships OVER AND OVER again. It's like beating a dead horse.

     

    As for JB talking about sex with Mechelle all the time.... I come from a very conservative family, where my parents expected me to wait to have sex until I was married. At the same time, my parents were not rubbing their sex life in my face throughout adolescence. I think about that interview Jill gave where she basically admits to being a horny, boy-crazed teenager and then I see how JB talks in front of all of his kids and I'm like, "No wonder your kids just want to marry to have sex whenever they want!" I think it's great that they claim to have a healthy sex life, but when you make it so wrong for any of your kids to have a sex drive just because they're not married, and you claim that to be sinful.... it's just not healthy.

     

    I've also felt that every time Jill talks about being a mom, it's just.... weird. Like, immature-weird. She can't say more than how "awesome" it is to be a mom and how she can't believe this is "her kid." Like, you have no other feelings about it, besides the fact that this is the first of 15 kids you've taken care of that's actually yours? I've never had a kid of my own so I don't even know how I'd react, but her reaction and comments just seem different than the people's reactions and comments I see in other places.

    • Love 4
  3. Yeah we are talking about it on Pickles but I find Tabitha Paine way too old at 29 for Joseph. Wondering if she is more of a nanny/homefoooling teacher?

     

    I've heard rumors that Tabitha may be dating John David. He's a little closer to age with her. Who knows.

  4. I'm really hoping that as the big girls leave the nest (please, please let Jana be next, although I'm not holding my breath) and Boob and MEchelle grow older, things are going to loosen up a bit for the younger kids. I'm also wondering, now that Gothard has stepped down, if things on the cult front will become a little more relaxed as well, and some of the more insane restrictions might be forgotten. That's my hope, anyway.

     

    Same here. It's sad, because Michelle at least had the opportunity to live a normal life. She chose this life, and good for her to do that. However, it shouldn't be forced onto their kids to live that same life without a choice. It's like the Amish - they let their teenagers live a little bit of freedom and give them the choice to stay Amish or not (sure, they get shunned if they don't choose the Amish life, but at least they have a choice and have experienced both sides of life). These kids get no other option than the life they're living. I'm sure some, if not most, would choose to continue to drink the Kool-aid, and that's fine too. But they don't get the option.

     

    Also, along the same lines. I keep seeing the commercials for this week's upcoming finale - the clip where JB and Michelle discuss kissing multiple times before marriage, then JB throws in the fact that Michelle used to mow the lawn in her bathing suit (cue a close up of Anna laughing when JB says that... how disgusting of my mother-in-law!!!). First, just because you guys kissed and feel guilty about it, doesn't mean your guilt should affect what your kids do or don't do in a coursthip. However, the biggest thing that gets me during this clip, is that JB just throws his wife under the bus like he does. If I was Michelle and I had the super conservative ideas that she has, and a super conservative husband like she has, that would just mortify me... he brings this up whenever he gets the opportunity to. If Michelle wants to talk about it, then let her. But it's none of your business to make fun of what your wife used to do on national television. In a "normal" relationship, that would be like the husband throwing out the fact that his wife had sex with someone else before they were married - and that's no one else's business to disclose but the wife! And with Anna laughing (as well as everyone else), ugh. It just really irks me for some reason.

    • Love 12
  5. Yes, as others noted they absolutely are covered even if married, but their children (grandchildren of the policy holder) are not. Babies pop out and right away they become little healthcare consumers, so that's an issue if Jessa is on her parents' policy.

    I assume Jill has coverage through Derick through his employer. Why wouldn't she?

     

    I wish I would've known this! When getting married last year, I read that as once you're married and have access to another insurance (i.e., your spouse's) you can't be on your parents' insurance anymore. My husband is a teacher and the only option is individual plan (around $20 a month) or family ($300 a month), so we were hoping I could stay on my parents' for awhile longer. Long story short, we're paying the same amount for our insurance as we would if we had 19 kids! :) Boo. However,  Bin probably doesn't have his own insurance since he's basically unemployed, so that would make since that Jessa would still be under the Duggars'.

     

    As for Ben's graduation - I also wish him the best of luck with his new degree. I hope that he goes on to get at least a BA at an accredited school, too. If not, I hope he puts his new degree to good use and doesn't do whatever just to make his in-laws happy. 

  6. Random comment: I was rewatching an old episode on TLC last week, where the Duggars help the Smuggars move to DC. It showed how all the Duggar kids were driving certain cars. You see Jessa driving a car with Jinger, talking about how much fun it was to ride by themseleves, and then you see poor Jana driving a UHaul with one of the Howlers, whoever it was. There's this really awkward conversation where he asks what a certain noise is, and Jana says something along the lines of, "It's just the road." The Howler just responds with, "Oh," and they go back to awkward silence. Don't you think if Jana and Jill were really as close as Jill makes them out to be, they would've been spending some quality time together, like Jessa and Jinger were? It seems that poor Jana is only there when anyone else needs her to be (e.g., standing by Jill's side during her baby shower, etc.). I know this is already a very obvious statement that everyone's talked about, but I just felt like this was the first time I noticed how blatantly OBVIOUS it was on television. I would love to see her score somebody who really loves her, cherishes her, and wants to give her what she deserves. I have this fear that she'll marry someone like TFDW who is controlling and really only sees the woman as being useful for cooking, cleaning, and producing babies. I would love to see her marry someone like Chad Paine (or how he comes across on television and social media, at least). It would be nice if someone could show her how special she really is. *end rant*

    • Love 3
  7. I'm sure Bin is a decent kid, but I do think Jessa's main motivation in courting him was freedom. Their long courtship worked in their favor because I think eventually Bin grew on her and she came to love him. However I agree Jessa was desperate and he just happened to be the guy hanging around who presented her with a way out.

    Their relationship reminds me of my first "boyfriend" in high school. I cared about him, and I thought I loved him, but really I just liked the idea of being in a relationship and being in love. Thank God I didn't end up with that kid or I'd be miserable now! I think it shows why you should be exposed to multiple guys before settling down with the right one. You start to realize there are things you do/don't want in a partner. When you're stuck with the first guy you've ever met, you have no idea until you're unhappy in the relationship.

    • Love 6
  8. Could Smuggar be any more bitter about Grandma's house being remodeled. He definitely threw some shade at Jessa and Ben. Subtle, but you can definitely feel the bitterness there.

    .

    I thought that whole interaction was awkward. Actually, every time I see Jessa/Bin interact with Josh/Anna, the conversation feels forced and awkward, like they don't even like each other.

    • Love 5
  9. I definitely think people can last when they meet their partner at a young age, but I think the key factor is they don't rush into marriage. I know a lot of people who met in high school but dated for 5-10 years before getting married. You mature together. I know others who met in high school but after growing up a bit realized they weren't right for each other. I hope that Marjorie, who seems like an independent thinker, would be able to realize this and hold off on any marriage soon.

    Also, I find it funny that JB and Michelle always claim that they let the kids "set the rules for the courtship," but it always seems to be what they want, not what the kids want. That being said, i would also like to see their courtship have some different rules than the first three. Let them really set the boundaries they want (e.g., holding hands while courting, not waiting until they get engaged, etc.).

    Last but not least, I HOPE JB and Michelle don't try to convince Marjorie to pray away the pants!!

    • Love 6
  10. The hackers work is still on the pages but they are fan pages not real pages that belong to the girls. The "fans" don't realize it though and keep saying "oh Jill would never post stuff like this." *giggle*

     

    Bummer, I was hoping that was their actual Facebook page. You know how some people get hacked by clicking on those shady links? I had this vision that someone sent them a shady link about Sexy Women in Yoga Pants, and they curiously clicked on the link to see. But alas, that fantasy was short-lived!

  11. Also, note to Jim Bob:  If I am Anna, or Grandma, or whoever is stuck doing the laundry, I would most definitely NOT be mad at sweet, little Michael.  However, I would drag the idiot who let him play in paint without putting him in a paint shirt into the laundry room and tell him to get to work!

     

    But seriously, he told Michael not to get paint on him, Michael accidently touches his pants without realizing he's getting pant on them, and all JB does is give him an awkward-this-is-the-first-actual-conversation-I've-had-with-this-grandchild talk saying, "Hey, you're getting paint there on your pants. Try not to." Then walks away and expects him to listen at that age? I mean, really? Pay attention to the poor boy!!

     

    I don't understand what exactly Sierra did that the Duggars couldn't have done on their own. There was decorations, balloons and a few bowls of snacks/candies. That's pretty standard party fare. It hardly required an "event planner."

     

    I also thought it was odd that they did the gender reveal literally as soon as they walked in from the airport. Let them at least take their coats off, play a game, eat some food, etc., like a normal party! But I do admit, I don't get into gender reveal parties (I'm 24, most people my age do), especially when it's your fourth child.

     

    PS - I know a few people mentioned that it was nice not having Jill or Jessa in the episode. I saw Jessa there, obviously, but no Jill. I'm wondering if they edited her out because she hadn't had the baby yet. First, it was snowing in Arkansas. Jill had the baby in April. I'm from the North and we haven't had any snow since Jill's baby, so I can't imagine Arkansas has, either! Also, Jessa made that comment when walking around the house how their guest room wasn't a baby room yet. However, they were all 3 pregnant at the same time together, and they all knew it, thanks to that picture they posted. I realize they were trying to show Jill's birth last week because of Mother's Day, but wouldn't finding out Anna's baby's gender also constitute as a nice mother's day episode as well (being facetious here)???? :) Anyways, a pretty minute detail and just something I noticed while watching the episode. I can't imagine that even if Jill had had the baby, she wouldn't try to make a bit of an appearance.

    • Love 2
  12. To my secret (ok, not so secret) shame, I have to confess that I actually love Erin's boppy curls! Yes, they are slightly odd and anachronistic and overly styled, but they suit her (and look kinda cute if you disregard the fact that we live in the 21st century). She's actually found a style that is genuinely her, not Gothard, not fundie-bland, not contemporary fashion victim, but something original to her own tastes and preferences and I kinda love that. Especially after seeing the Duggars' one-look-fits-all attitude to stringy hair and ratty clothes. Erin may look like a slightly demented Nellie Oleson, but she does it with confidence and flair. :)

     

    I have to admit, I really like Erin. But whenever she's on TV and my husband is in the room, he can't believe how dolled up she is constantly (he usually rolls his eyes and says she needs to calm down, haha) - especially compared to her sisters who seem to not care nearly as much about their appearance. However, I love that she has her own personality and is happy with her look.

     

    I don't recall seeing this link here before (I found it on someone's blog - can't remember who).  I rolled my eyes so hard that I thought they were going to fall out.  If it's been posted before, then move along, nothing to see here.

     

    http://davidlovespriscilla.com/2012/12/04/the-pecan-story/

     

    This is absolutely hilarious. I always wonder what these people's ideas are of "born again Christian." Like, how bad were you, really, before you decided to become a Christian???? It's kind of like when Jinger went on a rant about how she used to "live a life of sin." What sin were you ever allowed to make (compared to someone not raised this strictly, who isn't homeschooled, can get on the internet and watch TV, has friends outside their own strict religion, etc.)???

    • Love 3
  13. Yes, their modesty has changed. What is modest about Anna's outfit in this photo taken last night?

    https://twitter.com/joshduggar/status/595043373028810753?s=04

    Also, notice that Michelle's hemline has gone a little higher. I guess the black tights fill the modesty quota.

     

    I feel like, especially with the younger girls, they will wear skirts/dresses that don't go past the knees, but will justify by wearing leggings, pants, or tights. Why not just wear leggings, pants, or tights then? It really doesn't make much sense why they are so strongly concerned with not showing their thighs, when you can literally see everything else (i.e., their chest...). That being said, I really am not as put off by their style as most people are. I like their maxi dresses and, surprisingly, don't mind them wearing their boots with jean skirts (although I would never try something like that ha!). I just think there are some flaws in their argument for why they dress how they do.

    • Love 4
  14. You know, (just like the majority of you guys), when Jessa and Ben first got married, I really had some sort of hope that they would hold off on having a child ASAP. Her personality seemed different than Jill's and honestly, whenever she talked about "starting a family" after getting married (before her actual marriage, though), it always felt really forced, like she was just saying it to make her parents happy for the time being. I felt really bad for her when I first found out she was pregnant. I just recently got married this past July (I'm 24, he's 28 and we had been dating for 5 years) and I still feel like we are nowhere near that point in our relationship where we should be having children. We're young and enjoying the married life. At the same time, he has an actual career and I'm a full-time graduate student getting my PhD. If you really think about it, what else does Jessa have to do during the day? If these women (girls) don't have kids as soon as they get married, what else can they do besides sit at home and twiddle their thumbs until their husbands come home?

    • Love 7
  15. I feel really bad for Josie, especially after watching the last few episodes. I didn't realize that she was already 5! She does not act like most 5 year olds I know, maturity-wise, and wth the way her mother talks to her (like a 2 year old), I can see why. But also, and maybe this is because my training in neuropsychology, I was APPALLED that they talked about her seizures so nonchalantly. Like, "Oh, she has seizures whenever her temperature spikes, but it's NBD." Like, yes. That is a big deal. And how they made Josie say at the end, "I'm all better now," like their life is perfect. No, your daughter has epilepsy and she's probably not getting the medical attention she should be getting. idk, it just really bothered me for some reason. Hopefully she catches up and can live a fairly normal life!

    • Love 6
  16. Not sure if anyone else has mentioned this yet, but has anyone else noticed that the Duggar kids aren't allowed to have their own personal social media account until they start courting someone? Josiah made his Instagram literally right when the news came out, yet his older siblings (Jana, John David, Jinger, etc) settle for posting pictures on the Duggar account only. It's like some weird reward for having the potential to procreate in the next year or two. I feel bad for the older kids who haven't started courting yet. I bet there's a lot of pressure on them.

    • Love 1
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