neural-plasticity
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Posts posted by neural-plasticity
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To go back to the question of whether Josh really loved Anna or not. I rewatched the older episodes around this time last year, and I remember seeing their proposal and thinking how... odd... the dynamics were between the two that it's difficult for me to really describe with words. When he popped out to ask her, he was so smug and she was like a deer in the headlights. I'm sure Josh cared about her, but I also think he realized then that he would always have the one-up in their relationship, regardless of whether that was because they were fundies or not. It's like he automatically saw himself as the settler, and he knew that she knew she was the reacher in the relationship. I think in any normal healthy relationship, both will say they're the reachers and the other person is the settler, because they really feel that love for the person. They don't feel like they could do better (or would want to do any better). I think Josh knew that if he was able to date outside of their cult, he would be able to do better because that's just who Smugs is. That's not to say that he didn't love her or grow to love her. I just think he was so smug about who he was that he lacked that respect for her.
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My husband's grandfather (with whom I had gotten pretty close with over the years) recently passed away. He was 89 and played golf up until the last few months. Last October his doctor took him off treatment for cancer because none of it was working, and he was assigned hospice care. He was very into lineage and family, so last Christmas he asked my husband to make a slideshow for his funeral that he could watch and approve. He was a pastor (one of the most open-minded and wise pastors I'd ever met, so I wish I could've talked to him more about some interesting views he had) and had also written his whole funeral service out before he passed away. Although it was nice the day of because you could feel his presence, it just wasn't the same. He didn't look the same. He had stopped eating and basically lost his senses the last month or so. I experienced the same thing with my grandparents when I was younger and it was really traumatizing, so I didn't handle it very well this time. Death is one of my biggest fears for some reason. I've told my parents over and over again that I hope I die before they do because I can't imagine living in a world where they're dying/dead.
I also decided that my funeral is going to be much different. I'm going to have anyone who wants to get together get together. Sing one song if they feel so obliged then shoot my ashes up into the sky in a firework. Then I request they eat all my favorite foods: sloppy joe, mac n cheese, pasta, etc.
My week has been pretty crazy - my friend found a kitten last Wednesday running around downtown that she rescued. We gave it to a girl in our cohort that wanted a kitten and she kind of freaked out and backed out after having it for less than a week so now he's at my house until someone can take him home. He's so sweet, playful, cuddly, all those great things people should look for in cats. It's devastating that he can't find a home. I'd keep him in a heartbeat but I already have a cat who's a little over a year old and she rules the house. She's not too excited about the baby. My husband would probably divorce me, too. He originally said no to our first cat until he kind of was forced to say okay, and he loves her now, but he's not ready for that to happen again.
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I understand the desire to have a natural birth, but don't these girls understand they can have a natural birth in the hospital? They don't make you get an epidural... their logic just doesn't make any sense to me.
And of course Jessa doesn't need to google herself - everything that's going around google is mentioned in her comments that she so abruptly deletes because she has nothing better to do throughout the day than monitor what people say about her.
I'm feeling how most of you guys are about this whole situation. Bored. She dragged this birth out for so long. Yawn.
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I think they decided to not use Gabe but not because People wouldn't pay them, just because Jeasa is stubborn like that. I can't imagine many people besides us know that Jesaa's SIL posted then quickly deleted the name. People would still make money off of that reveal.
I don't doubt that they changed their mind and have to come up with a new name, but it's odd to think that everyone is passing this baby around, posting pics of him just hanging around the house with everyone, and he doesn't even have a name yet.
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I hope it's TLC related.
How long did Jill wait to post?
I remember we saw the lovely pictures of jill and Derick barefoot in the hospital. Plus all the fun ones with the Jill headband...who can forget that???
Maybe it took a while for her to post.
These Duggar pregnancies take so long...I feel like Israel should be 3 years old already.
I'm pretty sure Jill had a little clip running on TLC THE DAY AFTER she had Izzy. If not the day after, it was definitely within that week. I just remember thinking to myself, wow that was really soon after having that baby. Jessa has been much more quiet. I know Jessa is a little more private than Jill (e.g., first kiss wasn't filmed, etc.), so that may be why. Or it could be because she still hasn't recovered. I thought she looked surprisingly good in the picture with the baby and Ben but I also haven't seen her look that exhausted ever. So I'm sure she's probably hurting (I mean, who wouldn't?) & if she had serious enough complications that she may never be able to deliver a child again, I can't imagine the psychological toll that's probably having on her right now.
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I'd like to imagine that their doing some "cultural diversity" stuff for homefooling class. Honestly, when I was that age I remember getting in a wheelchair that my grandma had and thinking about what it would be like to have a disability. If it isn't a homeschool/diversity awareness thing though, I think the "looking like an amputee" thing is a little unnecessary, but she's young enough that I'll give her the benefit of the doubt unless I hear otherwise.
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I feel for everyone who has lost their parents. I also feel for everyone who missed out on the mother/daughter relationship that every daughter deserves. Although I was blessed with to have the parents I have (I don't think they can be any more selfless than they already are), I do feel similar in terms of my relationship with my sister. She has a lot of mental health issues, which has been apparent since she was a young teenager, and it significantly impacted my childhood. We went through a phase when I was in college where I refused to talk to her but it hurt my mom so bad that I finally let my sister reach out to me again. Although I don't refuse to talk to her anymore, we have absolutely no relationship. I don't tell her anything about my life, which is fine with her because she really only cares about what's going on in hers. We've entered an interesting part of life/our relationship, because she's been trying to get pregnant for the last three years and in the next couple of years that may be something my husband and I are interested in doing as well.
Over the last three years, she has had multiple very early-term miscarriages. Her and her husband have finally found a birth mom who wants to do adoption, so it looks like they'll finally have their baby they've wanted at the end of May. I've been trying to be really supportive of her with this situation. She has me down as a reference for the home-evaluation, so it'll be interesting to see if someone actually calls me. Of course I wouldn't say things to make it so she wouldn't be able to get the baby, but as a PhD candidate in a clinical psychology program, it'll be awkward to figure out how to navigate what I know about her mental health. That probably doesn't make any sense, because it doesn't make much sense in my head yet, either!
Regardless, my sister has caused me a lot of pain in my life, but I couldn't imagine how it would feel to have a mother who caused that pain instead of a sister. So I am sending you all big FF hugs.
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I do think it's ironic that Jessa and Jill grew up in a home where mom had no issues (used loosely because Josie) having 19 kids and believing that birth control or any preventative measures was sinning. I remember on the show when they began courting, getting engaged, how they both said in their robotic way that of course I'm going to have as many kids as God provides, etc. etc. They both went into their pregnancies thinking everything would work out, and they both had two traumatic pregnancies that would make anyone consider waiting awhile until having another child. It's just interesting. I think they grew up in a house where they weren't even allowed to critically think to themselves, why do most people in the world try to control the amount of children they have (and if they did think that, I'm sure they were not allowed to voice their curiosities with their parents)? I think they both understand a few of the reasons why people might only have one, two, or three children instead of having "whatever God provides." It'll be interesting now to see how long both of them wait.
As for Jessa holding off on the kid's name. I understand why someone would do that. From her standpoint, she had a traumatic delivery, is probably not feeling the best, and maybe just wants to have some alone time (with family?) to celebrate and get used to the huge life change that just happened. On the other hand, if she's waiting to announce the name until People comes out with it, I can't really justify that. I don't think any "celebrity," whether they are an A-list or D-list should make money off of their child or its name. It's gross. If she announces it on her website today, I'd be fine with that. If it comes out in People, I'm not fine with that.
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I went home to visit my parents this weekend, and with that entails going to church. I had this "epiphany" today during the sermon when I realized what the main scripture was:
Matthew 6:31-33:
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
It hit me. This is literally the passage that the Duggars must live by. We sit around and think, how in the world could someone have nineteen kids and not think about the financial consequences? We would think that Jill and Jessa (and Anna/Josh) would think twice about this before having as many kids as their parents. Then TLC comes and what do you know, God gave them everything they needed. Now all the kids think the same thing. Sit around all day, do nothing, have no jobs, and expect God to give you what you need (i.e., the leg-bumpers, TLC, People, etc.). It's pathetic. Just think if everyone (outside of Fundies and the like) had the same mentality. It's a dangerous scripture to truly live by.
I know this is no epiphany to anybody, but it just surprised me that the pastor at my parent's church decided to use this scripture. Immediately after reading it I had such a strong aversion to it because of the Duggars. To think that those who do worry about their future and try to proactively plan for the future are considered "nonbelievers" just baffles me.
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My MIL had three boys, so I guess I got lucky because she loves buying clothes for my SIL and me. She actually has pretty good taste, too! In general, though, my husband's family goes all out with Christmas presents. Last year they bought my BIL and SIL brand new leather sofa, love seat, and rocking lounging chair and my husband got his beloved Xbox one (like the boy that he is :) ).
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I honestly don't think Michelle is encouraging any of her girls to do home births. I think, like someone stated above, the obsession with having a natural, home birth probably stems from seeing Anna have success at it, plus all the midwifery stuff Jill has gotten into it. For some reason it's the "cool thing" to do with them.
On the other hand, I also don't necessarily think Jill and Jessa's home birth debotchery will deter the other girls from eventually having home births. From a probability persepective, you would think at least one of them would have easy births like Michelle! And with that aside, they all get married and pregnant when they're still in the "nothing bad will happen to me" phase. So even though they see their sisters have awful pregnancies, of course they won't!
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- Popular Post
- Popular Post
What if you had a baby and the world didn't notice..................
if you don't show your newborn baby on social media, does it even exist?????? :)
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burlsa, you can come sit by me. I just teared up during part of Pitch Perfect 2. Pitch Perfect 2, y'all. I cry at the drop of a hat and I hate it.
I did, too! The part where they were sitting around the fire singing made me tear up, and when everyone came out during World's to sing... Singing hits me deeper than usual!
I'm 100% traumatized by Dumbo. I'm sure I watched it when I was younger but didn't understand. It wasn't until my late teens I saw it was on TV and went to watch it. It was the part where he's swinging in his mom's trunk towards the end...... nope. never again. traumatized.
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This is the first year I haven't really minded the Indiana fall chilliness. Probably because where I park on campus and where my building is is a mile walk (while hauling a backpack). If it's anything over 55, I'm drenched in sweat by the end, which is saying something because I'm almost ALWAYS cold (except at night when I get night sweats but that's a whole other issue!).
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Not sure if this is necessarily the right forum to post on (so mods feel free to move), but I had an interesting thought and was wanting to hear your guys' opinions. Yesterday, I was reading about that Australian model (Essina? something like that) who, out of nowhere, kind of turned on social media and is now starting to act out against how the "social media system" works. I was actually surprised to hear NPR even talk about it yesterday!
So anyways, she mentions how she was paid to promote a lot of brands on instagram. I know people promote nutritional supplements and whatnot all the time, but I was surprised to hear how she was paid to just nonchalantly wear certain clothes in her pictures (and it seemed like she didn't even have to do a shoutout to the brand... just literally wear the clothes or hold a certain object). I know the Duggars (Jill and Jessa) seem to promote a lot of things on instagram, especially food, but do you think they're actually getting paid for them? Do you think they're getting paid to wear the clothes that they're wearing too? It would possibly make sense why they all the sudden started dressing more "modern." I'm not saying that's the whole reason why they started changing their style, but I was just curious on your guys' thoughts on the topic. They're both so crazy for money it wouldn't surprise me, but honestly, I was really surprised at how nuanced the advertising can really be on social media that they were some of the first people to come to my mind after listening to the Australian model talk about it.
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Is Trunk or Treat a thing elsewhere? Here it's huge. Tons of churches and high schools have them, open to the public. The mall and grocery stores all have trick or treating, as do some of the nursing homes. Most of our local park districts offer activities and candy as well. There are many, many options for safe Halloween activities.
This was the first year I saw anything about trunk or treating (also the first year I've had Facebook during October since 2010 probably), and I was like, what the heck is this? It's a great way to get the community involved, though.
Also, I'm a little embarrassed about the age that I stopped trick or treating. I was at my husband's friend's house this Halloween, and they kept commenting about these old trick or treaters, and now reading all of your comments, I realized I trick or treated wayyyyy too late. In my defense, I have always looked much younger than I actually am. Also, when everyone was at that stage where they were "too cool" to play games and wanted to grow up and be 18, my best friend and I were the exact opposite. I did it because it was fun and I loved dressing up and spending time with her. If I would've known people didn't like it, I wouldn't have done it, but I was totally clueless, I guess.... oops! :)
Side note: the main complaint with the older trick or treaters were basically that a.) they didn't really dress up and b.) they were rude (no "trick or treat," "happy halloween," or "thank you."). I was neither of those two things, not like that makes it any better!
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They probably know, just like they know they aren't having twins. They love to drum up interest.
Very true. I was surprised that she didn't add something in there in that post about having twins. I'm glad she finally gave that up!!
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I may be reading into her last post too much, but wouldn't that possibly be indicative of her not going to an actual doctor for her pregnancy? I haven't had a kid of my own by any means, but many of my friends are at that stage in their life and it always seems like they post how much their baby is weighing in at, according to their doctors, when it gets close to the due date. Her text almost makes it sound like she has no idea how much her child weighs. She doesn't look HUGE by any means, at least enough to have a 10 lb baby, but once again... what do I know about this stuff! ;)
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I hate to sound like such a Debbie Downer, but I just can't with this. One year of marriage? Wow. I've been with my bf for almost 11 years. Jessa and Bin act like they're experts on relationships when really they're in an arranged marriage for Jesus. Jessa, call me in 5-7 years and let me know if marriage to Bin is still wonderful.
I always thought it was interesting, because when Jill and Derick got married and interviewed for the show afterwards, she was completely giddy, excited, etc. I distinctly remember when Jessa and Bin got married and their first interview (basically) after living together, Jessa mentioned how Bin did little things that annoyed her (there was something with the toothpaste or toothbrush or something). I remember sitting there and being like, if you're already complaining about little things bothering you (on national television, no less) and you've only been married for like, two weeks, you're in for a long long marriage.
My sister is very similar to Jessa (and Jill) in that she constantly has to post about her relationship with her husband (which is actually not a good relationship at all). I think she feels like she constantly has to post stuff about how "great" their relationship is just to convince herself that it's going well. I could totally see Jessa doing that, and if she's not already, she definitely will be in a few years when she's absolutely miserable and tired of chasing around her kids.
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I have started to "run" (more like trot) 4 miles in a running group with three other ladies at 4:00 am. I have only gone once since Houston is flooding at the moment, but we are supposed to meet 3x a week. There is something surreal about running that early in the morning, running down streets in the darkness and everything is so, so quiet. I like the cooler temperatures and that I almost have 10,000 steps before I would usually be even out of bed in the morning, and I get back in time to get my daughter ready for school. What I don't like is the fear that I have that the boogie man is going to get me. We run by a creek with woods on one side and the whole time I am looking to make sure no one is going to jump out and grab me. I am always the slowest in the herd. I may as well be a sheep dragging a limp leg behind me! I watch a lot of ID which already feeds into my paranoid personality. I am thinking I might buy my first pepper spray.
Anyway, I am use the C25K app by Zen Labs which I highly recommend and is free. It really helps pace yourself so you can build stamina to get through an entire 5k without stopping. Bonus for me is I am running with my cousin-in-law and she has a ton of Starbucks gift cards she gets as teacher thank you gifts and she does not drink coffee...so she treats me!
I have this same fear when I run by myself, which I basically do every time I run now. I am absolutely terrified to run at my home town by myself because of some scary instances that have happened, and I've had to get over it in the new city I'm in. There are some woods right by campus that I found a couple weeks ago that I absolutely love running in, but I am so aware that there's a possibility I could go in there and never come back! I've started running with my phone just in case, which I've never done before. I would rather run without any technology at all, but I'm definitely in the minority with that preference.
I don't have a lot of friends who do the BB/Shakeology stuff (or at least that pop up on my feed), but I did go through this phase where I followed all of those workout people on Instagram and they sold that stuff non-stop. I finally stopped following them because a.) they weren't telling me anything I didn't already know and b.) I don't believe in using that kind of stuff. My friend who got married this summer basically starved herself as soon as she got engaged (last November). She's absolutely beautiful and doesn't need to diet, but her weakness is greasy bar food and alcohol in general (as in she drinks every day). When she stopped eating and drinking the bad stuff and working out she lost a lot of weight, but she was also starving herself by just eating 8 oz of turkey for dinner and apples and water throughout the day. Regardless, two months later and she constantly complains about how she wishes she could still be at her wedding weight. I was like, "I told you you'd gain all that weight back once you started eating and drinking like you normally do!" I don't understand how people think briefly starving themselves with no nutrients will help them lose the weight they want and KEEP it off.
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I went about 3-4 years or so without a Facebook and it was so great. I initially missed it (moreso because the Facebook games... judge me, it's okay!), but after awhile I absolutely loved not having Facebook. I only reactivated it recently because I was in a wedding this past summer that basically required the bridesmaids to be on Facebook to stay updated (I'm so glad that wedding is over with!). I've kept it up since her wedding, but one of the thing that bothers me the most about Facebook now is people trying to sell stuff - from itworks, younique, jamberry (?), thirty one, etc. My "friends" will add me to their private Facebook page where they just constantly pimp themselves and their products out to everyone. My sister-in-law has made a career out of it since having her daughter two years ago. She has the perfect personality for it so has been pretty successful. She started out with thirty-one, then Allasta, and she just recently joined some shampoo company. The thing is, she just added me to her shampoo group so now I get 10 notifications a day about her hair and buying the shampoo. I don't know, maybe it's my personality, but I kind of feel like it's just rude to be so abrasive about selling things! You don't see me creating Facebook groups to recruit my friends for all my research projects/ideas! I think I'm probably just really cynical, though.
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Skittl1321 - I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now. Your family is in my thoughts at this time - I'm hoping for the best possible outcome!
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Maybe I haven't watched enough of the Bates show, but I don't get the same vibe a lot of people seem to be getting from him. Also, from what I know about him I actually kind of like him (ha). If he and Jinger were a thing, maybe he could get her away and save her before she becomes as crazy as Jessa and Jill. I know it seems like we say that for every person who starts courting, but one can hope!
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So cute!!! I like playing this video because Sassy thinks there is another cat in the house and starts meowing and looks for another cat. So funny!
My cat for sure thought there was a kitty hiding under her blanket she sleeps on on our bed. As I type she's sitting on the bed, confused, and slowly searching for those kitties still.
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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House
in Counting On
Ben knew he could've just taken the easy way out to honor him and just name him Charles, but I'll be you anything he likened that to "Christians taking the easy way out." And he's not like that. He's a Super Christian. So much so, that he has to prove it with the name Spurgeon. Poor kid is just a trophy and object to them. I'm impressed that any of the leg humpers have been able to act like they like the name when even their own family can't act like it!