neural-plasticity

I didn't watch Jojo's season after the first two or three episodes because I felt like almost all the guys were fake or... blah. So it's not surprising none of them were chosen. Still, I'm surprised that Nick is the next bachelor and honestly, I'm not sure if it's good or bad. I didn't watch Andi's season, but I did watch him on Kaitlyn's and he was really made out to be the victim. I've really liked him on BiP, though, so I'm tempted to watch.

Honestly, I think the show has been prepping viewers for the last couple of seasons as Maddie at times was rarely ever around because of all the job opportunities. I actually thought it was quite refreshing because we got to see other girls at the top of the pyramid and get a little more recognition than they otherwise would have if Maddie had danced. It will definitely be different not having Melissa or Mackenzie around, though. I'm hoping the show is over, honestly. I barely watched this past season at all. With how spiteful the moms are and with Abby being constantly on the brink of a serious mental breakdown that might end up in homicide, it's painful to watch.

I'm not sure if blindsided is the right word, but I do understand where JoJo was coming from when she felt that way. I understand she knew that Ben loved Lauren too, but I think when you have feelings for someone like that (and they tell you they couldn't imagine their life without you), you would probably convince yourself that he just has to like you a little bit better, though. I think that's probably just a natural way to cope with the situation you're in. I liked Ben this whole season. I wasn't able to do much reading on this website up until now (busy schedule), and I see that some of you guys are not fans of him at all haha. Honestly, though, the one major thing I saw Ben do that really put me off was after dumping JoJo and crying about it, he then turns around like it's nothing, calls Lauren's dad, and starts jumping up and down like a little girl when he got the approval from him. If I had just had that much emotional turmoil from dumping someone I was "in love with" and "couldn't imagine my life without," the last thing I'd be in the mood for is proposing to someone else. I read the spoilers before the show started, so I knew that Lauren was going to win the whole time, but regardless I think it was pretty obvious that she was going to win. Like everyone else has said, he often went out of his way for her. He said things like, "I feel like I'm not good enough for you," which he didn't say to any of the other girls. I really wanted to like Lauren, too, but from their very first one-on-one, I just... couldn't. She knew that he liked her. She knew she had it in the bag from very close to the beginning. It was like she knew that she could find someone better than him but she was soaking up her time on television. I completely understood where Ben's mom was coming from. You could tell she was worried about Lauren and Ben's relationship (moreso than she was JoJo and Ben's). Lauren seems immature enough that when things do start getting hard in their relationship, she'll think she's better than having to deal with that (in my opinion). I didn't watch the Jimmy Kimmel interview, but honestly, it doesn't surprise me at all. I'm not sure in what context she said those things, but in my opinion, even if you're being provoked to kind of harp on your significant other, you don't harp on those things, especially to the nation. He prays too loud? Wtf is that?? If I felt my husband prayed too loud (when we were first dating) I wouldn't announce that to everyone I know. That's just my opinion though, and it makes me like her even less. I'd be curious to see how long they last. I'd be surprised if they stayed together for more than a year or two.

I did think it was interesting - I briefly watched a Bates episode where Michael was preparing for the wedding, and she mentioned her wedding party, yet didn't mention Jana was in the wedding. It was like this elephant in the room. I'd be interested to hear if Jana was even shown in the episode. Producers are obviously pretty good at making sure she's not.

Not sure exactly where the Dillards are in SA, but I thought about them on my way home as I was listening to NPR today. Brazil and some other countries in the continent are having some serious issues with the Zika virus and are urging pregnant women not to travel to those places, as the virus can cause some birth defects, particularly microcephaly. Hopefully Jill's not pregnant/trying to get pregnant and if she is, she's being really careful down there!

We also can't forget the last season of BIP when there was the clip of someone (probably Ashley I?) who was crying because she thought she was pregnant. I pretty much continued to watch for that reason only! Ep 3 is a pretty safe bet I think.

I had no idea Olivia was only 23! She looks SO MUCH older than that (I noticed a lot of the girls looked much older than their age). I agree with some who have posted negatively about the age range this season. There's no reason a 23 year old should expect to be engaged to someone after 2 months of barely spending time with them (especially ALONE).

I actually grew up close to that area. My hometown is an hour away and my high school was in the same conference as his. I also have family that live there and my college I went to was about half an hour away from Warsaw. There are a lot of really pretty lakes in that area. The great thing is you can get those types of houses for relatively cheap compared to other places. It wouldn't surprise me at all if that was their house in Warsaw. Also, they edited Warsaw to look much more country than it really is. Although there IS farmland there, there's also a decent size town with some things to do. I would say the majority of the people who come from that town are NOT farmers, including him.

I also noticed/thought the same thing for some of the girls. Although I thought they all were pretty when getting out of the limit, once they were all sitting around there were a few that I thought weren't nearly as attractive as the others (& honestly, Lauren B was one of them... when she was sitting on the couch talking to Ben I noticed it, but that's just my opinion too). Whereas some, like Lace and {another one that got barely any screen time} I thought were just naturally stunning. Which, speaking of Lace, I don't think she'll last long. Not sure if RS has posted any specifics about her yet, but based on the season teaser at the end and just how naturally psycho she is, I can't imagine Ben dealing with her for any longer than the producers make him. It looks like she hits someone in the eye then goes home!

I thought Michaella was a safe bet too. She's been married for a couple of months now so she's due for one.............. *sarcasm*

Priscilla has a face that (I think) will look better the more she ages. I actually think she looks pretty in that picture, especially compared to pictures of them when they first got married. Or the lighting just made her look good (haha!)

Wow, he really does look more like Izzy now. It's crazy how fast he changed!

The only thing Jessa and Bin have going for themselves is the fact that when 19 Kids and Counting was on, they smiled, said nice things, etc. That's where they got their fan base from. If they had to completely start from scratch like most Evangelicals who aren't raised being on national television, not nearly as many people would be interested in listening to their doom and gloom rants.

This cult brain washes everyone into thinking any minor "slip up" is bad, that honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if her blog is just referring to the fact that she drank. Maybe smoked weed. It's like Jinger saying she was this God-awful sinner when she was 7. They make everything so much more dramatic than what it needs to be. I highly doubt she was into drugs, but I don't doubt that she partied. I also can't believe how OLD she looked/looks.

I agree with a lot of this. The only other thing I'd add is maybe she didn't have a guy whom they didn't approve, but the guy called it off and her parents blamed the severed courtship (possibly to someone of high status in their cult) solely on her (and her "spirit?") and shipped her off. Who knows.

How I feel about Jana: who. really. knows. Remember when we all thought Jessa's "outspokenness" meant she would be The One to possibly split from the cult? Now look at her - she's the most spiteful person I know. I'd like to think that because Jana is close with the Bates girls that she IS nice, sweet, and more like them (i.e., down to earth) than her sisters. I'm not saying that I think that Reddit person was real or not, but it'd be a nice surprise if they were right in that she did want to be an engineer. I mean, really, we think we have an idea of who she is, but we really don't.

This is great. I come from a VERY conservative family, too. I've found the best thing to do is just sit in silence. Sometimes I can't, but it doesn't change anyone's mind anyways. The last three years I've been going to my husband's family's thanksgiving and missing my own family's, which has been hard because I'm pretty close with everyone. I mentioned my SIL before who's never met a stranger and loves talking about herself, her daughter, etc. to anyone. My MIL and all of her sisters absolutely love her. I'm much more quiet - definitely an introvert - and often just sit in silence throughout the whole day. They really couldn't care less about my schooling, life, anything, and they make it pretty obvious (you should've seen their luke warm reaction when my husband announced we were engaged - awkward). It really started to get to me for some reason yesterday. Sitting in silence when you miss your family is emotionally exhausting. Luckily, thanks to some last minute change of plans, my husband and I were able to drive up to my hometown later than evening (our hometowns are about an hour away from each other), where we were able to meet with my family. My husband was able to drink and play cards with my cousins, uncle, BIL, and dad, while I got to take care of my cousin's daughter and baby twins with my aunt and mom (the cousin was out "Black Friday"* shopping). *Black Friday in quotes because it was THURSDAY at 6pm. :|

Speaking of the battle between who is the favorite: I watched the clip of their new show on the Josh and Anna thread and I was really surprised at Jessa's reaction to Izzy in one of the scenes. They're all sitting on a couch together and he starts to crawl over to Jessa's lap. She just sits there - arms crossed, not reaching out to him, looking defensive, and she can't even fake what looks like a genuine smile to him. When my niece was that age I took serious advantage of all the times she reached out for me! We had some serious smiles and cuddles together. It was just so... unnatural. It makes me wonder about a.) her maternal instincts and b.) how jealous she must be (have been?) of the attention the Dillards are (were?) getting. Or she just plain doesn't like the Dillards. Either way, that was such an awkward and cold exchange, in my opinion. Maybe I read too much into it.

Thank you guys for your input/thoughts. You definitely helped me realize that I sometimes am too moody and critical, and my situation definitely could be much worse. I think that's what I worry about most - is my niece. She's already so spoiled and has never been told no (by her mother) in her life. No need to go into all the details, but even my MIL worries that she's going to end up being the poor kid in school that no one likes because she's just so entitled. That's a good idea about the list. I usually will have my husband tell her a few things (honestly, he usually can think of things I need more than me sometimes), but I've never thought about how it might feel for her without me telling her anything. I'm so sorry about your SIL! The one thing my sister definitely has going for her is her personality - she's so friendly, selfless, and likable. It's just the asking for way too much on Christmas that gets to me. My SIL does, however, ask for really big things for herself, her husband, and her daughter that's similar to the iPad situation, which, in my opinion is a bit (way) out of line. I am so sorry that you experienced all of that. My dad grew up in a very similar situation and had nothing growing up (that he could even share with his other siblings). Although I wasn't raised that way, I was raised to have a very similar mentality that my dad had.

I have a random question (or maybe moreso rant) and would be curious on your guys' thoughts: Growing up, I was raised to never go out of my way and ask people for things (e.g., inviting yourself over to a friend's house) because it was rude. Although we would make Christmas lists growing up of the toys we wanted, I don't remember ever going on and on about it to friends and family. I just made the list and gave it to my parents (I'm sure they probably passed it along to family members). As I got older (like my teens, or probably even pre-teens), I stopped making lists altogether and would just randomly tell my parents a few ideas if they asked, which is similar to what I do now (I think so far this year all I've told my parents is running shoes and a heavy-duty umbrella that can withstand wind AND rain). My sister-in-law, on the other hand, is COMPLETELY different. She is one of the sweetest, nicest, and caring women I know, and she always wants everyone else around her to be happy, but one thing that completely bothers me is how much she ASKS for things for Christmas. On Labor Day weekend, my mother-in-law mentioned that she was going to start Christmas shopping soon so if we had any ideas of things we wanted to let her know. I sat there, shrugged, and said something along the lines of, "I'm not sure." My sister-in-law jumped up from the table, grabbed a piece of paper, and started writing down a huge list of things she wants/needs, her husband wants/needs, and her daughter (who is almost 3) wants. Every time we have seen her since, my sister-in-law continues to let everyone around us know new things on their lists. I understand I may have been raised much differently than most people, and maybe I'm being too sensitive, but this bothers me SO much. It comes across as really rude. Her daughter (my niece) is the only niece on this side of the family, and she's absolutely spoiled by my mother-in-law, as well as everyone else in the family. She gets so many toys that she can't even play with them all, but she continues to create HUGE lists of toys that she wants. Then my sister-in-law will tell my niece, when there's a group of people together, to tell everyone what she wants for Christmas. My niece will then, in the middle of the room, recite everything she wants for Christmas. But isn't that NOT the point of Christmas? I feel like it should be about the time spent with family, which my husband and I haven't been able to do as much this year because we've moved farther away from everyone, and less about the presents, and that's how it's always been with my family.

Sorry for the late response (I've been really busy lately), but Burlsa, I don't have a lot of knowledge on disability, but I did do testing for it a few years ago (and a bit last year) when people applied for disability and had anything that warranted a psych evaluation. I talked with a lot of them about the process. it was pretty stressful. Many would have to reapply multiple times until getting it. My own uncle had to go to court and was fighting for disability for the last year and a half and finally won. Usually, even if your doctor sends in medical records, they still send you to doctors that work for disability. Granted, this is all information in my own state, and it may be different than yours.

I wanted to add a comment about pet names/kid names that's going on in the Benessa thread but didn't want to go too off topic so I'm taking it here: I've named all my pets after famous athletes that I like. My first dog I ever had was named after Olympic gymnast Lilia Pokepiava. Her full name is Liliana Pokepiava Marie. My next dog's full name is Daisy Meb Kebflezghi Payton. When my husband and I got our cat we thought she originally was a boy, so her full name originally was Bodhi Lebron (this was the only stipulation my husband had for keeping her), but now it's Bodhi Vonn, after the Olympic skiier and temporary lover (ha) of Tiger Woods, Lindsay Vonn. As for kids names, I know a lot of people mentioned yelling their kid's name out loud to make sure it sounded okay, or putting it with words like "President," etc. My husband and I were both collegiate runners and although we don't have any kids and aren't planning to soon, I still like to think about names I like. I make the decision by imagining what the name would sound like if I were running around a cross country course cheering for them. Based off of that, I decided that anything ended with "ton/ten" (Payton, Clayton, etc.) will not work because they're awkward names to yell (in my opinion).

In Jessa's defense, it probably doesn't take that long to just quickly Google "Bible quotes about sin" and pick her favorite. Especially with Jana over there changing Spurgy's diapers for her. As for my comments on the pet names/kid names, I'm taking my comment to the Prayer Closet. :)

I don't think the Duggars/Dillards/Seewalds have ever had one conversation between each other where they haven't just thrown a bunch of bible verses and God-fearing phrases at each other. I don't understand why Jill can't just shoot Jessa a text and say "Congratulations! I'm so proud of you! You worked hard!" Shoot, I would've even been okay with her posting that on her Instagram. But they always feel like they have to write these long, drawn out, passive aggressive messages to each other. And the religion part always feels so forced.

I don't understand why Jessa and Bin would call him Elliott instead of Spurgeon. If they're going to do that, they should've just named him Elliott to begin with. It's all just to make a statement. I bet Bin gets off thinking about the idea that someday someone might name their first born child "Seewald" when he becomes a world-famous minister.