iscoffy

I also didn't understand why they kept saying "expand the search to include such-and-such," when they were adding criteria that would actually narrow the search. Why wouldn't the broad search have found the information? If anything, the broad search should have found too much information, rather than nothing!

Was I hallucinating the angle that J.J. shot from? I honestly don't get how she shot through the front of the windshield from where she seemed to be standing. And what even happened to the captive guy? They didn't bother to follow up there. They shot the "sad" unsub and then... what? Did the poor captive have a family worried about him? Nobody seemed to care about the wife of the first captive after he was killed, either. All of these things could have been covered, with the team having to deal with breaking news of sorrow or hope and having to confront their own feelings about the failures and success of their profiling efforts. And it would have been covered in the past, rather than spending time on ballerina dancing little girls, eye stapling, and making fun of Reid on a plane. I know which scenes I'd rather see, but...

It pains me to say it, but I think I may be done. When you've just had one of the profilers say that eyes were stapled open and the victims were tortured, we don't then need to see eyes stapled open and victims being tortured. It's bad writing, and it's not why I watch this show. The show has been going more and more in the "super icky unsub" direction so it isn't a surprise, but there just isn't enough of the cast I used to enjoy to get me past the horrifying torture porn. Plus I really can't do eye injuries. Sorry, Criminal Minds, I hung in as long as I could. I assume there isn't an episode next week, since Thanksgiving and serial killers aren't a natural match. Tara did seem to have a slightly less horrible wig this week, so I guess there's that.

I think the cyber team travels by wifi. It's really the only explanation. I had forgotten about this. Maybe my mind blocked it as too stupid to have existed. Was this episode supposed to have run earlier? Haven't they mentioned malware about 952 times previous to the "helpful" explanation? Is there even such a thing as a USB toothbrush? Does it chart how long you brush your teeth or something? Eagerly awaiting the episode where your toothbrush will kill you and everyone you love. They don't have time to hack into the elevator controls or use bolt-cutters on the stairs, but they do have time to hack into every single monitor in bad boss' office. Yeah. I guess Mundo learned his lesson from his five minute time out and bringing his dad chicken soup. Awesome.

Yes, using your coworker's login to check out your own brother's FBI file when you work for cyber crimes couldn't possibly backfire. That's why Avery's team is considered the best and brightest! Except all the "minions" (really, Krummy?), who apparently are reserved for doing internet searches and standing around clapping and cheering.

Bosses who inexplicably have Marfans syndrome, no less. Because with Garcia from Criminal Minds-like powers, one can search "FriendAgenda" (or whatever they call it) and quickly identify people from their bracelets and their moms belonging to disease support groups. I multi-task during this show and this show is really stupid, so I often can't tell if I was just spacing out or if things really didn't make sense. So the creep who put malware in the sex toy was just a random creep who liked to insert himself in other people's internet sex lives, am I getting that right? As opposed to the weird neighbor who was spying through whatever name they made up for Skype? Although apparently the boss was also spying, unless the victim actually told the boss she was going to the police via fake-Skype, which, then, why would she delete it? And the dad shooting the creepy boss was soooo not obviously going to happen. Holy moly, Avery's voice when she was trying to talk down the weird neighbor was so strange and unconvincing. So thanks for that, Oscar winner Patricia Arquette. Bow Wow's family problems are almost as interesting as his relationship with Raven. Or his high-fiving antics with Krummy.

I'm kind of sad that it wasn't sex toys that will kill you and everyone you love.

I don't think all of the cars were supposed to be driverless cars, the guy just managed to hijack them and drive them via video ffed. I can't figure out how he would be able to be especially fast or accurate while doing that, but whatever. Apparently the "color of the day" reveals all. And couldn't they use some of their cheering, inept staff to check on the undercover officer? Only Mundo can do that, apparently, even if last week he was banned from the field.

I can't tell if I've been dulled by how bad this show is, but this episode didn't seem quite as terrible as the rest, somehow. Although DB not knowing what a dongle is was ridiculous, and Krummy and his new buddy's war robot thing was... bad. Not to mention Avery being so super that she will somehow be able to run the cyber division while doing cases. PS: DB, in the scheme of misuse of FBI resources, I'm thinking that fingerprinting a ton of pens and running all those partials through the system probably ranks higher than stealing springs from FBI pens.

As stated by qwerty, the community seemed to exclude pedophiles, as the guy who remembered the logo on the car was terrified the leader of their community would find out his flasher antics were a cover for his pedophilia and kick him out (which made the scene of the leering men even more strange). If they wanted to create a story about a person legitimately struggling with controlling pedophilia, rather than just hinting at it, that could be interesting (along the lines of Nathan Harris), but they obviously wanted to spend time with Super!Tara and bashing around cheerleaders instead. Not that I would trust these writers to handle that in any sort of way worth watching, nor write anything close to "Sex, Birth, Death" anyway.

I think it's really a function of the writers not wanting to be bothered to look at (or think about) the "book" of canon. Lewis is a new shiny character they can play with, and they don't have to worry about contradicting anything in the show's lengthy history. I actually don't mind her and she amazingly does have a specialty, but I assume if the show lasts and she's still on it, she will become as blandly competent at everything as the rest of them soon enough. I am finding it pretty hilarious when the team does the round table, spouts some random stuff in turn, and then Hotch inevitably declares, "We're ready to deliver the profile." Really? I'm assuming the writers just don't want to bother to figure out actual profiling anymore, but it's so incredibly perfunctory now. Sadly, there was a lot of interesting stuff about the village and their leader's antics with tracking chips and contracts (which he's too good to have to use or sign himself), and who was and wasn't allowed to be in the village that just got ignored in favor of weird cheerleader stalking that wasn't really explained. I was kind of hoping bland cop guy would have been the unsub to justify the amount of time we spent on him and his moppets, but no.

Huh?! So the former head doctor who rehabilitated the image of the hospital decided to not only kill the reputation of the hospital but also kill actual patients because the hospital board put someone else in charge? And somehow she knew to lurk on the deep web to buy script to hack the pumps? And how to set up all the other hack stuff? Apparently her God complex gave her all sorts of hacking powers. I found it quite hilarious that Krummy, who, along with his fellow hackers, likes to high-five everyone at the slightest provocation, didn't want to high-five the weirdo that Mundo stupidly charged off and got. Wasn't really interested in what happened to Finn, but I guess at least there's a resolution. They should take Patricia Arquette's Oscar back for her crying voice, though. Yikes.

A janitor whose wife (or kid) died because of evil insurance companies cut off payments, perhaps?

Among many other things that didn't make sense to me in this over-labored plot, what the heck was this guy's end game with the baby? I assume since he made one coffin, he wasn't planning to jump, he just made that decision when Hotch showed up (unfortunately for Morpheus, since it looked like she was getting through to him prior to Hotch banging through the door). So if everything had gone according to plan, he was going to... what? Force his ex off the roof and then take off with this random baby? Even if he was planning to jump, he was just going to leave this baby in an abandoned building in Detroit? This could have been an interesting story, there was just way too much going on, and the profilers made so many amazing jumps to reach their conclusions, and then, of course, there was Garcia's computer. Seriously, what is she even querying? The internet at large? Does she just have access to everybody's phone and bank records, let alone news clippings from years ago and detailed arrest records, and have access to all of this at all times, and also has some amazing database querying system that can sort through it all?

@ottoDbusdriver -- Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. I also kept hearing "Red Crone" as "Red Crumb," which is probably the least intimidating name ever for a scary urban legend.

To be fair, that's how they write all the characters these days. Blandly perfect, interchangeable, with the same skill set, never having conflicts with anyone on the job. Except JJ, who can do everything better and be a super mom too! They have apparently given up on bothering to remember anybody's specialties or issues they've had in the past.

Letting your kids have cell phones and/or visit Reddit will kill you and everyone you know! Or have pedophiles lure your kids to abandoned theaters? At least Avery finally is doing something about Mundo's rampant aggression issues. Better late than never, I guess. Sooo not excited for what seems like the inevitable Davery. Or whatever ridiculous portmanteau they devise. Sooo not interested in "Bravery" or Krummy/anybody or any of Mundo's plethora of personal issues. But hey, good thing DB brought his magic blood age detection giant camera lens with him on a long hike through a graveyard and the woods.

Well, that was distasteful. If there ever was an episode in which to tone down Mundo's bashing people around, this was probably it, but this show isn't that aware, apparently. You can have a heart-to-heart with your one black coworker and I guess it's all fine. Outside of the general bad taste this episode left, would there really be only one person/place in all of wherever they were using that particular frequency?

I don't think the episode necessarily meant to go there, but there was kind of an icky underlayment to the whole thing, because, you know, overweight, not conventionally attractive women are suspect and in danger of becoming deranged and killing people because conventionally attractive men could never, ever love them. On a separate nitpicky note, do all florists really grow their own flowers? I don't see why a florist having greenhouse flowers means that they must own a greenhouse. The whole operation seemed kind of rinky-dink for three people to be running a storefront, doing flower arrangement, running a photo business and keeping up a greenhouse with exotic flowers, but I guess in the scheme of ridiculous things about the episode, that is one of the least.

So PCOS doesn't make you crazy, but it might make you crazy? What was the point of that interlude? And I'm 99% sure the person they showed carrying the walloped bride in the alleyway was not the actress who played the unsub, which had me hoping there was a twist somewhere, but, sadly, no. Spencer Weed is making me think of the Speed Weed era on L&O: SVU. Unfortunately, Criminal Minds appears to be in its own Speed Weed era.

Maybe Roz got fed up with his weird codependency on Fin and moved to her dream house in Seattle by herself. I guess it depends if Mary Steenburgen dates on the app they just discovered makes it simple for people to make fake accounts and stalk you. And would look at the profile of a guy who has the user name "Dolla Bill." I guess I just always liked that D.B. seemed stable and emotionally mature. Not that stable and emotionally mature people can't end up divorced, but it doesn't seem necessary.

Mostly D.B. seems to be showing Patricia Arquette cool gadgets that he's playing with on company money for no apparent reason. Mundo was a real ass about Raven's friend to Raven. He had pretty much decided she was guilty because she had priors. Way to follow the evidence, Mundo!

I can't even begin to discuss Mundo's family issues or whatever that plot was (your dating apps will kill you -- or get you framed for the murder of some poor random dude who went to the wrong actual frame store), but please, someone tell me that D.B. being divorced (did we know that?) will never, ever, ever lead to some kind of romantic relationship with Patricia Arquette's character. I would say that I hatewatch this show but I don't care enough about it to hate it, really; however, that would drive me over the edge. I kept waiting for there to be some payoff to the horrendous spacious glass shower sex scene mention-- like, I don't know, Mr. How Dare You Be Suspicious Cop getting a tip that somebody was sliding down Raven's drainpipe the night of the swat, but, nope.

I am going to guess she asked for a short wig, not that she asked for that particular wig. Hopefully.

So the brothers had fish at their polygamist compound, which they left alone enough to have that kind of feeder? I'm so used to Tim Kang being the stone-faced Kimball Cho on the Mentalist that I had a hard time with the emoting and the hair. When he was being interrogated by Aisha Taylor, the bad wig/hair situation was overwhelming. So did they just never call anyone to deal with the sarin in the parking garage? Sure, it was in the car, but that was a lot of sarin. I don't know, this wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great, either.