MatthewtheRaven

The notion that Oliver somehow held Felicity back is, IMO, preposterous. Oliver never said or did anything indicating he didn't want Felicity to move on. Actually, after The Calm he did the opposite. He repeatedly told her he couldn't be with her, stood by that, even helped her and Ray during the latter's episode. Neither did he ever say he wanted her to be there for him; interestingly, Felicity was the one telling Oliver "As long as you're in my life, I am [happy]." For her part, Felicity never said or did anything to indicate she had difficulty moving on because of Oliver telling her he loved her.

Felicity never told Oliver to not tell her he loved her if he couldn't be with her. She asked him to tell her he didn't love her in The Calm to get closure, before she told him it was over and walked away. Oliver told her he loved her ONE time after this, and only after Felicity ASKED him what the second thing (he knew) was. She asked for honesty. Granted, he said the "you know how I feel about her" in 3.05 which implies love but he, as apinknightmare points out, saw her bristle and it clearly didn't keep her from moving on since two episodes later she kissed Ray. If he hadn't walked out on her it's likely their relationship would have begun after this. Oliver didn't keep Felicity from moving on. Please allow her a little more agency than that.

I'm vehemently opposed to lying to the people you love so I for one am super happy Oliver didn't lie to her and tell her he didn't love her. That would have made me respect him a lot less. I'm also glad he respected her and didn't follow after her in 3.12 after she stopped him from getting closer to her.

This is Oliver Queen. Mr "Because of the life that I lead I just think it's better to not be with someone I could really care about" who in the episode you mentioned, The Calm, just admitted that maybe he was wrong with that statement -- only to, minutes later, have the vicinity go 'splodey injuring the person he not only really cared about but loved. Even if he understood she fantasized they might be together if/when he returned - which he still never said, stated or even claimed - it wasn't a possibility in his mind at the time that they could be. I agree, it's not fair of him to make that decision for them, which, again, makes Felicity's agency all the more important. He approached her after he returned and she stopped him. Oliver’s life and mindset prevented him from telling her at any chance they could get together, because prior to sometime in the latter half of season 3 such a chance didn’t exist. In his mind, should be added. At least not after The Calm. He isn't telling her he loves her to get together with her; he is telling her he loves her because he loves her. He loves her regardless if they're together, separate, even when she's with someone else. That’s how love works.

Actually, Oliver said no such thing. Neither did Felicity say anything about her being upset that he'd gone to see Thea and Malcolm first nor how he greeted Diggle and Roy; in fact, when she explained why she was upset neither of those were the reasons. The relationship between them is IMO implied by both but Oliver never states reasons she’s upset, just that it isn’t that he let them believe he was dead for weeks or aligning himself with Malcolm Merlyn, prompting her to explain why she’s really upset. When she does, when she tells him how, now he’s back, he’s aligning himself with a man who turned his sister, a woman he’s supposed to love, into a killer, who killed a woman he used to love and how she doesn’t want to be a woman he loves (ouch my brain) as necessary and painful as that may be for him to hear IMO he actually seems to understand it - why she’s upset with him and the choices he’s made - hence not fighting her on the matter or chasing after her once she tells him she doesn’t want to be a woman he loves. (Ouch.) The point of this is she too pushed him away here, IMO without a doubt rightfully so. I’ll get back to why I think it’s important to acknowledge that at the end of this. I didn't see it as Oliver telling Felicity he loved her only because he was walking away -- he told her because he loved her. He admitted to only being sure of two things: being willing to do anything to save his sister, and, when Felicity asked him what the second thing was, he admitted it was he loved her. He didn't expect anything from her in return. He told her because she asked and he loved her. Regarding his return and willingness to be in a relationship with her, while I think he still was at a point where he didn't believe he could be in a relationship with her yet, if ever, to be fair she didn’t give him a chance to say one way or the other. He announced he was teaming up with Malcolm; she expressed her frustration with that choice, letting him know she didn't want to be a woman he loved and walked away. I support Felicity in doing this and I'm not saying Oliver made the right choices, but I think it’s important to acknowledge Felicity justifiably and rightfully pushing Oliver away after aligning himself with Malcolm, because denying it or putting all blame on Oliver IMO denies her of what little agency she has. Hopefully season 4 will increase that agency and give her a storyline of her own, though I realize past writing speaks against that. But here's to hoping.

I don't agree choosing 'neither' is regressing him at all when the season 3 finale hammered it home that he's become something/someone else. Agreed, you can't choose to not be a part of your (old) self because you will always carry those parts with you, but you can choose to become something else, something more. Therefore, he is not rejecting his old self/selves; Oliver Queen and The Arrow are identities that was. He is now reconciling what they've made him into, hence him telling Felicity "[he'd] like to discover a little more about that person". He stated he wants to discover who he's become, which is not a rejection of his self but a becoming of something other. Simply put: he's moving on. To what - which might very well prove to be a merging of both, perchance a step beyond - I assume season 4 will show us. On the whole, discussing Oliver’s mental health feels a moot point since we all know he’s less than mentally healthy. Hopefully with what he's been through, and now, with Felicity by his side, he'll become something that at the very least is healthier than before.

While I agree with several things in your post I don't with this. Season 3 presented Oliver's identity dilemma: is he the Oliver Queen identity or The Arrow identity? Most of us, myself included, thought the conclusion to this would be 'both' but there was another option most of us never considered: neither. And that's the resolution of Oliver's season 3 identity dilemma: he's neither the Oliver Queen identity or the Arrow identity. As Felicity told him, he's become someone, something else. I assume who that is is what season 4 will explore, as you mention. Therefore I wouldn't say season 3 failed to give a resolution to the identity dilemma presented; it just wasn't the one we expected. In the question of "Am I Option A or Option B?" the answer was neither Option A, Option B or even 'both', but 'neither'. His duality was resolved by removing both options. I'm not saying I liked it or it's the way I would have written it - it's not - but it's also not really true to claim Oliver's season 3 identity dilemma wasn't resolved. It was, in an unexpected (IMO dumb) way. Hopefully it, and he, will become someone and something else in season 4. Also, saying Oliver learned "absolutely nothing" is IMO not only harsh but makes me wonder if we're watching the same show as it dismisses all his character growth, but that's a discussion for another day (and thread).

I haven't seen anything indicating EBR having a preference for Ray. At this con after she said the choices she made for herself as Emily - marry Ray, kiss Oliver, kill Barry - she added "you don't have to kiss the one you marry". Make of that what you will; however, IMO Oliver came out looking the better option in both cases. That and how enthusiastic and happy, according to fan reports, she was talking about Oliver and Olicity in both panels and private encounters, tells me she really likes Oliver and Olicity. Of course the only way of knowing for sure is by asking EBR. But I have never seen anything indicating she thinks Ray is the better option for Felicity other than when Oliver made himself unavailable to her. Another thing worth mentioning is in EBR's lounge meeting she admitted she's aware she's not a "big potato" with the head honchos at the CW. This might also affect how she speaks about her character and Olicity. Personally I think she wants more for Felicity than just her relationship with Oliver and hope she gets it, but going by past writing it's likely they'll tie Felicity's story to Oliver somehow.