lucy711
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Posts posted by lucy711
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After watching this episode it reminded me how Karine can look really dirty and unkempt. It's great that she is taking English classes, but how is she living? Has Paul been sending her his measly paychecks? I don't remember her ever working.
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On 6/14/2019 at 12:21 PM, iwasish said:
It would be nice if I could drum up some sympathy for Karine, but I can’t. She hopped in bed with him, got knocked up twice and married him. She had plenty of evidence that Pol was “strange”, they fought constantly, she manipulated him and played into his weirdness. Demanding he purchase all kinds of crap for her. I also think she has some kind of drinking or drug related problem. Honestly I wouldn’t trust her around a baby. When she and Pol are fighting who knows what kind of crazy things she(or he) would do.
I agree. She has also been incredibly immature and begged for a baby knowing that they couldn't support the kid.
Regarding Evelyn and Corey...what a disaster. I wouldn't want to become a Mormon but it was rude of her to trash Corey's religion when she was staying on his parent's property, and it's really sad that Corey can't see that she doesn't like him much at all.
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What do these two do that they are so busy that they need a nanny? I really don't get it...especially since their daughter should be taking a long nap each day.
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I have a toddler. Cars get messy easily, especially when you are carting them to and from playgrounds. But a quick clean once in a while is all you need. I also think it would be a very bad idea to keep food in the car in the summer.
I'm a stay at home mom, so it's kind of my job to keep things clean. I'm not so sure what Jill thinks her role is!
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I agree with your assessment.
I don't think it's too strange that the Duggars see her as a martyr because she was listed as one in the "Book of Martyrs" from that era written by a Protestant author. Granted, the book is like 500 years old, but whatever.
I am not a fan of calling her a martyr, but I can see how one could make the mental stretch.
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3 hours ago, jukie said:
When I read Jill's 'Sermon on Sex' I kept thinking about that circa 1950's how to be a good housewife article ...
http://realhonestmom.com/happened-lived-life-according-1955-good-wifes-guide/
Just so you know- many historians think this article is fake. It supposedly appeared in a housekeeping magazine but people have checked the supposed issue ant it wasn't there. I used this my first year of teaching history and then dumped it because I don't know where it actually came from or who wrote it.
Of course, that doesn't negate the pressure on housewives of the 1950s.
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If she was not wearing a tight dress or cradling her stomach, you'd have no idea that she was pregnant. I know she can't wait to have a large bump. I was thrilled I didn't have to wear maternity clothes until I was pretty far along. There's nothing comfortable about being large!
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1 hour ago, Meow25 said:
I'm not from the south, but I can state without hesitation that there WAS is a HUGE toward homebirth. It's the whole granola mom thing. I'm a Gen X'er, and I gave birth in the early to mid 2000s...and that is really when things like natural homebirth, anti-vax, anti-doctor, anti- circ, cloth diapering, all natural cleaning products, exclusive BF, child-led weaning, anti-eye goop...pretty much ALL things non-interventionist. I'm not saying all of these things are bad, some certainly are, but that was def. the trend. I will say that most of these moms that I knew were either extremely far-left leaning (think Rikki Lake), or extremely far-right leaning (The Duggars). Basically extremists on both sides that believed that either "chemicals and the government are going to poison us". I heard it ALL about how I was poisoning my children, and giving them the autisms, from both my super liberal friends and my super conservative friends. The granola trend.
If Jessa thinks she's ON TREND, she isn't. That trend is fading fast. The younger moms (younger millennials) appear to be smarter than the younger Gen X'ers and older millennials. Moms are going back to the hospitals, and back to immunizations.
I don't believe that this is religiously motivated due to modesty. If that were true, there wouldn't be cameras. I believe this is a "trend" that has gone out of fashion, but in Arkansas, they are usually behind trends by a few years. In reality, it is hardcore narcissism at it's finest.I'm not sure home birth is declining. As of 2015 home births were still increasing according to an NY Times article. I'm part of the Millennial mom generation, and the very liberal women I know are all really big into the home birth, cloth diapering, make-your-own organic baby food trends. I know that the religious conservatives do it too, but I don't know any of those in my area. And the moms I know who chose not to use epidurals brag about that.
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That shirt is awful. It is so unflattering. Jill doesn't have a bad figure but she wears all of this oversized stuff that doesn't look good.
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Obviously these two have a pro-life agenda, but I know many women of all political backgrounds who mourn their miscarried babies including referring to them with a number like Lauren does here. I understand that everyone processes and grieves differently, so they do what is best for them. I do, however, raise my eyebrow when rainbow babies are called "miracle babies." There are true miracle babies out there- babies who are born super premature and survive or babies born to women who have been declared infertile. But if a woman becomes pregnant after one miscarriage, I don't consider it to be a miracle considering how common miscarriages are. Now that I think about it, almost everyone I know who miscarried went on to have one or more healthy children.
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The reading thing is nice but not super special. When parents read to kids and the kids like books they memorize certain words pretty easily.
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I think in most states kids do kindergarten at 5.
Derick should understand why people ask about their income...most young families can't go years on end without either parent having a full-time job! Seems like a logical question to me. Derick- most families do not live like you. You are not "getting by" like everyone else.
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I know that the consensus among many is that Jeremy is the best Duggar-girl husband, but I have to disagree. I can't stand arrogant men. That is a major turnoff for me. I think I'd rather be married to Ben or Derrick because maybe if I ignored them they would just let me do my own thing. Although seeing Derrick's face on a daily basis is a scary thought!
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Why does her shirt say "thick?" She's really not.
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I'm with those that think Jill should be taking her TWO (not twenty) kids to the grocery store. Yes, it is a pain sometimes to go with kids. It takes more time. But she's a stay at home mother! She has the time. I go in person because I know it is good for my son. At first he ran all over, but now he follows me, can listen for directions and take things off of the shelf, and he helps me unload at the checkout line. He also gets to pick out certain things that he likes. Behaving in public is a learned skill. I'm happy to report that my toddler son does well in stores, restaurants, and at the library because he's always come with me.
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2 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:
I must be older than you are. I remember cyclamates and saccharin, in diet soda. I survived, as well. I seriously doubt that a once-in-awhile bit of caffeine or sugar in a small portion is going to be harmful to healthy children.
Agreed. My father is 64 and was given coffee for the first time when he was 5. He told me that he drank a full cup every day before elementary school (and from then on). This was just normal in his Polish-American immigrant family. I wouldn't think of doing that with my son, but it does remind me to not get too worked up over the times when my son gets more sugar or caffeine than he should! (In case anyone is curious, my dad is in good health)!
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On 4/27/2019 at 10:35 AM, bigskygirl said:
There are millions of people who had crappy childhood, but it does give them the right to molest their siblings or "cheat" on their spouse. I bet Josh would have turn out to be a total ass even if he had a normal decent childhood. I also think he is sorry because he got caught, and is not sorry for what he did aka the devil made me do it or I was just curious about sex and the female body. Anna was "given" to Josh because his idiot parents thought it would cure his needs.
Of course it doesn't give him a right. Nothing excuses what he did. No one has a right to molest anyone, much less their own sisters. Josh may have had issues regardless of how he grew up, but my point is that his upbringing did him no favors whatsoever. His parents responded inappropriately and likely never forced him to take ownership for his terrible behavior. Then he got married young and probably shouldn't have. If he was a better/stronger man he would have resisted since he clearly wasn't ready to settle down, but I do understand that it would be difficult to grow up in Duggar world and suddenly break away and do your own thing.
It's kinda like when someone who grew up in a broken, dysfunctional home with terrible parents ends up getting involved in criminal doings. Their background doesn't excuse their actions (and many people grow up in terrible situations and lead good lives), but you see how the environment they were raised in helped to worsen the issue.
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I do think Anna wants this baby, so congrats to her. I'm sure her children are what give life meaning for her. I also think she is a good mother.
I can't imagine living with Josh, but maybe he and Anna have an understanding and he is truly sorry for what he did. I do feel a tiny (very tiny) bit sorry for Josh because maybe he would not have done what he did if he lived in a household that didn't treat normal sexual urges like sins. It does not excuse any of his behaviors but I imagine it would be difficult to grow up the way he did.
I also wonder if he really knew Anna well before they married or if they got married because his parents thought it was a good idea and it was simply expected of him.
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I just saw the makeover pictures. The bedroom does not look good. It looks really cheap-- this is what I would expect to see in the apartment of a 22 year old who has no money and is living with a few roommates. And mothers, more than anyone else, need a nightstand! That's where you put the burp cloths, bottles, nursing pillows, and anything that aids you in feeding or nursing your baby at night.
I am not very good at interior design myself...but I also wouldn't post photos of my rooms on social media and pretend that it was something remarkable.
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I think Jill would be devastated by what Derrick wrote. But if I were married to Derrick (heaven forbid!) I wouldn't be. That's because I agree with him in a way. I don't believe in the idea of "soulmates" and I think everyone settles to an extent. I'm writing this as a happily married woman. I dated my husband for five years, and we've been married for ten. I am content in my marriage and don't want to be with anyone else. But I think it would be a lie to say that I couldn't be equally happy with another man. If he didn't attend the same college as I did and we never met, I believe I would have found someone else and most likely been married happily. Overall my husband is a great guy, but he has some flaws that I "settled for" and ditto for me. Call it unromantic (it is) but it is true and I don't think either of us has a problem being realistic about it.
The reason I don't believe in the idea of "the one" is that I have seen too many people in my family be widowed and find happiness in a second marriage. My parents were married for 25 years. They had a great marriage. My mom died and my dad remarried. He has another great marriage. I suppose what I'm saying is that I find Derrick to be realistic and since I'm a grown woman I don't need my husband to pretend that I'm the moon and the stars. I do feel bad for Jill because I think she would like that, but I know that I'm loved and appreciated. I don't need any cliched statements about romance to make me feel valued.
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Jessa seems to be somewhat of a mean girl. I would be livid if I was Lauren. Jessa only thinks about herself.
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18 minutes ago, leighdear said:
My only objection is that Josiah said "WE"miscarried. No, Lauren did.
Yes, it was your baby also, but YOU were not gestating it, Si. The uterus it grows in is the only one that is now empty.
You were expecting to be a father. You were anticipating your child. But you were not pregnant.
The women in that clan can't even have that to themselves, it has to be all about the guy too. Idiot.
I agree with you that "she miscarried." However, I have been hearing couples saying more and more frequently that "we are pregnant." I've heard colleagues, family members, friends, and Facebook acquaintances use it. I've been surprised by how common it is. It's NOT a fundie thing. I live in NJ and the vast majority of people I know are not religious whatsoever. So if that is acceptable, I think it is fair game to say "we miscarried."
Personally- my husband and I never said "we." He was never pregnant.
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4 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:
Ref: Jinger's post about how blessed she is to have Felicity, etc.
I'm sure she does adore Felicity and does feel blessed to have her. I feel beyond lucky to have my kids - I'm not religious, so I'd say lucky rather than blessed. I mean it as I'm lucky to have my kids as my kids, because I'm so in love with (99% of) their little personalities, etc, not because I feel like it means I got lucky because I had kids and some people don't have kids. I also felt lucky in different ways when I didn't have kids yet (more extra income, more free time, more traveling, etc). It's not to mean I'm favored or anything because I have kids, I guess. I feel lucky to have my little stinkers as my kids because I do adore them, even though they're a ton of work and require a lot of sacrifice and truthfully, make life harder in so many ways. Felicity is at that stage where she's showing personality and more than a potato....this is the stage where you really get to know your baby as a person more and more....I think that may be what Jinger is kind of trying to express (poorly, because Fundie speak).
I also always think whenever moms go on & on in social media posts about how awesome being a mom is....that it's often not their followers they're trying to convince, but themselves. Society tells women they should love being moms. Society tells women they should adore their babies more than anything. Society tells women that being a mom (especially to a baby) is so awesome all of the time and such a blessing- no one complains because it's so awesome! It's really not acceptable in society to complain about parenthood until maybe your kid is a teenager. Something is wrong with you if you complain or mention that it isn't all rainbows and butterflies 24/7 when you have a small child/baby. Jinger was raised with this narrative about motherhood times a million thanks to Gothard/Fundamentalism/etc. She has to feel that "perfect mom who loves being a mom because it's 24/7 the best thing ever!" pressure even more than the rest of us in society do. I really feel for her and other women in Fundamentalism for that, because the pressure is immense and suffocating even for those of us in secular soceity.
So...I just keep that in mind whenever I see moms posting a lot about how much they love being moms and how "blessed" they are by their kids. I know (as all parents do) that being a parent is f***ing tough. These moms may not be "bragging" or trying to sell you on motherhood as much as they're trying to sell themselves the idea that they, too, are "normal" women who of course love being a mom all of the time.
It's especially tough to be a parent if you don't have sisters and grandparents (or daughters who can sister-mom) around all of the time to pass you babies off on (and Jinger, unlike many of the other Duggar kids who have babies and live in Arkansas, doesn't have this). Most of the time she (and Jeremy) are parenting alone (yes, they don't really work and all....but this is still way more active parenting and "work" than Jinger ever saw Michelle do with her babies). My guess is Jinger has figured out like all of us first time parents that being a parent is hard as f*** and she may be talking to herself in these posts (in the "Fundie speak" language she's fluent in) as much as she's talking to others. I don't think she means any offense necessarily to those who don't or can't have kids as much as she may just be convincng herself of how awesome her own life choices are. How dare one complain about such a kind blessing from God and all, right? She may, at times, need to convince herself of that, since complaining about motherhood is taboo.
A wise therapist once told me that when people seem to be making things about you not being where they are in life, that's actually really about them and their struggle with where they are in life. I read all these "motherhood is amazing and I have no complaints because I am so blessed!" etc posts (from Jinger and from basically every mom I'm friends with on social media who does this) that way....because as a mom, I know better. I see you, moms. I know it ain't all perfect and I know you're talking to yourselves a lot of the time. ;)
I think Jinger is truly in love with and in awe of Felicity, like a lot of new moms are (especially first-time moms), which doesn't also negate that she is probably trying to convince herself it's the best thing ever when it's also the hardest damn thing ever. I hope maybe she sees that if she doesn't have eleventy blessings, she can know and spend time with Felicity and any (small number) of subsequent children and get to enjoy them more than she could with double digit blessings. Maybe Jinger's adoration for Felicity as a little person with her own personality will slow down the baby train for the Duggalos. (And hopefully Jeremy will show some common sense as he has in some other areas - buying a house, living away from JB, being cool with pants for women, being okay with an alcoholic beverage once in a while, etc - and also slow down the baby train.) I'd also assume that not having Jana and other Duggars to drop the kids on down the street/a short car ride away will also slow the baby train down. Plus, whenever the number of kids start costing more to feed/clothe/care for than what Jeremy needs for his clothing, hair products, shoes, etc, I'm sure the baby train will come to a hault.
(I haven't said this eloquently, so I hope it all makes sense.)
I don't disagree with everything you said. I do think a lot of people post things like this to convince themselves that they are super happy because that is what society expects. However, she might honestly believe that. I don't want to sound corny, but motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me, period. I had a full life prior to the birth of my son, but I have become a better person and enjoyed life so much more since his birth. Yeah, parenthood is hard, but I expected that going in. No one should have children and not expect (many) difficulties. I have to believe that there are other women out there like me who are being true to how they feel.
Now would Jinger feel this way if she had the opportunity to pursue an education or career prior to being a mother? That's another story. But I had all these opportunities given to the modern American woman and even though motherhood isn't perfect, it's the closet thing to perfection that I have found. I'm willing to admit I may be a rare breed, but we do exist.
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4 hours ago, Elizzikra said:
I hate strapless dresses (yet I had one for my wedding, go figure). Anyway, in my limited experience with them (including said wedding dresses) your choices are to have them REALLY tight across the bust or to be constantly tugging them up all night (I suppose a third option is a wardrobe dysfunction but I really wasn't willing to flash family and friends). They're a pain in the ass. Give me straps or sleeves any day.
I agree. They have been popular forever, too. When I got married back in 2009, I had trouble finding dresses that weren't strapless. I ended up buying a strapless dress and having cap sleeves added on. You also have to have the right shape to pull it off. If you are small on top, it makes you look like a pancake. If you are large, then you have the Ashley effect where the cups dig into your skin.
3 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:I wish Gofundme appeals had to be accompanied by a record of the supplicant's income and expenses for the last 10 years.
Oh such a good idea. Generally I will only donate if I know the person or if the person is a friend of a friend.
1 hour ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:I wanna know how not only Ashley bartends and makes bank with 2 small kids, bartender shifts are a lot of late nights. I get it's not the 1950s and women hold any job they want as well they should, but that's a rough shift together kids ready for school etc if you're up all night. And have lupus.
I wondered this too! Someone said that apparently she only has her kids for 2 weekends a month. If so, that would explain it. There aren't really any daycares or afterschool programs that would fit a bartender's schedule. I also think she must be getting some $$ from her parents or something. I don't see how she can afford everything otherwise.
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S01.E04: Big Expectations
in 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way
I wouldn't have been surprised if there was a man in there with Karine. Paul's nuts but him asking for a paternity test isn't that crazy considering the timeline. I feel like it's a 50-50 chance that it was him before he left Brazil or another guy shortly after he left Brazil. Of course, maybe in real life the time line makes more sense since the show seemed to portray the miscarriage and the second pregnancy as if they happened within two days of each other.
The woman going to South Africa should go herself, figure out if this guy is stable, discuss how they will support themselves, and then consider bringing over the kid. As usual on this show, she is putting the cart before the horse.