DrCilona

Hello everyone. Thanks for all of your opinions about the show--even the biting ones. It's interesting to see so many different reactions and perspectives. I'll be checking back occasionally and will do my best to address any specific questions anyone might have for me. A few responses to some comments I saw while browsing through all these threads: Regarding the statistics quoted on arranged marriages and how they neglect certain important cultural influences and other factors: You're absolutely right. However, I did discuss these cultural variables as they relate to the statistics cited. Unfortunately, that did not make the edit for the show. These cultural variables (e.g stigma against divorce, women not having a choice, etc) most certainly impact these statistics. I think it's very difficult to calculate exactly how much, but it is certainly significant. However, for me, the difference in divorce rates between arranged marriages around the world and self-chosen romantic marriages are so extreme, I think even if/when you could factor out the aforementioned cultural variables, it's still worth considering and exploring. Which is exactly what we are doing in Married At First Sight. The reality is that the "sanctity of marriage" has been undermined in this country for decades. Divorce rates and rates of infidelity are staggering. The number of people entering into third and fourth marriages is growing. What if this experiment can shed light on these issues, and prompt people to really look at not only what is already going so wrong, but new and innovative ways to understand, explore, and address these serious problems? For me, the show is not saying that people should marry blindly and use professionals to match them in an arranged marriage to a stranger. It is using a provocative and extreme premise to explore these important issues, and using that vehicle to get people to pay attention, listen, consider, and engage in a dialogue. Is it also a television production that is intended to engage viewers? Of course. But for me, these two things are not mutually exclusive. Maybe some people should consider the opinions of friends, loved, ones, or even professionals in their choices in romantic relationships and marriage. Maybe there are elements of certain arranged marriages that are worth exploring, understanding more deeply and applying in some ways to our own lives. Maybe there is something of value to be found in Married At First Sight that otherwise might not be revealed. Regarding the choice to include Jason. I think it's important to clarify that my role was not to judge, moralize, or make/influence decisions for the participants. I explored Jason's motivations, feelings, thoughts, and perspective about participating in the experiment very thoroughly through extensive clinical interviews. I found him to be very mature, have great clarity about his motivations and decisions, and a thorough understanding of possible consequences to his choices. All of the other assessments revealed that he was stable, did not evidence any potentially troublesome mental health issues that might render unable to deal with his decision to participate, nor were there any other issues that indicated that there might be some significant risk for him. On a personal level, I identified very much with Jason's situation, as I was the primary caretaker for my own mother during her battle with pancreatic cancer. I have respect for his decision to participate, and stand by my recommendation to include him. Regarding the testing, I'm not quite sure how else to clarify that this was not merely a questionnaire. I understand, though, how the way they edited the show made it appear this way. I spoke at length on camera explaining the assessment process and instruments used. Unfortunately, again, it did not make the edit. And, of course, the line about the "FBI and CIA" made it and was repeated numerous times. For those who have interest in educating themselves about the actual instruments used (and, yes, some are used but he FBI and CIA), below are some of them. A simple Google search will reveal a lot of information about them, though be sure to watch the sources of information you are reading and make certain they are legitimate): 1. Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI-2) 2. Revised NEO Personality Inventory (NEO-PI-R) 3. Catell's 16 Personality Factor Test (16 PF) 4. Personality Assessment Inventory (PAI) These instruments, of course, have their limits and individual strengths and weaknesses. I chose so many because the findings are strengthened significantly when results appear across multiple measures. I also conducted in-depth clinical interviews, formulated an extensive and detailed questionnaire, and all participants underwent background checks and full psychological evaluations. It was an exceptionally rigorous, thorough, intensive, and time consuming process. I hear and acknowledge the points made about the subject sample of potential participants being small--it was. It was important to me that this information was shared so viewers could draw more informed opinions. Though, keep in mind that there were very real limits imposed by many external factors in this experiment. And, it was a genuine experiment. The controversial and extreme nature of the premise rendered the pool of participants limited. The fact that this was all occurring in the context of a produced television production should, of course, always be remembered. I feel strongly that the exploration of the many themes that emerge in this project about love, commitment, relationships, marriage, and divorce are important ones for us to consider. The vehicle used to create a context for drawing attention to these themes is a television production chronicling a provocatively themed experiment. My hope is that some people will look deeper into these important issues. I knew I would be taking a tremendous amount of risk agreeing to participate in this project. So far, from what I've seen of the final product, I'm not regretting the decision. I personally do not feel that this is in anyway a "train wreck". I have certainly, though, been frustrated that only a small fraction of what I had to say was featured, but I knew that risk going into this and must now accept these frustrations. I would just remind everyone to keep in mind that there were literally hours and hours and hours of expert commentary made about all the themes and issues relevant to the experiment. Only a few minutes of this are able to be featured. Again, if anyone has specific questions that I might be able to answer, I will do my best to do so.

Hello. I'm actually the psychologist on Married At First Sight. I%u2019ve been following the press related to the show. I%u2019m not surprised to see a lot of negative reactions and opinions. I certainly expected that given the extremely controversial nature of the show. However, I am a bit surprised to see so much strong opinion criticizing the concept of the show largely due to the ongoing battle for marriage equality. I feel compelled to clarify that I am an active and strong supporter and advocate of marriage equality--for EVERYONE--including adults who choose to try this as a way to find a spouse. A little background about how I came to be involved in the show: I have been approached by over a dozen production companies to be involved in various shows over the years. I passed on all of them, usually because I felt that they were exploitive, sensational, or otherwise did not offer anything of value to the viewer. Ironically, this one sounds the most over-the-top, but I ultimately agreed to do it because it was so different than what I imagined. I initially refused to even take the meeting to find out more about it because it sounded so absurd. Ultimately I did, and I was very surprised to learn that it was very different than what I expected. Finally, when I viewed the original Danish series of the same name that the US version would be based on, I was sold and agreed to do it. The Danish version was touching, poignant, authentic, respectful, thought provoking, and very well executed. In fact, it was recently nominated for the prestigious Rose D'Or award (the European version of the Emmy). Once I was in, I was still a bit uneasy about the whole project, knowing that just because the Danish version was great, there was no guarantee the US version would be executed as well. I was very relieved, though, when I learned about the other experts that would be involved: premiere expert in Human Sexuality Logan Levkoff, PhD, professor of Sociology and accomplished author Pepper Schwartz, PhD and head Humanist Chaplain at Harvard University Greg Epstein. I was relieved not only that these were respected and accomplished experts, but that they would also share the burden of what I considered to be a very serious, and somewhat daunting task. We, the experts, took this project very seriously, and so did the production company. They were quite clever, in fact, during casting and did not reveal the actual premise until late in the process so as not to attract individuals that were not serious about this or had some other agenda (e.g. exclusively fame seeking, etc). The experts were involved in the casting to help weed out potential participants that were not genuinely looking for a real marriage-- one that would last. I personally performed an intense battery of psychological tests on all the participants to inform my recommendations for matches. These assessment instruments primarily evaluate components of personality, but also include measures called %u201CValidity Scales%u201D that provide powerful information about the authenticity and sincerity of those being assessed. My research yielded approximately 80-100 pages of hard data on each participant, and I interpreted and analyzed that data for close to 400 hours to examine potential compatibilities and complementarities of personality traits of all possible combinations of potential participants. These instruments require doctoral level training and licensure to even access. They are serious and powerful instruments that have decades of clinical research supporting their validity and reliability. So, yes, I consider this %u201Cscientific.%u201D I certainly respect and appreciate that many people will have strong (and negative) opinions about this. However, I am very interested to know their opinions AFTER they watch the show. My hope is that %u201CMarried at First Sight%u201D will make people think more seriously and carefully about what makes a real marriage work, and why marriage today in the United States today, fraught with high divorce rates and infidelity, seems to be such a disaster.