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Siren Quotes

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Xander: You got yourself into this mess. You just gotta find a way to earn that money back.
Calvin: How? I can barely pay my own bills.
Xander: I don't know. Maybe get a boring shitty job like the rest of us. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a mess in the men's room that I have to clean up.

Calvin: I'm taking your advice and looking for jobs - legit ones.
Xander: Anything good?
Calvin: Sous chef.
Xander: Dude, you barely know how to use a knife and fork.
Calvin: Ugh, requires culinary school. Oh, here's a good one - deputy sheriff. Good pay, good benefits. Shit, no DUIs.
Xander: I told you prom night would bite you in the ass.
Calvin: Why is this so hard? I just want minimal hours, maximum capital, and no one to answer to.
Xander: You should just run for president. I hear there's going to be an opening.
Calvin: Yeah, I'd be good too.

Helen: We're not waiting for [Beth] to call back. We need to get in here.
Rick: So what do you want to do? Break in?
Helen: No, we'll use a key.
Rick: How do you know there's a key?
Helen: It's the suburbs. There's always a key.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Officer: There are openings all over the state for troopers, transit, sheriff departments. Clallam and Jefferson counties, obviously always looking for marine unit recruits.
Xander: No thank you.
Cami: You don't like the water?
Xander: I want to be as far away from it as I can.
Cami: Didn't you say you worked on a fishing boat?
Xander: If you grow up in the circus, that doesn't make you a clown.

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Robb: Would you want to go with me to do a gyre cleanup?
Maddie: Did you just invite me on a date to a garbage pile?

Xander: I like to coast through life on my good looks.

Cami: Are you turning your back on a free drink?
Xander: I'm a man of mystery. What can I say?

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Helen: What a mess.
Xander: Yeah, what else is new?
Helen: I'll tell you what else is new. You're cleaning up the mess instead of making it.

Caroline: Ironic to think he wanted so badly to bring a pure blood into the world and then was killed by one.
Helen: He was a fanatic. That generally leads one to dark ends.

Caroline: Are we sure he can be trusted?
Helen: Xander? Yes. I wouldn't have brought hm otherwise.
Xander: Yo, you worried about something?
Caroline: Yes, actually. This is a very private community. We're extremely careful about who knows about us and our practices.
Xander: Seriously? I just delivered your friiend's dead body to your front door, which I'm pretty sure is, like, I don't know, a federal offense so trust me, I'm not telling anybody about this.

Ben: Hey, uh...
Robb: Robb.
Ben: Right. With two Bs.
Robb: Right. Ben, right?
Ben: Yeah, just one B.

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Brennan: The last thing this world needs is more drunk ass fishermen.
Xander: You heard me say that to Calvin?
Brennan: Power of inclusive listening, chapter five.

Ryn: What's this?
Helen: It's a diaper.
Ryn: It smells good. Like candy.
Ben: Yeah, not for long.
Maddie: You put this bit under her bottom and then when there's pee or poo, the diaper catches it.
Ryn: She keeps it with her? In her clothes?
Maddie: You can change it.
Ryn: I will tell her to use the toilet.

Xander: Wow, this is her? What's her name?
Ryn: Baby.

Xander: Wait, you get a shot because I passed my exam?
Calvin: Yeah, celebration by association!
Janine: Congratulations, Xander. Having never passed an exam in high school, the odds were with you.

Xander: Last I checked, today was Friday which means we've got two days to be whatever kind of idiots we want.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Calvin: What do you think, man? Classic fit or modern?
Xander: I don't know, man. What makes it modern?
Calvin: Xan, come on! It's more tailored. Next, lapel - notched or peak. And then you choose the vents - side vents, center vent, no vents. Countless combinations. And we haven't even gotten to color or material.
Xander: You definitely were not a menswear expert like two weeks ago. I mean, you popped the question to Janine in a beanie.
Calvin: I've been reading up. Janine wants the wedding's theme to be beachy elegance and this is the one choice she's letting me make. It's a lot of pressure.
Xander: Come here. Close your eyes. You're standing in front of Janine about to say your vows. Now look down. What kind of suit are you wearing?
Calvin: Light grey linen, classic cut, notched lapel, center vent.

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Maeda: What's your relationship to Mr. Pownall?
Xander: We're not really into labels.

Restaurant guy: What's all this [oil] for anyway?
Ryn: Oil helps females become male.
Restaurant guy: Alrighty then.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Calvin: Whew, ten centerpieces!
Janine: These are carnations. I ordered ranunculus. You didn't check?
Calvin: I thought I did.
Janine: Return to sender.
Calvin: Baby, no, no, no. We're one day out (from the wedding). These are so pretty. Guys, aren't these pretty?
Xander: Gorgeous.
Ben: Beautiful.
Janine: Idiots. Let's get a lady's opinion.
Ryn: It looks like red seaweed.

Xander: When I went to go get Chris, I found something at the facility.
Helen: Oh, Xander. It isn't...Donna?
Xander: I hope so. Otherwise I just violated like nine federal laws.

Calvin: You look amazing.
Janine: You look sober. You are sober, right?
[Xander gives a thumbs up behind Calvin's back]

Jerry: I asked some of your loved ones for tips on how marriages survive. Janine's grandmother says it was Schnapps with dinner and often with lunch. Calvin's dad reports that he had to learn that marriage isn't about winning arguments. It's about losing arguments to a woman much smarter than you. 

Maddie: How are you holding up?
Ben: Open bar heals all wounds.

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Ben: How much have you told the government about what's going on?
Maeda: The president's been briefed.
Ben: You told him who [Tia] is?
Maeda: He knows she's a terrorist. That's all.
Anderson: We don't need him tweeting that shit.

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