Jessica Jones Quotes

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jeri: I also received a call from Spheeris' attorney. Spheeris claims you, and I quote, "lifted his car overhead and threatened him with your laser eyes."
Jessica: Pathetic.
Jeri: Did you threaten him?
Jessica: Yup, with my laser eyes. And he believed that bullshit. I could have said my hands were blenders. Clearly, there's no IQ test for owning a strip club.

Gina: My marriage is over. We don't even do oral anymore.

Jessica: You know why I live alone?
Neighbor: People don't like you?

Jessica: Excuse me?
Nurse: Sorry, I got a fecal situation in 602.
Jessica: This is my first day. I can't mess it up. Dr. Carter already hates me.
Nurse: Dr. Carter?
Jessica: He's the new Head of Oncology. Please.
Nurse: Well, just... Ugh, make it quick.
Jessica: It's this computer system. It's nothing like my old hospital.
Nurse: Where are you from?
Jessica: Seattle Grace.
Nurse: Like on TV?

Jessica: Omigawd, you're relentless.
Trish: Well, I take that as a compliment.
Jessica: Then you heard it wrong.
Trish: Okay, try this. "Thanks, Trish, for fixing my door. It was very thoughtful of you, given there's a maniac on the loose."

Jessica: Yoga's not exercising. It's stretching.

Edited October 2, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: So just how unbreakable are you?
Luke: On a scale from "I don't know" to "I'd rather not find out."

Luke: So what else can you do? Can you punch through a wall? Can you stop a moving car?
Jessica: A slow moving car.
Luke: Can you fly?
Jessica: It's more like jumping and then falling.

Jessica: Do you know any drug dealers?
Luke: I own a bar in Hell's Kitchen. What do you think?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jeri: You know who people hate more than litigators? Puppy killers.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Manager: What do you want?
Jessica: The same thing as you.
Manager: For you to quit?
Jessica: Actually it's better if you fire me and give me six months' severance pay and a glowing recommendation..

Jessica: I need to update my resume. Would you put day drinking under experience or special skills?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Simpson: I can help.
Jessica: Thanks, but I don't need you.
Simpson: Uh, yeah, you do.
Trish: No, she doesn't. [to Jessica] But seriously, he could be useful.

Jessica: This is a safe house? It looks like a '70s furniture outlet.

Simpson: I borrowed it from a buddy. No rental record. Nondescript. False plates.
Trish: Your basic pedophile's kidnapping van.

Trish: Fine, be the naked superhero. That can be your alias.
Jessica: Well, it's better than the name you came up with.
Trish: Jewel is a great superhero name.
Jessica: Jewel is a stripper's name, a really slutty stripper. And if I wear that thing, you're gonna have to call me Cameltoe.

Simpson: If anyone walks up, just pretend to be on the phone. Do not engage.
Jessica: She's a celebrity She's used to dealing with weirdos. [looks at Simpson] Usually.
Simpson: Yeah, well, she's dealt with you all these years, so...
Trish: Okay, let's go back to tense silence, I think.

Jessica: If Kilgrave gets me-
Simpson: I'll take you out.
Jessica: I was gonna say, "Dart gun me." But sure, shoot me in the head.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Luke: Are you high?
Malcolm: I wish.

Jeri: Were you just rude to Pam?
Jessica: I'm rude to everyone.

Jessica: I prefer repression.
Malcolm: And self medication.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: Jazzercise?
Malcolm: Running actually helps with sobriety.
Jessica: Sobriety blows.

Robin: [Jessica]'s a sexual predator! [Ruben]'s just a boy!
Malcolm: In his 20s.

Trish: Just let us handle it until-
Jessica: Until what? Until I come home and find my landlady choked out in my bathtub? Or I find you bludgeoned to death with my vacuum cleaner?
Trish: We both know you don't own a vacuum cleaner.

Kilgrave: I'm new to love but I know what it looks like. I do watch television.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: I will not stay in a house with slaves.
Kilgrave: Oh, now you're just being sanctimonious. Tell Jessica whether or not you are happy with your salary.
Laurent: Absolutely. I make twice as much as my last job, from which I was fired due to a drinking problem.
Kilgrave: See? Some of us give people a second chance.

Kilgrave: How do you people live like this? Day after day, just hoping people are gonna do what you want. It's unbearable.

Jessica: I'll be having a liquid dinner. Another bottle, please.
Kilgrave: You ever think you might drink too much?
Jessica: It's the only way I get through my goddamn days after what you did to me.
Kilgrave: You blame me for your drinking problem?
Jessica: It's the truth.
Kilgrave: Come on, it wasn't all bad. I mean, certainly it ended roughly.
Jessica: You call making me murder a woman "ending roughly"?

Kilgrave: You knew [the bomb] was here?
Jessica: Lucky guess.
Kilgrave: Well, my lucky guess is that it was Trish's missing Officer Simpson. He would have killed sweet little Alva and Laurent, too.
Jessica: You've killed more people as an afterthought.
Kilgrave: I've never killed anyone.
Jessica: You use your powers to compel murder.
Kilgrave: Oh, to-may-to, to-mah-to.

Jessica: I just can't handle another death on my conscience. Even if it's yours. You'd know the feeling if you had a conscience.
Kilgrave: I have a conscience. It's... just more selective. I care if you die. The rest are fungible.

Wendy: I built everything around you. And now you're not there. You have Pam, and I have nothing.
Jeri: I'm sorry.
Wendy: Well, I'm going to have to ask you to say that with cash.

Police officer: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
Kilgrave: We can go about our business. Move along.
Police officer: Move along.
Jessica: Obi-Wan Kenobi?
Kilgrave: But cooler.

Jessica: You can't kill him.
Kilgrave: No, but he can kill himself. The man's clearly insane. He is never gonna be a productive member of society.
Jessica: That is not for you to decide.
Kilgrave: He will go to prison and feed off the tit of the taxpayers.
Jessica: You've never paid a goddamn tax in your life.
Kilgrave: Fair enough. All right.
 

Edited October 21, 2016 by The Crazed Spruce
Removed link to quote site

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Client: There are lizards wearing human skins and taking over the government. You have to stop the dinosaur people. They already got Jay-Z.

Malcolm: I say we find the adopted son.
Jessica: Nope.
Malcolm: We can afford to take a pro bono case.
Jessica: That will just attract more sob stories and nut jobs.
Malcolm: Meaning people in pain who actually need our help.
Jessica: Let it get personal and the whole case goes to shit. A good PI needs objectivity. Take the case. Take the clues. Take the cash.  What are you doing? 
Malcolm: I'm writing that down. It was pithy.
Jessica: That wasn't a lesson.
Malcolm: Of course, cause why would you help me get better at my job?
Jessica: It's MY job.
Malcolm: So fire me for trying to build something with you.
Jessica: I keep trying to fire you, but you keep not being fired.

Malcolm: Risk management? 
Jessica: It's a more pretentious name for a PI.

Pryce: You might want to hear the offer before you piss on it.
Jessica: You don't want me. You just want to eliminate the competition.
Pryce: I never take no for an answer. 
Jessica: How rapey of you.
Pryce: I can't have you siphon off my clientele. 
Jessica: I don't want your idiot clients. I don't want most of my own.

Jessica: I have a new pro bono case.
Malcolm: Who's the client?
Jessica: Me.

Jeri: "Pretty good for a girl." I heard that a lot as a kid. Then I became a successful female attorney. Read: pretty good for a girl. But today, I see a sisterhood of founding partners. I see excellent lawyers who are stronger because we wouldn't stand for being pretty good. I see mentors raising the next generation of women, who, one day, will stand with us on a day like this, and see what we see: women in power.

Trish: I'm working on something new.
Ian: Medical experiment, shadow corp?
Trish: You can say IGH, Ian. They're not Voldemort. 
Ian: But they're all fiction.

Jessica: What is this? Crap on Jessica Day?
Trish: That's next month.

Trish: Jess, you're not a killer.
Jessica: I've killed. Ergo, I'm a killer. I don't even know what ergo means, but it sounded right.

Jessica: Why are you dressed like that?
Trish: Uh, we were on our way to a charity event when you called. 
Jessica: Shit. Sorry.
Griffin: Hey, don't be. There's just a bunch of illiterate kids waiting on us. What? Jess likes my black humor.

Assistant: I tried to reschedule. Your doctor won't move the appointment.
Jeri: Well, did you remind her that she owed me a favor?
Assistant: I emailed her assistant.
Jeri: Okay. Pick up an actual phone, remind her, and reschedule.

Jessica: I thought the Whizzer was just a wacko. I mean, who has a pet mongoose?

Edited March 10, 2018 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Bartender: You drinking to remember or forget?

Douchebro: Wait, I'm so close.
Jessica: That makes one of us.

Trish: Sorry, I just I'm a little on edge. My mother does that to me.
Griffin: Your mother's a riot. And by riot, I mean soul-crushing python.

Dorothy: Sit.
Griffin: I actually just came by to say hi and make out with your daughter.
Dorothy: Well, that's not fair. What about me? 
Griffin: You know, I've seen that French film and I think we're gonna keep it A and B.

Dorothy: Careful, my darling. Your desperation is showing. 
Trish: I'm not desperate. 
Dorothy: Well, you should be.

Jessica: I said I wouldn't hit a guy in a wheelchair, but you're not in a wheelchair now.

Costa: Victim's name was Robert Coleman. Ever heard of him?
Jessica: He came to me. He wanted to hire me, but I was booked.
Costa: How shitty must you feel? Guy comes to you for help and winds up dead around the corner from you.
Jessica: I had nothing to do with it. Or him.
Sunday: Did you know he filed a police report claiming that someone was trying to kill him?
Jessica: How shitty must you feel?

Whizzer: You're always saying how powers are good, but you were wrong. With great power comes great mental illness.

Jeri: Do you believe in karma?
Sheena: You mean, like, bad shit happening to bad people?
Jeri: Mmm hmm.
Sheena: Nah I know too many bad people doing just fine.

Trish: If anyone asks, you're a PA. Production assistant. Just like what you do for Jessica, except on a movie set. 
Malcolm: You mean, getting yelled at and ignored?

Jessica: What did I ever do to you besides move your ugly fridge?

Jessica: Who was this guy talking to? Alien conspiracy sites, comic book fan clubs, Friends of Mongooses International, Trish?

Griffin: Now [Trish]'s in trouble. 
Jessica: Why do you think that? 
Griffin: My balls are tingling.
Jessica: There's medication for that.
Griffin: In my line of work, you learn to trust your instincts.
Jessica: Griffin, why don't you go home? She might be there.
Griffin: Don't manage me, okay? I know she's in trouble. 
Jessica: Because of your scroty sense?

Jessica: Tell me what you're up to, you toxic waste of space.
Dorothy: Living in the present, hon. You should try it sometime.

Jessica: What did she want from you?
Dorothy: Maximilian Tatum's contact information.
Jessica: How could you let her get anywhere near that pervert?
Dorothy: "Let her"? Please. But I trust him with her more than I trust you.

Simpson: It takes a monster to stop a monster.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Trish: We're the only ones who even know Simpson's gone. He didn't have any family. 
Jessica: Well, IGH does have a type.

Jessica: Can I have another pillow?
Trish: You have seven pillows.

Dr. Tiboldt: As you exhale, I want you to imagine a safe place. Somewhere peaceful, calming. In your safe place, there is a door. Picture that door. Move toward it. Now, open that door. Open it and move toward your memories.
Jessica: I don't have a safe place. 
Tiboldt: Patients often choose a stretch of beach.
Jessica: Yeah, no. 
Tiboldt: Or their childhood home.
Jessica: Uh-uh. 
Tiboldt: All right. Where do you go to relax?
Jessica: Rudy's. 9th and 45th. Solid pours and they got free hot dogs.

Jeri: This is about Pam's lawsuit. Isn't it? I made it go away. What more do you want?
Linda: A little morality. 
Jeri: Oh, please. 
Benowitz: Let's keep this professional, okay?
Jeri: My name is coming off that door over my dead body. And that is not gonna happen soon, no matter how hard you wish for it.

Malcolm: We are so screwed.
Jessica: I'm evicted? Says who?
Malcolm: The super. Did you know it's illegal to run a commercial business out of a residential-zone property?
Jessica: Of course I did.

Malcolm: What are you gonna do? 
Jessica: I'm gonna handle it.
Malcolm: He'll never come around if you throw a fist in his face.
Jessica: That has not been my experience.
Malcolm: Time to update the resume.

Jessica: What is this shit?
Vido: Whoa! Pa, she said "shit"!
Oscar: Watch your mouth around my kid.
Jessica: Oh, like his bigoted father is some shining role model?
Oscar: You're breaking the law.
Jessica: You were all smiles, checking out the neighbor until you saw that I was different. That's called prejudice.
Oscar: You're not a protected class.

Franklin: You're gonna need people. No one goes through something like this alone.
Jeri: Well, allow me to be the first to try.

Trish: I love [Griffin], you know. Probably means he has a pornography addiction or a secret family in Iowa.
Jessica: Iowa?
Trish: Yeah, secret families are always stashed in flyover states.

Malcolm: Now, I've heard that you're a very reasonable man.
Eugene: Who said I was reasonable?
Malcolm: You have a stellar reputation, sir, in the building.
Eugene: Ms. Jones didn't say I was reasonable. She said I was an "entitled prick of a slumlord." That's a quote.

Malcolm: Next time you plan to objectify me, at least tell me first.
Jessica: That's not really how objectification works.

Oscar: You're one phone call away from jail.
Jessica: I'm not the one on parole.
Oscar: You looked into me?
Jessica: Alias Investigations. It says it right there on the door to my illegal business.

Jessica: I didn't know you were on parole when I brought the cops here. All right? I'm not an asshole.
Oscar: No? What kind of person takes advantage of a little kid's fantasies to get inside someone's apartment?
Jessica: I figured he'd be asleep.
Oscar: That's your excuse?

Griffin: Is okra a euphemism for sex?

Jeri: Never been to your place of business.
Jessica: Bucket list complete.
Jeri: I was hoping you'd see this, my trek across town, the ride in that urinal of an elevator, as an olive branch.

Trish: I am gonna go and meet the person who says she's Dr. Hansen. 
Jessica: No, you're not.
Trish: I don't need your permission.
Jessica: You saw what happened to Simpson.
Trish: This is our case.
Jessica: Then we should have discussed whether or not you go on the air and say, "Hey, IGH, I'm over here. Kill me."

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Malcolm: So how was anger management?
Jessica: Still angry.

Trish: Don't be mad at Malcolm.
Jessica: I'm always mad at Malcolm.

Jessica: I'm busy.
Vido: With superhero stuff? Are you fighting crime? Can you teach me superpowers? I'm strong. Can you push a building over? Are you bulletproof? How'd you get your superpowers? Are you an alien? Can you fly?

Griffin: That was insanity.
Trish: Well, it comes with the Patsy package. 
Griffin: Comes with the Jessica package. 
Trish: That is a combo package.

Jeri: Let it go. There's enough work for both of you.
Pryce: I'm not gonna compete with a freak show.
Jeri: Oh, gawd. You got beat by a girl. Deal with it.

Jeri: I'm asking if you have anything on Chao and Benowitz.
Jessica: I have life and death issues I'm dealing with over here.
Jeri: So do I.
Jessica: Well, I was looking over their expense accounts.
Jeri: You'll have to dig deep because my partners do not make stupid mistakes.
Jessica: I mean, Chao did charge a safari on company dime.
Jeri: Client gift.
Jessica: Benowitz has $400 on sushi. $2,000 on Broadway tickets.
Jeri: Mmm-hmm. Other client gifts.
Jessica: Jesus. He even spent 700 bucks on chocolate bars. Dude, where were my gifts when I was a client?
Jeri: You were pro bono. My time was your gift, which I don't have anymore.

Trish: I've had such shitty taste in men.
Griffin: Thank you?

Trish: Are you looking for reassurance?
Griffin: Never underestimate the neediness of the male ego.

Trish: My last five shrinks would say it's about needing the love of my mother. I could give a dissertation on narcissism at this point.

Oscar: Okay, so, for the record I don't have a problem with people like you. It was just you.
Jessica: Okay. Thanks.

Jessica: Your ex is a piece of work.
Oscar: We grew up together, you know? She used to be cool.
Jessica: Nasty doesn't just come out of nowhere.

Oscar: So how is it you are who you are? Hmm? Super?
Jessica: We prefer gifted.
Oscar: Really?
Jessica: I really couldn't possibly give less of a shit. But that's always the question. "What are you?" "How did you end up like this?" And, "Are you gonna kill me?"
Oscar: People actually ask you that?
Jessica: It comes up.

Jeri: There is a killer inside of me, and I will not give it control.

Pryce: I'll crack open the Macallan when you get here, bud.
Nick: The 18 or the 25? I got standards.
Pryce: Yeah? Since when?
Nick: I buy nice stuff. I just don't share it with you.
Pryce: The last scotch you bought came in a plastic container.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jeri: [The police] believe you know things you're not telling them.
Jessica: Yeah, it's called professional discretion.
Jeri: They will call it obstruction of justice. It's a probation violation.

Jessica: I'm not mad at you.
Malcolm: Have they got you on sedatives?
Jessica: No, I'm just trying something new. Apparently, I'm alienating.

Jeri: Your paranoia is exhausting.

Pryce: You're a killer.
Jessica: Not today, I'm not. Today I'm free. Do you know why? No, cause you're a shitty investigator. So go talk to the cops, go steal someone else's cases. You know what? Go beat off in the corner, because I don't give a dead moose's last shit. I'm gonna find the actual killer.

Jessica: You get Inez to Jeri Hogarth at this address. Tell her you're my associate.
Malcolm: Wait, did you just promote me?
Jessica: Maybe. 
Malcolm: Does it come with a raise? 
Jessica: No. Get going.
Malcolm: Whatever you say, associate.
Jessica: I'm instantly regretting this.

Malcolm: Look, I am not the person that you need to be running from right now. I'm just trying to get you someplace safe.
Inez: Yeah, that last place was real safe - except for the homicide out front.

Oscar :I don't think the woman that saved Vido's life is capable of murder. I still owe you for that.
Jessica: About that. I may need to collect.
Oscar :How about dinner?
Jessica: Like a date?
Oscar: Or just dinner? Or do you have something else in mind? 
Jessica: Let's say, hypothetically, I needed to get into a secure psych ward. 
Oscar: You want me to commit you? 
Jessica: As a therapist.

Griffin: What do you say, Trish Walker? I'm asking you to marry me. 
Trish: Thank you.
Griffin: "Thank you" means yes, right?

Jeri: You work for Jessica.
Malcolm: I'm her associate, Malcolm Ducasse.
Jeri: I didn't realize that Jessica had associates.
Malcolm: Well, I just got promoted. This is Inez.
Jeri: Please come in.
Inez: Hell of an upgrade from the last armpit I was staying in.
Malcolm: Just keep an eye on your TV. You take care of yourself, Inez.
Inez: You're the worst kind of person. You pretend to care but you're not about helping anybody except yourself.
Jeri: Sounds like Jessica's people skills are rubbing off on you. That's a good thing. I don't pay her to be popular.

Jessica: I gotta work. 
Oscar: What work? It's late.
Jessica: I think and I drink. It's a whole process.
Oscar: Well, let me get you started.
Jessica: Spañada?
Oscar: It's like sangria. Mama's favorite. Gets better after the third glass.
Jessica: It's actually the first thing I got drunk on. My parents used to keep it around the house.
Oscar: My first was rum. Killed mojitos for me.

Jessica: Fun fact - when an octopus is attacked, it ditches its wounded arm and just swims away. It's better to let things go before they drag you under.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: Love isn't for the weak-hearted. It's for idiots. And murderers apparently. A wedding ring? So the creep and the maniac have found happiness together. Guess there's someone for everyone.

Jessica: There's a saying in my business: "Where there's an ex, there's always a why."

Oscar: Why are you really here, Jessica?
Jessica: I was too lazy to walk to the liquor store.

Malcolm: Morning. 
Jessica: What is that supposed to mean? 
Malcolm: I just said good morning. It doesn't take a PI or even a PI's associate to recognize a walk of shame. You left your phone here last night, you've got serious bedhead going on, and you're covered in paint. Banging the super, huh?
Jessica: How about you use some of those skills I've taught you to do something useful?
Malcolm: How about this? You thought that this ring was a wedding band, didn't you? It's not. It's a university class ring. I recognized it.
Jessica: From the university you got kicked out of.
Malcolm: They put me on academic probation so technically, I dropped out.

Jeri: Glad to see you're enjoying my gold-leaf truffles from Switzerland.
Inez: Ah, that's why they taste like rusty nails.
Jeri: Says the homeless woman who asked for a $100 T-shirt with holes in it.
Inez: It's distressed.

Jessica: If you want to yell or hug it out, I'm here.
Trish: Can we just focus on something else for a couple hours?
Jessica: Fine by me. I can repress feelings all day.

Jessica: Look, fish were hurt. People were terrorized.

Jessica: Dude has to drug her to get her into the car? Where's the romance?

Trish: You don't think he's controlling her, do you?
Jessica: A powered woman used as a weapon? Déjà vu sucks ass.

Jeri: I am done babysitting your homeless woman. She is filthy. She's a slob. She's manipulative.
Jessica: You're calling someone manipulative?

Trish: That looks more like a cast member from Hair than a scientist. Are you sure that's him?

Trish: You know, Malcolm, you're doing a really good job. The private investigator thing suits you.
Malcolm: Thanks. I'm still learning, but-
Trish: I'm sure Jessica would tell you she appreciates you if she wasn't, you know, Jessica.

Trish: Encouraging people increases productivity, and it strengthens loyalty. You might want to try it some time before he quits on you.

Trish: How did you know he was going to be at the club?
Jessica: It's Sunday. What else do rich assholes with private golf club memberships do? Let's go hit some balls.

Ambrose: I'm taking a mulligan on that putt by the way.
Jessica: I don't care what that means.

Ambrose: Spray tanning and open-toed shoes - they've killed the hosiery market.

Jessica: The line keeps moving and I keep stepping over it How far is too far? And will there ever be a way back?

Edited March 19, 2018 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Trish: You know, you could pretend at least. To like the video?
Jessica: Hearing it at 200 decibels doesn't improve the song.
Trish: That's so mean.
Jessica: I just I've just heard it too many times.
Trish: Well, if you don't have any nice words I mean, anything nice to say, just you know, lie.
Jessica: It got the It's Patsy theme song out of my head, so there's that.

Kourtney: You having fun?
Jessica: I'm having bourbon.

Guy: Champagne?
Jessica: I don't do bubbly.
Guy: That chick's bitter. I'm into it.

Jessica: Look, there are a thousand bars where you can get a highball.
Dorothy: I am here to support my client.
Jessica: You haven't been Trish's agent in years.
Dorothy: I'm talking about Kourtney, her backup dancer. Voice like an angel.
Jessica: After auto-tuning, of course.

Jessica: Is snake charmer on your resume?
Stirling: I can handle a little venom. You should see some of the assholes who come in here.
Jessica: Fair warning, I'm one of those assholes.

Karl: You still have too many side effects from the procedures
Alisa: Experiments. Let's call a spade a spade.

Stirling: You do have a middle name, right?
Jessica: It's private.
Stirling: What happens if you were kidnapped? How would I alert the media if I don't know your middle name?
Jessica: I will alert the media when I hang the kidnappers by their nut sacks.

Jessica: We don't need [Trish]. We can get money whenever we want. We can have anything. A club, a car, a pony.
Stirling: You want to steal me a pony? 
Jessica: Yeah, with an annoyingly cute name.

Stirling: How is two orders of orange chicken a snack?
Jessica: Because anything after midnight is considered a snack.

Jessica: The cops arrested those guys that were harassing him. They saw them leave the bar with him.
Trish: Would've felt better to kick their asses yourself.
Jessica: I did kick their asses. Maybe that's why they did this to him.
Trish: Jess, they did this because they're murderers.

Jessica: I've been calling you for 24 hours. Where were you? 
Trish: I was rehearsing for my tour. 
Jessica: You were high.
Trish: They're not mutually exclusive.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: I guess gene editing didn't improve your taste in booze.
Alisa: Oh, yeah. The first time we left you alone to babysit Phillip, you drank half a bottle. Came home to find you hugging the toilet.
Jessica: Because it tastes like compost and air freshener.

Jessica: You have no clue who I am or what I've been through. I just look like someone you used to know.

Alisa: Remember when he got suspended? Your father wanted to put him on ADD meds.
Jessica: Phillip had ADD?
Alisa: Every kid with a pulse has ADD according to the pharmaceutical companies. Karl always gets worked up about that. The overmedication of children.
Jessica: Yeah, why medicate kids when you can alter their entire genetic code?
Alisa: Don't.
Jessica: Karl experiments on people who can't give consent.

Alisa: You locked yourself in your room all day, playing depressing rock.
Jessica: Nirvana isn't depressing.
Alisa: Oh, really? Didn't that guy commit suicide?

Jessica: Well, there were parts of it that seemed pretty perfect to me. Christmases. Thanksgiving. That weird marshmallow thing you made with yams.
Alisa: Yeah. Not even I can ruin what is essentially a vat of marshmallows, butter, and sugar.

Alisa: Teenagers are self-absorbed little assholes.

Alisa: He's texting and driving.
Jessica: That's what people do.
Alisa: No, what they do is maim and kill people when they get into accidents. You know better, I hope.
Jessica: I don't drive period so it's not really a problem.

Taxi driver: Don't get your panties in a bunch.
Alisa: Our panties? Grown goddamn women don't wear panties. We wear underwear!

Alisa: You really rejected your suburban roots, huh?
Jessica: I never really took to words like davenport or duvet.

Jessica: There's no manual that tells you what to do when your mother who's been dead for seventeen years comes back and is a mass murderer. I'm kinda winging it.

Alisa: I like the painting. Is that not okay with you? He seemed nice.
Jessica: He is a convicted criminal.
Alisa: No wonder I like him.

Alisa: Calm down, Jessica.
Jessica: Oh, great! The rage monster is telling me to calm down!

Jessica: Why would you waste perfectly good whiskey like that?
Alisa: You don't like hot toddies either? Maybe you're not my daughter.

Edited March 19, 2018 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Alisa: I can finish this.
Jessica: You want to kill [Pryce].
Alisa: No, I don't want to. But I should.

Alisa: Kidnapping. All you, by the way. We're both in this now.
Jessica: No, we're in some shit, but I'm not in anything with you.
Alisa: I just don't want my kid to go to prison.
Jessica: Well, I don't want my mother to murder anyone else.

Alisa: Karl usually does [my chains at night] for me.
Jessica: How romantic.

Jeri: Have you ever been to Tokyo?
Inez: Between nursing school and being homeless? Haven't really had the chance.

Jessica: That thing about having your cake and eating it, too? Whoever said that probably didn't have cake that killed people.

Jessica: Are you high?
Trish: Are you drunk?
Jessica: I'm always drunk. But I'm not blind, and I know you.

Inez: I thought people who only wear black do that so they don't have to decide what to wear.
Jeri: I like to have choices.
Inez: Have you ever worn yellow? 
Jeri: Not in very, very a long time.
Inez: To prom? Please say to prom. 
Jeri: To a funeral, when I was eight.

Alisa: This is a sad excuse for breakfast spaghetti, but it's edible.
Jessica: Is this butter and jam?
Alisa: What? You used to love this. Just eat your spaghetti.

Shane: I need you to stop at a Chik-Fil-A.
Jeri: A what?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: You single handedly almost took down IGH with a Patsy wig and a cell phone. How much more of a badass do you need to be?
Trish: You know the answer to that.

Malcolm: There's a hole in your soul, just like there's a hole in mine, so let's not use each other to fill it.
Trish: We're still friends, right?
Malcolm: I don't think so.

Jessica: How come you never told me any of this?
Inez: I didn't trust you. Turns out I was right.

Alisa: We went on our first beach vacation when you were 12. Do you remember? It was so nice to get away from my life for a while. Remember where we stayed?
Jessica: Yeah, that weird hotel where all the rooms had love themes.
Alisa: Mmm, the theme was prostitution.
Jessica: It was a hooker hotel?
Alisa: It was cheap. It was two minutes from the water. You loved it. You always were a romantic.

Karl: I married her. Here. In this room.
Jessica: She was legally dead, so I'm guessing that wasn't official.

Alisa: Is that your real hair color, or is it from a bottle? 
Trish: Both.

Jessica: I get back to my life.
Oscar: What does that look like?
Jessica: Drinking. Sleeping. Taking pictures of people cheating. It's all very glamorous.

Jeri: I didn't expect a happy dance, but a little gratitude would be nice.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Kilgrave: Mummy's going to go insane. Well, more insane.

Kilgrave: Never trust a junkie, especially a self-righteous one.

Kilgrave: You murdered Dale.
Jessica: It was self-defense, dickwad.
Kilgrave: Don't deny it. Own it. He was a twisted, sadistic shithead who deserved it.
Jessica: Like you?
Kilgrave: Yes! Just like me! Murdering me was as poetic as justice ever gets! You got your mother locked up so you were the reason that she was being tortured by Dale. You solved that problem. You helped your mummy. It's what you do, isn't it? You help people.

Kilgrave: We should sign you up [for a dating website]. You can be JJ. Five-foot-nine, athletic. Enjoys leather in all seasons, justifiable homicide, and long walks on the beach to dump the body.
Jessica: And you could be KK. Bony translucent Brit. Enjoys rape. Also dead.

Trish: Where were you going to run?
Karl: Who's running?
Trish: With your new passports. Where were you running?
Karl: Uruguay.
Trish: Lot of cutting edge science in Uruguay?
Karl: Hardly.
Trish: So you were just going to go there and you were going to read? Garden? Learn basket weaving? Or you'll just sit, smoke, wait to die alone?
Karl: You already have me at gunpoint. You don't have to crush my soul as well.

Karl: Took me a long time to feel comfortable around the ocean. Alisa: Why? 
Karl: Uh, nearly drowned on a family vacation.
Alisa: So what made you go back in?
Karl: Some of my colleagues had a theory that needed to be tested at sea. I wanted to help, so I put on a life jacket.
Alisa: Noble of you.
Karl: Not really. They were paying for the research, and I was low on grass.
Alisa: Well it's powerful, and it's unpredictable. That can be scary for some people.
Karl: Yeah, the grass can do that. 
Alisa: I meant the ocean.

Alisa: I can jump ten stories, but I can't grow hair. What kind of a lame ass power is that?

Karl: I know it's complicated. It's completely unethical.
Alisa: I'm an illegal experiment, and you're worried about ethics?

Jessica: You work for me. Your dick works for Trish.

Edited March 25, 2018 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: Chasing your dreams can be deadly, especially when a creep with a science hard-on promises to make them real.

Jessica: Go ahead. Say it. I'm the reason that she's obsessed with powers.  Getting involved with my shit was bound to get her killed.
Dorothy: Jessie, I don't blame you.
Jessica: You have for 17 years. Why stop now?

Jeri: Akoya. Triple strand. A-K-O-Y-A. Okay, how do you not know what that is? You know what? You're too stupid to own a pawn shop.

Dorothy: You're not going anywhere near her.
Jessica: What happened to "family"?
Dorothy: The police told me all about your mother. You got my baby mixed up in all this? You did this to her.
Jessica: It wasn't me who had to get in front of those cameras and tell the whole world where Trish was.
Dorothy: I didn't know the danger that you had put her in. I was trying to protect Patsy. Her brand is her legacy.
Jessica: You can't stop selling your daughter, even if it kills her.
Dorothy: I finally understand you. Like mother, like daughter. She must be so proud of the heartless monster that you grew up to be.
Jessica: My mother is brain-damaged. What's your excuse?

Trish: Where am I? 
Jessica: The morgue. 
Trish: Am I dead?

Jessica: If that insane surgery hadn't killed you, you could've ended up like my mom.
Trish: Or I could've ended up like you.
Jessica: Why would you want that? There is a reason that my biggest expense is booze.
Trish: You're right. You don't deserve powers. All you do is piss them away when you could be out there helping people.
Jessica: You know what? I am tired of being the focus of your ridiculous insecurity. I didn't ask for any of this. Not these powers and not your goddamn judgment.
Trish: You're a coward.
Jessica: What? All I do is try and save your ass.
Trish: I don't wanna be saved.
Jessica: And all you do is raise your expectations and make sure that I feel worthless.

Alisa: I'm sorry about Trish and that detective.
Jessica: Sorry isn't going to cut it. You tried to kill the most important person in my life. My best friend. My sister.

Jessica: What's the right move here? Cause I don't know.
Trish: There's only one thing you can do. You gotta put her down. You're the only one powerful enough to do it. If Karl had finished what he started-
Jessica: You aren't serious.
Trish: If I was powered, I wouldn't hesitate.
Jessica: Bullshit. How many times have you forgiven Dorothy?

Jessica: What happens to our dreams when we realize they're never going to come true? They turn into nightmares.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Dorothy: Do you accept that your life is a disaster? And that you've royally screwed up everything in it and that you're lying here in its wreckage?
Trish: I have to do something. 
Dorothy: I can think of a hundred ways in which you're special, Pats, but hero ain't one of 'em.
Trish: She needs my help.
Dorothy: And what exactly is a failed radio personality gonna do that trained law enforcement professionals and a superpowered woman can't? 
Trish: Your bedside manner blows.
Dorothy: Well, I'm only human, same as you.

Alisa: People will always feel "less than" around us. And that will make them either resent us or idealize us. Even Karl. Some days he put me on a pedestal. Others, he probably wished he never met me. Dimming our light, limping our way through life, that is not an option. Not with the gifts we have.
Jessica: If you say, "With great power comes great responsibility," I swear I'll throw up on you.

Alisa: We'd be an amazing team.
Jessica: You're not the first psychopath who's wanted to team up with me. The last time one of us ended up dead.
Alisa: You really think I'm like Kilgrave?
Jessica: Only if killing is still a viable option in your mind.

Jeri: I will leave today along with all my clients, including Rand. 
Benowicz: That's half our billable hours.
Jeri: Sixty-two percent, actually.

Alisa: Uruguay was Karl's place. We should, I don't know, go to a war zone or something.
Jessica: We have enough people gunning for us without dropping into a crossfire.
Alisa: Oh, come on. What we did back there? I want more. We could I don't know deliver supplies to needy villages. Or rescue old people.
Jessica: Do you want a unitard and a cape, too?
Alisa: Well, one, I would totally rock a unitard.

Costa: We only get one mother. That's a powerful bond, no matter how batshit crazy they might be. I think you know that.

Jessica: Stop talking to me like I'm your baby Jesus.
Alisa: Hero isn't a bad word, Jessica. It's just someone who gives a shit and does something about it.

Pryce: I was surprised to hear from you, given I still can't deadlift a car.
Jeri: Well, there are tasks for which Jessica Jones is not well-suited.

Vido: Did you save anybody today?
Jessica: Yeah. Actually, yeah, I did.
Vido: What happened? Did you have to hit someone?
Oscar: After dinner, Vido.
Vido: Oh, come on, I wanna hear it now.
Jessica: Well, I was buying whiskey at this liquor store and this guy came in, and he was all jumpy and dope-sick. And I knew he was there to rob the place. 
Vido: Because of your super sense? 
Jessica: I don't have super sense.
Oscar: Let her tell it.
Jessica: Anyway, sure enough, the guy pulled out a gun. It was a whole thing and I stopped it.
Vido: That's it?
Jessica: I may have thrown a bottle at his head. 
Vido: Cool.

[bettername2come]

3x07

Trish: I am psychologically shutting down! This is very triggering for me!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Costa: Nobody forced the case on you. I just mentioned it in passing.
Jessica: Next time, in passing, maybe mention someone worth helping.
Costa: Assholes need saving too - from bigger assholes.

Erik: I have an instinct for idiocy.

Jessica: Who says something happened?
Erik: Something always happens. Everything is terrible. Optimism is a lie. Expect the worst.
Jessica: Jesus, thanks for the pep talk.
Erik: It's reality. I accept it and proceed accordingly.
Jessica: To low expectations.

Erik: That is not a burger.
Jessica: It's meat in a bun. Burger.

Jessica: What are you, a chef?
Erik: I'm more of a motivational speaker.
Jessica: Read: con artist.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Trainer: Steroids, right? You juicing?
Trish: Kale.

Dorothy: These stools aren't built for adult butts.
Trish: But the coffee's good and you wanted to talk.
Dorothy: Over lunch, at an actual restaurant. I swear, we spent more time together when you were in a coma. 
Trish: My schedule's a little hectic.
Dorothy: Impressive, considering you don't have a job.

Trish: Steal what you can, sue for the rest. Gotta love American justice.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Doctor: The spleen - the glorious, often overlooked, but never overwhelmed, spleen protects us from all of them.
Jessica: So I'm guessing not having one is kind of a negative.
Doctor: That's what I'm trying to ex-spleen to you. After a splenectomy, normal life can resume, provided one takes precaution against an increased risk of deadly infections.
Jessica: I'll start taking a multivitamin.
Doctor: A rigorous immunization schedule, prophylactic antibiotic regimen, and, of course, a swift change in any reckless lifestyle behavior.
Jessica: And where would a liter a day of bourbon fall on the reckless scale?

Zaya: Is that blood? 
Malcolm: It's not a big deal.
Zaya: See, I don't typically piss blood so I think it's a very big deal.

Zaya: Did you get it checked out?
Malcolm: I looked it up. It's just some internal bruising. It'll pass.
Zaya: Yeah, because self diagnosis is always a good idea.

Jeri: The kale caesar is quite filling.
Kith: Talk about faint praise.

Jeri: I'm sure that teaching has its rewards.
Kith: Oh, please. You try impressing the importance of Baroque fugue analysis on a room full of millennials.

Jeri: Are you asking if I cheated on Wendy? Yeah, I cheated - with what can only be described as unabashed verve.

Jeri: Wendy, uh, she died. It was a tragic accident. So I guess it all finally caught up to me.
Kith: I'm sorry, are you implying that you're the injured party in your wife's untimely death?

Gillian: There's a Jim Shaw exhibition opening at MoMA, and I need at least two martinis before making small talk about acrylic on muslin.

Malcolm: I grabbed [the knife] before the cops got here.
Jessica: Meaning you illegally tampered with police evidence. Jeri's taught you all sorts of tricks.

Trish: Brandt was my target first. I should be the one to bring him in.
Jessica: Well, I was the one with a post-surgical drain in my gut so I'm going to have to disagree.

Jessica: You can ride this '90s parkour crap back into the fame you crave.

Trish: Should you even be out of bed?
Jessica: The liver and the lymph nodes can do everything a spleen can do. It's basically a redundant organ.

Malcolm as Darryl: I'm coming to terms with the idea that righteousness, at least the kind that they taught us, is is never absolute.
Peter: Darryl, welcome to the pliable ethics of adulthood. I can tell you it only gets more confusing from here.

Jessica: What are you doing here?
Erik: Somebody gets stabbed in the middle of a hookup, the traditional response is to check up on her.

Jessica: I'd apologize but it won't be the last time that I use your name without your permission.

Jeri: In spite of being fundamentally vulnerable and alone, I get out of bed, I go to work, and I win.
Jessica: Little hard to swallow a pep talk from a woman who begged me to snuff her.

Costa: He mentioned you and a masked woman whose face he never saw. Who's the masked hero?
Jessica: What? You think we all know each other?

Erik: You do realize a glass window on the door defeats the purpose of a dead bolt?

Edited September 16, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: The last time I doubted someone's powers, they ended up impaled by scaffolding.

Jessica: What else can you do with these powers? Besides blackmail people to support your gambling addiction.
Erik: Said with no judgement whatsoever.

Jessica: There are a lot of shitty people out there. There's no reason for us to double up. Go find your own bad guy.

Jeri: If I want to be insulted, I will call Jessica.

Erik: Our luck is changing.
Jessica: Yeah, if you set the bar at being drowned and stabbed.

Edited September 20, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Erik: Can I use your shower? My hotel shower is communal.
Gillian: Eww.

Gillian: I'll call the cops.
Jessica: And say what?
Gillian: "Hello. We found a serial killer."
Jessica: We found a guy who gives Erik headaches and photos that we obtained illegally.

Trish: I wish I didn't kill your mom.
Jessica: I wish she wasn't a mass murderer.

Edited September 20, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: I'll come down when you're ready for my official statement. 'Til then, I'll be drunk.

Sallinger: You are crippled by good looks and charm and they afford you a pride in your underfed mind. You've teamed with an arrogant alcoholic who embodies fortune over ability.

Trish: I also know how you feel about powered people. You've always resented Jessica.
Dorothy: My problem with Jessica isn't her powers. It's that's she's rude, violent, and ungrateful.
Trish: Well, there's that.

Trish: I'm sorry about the secrecy. It's a precaution.
Dorothy: Against what? You sell polyblends to the obese and homebound.

Caspar: I poured wine, made an amuse-bouche. Even when he had me in a choke hold, I thought, "Okay, we're skipping right to it." Then I woke up in the kitchen taped to a chair.
Jessica: And that didn't raise any red flags?

Sallinger: I made you cry blood. Does that happen a lot?
Erik: No.
Sallinger: And you say it's because I lack empathy, because I'm evil.
Erik: Basically.
Sallinger: Evil is the wrong word. I am asserting fairness in an unfair world. I'm vengeful without pity, appropriately cruel. Those are the things you're sensing, not evil.

Erik: Thank you.
Trish: I don't hear that very often.
Erik: It's the downside to fighting crime in a ski mask.
Trish: It's a scarf.

Edited September 20, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: How many superheroes does it take to lock up a psycho killer? More than two, apparently.

Jessica: This is what happens when you give a shit. The world flings it back at you.

Sallinger: Don't forget - you're not the only one here with a law degree.
Jeri: Oh, yeah? How many murder charges have you had thrown out of court? The only time that I have ever failed is when a client has undermined me.

Jessica: I don't know if we're friends or colleagues or if we're just sharing a foxhole, but do not make us adversaries.

Jessica: When you cozy up to maniacs, you get hurt. People around you get hurt.
Jeri: Well, even maniacs deserve due process, don't they? Or does that only apply when I'm representing you?

Jessica: There's still a way this ends with me respecting you.
Jessica: Honestly, you respecting me is not my highest priority right now.

Jessica: I'm starting to see the benefits of wearing a mask. It's probably a little late to rebrand.

Gillian: They keep asking about this other vigilante girl.
Jessica: Sallinger's a liar.
Gillian: Complete fiction. Ms. Jones doesn't like people enough to take on a partner.

Gillian: Wappinger Falls will not email or fax records. All files must be examined within the station walls. And that's a quote from a prissy bureaucratic hick clinging to her own little fiefdom.

Zaya: I once mis-sent a text about genital warts to the DA about genital warts. Not mine.

Jessica: Why do serial killers always come from small bucolic towns?
Trish: I'm not sure that's a hard and fast rule.

Jessica: I'll go get the file.
Trish: Great. Love being your chauffeur. Jessica! Be nice.
Jessica: I AM nice.

Jessica: It's on the internet so it must be true.

Malcolm: No.
Zaya: No?
Malcolm: Just no.
Zaya: I believe the phrase that you're looking for is "I have absolutely no say whatsoever in which cases you do or do not take."

Jeri: It is not our job to assess guilt or innocence.

Trish: Another fifth of bourbon won't help you turn Donny's death into a murder. 
Jessica: It's a process.

Jessica: You know, you don't have to eat that [wilted salad] shit anymore. You're powered now. Your body can process a Cheeto or two.
Trish: Yeah, I'm not a fan of anything that orange.

Trish: All I've done is play the vapid dumb blond.
Jessica: Which was helpful.
Trish: At a certain point, if 90% of your life is playing the cover, then you are the cover.
Jessica: Well, you could be out and proud and have everyone hate you. It's way fun.

Trish: You remember when it finally came out that I was an abject drug addict, four-time rehab failure?
Jessica: Unfortunately.
Trish: Actually, it was good. I could finally breathe.
Jessicac: You sobbed for three days straight and ended up in a catatonic depression.

Trish: I can't imagine what it feels like to have people look at you with hope, respect.
Jessica: Neither can I.

Gillian: Do I even know you? 
Malcolm: I'm Malcolm Ducasse.
Gillian: The old me.

Gillian: Mr. Ducasse, when you were in my position, if a man, albeit a handsome man, accosted you in the hallway, didn't apologize for your near cardiac arrest, and then forced his way into your place of work, would you hand over anything to him, much less a very sensitive investigation, just because he said, "Jessica will be relieved"? That's not exactly a notarized release form.

Malcolm: I'm gonna keep eyes on [Sallinger]. And I would like access to Jessica's background on him. But I'm in this regardless and I don't need your permission.
Trish: You'll keep us updated. Yeah, check in every hour?
Gillian: His expression says, "You're treating me like a child and it hurts my feelings."
Malcolm: It does not.

Jessica: The only thing worse than people looking at you like you're a monster is when they look at you like you're their savior.

Malcolm: What are you doing here?
Jessica: You want to get involved, expect to have your phone tracked.

Edited September 21, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Gillian: I transferred a call to your cell.
Jessica: You can do that?

Jessica: It turns out that vandalism is both fun and effective.

Dorothy: Okay, now, remember just because she asks you a question does not mean you have to answer it.
Jessica: Except it's an interview.
Dorothy: You just make it sound like you're answering it.
Trish: Right, like, "That's an interesting question."
Dorothy: Exactly. And then you set your own narrative. You want the audience to trust you, believe you? Be camera friendly.
Trish: The operative word here is "friendly."
Jessica: So I'm screwed?

Thembi: Do you have any idea why this alleged serial killer contacted you?
Jessica: Because he's a creep and an asshole, and his name is Gregory Sallinger.
Thembi: To be clear, we here at the station are not accusing Mr. Sallinger of being a serial killer.
Jessica: I am.
Thembi: He was cleared of all charges by the NYPD. Didn't he accuse you of harassment?
Jessica: If harassment means calling him out as the sick psycho that he is, yeah.

Costa: I'll be [at the station] processing all the women you terrified.

Malcolm: I saw you on the news.
Jessica: Yeah, I am out to prove that there is such a thing as bad publicity.

Edited September 21, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Gillian: This is a box. These are my things. A person of empathy might understand the intent of its pairing. The press keeps calling, asking about your crazed vigilante pal who apparently shreds people's faces with her bare hands. I quit.
Jessica: This really isn't a good time. A person of empathy would get that.

Jeri: The only thing [Kith] did wrong was marry an embezzler.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jessica: Well, I would say, "It wasn't me," but it kind of loses impact after the fiftieth time.

Jeri: I don't need you to be grateful, but don't be stubborn.

Malcolm: You want to hire me. 
Jessica: Asking or telling? 
Malcolm: Both.

Jessica: I'm not paying you Hogarth's numbers.
Malcolm: Well, neither is she. I quit.
Jessica: Got fired.
Malcolm: Both.

Malcolm: You should know, uh, working for Hogarth, I did some things, the kind that change you. You know.
Jessica: If the new you is less of a sanctimonious asshole, then it'll be an upgrade.

Jeri: "To my adopted daughter, Jessica, who has so much potential, if only she'd learn how to take advice"-
Jessica: She's talking shit in her will. 
Jeri: "I leave the remaining contents of my liquor cabinet."

Jessica: What'd you tell [the police]?
Gillian: That I'd never personally seen you murder anyone.

Jessica: Malcolm's working a case with me.
Gillian: As in freelancing? If I knew we had disposable income, I would have asked for a raise.

Erik: You want me to make my case again? I'm getting good at acting indignant and defensive.

Erik: My dad was an asshole, too. But it didn't make it any easier to bury him cause I was also burying any chance that he might miraculously turn into a different person.

Woman: Dorothy said skip couples therapy and spend the cash on a face lift and a divorce attorney.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Trish: The parenthetical says "dramatic."
Dorothy: What did I tell you about parentheticals?
Trish: Cross them out.

Trish: The breakdown says Vicki's blonde.
Dorothy: Yeah, well the show's EP is Devlin Hoskins. Hair like an orangutan. Now a cattle call is about catching someone's eye. Nothing catches the eye like a mirror.

Man: The hell you doing in here?
Trish: Was I bothering you? Because your wife beating was bothering me.

Dorothy: Who got the lead?
Trish: Carrie Leigh Hirsch. She has way more experience than me.
Dorothy: Experience is not the same thing as talent.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Erik: I'm drowning!

Sallinger: I'll walk slowly so you can catch up.

Malcolm: I'll tase [Trish] again when she wakes up.
Erik: I'm not loving how easy this is for you.

Sallinger: What the hell are you doing?
Jessica: Saving your life so I can lock you in a dark cell.

Erik: By the way, you look like a real asshole tippy toeing around here in your ninja outfit.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Luke: Jessica Jones, PI.
Jessica: Luke Cage, hero of Harlem.

Jessica: The only decision I'm qualified to make is bourbon or more bourbon.

Trish: When you protect a bad person, that makes you a bad person.

Trish: It doesn't matter how powerful I am. I'll never forget what it's like to be helpless.

Jessica: Don't try to be a hero. It's a shitty job.