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Togetherness Quotes

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  • 2 weeks later...

Alex: Wait, you're willingly going to the beach? The man who once complained about the beach because it had too much sand?


Larry: Can I get you anything? A bottle of water? Some manners?


Alex: I love you but you can be a dark dude sometimes.

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  • 11 months later...

Tina: Can't you skip [poker night]? You do it every week. Just this once?

Larry: Well, Tom's going to be there.

Tina: Who the fuck is Tom?

Larry: Tom Hanks.

Tina: Oh, him.


Sophie: Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!

Michelle: Excuse me?

Brett: Yeah, rude, hello!

Michelle: Why are you saying, "Ewwwww"?

Sophie: Because you're kissing daddy like Belle kisses the Beast at the kind of the movie.

Brett: Like this? [kisses Michelle again]

Sophie: Ewwwwwwww!

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Tina: What did [brett] eat? Did he eat vomit and then vomit up the vomit?


Alex: Can I ask a few questions?

Brett: I want to die.

Alex: Nothing deep. Just some logistics. Should I be heading back to LA proper? I'm just saying this is an all electric vehicle.


Alex: I got Vlad money.


Michelle: Thank you for taking such good care of me. And thank you for not judging me.

Tina: I'm just really excited that you're more fucked up than I am for once in our lives.

Michelle: Didn't you just total your car?


Ray: Some of this is really good art, but that's just pipes. That's just fucking pipes. You go to the Home Depot and paint it red.

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Christy: Bert. Ernie.


Michelle: Finally!

Tina: Finally? I'm less than ten minutes late.

Michelle: You're late but you still stopped at Starbucks?


Christy: I'm going to have an orgasm here in the next ten minutes, so you just let me know if you're going to be involved in that.


Alex: I really want to keep talking about Dune but I think I have to go have sex with my girlfriend.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Landlord: What are you playing? Harry Potter?

Brett & Alex: Dune.

Landlord: So this is why pretty girl left.


Brett: Found it. "I'm leaving, not that you'd notice since you live in an imaginary world with your closeted lover Brett." You might want to read the rest of that in private.


Alex: Maybe he's crying because he's a horrible person.

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EB, I have nothing to add to these right now, but I just want to thank you for doing such a good job of curating these each week as I get a good laugh out of the content in your posts all over again, and they remind me how even the not-so-top-notch episodes have some really crackling, well-delivered dialogue and humor.

  • Love 2
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Tina: This is fucking bull shit! Do you know what it's called when you get pregnant after 35? A geriatric pregnancy! And I'm not kidding. So I have a geriatric vagina?


Toby Flenderson: It's not a lie. It's Photoshop.


Tina: Frankly, you are not good looking enough to be this much of a dick.

Toby: And you're not hot enough anymore to be this much of a bitch.


Big C: Go buy a car, go buy a fucking boat, sink the boat, buy a new boat! Let's do it! Pappas!

  • Love 1
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Michelle: Stupid ass Dune.


Alex: The best they can do is get us used sand in a few months.

Brett: Well, we're going to need the sand now.

Alex: Why?

Brett: Because we're going up Saturday night.

Alex: But we're not ready and we don't have sand!

Brett: So we're going to get ready, and last time I checked there was an annoying amount of sand at the beach.

Michelle: Okay, but that sand belongs to the state of California.

Brett: What do you want? Do you want the stage to look like a crack house? Or do you want it to look like a magical mysterious learning kingdom?


Tina: What are you doing after this?

Colin: You serious? It's gonna be like 5 in the morning.

Tina: So you're free?


Alex: Do you know who I descend from? Hercules, Apollo, Ajax, Achilles, Agamemnon. Have you heard of these people? We invented everything - democracy, math, science, music, medicine. You would be fucking lucky to have my Hellenic jizz.

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