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Little Quotes Everywhere

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Elena: Everybody looks better with a tan.

Mia: I'm an artist.
Elena: Oh, yes, of course. You said that. I didn't realize you meant professionally. I feel like that's on of those ideal jobs you just see on TV like a spy or a marine biologist.

Lexie: Brian says his parents say we should say "black" now.
Elena: Well, Jesse Jackson says "African-American" and he's on television.

Elena: You do realize this whole youth orchestra costs more than all of the kids' summer activities combined. We could have gone to Nantucket for a week for what it costs and [Izzy] just takes it all for granted.
Bill: She's 14 years old, hon. Taking it for granted is kind of her job.

Elena: If you don't participate, you can't succeed.

Elena: It's not Wednesday or Saturday.
Bill: You know we are allowed to have sex on other days.
Elena: But it's so much more fun when we plan it.

Linda: I just can't wait to watch you avoid saying the word vagina for two hours straight.
Elena: Ugh, I hate that word. Can we just say Virginia?
Linda: Yeah, the Virginia Monologues.

Elena: I'm not fixating. I'm mothering.

Bill: Honey, Izzy's always been Izzy.
Elena: Isabelle. I warned you when we named her. It's not even a proper name.
Bill: We call our son Moody.
Elena: She could have called herself anything - Belle, Bella, Elle, Ella is cute.
Bill: But none of those names would have pissed you off, would they?

Bill: Why all the constant battling? I mean, really, is it because you want Izzy to be happy or because you want Izzy to be more like you?

Elena: I think maybe we could do something with layers like Rachel from Friends.
Izzy: I was thinking Drew Barrymore - Mad Love, Boys on the Side.
Elena: We can definitely have fun. We just have to take your bone structure into account.
Izzy: Drew Barrymore's fun - coke at 12, rehab at 14, flashing David Letterman at 20.

Elena: Where is the dress that I bought you last week? Put this on.
Izzy: Mom, please, just stop. It's not me.
Elena: You lost the privilege of being you when you set your hair on fire. No one wears cut off jeans to perform with the Cleveland Youth Chamber Orchestra.
Izzy: I do.
Elena: This isn't about you. That's not how the world works. There are rules and they exist for a reason. If you follow the rules, you'll succeed.
Izzy: Succeed in profiling?

Moody: The options are we have Dylan, Neil Young, and I know that one Toad the Wet Sprocket song.

Lexie: I'm going to Yale.
Pearl: Congratulations.
Moody: She hasn't even applied yet.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Pearl: How long have [Lexie and Brian] been going out?
Moody: Long enough for Lexie to have their wedding planned.

Pearl: Do you know what my mom's doing at your house?
Moody: Have you ever heard of a house manager?
Pearl: No.
Moody: Me neither.

Elena: It's not even really a book. It's a play. It's worse than a play. It's monologues.

Music teacher: Jessica, are you deliberately trying to sabotage this orchestra?

Mia: What's going on with [Bebe]?
Scott: Ugh, she barely speaks English.
Mia: You don't speak Chinese.
Scott: Dude, that shit's Mandarin.

Izzy: Fiona Apple was right. This world is bull shit.

Mia: If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?

Lexie: I think I figured out what I'm going to do for my Yale essay. It has to be about some kind of hardship that I've overcome so I decided that I'm going to write about South Pacific.
Izzy: The musical? What about it?
Lexie: How I killed myself for that audition and didn't get Nellie. But I still gave it my all in the stupid chorus.
Elena: I remember that, honey. It was very political. You know, I, for one, have a real issue with this Yale essay topic. Your father and I worked very hard your entire life to prevent you from having any hardship and now you have to go and try to drum one up.
Bill: You expect Yale to come up with a better question, right? I mean, it is Yale after all.
Elena: That's right. Exatly. I feel like they're sort of saying if you're not raised by a crack addicted mother who can barely make ends meet, what? Do you get punished for it? That's silly.
Moody: I don't think there's a lot of crackheads' daughters applying to Yale.
Elena: Exactly, that's my point, Moody. And then why put on some kind of farce? They're going to punish you because you have good parents who made good choices on your behalf?

Bebe: Everything's okay?
Pearl: Yeah, everything's great.
Bebe: No, it's not. The food here is terrible. Fake Chinese.

Lexie: Buffy not recording is not a 911. Plus it was a rerun anyway. It premieres next week.

Elena: You're eating a popsicle for breakfast?

Elena: This is complete bias. They do this to the Cleveland kids. I just read an article about this in the Plain Dealer. They try to discourage minorities from taking advanced courses.
Lexie: It's true. Half our school is black but none of them are in my classes.
Izzy: Maybe that should be your Yale essay - having to suffer through upsettingly all white APs.
Elena: I'm going to handle this.
Pearl: Oh, no, you don't have to.
Elena: Oh, I want to.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Lexie: Is this about sex?
Brian: What are you? No. But prom and homecoming are basically the same thing so-
Lexie: Okay, they are completely different. When did Brenda and Dylan have sex? It was prom night, Brian.
Brian: Um, no, actually, it wasn't. It was the spring dance.
Lexie: The spring dance and prom are the same thing. They just couldn't say that because they were juniors twice.
Brian: Which is exactly why we shouldn't use them as our sexual touchstone. That show is stupid anyway. It dosn't make any sense.

Elena: Why do they call your sister Ellen?
Moody: Like DeGeneres, mom.
Elena: Because she's funny?

Elena: I remember when I was in seventh grade and Linda got boobs and I was concave and all the boys were flirting with her and snapping her bra and I didn't have boobs so you know what I did?
Izzy: You walked the halls without being harassed and groped?
Elena: I padded by bra little by little until my boobs came in.
Izzy: So you overcame your shame of being flat by living a lie?

Lexie: Brian, I 911ed you and I 143ed you last night!

Carl: We're like trained seals.
Pearl: Who?
Carl: Mankind. Some so called authority says clap and we clap.

Moody: High school dances don't need anthropologists. They're their own genre. You've seen Sixteen Candles and Carrie, right? Trust me - Before Sunrise is way better.

Carl: Fine, I'll go [to the homecoming dance] but if they play that fucking Sugar Ray song, I'm out.

Moody: What do you think today - Springer or Ricky?
Izzy: We could do something crazy and watch Oprah.

Lexie: I once told Brian that I was sure someone in his family was white because of his mom's hair. And then he got super offended but it turns out that his grandma's actually half-Italian so he had to apologize because I was totally right.

Lexie: No, he's not going to wear fucking Tevas to homecoming. He's got a hook toe. Will you call Jim? He's being a total douchebag to Serena.
Trip: Jim is a douchebag. He makes fucking dad jokes.

Pearl: It's like a movie.
Moody: Yeah, hopefully we don't get drenched in pig's blood.

Trip: I thought you said high school dances were all hype, sweat, and hand jobs.

Bill: Debbie Jarvis sells tacky jewelry out of her car and calls herself an entrepreneur.

Lexie: What fucking hardship was I supposed to write about? That I have to share a bathroom with my sister? That my mom won't let me get my belly button pierced?

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Trip: Do you think that Carmen Electra is hotter than Jenny McCarthy if you didn't have to listen to her voice?

Moody: Since when are Lexie and Pearl even friends? Since Lexie realized having a black friend gives her street cred with Brian?

Trip: Do you know what stop, drop, and roll means?
Moody: Like when you're on fire?

Scott: I'm not an ATM. I'm trying to run a business here.
Mia: Well, two businesses, right, Scott? Would your parents consider getting busted for selling coke out of the kitchen and then going to jail as one fuck up or two?

Elena: Don't you drive a Chevy hatchback?
Mia: I do, like every other brokeass in America.

Lexie: Don't even fucking say it. I can't believe we're both Posh. You should have been slutty Michelle Kwan.

Moody: I can't believe I'm taking advice from someone who thought Forrest Gump was a true story.

Trip: You smell like, um, something.
Pearl: I don't know. V05 maybe.
Trip: Right, maybe. Isn't that like tomato juice?
Pearl: That's V8.

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Mia: Izzy, what would I be doing in the New York Times naked?

Brian: I mean, the Arch Deluxe was fine but you got to admit it was no McRib.

Jamie: What did you used to say? Being right is better than sex because it lasts longer.
Elena: Because it lasts forever.

Jamie: But feminists aren't rallying around Paula Jones like they did Anita Hill. It's ideological.
Elena: No, it's not ideological. It's actually she's just not a credible person.

Mia: My daughter skipped school to help you and you thanked her by using her name and then demanding that she take care of you. I spent two months cooking your dinners, working in your house. You never so much as uttered a thank you. And now you want more. Pearl may love to give and give to you, but I do not.

Lexie: I didn't have anywhere else to go.
Mia: You had plenty of places to go and plenty of people who care. You have no concept of what it's like to not have anyone. Don't insult your own intelligence by pretending otherwise.

Jamie: What's it like being this much of a narcissist? You know the world doesn't actually orbit around you.

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Warren: [Mom] literally asked the whole deaconess board to pray that you don't come back [from New York] a hooker - or worse, a lesbian.

Elena: Emergency contacts - while my mother is at the top of the list, you definitely do not wan to call her after 3:30 pm, at which time she turns into a pumpkin. A boozy unreliable pumpkin.
Rachel: I get it. I have an aunt with pumpkin tendencies.

Elena's mother: Sweetheart, it's impressive that you've worked as long as you have. This obsession that your generation has - it is okay to just be a woman and let men be men. 
Elena: You don't know what it means to love your work.
Elena's mother: This paper that you're working at - no one even reads it. And Bill told me that your job barely even pays for your help.
Elena: Bill said that?
Elena's mother: You should be trying to make things easier on yourself.
Elena: Things would be easier without another baby.
Elena's mother: You're acting as if it's a choice.
Elena: It is. We've held up signs that said so.
Elena's mother: You have money and resources, and there is no reason that you can't have another baby.
Elena: Is not wanting another one a reason?
Elena's mother: Not for people like us.

Bill: This is a good thing. We're going to have another baby! I can't believe it!
Elena: Four.
Bill: Yeah, four, and I promise it's not going to be much different than three.
Elena: How am I supposed to tell work?
Bill: Maybe you can drop back to part time or you can just drop it altogether.

Elena: Four is different than three.

Mia: His Marlboro ads are not art. They're deriviative. He's basically stealing.
Pauline: You mean appropriating? Don't we all do some version of that in our own art? I mean, look what you're doing. You take things that technically don't belong to you and put them in your art.
Mia: I manipulate. I curate. What Richard Prince is doing is completely different.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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April: [JP] said, "Bring your friends."
Izzy: He meant your boobs.

Elena: Why am I being punished for learning the truth?

Lexie: You are like a nerdy carjacker.

Moody: I'm not wearing that tartan tie again.
Elena: Yes, you are. It's the tartan that makes the photo.

Elena: Hard work and sacrifice is a hardship as well.

Kid 1: Yo, Dean Cain ain't even Asian.
Kid 2: Tyson Beckford is blasian. He should have his own baby tin.
Kid 3: I don't get it. Where are the Spanish babies?

Lawyer: As a single mother, do you struggle?
Mia: All mothers struggle. Money hides it so you can buy a nanny or a tutor, vacations, but you can't put a price on a mother's love for her child even though some might try.

Mia: No mother would want to be judged by the choice she made in her hardest, most desperate moment.

Carl: You know what I do when I can't sleep? Roll my eyes. It releases melatonin - nature's NyQuil.

Carl: Yeah, [Pearl]'s definitely covering something up. Probably another guy.
Moody: She doesn't hang out with anyone but my family.
Carl: What if it's your dad? Have you seen Poison Ivy? That shit happens.

Mia: You aren't an exception because you want to be.

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Moody: Why are you so upset? Of course they won. They always do. The rich people, the beautiful people, the popular people - they think they own everything and don't give a shit about anybody else. Fuck them. Fuck them all.
Izzy: Fuck you too. You're acting the exact same way. She's not yours. You know that, right? You don't just deserve her because you liked her.
Moody: Nobody asked you.
Izzy: You think that just because you bought her some bike and gave her some stupid notebook she's indebted to you? Who are you? Mom?

Pearl: I never think about what I want because no one ever asked me.

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