Jax Family Movie Night: New Missionary Titles for American Movies

[ElectricBoogaloo]

"Reverend Jax was raised by missionaries. His family watched American movies, but they gave 'em all new titles to teach moral lessons."

Discuss any of the reverend's family's alternative movie titles here!

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Jax: Like Pinocchio, or as my father/homeroom teacher called it, Lying Child Gets What He Deserves.

Wayne: He's seen every movie Tom Hanks made.
Jax: He's so good in Don't Get AIDS.

Arthur: That's Eye of the Tiger.
Jax: From the Sylvester Stallone movie.
Arthur: Yeah, I don't need to know what weird title your family gave Rocky.
Jax: It's Rocky. What else would it be?

Jax: I said, "Let's surprise him with a mash-up like in the TV show about glee clubs called Being Gay Makes High School Hard."

Ginny: If you don't want company, well, you picked the wrong group to make friends with.
Jax: Yes, we are loving yet pushy, like Mary Poppins in the classic Disney film Unmarried Women Cause Trouble.

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Jax: It's the story of underdogs triumphing like Emilio Estevez's hockey team in the movie my missionary parents called Ducks are Mighty But Not as Mighty as God.

Jax: It makes my heart glad to see you are back to being roommates. Like Bert and Ernie in that kid's show It's Okay If You're Gay If You Don't Acknowledge It. 
Ginny: Were Bert and Ernie gay?
Arthur: Totally.

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Jax: That was quite a showdown, like Helen Hunt versus the tornado in that film Don't Make God Angry or He'll Throw a Cow at You.

Jax: The vittles are ready! Vittles is a Southern word for food. 
Arthur: Yeah, I've seen The Beverly Hillbillies. 
Jax: Or as my missionary parents called it, You Think They're Rich, You Should See The Mansions In Heaven.

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Jax: I'm also Spartacus from the film Their Names Aren't All Spartacus But What A Nice Gesture.

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Arthur: Do you think Adams might have stolen my laptop? You know, successful woman, has it all, just wants to feel something.
Jax: Like Winona Ryder. You know, from that movie my missionary parents called Girls Named Heather Go to Hell Together.

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Jax: I used to sneak away and watch movies. You should've seen the look on dad's face when he caught me watching If Rosemary had Baptized her Baby, None of This Would've Happened. 
Anjali: I used to love watching movies. I watched them all the time back in India.
Jax: What was your favorite?
Anjali: Anything with Priyanka Chopra.
Jax: I love her.
Anjali: Her Bollywood stuff. Not the lifeguard movie called Running Around in Red Swimsuits Is a Sin.