davidcalgary29

I think this episode showed us persuasive evidence that Nehellenia was the winner of this Drag Race, but that Alyssa is the undisputed champion of RuPaul's Drag Marathon. This season would have been awful without her. I was mesmerized by Pythia's triple-headed look, a smart choice for Werkroom filler when she was sandwiched between both Kitty and Kween, which allowed her to look like she was simultaneously sneering at Kitty and staring blankly at Kween, while actually closing her eyes for a bit and taking a catnap. I may just have to steal that look for my next boardroom meeting.

Boy, do the producers ever have a lot to work on for season 2.

I have tried to stay neutral because, you know, this is an exploitative reality show with poorly-compensated contestants, but I was fuming while watching Kween being unnecessarily cruel (and inaccurately so) to Pythia, who hasn't really said an unkind word to anyone, and who was clearly bothered by it. Ugh.

The final four enter the Werkroom, congratulating themselves on making it to the final four. It's a familiar place for most of them, and it's nice to see the queens to take pride in their accomplishments, even though this group has seemed pre-ordained for the majority of this slog of a season. Except for Alyssa, who finds herself heading to the finish line for the first time in her long, long history of this show. The first time! That's just wild. Kitty takes the opportunity to take a shot at Nehellenia, because of course she does. The eliminated queens return to the Werkroom to announce that it's time to redress some of this season's many wrongs by throwing some cash around! And it's going to be a lipsynch standoff, so it's going to be great fun, right? Well, no. But more on that later! The eliminated queens return in order of their elimination. Except Pythia. What is WoW doing to her? The format is a familiar one: each selected queen will choose an opponent, who will then choose a song. WoW proceeds to then blow it all by revealing a playlist entirely of older RuPaul tracks. You guys -- NO. Vanity is eliminated because she doesn't know the words. Pythia isn't a dancer. Gala loses her wig -- wait, she wins her battle. What? We get one spirited lipsynch -- to "U Wear it Well", but these are all mediocre tracks, and I can only dream of what these talents might have done with better material. But we don't. Soa and Gala -- hopefully with some glue on -- make it to the end. They do their best with "The Beginning", but it's also a dud of a song. Soa wins! I loved her run on DR: France, so this was a nice cash prize for her. Alarmingly, Ru hints that we're going to see a sequel to this season! Please do not do this unless you replace the hosts, editors, and writers. Next week: fill up on whatever supports you'll need to make it the end -- it's the finale! I will root for two of the remaining contestants.

Loved the weecap! I don't have access to Crave while I'm out of the country, so your summary is great.

This might just the time to bring out that Snatch Game chestnut and declare "who cares!" when Ru is sitting at the finale with Kween and Kitty.

I am travelling, and had to (well, chose to) miss this week's charmer. It's amazing just how predictable the eliminations have been, isn't it?

Back in the Werkroom, the survivors of last week's slaughter blearily look around and try to remember who just got cut. Was it Eva? Athena? Wait, wasn't there someone named Soa on the season? It's time for another episode of Global All Stars! Ru enters the Werkroom to hustle the queens into another quick drag mini-challenge, and I'll just segue into a mea culpa from last week, because this one is definitely worse. After the queens...do some stuff, Ru throws some money at Gala. And at this point, even if I didn't know what the Maxi challenge was going to be, I would start to worry. You guys, the editing is just so bad this season. Ru emerges from a portal straight from the Fracking Paradise of Wyoming to utter words of terror for at least half the cast: it's time for The Snatch Game! Worried faces populate the room as they contemplate their fate -- with most of those looks of gloom coming from those whose English is their second (or third) languages. Because they're not stupid. Still, they soldier on -- shall we? The queens look anxious as they bring their characters up for a Ruspection. Gala seeks advice from (or is forced to listen) to Alyssa, a risky choice. Did she not watch Alyssa's seasons? Most seem set on their choices, but Pythia quickly pivots when Ru hints that she should, showing everyone her smarts. But more on that later! With a little more Werkroom chat, we pivot to the Snatch Game. In keeping with the franchise, this is the "Love" variant and, as things unfold, it's one of the better ones -- judging aside. But more on that later! While no one really knocks this out of the park, most of the queens do fairly well, and only Gala and Vanity spiral after they get stuck in their respective heads. Still, it isn't terrible, which is as good as it gets these days. Kween, who definitely makes a...choice with a character that's going to get a lot of online backlash, and Pythia, with a choadish Zeus, shine. They do not get picked for dates. On the runway, the queens flaunt food-inspired looks, and they all look pretty good, although Vanity's gown reeks of hot glue and the crafting table. The money gap is, once again, on full display. Alyssa and Kween are safe -- Alyssa because, as Tessa accurately and cuttingly states, she played Alyssa as her character. She seethes to Kween that she promises to bring Alyssa 5.0 to the competition, because clearly a softer, more subtle approach is now in order. Just kidding! Alyssa has come to devour us all. Pythia, Nehellenia (who did very well playing up her smarts and Ru's fondness for annoying stereotypes into a winning performance), and Kitty are the tops. This is correct, although I would have swapped out Kitty, who has another ugly runway, for Kween, even with Kween's continued ugliness towards Nehellenia. Kitty wins! Whatever. Gala and Vanity find themselves lipsynching to "Mah na ma na", an inspired choice. Vanity finds the absurdity in the song to turn in a great performance, and while Gala does well, she can't match Vanity's goofiness. Vanity stays! Well, before it was memorialized by The Muppets, it did appear first in the 60s mondo film "Sweden: Heaven and Hell", so it's appropriate. Gala makes a graceful exit to a show that did her wrong. The judging may have stuck the landing, but the process -- giving Kitty lavish praise and an unnecessary win -- is just so maddeningly off. Boo! Next week: it's a roast! Will Ru finally cut off Nehellenia's interesting journey on this show? We don't need Priyanka's shaky Miss Cleo to read these tea leaves. Stray thoughts: -I've just about had it with Kween's continued bitchiness toward Nehellenia, who really was edited out of most of the episode. Either show us the evidence, or just keep quiet at this point. We. Get. It. -Ru's boobs looked weird on the runway -- the proportions were off, and the right one looked lumpy. What! -Nehellenia remains winless, though she could have easily won this. I fear that she, and Pythia -- who has, if anything, done even better -- will be the next to be punted from the season.

Gala and Nehellenia are the only remaining contestants who have not won a challenge...and have the weakest English language skills. I've not read any spoilers, and will not do so, but I'd guess that they'll be the next to go based on the decisions Ru has made so far this season.

Kween and Kitty are entitled; Alyssa is just terrifying as The Converted. Can we test her to see if she hasn't been replaced by one of those creepy "lifelike" animatronics making the rounds in Memeworld? She's probably the only reason that I'm sticking around this season at this point. None of the other queens look like they're having any fun.

This season is doing many things poorly, but its greatest sin is probably its failure to negotiate the queens' drag cultural differences effectively. All of the English-as-a-second (or third) language queens are behaving as they did in their original seasons, where cultural expectations were very different, but are now on this season, which is essentially being run as a US AS tideover, and are unfamiliar with this host and competition format. I don't think that the queens are necessarily at fault here: Kitty is used to being on screen with quick-witted counterparts, and Nehellenia is probably lots of fun a warmer, more supportive environment; those styles just haven't meshed well here, benefitting no one. Can you imagine what this season could have been like if Nicky had hosted? Or even Brooke Lynn v. 4.0? Ru's just collecting a paycheck here, and it shows.

The queens fitfully rehash Eva's departure in the wake of the last, underwhelming lipsynch, and mutter about some things while thinking of anything but this competition. It's time for another episode of Global All Stars! Ru maddeningly continues to channel Tyra by trolling the queens into thinking that they're going on a trip -- only to playfully announce that it's the start of another crappy mini-challenge! This one really isn't any fun, so I'm just going to replay the awesome S5 "quick drag in the dark" skit back in my mind. Done! See, wasn't that much more fun? Here, Tessa wins with her homage to Amanda Tori Meeting. Yay. Ru then teases our queens with a bunch of alcoholic references, but the days of Jujubee drunkenly grinding to "Black Velvet" are long gone. It's time for another ball! And this one has nothing at all to do with the official episode title, so whatever. Ru announces that the queens are going to do a fabric swap with each other to create their looks -- they all brought fabric with them -- in the hope that it will spark some fun mayhem. As with much of this season, though, she's wrong, and the segment meanders far too long over Nehellenia's endless tears over receiving Kitty's ugly fabrics. Let's skip to the runway, shall we? The looks span the spectrum of "okay", which is a problem: no one really bombs this, with makes it boring. And Pythia's garment, which is hands-down the best of the night, is shown pretty much complete at the beginning of the episode, so it has zero drama as she walks it down the runway. Bad editors! Alyssa, Nehellenia, and Kitty are safe. I hate Kitty's look. Tessa, Kween, and Pythia are the tops. Pythia is immediately taken out of the running for the win by Michelle, who claims that her excellence is expected. What! Ru hates her styling, and cautions her not to accept paste jewellry from Joslyn Fox. Okay, I'll give her that one. Tessa wins, and waves her ugly boa-ed arm in victory! Whatever. Vanity's look and styling are the worst. She's safe! Soa and Gala are left to battle it out to an energetic dance number, and it's one of the better lipsynchs this season. Soa loses because her lipsynch outfit is HIDEOUS and should be burned immediately. Congratulations, Gala! Please only do one tumble for your next lipsynch. Next week: it's The Snatch Game! Will this be as good as S14, or perhaps Canada S4? Lower your expectations, people! Production still hasn't fixed this season's massive flaws.

Oh, lord. If Ru comes in the Werkroom in a beret and a bad French accent, performing a skit about "one girl...Becky..." and moaning about just how mean other supermodels can be, we'll know that we've all stroked out. And really, aren't we already almost there? I didn't think that an obsession with "Rosemary's Baby" was a contagion spreading amongst Reality TV hosts, and yet here we are, seeing further evidence of a tragic contamination after AS9. The international franchises have some great ideas that could be used to freshen things up, but there's nothing necessarily wrong with the mothership, either. Production is just screwing things up royally here with blatant favoritism, weird pacing, and terrible writing. It also doesn't help that some of the queens are acting like they're hostages this point, instead of voluntary participants on a TV show. And then there's Alyssa, who increasingly looks like she's at some type of Tent Revival. Did you catch her mouthing the words to "C.U.N.T." as Ru was speaking them? Alyssa 3.0 is sort of terrifying even while she mesmerizes. This series is the weirdest thing I've seen in some time.

I briefly thought about mentioning the queens' varying levels of proficiency in English, but it's clear that Ru only has two criteria for viewing these queens: those who she has judged before, and those she hasn't. I try to put that out of my mind when watching these episodes. I'd also like to take a moment to carp about the trailers' narration. Is this the first time that Michelle has essentially done...everything? It really depersonalized each of the skits.

Classic.