[S04.E17: Love, Love Me Stew]

Sandy and Ben (especially Sandy) were making me so mad I thought I was going to have a damn stroke.  I get so tired of her assessing every situation incorrectly, and then "fixing" it with all the wrong orders.  The breakfast table is never decorated, the FOOD goes in the middle on the lazy Susan, not knick knacks! The guests have their coffee out on the deck sitting on the soft benches looking at the scenery.  And they do this after they have gotten out of bed, so pulling a "GET EVERYONE OUT OF BED NOW!!!!!!!" in that moment was so wholly unnecessary I couldn't take it.  It's as if she realized they had gotten to the end of the season without her throwing scalding water in Hannah's face yet, so she's trying to catch up, and she looks like an absolute maniac.

When Ben starts to fall behind or feel stressed for any reason, it automatically becomes everyone else's fault within his sight range.  He's mad that Hannah schedules the required breaks and sleep times for her department, because he doesn't get as much rest as they do.  He's mad that her department gets along well, because their existence annoys him while he's cooking food.  He's mad that the guests already ate the first course before he's ready with the second, so Hannah must be rushing them.  He's mad that when he is ready for someone to take a dish up , sometimes they are not standing right in front of him because they are doing something else like clearing plates or filling drinks.  He makes everyone wait for him because "THESE THINGS TAKE TIME", but if he has to wait one microsecond for something he wants done by another person, that means the interior crew is shit, and Hannah doesn't know how to do her job, and everything is bullshit (PUNCHES PANS!).  I just can't. I don't care how good his food is, his attitude is the worst and does not entertain me, it stresses me out like Sandy's mean micromanaging.

That guest was already a lot less attractive to me when I realized how sloppy drunk he was, but when he added the girlfriend part?  So glad Hannah gave him the old, "Goodnight, sleep well!" And I'm guessing after watching the episode last night that girlfriend might have dumped him, if she was even still with him.

I felt for Juao, some viruses are such misery when they aren't treatable with antibiotics, and there is nothing you can do but ride it out with fever dreams and sweaty sheets.  You can try to treat the symptoms, but it's barely worth bothering. I hate being sick like that away from home.

[S04.E03:. Donde Esta Margarita]

Most of the problems between LeeAnne and Kary could have been avoided if LeeAnne just worked on better delivery.  All of the women were unhappy with how long the drive was from the airport - it almost seemed like Kary had not properly warned them how tough that part of the voyage would be.  All of the women were unhappy having to use that filthy restroom with no toilet seat OR DOOR.  But there are ways to say things about such moments without sounding like you're just being a complainey bitch.  

Like LeeAnne, I would not want to room with Kary.  For one thing, sometimes I snore, and don't really want someone else to have to deal with that.  And if the person I was supposed to share a bed with wasn't one of my very best friends?  Then I would honestly prefer to sleep on a sofa out in a common area.  But if there was a whole empty room available, yeah, I would have found a way to politely ask for it, and if being polite didn't work I would lean in hard on my snoring problem and maybe throw in a flatulence disorder as well as night terrors, just to stack the deck in my favor.

More than 200 stairs down to the ocean, and then you have to climb them all the way back up?  Oh, no thank you.  I would much rather enjoy the views from the (amazing, spectacular) house, thanks.  I wouldn't be going on that bridge, and I would not be eating beet salad.  All of those things are big hell naws for me.  But there are ways to decline without seeming ungrateful to the host, or like you're just a miserable womp womp.

The only part where I totally understood why LeeAnne lost her shit was not when Kary asked why she never had children (although I do hate that - when people ask me I instantly break into anxiety hives and start looking for the nearest exit), but when LeeAnne told her why, Kary basically said she was wrong in her choice not to have them, and that she should have done what she herself did, be positive and have children even though her childhood sucked. Why say any of that, when it's too late for LeeAnne to change her mind even if she wanted to?  Why presume you can compare your shitty upbringing to anyone else's? That was a super dick move on Kary's part, and by then LeeAnne was already at peak irritability after a long, exhausting day.  I would have snapped and gone crazy on her ass for that, too.

It's very sad that Stephanie has had difficulty coping with the amount of sharing that she has gotten from fans about depression. She is a truly good, kind person, and I'm glad she at least realized that while being an excellent role model for people who have struggled with suicidal thoughts, it also takes a toll on her and she's got to stay on top of her own care. It's important to show that it's an ongoing process, and that sometimes additional treatment is necessary during excessively vulnerable times.

I appreciate that Kameron's husband laughed at how ridiculous it is that their daughter didn't know what a commercial flight was. I still don't see Kameron as an actual human being, but more like a robot who is also an actor that is trying to play the part of a ditzy blonde self-proclaimed princess, and goes WAY over the mark of believability. 

[S34.E04: Benedict Laurel]

I think Laurel knew she wasn't doing something right at the moment she did it.  Every peg had a hole, every hole was exactly the same, but she gets to the top and just jams it in where there isn't a hole for it.  No chance she didn't know then that she was cheating, because she is smart enough to realize she must have missed a hole somewhere but wasn't willing to risk the time it took to figure out where because Ninja was right on her tail.

Of course, I say Laurel is smart, but she also assumed that Team USA should be happily on board with her plan to throw challenges to get rid of fellow team members that are a threat... to Laurel.  Narcissist, much?  If they aren't with her on this, they are against her?  No, maybe they just understand the concept of this challenge as Team vs. Team, and that it isn't for everyone to just help Laurel pick off her enemies until it's time to hoist her over the finish line and cheer for her.

It really irks me when Cara Maria (or any of the veterans, really) gets indignant that she shouldn't have to go into showdowns because she has already proved herself in the past.  Every new Challenge season means you have to prove yourself all over again.  You don't get immunity this year because you beat some people last year.  That's not how any of this works. I used to like Cara Maria, but somehow her being with Pauly makes her very unlikable to me. Even when they aren't doing anything particularly annoying, they annoy me.

I really like Georgia so much, but holy shit does that girl have horrific taste in people.  Bear is always a bad choice, no matter how charming he is.  Josh is always a bad choice, and he is not charming in any way.  I also have no idea why she was trying to help prevent Laurel from going in...what reason does she have to protect her?  I must have missed something there, because if anything I would have expected her to want to get rid of her rival for Bear.

Speaking of Bear, he said he has feelings for 4 different women there, and that makes him a slag, but I don't think the word feelings means what he thinks it does, unless he's talking about the tingly feelings in his penis.  Bear doesn't actually care about anyone, he's just trying to get in the pants of as many women as he possibly can. And how dumb do you have to be to not understand that you can't spread cold, hard butter on soft bread?  It was painful to watch him mangle that poor slice of white bread.  

I never did like Johnny, and now he's forced me to agree with Ashley, who I loathe?  Unforgivable.  If she can figure out that he sabotaged her, then no, Leroy, he is not a good actor at all.  

To be honest, I'm rooting for the UK team, because I like their people more.  Or at least I don't know enough about them to dislike them as intensely as I do the USA team.  I still love CT, and continue to worry about his health.  Glad to see he's taking it easy when it comes to screaming and yelling, I really do not want him to have a stroke.

[S04.E19: Reunion (Part 1)]

What is even the point of Candiace? She has zero substance, she's not funny, intelligent, interesting, she brings nothing at all to any table except her insatiable thirst for attention, and brings her equally thirsty mother into the show because they both have this crazy idea that they are important enough to be famous.  Candiace's entitlement and diva behaviors are not cute, she basically seems to exist solely to fight with everyone around her.  How is there ANYONE who chooses to spend time with her because they genuinely enjoy her company? By the way, Candiace, you say you earned the money you got from your mom because you came out of her cooch (classy, girl!), and then you said it's your legacy.  So which is it? You earned it, or it's your legacy? I wish her mom had clocked her with her purse - again - when that nonsense came out of Candiace's mouth.

I'm more interested in seeing footage and photos of Gizelle's finished house than I am in her rekindled relationship with her cheating ex-husband.  You've gotten along this far without him, why take him back now? This is a thing that drives me crazy about men who cheat - they ALWAYS want to come back eventually.  Maybe women who cheat do that, too, but I've never heard those tales, only the stories about the men who fully humiliate and dismiss their wives for the mistress, and then come crawling back later when things didn't work out. And what I hate even more than seeing them come back, is when the women whose hearts they burned to the damn ground take them back.  I understand it's harder when there are children involved, but self respect is also important for their own sake as well as the sake of their children.  As is wanting to do better moving forward, and taking a big step backward is never better.  I will be shocked if this reconciliation lasts for life.

Karen's vague answers to specific questions are maddening, and probably the thing that I like least about her, because she has always done it.  Not only will she not come out with a real answer, she says shit like, "we are considering all options" and "we are still adjusting" with her nose in the air and this act of superiority as if anyone is going to just say, "Well, I guess the grande dame hath spoken!" and consider their questions answered.  She is unable to be truthful about herself and her life.  When she feels threatened and exposed, she bares her teeth in a crazed "smile" that looks more like the grimace of a wild animal who just bumped up against a predator, and then tosses her hair and adjusts her skirt to imply she is unbothered, but she is VERY BOTHERED.  

I have no problems with Monique this season, she's cool.  I wasn't sure I liked her during the first season, but she has settled down on the showing off and now just seems like a good person who lives a good life.  

I'm tired of Ashley getting constantly raked over the coals for something her husband did.  Why does she have to be the one to speak about it a thousand times?  I think he's bi-sexual, I think he probably does like to grab men's asses and talk about their dicks.  If he's touching anyone in an appropriate way without consent, then that's on him.  Ashley doesn't control that, but she's endlessly being punished for it. And Candiace seems to come after her for sport, maybe because she is threatened by a woman her age who is also very attractive, I don't know.  There's no logical reason why Candiace should care whether Ashley drank while hoping to get pregnant - what in the world does that have to do with Candiace? Again, I am back to my initial bewilderment, which is why Candiace is a part of this show.  Her entire role has been to ugly fight, with her equally gross mother, with Chris, with the other women - watching her be nasty and go below the belt like it's her whole job is not entertaining for me at all.

Robyn said pretty much nothing this whole hour, and that feels like the appropriate amount of time to spend on her.

[S34.E01: The British Are Coming!]

So what exactly happened to CT physically?  He looks absolutely horrible.  I realize he’s 39, which is honestly just too old for this even in one’s best shape, but also I think he’s a smoker who drinks a fair amount and also has put on a lot of weight. But it’s more than that...he has spread out and is somehow 4 feet wide now, he’s like a hulk, but soft and doughy instead of ripped.  He looks jaundiced. His face is super puffed up, and there are dark circles under his eyes.  I worry that he’s going to have a stroke or cardiac arrest from the exertion necessary to get by in this game. Don’t waste your energy on Josh, of all fucking people. That goes for you, too, Georgia. Josh is a diaper rash that cries at the drop of a hat. He’s not an empath, he’s just a big mouthy baby. What horrible taste in men she has. Based on how much CT looks ready to keel over and be hospitalized any minute I’m not shocked the US team didn’t choose him, but OUCH. That’s a huge kick to the ego’s balls.  The man once wore Bananas as a backpack, and now he’s chopped liver. Still, picking Turbo was the smart move even if it meant shaming a living legend.

Speaking of Georgia ... she still loved Bear at the end of last season and now they don’t speak or acknowledge each other. But notice how they are just letting it be and not dragging the rest of the team into their drama and expecting people to take sides and vote each other out based on personal feelings? Take note, Cara, Paulie and Kyle, that’s how you’re supposed to do it when you’re grown ups.

No amount of money in the world can get Ashley decent hair extensions? Why doesn’t she know her hair looks like hell? Weird that they’ve had two nights in the house and hasn’t had sex yet.  Is she ok?

Sean was WAYYYYY too meek and mild for this game. Maybe being passive wins you a U.K. reality show, but these people will eat you alive, son. Nobody asked you questions about yourself and you think that was mean and unfair? Are you kidding???

Is Laurel into guys now? She’s badass and scary as usual, and I like that Jordan chose her for the tribunal instead of Tori. 

It’s hard to look at Theo on this show knowing he was just blinded in one eye with a champagne cork. Poor guy, he seems like such a genuinely good dude. 

I’m always happy to see Leroy but my expectations for him are at rock bottom. He’s just not a great competitor. 

So glad Zahida is back, I love her to death!!! I actually prefer the UK team to the US, based on personalities. Our team may be stacked, but it’s chock full of assholes.  I’d rather hang with the U.K. team socially any day. 

[S06.E08: Week 4, Part 2]

Good lord, JPJ, you need to sit down and close that mouth.  I’ve always felt like his face often looks like it’s eating itself, and tonight I was hoping he would just go ahead and swallow his own head so he would stop talking.

JPJ makes me think of the kids you remember from grade school because they had some awkward or humiliating event in front of the whole class, and everyone laughs and says WHAT A DORK! or whatever because they are so glad it was That Kid instead of them. I’m talking about That Kid who vomited in the middle of the cafeteria during lunch, That Kid who stood up to read his report aloud and ripped a huge fart, That Kid who blew a snot bubble during recess, That Kid who tries to be the class clown but he’s not actually funny so he ends up just doing things the other kids dare him to do, like eat glue.

 I feel like JPJ has probably done ALL of those things, and never had much interest from girls, but then he realized he could grow hair and muscles, so he concentrated on those and hoped he could use them to snag the ladies, but he’s still That Kid in a man’s body. Did he and Tazjuan swim in the River of Emotional Instability on their date? Because they both gave off the same kind of unhinged hysteria.

I don’t doubt that Derek said in a semi-private conversation with JPJ and possibly some of the other guys that he has hooked up with fans.  I don’t doubt that he commented about that being one of the perks of being part of Bachelor Nation. But JPJ said Derek stated that he uses his fame to manipulate and take advantage of women, and I seriously doubt that’s what he said.  I hope JPJ has been watching the show unfold and now feels like the idiot that he is after seeing that Tayshia pursued Derek, and she couldn’t get JPJ out of the way fast enough to get going on that pursuit. 

I am so unhappy to hear Conner’s vocal fry again.  I had forgotten that on top of it, he also says, “like” a lot.  He’s got this little boy head on a super tall body that comes across like he’s still in that awkward stage of puberty when boys look like they are made up of a bunch of randomly put together gangly parts. 

I know Angela’s friends thought they were being supportive when they said she “lost a TON of weight”, like “OMG SO MUCH WEIGHT!” but ... damn.  It’s not like she was a hippo last year and now she’s a gazelle. 

I guess they invited Kristian to stay so that Demi could continue comically narrating Paradise for us. 

[S04.E13: It's Ben a Long Time]

If Anastasia hadn’t been there to help Ben he wouldn’t have made it through that meal - she really knows what is there, where it all is, the best way to work around the quirks and inconveniences of that small, shitty galley, and she communicates effectively and succinctly. I’ve never felt that her quality of food suddenly tanked, and the “food is cold again so Ana is failing” nonsense got on my nerves from the start. Clearly, the last charter guests had a guy whose mission was to send food back for being too cold like it was his job. If you don’t eat when the plate is put in front of you, it’s going to cool off.  Even Ben’s food cools off. I kind of like that Ana is getting a bit of validation, because I think she did a good job except for the small portions for the baseball player’s charter. 

Sandy is so busy ass kissing she doesn’t have time to address the burner situation?  She’s all, “Let’s make this happen!” when it comes to thin slicing ham, but she can’t be arsed to convey the urgency of a new stove to the owner? She’s the only one who has a direct line to the person who can authorize that purchase. 

My feelings about Joao go up and down, but he is consistently excellent at his job. It’s a pleasure to watch him work.  Travis’ commentary about the South African running in his natural habitat made me laugh.  Drink Travis is a nightmare, but sober Travis is great, and in spite of his mistakes I have a soft spot for him. It makes me sad that someone who can be so smart, funny, kind and great to be around is admittedly unhappy at his core and using alcohol to try to cover up that unhappiness. I hope he gets help, he could be an excellent human all around if he can somehow fight his way out of depression and alcoholism. 

I had completely forgotten Captain Eyebrows was ever on this show until they showed him in the Ben flashback.  I guess that’s how June will be for me eventually, slipping so far back in the memory that it’s like she was never there.

[S04.E16: Trouble in Paradise]

Katie seems barely conscious most of the time. So low energy, awake by a thread, doesn’t speak much and when she does it’s the bare minimum or way too much. I agree that it feels very invasive to view her this way.

However, I’m still not ok with her calling Ashley stupid and dumb, repeatedly, and then flipping it around on her like, “I’m going through a bad time and if you don’t want to be my friend because of that then fuck you”? Sorry, that was some twisty deflecting garbage.  Ashley ended up apologizing and Katie didn’t, so I guess that tactic worked, but I don’t appreciate that kind of slick shit from anyone.

[Bethenny Frankel: Skinny Girl]

I am genuinely sad Bethenny is leaving. She’s my favorite HW of all the franchises, of all time.  It’s funny, on the forums here 99% of the posts about her are negative and it feels like she’s almost completely hated, but on IG I’ve seen nothing but other people who are upset like I am.  I’ll really miss her calling out the others when they are assholes, and making fun of them like only she can.

I’ll give whatever she does next a try, out of loyalty, but what I want is the candid Bethenny navigating through life while dealing with LuAnn, Ramona and Sonja. 

I have no feelings about Lisa Vanderpump  leaving, or Vicki being demoted, but this has me shook.

[S06.E14: White Gloves Off]

I'm still happily entertained by this show and these people.  I don't really care how ridiculous some of it is, I like the visuals, and I'm invested in them all too much by now to want them gone.  

I remember seeing that same kind of see through "dress" style on celebrities in red carpet & step-and-repeat photos, and thinking it was not a great look.  It was definitely WAY too much for this particular party, but Kathryn looks at all events (big or small) as opportunities to have fun dressing up.  She has a go big or go home mentality when it comes to fashion, and she looks very beautiful when glammed up, she wears dramatic make-up well, but I do wish she would look at what she wants to wear to a party, and then go with something at least one notch quieter.  It's like putting on accessories and then removing at least one of them...she still needs to learn the art of less is more when it comes to her looks.  She can still be bold without having to wear the curtains AND the rod.

For the first time, I thought Cameran's dress was a big fail.  Normally I really like her style, or at least think she is always wearing something appropriate for the occasion, but the satin sheet gown didn't do it for me.  I'm glad Jason made an appearance, even though he was clearly a bit unnerved by the cameras.  I don't like Cam going on so much about her crush on Metul.  Part of that is because I don't like Metul, but Jason is too good of a guy to embarrass with that nonsense even if it is just a joke.

Naomie looked stunning at the party, I loved that dress on her.  I enjoyed the little moment in the show with her mother, seeing the photos of her at Naomie's age.  I personally think Naomie can do better than Metul, but she doesn't think so, and that's a shame. She will put up with his humorless, dominant personality because she believes that's the price of getting someone out of her league.  

I guess Ashley thought wearing the dress that Patricia helped pick out for her, along with the same shoulder bag, was going to somehow be an F-You to Patricia, but it only made her whole appearance that much more pathetic.  Of course she is the kind of person who considers calling 911 because she was thrown out of a party she was not invited to. I do not think any of her reactions are fake, she's really that unhinged and frenetic. The woman who went to the party with Ashley looked completely shell-shocked by the end, like she was questioning all of her life choices that had led up to that moment, and considering self-admitting into a quiet place where she can get lots of therapy.

Poor Danni, still trying to make "Shep did not give me chlamidia!" happen.  It's not going to happen, Danni.  99% of us believe he did, but we are not judging you for it, girl, we are judging him for spreading it around, and for telling Austin.  I know it's embarrassing, and you want your family to have enough reasonable doubt to tell themselves it never happened, but just be thankful it wasn't herpes and keep on being the kind person you are. You win at being a more than decent human being, and everyone is finally seeing Shep for the sleazebag he is.

I'm glad Kathryn canceled her plans to ride to the party with Austen and Madisin when she realized it was hurting her best friend.  But also, why did she not put together that it was a bad idea without Danni having to tell her?  I hope she is still with Hunter, he makes her giddy, and I like a not-so-tall man who is willing to date a very tall, larger than life woman like Kathryn.  He's comfortable and confident in his own skin, and besides Jason, might be the only man on this show who has that going for him. 

Shep looked like a maniac during all of his frantic denials and defensive rantings about how much he TOTALLY DOESN'T CARE OMG THAT IS RIDICULOUS HAHAHAHA!!! about Austen and Madisin being together.  Loved the flashback that showed even 4 years ago Madisin was unimpressed by Shep.  He absolutely can't handle it. His parents must be mortified by everything he has said and done this season, because it has all been either stupid or awful.  He spent almost a million dollars on a lousy piece of property that Cameran warned him against, and he's been all downhill from there.  Yes, his dog is cute, I follow Lil Craig on Instagram, I can't lie.  But he should have adopted instead of buying from a breeder, which he would never do because he thinks that's what poor trash people like Madisin would do.  He has his parents' money to spend, so why not throw a couple thousand on a designer dog.  A precious and adorable designer dog, dammit. I wish I could be totally mad about that because I am a big proponent of animal rescue and adoption, but Lil Craig is a chunk nugget of cuteness that I can't properly nitpick.

Even better than Austen telling Craig to "fuck off, please", I liked how swiftly and politely Craig DID fuck right off.  Don't have to tell him twice!  I can sort of see Shep wording the date situation in a way that sounded mildly funny to Craig beforehand, and he didn't give it any real thought until he saw how everyone else reacted to the "joke" and realized Shep had fooled him again.  Austen called Craig a "beautiful idiot" on WWHL, and I can't disagree with that.  I don't think Craig would ever want to consciously use or truly hurt anyone, and Shep would know exactly how to twist the situation around to convince Craig to take part without realizing the whole thing was SUPER SHITTY and gross in lots of ways, not even remotely funny. At least Craig admitted it was very uncool of them to do, but Shep will never admit that one of his ideas is anything less than brilliant.

[S06.E13 Outfoxed]

Interesting tidbit that Ashley’s family was pissed at Ashley for a while about what she said to Kathryn.  

I somehow have come to absolutely love Eliza, and hope she’s back next season.  I really enjoy watching the events on her family property, and how she explains them to us.  So happy she wanted to save the foxes by having the hounds go on a stink hunt instead of a real one. The visuals were great, and so far that makes 2 out of 2 parties at her place that I would love to attend.  I think she’s really beautiful, too, especially when you can’t see any bad hair extensions and the focus is on her delicate face.

Cameran and Shep just did the same thing when they met for lunch that Madison did - announce very personal sexual information about two other people on national television without their consent.  Austen really does have a big muppet mouth, though. Is there anything private that he won’t tell around? Jesus.

Another episode where Craig behaves well! Way to go, Craig!  I always love seeing Lil Craig, too. That stinker is CUTE.

Kathryn maybe could have left the black tulle skirting at home, but otherwise I thought she looked beautiful.  Dramatic and definitely in a costume kind of way, but beautiful. It’s weird that her job at Gwynne’s started as a stylist and continues to involve that kind of work, yet she has a tough time styling herself for casual day to day.  She was cute and gooey about her new man... I wonder if they are still together now. Haven’t seen her mention him on social media in a while.  I wish she could find someone who is a good match for her, that she can see often - someone who can help make her home life feel more comforting and  safe.  Long distance relationships aren’t the best choice for her right now. Or ever, really.  

[S14.E01: New Friend, New Flames]

Just now, Pegasaurus said:

Also, as much as Ryan is a creep, he has a right to his own political views.  Even if his brother thinks they are "wrong".  When his mother started to scold him, he got up and calmly left. Good for him.  Having said that,  Bravo, no politics, please.  

I agree, I do not want to see politics on these shows.  I think the bigger issue with Ryan's views is that when he and his brother disagreed, he apparently threatened to hit him because he doesn't think he should be spoken to "that way".  Didn't Ryan go to jail for domestic assault against the mother of his child? He and his volatile temper can please go away now, thanks.

[Are You The One? - General Discussion]

I think Danny and Kai make sense as a perfect match if you look at it from a yin/yang angle.  Danny is everything Kai isn't, and vice versa.  But I want better for Danny, because Kai is just going to keep effing around with everyone he can get his hands on for probably years.  He's still pretty new to this version of himself, a version that apparently EVERYONE finds attractive, and with his total lack of self control, he's not going to be ready for a partner like Danny any time soon. Ideally, I would love for Danny and Paige to be a perfect match.

Nour is pretty vile, and every episode she looks more like an unfriendly alien to me, because her personality is so terrible.

It pains me that we know Jonathan and Biset are a match and they don't.  The way the challenges are set up annoys me, because there is usually potential for only non-matches to go on the dates and waste everyone's precious time. I would prefer it if the challenges were designed to help put the pairs together - the spinning wheel last season tried to do that, even if it took them forever to figure out that it was a clue.

[S14.E01: New Friend, New Flames]

I don't think I'm going to enjoy watching Gina coming unglued, especially knowing what happens with her husband later on.  It's the worst possible time for her life to be displayed on national television, but she also needs the paycheck more than ever, so here we are, watching this bleak tale unfold on a show that's supposed to be about obnoxious women living lavish, wealthy lifestyles. I want to be able to make fun of them for their inevitably annoying, entitled behavior, not sit and glumly watch someone's entire life disintegrating with young kids involved.  How am I supposed to make fun of that???

Oh good, another season of watching Emily and her wee goblin husband barely tolerate each other, while saying I love you through clenched teeth.  

OF COURSE Ryan is a huge Trump supporter who threatened his younger brother with violence over differing political views.  Disgusting, but certainly no surprise.  Why is he even around...does he live with Tamra and Eddie?  Please let that be his only cameo for the season. I can't bear the sight of him, especially so soon after dinner. Tamra bragging about living in Vicki and Jeanna's neighborhood was so gross.  After all these years of gleefully showing how trashy she is, does she think anyone is going to think she's classy and elite now that she's living in the rarified air of *gasp* Coto de Casa? I think they are probably renting that place anyway, because no way is their gym and her paycheck covering a $2mil mortgage. 

It's going to be awkward watching Shannon kiss all the different guys she was seeing during this time period, but it's nice to see her happy.  I've always liked her, even through the Sad Shannon seasons, and I'm rooting for her to find a true partner and have a healthy, fulfilling relationship. 

I like the new wife so far.  Her family seems great, including that VERY nice looking husband who seems to genuinely enjoy interacting with them all.  Looking forward to seeing how her presence adds to the dynamic of the group, and I love that she hit it off with Shannon immediately.  

Kelly's boyfriend is the thirstiest man I have ever seen on reality tv, and that's saying a lot.  The less we see of him, the better. Why has the number of icky, creepy men been so high on this franchise? I mean, let's take a look:  Slade Smiley, Tamra's Ryan, Brianna's Ryan, Brooks, Kelly's ex-husband, Kelly's new boyfriend, Emily's husband, Alexis Bellino's ex-husband, Gina's ex-husband (not shown, but we know from the media he's a slime), Jeanna's Keough's husband, David Beador, Jim Edmonds.  Did I miss anyone?  That's a lot, even by RH standards.  Every franchise has at least a couple, but the OC is extra heavy on the sleazeballs.

[S06.E02: Week 1, Part 2]

JPJ is not my favorite, but I’ll give him points for being so upbeat about being poisoned.  Vomiting is the end of the world to me, all I want is privacy and to be left to feel sorry for myself.  Never knew it was possible to hurl in front of tons of people, some holding cameras, while reassuring everyone “I’m good! Everything is fine!” between all the violent heaves.  

It’s funny that Jane’s cutesy hot sauce shtick almost killed a man, and has probably locked in her zero percent chance of getting a rose. Might want to find a new hook, Jane.

[S06.E01: Week 1, Part 1]

It feels like they are purposely avoiding mentioning that it was Taylor that Derek was engaged to - no flashbacks, just weird generic references to it.  

Why do I not know the story about someone pooping on a newspaper in their office???? Please help, I need more information.  How was this discovered? What was the context? Is it a thing he does daily or was it one time in an emergency situation? Was this revealed on a date?  

[S06.E01: Week 1, Part 1]

Bibiana looks so different.

I love that Kristina’s date is about vengeance.

Taysha always seems like she’s putting on a performance of Upbeat Girl Next Door.  Show all the teeth, giggle and say “Yay! Fun!” a lot. Good vibes, teehee! Ugh. 

I thought I liked Kevin on Hannah’s season - wasn’t he the one who counsels veterans with PTSD?  And now he’s obsessed with his own abs, describes women as having strong jawlines and wears skin tight swim trunks?  Ew. Am disappoint.

I can’t imagine how any of these women can take JPJ seriously enough to be romantically interested in him. He’s a caricature.

Wills seems perpetually stoned and low energy, as always.  The bleached hair feels like a mistake to me. Does anyone think that looks good?

Cam is just a huge NO for me, in every way. So is Jane.  They both try too hard and are way below the attractiveness standard for this show.  I know the point is to pair up to stay on the whole season, but I would like them to pair up and then leave immediately.  Someone needs to tell Jane that eating tacos and hot sauce is not interesting or quirky, and does not work as a valid substitute for a good personality.

[S06.E12: Who Put the Mad in Madison?]

I'm sure Shep's parents have been ready for him to get off the show for a while now, because every season shows him more for the embarassment he really is, so this episode must have made them SUPER PROUD.  I feel bad for Danni's family having to witness this mess, too.  She dated him back when he was still considered datable, and he gave her an STI.  No reason in the world she should have had this information revealed. But I'm glad that the focus of this being revealed has been that Madison is awful for revealing it, and that Shep is awful for having done it, and then telling Austen.  I think he told Craig, too, because Craig didn't react like he'd never heard it before, only that he didn't expect it to be said then... but somehow, uncharacteristically, Craig managed to keep his mouth shut about it.  Or maybe not...Naomie didn't seem shocked by the allegations, either.  Poor Danni, it's all so wretched, but no one is looking at her as less of a person after all this, just Shep and Madison. 

Makes you kind of wonder if things are all in working order with Shep, now that we know he has plenty of unprotected sex - he is able to spread disease and infections but has so far managed not to impregnate anyone?  Hmmm.  I won't be shocked if he somehow does find some poor woman he decides to settle down and have a family with one day, far from now, and the having children part ends up being an issue.

I like seeing the transition Cameran has made into being a parent and changing her priorities.  But I don't really like it when anyone says, "I've learned what's really important" when comparing previous life to parent life.  Just because traveling with friends to go skiing, smoke some weed, drink and have fun isn't what she's into now doesn't mean there is anything wrong with doing those things.  Instead of saying she's learned that being with Palmer is what's really important, maybe she could have said, "The priorities in my life have changed and now what's most important to me is being with Palmer."  It just seemed like it implied there is something wrong with doing those things, because now she's a mom and SOOOO SUPERIOR.  Maybe that's not how she meant it, though.

I'm glad Craig had one episode where he didn't act out.

[S06.E12: Who Put the Mad in Madison?]

I don’t think of Dani telling her friends that Madison hit on her boyfriend, and did it while also dating her friend, as gossip because she was directly involved.  It was her story to tell if she wanted, but that’s not the case with the secret Madison unleashed. I remember being pissed earlier in the season when Dani apologized to Madison for telling Craig what she did.  Madison was smug then, too, and certainly didn’t apologize for hitting on Dani’s man. I get why she wanted to lash out at Shep, he was asking for it, but using that information knowing it would hurt Dani too was horrid. 

It also sucked that Kathryn couldn’t at least give Dani a hug, or back her up by saying things like “That bitch!!!! I can’t believe she did that to you!” How many times has Dani been there for her and this time all Kathryn could manage was to mumble “just let it in one ear and out the other”. Sure, Kathryn, like you would do in the same situation? No, you would be humiliated and furious like Dani was, like anyone would be.  

Shep is a pig. Austen is a moron. Madison will shank everyone in the room if cornered. 

As much as I disliked Eliza in the first episode, I’ve come around now and really like her. She seems chill and fun to go on a trip with, she’s cute with her boyfriend who seems like a real sweetheart, she’s apparently not high maintenance. I’ve got no problem with who she seems to be as a person, and bringing Ashley around for drama is obviously part of her job on this show. 

[S15.E13: Week 11: Finale Part 2]

Hannah was upset that Jed slept with his "NOT-girlfriend" the night before he left for the show, and that proves there's no way he could have been ready for engagement, but after that night he supposedly didn't have more contact with her, and certainly didn't sleep with her again, so let's say it's true that Jed came into things expecting not to have any feelings for Hannah but then fell in love with her after all...how is this worse than her having sex with Peter multiple times just a few days before their engagement? How does that make her more ready for engagement, but makes Jed less ready?

I think if Hannah really loved Jed as much as she claimed to, then all of this could have been forgivable.   I mean, it's the plot to more than one romantic comedy - the whole "you dated me on a BET?!?!?!?!?!" "At first you were a bet, but then I fell in love with you for real!" formula - and the woman always forgives the man for the deceit and betrayal because in the end, their true love was what mattered.  In this case, it was like she was glad for the excuse to get out of things, AND she got to be a victim, so it was win-win for her.  Their stupid dance party and cutesy games she gushed about over the 2 days after the engagement were lame and seemed so forced, I have no doubt that once the cameras were gone and there was nothing left to do but just talk to each other, she was underwhelmed.  And likely he was, too.

I see Hannah like a young show dog - she has a beautiful, shiny coat, strong teeth, knows how to stand in place in all the right poses, can follow some commands, but she's not going to win anything because she just doesn't have enough maturity or discipline.  She may have the perfect form, but she also requires constant attention even while performing on the show floor, whimpers and barks too much, occasionally bolts during judging segments to go pee near the boy dogs, might hump one or two of them.  I think she would be a nightmare to date, much less marry.  Bullets dodged on all sides, as far as I'm concerned. 

I do feel bad for Jed's ex, and I hope one day he bumps into her father and has to face some consequences for all that shit he had the audacity to say about his daughter on national television.  Her dad gave them a trip to the Bahamas for his birthday, but he definitely didn't think they were dating?  What the hell ever, you talentless coward.

[S04.E12: Good Will Haunting]

Granted, I don’t watch this franchise with both eyes like I do RHoNY, but where was Juan’s actual party? It looked like everyone showed up to an outdoor haunted attraction that was open to the public ...  did they eventually go to a private, rented area for the cake, food and drinks? I’d be pretty let down to be invited to some Halloween attraction called a party after the high class as hell party at Monique’s. I know Robyn and Juan have a lower budget, but this is still supposed to be The Real Housewives of... and we the viewers are accustomed to a certain level of party porn that I’m not sure we should have to give up.  Is Robyn’s birthday party going to be over at the picnic tables at the State Fair?

[S04.E12: Good Will Haunting]

I just can’t get too upset about Michael grabbing the cameraman’s butt because I’m mad at BRAVO and their double standards as to how they treat their favorites compared to people they don’t like. I do think it was wrong, he absolutely should not have done whatever it was he did, the copious denials are old, it’s all icky.  BUT! All I can think about while people are acting like Michael killed a man, and BRAVO is bringing out the unseen footage, and everyone continues to want him and Ashley to be publicly flogged, is that this is so hypocritical when you consider what Nene Leakes did to a cameraman, and there were not only zero negative repercussions,  but she even got a fucking raise.

Nene violently attacked a man in a fit of rage, ripped his shirt, grabbed and shoved him around, everyone saw it on the show.  No question whether she did it or not, and yet she has felt no heat from it whatsoever.  She went on WWHL and said out loud that she had no regrets about it because she considers herself the victim in that situation, and Andy didn’t correct her ass like he should have. I don’t appreciate the double standard, and when it comes down to which was worse, in my opinion what Nene did was by far the worst of the two. Michael likes to grab men’s butts, Nene likes to drag people around with her bare hands (let us not forget the allegation that she also manhandled someone else on another occasion but she said “show me the footage” with a smirk and a gleam in her eye because she knew it wasn’t caught on video).  

I was sexually abused as a child, and have some permanent sensitivities because of it, but I don’t equate butt grabbing to rape.  I feel like Karen is reaching there, and never misses an opportunity to remind everyone that she was raped. I’m sorry that happened to her, but I also think it’s important to not use an awful experience like that to get attention, and that’s all I ever see with Karen.

Another example of that with Karen is how she has dragged out the mourning period for her parents.  It’s ok to grieve, it takes as long as it takes, we all do it differently. I’ve lost both of my parents too, I get it.  But she didn’t lose them at a young age, she lost them at a time when people sort of expect to lose their elderly parents.  It’s sad, but it’s not a tragedy, when someone lives a long, full life and dies of old age.  It’s hard, but you’re not really an orphan with no mommy and daddy when you are in your mid 50’s.  I had the same problem with Vicki Gunvalson going on and on about WHAT ABOUT MEEEE? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW???? when her mom died at 80-something.  These women were raised deep into adulthood by their parents, and then act like it’s so unfair that their parents were snatched from them before they were ready to face life.  Please stop dredging it up for pity, and in Karen’s case, also using it as a segway to try to turn your daughter into the next singing sensation. 

[S01: Week 3: July 22, 2019-July 26, 2019]

I’m desperate for Eric to stay because he’s one of the only articulate people there.  He might be able to converse about things other than, like, superficial stuff.

[S15.E11: The Men Tell All]

Yes, I guess I’m putting psychological/mental/personality disorder all under the same umbrella in his case.  I’m not qualified to diagnose him, but I have a lot of experience with disorders, my own and others, so his shows vividly to me, although I don’t know specifically what all of his challenges are. But man, they sure do manifest and present themselves in the form of asshole.  No fun for anyone involved.

[S15.E11: The Men Tell All]

They spent an entire hour trying to make Luke say words that he just doesn’t seem capable of saying.  He’s not bright, he’s not articulate, and he truly does seem to have some kind of mental disorder.  He’s infuriating, sure, but he’s also clearly limited when it comes to communicating. No one should have to go back and reword EVERYTHING  they say to “make sure [other people] understand him”.  He lives in a world where he truly believes he’s being misunderstood by most everyone he’s talking to, and that has to be incredibly frustrating. Hence all the fist clenching, he’s so sick of other people “twisting his words” when actually they heard him loud and clear the first time, thy just didn’t react in the way he wanted and expected them too. 

Last night reminded me a bit of a Real Housewives of New York season where Kelly Bensimon said all this awful, crazy sounding, snobby as hell stuff, specifically about and to Bethenny.  When Bethenny finally snapped at her, Kelly was SO CONFUSED and terrified because she could not comprehend that she was the one who instigated all of it.  The whole group of women went in on her, but finally Sonja recognized that they needed to just stop because something was very wrong with Kelly psychologically, and you can’t reason with someone in that state, nor should you attack them.

Also, living in Georgia myself, I know that where Luke comes from - Gainesville - it’s a very rural area, lots of country folk, simple living, not really on the cutting edge of things.  He would absolutely be considered a catch there, by girls who hadn’t been exposed yet to guys like Mike or Tyler. Church is huge, he presents himself as godly, he was likely never questioned about why he’s such an incredible douchebag before.  He came into this thinking he was the Ideal Man.  He thought he had the whole thing won on the first night. He thought this show would be one opportunity after another to show America what husband material looks like.  And instead, this happened.

I don’t like Luke at all, but I certainly feel a bit sorry for him.  He was coached to stop and think carefully before he answered any questions last night, which he did to a painful extreme, and then he still couldn’t come up with words that conveyed any true self awareness.  He needs a lot of professional help before he can ever be a good life partner for anyone, but he is cursed to never believe that he needs that help.  It’s the hardest part about personality disorders, to get the person to understand something is wrong inside them, and not with literally everyone else.