[S13.E06: Stop and Throw the Roses]

10 hours ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

Yes, I understand that she may not have meant it as a microagression. But that does not mean that Heather or the viewers get to tell Eboni that it isn't one. Just because some people here don't see it as a microagression doesn't mean that Eboni has no right to. The perception of white people that such things aren't microagressions doesn't negate the feeling of a Black person that it is.

Yes lawd!! It’s like we can’t have our own experiences because they don’t understand or have them. Just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s not happening. 

Also, I think Eboni explained the situation very well. Those who don’t get it or try to understand, JUST DON’T WANT TO. 

[S13.E05: How Nude]

2 hours ago, Lastwaltz said:

Point taken about this being a HW show. But the purpose of those seminars are so that we can all carry what we learned, or at least operate with a keener awareness, of these kinds of situations in our lives. That doesn't end when the seminar is over -- its purpose is to educate us so that we can act with that knowledge later. Intent is indeed valuable to consider, but how do we actually know what Luann's intent was? 

Just like you (general) can determine what is intended to be shade when it’s thrown, we can tell what the intent is behind the words being “thrown.” Think of it like when you’re with friends and family and there’s an inside joke or something. Others can’t pick it out. Only those familiar. We’re very familiar with LuAnn’s intent. It ain’t new. 

[S13.E05: How Nude]

30 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

Because when you add POC as HWs and they interact with their ignorant co-stars, race is bound to come up sooner or later.

Given the state of affairs in the US today, that is clearly not true. Besides, people keep saying they want the shows to be more real and less manufactured...nothing more real these days than America having to deal with the current state of race relations filtered to us via the interactions between the various HWs.

And it's not like there isn't anything else being offered on these shows. There are still the silly parties, the location and house porn, the occasional food porn...

I STAN you!!! 

[S11.E03: Sutton's Gotta Give]

Just finished and Crystal’s assessment was/is spot on. Also as a font said upthread Sutton was the perfect example of white fragility. She jumped into victim mode very quick. 

[S11.E03: Sutton's Gotta Give]

Rinna looked cute in the confessionals.

I don’t know if this has already been mentioned, but Kathy gives me Caitlyn. Every time I look at her, I see Caitlyn with softer features.

[S11.E03: Sutton's Gotta Give]

I don’t understand Sutton’s assessment that she has to fight to prove she’s not racist, unless she’s showing racist tendencies. I was raised in the heart of the Bible Belt and the racist around there are like Mario after he eats the mushroom, so I know them well. With that said, I don’t feel that all white people have to show me they’re not racist, because I don’t assume all are. I would, however, wonder why you’re trying to prove it and then that would lead me to think more of it. If she can’t be herself and not feel like she looks racist, then that says a lot. 

[S11.E03: Sutton's Gotta Give]

8 hours ago, Door County Cherry said:

That prank and reverse prank was everything a prank should be.  Regardless of what Sutton was saying or felt, it was a victimless prank.  It was light hearted.  In the end, the target was the original prankster.  

Not everyone knew at the same time.  When it came around to informing Sutton, instead of getting excited she was let in on the joke, she chose to play victim for not being informed sooner. And she blamed Crystal, the person who informed her. 

Sutton may be awkward but her tears were manipulative and they were aimed directly at the person of color who dared to think Sutton capable of being racist, saying something racist or believing something racist.  She even said that "the word racist" was the worst thing ever...worse than COVID.  I thought calling it a "word" instead of referring to the system of racism was so interesting. She's not just a "I don't see color" kind of person; she's arguably something worse.  She's a "being called a racist is worse than racism" kind of person. 

Weaponizing tears to look like the victim is a technique as old as time and she uses it because it works.  Even Kyle was susceptible to it when she said that she felt Crystal was being hard on Sutton.  I disagree.  I think Crystal gave Sutton multiple chances.  She was going to explain why "I see color" was outdated but Kyle and Sutton talked over her before Kyle, finally, told Crystal she'd let her speak.  

The next day, Crystal tried to have a conversation with Sutton about it and Sutton still made it about her.  

Crystal tried to let Sutton in on the prank so she wouldn't be left out and, instead of appreciating the effort, she was mad at her.  

She's trying to make it seem like she's a victim to Crystal's bullying so if Crystal ever tries insinuating that Sutton might unintentionally buy into a racist system again, it'll be dismissed as part of a bullying pattern instead of identifying something that might have a kernel of truth to it. 

All Sutton needed to do is actually listen to Crystal instead of acting defensive.  That's how you show you can be a mature woman about racial issues. 

On a lighter note, it cracks me up that Lisa and Garcelle are usually the two people who are punctual and on time and therefore get stuck together even with the issues between them waiting for the others.   "Look at that beam."  Heh.

 

I agree! 

[S13.E05: How Nude]

5 minutes ago, lamujerdecente said:

In America everything is about race. White folks found that out this past year. Some for the first time. As tired as many are of race in these shows and in the news, THINK how tired folks of color are of race affecting small things like their JOB, being afraid to call the police because of state violence, their home, we will just go back to living that way QUIETLY! let’s go back to just caring about animals to show we good humans!

SIGH. 
 

Leah really brings out the old lady in me. I want to tell her to stop talking like the gutter and please for the love of the sight of everyone around u, LEAH, buy a mirror. Use. It. 

It’s hard for people to grasp things they don’t go through and some will either sympathize or not. When it’s not about race to you (general) it’s because your race isn’t weaponized against you. They don’t know how it feels to walk in a store and be followed simply because of your skin. 
These things need to be seen. It’s not a card and to say that is offensive. Just say you (general) don’t know or you’re not educated on the subject. 

[S13.E05: How Nude]

8 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

None of the HWs really know what the other has gone through pre-HWs show, so they should all choose their words wisely.  

I think everyone is well aware of the stereotypes some of us spoke about, including the Housewives, especially within this last year.  Some just choose to be willfully obtuse. Like a font said, these conversations are necessary to have, but people would have to be open to hear it.

[S13.E05: How Nude]

1 hour ago, chewycandy said:

It gets very tiresome very quickly for POC to deal with what they do on a daily basis. 

She absolutely knew what she was doing with her constant sly smiles when she said “I’m not going to go THERE” and simply saying “angry woman.”

Why does Eboni bringing up her education trigger Luann? Aviva doing it didn’t bring out that type of reaction.

Eboni was right in that no one called Leah angry. Ramona said she was being defensive and aggressive. Sonja said she was crying earlier and to leave her alone. Meanwhile Eboni is going through the same thing with her grandmother and was respectfully trying to get her point across while the others kept interrupting her. It was completely frustrating to see. I respect the hell out of Eboni after seeing that. I have always enjoyed Luann but that? Was extremely telling about her character, plus insecurities. 

Amen to all of this!!

[S13.E05: How Nude]

1 hour ago, Hiyo said:

Spoiler alert: one doesn’t have to actually say all 3 words to invoke that stereotype, sometimes just saying they are angry is enough. Just ask some of the Black women on this forum.

Chile....

[S13.E05: How Nude]

1 hour ago, Mar said:

Ramona is annoyed because Eboni is running 45 minutes late for lunch and doesn’t seem to care? Oh my God, I agree with Ramona yet again!

I thought the screen said they got to LuAnn’s 12 minutes after Ramona and crew arrived?

[S13.E05: How Nude]

1 hour ago, Feech said:

If Eboni is going to play the race card every time she is in the wrong than it is going to become very tiresome very quickly.

I am really impressed that Luann wasn’t “fragile” and pushed back told her to leave her house. Ramona should have done that to Leah as well.

Eboni doesn’t bring anything to the table. She doesn’t have a big house, a family, a boyfriend or even a real business that could be a storyline like Bethenny. She only brings a gargantuan ego and a sense of entitlement garnished with a perpetual sense of grievance.

Another casting fail like Leah.

Sonja doesn’t have any of those things either. Oh, she has her ran down townhouse... Almost forgot lol

[S13.E05: How Nude]

18 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

Besides wasn’t it Lisa Rinna who started the whole “why are you so angry” trope with Denise? We’ve heard this line before people, on Housewives, ad nauseam.

Lisa was also calling Denise out alone and not in a group full of angry women. 

[S13.E05: How Nude]

I think people don’t understand because it’s not their “blues” or something they don’t have to deal with daily. I get it, but just because those words aren’t triggering to you or you don’t understand why it was perceived the way it was, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
Example: I’m not homeless, but I know there are a lot of homeless people everywhere and I could never speak to or diminish their experience or walk of life because I’m not walking the same path. 
If you are specifically calling out the black woman for things the white women have displayed w/in that same moment, that is an issue. Race is an issue and trying to act like it’s not is an issue. Now, that’s not saying that any of you here feel this way, but it’s obvious some want to act like it doesn’t exist or isn’t problematic as if we can’t see the play on words. You do not have to say angry “BLACK” woman for it to be implied. Why? Because we’re already perceived as angry and feared. She didn’t use “black” because she knew it would’ve been an issue, but she (thinking it was clever but was still seen) tried to slide it on in there when she was angry herself.

[S13.E05: How Nude]

32 minutes ago, Avaleigh said:

Leah is so tiresome that I don't even want to post about any of my issues with her. She thrives on attention so to me, the best thing that can be done is to ignore her and hope that she goes away. (Although I'm not super hopeful about that since she seems to dominate the RHNY discussion right now on social media in general.) It does sort of remind me of Brandi. She'll get dumped from the show eventually but I don't think it'll happen this season as much as many of us would like for this to be the case.

Wrt to Eboni and Leah being late, I have sympathy for Eboni on the topic of hair (I'm in the same boat and know exactly how difficult it is) but I do think that she and Leah should have arranged to have their glam squads come earlier.  Being on time is just common courtesy. Bringing up the emancipation proclamation was totally unnecessary and irrelevant. Ramona isn't acting like she owns Eboni because she wants her to be on time. Ramona was equally annoyed at Leah for being late. This didn't have to be turned into a racial issue.

I don't really think that this fight came across as fake but I do agree with your other points. All of the ladies got loud at one point but Eboni is the only one who is labeled as angry. True, Luann did not specifically call Eboni an "angry black woman" but I can see how the inference was there. Why haven't Leah, Sonja or Ramona been labeled as angry during this trip? 

As for the comments about education, I wouldn't have brought it up the way that Eboni did. Maybe it would have gone down better if she'd specified that she's had more formal education. It came across a little as 'I'm up here in terms of education and the rest of you are down here.' To be clear, I don't think she meant it that way (in fact it was just the opposite) but I can see why the others might feel a little prickly about the comment.

Lmao though that Luann thinks she speaks three languages. We've all heard her French so who is she kidding?

Education was brought up by LuAnn and Eboni let it be known that just because she uses certain words doesn’t mean she’s uneducated. Sometimes you have to put people in their place when they’re being belittling. 
 

On the time issue, I get it because I’m the one who’s always waiting on someone because I’m always on time, but they should t act like she’s the first to be late. They just need to keep the same energy they have for others. 12 minutes wasn’t making it breaking them.

[S13.E05: How Nude]

17 minutes ago, CrinkleCutCat said:

Eboni should have reminded everyone that her grandmother is at deaths door too so they could have let her use that as her excuse for ‘freaking out over everything’ as Leah did.

 

Another point I meant to make and skipped right on past it.

[S13.E05: How Nude]

8 hours ago, nichelle said:

Okay, I'll give it a shot.

Watching that scene back, almost all were speaking with raised voices. Ramona even became frustrated, stood up and shouted. Leah was yelling when she left. The educated LuAnn at one point started shouting. Yet, the one person being called out as angry was Eboni. Are black women especially aware of when this term is used? Definitely. It's a stereotype. In general, there can be a lack of understanding and awareness of experiences of marginalized groups (ie white fragility, discomfort). And when it is raised as an issue by a member of the marginalized group, they are perceived as making everything about race when it is their actual, day to day experience.

Ok!!!
I should’ve just kept scrolling and co-signed your post. 

[S13.E05: How Nude]

8 hours ago, Joan van Snark said:

Is Eboni going to turn EVERYTHING into a racial topic?  Admonishing Ramona for her 'white fragility' because she was annoyed at all the shouting and asked everything to be quiet???? WT everliving F???  So Ramona is not allowed to be annoyed by shouting because she's white???? Someone please explain, cuz it doesn't make any sense to me.

I don’t think you (Ramona) should be annoyed by shouting when you’re also shouting yourself LOL. Hearing problem be damned. If she can listen to herself shout then....

Eboni was correct in her assessment. No one (on the show unless I missed it) used any of those terms regarding Leah. It was oh her grandma, penis blah blah blah. Not one time was she called angry (which she clearly was,) nor was she told to stop shouting (which she clearly was.) You don’t have to say angry “black” woman for the implication to be there. There are ways to say things w/o actually saying them. And only using the angry term with Eboni, that is exactly what she was doing. She did so because she wanted to “knock” Eboni down some because she had the “audacity” to come into her home and point out the obvious stating facts. 
Unfortunately race, as touchy as it is, is a topic and something we deal with daily. I’m very clear on this is not all white people as I have white friends I adore and they adore me and we have each others back always, but it doesn’t negate the fact that these are the things that we have to deal with. 
So, again, I’m glad Eboni isn’t letting it ride. There was some “Karen” activity going on. LuAnn and Ramona wanted to have their “elitism and classism” and their say on the way they (Leah and Eboni) spoke or words they used, but when Eboni came back at them, they wanted to retreat and all of a sudden Eboni is angry. Voices were raised by many, but mostly because everyone was trying to talk over the other. Sonja is yelling every episode. They (well really LuAnn) should’ve came with something else. 

[S13.E05: How Nude]

8 hours ago, Marley said:

Leah is ruining the show. I can’t even stand looking at her or watching her fake over the top antics.

If someone doesn’t wanna talk about sex they don’t have to.

I’m rewatching RHONY right now and I’m on season 7 and Heather isn’t my fave or anything but I rather have her then Leah.

Sonja thinks she’s better then any guy I guess. Seems rude lol.

Nude painting is not something I would be interested in.

Why doesn’t Leah just go home if her grandma is so close to death. She doesn’t have to stay in the Hampton’s the whole time. I rather she leave too lol.

Why does Leah keep standing up if she has vertigo.

What is Leah raging about at dinner. It’s pretty obvious what Ramona doesn’t want to hear. Just don’t be fucking vulgar in front of her. 

Sonja is so much more watchable when she’s not wasted out of her mind. 

Luann came off horribly at the lunch. The superior Countess seemed to be back. She’s getting on Eboni for yelling but Ramona is screaming. Yikes. She proved Ebonis point. Ramona can be an idiot but i think Luann actually thinks she’s somehow better then Eboni so that’s why she got all mad at the educated comment. Eboni is very educated it’s a fact why would Luann take such offense to that? 

I like Eboni and think she’s a good addition so far but I don’t get her friendship with that try hard bitch Leah. Is it forced by production?

Remove Leah and this show would be so much better. I would even take the wack job Kelly Bensimon over Leah at this point. Even Aviva! Anyone is better then Leah. I’m blanking on someone worse then Leah lol.

LuAnn took offense because it’s true. I’m also glad Eboni called that ish what it was. LuAnn’s superiority was shining bright. She knew exactly what she was doing when she called Eboni angry and I’m glad Eboni called that out too. I deal with this at work. I can say the same exact thing, in a better “office appropriate” tone, than my coworker/friend and I’m looked at as angry or hostile just because I’m making my point. It’s annoying!

I also like the fact that Sonja let it be known that she wasn’t bothered. LuAnn wanted to make it seem as everyone was offended when it was only her uneducated self. 

[S05.E09: The Doctor is Out]

4 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Since Dallas & BH are my two favorite of the housewives I often compare the two.

Tiffany and Brandi remind me of Erika and Kyle on BH. Tiffany and Erika are the type who could have a good time without getting wild, without being giggly and gregarious. Brandi and Kyle like to run around and be silly, really let loose, and laugh until they pee their pants. I am the former, so I get the pain of feeling like you're a party pooper just because you're not a party animal. Some of us are totally happy just spending time with friends, having a meal, chatting, watching a show together, etc. Just because we're not dancing on table tops or jumping into the pool doesn't mean we're not happy and having a good time. I don't ever try to put a stop to other people's fun, and I don't think Tiffany or Erika do either. If other people's idea of fun is getting drunk, running around with a dildo, jumping into pools, have at it! Just leave us reserved gals alone. 

I wonder what the other women thought of Mama Dee's shade! I was reminded of my own mother when D'Andra said her mother thought everything was due to jealousy. I think every other mom is like this "She's just jealous. They're just jealous." I wonder if Dee dealt with a lot of jealous women her day as a beautiful young blonde beauty queen so she thinks everything is due to jealousy. Honestly, Kari did sound a little jealous imo when she was like who cares if Tiffany is a doctor. 

I was warming up to Kary when she had Tiffany at her house. She actually seemed quite real and welcoming, until she got on to Tiffany about leaving. 

I can see jealousy because the fact of the matter is, Tiffany is the only one in that show that can stand on their own and doesn’t need her husband to maintain a lifestyle. Kary is at the bottom of that list because she has to stay married to keep any sort of change. 

[S05.E09: The Doctor is Out]

If this is just going to be a shit on Tiffany season, I’m out lol. I’m over it so I can only imagine how she must feel living it. 

[S05.E08: Austin, We Have a Problem]

Kameron is insecure because she knows she is and sounds like an idiot. She always want to hone in on people’s etiquette, but can’t take someone telling her the correct words so she won’t sound foolish. I would think in all the high society gatherings, she would atleast want to seem like she has more brains than Barbie. 

[S11.E01: C U Next Tuesday?]

On 2/17/2021 at 8:58 PM, Keywestclubkid said:

Ok Jackie with the snatch of all snatches ... I don’t know where I heard it but I heard it ... lol 

And T you did spread a rumor.. you went all around that party telling everyone that you could ... that is not hearing the rumor that’s Spreading 

And wasn’t even trying to be discreet and keep it “in the family” meaning within the cast. 

[S05.E06: Another One Bites the Crust]

5 hours ago, swankie said:

I think Kam was going for meticulous.  And she sure is extra sensitive to everything Tiffany does. She needs to lighten up.  Good grief!

She’s extra sensitive to everything. Every season is the same mess. She can go!