[90 Day Fiancé: Self-Quarantined]

Corny reminds me of the "We both like soup" lady in the movie, Best of Show. She's dumber than a box of rocks and as deep as a glass of water. Some guys seem to like that. The bigger the bolt-ons, the lesser the brain activity. 

I never thought I'd like Annie and David but they are great together. 

Annnndreiiii, is a goon. He's a monosyllabic asshole. He thinks he's hot and I bet he'll end up cheating and knocking up some waitress or stripper. I loathe him.

Colt and his mama act like a married couple. It's a strange relationship. They both bore me to tears. 

[S01.E11: May the Breast Man Win]

 Parker was laughing about the 'breastfeeding joke' in a previous episode and even did a selfie with Jenna making light of the joke. Now he's pissed off about. Parker can't seem to pick a lane. 

Jenna would rather lie, and continue to bone the chef than establish healthy boundaries and be honest about her previous relationship with Johan. This is not good. Adam owns very sharp knives and gets mad very quickly. 

Georgia's constant sexual innuendos is borderline harassment.  I have a feeling she enjoys going after other women's men. It makes her feel powerful. But if she gets the man, she'll use him, and dump him soon after. It's not cool. 

[S11.E15: Two Moms, Their Daughter, and a Baby]

What a boring season finale. 

How much did Maddie get paid to bellow & moan on camera? Does she get extra $ to have her water break on camera? How about the gratuitous shot of her squatting in a tub?

I hope this is the end to the  Sister Skank Travelling Peen show.

At this point, they've covered it all. Unless they repeat storylines, like discussing if Meri will get another wet bar, or Janelle will get a jacuzzi tub in case any of her other kids want to plunk a grandchild in it. We've already seen the whole mess of building their cult de sac paradise in LV. 

[S04.E08: Stranger In A Strange Land]

I've known men like Tom. "Thomas" if you're nasty. It gives them life to erode a woman's sense of worth. The quickest cut is to make a snarky comment about weight. Even worse for a woman like Darcey who is beauty obsessed and superficial. That comment will stick with her for a long time to come. She'll starve herself, get liposuction, and survive on vodka enemas and martini smoothies because she'll believe what Tom says of her whether she's at a healthy weight or not. Darcey will continue the cycle of dating emotional abuser losers until she truly learns to value herself, instead of crying in bed speaking new age platitudes found on a Pinterest self-help board. 

Face it, Ed is in the driver's seat at the moment. He can help Rose and her son get out of poverty. He knows it. He's spoke of it. "Does she love me for me?"  Who would? Let's put physical looks aside, Ed has done nothing but complain the entire trip to the Philippines. He's screeched like a little girl whenever he's encountered an experience different from the pampered life he has in the USA. He's not humbled by it, instead he's changed from "She's the love of my life" and "I want to marry Rose" to "She wants me for my money" or "I just wanna date her and see what happens."   Let's face it, Ed wanted to pop his cherry, so to speak with a very young girl. Guys like him do this all the time. They go to 'sex vacations'  It's an ugly disgusting reality. 

BGL is a lot like Ed. She does't want to marry Usman because she respects him, or sees him as an equal. What she wants is a young sex boi toy to control. She wants to go back to the States with him, smirk and show him off to her friends, brag that she's having lots of sex. 

Stephanie isn't bi. She wants attention. She's been treated like a glass princess all her life. Erika isn't having it, and I'm glad she's calling out Stephanie. 

David is like a repeat of Ceasar all over again. I didn't think there were people out there that naive or stupid. I was wrong. If Lana is indeed real, I'll give her top marks for draining this guy out of over $100,000 and 7 wasted years of life. 

Geoffrey makes my skin crawl. I would never have met him in person. He's like a Ted Bundy with bad tattoos. 

[S01.E10: Big Deck Energy]

Not a fan of Jenna, BUT is she not allowed to have a prior relationship? I don't understand  what's disgusting about Georgia and Jenna dating the same guy. It's not like it was at the same time. Adam is definitely off kilter. He's got a psycho crazed look. He could go full Fatal Attraction at any moment. 

Ciara decided to use reverse psychology and flirt with Georgia. Smart move. Paget still ended up in bed with Ciara and Georgia went off to strum her guitar alone. 

 

[S04.E07: Who's Crying Now]

Thin-lipped Tom thinks he's all that and bag of crisps because he lost some weight, most likely for shitting too much from drinking the coffee he's shilling online. He got his 15 minutes of fame by being a boorish clown to a woman with a penchant for plastic surgery and low self-esteem. *slow clap* Hope you sleep well, you Zoolander weasel-faced dickbag.

There is no words to express the disgust I have for the Jabba the Hut- Fred Flinstone mash-up that is called Ed.  The stink of mayo, sweat, and cheap cologne permeated a dark cloud that infected the Philippines. He can stick his elfish nose in the air all he wants but he looked utterly ridiculous in his bright orange shirt and shoes toting behind a woman who looks like a child. I'd gladly give Rose and her son a ticket to a better life if it could save her from Ed's creepy whispers and sweaty embrace in this twisted Lolita fantasy. 

I fast-forward past the faux bi couple, Babyhurl,  and the sociopathic, backward cap wearing Geoffrey. 

Avery and the Bug-Eyed Smooth Operator remind me of the Barfy British dude and the lady with the cute baby Lucy. 

[S12.E14: Baby Steps]

Rename the show: Grody Hates Meri. 

[S01.E09: Parker's Big Adventure]

 First of all, I think Adam has a personality disorder.  He went completely stalker with Malia on a previous season because she didn't want him. He likes to thrill of the chase but doesn't know what to do if a fully functioning person wants a committed relationship with him. Previews next week show how the mood pendulum swings quite violently for him. Anyway, He has always given me creepy, sadistic vibes. 

Jenna. I have yet to see her take charge and do a decent job for the guests.  It was a 100 percent her responsibility to make the beach picnic look presentable. She's too busy canoodling with Adam in the galley to even care. Doesn't Glenn see this dynamic playing out?

 Madison is doing the work of two people. I'd feel bitchy too if the chief stew was sticking her tongue down the throat of the chef while the other stew is flirting with the Bosun in the laundry room. 

Parker. Yes, he's annoying at times but he does take initiative and works better than Paget and Ciara combined. He's obviously a hard worker and gets along well with the guests. If I was Captain, I would utilize that enthusiasm. Unless the editing is completely wonky, I feel Madison and Parker are doing the bulk of the work with little if no recognition. 

[S11.E13: The Heat is On]

It was funny to watch Scari Meri melting down over the fake fire evacuation. God forbid she loses her Granny's polygamy plates, the LulaNO rags and sharpie markers for her clown brows. It would be a travesty for the polygamy world if they were lost forever.

Creeper Christine wanted to help by giving Meri some of the funny pills her doctor prescribes. Mama's little helper, to quote the Rolling Stones. "It'll make you very very happy, Meri."  Christine, whispers. "All you'll want to do is sing off key, do cartwheels on Coyote Poop Pass, and eat non-existent nachos."

Meanwhile, Grody is running around like a chicken on a hot plate... His last remaining  frizzled locks were flying around looking for a place to nest. He's pulled so thin, because he has to move Scari's stuff and his one TRU luv Sobchin's assortment of Precious Moments, "God loves Polygamists" commemorative mugs, and a few inspiration quotes that the kids painted during Craft Night. It was a way to  help ease the panic attacks because when they hear a random car alarm go off and think it is the cops coming for them. 

Thank the Polygamist Gods that  Slothy Janelle made it in time to Maddie's place for arrival of baby grand-girl #2. There was no available dirty jacuzzi tubs for Maddie so she'll have to make do giving birth on a dirty mattress in a patchouli scented birthing centre because HOSPITALS are so Icky. 

Grody flies in soon after to join Janelle leaving behind a fume of hair spray and Axe body deodorant  in his path. He complains about how busy the wives keep him moving here there and everywhere. If only...they stayed in Las Vegas.  He safely stored  Laughing Christine and one of the other kids, I think it was #12, in the overhead compartment. 

Stayed tuned for next week. More bellowing and wailing awaits as another child will be pulled into the Brown Cash Cow for ratings. 

 

 

 

 

[S04.E05: Our Lips Are Sealed]

I love how all these folks start out with excitement as they are about to meet the "love of their life" and then it all spirals down from there. It ends up being a storm of  weeping fits and angry tantrums. 

My advice. Drop your expectations. Meet people in real life. Take it slow. 

Of course, that doesn't make for good tv but it's clear that this type of show may no longer exist in the future. Unless they plan on FaceTime/Skyping for the remainder of their lives. 

[S11.E12: Robyn vs. Kody]

Sobbin definitely has Grody by the short n' curlies. And now, all of a sudden their kids are her kids?    "STAHP FREAKN' OUT MAH KIDS." 

I ended up fast-forwarding through most of the show because quite frankly the Brown family housing crisis is insignificant these days.  

I hope they end up in tents on Coyote Poop Pass. 

[S11.E11: Being Gay and Religious]

I wanted to grab Grody by the mop and shake him. What an asshole. Truely did not want to ride a bike so let her be. Instead, he ends up mocking her. "There's no crying in baseball."  Fucking jerk. She's a little girl. She doesn't know grown up movie references.  It's fairly clear that Grody favours his kids with Sobbin. I doubt he'd scold or mock Prince Sol or Princess Ari. Thank God Truely has other brothers and sisters that will look out for her because her sperm donor is a complete moron.

NEVER forget in Vegas when the sister skanks were away on another girls trip, and he ignored when Truely get sick and the older kids kept telling him she needed medical attention but he was too busy flinging his glorious locks around the bowling alley. Truely almost died when her kidney's shut down. 

I'm also with Meri that God doesn't give two shits about where these people live. They're all insufferable at this point. Sobbin cryin at the lunch table about being in Chicago but her fambly are melting down at home. Well maybe the girl that gets the  shakes needs to see a medical profession instead of Sobbin and Grody carrying the girl to her room. 

Mariah and Audrey seem really good together. Mariah use to be a negative sourpuss and I've never seen her this happy. I'm glad for her. That's hard for me to say because she's always irritated me. 

52 minutes ago, winsomeone said:

Why is that poor child so afraid to ride a bike? Her mother's phobias? Never saw a kid who didn't want to learn..to the point of having scraped knees and elbows from trying usually? Most learn well before they are five. My one grandson was just three..but that is early I guess?

Truely may be on the spectrum. I don't know for sure but she's not able to manage things as easily as the other kids.  I feel for her. 

[S07.E10: Worth The Weight]

Twit is an athlete according to Jessica.  hahahahaha.  Continue to feed the delusion. Twit thought she was an Olympian when she was handed that medal. It was like in kindergarten when everyone go a reward for tinkling in the bathroom like a proper little lad or lady instead of in their underoos. No hot tubs were  around, so Twit got the award.  

If my friend gave me a framed picture of ourselves for a housewarming gift, I'd be a little disappointed. I want a fruit basket, or a Winners gift card. Come on, spend a little, Whitney!

Whitney a good mom? No Babs, you're wrong. She wasn't paying attention to Harper while she was pushing her in the swing.  She was pushing Harper rather aggressively for her age, and the kid was really airborne and probably vomited afterwards.

Whit is eating up the attention from Chase and Buddy. Whit thinks herself a hot commodity and the boys can't resist her earthquaking twerks. The cottage cheese thighs slapping brings all the boys into her yard.  🙄 Buddy was laying it on thick in the car, and it was actually a funny moment from Buddy. Whitney isn't fully respecting her fake romance with Chase and I hope it is followed up with a fake break up. 

 

[S11.E10: A Breaking Point]

5 hours ago, Barbara Please said:

hit the wrong button...delete

 

[S04.E03: Risky Business]

How is it possible that Yolanda is that stupid? I've read stories about men and women who fall prey to  romance scammers and wonder how they could be so naive. These folks are prime examples of how gullibility and desperation make one an easy target. 

Lil Ed is a BIG fool to think Rose loves him for him. She wants a way out of poverty and he's the ticket. It's just reality.  Its extra disturbing that Rose resembles a 13 year old girl. 

I don't mind Varyna. She's direct and realistic. Her yellow 80's power suit was fug tho. Talking online doesn't equate in instant chemistry in person. Yet, Geoff seemed utterly shocked that she wasn't going to sleep with him the first night. 

Ash gives me the creeps...big time. I've also met a guy who said he was a relationship coach. It's code for "unemployed player"

I have a fairly strong stomach, but I almost vomited when Usman and Babygirl Lisa started making out in the car. 

 

 

[S11.E10: A Breaking Point]

Cody's narrative always results in victimhood.  He now claims the move to Flagstaff was forced upon them, and that he's angry about it. It's a shit sandwich but with a beautiful view. 

WTF is talking about? He wanted to move there!!!! His grand scheme included a whiteboard and a presentation in Vegas. 

He's an absolute nitwit megalomaniac. 

And. His kids are suffering for it. 

In the meantime, his wives sit idly around. Meri looks like a mute clown with  painted on brows and spray  tan. Janelle has a huge mole that needs looking at and she's striving unsuccessfully towards sloth-hood. Christine is bonkers and appears to be snorting adderall in the kitchen. And finally, wife numero uno, Sobbin Robyn thinks God is an ATM machine and a realtor. "God will find us a rental."  I don't think religion works that way, Sobbin. 

[S08.E10: Ashley B.'s Story]

The first thing I noticed about Ashley B was the fake nails. One of the mysteries of the universe is how one with extra girth can wipe themselves, but with those talons it would certainly cause some bodily injury.

I get very angry when I see children neglected. She couldn't even lift and hold her sweet baby because she was so big. How's that for good god please don't procreate ever again? Her older child seemed over it, and I don't blame her. She never had a parent ever... Just a tub of lard in a push up bra.  

I tried to summon up some sympathy for Ashley but could not grasp leaving her two young children behind (again) and heading off to Houston with her sister. She lost a little weight but the wheels fell off the bus because things didn't go her way. 

 

[Social Media: What's Up With Her?]

On 3/1/2020 at 1:24 PM, teachermomma3 said:

This outfit looks terrible.  I'm a plus sized woman and I am comfortable in my skin, but I would never wear this.

Her Fupa is moving south, and those booties make her legs look like stove pipes. 

20 hours ago, Donut Bear said:

He looks like a serial killer.

[S11.E09: This Land is Your Land...or Hers?]

How to settle the land dispute:

Buy 4 modular homes, and plop them each on a section of land. Get a hat, put the wives names in it and pull the names. First name, gets first pick of what home they want, rinse & repeat. Easy peasy. 

None of them need big houses anymore. If they have large family gathering they can rent out a community hall. 

They're such lame losers and most people in the real world would never dig themselves into such a financial pit. The grifters have to grift. No doubt Coyote Poop Pass will be left in the dust and sold off in an auction. The Travelling Sister Skanks and Sperm donor will be off to another state to grift. 

 

[S07.E09: Amends Between Friends]

We got to see Twit fill her gob not once, but three times.  The camera person made extra sure to zoom right to the food, and right up to the huge forkful going in her mouth. I swear she ate the entire bread basket plus that gross greasy pasta.  🤢   When she was cooking eggs, I thought she was making it for herself and Ryan. Nope. Just herself. 

The fact that Chase is acting threatened by Buddy's faux adoration of Twit is hilarious.  That storyline is so far fetched.

The Paris trip is paid by TLC and not Ryan and Twit's fake business.  BUT she's so MAD at her Bro. Paris...ugh. How dare he!

Ashley just happens to have extra air miles so her and Todd can go too. Right...

I hope Babs washed her hands with bleach after rubbing Twit's disgusting feet. Twit, as usual, splays herself on the couch and expects her elderly mother to cater to her. Meanwhile, she is acting fake concerned about their health. 

Does she have nothing to wear but cropped tops and yoga pants?

 

[S01.E05: Shmexual Shmension]

I detest Adam & Jenna. This episode was a barf-a-thon watching them flirt and kiss. 

Georgia and Paget are gross. Stop flirting with each other. It's so disrespectful to Ciara. 

Madison and Parker both seem to be caring people. I don't know why they're getting the brunt of the criticism from their bosses. Ciara was in the wrong leaving the deck when Parker was having lunch. You don't leave the deck empty even if it appears the guests are napping. Also, Madison seems to be taking on more workload than the other two. 

[S08.E08: Seana's Story]

If you google "Dr. Now's diet plan" it comes up with several links to it. She had no trouble finding the number for the pizza place, but can't goggle a diet plan?

Seana is 'dead inside' Her eyes were empty. Her face, expressionless.  She has no ambition. Tour bus driver? A hell no. It's just the first thing that popped into her head. She didn't seem to have any hobbies or interests besides eating. 

As for her Mom. Yeah, maybe the relationship seemed off there, but if she was to stick around, I don't think it would have made any difference with Seana. Seana is bound and determined to be miserable for her entire life. Therapy only works if you're willing to do the work, and the same goes for diet and exercise. Seana expected the magic miracle of surgery as a way out and it doesn't work that way. 

 

 

[S01.E04: Baby on Board]

"Onions" Adam is such a douche. I loathe him. He has the nerve to run up to tell the Captain how to Captain the sailboat. Who does he think he is? I know what he is: he's a mediocre cook with a bad attitude.  And the single Mom he dated dodged a bullet by getting rid of Onions. Can you imagine having a guy like Adam talk about being a good 'dad' in one breath, and then calling kids 'loud little shits' the next? Please, for the love of humanity, get snipped. 

Parker is a bit dim, but he's tender hearted. Not many guys would sleep out in the galley to give space for another crew member. I'm sure why Piglet is jumping down his throat every chance he gets. He's seems to want to flex his muscles and prove he's a big man. 

In what world is Jenna considered attractive? I find her the least attractive out of the female crew. Besides, her personality sucks. She's not funny, unless you call mean-spiritness humorous. Makes sense why Adam likes her. She seems to coast by and expects the less experienced staff to take the brunt of the work while she giggles and flirts with Onions. 

Poor parenting is hauling a 1 month old on a sailboat. Seems like a recipe for disaster. Baby overboard. 

 

[S07.E08: Super Heavyweight Ladies]

God, she's vile. 

She flops herself across the entire couch and expects Chase to clean up after the party. She does this often (takes up a lot of physical space) and expects others to cater to her. 

And ugh, to the way she speaks to her parents. The eye rolling, the shrill protests, the defiant nature.  How pathetic to be 35 years old and stealing stuff from your Mother's china cabinet. 

She was rude and mean to her Greensboro friends. It's all about the bros now. Which by the way, is an aggravating term. Tal has done nicely for himself, but Twit was dismissive and plain rude to him. He's not a Golden Girl. He's a young man who has maintained a job and left middle school, unlike Twit.. He's an adult. . And this is a guy she (fictitiously) wanted to adopt a child with. She's so damn fickle. Thank goodness nothing came of that story, because she'd quickly get tired of parenting and Tal would end up a single parent. 

I find the "athletic" storyline the biggest fraud of all. She traded her passion as a dancer and replaced by weight lifting. The dancing was a plausible since that was got her discovered in the first place.  She twerked her way into TLC. But a woman who barely can get down the stairs is able to lift over 200 lbs of weight above her head? Not likely. A sloth who can't clean her own house has the determination and drive to train for a competition?  No way. 

What's next TLC. Twit wants the first fat Astronaut?

[S07.E07: Drinking Buddy]

1 hour ago, TurtlePower said:

Buddy. Looks. Terrible. 

I’m all for people chasing their dreams, but Buddy and comedy are a bad fit. He just doesn’t have it—joking around with your friends and performing in public are 2 completely different things. He doesn’t have the wit it takes to be funny (and he has zero confidence). 

Also, he looks like shit. He’s always been a chub but it makes you wonder if he’s using food more now to cope. 

THIS. Hard living will do that to you. If I saw him on the street, I'd surmise he was in his mid-50's. Also, he has the personality of a sloth. Sloths are cute and Buddy is not, but I'd imagine if they talked, they'd sound like Buddy: V.e.r.y...s.l.o.w...a.n.d....m.u.m.b.l.y.