babyminx

I'll get my easier thoughts out first since I have quite a bit to say about Shawniece and Jephte. Jaclyn & Ryan: I'm going to hold my judgement on Ryan because I'm not yet sure if his fairy tale enthusiasm is all for show or if that's just who he truly is. Jaclyn could possibly get tired of it in the long run because she seems like the type that would like to be showered with that stuff at first but then settle into normalcy as time goes on. I'm a bit wary of her still referring to her dead fiance as "the love of my life" (I don't want to disregard her feelings though) because that might trigger Ryan to feel like he has to out-do the fiance and make comparisons, causing Jaclyn to turn on Ryan to defend the fiance. I also didn't like that he didn't go along with her game. It's supposed to be silly fun and now Jaclyn probably thought, "My fiance used to love to play this game." I didn't think they needed to lie to the other couples about having sex; a simple, "We're not comfortable answering that question" would've sufficed. Lying just makes them look sketchy. Molly & John: I like that John is building the relationship at a pace that is comfortable for Molly. Although he seems like the frat-bro type when he's having fun, I think he's also a person that can be serious when need be. I side-eyed Molly when she was describing how she and John are so alike and that's why their relationship works so well/is better than the others (also John's comment about "winning" against other couples). To me, it came off as humble-bragging. First of all, other relationships are not lesser than just because they're not declaring themselves soulmates at first sight (although that's more Ryan's thing). Secondly, it's only been a few days...there's still time for shit to hit the fan (but I do want them to make it as a couple). Shawniece & Jephte: Where do I even begin? I wish I could be their tough love and voice of reason friend because they both need it. I'm not sure why I'm so heavily invested in wanting them to make it as a couple, but I just see so much potential and I HATE that it's being flushed down the toilet. I truly believe that they are a good match but don't have the right guidance to figure it out. I'll start with the good though. I thought they had a nice interaction during the hike up the falls. I know we all hate when Dr. Pepper talks about putting together opposite personalities to bring out the best in the other, but I think I can agree with her this time (gasp!). Even though Jephte was cautious about climbing up the falls and wanted Shawniece to be cautious as well, I liked that her "keep on trucking" attitude pushed him to continue and finish with her. Psshh, forget Husband/Wife and Mr./Mrs. shirts for matching honeymoon outfits; Shawniece and Jephte looked so fly in their Jamaica gift shop clothes! I'll come back to the paddleboard incident, but I thought it was playful and kind of flirty when Jephte was carrying Shawniece upside-down to the chairs after her foot was cut, which leads me to believe there's more to the "I told you" moment than what we saw. Okay, time to vent my frustrations. @Soup333, I saw your post in the Newleyweds episode thread about this relationship being like a Chinese finger trap toy. I absolutely agree with that analogy, and the constant "pulling" is the reason why this relationship isn't turning out to be what both of them expected it to be. Jephte, it's been a few days since the wedding. Yes, you don't know her that well yet but you know more about her now than you did when she walked down the aisle. Please upgrade her from "stranger" to "acquaintance" status. Shawniece was correct when Jephte said, "But I don't know you" and she replied, "But you're getting to know me." Shawniece, a title does not a marriage make. She keeps saying things like, "I'm your wife now" or "You're my husband" but I haven't heard her say (and please somebody correct me if I'm wrong) anything about what she expects out of the roles of husband and wife in a marriage. I think she likes the status of wife and husband titles but hasn't given much thought to the substance of those titles. It's as if she just wants them to go around saying, "That's my husband!" and "That's my wifey!" which is cute, but means nothing if there's no relationship to go along with it. Both of them are terribly stubborn when they're not getting their way and part of the problem is that they both are frustrated by the other person not thinking the same way they do. I don't remember the exact words during the hotel room argument, but each of them said something like, "Why aren't you treating me like your wife?" and "Why can't you just take baby steps?" I was sitting on my couch yelling, "OMG, stop thinking that the other person should think exactly like you!!" Out of all the wives, Shawniece is the least agreeable (not in a bad way). Molly and Jaclyn have gone along with their husbands on most things (not in a doormat way...yet) but if Jephte says/does something and Shawniece feels opposite, she expresses that which causes them to clash. Coming back to paddleboard-gate, I think (wild guess here, so take this with a grain of salt) off-camera the instructor might've said something about being careful not to stand up in the water without shoes because of rocks being at the bottom. In Jephte's "I told you" moment, there was a short exchange between Jephte and the instructor about how he (Jephte) warned her. So I think the couples were cautioned about the terrain under the water and maybe Shawniece chose to ignore it. YMMV. What could turn their marriage around? They need self-awareness for their own faults and empathy towards their spouse. Jephte needs to learn that his responses come off as rude and insensitive to Shawniece and is triggering her feelings of insecurity that he doesn't like her and is friend-zoning her because she is a "stranger". He should be more sensitive when communicating with her (I'm getting flashbacks of Major Payne and learning sensitivity, lol). Shawniece needs to learn that Jephte wants to grow into being her husband. She's chasing him to get him to accept her, but she needs to back up a bit and let him find the desire to pursue her (please don't take this as sexist, I just think he wants to come to like her on his terms, not because he feels like he's forced to like her). I'm sorry for word vomiting in this thread and to all you poor souls that read this whole post.

Long time lurker, first time poster. I think Shawniece and Jephte are compatible and could develop a solid marriage but they need to hit the reset button right now. I'm around Shawniece's age and her actions from the moment she met Jephte screamed THIRSTY. However, I think she is used to doing certain things that are great for attracting fuckbois/ain't shit men/one night stands when she's out at the club, but she's going to have to approach attracting her husband a bit differently. If after the ceremony (when they had alone time before the reception) she had used conversation starters such as, "Where did you grow up and how was that like?" or "What do you like to do in your free time?" or "Where is your favorite place to eat?", I think that they would've had a better start (based off my observation of Jephte's openness during the family brunch when her family asked "getting to know you" questions). I also put all my walls up when I feel like somebody is coming on too strong for my liking, so I understand Jephte's reaction to Shawniece's conversation and twerking on him at the reception in front of his traditional family (my grandma is more reserved, so as much I love droppin' it like it's hot, I wouldn't do it in front of her). However, he's in this "experiment" for the next 8 (?) weeks, so he might as well try to make the most of it. He did voice his physical attraction to Shawniece when he saw her coming down the aisle, so I don't think that's a problem. Even though they are legally married (as the experts keep reminding us of, lest we forget), all of the couples need time to build the emotional committment of marriage. It's like making a new friend - some people just naturally click from the get-go and others are more slow to build from an acquaintance first and then achieve friend status. If the "experts" truly cared about making sure these couples find out the reasons why they were matched together, then they would sit and talk with Shawniece and Jephte, separately and together, to help them press the reset button. For Shawniece, they need to tell her that she overwhelmed her husband with her extremely intimate gestures and that she should slow down in order for him to get to know her. For Jephte, they need to tell him that his emotional lockdown is only going to cause his wife to prod harder to get any kind of reaction out of him, so he should open up again and try to ask her some "getting to know you" questions that might possibly prevent her from talking about awkward/inappropriate conversations (or at the very least, save those for when the cameras go away). Then sit them down together and have them verbally argree to put the past 2 episodes behind them and start from a clean slate. Disclaimer: I'm not a therapist, I just play one from my living room couch. :)