Uncle JUICE
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Posts posted by Uncle JUICE
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8 hours ago, LotusFlower said:
Has Isaac always called Javi "dad?" What does he call Jo?
This has bugged me for weeks. Jo isn't some uninvolved dickbag of a dad. I'd object to Aubree calling Cole dad, I object to Chelsea constantly reminding Aubree that Cole isn't a replacement for her unfortunate real father, but no one here ever says boo that Kailyn allows, and probably at some point even encouraged, Isaac to call Javi 'daddy'. It seems right up her passive aggressive alley.
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I don't think it was out of line for Leah to call her attorney to ask if there was any news on her case. Since it apparently had been a month or more since the court date, it seems reasonable to ask when she could expect to hear something. While I can't stand Leah, I thought the attorney could have been more professional and informative. She could have at least said something like "it can take up to 45 days to get a ruling" or something like that. She could always bill Leah for the call if it's that much trouble.
The tone that lawyer had told me "This is the fourth time in three days you've called," that's straight addict behavior, as others have pointed out. I think she probably told Leah at the outset how long a ruling takes, and Leah just couldn't fight back the urge to consistently call. To me the only other way her tone makes sense is MTV TOLD her to call the lawyer and ask for dramastic purposes, not really giving a shit that Leah had called the day before and before that, when they weren't filming.
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I'm telling you all, the show about this show from the lawyer's perspective MUST be made. I want so much to see the other end of the phone call when Leah calls and asks if they'd heard anything. that lawyer couldn't be more annoyed, you know she hung up and was like "Yeah, because I heard something and fucking forgot somehow to call you." And we weren't even treated to the rambling craziness that must have been Jenelle's call to her lawyer about Nathan kidnapping his own son. I need to see Adam's latest low-cost attorney trying to explain why his rap sheet IS still a valid point of contention, and that when he files for custody, the first thing he's going to hear about is all the child support he's in arrears over. Please!!! MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
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Someone asked this earlier and didn't get an answer, why do you all call the girls girlses? Sorry, just started following this show on this board
It's the possessive version used by Leah. As in "I just picked up the girlses nutritious dinner while Im out on the prowl to score: an Arby's sandwich to share."
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TO paraphrase Kathy Griffin (Don't ask me why), yes, they will be the next IT couple, as long as you mean like the last two letters of shit couple. I feel like we deserve this lady and her craziness, with how we consume and create celebrity nowadays. It's like a fame Frankenstein: once you create it, you can't be too surprised at how it quickly turns ugly.
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I think Teen Mom IS a cautionary tale of giving girls who already haven't shown the best judgment hundreds of thousands of dollars while they're in their teens, and seeing, with few exceptions, how they waste money, and how the money keeps them from suffering any consequences so they continue to make the same mistakes over and over and don't learn a damn thing. We just have to wait a long time to see the fallout.
That's exactly the point of my show :). I want to see the hard downfall.
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What does any of this mean? Who are these people?
Sorry, that's the pre-title sequence to my show about the team of attorneys who assist all Teen Moms. Jenelle's lawyer is Linda Lovely, of Lovely Law. And that's not something I made up, it's real, the law firm. :) Horry County, SC, is Jenelle's current municipality.
ETA: THis show could also feature Farrah's agent. I'm not sure if he'd be super sleazy ("Endorse this chin lift strap on your twitter feed, they'll give you $3K, and no one will EVER remember the picture of your face in traction!") or some earnest young intern who has her as his only client at a really low-rent talent agency, where he's trying hard to get her work but she won't take a role on a soap opera (think that episode of 30 rock where Lemon had an agent for her Dealbreaker series, Farrah would torture the guy with "Would Merle Streak (because she doesn't know who Meryl Streep is, just heard the name) do Days of Our Lives, asshole????") and his dickhead much richer and more successful coworkers do stuff like give him her fake pussy when it's secret Santa time around the office.
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(Phone ringing that office "boop boop...BEEE boop" ring). Receptionist answers, "Lovely Law, this is Brenda Jo, how may I direct your...oh, hey....mmhm...mmhm. okay...yep, please hold." (presses button) "Linda?"
(interior of poorly appointed law office, many Precious Moments on the shelves, woman examining miscellaneous papers) "Yes?"
"Horry County on line three." (lawyer lady sighs heavily, removes reading glasses, pinches the bridge of her nose)
Receptionist: "Linda?"
Linda: "Yeah, I'm here....just...(another sigh)...is she in holding? Am I going to see another mug shot?"
(phone rings again while Linda steels herself to pick up the first line...Brenda Jo back on the line, inaudible, then pops back up on Linda's office)
Receptionist: "Line 5, it's her, I'm pretty sure she's drunk, or outside, or driving in a car, maybe I couldn't understand everything, lots of cursing."
Linda: (groans) "This bullshit wasn't in any of those Grisham novels. Put her through."
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Ok, so I've been watching the TM franchise since it first started, and as much as I hate to say it, I'm pretty sure these shows now have to end. It has to do with what made the show interesting. Basically, I think breaking the fourth wall was a giant mistake, but I understand why it happened: these kids got so over inflated that their regular lives, it is now impossible for them to have real 'friends' and relationships like regular people, so they could only really interact naturally with producers. Or maybe MTV got tired of going deep down the bench of people we've never seen before and giving them a $200 gift card to best Buy to appear for one of Ryan's soliloquies, I don't know. In any case, now that the kids are so aware (any time a six year old is talking about their mic pack, we've gone too far, in my view), and these idiots are so convinced they're the center of the universe, this show (and I'm afraid for TM2, the better product) is no longer viable. But that doesn't mean say goodbye. It means see you later.
See, when it first started out, this was in large part a study of being poor in America (Farrah notwithstanding). It was less about what it's like to be a parent at that age than it was about how expensive a responsibility kids are, how heavy eh every day bills get. Kailynn, for example, gamed the welfare system for housing and food assistance. Maci lived in a straight shack until this last year. That's baically the first phase of the Teen Mom...then it's obvious when MTV checks start coming in. Every one of these dopes leases a car that's too nice, or rents a house, or goes on ten vacations...it's drunk sailor time. Now, there's no stopping that train by the time we get to this latest season. Everyone's getting new butts, fake lips, starting ill fated businesses...but you can't not pay them, so there's no putting the genie back in the bottle. Essentially, this has become a study of F+ fame, people famous for nothing at all, just famous for fame, becoming separated from the lives they know at an age where they're no where near fully socially developed or capable of adapting appropriately. That's already gotten boring. But I have a fix.
You turn this into a straight-faced documentary about how money gets fucked up, how young people who think they have the world by the balls because they make a couple hundred grand will immediately fuck that money up, and how they'll end up exactly where they started out. If I'm MTV, I would offer each of these folks what they think is real money today, even if it's $250K each. I'd tell them you can have $100K now, and the other $150K (or $250K or whatever the balance is), I will keep in a trust against which the talent cannot take any loan or whatever (not sure if this is even legal but whatever, it's not like anyone's going to do this really). You can't access the funds until five years from now, after production is complete. Production on what?
For the money, you sign up for a two hour no holds barred look at your lives five years from now. It's a straight documentary, not led by Dr. Drew, no production crews (all of those people would be talking head sort of "I don't understand why Amber didn't see Matt's scheme coming" interviews). The kids would be 12, the parents nearing 30, That interval gives the current low level of fame time to fade entirely, which I think in cases like Tyler and Catelyn and Maci, it absolutely would. I think watching Farrah claw for the remnants of hers (she is convinced, as others have posted, that she's either a new Kardashian in the wings, or that she's a junior league real housewife) would be grotesque, even more so than now. I know Amber will be broke, that guy is basically a tick. The thing is none of them now have any skills at all, and their 'fame' has morphed into 'notoriety.' If you're the local UPS Store, for example, are you going to want to bother hiring Tyler from Teen Mom? If you're the Anderson IN Cracker Barrel, do you want Amber from Teen Mom as a waitress? I think the answer's no. And I don't think any of them will have the self awareness to take the money MTV gives them up front and invest it in an education. Think about the questions you could ask in five years, think of the potential...how incredibly capitvatingly sad it would be. Which kid is going to Scared Straight? Which kid is developing a reputation in sixth grade? Who's a bully? What happened to your $2M home? Why are you driving a Tercel, when last we saw you, you were in your third Denali?
Sorry for the length. My other show is a show about their various attorneys, I'd be glad to cover that one, too :).
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S07.E08: Didn't Mean It
in Teen Mom 2
Damn you and your totally sensible point! I wonder what he'll end up calling him when they inevitably get divorced.