Charmed1,
I've been lurking for awhile, but decided to jump in and join the conversation.
I knew you were referring to the International Church of Christ, by the way you described your experience. I'm a former ICOC member. REVEAL.org is a good resource. I wrote a paper for them about my experiences called The Death of A Dream. I've read a little bit about Gothard, and from what I can see, his teachings are quite a bit different from the ICOC, but where there's a convergence is in the legalism and control. A focus on externals. I remember the ICOC emphasizing instant obedience from their children ("obeying the first time"), and that reminds me of Gothardism. The ICOC, however, is not at all opposed to birth control, but then again, women have leadership positions in the church, and large families would hinder evangelism and tithing to the church.
