davetheman

I think Ryan D and Jessica really just had a miscommunication problem. She took something he said to heart when it wasn't intended that way at all by him and he is probably just as mad at her as she is at him for taking something he said clearly in a way he did not mean. They just have to talk that out.

Two creepy people. Davina is the worst type of woman. Hyper-sensitive about perceived slights, constant seeking of praise for her and her mother, off the wall emotionally, and in general just seems like a person who needs intense and longterm therapy. Sean seems to have no sense of decency with the overwhelming sex talk, he seems cheesy as hell, still think this dude is a little light in the loafers, on top of being equally as narcassitic as Davina. Two crazy messed up people in a relationship. I give them 0% chance at surviving past 3 years if they even make it to the end of this season.

DAvina comes off as so damn needy. Its cool that your mom was a skier, why would anyone possibly want to start talking about how cool your mom is when you are about to go skiing. Sean is definitely weird, but the way she is going about trying to gin up some praise for her mom is weird as hell. Have to give Ryan D props for doing the dolphin thing with a smile instead of complaining the whole time. Davina talking about her old date then crying about Sean using a cheesy line and backing off is weird. On top of other issues, this chick is crazy needy. Red flag. Major red flag. I can see why her friends said this thing was going to fail. I don't think she is ready for a serious relationship, she isn't a happy person who is happy with her life and who is happy experiencing it. She is damaged goods and until she fixes that crap in her life and her mental makeup she will never be ready for someone to be in her life as a partner. hyper-needy and overly defensive. Not marriage material. I'm gonna go with Ryan D on the fight at the end. I've been in the exact same situation about the exact same thing. Not liking piercings and tats in general doesn't mean that he thinks that about the person who has them that he is talking to.

40 mins in. I'm starting to realize that Ryan D is the male version of Jaclyn. I think he is kind of a jokester, but I think that is the wall he is putting up as he brings her in. I think he wants to do things that he thinks will scare her off or test her to see if she wants to stay involved with him and if she "passes" he will try to open up himself to her. Right now he seems very guarded wtih her, while she is very open with her. I was thinking this might be a bad pairing but I think they might have a future, barring something big coming up later in this episode or down the line.

Ryan and Jaclyn are the only normal well adjusted people on this show. So far. LOL I'm only 20mins in and Davina and Sean are seeming like a worse and worse pairing. Sean comes off as a creeper

I think it depends on the maturity level of both involved, not just the men. That would be the only thing I would disagree with. That and Ryan, we don't know much about who he is as a person yet, so I'll reserve whether he is immature or a douche until I see more.

You and your mom haven't gone on tv, told us you don't identify as your own ethnic group, but that you identify as a ethnic group or social group you aren't a part of and pretty much gone out of your way to not be associated and shun your own ethnic group and your own history and culture and etc. I never said it was self hatred to have a preference for someone out of your culture. I've said that the self hatred is hating what you are, Davina seems to clearly be over the line of preferring white men but hating her own ethnic group because of the treatment that some members of it put her through when she was younger. It weird because as someone pointed out to earlier, she clings to a group that she admitted also bullied her when she was younger and ostracized her because she was different, ie white americans. No one has said Davina needs to marry a traditional indian man. Saying Davina is a self hater has nothing to do with her acceptance or love of traditional indian culture. Millions of Americans of indian descent are just like her, she isn't special or different at all in that context, so acting like it would be hard to find americans of indian descent like her in the US as a whole or in NYC is weird to me. The show finding Davina a man of indian descent isn't the point though and no one is saying they should have tried to. She doesn't want to even consider indian men, she only wanted white men, period, it was her dealbreaker comment about a pairing. The issue that some of us see is how this didn't raise red flags from the "experts"

Shouldn't that be up to the people involved in the conversation. I mean if no one is flmaing or being disrespectful how is discussion a problem on a forum.

I'm sorry this is a forum and I thought I was having a nice and cordial discussion. No one is really flaming each other, is there a problem?

Davina isn't choosing to not marry someone who is of traditional indian culture. She didn't say I don't want a indian man of traditional culture She said she doesn't date indian men. She only dates white men. She then said she identifies herself as white. On top of that she said she doesn't want anyone of eastern religion orientation. All these things in totality, especially the identification as white shows that she doesn't like what she is and is actively trying to disassociate herself not just from her culture but her own ethnicity and that is a clear sign that she hates herself. I've said it before and I really don't understand how it isn't getting through, but I'll do it one more time. She isn't voicing a preference for what she likes, she is actively running away and trying to disassociate herself from what she is. There are millions of american of Indian descent who are completely westernized just like her, she isn't special in any regard whatsoever in being a modern american female. So the line of convo that goes she just is rejecting traditional indian culture in saying she only dates white men is off target. The saying that oh she just likes white men, "i like short men, i like fat men, _____" is also off base, it isn't about what she likes it again about what she actively dislikes and shuns about herself. The same way it would be absurd for a black female american to say oh I only date white men, because I was bullied by black people growing up, and now I identify myself as being white, its equally absurd to here Davina say it. It simply delusional with regard to any minority who lives in US society, especially for her when she even said how she felt she was bullied by white people because they called her hindu and pointed out as a child that she was not like them. Like I said before these are red flags regarding her mental health and suitability for this experiment and it seems to be they dropped the ball. This is a case where having extra marriage counselors and screeners of different backgrounds would come in handy because this is textbook stuff right here because its obvious that to some in the majority, it seems almost mysterous to how anyone could not want to be "white", to the point that you keep talking about points that are already taken off the table when discussing what she has actually said. As for kids, I would pray to God that it doesn't come to her having kids before this situation is resolved because based on what she has said its already clear culturally how she is going to be with her kids. Heaven help her child/ren if one comes out with heavy european features and the other with more of the indian features and skin tone and how she would treat them knowing that she wants to be white and identifies as being white.

Hating what you are is pretty much self hate, what is your definition?

Already answered this but I'll go again. If an italian, english, scottish, irish, german, swede, or etc said they didn't identify as their own ethnic background, said they did not want anyone from their own ethnic background because they felt bullied or mistreated by the background, and said they didn't event want someone who had a traditional religion associated with their ethnic background, yes they would be a self hater. Some of you posters seem to think this is a anti-white thing and get defensive and miss the whole point. If she said black instead of white it would be the same issue. I honestly don't understand how you could ask this like it makes any sense. Self hate, that she said white is pretty irrelevant to the denial and dismissal of her own heritage. Alicia Keys and Paula Patton are black just like Monet and Vaughn, in the US, so I don't understand the argument you are making. It doesn't really carry.

Apparently she is one of those chicks who are attracted to asses who bully other people and are "protective" of her. She is just as messed up as he is. That made me laugh when she said that she liked him going off on the staff for her.

I've grown up around the US and visited different areas in the world due to a childhood and being the child of military parents. I've mainly lived in the southern US states here and that is where I live now. Living in the north east, west coast, and south even in areas with large populations in which you may be the majority, you are always fully aware that in this country you are a minority. Its something that I think it will be hard for you to grasp looking at your post. I won't try to force my opinion on you but as a minority living here, I can only give you my experience and my perception. No matter where I am in the US even in pockets where its majority black, I've always known and most of us always know that we are always the minority, we simply don't exist in numbers enough to ever be anything but at the whim of those in the majority in this nation, in our states, and etc. Also again as for Davina or anyone else who prefers a person or type for whatever reason, that is on them and they can have whatever reason they want, there is a difference in having a preference and rejecting what you are, your makeup, your culture and history outright. That applies to black americans, Indian, Pakistani, Native American, Polish, Irish, etc. Just my take on it though. She lives in NYC. Do you really think that it would be hard for her to find Indians who aren't fully americanized born and bred like her? Honest question.

I get you. I would say though that there is a difference between, disability and ethnicity/racial dynamics IMHO, atleast here in the US from what I've read.