Jintian

I went in with low expectations for quality and pacing and common sense, and the show met those expectations, so overall it was fine. I'm glad Bay chose her career but with a commitment to stay in the healthiest relationship she's ever had. I'm glad Daphne continues to honor the sacrifice Bay made for her by staying on the doctor path. I'm glad Toby has found a sense of purpose in life and had a good scene in the cafe showing he'll probably be a natural at it. I'm glad Travis will get to play professional baseball and also won't be alone in Japan. But everything just felt a bit rushed and inexplicable, and some of the character-to-character stuff fell flat, like Bay and Regina. I saw in a Lizzy Weiss interview about the cancellation a while ago that the network offered her a choice of either 2 hours or 1.5 hours for the finale, and she chose the latter because 2 hours would have required too much filler. I guess in her mind, "filler" means character development and explanations? I think she also said in one of her post-finale interviews last night that they opted not to do a flash forward, so they didn't shut down plot possibilities for a future revival or reunion special. Maybe I'm just a pessimist, but I really don't see that happening for this show and I would have appreciated an X years later kind of wrap-up. How great would it have been to let viewers know that these new paths chosen with such confidence by the characters actually did end up being right for them? Because I think that's always been one of my major issues with Switched at Birth: the characters have made so many bad decisions, over and over again, and it's never quite sure if they've learned from their mistakes because it could all turn around in a second for the sake of drama. The emotional closure I needed wasn't about romance or shipping any of that, I think -- it was about growing up. I would have liked to see that these particular big decisions had good outcomes and that the characters became adults finally.

The essay is great! I like this forum because of stuff like that. I know Bay has her haters in the audience, but I don't know how anyone can watch this show and not see that she's that puppy dog type who just wants to be loved. I think she's a clear example of a character who, because she has always felt at odds and different and unwanted, has quite a damaged sense of self-worth. This is why she always goes too far in giving to other people, in my reading of her. Despite growing up in privileged circumstances, Bay's discovery about the switch threw her whole world out of whack and then Regina didn't even really "want" her (from the moment Regina first found out about the switch to the day they met to the present day). Bay learns that this golden child Daphne is the one who should have had her life, and in fact all 3 parents fall all over themselves getting/staying close to Daphne. So over the course of the show, Bay keeps repeating this pattern of doing everything she possibly can to help people, or to share what she has (money, shelter, time, taking the fall, loyalty -- she's the "ride or die" chick as this week's recap said), all so that SOMEONE will want her the most and be loyal to her the most. I re-watched the first episode recently and it's all there: Bay tells Toby she always felt different. The first time Regina and Daphne come over for lunch, Regina barely speaks to Bay and then leaves without telling her goodbye. Meanwhile J&K encourage Daphne to bond with Toby. Scarlett45 already mentioned how Regina rejected a suggestion from her mother of inviting Bay over to get to know her. Bay has to sit outside Regina's house in her car just to see her. Meanwhile J&K arrange for Daphne to tour Bay's school in hopes of enrolling her, without even running it by Bay. Then when Bay gets arrested for using a fake ID, Regina and Kathryn fight in the station about how Regina's bad parenting = Daphne going deaf, and Regina says, "We're in the police station because of the daughter you two raised." Right in front of Bay! Immediately after that, K declares they're going to sue to get Daphne back. Daphne is wanted, Bay is not. So what does Bay do? She asks her parents to let Regina and Daphne stay in the guest house. I mean, it makes sense that Bay would want to keep them close so she can get to know them. That's not remarkable in itself. But I go back to the "optics" of the situation, like how I was annoyed with Bay having to beg her parents for help with the bills in last week's episode. The Regina/Bay dynamic just looks horrible if you're a fan of Bay, and the show has never really deviated from this pattern with her. And I can't even get into how it's also played out in her dating relationships or I'll write an even longer essay than this. Seriously, one more episode and she's free! Fly to Japan, Bay! Fly!

Oooh, I forgot about the tattoo stigma. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I'm wondering whether Travis will ultimately decide not to go to Japan. I recall that at the beginning of his arc with Melody, she suggested he could become a teacher. She's been so intent on him getting a college degree and not letting his future hinge on baseball alone that I can only imagine she'll have something to say about this. Plus, now that he's reconnected with his mother, it seems a bad time to go off to yet another foreign country for who knows how long. I really liked Bay's role in the "I believe you" scene. I think the show has been very careful to never have Bay herself call what Tank did "rape" while letting other characters voice all the different possible perspectives. But because of the circumstances surrounding that night and the fallout from it, not to mention all the discussion among viewers about whether it was really rape or not, it felt right to have Bay be the one to show Travis's mother what he needed: for her to accept the truth of his experience. When survivors of sexual assault speak out, it's so important for that to be handled with compassion and trust on all sides. I thought that issue was deftly handled in the writing and acting. Side note: Characters on this show are no longer knocking on closed doors apparently. I noticed Bay walked right into Travis's dorm room at one point, and at the end of the episode Travis walked right into the Kennish house! Maybe they all texted beforehand or something, but still funny.

I thought it was long past time the show addressed Travis's anger issues and his sexual assault, but at least when they finally did it, they hit a home run. The acting and the writing were far above anything the season has delivered so far. But sadly, the quality of the episode seems to have been overshadowed because it's the second to last one ever, in a season that has generally disappointed a lot of viewers. Anyway, kudos to Ryan Lane, Vanessa Marano, DW Moffett, and Suanne Spoke for bringing their A-game, and to the writers and directors for doing this story and this issue justice. I never cry at this show because it's usually too over the top, but this episode broke me. I actually didn't even mind the Daphne and Regina parts either. Daphne handled things better than I thought she would, meaning she managed to not blow up Chris's life or anyone else's. I would have been extremely annoyed if she'd pulled a typical Daphne maneuver and ended up ruining her medical career, especially after the show took care to remind us how much Bay sacrificed to make that happen. And Regina, well, whatever. I never do have much to say about her, but I didn't want to fast forward her scenes for once. Although I definitely raised my eyebrows when Bay was all, "Look how great our relationship is now!" Here's hoping Bay decides her next big adventure should be in Tokyo!

I was pretty annoyed about the whole situation for Bay. Even if her parents' reasoning is that they want her to be more adult or more responsible, the optics of having her beg for a loan and then get summarily rejected by John and Regina in turn, while Daphne goes on dates and then blithely gives away their beer to her potential hook-up.... Bleh. (And why didn't Ally offer to pitch in anything before running off to pay rent to a new roommate?) Then of course Bay does the irresponsible thing with all the damage at The Cracked Mug, and Regina demands she pay for it. Yes, obviously Bay should, but the irrational Bay-defender in me still wants to shout at Regina to try being a better mother first. Or make Daphne pay for all the damage she caused and/or was an accomplice to causing. Why am I even surprised, though? Bay has always been the punching bag character on this show. Two episodes left and you're free, you silly sweet summer child!

Where are people getting that Carlton won't know anything about Kathryn and John's beliefs? They asked at the end of the episode if Carlton could share in Christmas and Easter celebrations at their house, and Toby and Lily said yes. Toby also said he doesn't have his parents' strong faith, so that's why he's deferring to Lily, who cares more about hers. She made an important point that her Jewishness is as much a cultural identity as a religious one. For a people who experienced genocide in living memory, it's not so surprising that someone like Lily might feel closer to her Jewish identity when she perceives it being threatened somehow, ie by a mother-in-law bringing a priest (or whatever he was) to lay out all the beliefs they want her kid to have that she doesn't. Something to note also is that for the majority of Jewish people, according to Jewish law (halakha), having a Jewish mother automatically makes you Jewish. In Lily's eyes, Carlton would and should be Jewish because of her. I would expect that contributes to her feeling that she has this responsibility now to pass on her beliefs to her son. Take a look at the script of this scene which Lizzy Weiss tweeted, which basically lays some of this out: And by the way, Toby is also the one who brought up Lily having this bond with Carlton -- she just agreed with what he said. Bottom line is that it was a matter for Toby and Lily to work out to their mutual satisfaction, without interference of well-meaning but overbearing in-laws, and in the end they came to a peaceful decision. If Toby cared more about Carlton being raised as a Christian, this would have been a different episode and different discussion.

I think it makes sense for Travis's character -- he's always going in hard with his opinions, and of course he'd want to defend Bay, and also he has strong personal reasons for siding against a person he believes is a sexual abuser or who would condone sexual abuse. And I have to say I think it's pretty low of Mary Beth to date a person who -- regardless of whether she herself believes it was rape -- hurt her friend like that, and was/is at the center of so much pain for her friend. To even try to equate their dating relationships is a big reach. Bay's line about, "I hope you get married and stay together forever, because that's the only way this would be worth it," was excellent. And a big whatever to this show trying to garner sympathy for Mary Beth because her mother is ill. Just because a person is experiencing trouble doesn't give them an excuse to do crappy things to people they supposedly care about. See, e.g., Daphne lashing out after Angelo's death, Emmett's treatment of Bay last season, etc. Speaking of which, why am I not surprised that Bay's life threatening illness is about Daphne's guilt and PTSD now? So typical. Between consoling Mary Beth, Daphne and now Emmett, it's also just typical Bay. She needs to stop taking on other people's problems to the detriment of her own happiness. She does it over and over again with different friends, putting herself out there to help them through their issues, and it always creates issues for herself. Try looking out for number one, Bay!