AllyB
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Posts posted by AllyB
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16 hours ago, SnarkShark said:
The short version is yes, realistically there'd be racial pushback. The specifics being called complex and trying to work out the split of it, doesn't change that. Racism is multifaceted in the US too. One of the few major differences I've noticed was a stronger insistence for a long time in some quarters, only starting to wane now, that Britain was somehow post-racial.
Britain certainly isn't post-racial but the experiences London and almost all of the rest of England are two very, very different places because the racial make ups of the populations are incomparable. Day to day in London, Rebecca and Sam are unlikely to hear a word about their different ethnicities. It's not something that would even occur to most people to be an issue one way or the other, but most especially not when there is the age difference and the boss/employee relationship, which are glaringly unusual and potentially problematic. Would there be some snarky/catty comments in certain newspapers? Absolutely, and not only in the tabloids. But while there are certain British newspapers that immediately spring to mind as being happy to jump on the racial differences, I can guarantee you that each of those newspapers has a much, much, much bigger problem with misogyny than they do with race.
The season one joke that the papers were calling Rebecca, "old Rebecca" came from a place of reality. These are the same newspapers that ran headlines under photographs of an important meeting between Theresa May and Nicola Sturgeon (respective British and Scottish Prime Ministers) about who had the best legs. The age difference would be a much, much bigger deal to these newspapers. In reality, even though Sam surely has a very good salary and solid visa, the papers would paint Rebecca as the naive ageing hasbeen, being hoodwinked by a foreign youngster out to use her for her money and passport status. (And Rebecca, is not remotely posh, she's very, very solidly middle class.) Misogyny and Xenophobia, because those papers also have a larger recent history of xenophobia than racism.
Would there be racist chants in the stadiums? 100% depending on the team. And it would be with a lot of teams. Racism is rife within the FA fandom. Would certain papers carefully stir up racism ahead of certain games in order to ensure they have racist chanting to report on the next day? Absolutely. But the misogyny and Sam being an immigrant would be much more blatant.
Then equally, there will be reports from the opposite end of the media, cheerleading the brilliance of their relationship. With all of the potential red flags either ignored or actually argued as positive. And that would set the stage for ongoing discussions on tv shows like Loose Women, where the presenters constantly just argue back and forth on the rights and wrongs of the relationship.-
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6 hours ago, Maysie said:
For someone who is so insecure it didn’t take long for him to get an overblown sense of self importance.
It's text book narcissism. A massively inflated sense of self-importance, masking a complete lack of self-esteem.
5 hours ago, SnarkShark said:Sure, but realistically in the world, no less in the UK (where football players of color were recently treated like trash by the general public) race probably WOULD be an issue once this went public. Paired with the other reason, of course.
The UK is made up of 3 and a bit countries. For one, the racism following the Euros was to do with the English team and had little to do with Wales, Scotland or NI. In fact, in large part people in Scotland and many communities in NI would have been cheering for Italy, as they view England as the oppressor country. Not that there is no racism in the other parts of the UK, racism in NI is still, quite frankly, off the scale. (But that is not racism as would necessarily be recognised from an Americancentric pov, as it's about colonisers versus the colonised and the problems that were exacerbated following the British governments' decision to create partition in Ireland after they lost the Irish War of Independence in the early 1920s.)
Within England itself, race issues will be utterly different in London and most of the rest of the country. The racial makeup of England and Wales (for some reason they are recorded together, belittling Wales!) is 86% white, with over 81% being white Britons, 3.3% of people are from black ethnic groups. In London, only 59% of the population is white, and only 44% is white British. Over 13% are from black ethnic groups, with a further more than 2% being from mixed black and white ethnicity. Richmond, is a London club. While it's clearly in the wealthy, more white than most, suburban South London region of Richmond-upon-Thames, the attitude there towards race issues are completely and utterly different in a city which is simultaneously the most important, powerful and wealthy city in the country and also the only city where the indigenous, white population are a minority. When you try to factor in issues such as upper/middle/working class stratification which really do not mean even remotely the same things in England as they do in the US, it's incredibly hard as an outsider to get a grip on.-
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It's just struck me how the last couple of episodes have shown us how utterly run into the ground Brooke is. She is constantly sick from work exhaustion and it's showing in her looks, demeanour and just general feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Yet she actually appears to have far more downtime than Pat, who is constantly working to the point that even her personal events like a family wedding, have become work. And we've seen how her personal interactions with fans are coming at the expense of her getting any sleep. If Brooke is sick from overwork, Pat has to be headed for a massive physical breakdown.
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I'm in my early 40s and have friends in their 20s and while I love and really enjoy our friendships. The thought of a sexual or romantic element to them feels as weird as all hell. As much as we have lots in common as friends, enjoy each other's company, laugh, have in jokes, scientific, literary, political discussions, etc. Those don't have to translate to a relationship other than friendship. I feel genuine love for my friends but the thing is, that sexual and romantic relationships almost always contain a power dynamic. And if both partners aren't starting out on both an equal footing and a perception of an equal footing, it's too easy for something fundamental to go wrong. The massive age difference as well as the, very public, employer/employee relationship between Rebecca and Sam just makes a sexual and romantic relationship between them too disturbing.
I would actually have really, really enjoyed seeing Sam and Rebecca acknowledge that a relationship between them would be a mistake but that they had potential for a really healthy friendship. A big strength to this show has been the developing friendships. Ted and Rebecca, Rebecca and Keeley, Higgins and everyone. But friendships between people with big age gaps, especially opposite sex, is rarely seen on television. Especially ones where they are just friends, not with the older person taking on a wise elder/parent substitute role. I find it so fun and fulfilling and it would be nice to see that mirrored on screen.-
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On 9/5/2021 at 2:06 AM, txhorns79 said:
I was a little bit bored with Cary's storyline. I figured that relationship was heading towards a break up,
I thought the actor who played his boyfriend did an excellent job in the break-up scene. There were one or two line deliveries where he really sounded like he was choking back tears. And I did like his confusion every time Cary said he didn't want to be a cuddle boy.
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16 hours ago, LADreamr said:
I agree he should be doing better, but emotional maturity doesn't go along automatically with chronological aging. If his parents have been emotionally infantilizing him, or limiting his emotional growth by squashing his spirit, it's something he's going to have to actively and consciously work on.
If he has spent over 20 years of his adult life, still allowing himself to defined by his parents poor treatment. Still unable to deal with his insecurities in any way other than to bully the 'smaller guy,' he really isn't likely to change. People can do work on themselves, have realisations and make themselves change. But realistically, having lived half his probable life expectancy like this, he isn't going to change. Even if he wants to, it's very unlikely. People can and do change. But it's rare. And it's more likely for constantly evolving people to change. Even when people do change, very often their core is still the same, they are just changing how they prioritise things and express themselves. But they are still the same person.
To be honest, the idea that someone with Nate's damage can ever truly change is a dangerous one. It's why so many people give so much of their lives to their abusers. They are sure that their parent or spouse can change. Can be helped to be happier, can grow and stop abusing when they are helped to realise how much of their hurt they are passing on to others. Nate on the show will be helped to become a good person. because that is the show we are watching. In real life, Nate would learn to reign in those impulses in work and take them out on someone in his personal life.-
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I think part of the problem with Nate's storyline for me is that the actor is in his early 40s. I don't know how old Nate is meant to be but I'm watching a near middle-aged man bully a kid nearly half his age. That would just about be potentially redeemable if he was still in his 20s himself. But if a man in his 40s hasn't learned to deal with his own insecurities enough to not take them out on the person he perceives as having the lowest rank, then he's just abusive. I see how he treats Will and I fear for any woman who becomes his wife. Because whatever happens at the club in future episodes to eventually make Nate stop bullying Will. (As I assume will happen.) That's only going to happen because he has supervisors who will eventually call a halt to his behaviour. If he ever finds a woman to love him and live with him, there will be no such oversight. He's honestly irredeemable to me as a person, even if he becomes a great coach.
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I agree with pretty much everything said about Nate after this episode. I had genuinely thought up to this point that his problem with the new kit guy was his inability to let his old role go. But spitting on his reflection as a confidence boost was messed up in all the ways detailed.
I did however slightly feel that Jade was really dismissive of him as a single adult man going to dinner with his parents for their anniversary. That she just thought he was a saddo with the way he was quietly wittering on about their anniversary and 35 years and it being jade, etc. Then when she learned he was going to be a third wheel at their dinner it solidified her contempt for him. And she figured a sad adult man gatecrashing his parents romantic occasion wasn't what should be in the window at 'her' restaurant. Tooting has a very, very significant Asian population. A high street restaurant that clearly discriminated against Asian customers wouldn't last.-
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On 8/18/2021 at 9:45 PM, Roccos Brother said:
Whoever came up with this adult circumcision storyline should be fired. It would have to be a life-or-death situation for me to voluntarily go through that as an adult, just due to the pain alone.
I do know more than a few men who had adult medical circumcision due to severe pain which can be caused by a number of condition, like severe balanoposthitis and paraphimosis. Usually in their adult teens/early 20s rather than at Bud's age but it is sometimes the lesser of two evils. In the past it was more normal for circumcision to be recommended very quickly/immediately with those conditions. Nowadays, there are numerous, topical and medication treatments with high success rates that are attempted first. But occasionally, medical circumcision is still needed. Eczema can cause balanoposthitis, so it's not a completely off the wall diagnosis. It's just that circumcision shouldn't be the immediate solution. Though I do have the impression that circumcision is the norm in the US? So maybe doctors are less likely to think of the foreskin as something that should be kept intact apart from as a last resort?
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I just watched all of this last week and while I mostly enjoyed it, Paxton being quite clearly a very adult man paired with an actual teenager, takes me out of it. A few episodes in, I had to look up his actor as he has not just eye bags and wrinkles but the beginnings of loss of collagen in his jaws. I saw articles stating fans were uncomfortable after finding out about the age difference between the actors, which I thought was weird as he looks older than he is. I don't mean to be critical, I think he is a very handsome man and has a clear charm but he's an extremely unconvincing teenager. He looks older than Kamala or her first boyfriend Steve. He looks like a peer of Prashant's. While Devi is quite convincing as a 16 year old.
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I know that's what's happening but only because we're being told it, I'm not seeing it. What I did see was Bunny being someone magnetic enough that Sheila was already obsessed with her in a way she couldn't understand, by the time we met them. And I consistently see Bunny as someone who is adorable and feisty. I just can't SEE Sheila as being the only one of the duo to have a following. Maybe it would work better if we were seeing Bunny becoming distracted by the responsibilities of having to mother her child of a boyfriend, while Sheila is stepping out of that role with Danny and coming into herself. But we're still seeing Bunny being as adorable as ever.
Maybe she is badly cast because I find her to be much more captivating than Sheila. She's not coming across as only having surface glamour, or uninteresting beneath her bottle blonde. She's clearly got a lot going on under the surface. The only thing Sheila seems to have on her is height.-
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I'd like to see it made a bit more clear why Sheila is so much more popular than Bunny. At the start of the show Sheila was obsessed with Bunny and actually stalking her just based on how she looked. Before she ever even knew aerobics existed, Sheila was literally following Bunny around. So I find it hard to believe that everyone enjoying the aerobics videos only love Sheila and couldn't care less about Bunny. I know that Sheila is tapping into women's self-critical voices and blasting it away with her exercises, but there are surely still an awful lot of women who will be drawn more to Bunny. Because she is genuinely adorable with an obvious charm and sharp personality of her own.
I feel so bad for Bunny. Regardless of what happens with Sheila, she has herself her own Danny in Tyler. Tyler is a sweet person and not low key entitled and abusive like (nice guy) Danny. But he's a child who will keep dragging her down by not taking responsibility for himself. He kept surfing when he knew he needed to stay out of the water as aside from "just" his health, he lives in a country where medical treatment is paid through the nose for. He's just created a huge amount of debt for himself that Bunny feels responsible for. She needs to move on from him and take care of herself. Because even if Sheila screws her over, she's smart and feisty and will be able to carve out a decent life for herself. But she probably won't and will just get sucked down taking care of Tyler for years to come.-
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On 7/30/2021 at 4:54 PM, chocolatine said:
My impression is that Maya has a developmental delay, which is why Sheila frets so much over her.
I had wondered that. Though it could simply be a mix of child written too young while played by a much older child leading to a really incongruous result. It's funny but I literally watched Rose Byrne last night in Juliet, Naked where she is acting with a wonderful child actor and character. It must be strange as an actor to have such different experiences opposite children, where sometimes the child is an integral part of the cast and story and and other times they are basically there as little more than a plot device.
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Was I the only one that thought maybe, just maybe him reporting her to the police wasn't completely uncalled for? From his point of view she kidnapped him and assaulted him. Yes, he was absolutely wrong up until then. And there is a case to be made against him of sex by deception, so I wasn't happy with how the judge dismissed that argument. But ultimately, you can't keep someone in pain without medical treatment and fear that they are being held against their will until you decided they have been sufficiently humbled.
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16 hours ago, AngieBee1 said:
Just as I'm sure by the time the season is over Nate is going to be pulled to the carpet due to his power going to his head.
I don't think Nate's power is going to his head. He just can't let go of the emotional sense of responsibility he had towards the team's kits. His only issues are with the new kit guy and how he isn't doing his job in the same way that Nate did it.
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Definitely the best episode yet. I feel like from the ending of this episode it's about to become the show that was alluded to in the original trailer. I have quite enjoyed the show as it has been but I did originally come for a bombastic 80s show about a downtrodden housewife taking the world by storm with her empowering aerobics. So it's exciting to see that about to happen and I think we're going to build to a satisfying finale. However, the slow build up compared to the dynamic trailer has probably hurt the show's ability to build an audience, so I'm not convinced we will get a second season.
Lots of great moments in this episode but to me the absolute best moment was when the foursome were going to confront the bootlegger and are slowmo walking to his house. Greta walking slightly in front of Bunny reaches up and purposefully removes her wig and Bunny's WTF reaction behind her was gold.
(And is it just me or is Maya a badly written and cast. She's supposed to 4 but the actor looks older (Imdb suggests she's 6) while her behaviour is that of a barely turned 2 year old. It's very jarring, the absolute worst part of the show for me.)-
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4 hours ago, Chaos Theory said:
Well Grace is a little bit ruthless too telling Rita how much Alma benefitted from her going to jail But it was a great scene in the end and showed that Grace had a soul.
It only occurred to me now but poor Grace would have been left feeling so awful and guilty when she learned that Alma murdered Rita.
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6 hours ago, helenamonster said:
I've really enjoyed Mary Hollis Inboden and found myself getting teary when she was yelling at Allison about going through Tammy's purse. She's certainly got her number, and it was good of the show to use her as a vessel for calling out Allison's flaws. Sometimes shows will cheat and give that job to an unlikeable character, but coming from Patty, it actually means something.
I felt a bit like Allison was being wronged here. Patty accused her of only setting Nick up as the main drug dealer in order to have Patty owe her one, so she'd look in Tammy's notebook. But it was only after Allison heard that Nick was still alive that she felt the need to find out what Tammy may have written about her. I don't think Allison had any ulterior motive in setting Nick up to get Patty off the hook. She truly just wanted to make Patty safe in doing that. Using Patty to find out if Tammy was suspicious of her came after.
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7 hours ago, funnygirl said:
I think after everything Miranda and Steve have been through, particularly in the first movie, no. I would not like to see this. There is such a thing as separating an actor's real life from the character that they play. On top of that, between Samantha being MIA and something else I read about another character/couple, it'd be nice if some things stayed consistent from the original show.
Everything they went through in the first movie just goes to show they should be divorced. Steve cheated on Miranda and then gaslit her that it was her fault because being the main breadwinner and primary carer for their child and his mother meant she was too busy to cater to his ego. Then he emotionally blackmailed her into either having a "romantic reunion" and moving on without really resolving the problems caused by his behaviour or ending the marriage. While I loved Miranda's show ending more than anyone's I thought the first movie left her in a miserable place. But that neither ending was inconsistent with the characters we'd seen on the show. And that realistically, there is no way they would have stayed together over the interceding decade. Their divorce would be 100% consistent with the show. And if Miranda, or even Carrie, started to find themselves same sex attracted in middle age, that would also really be consistent with real life as it's a surprisingly common for women in their 40s+. I only don't see it for Charlotte as I think she and Harry have the healthiest marriage of the three women and she just wouldn't be that interested in exploring any shift in who she might be attracted to.
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Is anyone else curious about whether we'll see some of Cynthia Nixon's real life brought into Miranda's story? I could totally see Steve and Miranda being divorced one way or the other. Because I don't think they would make each other happy long term. And it might be interesting to see a single, middle-aged Miranda explore her sexuality and discover an attraction to women/a woman as Nixon did in real life. It's not uncommon for older women, to discover same-sex attraction, often in the later, less intense period of motherhood. Especially if they are single but often while still married too. So I guess it could also play into why their marriage ends. But I'd have a preference for a divorced, single Miranda at peace with herself, free of society's expectations of women and finding that time of being happy by herself leading to her getting to know herself better and explore a side of herself she was never able to acknowledge to herself when she was younger.
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I was underwhelmed by this as a season finale, tbh. Like most people, I'd expected throughout the season that we were building up to see Kevin outside of the sitcom as the finale, but I totally get how it is possibly too early for that level of reveal. Seeing either Neil or Kevin's dad out of the sitcom was a good alternative but I didn't feel that we got enough of Neil in the real world. We stayed in the sitcom filter right through the physical assault and only broke into reality once Patti hit him. And I don't think we really got to see the real Neil. I think it would have worked better if the switch to real life had happened as the assault began. Because that attack would not have happened in the sitcom and if felt kind of jarring and confusing.
The other thing is, I find it hard to get a read on Real Neil, from the assault. Obviously it was graphic violence. But Neil had just found out that Allison is trying to have his best friend murdered. That's a massive thing to just discover. It doesn't justify him trying to choke her on the kitchen counter obviously. But it also means that how he reacted isn't necessarily a reflection on who he really is before this point. And I feel a need to know who the person is and what they are like before I can fully judge their reaction to a very extreme situation.-
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16 hours ago, HeySandyStrange said:
Speaking of Teela’s brawn, I appreciated how jacked she (and really all of the main female characters) were. It’s nice to see warrior women who actually look like they can kick serious ass.
See I thought this was great for Teela and Andra. Especially how Teela was totally jacked and Andra less but still respectably so. It made absolute sense for their characters. I wasn't wholly convinced that Evil-Lyn would be working out her upper-body so much but could accept it. Once we got to the barely able to stand straight, elderly dying Sorceress with excellent muscular definition though, I was just annoyed by the animators. It just made me feel like they were unable to draw any other kind of arm.
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6 hours ago, DrSpaceman73 said:
My feeling is Sam is bigger trouble and more of a douche than Kevin. Kevin is selfish and his actions hurt Allison as a result but he isn't malicious towards her. He is truly ignorant of how his life causes so much hurt towards her.
Sam strikes me as a different type of problem, like he wouldn't blink an eye hurting Allison if it saved himself. Seems like he will use anyone for his needs. I'm sure this isn't his first affair not based on how he acts. Who knows if he's even truly sober.
100%. I found the set up with Sam going home was initially sympathetic as it was from his perspective. We could see that his in laws clearly don't like him and he definitely made what could be the genuine mistake of using Jenn's frustration with her parents as an opportunity to unload his feelings about them. Which was a bit of a step too far because even without Sam's background, we all know that "I can rant about my brother but I'll defend him if anyone else is mean about him" is a normal human reaction to our families. And that's without the fact that we know Sam has been unfaithful to Jenn, which at least on some level she is aware of and hurting from. We know that as an alcoholic he probably caused utter chaos in her life, that her parents probably had to help her through. And we know that her parents have had to provide very significant financial support to them which Sam is more resentful for than grateful. When Sam was ranting about how Jenn and her family treat him Jenn's response made it clear that Sam has behaved appallingly in their marriage, affecting Jenn's family. And his reaction was to walk out. Which as the ex spouse of an alcoholic is absolute torture because storming out of the house due to a disagreement is usually done expressly to get very drunk. And even if Sam isn't intending to drink, he knows that until he is back, Jenn will be going through hell.
We also saw in the last episode that he was very angry that Allison wouldn't meet him after work for sex because, from his perspective, she was going out with her husband to celebrate his birthday. I've never had an affair or been the other women. But if I was, as much as it might smart, I'd think that prioritising your spouses birthday over a booty call would be pretty standard. Because regardless of how you felt about your spouse at the point in the marriage where you are cheating, how would you even justify not going to their birthday dinner in your normal way? But Sam was full of self-righteous anger about it. Sam is more physically attractive than Kevin, probably more capable of intelligent conversation on a variety of topics and on a surface level (such as to the restaurant staff) he probably comes across as more mature and polite. But other than that, he is as terrible a person.-
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This episode has really left me wondering WTF Neil's deal is. His need for constant validation from Kevin was beyond next level in this episode. I really, really want to see him outside the sitcom setting. He's actually starting to disturb me more than Kevin.
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Season 1 & 2 Discussion
in Ted Lasso
That's irrelevant. All the money in the world won't make her upper class. She is very clearly middle class. It's not the same in the UK as it is in most other places.