[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

Thank you for sharing your treasure, boes. As an avid Fallout player, I love it.. And thank you for your kind words, everyone. 

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

Dear Billy Abbott;

I’m so glad you’ve revived your advice column, though it’s rather unusual to write it using your real, legal name. Since you used a Chancellor Winters slush fund to purchase the Genoa City Blowhole, I guess that’s your prerogative. I need help with an obnoxious, egotistical co-worker. Imagine a motivational speaker high on bath salts and Red Bull, a creepily earnest youth pastor and an aardvark smooshed together and stuffed in the body of a sun bleached scarecrow. He wants to append his mother’s married name to our company’s name, which would require some amount of time and money invested in rebranding, marketing, etc. I think he just wants his last name on the letterhead. He also wants to demote my brother. This clown shoe keeps raving about “potential” and “this is our time” but offers no concrete ideas or plans, just questionable moves that benefit him. I’m also pretty sure he’s low key trying to get in my pants again. Hey, bub, did you really think a bag of chips (I know you get that shit for free, being the boss lady’s son) would persuade me to sink to your level?

Lily Winters, Teller of Truths

Dear Lily;

My advice? Give that dude what he wants. He’s like a perpetual motion machine that can’t stop, won’t stop until he gets what he wants or flames out spectacularly. And when the shit hits the fan, it splatters on everyone who stood in his way. Legit reasons to slow his roll bounce off his impenetrable armor of self regard. Also, his mother will die of a broken heart if you don’t agree with him. Do you want that on your conscience? Do you? BTW, the guy is in a committed relationship, so he’s totally not hitting on you. But, like, if you two ended up naked on the desk, he would not be disappointed.

Dear Billy Abbott;

Everyone is being super mean to me. My mom, a total ditz, is all up in my grill because I’m better at bidness than her. Then my dad gets huffy when I point that out. Now, I did make sure that my mom got the job I desperately wanted, but a good mom would gracefully decline. She abandoned me for years. She owes me. I had to grow up alone in a big mansion with an uncle who caused earthquakes when he sneezed. Once, a heavy book was jostled off a shelf and onto my little head. I grew a protective hair buffer and have worn it ever since. Anyways, I really want to bang my son’s nanny. And maybe I’ll take a job with my dad’s enemy. That’ll teach him.

Kyle Abbott, The Smirk Just Works

Dear Kyle;

First of all, stop lying to yourself. That elaborate follicular structure atop your head is there because you think it looks fly as fuck. Also, with the way your nanny keeps aging backwards, I’d keep your pop gun holstered until she bounces back to adulthood. Let it never be said that I wasn’t a beacon of positivity though! Break free from your parents and the corporate drama, little bouffant bird. Definitely land in the viper’s nest at Newman Enterprises, where your talents will be appreciated and your family ties won’t be weaponized. You’ll be a few rungs on the corporate ladder below the handsome fellow that you drove out of a job at Jabot with your titty baby tantrums, but I’m sure he’s not the type to hold a grudge. Good luck!

Dear William Foster Abbott;

It’s such a relief not to be hiding behind pseudonyms anymore, isn’t it? Although there is a bit of an illicit thrill in the high class game of hiding ugly truths behind false fronts. Speaking of false fronts, I am being troubled to no end by a certain harridan who believes that being married to a man takes him out of my sphere of control. The cheek! Yes, her husband spent an evening in a hotel room with me and almost died to prove a point, but I’m sober now and isn’t that what matters? If her marriage can’t withstand a little overdose, well, that’s hardly my problem. She even had the gall to question the strength of my marriage! Fortunately, my husband blames her husband entirely, which means I come out as clean as servant-polished silver. This shrew was gauche enough to be salty with me in public. Tsk tsk. In an unrelated matter, one of my hallways reeks of brussel sprouts. Could there be poors living in my walls?

Nicole Newman, Countess Chocula

Dear Nicole;

You know what would actually be a relief? If you didn’t hide your crass selfishness behind haughty, lady of the manor fancy talk. I put my self absorption right out on front street and I choose to believe people respect me for it. Look, I sincerely congratulate you on your sobriety, but you need to do something about being high on the Newman supply 24/7. You may not care about my brother’s marriage (been there, done that), but your husband is a total psychopath who blames him for… I don’t know, what could have happened? If my brother is your bestie, nip your dark lord’s campaign of vengeance in the bud before he replaces my brother with another South American narcotics kingpin. Wow. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d type. Anyways, I wouldn’t worry too much about the pungent sprout odor. One of the maids probably forgot to clean Nick’s litter box again.

[B&B: What's Up Today at Forrester Creations? - Daily Chat]

What the hell, Brooke? Why stand there and let Steffy berate and command you, not to mention trash your daughter right to your face? It’s interesting that Steffy believes Hope can somehow manipulate and influence Finn’s feelings toward Sheila, and by interesting, I mean deeply insulting. She really doesn’t believe her husband can form his own opinions and is so mentally weak that Hope can somehow hypnotize him into spending more time with Sheila.

Also, Steffy needs to stop saying that Finn and Hope went to that wedding together. That just did not happen.

Katie is so uncouth. Good lord, her behavior was embarrassing, barging into her ex-husband’s home and asking those personal questions. I don’t care one way or another about Bill and Poppy, but I can’t stand watching such a cringe level of thirst. 

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - Fuck Off Friday

Billy has his nostrils running wide open, the better to inflate his giant head. He’s still on his Abbott Chancellor Winters bullshit, frantically, desperately skeezebombing Lily with every manipulative trick in his arsehole arsenal. Lily bakes his buttbiscuits but good.

Tucker seems resistant to the idea that Audra wants him to fuck straight off. (Don’t jump into an elevator with a woman who doesn’t want anything to do with you, sadsack!) Audra tells him all about himself and that she has an ‘angel investor’ helping her seize Glissade. The angel is of the fallen type. Like Lucifer. The devil. Satan. I’m trying to tell you it’s Victor. Feel the excitement.

Victor is also trying to lure Kyle to Newman Enterprises. That’s not revenge on Jack; that’s self-sabotage.

Jack and Diane dine without their big haired baby. Jack’s all “whatever, whatever, I do what I want” about his friendship with Nikki. Nikki comes to pick up takeout, as the wives of billionaires are wont to do. Each lady implies the other should fuck off.

Upon arriving home, Jack announces he’s taking off for Paris. For a second, I wondered if he was Audra’s mystery investor, as he is no fan of Tucker. Nah, it’s the usual “Victor Newman is Master of the Universe” song and dance. Kyle is a condescending twit, but gets his bouffant in a bristle when daddy scolds him.

Tucker sends an operative to spy on Glissade and, hopefully, to bring him back a complimentary comb. 

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

1 hour ago, Chatty Cake said:

Must Mariah be such an asshole all the time? Gossiping about Summer again. Grow up already

I am definitely the world’s biggest asshole, because going off on Summer brings me a lot of joy.

Seriously, the whole Claire story is weird and off putting. It seems like the whole thing should be more complicated and emotional. It didn’t feel like any time was spent on how shocking it would be to find out your dead infant was alive and is now an adult who was brainwashed into believing she was abandoned. Like, holy shit, that’s huge! Victoria and Cole just took it in stride and formed a syrupy sweet family unit with her. We haven’t even gotten scenes of Claire meeting her siblings. Instead, we’re knee deep in this bizarre nanny shitshow. Someone needs to tell Kyle it’s creepy and inappropriate to bang the nanny.

5 minutes ago, realitytvfan1017 said:

Tucker deserves better than Audra. I hope he is able to turn the tables on her and come out on top.

I love Tucker, but he needs to admit he still wants to be with Ashley. Audra isn’t wrong about that, imo. 

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I’m still gobsmacked they broke Katie and Carter up offscreen for this hot mess of a story. How lazy can you get? Maybe write Katie and Carter as having issues alongside Poppy and Bill reconnecting so this somewhat makes sense. I mean, Katie and Carter weren’t lighting the world on fire, but they had a nice, functional relationship. Katie is so unpleasant when she goes into “I own Bill” mode.

I have to give Carter props for his top notch reactions and asides today.

Isn’t it great how Steffy can have Liam as her shadow but Finn can’t be friends with Hope? I’m pretty sure Steffy was describing herself while talking about what a manipulative maneater Hope was. She was projecting like an IMAX theatre. 

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - Bedhead and Bouffants

Victoria and Cole go on a date. Claire makes them promise not to talk about her. They spend most of the evening thinking they’re cute as hell by talking about NOT talking about Claire.

Summer unveils her greatest superpower - transforming a stone fox into an unappealing drip I no longer want to see buck ass naked. She worries Harrison will forget her like he’s forgotten his bio-mom. Summer is too dense to realize she’s too fucking annoying to forget.

Claire is chilling at home with a book until Kyle drops by to return her wallet. Harrison “found” it while playing Robbers & Robbers (there are no cops in GC). Kyle is peacocking hard with his fuckboi smirk and mile high hair. Claire shares a charming anecdote about how her Aunt Jordan forced her to analyze real life crimes. Mariah drops by to bond over terrible childhoods. 

Tucker has a severe case of bedhead and has reverted to mopey emo dipshit status. He gives Audra a quick summary of the Ashley crisis and tries to woo her by giving her Glissade. Audra tells him to eat shit and die.

[B&B: What's Up Today at Forrester Creations? - Daily Chat]

Clearly there was an Emmy category for Best Portrayal of a Boorish Ogre. Right? Right. *sob*

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

I really hope Alan isn’t actually Martin. Let Martin die how he lived, under his brother’s shadow. Another twin switch would be too cute by half, plus I dig Alan’s laidback vibe.

Y’all can love Phyllis all you want, but no one will ever love Phyllis the way Phyllis loves Phyllis. 

[B&B: What's Up Today at Forrester Creations? - Daily Chat]

Boy, Steffy really can’t tolerate any dissent. Yikes. Thankfully she has her little yes-waffle on call to blow copious amounts of sunshine up her nose.

Finn’s game is so cringe. Telling Hope again that she embodies the name of her line? Please stop. Keep making out though.

I hope Brooke changes her mind.

 

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - I’m in Love Again

Martin has trussed up his brother like a Thanksgiving turkey in a matter of minutes. He seems like a pretty high functioning sociopath, right? Hold on to that thought.

Tucker shows up at Alan’s and finds Traci stubbornly, stupidly combative and secretive. Tucker is looking swank in his casual wear and meets Traci’s deflections with a delightful smirk. Traci inexplicably does not swoon, but I do.

As it turns out, Martin is kind of a dumbass. He’s dragged Ashley upstairs and struggles with the dead weight of his unconscious victim. She wakes up, Martin flips his lid, she screams, Alan finally frees himself and emerges from his closet prison as Tucker and Traci arrive. Martin shares his one wish, that he was an only child, and tries to make that happen. He goes splat! off the balcony. Alan lands on him.

No one will tell Tucker a fucking thing, so he goes back to his hotel to drink and scream.

Ashley can identify her alters and that one of them was hella determined to murder Tucker. Alan reveals that while Martin’s asshole behavior unleashed the alters, a childhood trauma created them. Excuse you? That kind of information could have been shared earlier.

OMFG is show going to let Traci have an honest to god boyfriend?

Ashley agrees to go to le clinique after an emotional conversation with Jack and his bathrobe.

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - PSA: CSOSS

Convenient Soap Opera Stupidity Syndrome affects 1 out of 2 soap characters and is known as the silent epidemic of daytime. Does your favorite character suffer from this chronic, relentless condition?

KNOW THE SIGNS!!

• An inability to apply newly acquired data to relevant situations. For example, suppose A learns that B has an evil twin who is obsessed with B’s acquaintances. B leaves A’s sight briefly. Upon return, B is putting out a different vibe and contradicting himself. A victim of CSOSS will never even suspect B is B2, allowing B2 to B a jerk.
• Contradiction blindness, as referred to above. B: Traci is admirable in the way she supports you every step of the way. Later - B: Traci is blowing up my spot. GTFO. A change of opinion that should normally cause whiplash provokes no reaction? CSOSS.
• A bizarre lack of survival instinct. A knows B has an evil twin, as does A’s sister C. B is blatantly contradicting himself on how to treat A, attempting to isolate A by convincing C to leave them alone , and, let’s face it, is quite obviously B2, who they all know is in the city. Hello? C still leaves.

Is there a cure? Why does it seem to affect women characters more than men? Experts have detected various strains of misogyny in daytime drama scripts for decades. Treatment involves better writing that can move from one plot point to the next without turning characters into idiots to finesse the journey. Sadly, few television executives ever prescribe what they see as a radical treatment.

The more you know…

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - Slow Your Troll

Kids, you’ll never believe this, but Friday episodes of soap operas used to be exciting and would sometimes even feature a cliffhanger. It wasn’t always a monotonous slog through dull, annoying conversations.

Kyle and Summer blah blah blah. These two idiots will probably get back together and be twice as annoying as they are individually. Harrison has mastered the art of pointing at things. His parents practically weep with pride. Summer fixes her face to talk about Kyle’s mother. Kyle sprains his wrist patting himself on the back for being an underhanded dick at work.

Claire and Harrison serve up treacle coated turds as an appetizer for the main course - a ham-fisted butterfly metaphor as subtle as it is clever. Which is to say, not at all.

Ask not for whom the prick trolls; Vic trolls for thee. First he pushes Diane’s buttons about Jagabbott’s pill-poppin’ good time in a rude, condescending manner, takes a moment to fire the Great Betrayer Michael Baldwin, and then winds down by fucking with Kyle’s massive ego.

Jack and Nikki find a new addiction, the heady, robust aroma of each other’s farts.

After an awkward conversation filled with passive aggressive jabs, Summer hires Sally to fill in for Chelsea.

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

Wouldn’t it be great if other characters had twins that were opposite? Billy’s would be suave, insightful and responsible, Chelsea’s twin might spend time thinking about others, Kyle’s could possibly be believable as a father. Summer’s would definitely suck like her, but, like, in a different way. Nothing good can ever be cooked in the meth lab that is Phyllis’ reproductive system, especially with Nick supplying some of the chems.

Imagine a Victor that didn’t transform into a bat during the moon’s waning gibbous phase or a Tucker that still enjoyed trolling the fine citizens of Genoa City with a smile. I’d like to think Danny’s twin would lean into the gray hair thing and make decent music.

[B&B: What's Up Today at Forrester Creations? - Daily Chat]

Steffy is vile. She’s just about reached unwatchable status for me, a lofty perch once solely occupied by her gross older brother. She thinks she’s such a hot shit CEO when her only qualification has been who her father and grandfather are.

Imagine showing up at your niece’s workplace to tell her that her mother is a gold digging whore. Li could put her rabid protectiveness to better use by getting between Finn and his abusive wife.

Did something happen with Katie and Carter? Why has Poppy had such a dramatic change of heart about Luna’s father? I guess I’m just used to stories that are built on some kind of, you know, logical foundation. 

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - Merde

The Eiffel Tower and accordion music create a magical and authentic French atmosphere. A dour, emo Tucker forces Audra to slap him in the jowls with the partially thawed salmon of truth, explaining yet again she won’t settle for being low on his priority list. Later, Tucker stumbles into an alternate dimension where all the scenery is just terrible green screens and Alan doesn’t know who the hell he is.

Ashley, Traci and Alan arrive in 100% real Paris. Traci treats Ashley like a delicate live grenade. Holy smokes, Traci got to talk to a man she’s not related to! Ashley’s alters fight for control inside her head. 

Ashley isn’t the only Abbott with extra personalities. Jack’s alter, Jerk, emerges to justify his toxic, one-sided relationship with Nikki and to idiotically defend his idiotic decision to become her sponsor again. Diane is not fucking having it and uppercuts him with a half frozen cod of hell no. Jack takes it all back, maybe.

Look at Claire, being all adorably nervous about her first day as a nanny. Awwww. SQUEE! Pile that saccharine on with a dump truck, douchebags. Meanwhile, Kyle picks up Summer for their prom date and - wait, I’m being told they’re watching Harrison ride his bike. We inexplicably are not. Claire arrives. Harrison is happy, Kyle smiles and praises everything Claire says and does. Summer is crabby. This is all so dumb and contrived.

 

[B&B: What's Up Today at Forrester Creations? - Daily Chat]

How gross was all that? Liam gleefully gloating because Finn “disobeyed” his wife and then Steffy scolding Finn like he was a puppy who piddled on the carpet… so much cringe. Liam’s new role as the wandering condescending jackass is not a good one.

No better day of the week than Exposition Tuesday, where RJ and Luna rehash the Bill/Poppy relationship after they themselves rehashed it for Katie. Please, tell me more about this offscreen past. Just don’t get to the fucking point about the identity of Luna’s father.

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - Couples Therapy

Turd brown is apparently still on trend in Genoa City. Summer and Chelsea blather about their sons while the one not talking pretends to care. Chelsea takes a leave of absence and suggests Sally as a replacement. Summer is leery as Sally dabbles in colors other than brown.

Claire de-ages until she’s a child Harrison’s age trapped in an adult’s body. Summer trusts her to be the kid’s nanny after Claire admits to “doing her own research.” Kyle’s penis is intrigued by a Newman who has never been a potential sibling.

Here’s a little ditty about Jack and Diane, Tucker’s manspreading as wide as he can. Diane tries hard not to look directly into the junk. Jack is deeply offended. Tucker learns Ashley will be in Paris, because a surprise encounter might be too exciting for viewers.

Sally and Adam dine and smash. Adam asks her to move in. He finds religion, which promptly loses his morose ass the second Adam looks away. Sally admires his manpain from a distance.

Sharon makes a random drive by. Audra video calls Tucker from Paris, the City of Terrible Lighting.

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - Misery Loves Company

Hot diggity damn, we’re off to a rousing start as Chelsea and Adam hit the cafe to mope about Connor’s terminal case of OCD. Chelsea’s affinity for turd brown remains strong, as seen by her choice of blouse and the arrival of ambulatory skid mark Nicholas Newman. Dude low key puts the moves on Chelsea after Adam leaves to visit Sally. Did you know? Connor’s OCD is all about Chelsea. Just ask her.

Cole and Michael are busted in the dungeon and sent to the principal’s office. Victor, a psychopath and malignant narcissist, gives in on Jordan’s imprisonment once Cole and Michael propose an idiotic plan to make him the hero. Jordan is actually in no danger of starving when you consider all the scenery still left to chew in the basement. Victor chloroforms his prisoner. Probably keeps that shit next to the zip ties and tarps.

Tucker offers us exposition on Audra’s bidness hijinks in Paris.

Jack and Traci fuss over Ashley, who finally meets Lipstick and Decolletage. The annoying alters are banished back to their cotton ball world for the moment as Ashley decides to go to Paris with Alan to figure this ish out. Hey! Tucker is also headed to Paris! We could be on a collision course with excitement, but probably not.

In one last contrived coincidence, Chelsea needs to take a leave of absence to gaze more deeply into her own navel while Sally longs to design fashion again. 

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

42 minutes ago, Denize said:

Summer has worn that asymmetric potato sack before and I still hate it.

I must applaud Summer’s marketing savvy. Everyone knows you put the embarrassing shit in a plain brown wrapper. 

[B&B: What's Up Today at Forrester Creations? - Daily Chat]

I’d accuse the show of using AI generated scripts, but a computer would find a much more logical way to have Finn to show up at the wedding. Bell’s lazy, contrived writing insults the intelligence of the audience. Hell, it insults the intelligence of cucumbers. Granted, I’m the fool who keeps turning on the show.

I wonder where Steffy would get the idea that Finn could be easily manipulated by a woman to do whatever that woman wanted without any regard for his own feelings? Projection much? Steffy, being one of the worst misogynists on the show, naturally will blame Hope. On the plus side, Liam might overdose on smug and be rendered comatose.

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - Asshole Family Values

Three assholes walk into a restaurant. That’s not the beginning of a joke. Nick, Summer and Phyllis spend low-quality time being charmless and off-putting together. Nick shows off the asshole whispering skills he’s honed over the years.

Claire’s excited to ride her first horsey! Yay!

In the park, Kyle pretends to be a bird, possibly the Cringe-footed tit. Harrison discovers fresh new traumas as his father is curb stomped by a flock of rogue peacocks who mistake his bristling bouffant for territorial aggression.

Cole mobilizes for deployment in a high stakes mission where he and Michael Baldwin will step on rakes and slam their genitalia in a car door. Cole puts on an ultra smooth facade for Victoria and Claire, while Michael artfully finesses Victor and Nikki out the door. Nothing about their behavior is sus.

Harrison thinks he sees the witch again, which is weird because Phyllis is actually at Society mugging for the camera. He’s caught on to Summer’s disdain for Claire. Kyle denies it, though to be fair, he has no idea Summer is wishing for a magic wand that could erase Claire from existence. POUT!

Michael infiltrates the Newman compound and summons his partner in futility. They descend into the vampire’s crypt, but dun dun dun! Father Time is undefeated, thanks to the Great Value motion sensors glued to the wall. Busted! Victor abandons Nikki to dinner with schmucks as he races to prevent his psychotic plan from unraveling.

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - Bailouts for Billionaires 

Jack, Traci and Alan attempt to discern the source of Ashley’s trauma without any input from Ashley. Tucker and real Ashley play an irritating game of “I’m not touching you!”

Cole meets Michael and spills the brussel’s sprouts about Victor’s private prison. Michael requires no convincing. Cole pays him a dollar for services rendered, and considering the solution Michael concocts, he owes Cole 0.99 cents.

A roller disco enthusiast and a wide eyed ingenue blither blather.

Jordan tries to pick her cell’s lock. Victor has a chuckle at her expense and states the obvious: he has no human decency.

Nikki returns from rehab.

Tucker escorts Ashley home, where Jack acts like a paternalistic donkey. Alan behaves like a normal person, which probably won’t work out well for him in Genoa City.

Michael decides that he and Cole should surreptitiously smuggle Jordan out of Victor’s prison and into a real one. See where this is going? When Jordan inevitably escapes, it will be the dumbass duo’s fault and Victor will skate on his bullshit again. Dig up, stupids.

There’s a Newman family reunion! I don’t care. 

 

[B&B: What's Up Today at Forrester Creations? - Daily Chat]

From the Are You Fucking Kidding Me Files:

Deacon’s restaurant is where Steffy and Finn order pizzas from? Really? On the same day as the big wedding, at a place that has already hosted a funeral service? Of course Deacon and Sheila are getting married there. Did Steffy order ahead, and if so, why the hell would the staff take the order? Such terrible, dumb writing.

Sheila, you dope. Does Finn look like he’s dressed for a wedding? (Wouldn’t Finn know where the wedding was since Deacon begged him to come? God, this is such horseshit).

The amazing array of expressions at the end was the best part. 

 

[Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat]

A Brief Recap - Pricks of Misery

Connor is miserable. Adam and Chelsea are miserable. The audience is forced to wallow in their mutual misery.

Victor performs more cruciferous vegetable based torture on his hostage. Cole doggedly pursues the Brussels sprout trail to its logical conclusion - a wine cellar that reeks of booze, pungent produce and Victor’s hellish trapped cabbage farts. Hey, it’s Jordan!

Tucker and Nate launch an uninspired dick measuring contest. Ashley’s annoying alters debate the merits of homiciding Tucker.

All in all, quite dreary. Zero drama or suspense wrung out of Cole discovering Victor’s secret wine cellar prison. The OCD storyline just goes in depressing circles.