SweetRenee

I'm really sad to see such judgement on Shannon. The way Shelly is treating her is judgemental and she is a bully and a gossip. Formerly, Shannon made some big mistakes. She has not matured socially, because of trauma and addiction. The kids were in the best place for them, and she did the right thing signing them over. She has not been a good mother in the past. But, things changed for her and Mckayla. They both find themselves pregnant. Shannon is now sober and trying to heal herself to be more involved, but what is happening to her is that when she is trying, and Shelly is putting her down and making her feel bad about the past. Shannon is trying to heal herself so she can learn to be there for others. She can't do that when everybody is hampering it by gossip and bullying. Someone should not be held responsible for the rest of their life for mistakes they made in the past. Especially somebody who is trying to fix it and to move forward and be there now. She may not have been there in the past but she is there now. She admits her faults. She is trying to get involved. 8 to 10 yrs sober. That is a monumental change. How many of us can say we have changed that much? My own life mimicked Shannon's, similarly, when I was a younger woman. I stayed away because every time I went to see her, my mother would be so rude and so in-hospitable to me that I would end up leaving, crying. I had to fight tooth and nail to get my child back, and I got her home by 5 but the fact of the matter is, I wasn't hanging around because of the way I got treated when I would come to see my daughter in front of her. I changed my life for her and not for myself and nobody deserves to be put down when they're doing the best they can to get whole. Addiction is a very selfish thing. Certainly, Shannon has not been there in the past, but she's trying now, and I think the way Shelly is judging her is causing her not to want to be there. Shelly is hampering her recovery with her daughter and it is really between she and her daughter not between Shelly, she and her daughter. It is nice that Shelly helped out. It was nice that my own mother helped me out, in my situation, but there comes a point where you have to allow them to heal and not to hamper that. What Shelly is doing is judging Shannon so that Shannon will feel she is inferior and will back off, because Shelly doesn't really want to see them heal or bond. Shelly wants Makayla to bond with her, and she wants to be the only grandmother. This happens a lot and families where one is inferior and is treated as a scapegoat. Shelly isn't stating the real reason. Shelly wants to be in control of everything. She doesn't want the other mother involved and that's why the other mother wasn't a participant in the shower; because she would have been abused verbally, or gossiped about. Nobody wants to be a target. I am completely on Shannon side. 100000% I know exactly what that woman is going through, and Shelly is a judgemental, controlling and unfeeling- calloused woman, who has no compassion. I feel for Shannon, so bad, because I have been in her shoes. If every time she shows up, if she's treated like shit, she will eventually feel she is not welcome, and nobody wants to continually be emotionally or verbally battered or gosdipped about. When you feel unwelcome, you leave. People could say ... oh I'd never stop trying ... but, you weren't in her shoes, and you don't know how hard it is. I don't blame Shannon one bit for not wanting to be around that awful woman. You can't stand there beating a dog, and then not understand why it doesn't stand up. Or why it cowars. Bullying is a bad thing, and it devastates and ruins lives and what she did to that girl and her mother by interfering is wrong. I also heard Shelly saying that Shannon was all about herself, and not about McKayla. And that's a lie. If it was true, she wouldn't be there trying to participate. Shelly has made it all about herself. She kept saying that she has been the one there, and she's done this and she's done that and she planned this and she planned that well she did, but she made no place for Shannon to participate. I think Shelly needs to see what a horrible person she is from the eyes of the other side. Judgemental behavior and gossip may be what's keeping somebody from becoming whole and/or preventing healing. People make the choice to become whole and to get sober and then, they try to fix things because they realize their mistakes. What kind of awful human being would stand in the way of somebody who is trying to fix their relationship with their own child and grandchild? I hope they read this someday. I'm sure some of you will fly me for my response, but it is honest. The dual side of gosdip and judgement is poison. Shelly is poisoning the air where they are trying to blow out the past with her judgement and gossip. McKayla is now an adult and a mother. She's been raised well by her grandparents and she is a whole person. She's lived through a lot. Not even she is judging her own mother. if you want to see somebody change when they are trying, lift them up don't push them down. And then encourage them to keep up the good work and they will do their best. if Shelly really wanted to see Shannon involved, she would be helping her and encouraging her not putting her down. Which kind of person are you going to choose to be? I know which kind I am.. What a blessed little child, who now has two Grandmother's. Not just one. And both are sober. Both love her.