Nikkerpotomous

Gone Crackers & ctbabe - I think you said what I was trying to say in less words. In real life we get that choice "Is this person worth dealing with this certain piece of BS for the rest of my life?" Or you flat out tell them I cannot deal with XYZ. This is coming from experience. Like Gone Crackers said - don't change for the person, but it can allow someone to see the consequences of their actions. I had to break off an engagement due to behavior- but it was that realization that if he didn't change that I REALLY would walk that made him want to change. I'm not saying we have a perfect relationship, but it has allowed for better communication and actions over the years. This applies to certain people because their spouses KNOW they have an out after 6 weeks, and it is a good time to see if (a) that person is worth it (b) they will put in the effort to change. I'm not sure if my thought processes is coming out as clear here as it is in my head.

I think a lot of nastiness coming from Heather is not necessarily directed at Derek, I feel if you read in between the lines it is directed at the staff of the show. In Unfiltered, she made the comment how "no one else has to live this decision". That to me is directed at them, not Derek. I am sure she got a lot of pressure from them to stay in it, when she put her foot down, it became a problem. Thank goodness she travels so much for her job, that they can't just pound on her door all day waiting for her to come out. I really wonder if she came to them after the wedding and they asked her to just give it through the honeymoon, and if when sparks didn't fly she said "I did what I said, I'm done." Also, when is unfiltered filmed? After the whole season was filmed, correct? If so, Nick and Sonia are still together. When Jamie asked the question about the honey-do list he said how he just bought a "honey-do" calendar for the the both of them, and was waiting for it to come in the mail." Many of us have asked/been asked "how do you know if someone in the one?" For me, the answer was someone who you love enough that you are willing to look past their flaws/negative traits. That being said, maybe that is why I have a skewed opinion on the men this season. As much as I might dislike some of them, I feel bad for them. Someone might have a really bad temper, and they might need someone willing to deal with that temper for the long run to help them change it. So many of our bad habits come from our parents, and we deal the same way we saw things being dealt with growing up. People can and will change if they love someone enough. Yes, Derek was snarky and snappy, but that is something that could have been worked on, he could have learned to stop for a moment before reacting. It looks like Heather is REALLY into yoga and it's teachings, maybe she could have shown him how to relax with that instead of the 'supposed' weed. Nick is the same. He holds things in until he snaps. He needs someone who is sweet and understanding enough to deal with him until he can loosen the valve and let things out a little at a time. Someone who realizes that he says the most hurtful thing to vent, not because he means it. I'm not saying it is OK, but I am pretty sure there are things we all do that if it were on TV, someone would watch it and say "what a d!&k move!". IMO, working on and changing a behavior is admitting you are wrong, and being sorry. Last point before I move on is the subliminal messaging in this show. Background music plays SUCH a HUGE role in making us have an emotion, and they do it so much on this show. Oh, Nick is a jerk *insert angry music*. Feel bad for Nick *insert violin music*. TH from all different times are used as a side of the same scene to support what they WANT you to feel. 3 different outfits while talking about the same subject? I think not. Mostly, they use Unfiltered and the other 15 min. one to manipulate before the current episode airs, as well as to get emotions running before the next airs. I know you all are not dumb and know this, but it is interesting to watch things out of order, or take certain things out of the equation and see how your perception changes. PS- the way these women use the word "like" ALL THE FLIPPIN' TIME drives me BONKERS!!! Valley Girls went out of style in the '80's, please stop!!

Anyone else think the producers have been putting bugs of false hope in Derek's ear to keep things rolling?

I really wish the producers would hire different make-up artists. The fake eyelashes and eye shadow keep getting worse as the show goes on. Now onto the show. Nick reminds me of my BIL- so he is annoying me even more so, now. I love how he pushes Sonia away, but the previews show him wanting her back. You never know what you lost until it's gone. Maybe next time he might think about handling things like an adult. Serves you right Ass-hat. Also, I applaud Rachel for supporting Sonia on walking out on Nick. I could see where in previous seasons they would have kept pushing her back in. Plus she said she kind of wants a dog now, which gives her points in my book. ;) Thought #2- Isn't it amazing how they are dragging out what little footage they have of Derek and Heather to have a little something in each episode? They keep using the SAME parts of the SAME TH over and over again. Also, when they do the "unfiltered" segment- what is with the interviews with Heather? It's obvious from both sound and backdrop that she was not interviewed in the same place as everyone else (on the couch with the red blanket). So why do we have Jamie sitting there smiling and nodding her head as if she is talking to her? Quite comical. They keep trying to make it look like they might get back together, but the truth is, if they did, we would be watching the footage already. Hence the little message to the viewers about the other couple in "unfiltered". To me, it seems as thought they are trying to prove that they work, and it isn't for ratings. I give Heather points for not ratting out Derek on whatever the deal breaker was. It is obviously something that would not go well for him, or the show so she is playing the bitch-role to protect him. I think he really did have feelings for her, he seems a little stuffy nosed and teary eyed (from something other than hitting the pipe too hard) during some of the TH, and I think the reason he was so upset about the surfers/etc. was because he was jealous- due to said feelings. Tom and Lilly- they are good for the most part. She is sensitive and he is reserved. They may or may not work it out, but the drama there is more that it would be without a show.

AMEN to that. You can see the large generation out there (which yes, I am part of) whom need constant feedback, attention, and all seem to think everyone is going to make it big as reality TV/youtube sensations. That is the pool of people who do this stuff. I really don't believe that they "had no clue what they were getting into". I know someone who was applying to go on a reality "dating show" a few years back. She got to the third round and simply said, this is not for me, I cannot do this, or put my family through this. That's just my thoughts though - I wanted to do Real World/Road Rules too when I was in H.S., but later grew out of that phase. I don't necessarily think that she didn't live there, but to be honest, all the contestants still have their permanent residences to keep their stuff. They know the marriage is a trial run, so I think they just don't bring all/a lot of their stuff with. Chances are whatever you move in, has to be moved out. Is it just me, or was she not only sleeping but also keeping all her stuff in the guest room? Related to that statement: they can't really be sleeping when they film them "sleeping". I'm thinking of a scene last week where Sonia and Nick were cuddled facing each other and "sleeping". I doubt the crew sneaks in quietly just to get that film bit. Little things like that also scream staged to me.

You know they are doing a bad job with the matches, when a chat room/discussion board can go this long with no comments on anything. There is nothing new to touch on. I guess we are just waiting for Tuesday around here. ;)

Both of you are so right! Especially when you think about that fact that most of them have the types of jobs where they don't necessarily keep "normal" hours, they would be doing something......Gosh, even Jacklyn and Basement Ryan went out to buy sheets and towels!

Rocketgirl- Those "experts" were no doubt (A) in it for the fame, and (B) hired based on their looks more than work ethic. (IMO, of course) I hadn't seen that many blinged out blazers since Michael Jackson, or tight dresses with smokey eyes since the last time I watch RHWONJ! Honestly, the new ones haven't done much to impress me yet, but I don't hate them either. Although, I do dig the no-nonsense approach of the Pastor.

I didn't watch season one, but I have noticed for the last 3 seasons that the Experts keep doing the same damn thing--Matching two opposite personalities with some sort of similar background in common- i.e. absent mother/father, big family. If it hasn't worked, why do they keep doing it!?! (ratings, duh......but let us pretend that they are descent people who care about other people). Opposites attract sometimes, not always. I feel like Sonia and Nick are heading in the direction of Tres and Vanessa. There was something in the beginning, then some boinking, then all of a sudden, the guy checks out. No wonder Sonia was so adamant about physical contact- he gave it and took it away just as fast. Something HAD to have happened, because the producers saw everything before splicing and dicing. That is why they keep using the same TH and pushing home the point of intimacy, it is what they want us to focus on.

I was also thinking how they were the primary couple in the beginning, but now that they are a well-functioning couple, they spend less time on them, and continue to focus on any dysfunction that they can find. If Tom and Lilly don't make it, the only thing I can think of is that it will be "the hottest fire burns out the fastest" situation.

I was thinking the same thing about the dogs, Waterlilly! Especially on her way out when she said "Sorry your daddy is a *******". His comment about a relationship "shouldn't be work" is just making me want to throat punch him. Obviously he hasn't ever lived with anyone or has a very in depth relationship because the best relationships take the most work. GAH! What a turd-burglar! I have to say my favorite preview clip is when the Pastor tells him that "marriage is not for Punks!". Good for him, it is time to stop sugar coating it. This isn't little league, you don't get a trophy just for showing up......*coughNICKcough* Anyone else think it is weird how Nick just had a "sudden change of heart", in about 1 day?

Hey everyone. Long time reader, first time poster! I am ready to see what really brought on the big fight, as well as how it happened. The weird thing is, the whole scenario could be changed if there was something said before Nick went off on Sonia, such as: How do you want me to open up? Do you want me to say.....*insert mean quote here*. It could be blown out of proportion just as much as the kid convo between the love birds. The edit made that seem like life and death, but it was really not much of an argument when they finally showed it. Also, while on the topic of "irony" isn't it weird he rated his marriage and 8, which is the same number in his clothing line? I know it is a reach, but I love a good conspiracy theory.