SwordQueen
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Posts posted by SwordQueen
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Putting aside the fact that I pretty much loathe everyone on this show, and myself for ever watching this show, I'm not sure if I'll be able to see next season, even if I want to, since I don't have cable anymore.
It seems that Bravo makes you log in to your cable provider before allowing users to view full episodes, so I might be out of luck.
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I think that Monty is just as drug addicted and delusional as Kim is.
Agree. I'm thinking that he's always been her biggest "fan" and enabler -- high, sober, or sick. He's really not doing her any favors, either, by continuing to make excuses for her behavior, pandering to her ego, and sweeping her issues under the rug.
Has anyone heard of the Hulu series "Hotwives of ___"? I just started watching it and it's hilarious. It's a Ho'wife parody show and their first season includes two BH-like characters; A British, Lisa-esque character, and a "Former child star, current ditzy addict" character, based on Kim. "Showbiz is in my blood -- as is heroin."
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I don't think the pain of detox is Kim's problem. I think Kim LIKES being high and drunk.
You bring up an important distinction, as it seems like Kim is still experiencing more pleasure from being drunk and high than misery. Some addicts hate being addicted to drugs and realize that it's a problem that they can't get a handle on (because of the dependency factor or from low self-esteem and negative re-enforcement behaviors), no matter how much they want/try to. Other addicts revel in their addiction and feel that the high is worth the cost to every other aspect of their lives, so they run from any attempt at sobriety. I have no idea what it would take for Kim to 'switch' mindsets and willingly work on herself, if anything could at all, at this point. Mental deterioration/illness is a real possibility and can hinder her ability for personal insight. It's all such a cluster.
ETA: Brandi is such an half-wit.
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Exactly. I didn't say anything about different results. It's about finding balance in a space where she's safe and can't do additional harm to herself or others at this point.
Kim is off balance and has self-medicated for so very long, it makes no sense to expect her to have an epiphany of any type. If, as speculated, she's mentally unwell, too, I think it's absolutely on the family to set up a safe environment for her to live. She's been enabled for most, if not all, of her life (that includes propping her up like she's a fully functional person), so to me it's a familial obligation to do what's best for her. In doing so, it would also allow them to focus on their own lives rather than everything always being Kimcentric.
Regardless, it's not my circus and those aren't my monkeys, and for that I'm thankful.
I kinda disagree that Kim is her family's responsibility. Unless Kim has been diagnosed and deemed mentally incompetent, by qualified medical professionals, she's responsible for herself, still. The only true "safe" environment would be 24/7 hospitalization with hourly check-ins and 24/7 room video monitoring. And even then, there's no guarantee she can't harm herself or others. When I was in a mental health facility, another patient managed to stab a staff member in front of everyone, so, yeah, no grantee of a completely safe environment. Many treatment centers are also not safe, if one doesn't want to work towards recovery. I don't know a ton about drug rehab, but in ED rehab, one can learn many new tricks from the other patients and continue old habits in secret to continue to harm oneself with.
I hate to sound like a downer, but this is free will, in action. Even if her family straight up buys her a house, a car, pays all of her bills, hires security, a driver, a cook, a tailor, a shoemaker, and a ladyistter, they can't stop her from killing herself with drugs and alcohol or via any other method. If Kim (or anyone) does not want to be sober, there's not one single thing a person or facility can do, baring strapping her down and drugging her into oblivion.
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I look at Kim's Target headshot and see Johnny Depp as Hunter S. Thompson in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," minus the cigarette...it should be an electronic one...
I can see it. And we all know how things turned out for HST. : (
This is a frightening game of chess being played because addiction/self-medication is only one aspect. At this point, I can't help but think how freeing it would be for everyone if they just spilled the truth about what's going on with Kim as maintaining secrecy while constantly worrying/cleaning up behind the scenes has to be exhausting. Just buy her a tiny house, have groceries delivered every two weeks, and hire a security guy to keep watch from a slight distance. They can still remain no/low contact while she does whatever she does without constantly having her on their brains.
I don't know. I don't see how doing any of this would create different results than before, when she was free to do whatever she wanted while everyone else paid her bills. Her problems aren't external, but internal, so no pretty paid off cottage or Peapod delivery or hired muscle is going to make a difference until/unless she decides that she doesn't want to live like that anymore and puts actual effort into changing her life.
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Her getup reminds me a bit of when she and Brandi got all dressed up to to stalk JR in the bushes. Minus one wacky wig, of course.
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I don't feel that anything anyone has said is worthy of "a handbasket to hell" and I hope that everyone who has lost someone to a painful illness makes sure to be kind to themselves when thinking back on it. It's so difficult, not to mention exhausting, to witness ongoing suffering, that relief seems like part of the natural reaction to me -- even relief for oneself.
I actually think that's the crux of the problem in treating illnesses such as addiction, as well as certain other mental illnesses. Everyone wants to find relief from the suffering and everyone might be going at it in different, conflicting ways. The sufferer wants relief from whatever pain they are in, through drugs or activities which numbs or heightens their mood. They want relief from their thoughts and what they think others are thinking about them. The loved ones wants to find relief for both the sufferer and themselves by either denying the entire problem or trying to cure it through medication, money, religion, tough love, enabling or whatever else. In the end, everyone just wants relief, imo.
There is also a lot of complexity with these kind of illnesses. Not everyone who goes down this road or refuses help is doing so because they want to die or even think that they are going to die from it. Self-harming behaviors are often considered, by the suffer, to be a form of self-preservation because they feel that it's the only way they know how to survive. Even if it eventually kills them, it's how they cope with living.
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That makes sense. There can be relief in death when someone is sick and suffering for a long time, no matter what the ailment is.
I still hope Kim can turn it around but it's all up to her. She may not even be capable of change anymore and that's sad because, what then? It can be so hard to tell where sanity/lucidity ends and psychosis begins and what is a willful choice based on mental clarity and what is a reaction to things perceived by an ill mind, since we all act on our own perception of ourselves and the world.
I hate that Kyle is still being blamed for Kim's state, as if Kyle - or anyone - is capable of fixing another person. It just doesn't work like that. If other people could truly change another by love/sheer will, there'd be far fewer people suffering from illnesses. These issues aren't easily cured by wishing it so or throwing money around and support can only go so far before it begins to impair the life of the loved one. I've been in both positions and neither is as cut and dried as all that.
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Hugs MissMel, I'm so sorry.
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See I always thought of Brandi as the leaky boob.
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Yeah, "D List" celebrity is being generous at this point, imo. I think most people who hear about her will throw some pity her way, because many are aware of the suckage that is addiction, but there won't be any mass social media outrage or some media frenzy complete with protesting fans outside the courthouse. I'm sure the Sheriff's Department is used to dealing with hostile, entitled, BSC junkies, in general, so she'll fit right in.
She isn't even at the first step of getting help, I don't think she actually believes she has any problems, other than being a victim of everyone else.
Got 99 problems* but I ain't one.
*Bad Sister stole my Goddamn House, etc., etc.
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I don't doubt that Kim would sometimes have alcohol in a coffee container of some kind, but when Kim admitted to that one "trick" and Kyle agreed and made it seem like Kim is/was this slick and crafty bitch when it comes to hiding her addictions it just seemed so disingenuous to me at the time. I get that Kyle was covering, but with Kim it seems like she's so used to people accepting her excuses that it's like she really does think that she's successfully getting away with shit as opposed to people simply being too exhausted from her lies and bullshit to challenge her anymore.
I agree. It's very common for people who are on drugs or under some form of mental delusion to think that they are playing it cool and fooling everyone with their lies and sleight of hand tricks when trying to divert attention or cover their tracks. They don't/can't realize that it's often very obvious to everyone else what's up, especially, imo, because they often "over-correct" themselves and come across as exaggerated and over-the-top (e.g When drunk people will start yelling or whispering during normal conversation because they can't control voice modulation or when someone who is delusional makes up unrealistic explanations or their story keeps changing as they are telling it).
And this is what always pinged my bullshit meter when she'd grandstand about how sober she was and how she was working on herself. You learn, when you're in recovery/therapy, that your perception of reality, especially of yourself, isn't very reliable when you're drunk or high or in a state of psychosis or whatever. So, it's important, like when Kim "slipped" and took a 100% pain pill, to ask for and accept feedback on behavior in order to further understand and correct oneself, moving forward. She didn't do any of that. She didn't want to hear it. Same with Brandi, really -- she never wanted to hear from others and take into consideration, their experiences of her while she was drunk/high, because that would contradict the story she was telling herself in her head.
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I just remembered the blind item posted a few pages back and that makes me think, if true, then it’s possible that shoplifting is just another way she maintains her "high" and she’s been doing it most of her life. Only this time, her behavior and notoriety have caught up with her and she can’t talk/buy her way out of it.
We’ve previously discussed Kim not being picky about the drugs she uses and I think she’s just a plain adrenaline junkie. Besides the booze and pills, it seem like doing things like shoplifting, stalking people in bushes with disguises on, race car driving, binge shopping, partying, gambling (poker), and probably any number of other risky behaviors give her a rush that she becomes addicted to. Some people have addictive personalities where they seek a high from just about anything and everything.
I think we all want her to “get it” and deal with herself and her issues, but the sad thing is that for many addicts, there is no bottom for which they hit and then realize they want/need to change. Some live their whole lives this way, and at depths which most cannot fathom being able to sustain. There’s absolutely nothing anyone can do as long as that person wants to stay down. If she’s too far gone mentally, then her family might be able to get her held temporarily until professionals can determine if she needs long term care, but that’s easier said than done. And even then, as I said in a previous post, that doesn’t mean she’s ever going to be consciously accepting of her situation or willing to change herself. We're only privy to a tiny fraction of her behavior and mindset, so she might not even be capable of that, who knows.
It’s such a sad situation and so frustrating for everyone who can only watch but who are helpless to “fix” it for her. I’m relieved to hear that Kyle, for whatever reasons, is apparently taking a step back. I can only imagine how painful that has been, but for her and her family’s sake, I’m glad she’s doing it.
This whole thing reminds me of a passage from one of my favorite and personally inspiring books, “Konx Om Pax”:
"So to get the noise out of my head, I took the little whip and whipped myself till all my blood poured down over everything, and I saw the whole house like a cataract of foaming blood rushing headlong from the flaming and scintillating Star of Fire that blazed and blazed in the candescent dome, and everything went red before my eyes, and a great flame like a strong wind blew through the House with a noise louder than any thunder could possibly be, so that I couldn't hold myself hardly, and I took up the sharp knives of the machines and cut myself all over, and the noise got louder and louder, and the flame burnt through and through me, so that I was very glad when my Prince said: You wouldn't think it, would you, sweetheart? But there are lots of people who stay here all their lives."
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I was going to reply to this by saying my guess is that the toys or stuffed animals were probably just covering up more expensive or incriminating stuff underneath, and then there's AnnA's illustration:
Agree. Maybe I am giving Kim too much credit for being capable of forethought but this is what I am thinking as well. A cart or multiple carts of toys with other items mixed in might not catch as much attention and possibly suspicion as carts full of electronics, jewelry, and booze or whatever, without the toys. Of course, as others have pointed out, there's money in reselling kids items like toys and clothes. Also, there's a high in stealing like that, so perhaps it was more about the feeling she gets from the experience. I don't know, man, the women is like an onion -- we just keep peeling back stinky layer upon stinky layer. There's no core.
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Brandi quit? For real? Don't toy with me, guys.
Excuse me while I twirl my Snidely Whiplash mustache and grin like an idiot over here, because, tee hee hee.
Brandi gone, and Kim is also out? But ... Taylor's back? I, I don't know how to feel!
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I really thought the comment about Kim stealing bottles of vodka from Target must be a joke but apparently they do sell liquor and wine there?! I wouldn't know anything about this because I live in Pennsylvania and our politicians still think it's Prohibition. Liquor in grocery stores? Lies!
Maryland is the same. The only thing I miss about living in VA is being able to buy alcohol from a regular grocery store.
Fortunately for me though, I live about a mile from about three liquor stores and a few bars, so I'm covered in case of an emergency.
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I haven't been following anything since the show ended but from what I've read so far, it seems like after the last arrest she went into rehab (For a month?) and missed Brooke's second wedding (to the same man), left rehab early, Marty moved out....and what happened to the house she was renting? What about Kingsley -- where is he?
I don't know what's left for Kim at this point. A judge ordered rehab? I don't think someone could leave a legally mandated rehab stint without resulting in some jail time. I mean jail is rarely good for anyone, I guess unless that becomes their "bottom" and they finally learn something from the experience. It's supposed to be punishment for criminal behavior, not some plush, cushy rehab or paying reality show where she gets to stomp her feet, throw her "star status" around, fling her finger in people's faces and threaten to talk about their husbands or walk out when she's had enough -- which would be a change for her.
But really, nothing is going to help until she changes her attitude. She can be forced into sobriety and forced into a therapeutic setting, but it will all be against her will and so she will gain nothing from the experience. I feel like it no longer matters what would give her more ammunition for excuses or blame (You stole my Goddamn house, You talked about my business). That's one of the things her loved ones have to give up on -- watching and adjusting their own behavior in order to avoid having Kim become angry with them. If Kim chooses to become angry and bitter over the consequences to her own actions, then so be it. Just another life choice that Kim has to own up to and everyone else has to stop walking on eggshells to try and prevent.
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Someone needs to court order Kim into rehab, order periodic drug testing for when she completes rehab, and a breathalyzer to start her car. She's not capable of staying sober on her own and her family is not capable of holding her accountable.
My coworker and I were joking that the toys were for all of the Mexican kids she met after the wedding when she was on her own.
Agree. The law really needs to step in at this point, imo. It's supposed to be neutral, unlike families, who often feel too much pressure and guilt to administer consequences.
Unfortunately though, in-car breathalyzers don't really do anything to prevent drunks from being able to drive. When I worked for a towing company many years ago, I was shocked by the number of cars we'd tow in from police calls that already had breathalyzers installed in them -- and the car owners were pulled over for drunk driving for the 2nd, 5th, 10th, 15th time.
I get why people want Kim to take accountability but at this point (IMO) it doesn't matter if she is sorry for her actions or doesn't give a fuck. She's essentially a very well-heeled dead woman walking. No 50-something who is happy and/or in her right mind shoplifts or assaults police officers. If hitting rock bottom is necessary for her to recover, fine. I feel it's a shame/punishment-based philosophy, but maybe it works. It just seems from an outside perspective that traditional rehab doesn't work for Kim. I sort of feel like telling her to embrace the steps is like telling a schizophrenic person to stop hearing voices. She's so far gone. I think an Amanda Bynes/Britney Spears-style long term involuntary commitment might be her best shot.
Another possibility for why this happened -- this is neither defense nor condemnation, and IMO she probably WAS drunk -- is that people recovering from addiction are more prone to poor impulse control because their brains are still trying to compensate for the lack of a chemical high. Compulsive exercise, shoplifting, becoming fanatical about a religion or cause are all relatively common. Self-sabotage is also extremely common. Oops, I fucked up, I'm ashamed, I'll never be ok, I might as well drink.
I wonder if her tune will change when faced with being charged for the shoplifting and assault with regards to her sobriety. When it comes to voluntarily going to rehab and committing to a program, she's "100% sober" and loving her life and doesn't need help, thankyouverymuch. It would interesting to see if she doesn't just throw herself on the mercy of the court and use being a troubled off-the-wagon addict in order to receive leniency.
Too sober to go to rehab, too happy with life to go to therapy, yet too troubled and victimized to go to jail. Poor poodle, indeed.
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Right. Then that's where the ultimatum part comes into play. It's not about accommodating Kim - in-state, Malibu, luxe, 30 days (flexible!), etc... We see where that got her. Tough love is about Kim meeting their demands, not the other way around, and if she doesn't - they need to cut off contact and maintain their bottom lines. It's not all about Kim. They deserve a life, too. One free of this constant stress and worry and bullshit.
I don't see her willingly doing anything, at this point, and I feel like she needs to see some jail time. Rehab doesn't mean anything to her and unless she qualifies for involuntary committal, she has the right to not seek medical help. Her family could try the "If you don't do this, then this will happen." routine, but I suspect it's old hat at this point and beyond pointless to keep re-engaging her with it. They might have to cut go ahead and cut her off, without the ultimatums and without giving any reasons, and let her sort it all out and decide what her life will be about.
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Just heard about Kim being in jail and I knew I needed to get my butt back in here to see you lovely people!
I thought the news must have been about that last arrest after the reunion show, but no.
Damn, she's really taking the cannon ball approach to hitting bottom, isn't she, and splashing her loved ones in the face, on the way down.
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Big ole hug, becauseIsaidso.
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I'll be back next season - if that counts for anything ... :~)
LOL! Okay, if you are here for Season 6, I will be as well. If things get to be too Goddamn much we'll hang out in the cabana and watch cute animal vids.
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So for all of the talk from people this season about how the other women have nothing going on in their lives except to talk about Kim and Brandi I think this episode proved what many of us had been saying all along.
Yes and I hope those IIC are reading and listening to what many of us are saying about what we want to see on the show.
Thank you guys for making this season bearable and really, at all watchable.
Your humor has entertained and your amazing stories of struggle, survival and triumph have been inspiring.
I guess I will have to see who is coming back before I commit to watching next season.
This final episode was so fun that I think I'm done with the complete fuckery that is Rum Raisin and Ratchet Barbie.
Deuces, my Beasts! <3
You 100% stole my Goddamn Heart!
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What a mess. But, did anyone really think this was going to any other way?
Nope! It's going exactly the way it's gone every other time. And The pills and pot don't surprise me, neither does the info that she's not in a program and has removed all sober influence in her life.
If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always got.
Rehab is not for those who need it, it's for those who want it. The reason in-patient rehab has not worked for Kim is because she has not worked the program, or even wanted to live a sober life. Kim has gone into rehab because of others not because she hit rock bottom. The only time one gets clean is when they are allowed to him their own personal rock bottom. Broke and family not returning phone calls may just be what Kim needs.
Yup. They can't force her to act in any specific way (like going to rehab and getting sober) but they can take away some of her options (like being able to call on them to fix her messes and pay for her expenses, and most importantly, her option to mentally, emotionally and spiritually drain them).
Kim, your life has become unmanageable. Hell, your life stresses me out!
This is why I'm out. I've no interest in seeing her act like this anymore and thankfully it seems that some of her family members might be getting to this point, too, of cutting her out. However, she'll always have people telling her what a victim she is, making excuses for her about how everyone else is to blame, so unless she gets real with herself, nothing will change. Well, except when she ends up killing herself, I guess.
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Kim Richards: No Escape from Witch Mountain
in The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills
· Edited by SwordQueen
He really needs to stop drunk posting.
It's like he keeps doing the post-internet era "walk of shame" where he goes back online the next morning and realizes that everyone can see how foolish he got the night before. And then he tries to delete all of the evidence.