Season 3 Discussion

[starri]

On 3/18/2019 at 9:02 PM, PRgal said:

Was the shower (technically speaking, should it even have been called a shower?  This is a second child for one of them.  Some people would call it a sprinkle) legitimately one week before she delivered?  Who does that?  I get that she had a scheduled induction (or C-section) possibly before the 40th week, but shouldn’t showers be...earlier?  Like at 30-32 weeks?  Anything after 35 weeks is a little...close.  But that’s just me.

I found the entire exercise incredibly tacky, and I spent the segment wondering if it had been organized specifically been posted to Instagram.

[BonnieD]

Made it through the last one with the messy couple and baby on the way. Really strange. I could understand if she was employed and pregnant and counting on unemployed boyfriend to step up and make their living space habitable, but that was beyond what anyone would put up with unless she was equally to blame for it. Does she still have a place of her own? Do she and her daughter only stay with him part of the time? I really wanted to know more about how this disaster of a house came to be. I mean, clearly, she wasn't on top of what needed to be done to prepare for her new baby either. Why no baby clothes or paraphernalia left over from big sis? Why the need for the hugest shower in the history of baby showers? The whole thing was just weird and inexplicable to me.

Also, I agree Thomas shows enough signs of emotional disconnect and social awkwardness to be on the spectrum. just very high end functioning.

[raven]

8 minutes ago, BonnieD said:

Also, I agree Thomas shows enough signs of emotional disconnect and social awkwardness to be on the spectrum. just very high end functioning.

I don't agree.  Hi sister said he was very outgoing and fun until their mother died and then he withdrew.  I think it was probably difficult for him, being raised by his sister and dealing with his mother's death.    I think he got stuck in his daily routine and couldn't figure out how to get out of it.    If he was really opposed to making a change in his life, he wouldn't have agreed to be on the show. 

[howiveaddict]

My favorite episode was the widowed dad. It was heartbreaking to see those young boys without a mother.  I lost it when they showed the book she recorded her voice reading. And  the birthday cards she pre wrote.  I can understand him tearing up the end of chemo sign.  I am an oncology nurse and see many patients celebrating the end of treatment , only to find out months later that the cancer has returned.  I guess I was a mess the whole episode.

[hula-la]

On 3/18/2019 at 6:02 PM, PRgal said:

Was the shower (technically speaking, should it even have been called a shower?  This is a second child for one of them.  Some people would call it a sprinkle) legitimately one week before she delivered?  Who does that?  I get that she had a scheduled induction (or C-section) possibly before the 40th week, but shouldn’t showers be...earlier?  Like at 30-32 weeks?  Anything after 35 weeks is a little...close.  But that’s just me.

I did go to a shower that was cut short, as the mom to be went into labour. She was in labour during the event, but it got serious and she left to go to the hospital. We stayed and cleaned up. She delivered that night. Can’t remember how far along she was, though. 

[ExMathMajor]

I'm still loving this reboot...I think all 5 guys are great (although I still don't quite "get" Antoni) and I'm fine with them "branching out" from straight guys.

1. I want a man who looks at me the way Hunter Woman's husband looked at her. 😍 Tied to that, I loved that Jonathan paid attention and didn't cut her hair short. I'm not against short hair on women at all (see below) but typical TV hair makeovers involve heavy use of scissors (if the hair is long) or heat (if the hair is anything other than straight). As someone who's also feminine but not frilly, I liked how Tan and Bobby designed her clothing and home.

2. I've known some real "Lost Boys" whose refusal to grow up resulted in them damaging those around them. I didn't get that sense with Camp Dude. At least he's conscious of being a father and needing to step up for his son. Also, I thought he (and that cabin) cleaned up nice!

3. Love love LOVED the Jones sisters. They are truly inspirations. And yeah, as soon as my budget allows I'm going to pick up some of that BBQ sauce online.

4. This episode didn't make as much of an impact on me for some reason...maybe because I was still wiping away tears from the third episode, lol. The kids were cute, though.

5. I want to adopt Not-Quite-Lumberjack-Lesbian. I would teach her how to cook and help her keep that 'fro tight (because relaxers are bullshit; yeah, I said it). Actually I want to adopt everybody at that potluck. Did Bobby make over her roommates' rooms or just hers? I also wonder about how they (the producers) go about getting permission from landlords. I'm assuming they're renting but I probably shouldn't; I'm curious, though.

6. Another episode that had me crying. I would definitely go see Bass Playing Dad and his sons perform!

7. I can't even imagine what losing your mom at age 11 must have done to Video Dude (and his sister; did they say how much older she was than him?). I adore Karamo but I really really hope that he left him with a referral to a local therapist. Also, he too cleaned up real nice! I could completely relate to him "finding his tribe." And I loved what Bobby did to their home and backyard! I want those kanji-inspired prints.

8. I sure hope Kairi and Rowan's Dad (I remember the kids' names because I liked them so much) can keep up now that the baby is here. Because if he wasn't able to do it before a baby...actually if they were ever to do a "Where Are They Now?" segment I'd want to see this family first. You know that saying about children making adults? Hopefully he gets there.

[PRgal]

8 hours ago, hula-la said:

I did go to a shower that was cut short, as the mom to be went into labour. She was in labour during the event, but it got serious and she left to go to the hospital. We stayed and cleaned up. She delivered that night. Can’t remember how far along she was, though. 

I thought that only happened in movies and on TV!  I would never throw someone a shower after the 32nd week.  Yes, some babies are premature (mine was, but he was 35 weeks) but most aren't.   

[Athena]

15 hours ago, raven said:

Hi sister said he was very outgoing and fun until their mother died and then he withdrew.  I think it was probably difficult for him, being raised by his sister and dealing with his mother's death.   

I think it was very telling that he mentioned his father also withdrew. Thomas basically emulated his Dad during a critical and traumatic time for both of them.

As an introvert, I do sometimes find the meeting a bunch of strangers thing a bit cringey to watch on TV, but I don't think it's bad for the heroes. I actually think for Thomas it was good to push him slightly out of his boundaries. If he doesn't find it's for him, he doesn't have to go to the anime club or go to the bars, but it's a good reminder once in awhile (or a couple times a year) to try meet new people or engage socially. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

On 3/20/2019 at 8:03 PM, Gabby929 said:

Oh, I did not like the one from the first episode this season, where the hunter woman had to sit in the middle of the circle and listen to all those women talk about being a woman. It was so awkward and odd. Like, what was the set-up to get them all there? It seemed so random.

For me it was awkward too, but honestly, it was because "hunter woman" was so socially nervous and kept interrupting everyone.  She would laugh (nervously, but still) through what EVERYONE said and then interrupt them.  It's very obviously nervous speaking patterns but if I was Karamo there'd be no way I'd be able to prevent myself from saying "Please don't interrupt."

Also, for Karamo to be the Culture person, he shouldn't be using "literally" incorrectly.  It drives me up the ****ing wall.  Johnathan uses the word a lot too but shockingly, he seemed to use it correctly every time.  

[Ms Blue Jay]

On 3/23/2019 at 7:53 PM, Hellohappylife said:

Billions of women are pregnant everyday and still manage to keep their homes clean, pregnant is no excuse for letting your dishes get out of control to the point where they are covered in old hard dry moldy food. Or allowing your trash to over flow. Those are simple tasks to do. Heck you could even have the 7 year old take out the trash and load the dish washer. 

Ha!  You made me think of a good friend of mine who was pregnant and cleaning the house like a madwoman.  She admittedly became a huge hygiene freak and probably spent that 9 months cleaning!

[bijoux]

9 hours ago, ExMathMajor said:

7. I can't even imagine what losing your mom at age 11 must have done to Video Dude (and his sister; did they say how much older she was than him?). I adore Karamo but I really really hope that he left him with a referral to a local therapist. Also, he too cleaned up real nice! I could completely relate to him "finding his tribe." And I loved what Bobby did to their home and backyard! I want those kanji-inspired prints.

They never said what the age difference was, but I imagines 5-10 years since she mentioned most of her friends were closer to his age than hers. Co-sign on hoping there was a therapist referal.

[Pepper Mostly]

On 3/23/2019 at 9:50 PM, 2727 said:

I did not cosign Messy Couple ceding the master bedroom to a child, either. 

That seemed odd. Odder still, they  reclaimed the room for the parents, but did they ever tell us where the child was going to sleep? Right or wrong, they gave her the room. It'd be pretty shitty if the kid just came home from school and found all her stuff out in the yard, with a shrug from her parents--"oh well". I would have liked to see some effort made to lessen the sting a bit. Did they stick her in the basement without so much as a new comforter? I felt bad for the kid.

I loved "not quite a lumberjack lesbian" too, and would also adopt her. She was so sweet and courageous.

"Lost Boy" dad was also a fave. He and his son seemed to have a great relationship. I wonder what he does during the year, when there's no camp? Teacher? Temp?

[retrograde]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

That seemed odd. Odder still, they  reclaimed the room for the parents, but did they ever tell us where the child was going to sleep? Right or wrong, they gave her the room. It'd be pretty shitty if the kid just came home from school and found all her stuff out in the yard, with a shrug from her parents--"oh well". I would have liked to see some effort made to lessen the sting a bit. Did they stick her in the basement without so much as a new comforter? I felt bad for the kid.

Agreed. I was expecting a room makeover for the girl so she'd be excited about sleeping elsewhere, but then... nothing. I hope that was just cut for time, otherwise they set the parents up for an almighty bedtime meltdown. 

RE: The "shower," I think the show kinda makes the participants concoct some kind of "event" to be working towards at the end of each episode. So it's possible it was all the producers' idea, or at the very least the size, venue and/or timing weren't the family's doing. I mean, if they wanted to throw a big party, that actually sounds fine to me, but I'd be hesitant to pin any of it on the family given it's a reality TV show.  

[roseslg]

Have only gotten to lumberjack episode, and that really got me, I never tear up, and it was super dusty in my house.   Identity and family is such a thing to struggle with at a young age.  It seems like she and Bobby really connected and it was touching to see.  

[BusyOctober]

I hope that the child welfare authority will be keeping an eye on the Pig Couple's little girl and new baby!  How no one eating from that petri dish of a kitchen didn't get poisoned is beyond me.  I had to FF through most of the guys "discovering" what was under the layers of filth and mold.  Even just typing about it is working my gag reflex hard. 🤢  Depression is very serious and I'm glad the Pig Man knew he had issues to deal with.  Hope he gets real help to manage his depression in addition to a nice fresh makeover.  I would guess Pig Woman has issues dealing with reality, or hoarding, b/c why else why would you allow your child and yourself to be surrounded by that toxic (literally) mess?  And to decide to bring a baby into the situation??  I don't get it.

Overall a great season 3.  Loved the BBQ ladies, the widowed  single dad and the lesbian the best.  Those were the 3 episodes that made me full on CRY vs. wipe a tear from my eye.

[NicoleMN6]

Jody (hunter turned huntee) could be played by Connie Britton in the movie!

I was hoping Antoni would show her how to cook some gourmet meals with her squirrel meat and garden veggies, but I guess the point was more to make her feel comfortable eating that kind of food for when they go out? (And maybe it would inspire her to try to recreate something like that... if they have any time with their work schedules and the farm life!)

ETA: Just watched the Jones Sisters and cried like a baby at the dentist appointment. So wonderful. (And so awful that this type of help is often unaffordable!)

Edited April 12, 2019 by NicoleMN6

[Bad Example]

On 3/18/2019 at 1:17 AM, Renee in CA said:

 I hope that the new outdoor seating hasnt gotten stolen, since they mentioned that their sign had been previously stolen.

I loved the episode, but that was my big concern!  If someone stole their sign... those umbrellas are going to have to get locked up somewhere every night, I wish they hadn't done the camera close-up on the fancy register.  

Mostly I'm just pissed that anyone messed with those lovely ladies in the first place.

[angora]

I finally got into this series and just caught up with all three seasons.  Watching that much in short order, you definitely see the formulaic elements (here's the corny little one-liner about their "mission" for the episode, here's the part where Antoni sniffs something gross, here's the hero at their big "event," etc.), but I don't care.  It's been such a delightful dose of positivity, care, and compassion  - it's clear that the Fab Five REALLY care about the heroes (who in turn come to care about them,) and I love the emphasis on external change (house/wardrobe/etc.) as a way of accessing or reflecting internal change (confidence/responsibility/etc.)

I like how the show has branched out a little, having some heroes who aren't straight guys and doing little different things with the format (like some heroes wanting their workplace/church community center redone rather than their home.)  If I start listing favorites, I'll probably be listing half the episodes, but starting from the very beginning with Tom, there have been so many great ones.

To me, each member of the Fab Five is so great, and they make such a fun unit together.  Jonathan is my favorite - I love that he's so unapologetically himself, I like watching him get in the zone whenever he's cutting people's hair, and it's obvious that he's just overflowing with affection that he expresses in hugs and skincare tips - but I love all of them.  The work Bobby does every episode is just incredible, and I love how body positive Tan is in dressing the heroes, even if he likes prints and French tucks more than I do.  While I sometimes feel Karamo can be a little artificial in trying to "make a moment," he's a lot better integrated into the show than Jai was in the original (even though I loved Jai!), and I really like how Antoni meets people where they are in terms of kitchen skills - a lot of his dishes are simple, but if the goal if to show people that they don't have to be scared of cooking, it makes sense to just help them get their feet a little wet.

One more thing:  of course, all the guys spend much of each episode building the heroes up, but especially with Tan and Jonathan, I appreciate the time they continually take to point out the heroes' attractive physical qualities BEFORE the makeover really gets going.  I'm sure most of these guys don't think of themselves as attractive and probably aren't used to hearing it, but as soon as Jonathan and Tan meet them, it's, "You have such a cute smile."  "I love your shoulders."  "You have great legs."  "Your eyes are gorgeous."  I find that so lovely and warm.

[aradia22]

S3E1 I like that they found another way to talk about gender performance with a female client. 

I love that Karamo stepped back and got other women to talk to Jody.

Jonathan really is the perfect sort of stereotypical gay best friend hairdresser. I can imagine he had a lot of regular clients as a hairdresser and got great tips.

She looked great. A little Christie Brinkley. A little Kelli O'Hara.

Bruley is so cute. I'm glad they explained why there is suddenly a dog on the show.

[aradia22]

S3E2 I don't think he always (though mostly he does) nails it but I do appreciate how much Tan genuinely takes someone's personal style and lifestyle into consideration. Compared to other fashion makeover shows, there's a huge difference. He's not just forcing the same kind of basic mall or corporate/business casual clothes on everyone *cough What Not to Wear cough*

Once again, Bobby did a fantastic job with the decor. I love the upscale Arizona rustic vibes with the pops of red orange.

JVN has a really pleasant singing voice.

Antoni is really stepping up the cooking in season 3. I might actually check out his cookbook.

[aradia22]

S3E3 That cut from one of the sisters talking about her trash bag purse to Tan sipping his drink... XD Perfection.

I can't with Bruley in the episodes. Because then I have to keep rewinding. SO CUTE! Puppy time needs to be its own thing where I'm swiping through Instagram. Otherwise it's too distracting.

Again, I love the way Tan styles people. He's sensitive to body type and what people are insecure about. It's not all wide belts and forcing bodies to get as close as possible to conforming to ideal beauty standards. Everyone looks better but they look comfortable. I will say I would sew up that seam in the white shirt he put on Shorty or opt for a different blouse. It's just asking for trouble to put a woman with a larger chest in a button up.

Jonathan did a FABULOUS job on the hair. Clearly they put on a little makeup too but still, that was a huge transformation moment.

I also feel like all the guys are just so genuinely supportive. It doesn't feel like Tan or Jonathan are gritting their teeth or secretly disgusted by having to deal with larger bodies or people who aren't conventionally attractive even though all of the Fab 5 are super conventionally attractive and fit. And it truly does feel that way on a lot of other makeover shows. You can see it in their eyes and their faces. I don't get that on this reboot of Queer Eye.

I actually think Karamo is a very valuable member of the team. And everyone can use some version of therapy or life coaching. But yeah, there are definitely some episodes where he doesn't have as much to do because there aren't really deep seated issues or it would just be impossible for him to do that kind of work in a couple of days in between all the other guys doing their things.

Bobby did a great job with the exterior and the seating area. The inside wasn't as impressive but I guess there's only so much you can do with a small kitchen. The floor still looked kind of dirty/dingy but I'm not sure if they were somehow hampered in that. Also, obviously it's a functional restaurant kitchen and not someone's home kitchen so they can't just bring in too many new appliances.

Wait, how is it still a secret recipe? Don't you have to put an ingredients list on the bottle if you're selling it?

I don't really mind that there's an aspect of self-promo as long as it doesn't get out of hand. Like, I get that Jones BBQ gets attention and mayor Ted gets attention. The show can be a platform for the people it features as much as its a platform for the issues it wants to discuss. 

[aradia22]

S3E4 This was great. I do love a real fixer upper where it's like a hoarder-y trainwreck.

It is so wholesome and sweet how much the guys are hanging out with the kids this episode. That's so important as a subtler part of the mission statement of the show when there are still those harmful ideas (predatory, degenerate, etc.) about the LGBT community out there. 

It was nice to have a guy who is a big talker after some quieter clients. Also, I think it's good to show that whether you come across as introverted or extroverted, that can still be a manifestation of insecurity and fear.

I loved Antoni just hanging out in the kitchen by himself eating mashed potatoes.

Oh, I hated the green shacket Tan put him in. With his hair and facial hair it was way too Duck Dynasty.

I like that they're smart about who they bring to the gym. It's a personal decision. Not everyone needs to lose weight. But I feel like they mainly focus on guys who have let themselves go and feel bad about it. Like the body insecurity is stopping them from doing other things in their lives.

Obviously Antoni always looks good but those clips of him in the gym... Yes, muscle definition.

I really liked Robert. He's like the best version of someone who has been in the army and gone abroad and been open to other cultures.

Karamo's mirror exercise was a bit of a Dove commercial but I do think this was one of the better exercises on the show. 

I'm neutral on Jonathan's styling this time. I think the long hair looked good. But I do think you want something more formal for a wedding. Both looks are definitely strong looks so it's not like he took personality away. 

Bobby did a nice job on the living room though I'm not sure about the child safety of the coffee tables and it is a little too fancy. But the kitchen dining area was great. I really do think I'm just not a big fan of dark walls or too many dark colors in furniture. If you're going to do it, I think there needs to be some balance like with the kitchen and bedroom. I am curious what happened to the daughter's bedroom since they redid the master bedroom. 

It was a very pretty wedding. Upscale contemporary fantasy (as in Game of Thrones) vibes.

[aradia22]

S3E5 I love hearing about Bobby's background. If/when he releases a book (it seems like they're all putting out books this year) I will totally read it.

Obviously they don't have time to get into everything on this show but there are definitely some underlying themes. Teen pregnancy and unplanned pregnancy/probably lack of birth control is definitely one of them.

Bru is such a compact chubby little chunk. I love him.

I love Karamo's dad/teacher energy this episode. And I think she's definitely one of the clients who really needs that dad energy given her situation with her adopted family. I mean what she was saying was pretty textbook for why the strong black woman myth is harmful. The sense that you're supposed to be this person who can take on everyone else's burdens and never ask for help or show pain or vulnerability. "Positive" stereotypes are still harmful when they deny people humanity and the diversity of lived experiences.

Being able to reconnect with her biological sister and bringing in the genealogy aspect was such a beautiful choice. Like, I know there's a lot of production involved with the show and it's not just all organic and natural but I don't mind when they're making smart choices.

I loved how Bobby redecorated. It was definitely polished and professional but not right out a magazine. I'm sure they have some kind of deal with some furnishing company which is why everything looks a little similar even if they aren't as obvious about product placement/sponsorship (e.g. Mood/Project Runway, Whole Foods/Top Chef) but I like seeing different spaces. I like that things felt young and modern without trying to be too hip. 

When she was doing her thank yous... Tears again. I know that this show needs to be for straights sometimes but god, these episodes where they can really connect with these sweet LGBT young people are just so good and wholesome. 

The potluck was whatever but it was so good to see her surrounded by friends and family at the end. 

[aradia22]

S3E6 Macadamia nuts are notably unhealthy. How are they better than breadcrumbs? And then pan-frying? *side eye*

I'm not sure how I feel about Bobby's decor. It's pretty. It is. But it's not very child proof house. It feels like a forever home though and I think that's good.

The inscription on the cabinet was adorable. This show really has the sweetest ways of putting love into objects like the oar that the son painted and the quilt made of all the dad's shirts. 

Given everything Rob has been going through, I'm surprised at how little Karamo we got in this episode. Maybe it was just off camera or maybe they made the decision not to delve into those issues too much because I imagine he's already had a long grieving period.

[aradia22]

S3E7 Oh good Lord with Karamo's metaphors. Just give the man time for actual therapy, please. I get that TV is a visual medium but it's okay to watch people sit and talk. 

[aradia22]

S3E8 I love the aqua. Great redesign.

Baby shower was a bit of a dull season finale. I assume production knew about the proposal. But still.... boring.

[Eeksquire]

Quote

I'm sure they have some kind of deal with some furnishing company which is why everything looks a little similar even if they aren't as obvious about product placement/sponsorship

I wish they would do MORE tie-ins, actually.  There have been a couple of episodes where I would love to know where to source a couch or something, but I can't find the information anywhere.