19 Things I Hate About You: How the Duggars Infuriate

[jumper sage]

I think parents now play with their kids, but just a generation ago (I'm 51) it wasn't like that. Not once did either of my parents get on the floor & play with us. That's what my siblings were for. We would go out & play & not come home till dark. I can't believe I'm defending the Duggars, because i don't believe in children RAISING their siblings, but as far as parents playing with kids, it's only the present generation that is so kid-centric.

I am 52 and my parents played with us all the time.  I have pictures of my grandparents playing with their kids back in the 20s and 30s.  I think it's a family thing.  How sad not to play with your kids.  That's the best part of parenting.  Now we all know things change in the teen years.  You can usually get your teen back by asking if they wanted to skip school and go skiing or to an amusement park.......

[wanderwoman]

I've never understood why the fundies are against dancing (or even equate it with sex). Admittedly I've only read the bible once, and that was when I was nine and stuck in a hotel with no other reading material, but I'm sure I remember there being a passage where someone was savaged by dogs, but her feet were spared by God because she'd danced with joy. So you'd think dancing would be considered a good thing.

Their official excuse is that dancing fires up desires that can't be righteously fulfilled and any sort of classical dance (ballet, jazz, tap) would require time away from the family unit and immodest dress. That's the same reason they give for extracurricular team sports, btw. The Gothard party line was that giving your child to a coach was akin to exposing them to other authority and beliefs. I say it has more to do with expenses and driving kids around, with purity being a convenient excuse.

[WTFFF]

 

Did they actually claim they didn't know who Dolly is? There is no way that is true. I don't believe that for a minute.

Michelle asked if she was on Hee-Haw.  It was the fakest thing I'd ever seen in my life.  Or, you know, fakest thing I'd seen from Michelle Duggar so far in that episode.  I believe that the kids wouldn't know who Dolly was - but Michelle grew up in a normal family, and Dolly's been famous for decades, as a singer and actress. 

 

 

I have nothing against WW, but what did Jana need it for and whose idea was it for her to go in the first place.

The official Gothard motto is basically "no fat chicks."  And I really don't think Michelle ever developed a healthy relationship with food and body image.  If she were a slightly less horrible person I really would feel sorry for her. 

 

Or maybe Jana just wanted to get the hell away from Jackson and Johannah for a little while.  I wouldn't blame her.

[truthtalk2014]

Michelle asked if she was on Hee-Haw.  It was the fakest thing I'd ever seen in my life.  Or, you know, fakest thing I'd seen from Michelle Duggar so far in that episode.  I believe that the kids wouldn't know who Dolly was - but Michelle grew up in a normal family, and Dolly's been famous for decades, as a singer and actress. 

 

 

MEchelle is such a bad liar.  You know they discuss with them in advance where they will be going to see if it is pure enough for the cult.  And you also know that just on the off chance that  MEchelle did not know who Dolly was (doubt it) she would jump on her computer with her cup of Starbucks coffee (while the Jslaves babysit) and find out.  Glad you didn't pursue a career as actress MEchelle.  You play a bad enough mother on TV.  

[zenme]

The official Gothard motto is basically "no fat chicks."

 

Oh, WTFFF! Haha! Now I've had my guffaw for the day!

 

If this is the Things About the Duggars That Get On Your Nerves forum, then I hate the beyond ridiculous gift registries they have.  These fools are the biggest bunch of moochers and cheapos I've yet to see on tv, and I watch Extreme Cheapskates.  Duggars, if you're reading this: You are a tacky group. Just when I think you've reached your limit, you never cease to amaze me.

[truthtalk2014]

Okay- how about the fake BS of the trainer showing up at your door???  My husband worked in the movie business for 15 years.  They do not and cannot afford to pay the camera and lighting crews to work 24/7 just in case a trainer happens to show up at your door.  There is a thing called overtime pay and it is not pretty- well it is for the crew.  

 

That crap is so staged it's not even funny!  Stop pretending Jim Bob and Smuggar.  They know the exact moment and they do a few takes and you indeed know they are coming.  Everyone does.  It is a planned event.  And since you know, why don't you get those tater tots and cream of chicken soup out of your pantry before they arrive?

 

AND another thing- why does the trainer not get on MEchelle's lazy ass?   Why is it only the men?  Oh wait, the wife might get excited by the trainer and this would be a disgrace to the Duggars!  Gotcha!

[TobyBelle]

I still can't wrap my head around the whole courtship and chaperone thing. What guy would want to put up with JB and Michelle dictating the rules? I'm thinking Derrick and Ben must really love those girls to stick it out and not run away screaming. I would tell my sons to run away screaming. I figured with courtship, the couples get engaged so fast because they want to get away from the parents and chaperones as soon as they can. I commented to my husband if we set up the chaperone rule, I could see our kids taking their younger sibs along and paying them $20 to scram and come back until it's time to go home and keep quiet about the whole thing.

[truthtalk2014]

 I commented to my husband if we set up the chaperone rule, I could see our kids taking their younger sibs along and paying them $20 to scram and come back until it's time to go home and keep quiet about the whole thing.

Maybe you've got something here.  Hey… maybe that's the $5 an hour Joy Anna was talking about.  Not to chaperone - but to shut the fuck up and let your sister make out.

[leighroda]

Just when I thought I had listed everything out on here that gets on my nerves... I came up with a new one.

I've noticed anytime they do one of their "daredevil" activities Jim Bob has to mention he can't die because he has 19 kids... Yes I agree the responsible thing would be to not leave your oldest daughters to raise your children, however, in this case I don't really see how it's different than every other day in Duggar-land. Also, the logic that he has 19 kids so his life if more valuable baffles me. I'm fairly certain (although I don't have children) that whether you have 2 kids or 20 it's tragic to lose a parent, so the constant reiteration of the fact that they have soooo many kids is just annoying. Especially since the scales are getting tipped to a majority of them being teenagers that can care for themselves.

Edited 1) tipped and ripped are not the same.

2) I thought of something funny: I really want to run into MEchelle in public and say "oh, do you have any kids?" Because she would be completely befuddled that someone is not aware that she "gave birth to every one"

Edited September 25, 2014 by leighroda

[truthtalk2014]

Just when I thought I had listed everything out on here that gets on my nerves... I came up with a new one.

I've noticed anytime they do one of their "daredevil" activities Jim Bob has to mention he can't die because he has 19 kids... Yes I agree the responsible thing would be to not leave your oldest daughters to raise your children, however, in this case I don't really see how it's different than every other day in Duggar-land. Also, the logic that he has 19 kids so his life if more valuable baffles me. I'm fairly certain (although I don't have children) that whether you have 2 kids or 20 it's tragic to lose a parent, so the constant reiteration of the fact that they have soooo many kids is just annoying. Especially since the scales are getting tipped to a majority of them being teenagers that can care for themselves.

 

You are so right!  I never even thought of it this way, but honestly, if Boob did die from falling from a cliff (and Derrick couldn't catch him), I actually think it would be much better for his family than for normal people with two or three young children.  The Duggar children all know how to take care of themselves.  They don't expect a parent to do it.  They have tons of sister moms!  So neat!

[mbutterfly]

For me it begs the question whether Gothardites have life insurance. 

[ghoulina]

Well, hopefully JB can completely train Bin in the art of being a slum lord before he keels over. That way he can make sure to keep everyone in cheap sandals, tator tots, and styrofoam vomit cups.

[NikSac]

I still can't wrap my head around the whole courtship and chaperone thing. What guy would want to put up with JB and Michelle dictating the rules? I'm thinking Derrick and Ben must really love those girls to stick it out and not run away screaming.

 

But here's what gets me wondering more... how could they love these girls when they barely know them?  What makes someone come out of nowhere to deal with this whole mess?

[fliptopbox]

But here's what gets me wondering more... how could they love these girls when they barely know them?  What makes someone come out of nowhere to deal with this whole mess?

That's what I want to know too. During their courtship process they're not allowed to have any private time to truly get to know each other so when they got married to me it seemed more like they were marrying an acquaintance - not the love of their life or soulmate. It baffles me since marriage is supposed to be about love. You can't love someone when you barely know them....that's just infatuation.

[Barb23]

[quote name="leighroda" post="409088" timestamp="1411674554

Edited 1) tipped and ripped are not the same.

2) I thought of something funny: I really want to run into MEchelle in public and say "oh, do you have any kids?" Because she would be completely befuddled that someone is not aware that she "gave birth to every one"

Don't forget to tell MEchelle that she looks so young to have (birthed) 19 children. But don't wait around for a "Thank you" because she won't say that. Be sure to use your high-pitched baby voice.

[GEML]

Well, it's a very modern and recent concept that marriage is about love, or even mostly about love. I doubt that the Duggars would say it ISNT about love, but they would say it's also spiritual, about producing and raising children, a form of ministry, etc. Love is only a small part of it.

[Joe Jitsu913]

[quote name="leighroda" post="409088" timestamp="1411674554

Edited 1) tipped and ripped are not the same.

2) I thought of something funny: I really want to run into MEchelle in public and say "oh, do you have any kids?" Because she would be completely befuddled that someone is not aware that she "gave birth to every one"

Don't forget to tell MEchelle that she looks so young to have (birthed) 19 children. But don't wait around for a "Thank you" because she won't say that. Be sure to use your high-pitched baby voice.

I have always wanted to meet the Duggars (particularly Jim Blob and Mullet) and say "OMG, I love your show! You're the Batses, right?...No? Oh yeah, you're the Maxwells! " ( Insert any other Mega Family here). Just for shits and giggles of course. I would pay to see Mullet's reaction.

Edited September 26, 2014 by Joe Jitsu913

[leighroda]

Lol... What if someone went up to her and pulled her aside all dead serious and told her that they've really been praying about it and that her "continence"(however you spell that) is really causing their husband to stumble and have impure thoughts, so could she go ahead and just cover it up. Seeing as they seem to feel it's all the girls responsibility to just cover up and hide everything from men... She would have to walk around with a bag on her head.

[riverblue22]

Lol... What if someone went up to her and pulled her aside all dead serious and told her that they've really been praying about it and that her "continence"(however you spell that) is really causing their husband to stumble and have impure thoughts, so could she go ahead and just cover it up. Seeing as they seem to feel it's all the girls responsibility to just cover up and hide everything from men... She would have to walk around with a bag on her head.

 

Yep, that would be her "countenance" and she needs to be told that it is defrauding all our husbands.  And that her hair is also very defrauding with all those long, sexy, kinks!

[maraleia]

The thing that irks me the most about the Duggars and their ilk is they think the rest of the world is so bad that they have to shield their kids from it, however, the Duggars are hypocrites because they put themselves out there via the very communication methods they claim to abhore i.e. TV, radio and magazines.

[ghoulina]

Yep, that would be her "countenance"

 

Hey, at this point, her continence may very well be an issue. Heee

[starfire]

Michelle drives me nuts with the way she talks and how she often puts emphasis on words that would normally not be emphasized in a sentence. Vey distracting.

[Brown eyed girl]

The one thing that bothers me is when MeChelle goes on and on about how she defrauded her male neighbor while mowing the lawn in her bikini. Talking about being vain. I would love to find and ask him what reasons he had for leaving his wife. Was it because of "bikini" wearing MeChelle?? I would love it if he said I don't remember her. I left my wife because of x y and z.

To see the look on her face would be priceless. What do you mean he doesn't remember me. I was the hot cheerleader that everyone wanted!

[SusieQZie]

Having some time to waste (for a change) last night, I was looking at some of the Duggar social media accounts. I am always so annoyed when they post pictures while they are out thrift shopping of them with other shoppers, or my personal favorite I saw last night, with a store clerk who did not look at all thrilled to be trapped in to a picture with the Divine Uterus herself. The woman had on a head scarf, which I am sure Michelle thought would make the fam look oh so accepting and tolerant.

[truthtalk2014]

That might be a nice lawsuit against MEchelle.  "Your honor, I was defrauded and it ruined my marriage."

[RazzleberryPie]

Lol... What if someone went up to her and pulled her aside all dead serious and told her that they've really been praying about it and that her "continence"(however you spell that) is really causing their husband to stumble and have impure thoughts, so could she go ahead and just cover it up. Seeing as they seem to feel it's all the girls responsibility to just cover up and hide everything from men... She would have to walk around with a bag on her head.

OK this cracked me up. Countenance = face. Continence = bladder control.

[NikSac]

OK this cracked me up. Countenance = face. Continence = bladder control.

 

Completely cracked me up too. I was thinking "she should probably start a gift registry for Depends..."

[Shugardrawers]

My grandparents were very conservative Nazarenes.  They (well my grandmother mainly, grandpoppy was a LOT more tolerant of the younger generation) were opposed to dancing.  I asked Grandma why once and she said because "it leads to other things".  I told her it was perfectly fine for her to do "other things" with Grandpoppy so would she dance with him.  Absolutely NOT was her response but she couldn't give me a reason why that was still bad.  Grandpoppy on the other hand had no real issues with most dancing and even fought and won a HUGE battle between them to allow me to go to my 9th grade prom but ONLY dateless.  Their logic only goes 1/2 way on this.  So if dancing tempts you into going and creating more babies for your quiverful with your spouse then what's the problem?  Grandpoppy was very devout but realized the world was changing around him and that his beliefs were his personal issue and NOT one to force on his grandchildren.  Grandma on the other hand would have been a HUGE Duggar fan.

[maraleia]

I just keep on thinking about the fact that the Duggars and their ilk are down in DC at the VV14 Summit spewing hate and ignorance while the UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, the head of the World Bank, heads of state, monarchs, actors, musicians and concertgoers (who only got a ticket for doing good works- free tickets mind you) were all in Central Park at a star-studded Global Citizens Festival concert (all the musicians waived their fees and performed for free) staged to raise awareness about global poverty, sanitation needs, vaccinations and equal education opportunities for girls and boys.Such a worthwhile cause unlike what they are promoting at the VV14 Summit.

Here are more details about the event. http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/6266492/global-citizen-festivals-2014-co-founder

This is just another one in a long line of things about the Duggars and their ilk that get on my nerves.

[DangerousMinds]

I wonder which event Jesus would attend?

[GEML]

I imagine Jesus would have been of doing his own work and not caring where the Duggars or the World Bank and heads of state were doing.

[sillycat]

I am of the opinion that if you place all of your values and beliefs on one set of rules and teachings that you limit yourselves your own perspective you will doom all who follow to your own demise..  I have had no problems with the Duggars original mindset for their children per se, but it's false.  They don't care about their children, they care about fame and glory and they are as arrogant as they appear

 

 

 

[leighroda]

OK this cracked me up. Countenance = face. Continence = bladder control.

Lol! I didn't even notice that, I'm in nursing school so "continence" is actually a word I use frequently... I didn't notice that it autocorrected.

OK this cracked me up. Countenance = face. Continence = bladder control.

Lol! I didn't even notice that, I'm in nursing school so "continence" is actually a word I use frequently... I didn't notice that it autocorrected.

[RazzleberryPie]

Lol! I didn't even notice that, I'm in nursing school so "continence" is actually a word I use frequently... I didn't notice that it autocorrected.

Lol! I didn't even notice that, I'm in nursing school so "continence" is actually a word I use frequently... I didn't notice that it autocorrected.

I presumed it was an autocorrect issue, but still hilarious.

[Barb23]

Not sure what thread we were talking about Michelle not being able to say anything unique when describing her children so I'm posting my comment here....

I was watching episode of Little People where they are showing Audrey's (Jeremy's fiance) wedding shower. One of the games they played was the guests had to write down one word to describe Audrey. Amy was surprised (me too) that no one's answer was duplicated & Amy said it showed how great a person Audrey is & how people see her. Too bad Michelle doesn't watch TV because she could have learned a lot from this episode.

[CarolMK]

One of the episodes tonight, the one where the girls go shoe shopping, they mention that they still go to thrift shops for used shoes..ugh, really, Jim Bob? Seriously, the family must be millonaires at this point, all the years on tv, the real estate investments, cell phone tower, paid speaking engagements, 2 books, etc etc. Used shoes for those kids are just totally wrong when they can easily afford new ones for everybody.

[Guest]

I just started watching the Duggars on Netflix, and it bugs me when they travel in the big bus.  So many small children just running around while it's moving, no seatbelts or carseats, etc.  They could travel just as economically in two big vans and be much safer.

[Ljohnson1987]

The husbands controlling their wives, and that glassy eye stare that all of the married women have. It's scary.

[GEML]

There is actually an article on SLATE about the "perfect political wife" and the commercials campaigns run with wives staring adoringly into their husband's eyes.  It reminded me of the Duggars.  I laughed out loud.

[lucille66]

Maybe this has been mentioned before, but I can't stand the opening to their show. Hearing Michelle's voice is like listening to someone run their fingernails down a chalkboard. Then the "That's me, I'm Michelle! And there's Jimbob, my WONderful husband" makes me want to rip my hair out. Then JB grabs her and engulfs her in a big smooch. Why do we have to see them do this all the time? And, yes, Michelle, we know that it's a grand total of 19 and that YOU delivered every one of them. :P

[Fuzzysox]

I can't stand that they don't take advantage of showering everyday. Some of the kids are always dirty looking and lately Jill and Jessa are starting to look greasy and dirty too. Is showering so taxing that they can't put some time in everyday?

And  also can't stand that they are always on the stink bus traveling and the kids don't get much homefooling done. I can't imagine what these kids are going to experience once they are out in the real world. How many properties can Boob own to where the boys are going to be taking care of them? Seems like the boys are being set up for an aimless life,

[Chai]

I grew up believing that God gives each of us free will. If you are born into the Duggar house that's taken away from you.

Where did they get the wacky idea to listen to the teachings of bill gothard? Follow Jesus' teachings I understand. But follow some guy who was never married or had children on his authority on marriage and children?? That's crazy!

[bigskygirl]

JB and Michelle, imo, were easy pickings for the Gothard movement. Michelle thought she was hot stuff and Jim Bob thought he was so lucky to catch the hot cheerleader. They were easily convince the Gothard teaching was right for them. They turn out to be smug, overbearing, know it all types who think the sun does not rise until they get up in the morning. Sadly, they have started a new generation of carbon copies of themselves. I would love to see the whole family in the real world without being able to hide behind their political/religious beliefs and followers telling them how great they are.

[GEML]

I agree that they were easy pickings. Someone else mentioned that they actually show a remarkable lack of self control themselves and are barely more than mid-40 year old adolescents in many ways. Gothard removes the responsibility of self control by replacing that with rules and regulations at nearly every turn.

Also, Gothard's biggest hook was to keep even "religious" families from having rebellious children. Both JB and Michelle have siblings that fell off of the straight and narrow path (from their perspective) JB's sister having a child without being married and we know that Michelle's one sister is gay, and who knows about her other siblings? But Gothard promised that families that followed his teachings would avoid that.

Plus, they came out of a Baptist tradition where quite a few of Gothard's teachings have been brought into many churches without going full force, so taking that a little further wouldn't, at first, have seemed quite so extreme. And, indeed, early on, the Duggars weren't terribly extreme at all. They both worked, Michelle used birth control, they attended and were married in a traditional church.

But after the miscarriage they seem to have sought some unwise counsel, and there does, for whatever reason, seem to be a genuine sort of self-hatred of themselves towards their earlier selves that is sad, even if it does set them up for their endless prattling on about how pure and perfect they think they are now.

Seem in context, the Duggars were ideal to fall into it.

[msblossom]

And now that they have branded themselves as Gothard zealots, and made a boatload of money from strict adherence to the lifestyle, that even if they wanted to back off and ease up on some the rules -- they really can't. Although, I don't really think they want to.

It's easier for them to have very black and white boundaries to remain in control. For people who have less self control, giving them more freedom spells disaster because they don't know what to do with it and they usually go crazy with it and end up taking their freedom too far, and for people like the Duggars -- it scares them and threatens their belief system. But that's where God's grace comes in because He helps us navigate our lives through the Spirit which is at work in every Christian. He doesn't love us any more or any less when we get off track and mess up.

[Guest]

JB and Michelle, imo, were easy pickings for the Gothard movement. Michelle thought she was hot stuff and Jim Bob thought he was so lucky to catch the hot cheerleader. They were easily convince the Gothard teaching was right for them. They turn out to be smug, overbearing, know it all types who think the sun does not rise until they get up in the morning. Sadly, they have started a new generation of carbon copies of themselves. I would love to see the whole family in the real world without being able to hide behind their political/religious beliefs and followers telling them how great they are.

Even the sun is on Duggar time.

[lucille66]

 Gothardism causes people to live in a way that puffs themselves up spiritually. Gothardites are careful to follow every Gothard principle and rule verbatim, mixing in some Bible verses, and they begin to think they are superior to all the other Christians. I have known several individuals/families that have fallen into the Gothard trap. They lived every aspect of their lives according to all the teachings they learned at Gothard seminars, buying every book, workbook, pamphlet, joining ati , etc. They dressed the same, behaved the same, used the same wordings and phrases....just like the Duggars. But there's this thing called individuality. We all come from different family lives, backgrounds, cultures. We all have different personalities, talents, gifts, ideas. I've always thought that Gothardism taught a cookie cutter type of lifestyle.....if you follow all these steps, then this will happen....But that is impossible. Just because certain things work out for the Duggars doesn't mean it will work out for another family. I know a couple of people who were living such "righteous" lives.... they married, had large families, homeschooled, home-churched, all the Gothard stuff....but ended up in failure. Their family lives are completely destroyed and broken. These individuals puffed themselves up so much or for so long that when the balloon burst they fell fast and hard. The pendulum swung to the extreme opposite side and nothing but disaster was the outcome. The children of these families are the ones that suffer the most.

[GEML]

Truthfully, most families who practice Gothardism end up destitute with health issues. They have daughters who become adults with no "worthy" men by their own standards to marry and no education or trade skills. It's incredibly sad to watch. The Duggars and the Bates are the very top of what is essentially a soul crushing pyramid scheme. And even they were both living in very VERY modest circumstances before television.

[truthtalk2014]

Taking a group of 20+ people to central America- I forgot where they went - possibly El Salvador- and flaunt their holiness.  Look how cool we are for going and playing with the "littles" at the orphanage and bringing them cheap gifts.  They were so self righteous and felt so good.

 

NOW, imagine if they would have taken all that money they spent on flights, lodging and such and used it to feed children and families that can't afford tater tot casserole and Starbucks drinks.

 

I have no idea what the flights and lodging cost, but for such a poor country, I am certain that the people would have been more happy with food as opposed to the Duggars and their good deed vacation trip showcasing how good and Christian they are. 

[WTFFF]

You forgot the part where JimBob said that just "by their presence, they brought more joy to [those people] than they've felt all year."  My jaw dropped when he said that.  These people are beyond full of themselves.  I know people think Michelle borders on narcissism, but I think JimBob is right up there with her.