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againstthewind

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Posts posted by againstthewind

  1. Another rape survivor here. I was 110% detached from the whole thing. Didn’t cry. It’s like I was hovering above my body in the days after. I was later diagnosed with PTSD and spent my late twenties mired in alcoholism. There is no one way to handle stress or tragedy. I’m glad this show is shedding light on this, and I’m horrified that this poor woman had to actually endure this. This is why I didn’t report. This is why millions of women don’t.

    • Love 6
  2. I love Hannah and I can barely watch this season anymore. She reminds me of myself so much seven years ago. I spent too much time trying to change men who were SO CLOSE to my ideal except for one raging thing wrong with them. I was manipulated, even though I was “strong” (I was just loud, opinionated and convinced I was more correct than all of my friends and family who told me otherwise).

    My boyfriend now is Tyler hot. Like, stupid, model, turns heads when he walks hot. We were friends first, because I couldn’t take him seriously. And I the I thought he was full of shit when he was genuinely nice. It took time for me to realize that he was just a good person. 

    I was telling my mom about this season and how crazy Hannah is to pass over Tyler. My mom laughed and said if you didn’t think he was full of shit at her age, then you would’ve dumped him for being too nice aka boring. She’s right. Hell, I had to fight my instincts to do that with my current boyfriend when I started dating him at 29! I would’ve always found Jed’s shitty guitar playing gross though.

    At least Hannah has self-awareness, as evidenced by her tweets. I hope she’s learned a lot about what kind of man she deserves. I don’t think it should be Tyler though. He needs to be someone’s first choice, not someone’s backup plan. It’s a lesson for her.

    • Love 10
  3. Cassie: too immature to even be on this show. I actually was a lot like her around her age. My parents met in an elevator. My dad was working on it and my mom "stalked" him (being that it was 1985, she found out what company he worked for, called the secretary from the phone book, got his name and had a half-blind date that my dad went on as a joke). They moved in together a week later, engaged a week after that and have been married 33 years. I grew up thinking that it was NORMAL to meet someone like that and just know. It's not. It's SO not. I probably threw away a lot of good relationships feeling like I needed that instant YES feeling. My relationship now? We both had serious butterflies/lust, but we were nine months in before the I love yous came, and we both needed to grow into that love. In that time, he lost his mother, I lost my grandfather, we both started new jobs...lot of life changes. Love isn't all about lust and sex, but about caring about that person through thick and thin, and seeing them at their worst and still wanting to protect them, and putting yourself in front of them. While it may happen instantaneously for some, I think that in most cases, you need to experience life together to know. IT ISN'T POSSIBLE ON THIS SHOW. Life isn't Thailand and Portugal. It's his mom getting sick and dying at Christmas. It's dirty gym socks on the dining room table, and body wash on the shower ceiling. It's running a 101 degree fever and looking like shit and them still rubbing your back.  If Cassie really, really was into him, and had the foresight to understand how love works (which I didn't have until I was about 28), she would've stayed when Colton offered dating up. 

    I think her father did her a huge disservice. I get not saying yes to Colton's question. My dad - he of the two-weeks in engagement - probably would roll his eyes. But he's setting up his daughter for disappointment if he tells her that is the only way to fall in love.

    I agree with whoever above said that TPTB need to start staying away from 20-somethings. Most people are getting married into their thirties now, and it's clear that most of these people have no idea what they want. And THAT'S OKAY! Maybe the show would have a better success rate if they aimed for people about five years older.

    • Love 20
  4. Wow. This episode brought up some shit.

    Your resident alcoholic here (22 months sober). My dad is Jack Pearson. VERY SIMILAR. Family man. Everyone loves him. Fantastic dad and husband. Drinking problem - very similar to Jack’s. I’ve seen people talk about Jack’s problem seeming unrealistic and I’m telling you that it was exactly how my dad was (he stopped drinking six years ago). I’m also going through some pretty intensive therapy talking about how I whitewashed my childhood as a coping mechanism, and it’s brought up some times when my parents - especially my dad (who I idolize like Kate does) - were not perfect like I remembered he was. It’s tough, and I bawled most of the episode. And the fact that Kevin picked up. I have a savior complex as well, and if I found out that my family had a big secret and that person wasn’t here to talk to anymore, I’d be broken. He’s shown so much growth. And he looks like my alcoholic boyfriend (who I always worry about drinking again).

    im not sure the point of all this is, but this episode hit me hard.

    • Love 16
  5. 20 hours ago, Maharincess said:

    A sincere congratulations on your year and a half, that is a hell of an accomplishment.  I haven't had a drop of alcohol since 12/29/1995 and I can tell you it gets so much easier. I don't even think about alcohol anymore. 

    Had to edit,  I've been sober since 1995, not 85. So sorry for the typo. 

    Congratulations to you too! That’s incredible! A year felt like so long, but nearly 28 is unreal. In some ways, my second year has been harder than my first (my first was filled with death and just general awfulness so I threw myself into the program) because it’s been very quiet and “normal”! But the cravings are fewer and far between, and I’m glad to hear that they’ll get even better.

    • Love 7
  6. 1 hour ago, SweetieDarling said:

    Luann just claimed she's allergic to alcohol. Alcohol doesn't affect her like other people. She can't have 1 or 2 glasses of wine, she drinks the whole bottle, and then looks for more....No Luann, that's not an allergic reaction, that's a symptom of alcoholism. Wake up, the coffee is burning. I'd give her a quarter to buy a clue, but God only knows what would happen to it.

    When asked about the lawsuit she said the kids aren't happy with her selling the home in The Hamptons, it's their home too, so The Count decided to sue her. No mention of breach of contract or bilking her kids out of their money. She decided to keep the house "for the children".

     

    Oh, Luann..to quote Tamra (OC-at least I think it was here), Is your ass jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?

     

    In defense of Luann, the "allergy to alcohol" thing is a super-common saying that comes out of The Rooms (AA). People don't really take it literally, in that we believe our throat will close up or whatever, just that our body processes alcohol differently and craves more after one or two drinks, whereas the normal person doesn't.

     

    RE: Rehab - sadly, an expert in this. Rehab, contrary to what most people think, isn't exclusively for the wealthy. I went to rehab, as did several people in my life close to me. We're all solidly upper-middle class. I went to rehab for alcohol for 35 days, followed by another two months of intensive outpatient therapy and three more months of CBT on top of working a program. I've been sober for a year and a half now. 30-90 days tends to be commonplace for most rehabs. Any longer, you can be institutionalized and forget how to operate in the real world - it's important to gain some semblance of a routine as a functioning adult. I've known of people who go away for six to twelve months and then relapse immediately once they're exposed to the "real world" again. You are truly cut off in rehab, no matter how luxury the place is. Many times, when someone relapses, they often do just go back for 2 or so weeks as a "stabilizer" (not counting any detox time). Most times people do know what led them to their relapse, they aren't starting at square one again.

    • Love 15
  7. Man, it’s been four years and I remember why I don’t enjoy figure skating much anymore. Adam Rippon was lowballed. Couldn’t someone just submit a program with quads all over the place with no intent to land them to get an inflated score?

    • Love 14
  8. I wasn't familiar with the book. The first episode, I was incredibly distracted by the complete selfishness of what Hannah did. There is something so heartbreakingly awful about telling the people you left behind about what they did to drive you to suicide.

    Now, I'm on this episode and despite how well done the show is, I'm struggling to  get through it. My high school experience was a breeze compared to Hannah's, but it's been 11 years since I was in it and I'm finding myself on the verge of tears on every scene. People are unspeakably CRUEL sometimes. If I had a teenager, I'd force them to watch.

    • Love 6
  9. So, I just saw this today. I'm mad at myself it took me two weeks - work travel and getting sick will do that to you.

    The original animated version is very important to me. It was the first film I saw in theaters. I was Belle for Halloween. My family calls me Belle (real name rhymes). I have seen the original more times than I can count. If this was announced prior to Cinderella, I would've hated the idea, but I loved the LA Cinderella and actually was pretty excited.

    The Good:

    I loved the back stories added. The number one benefit for me is it sells the love story, whereas (although I hate to admit it) the original one can be borderline icky. Now I believe they have a genuine connection. Also, others have mentioned the plot holes it addressed (no one knew the fucking castle was there?). The plague scene made me cry (so did a lot more later in the movie).

    I also loved the fleshing out of LeFou and the calming down of Maurice. TBH, Gaston was a hothead in the initial movie but he wasn't wrong about Maurice. In this case, they went total sociopath on Gaston and Luke Evans sold the hell out of it. Shallow, but it is a shame he is gay.

    I actually liked how the rose petal fell and the Enchantress chose to revive them.

    Dan Stevens. I loved him on Downton, and have really enjoyed his post-Downton work (google The Guest shower scene and thank me later). However, I wasn't sure how he'd tackle this role so my expectations were average. He exceeded them. He brought so much humanity to this role, and the way they did the beast voice was great - you could still hear so much of Dan. Loved how they did the eyes as well, and they definitely chose an actor with striking eyes. Also, he can sing!

    I've mentioned Luke Evans and Dan Stevens, but also Josh Gad, Ian McKellan and Kevin Kline. Audra, as always, crushed the vocals.

    The scenery was lovely.

    The Meh

    The new songs. Liked Evermore, was not as big of a fan on the others. And I hate the Legend/Grande duet. You can't improve on the Celine original.

    Emma Thompson. I love that woman and thought I'd love her in this role, but part of me wondered if maybe Audra may have better suited for this role so she could've killed the song during the ballroom scene. Maybe I'm more partial to the Angela Lansbury vocal than I thought I was?

    Ewan Macgregor. I had heard the Mexican thing, but his accent was fine to me. However, you just can't touch the Orbach performance to me, and I knew this going in.

    The Not So Good

    Emma Watson. Hated the casting then, don't like it better now. She can't sing very well, and she is missing the compassion (I think - it was SOMETHING) the original Belle oozed. She was monotone and honestly if Stevens wasn't so great it would've sunk the movie. Also, the I love you scene, did she mean it like she just realized it or what? I couldn't figure out her motivation. I'm just not impressed with her. They did have chemistry, so I'll give them that.

    The dress and the way the ballroom scene was filmed. The transformation to the Prince was such a homage to the original and I wish the dance was more of one as well.

    ---

    Despite my obvious distaste for the lead, I actually really, really liked it. I am super hormonal but I sobbed my eyes out the last ten minutes of the movie. Between the Beast dying and the servants transforming (the dog barking broke me, and so did Mrs Potts looking for Chip) I was a mess. It wasn't my finest moment. 

    One of my friends wants to see it Sunday and I may go again.

    • Love 7
  10. 1 minute ago, Luckylyn said:

    Jack has good qualities but there are chauvinist tendencies with him sometimes.  Jack does not take Rebecca's contribution to the family as a stay at home mom seriously.  

    I agree entirely, but wasn't that kind of the prevailing attitude at the time? Rebecca and Jack are/were 10 and 15 years older than my parents, respectively so I genuinely don't know. 

    • Love 5
  11. 31 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

    Please tell us:  What was the arrogant, ungrateful, self-entitled little bitch like in high school?

    We didn't run in the same circles - I was pretty clean cut and ran with the athletes, and he was definitely into things that weren't my scene. He was always in a band, wore a Mohawk and heavily gauged ears.

    His parents are actually phenomenal people, and it's very sad it got to this point. I also have it on pretty good authority that heavier drugs are a bigger problem than the show made it look like they were, so take from that what you will. He is in rehab now. Everyone is beyond appalled at his behavior and how self-entitled he was.

    • Love 6
  12. 17 minutes ago, TobinAlbers said:

    Even now as I type this I'm fighting tears remembering the whole exchange of a parent looking down into the eyes of their helpless child as their lives are getting started and seeing that light looking back up at them only to have it reverse with the sick/weak parent looking up into their child's eyes (still the same and yet so adult) and knowing they're seeing the light fade from your own eyes.  On one hand it's the last thing a parent would want their child to see and yet the last thing a parent would want to see is the face of their loved one. I never thought of that parallel before and now it's all I can think about.

    Now you're making me cry again! This was the exchange that brought me to my tears last night.

    • Love 4
  13. 11 hours ago, Misslindsey said:

    I liked A Dash of Love as well. I liked both of the leads. I like Jen Lilley in these type of movies. I really liked her in Lifetimes A Spirit for Christmas a year or so ago too. The ending was a bit rushed, but so many of these movies have that problem. I would have liked a time jump to see them run their restaurant or something.

    A Spirit for Christmas is one of my favorite Christmas movies, along with Snow Bride. The male lead in A Spirit...oh man.

    Jen Lilley is very likeable.

    • Love 3
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