[S10.E15: The Live Playoffs, Night 2]

Lacy is no Pat Benatar. Just no. Caity sang an Adele song pretty well, but unless you're phenomenal, you ARE Adele, or you change the song to make it more yours, you're going to suffer a bit in comparison to Adele.

 

I echo your sentiments about Adele and expand them to include Pat Benatar, who has a hell of a voice.  Besides, I don't understand why contestants who want to show how "rock" they are tend to go for the more "Pop" Benatar songs.  I don't care how badly they butchered it, I'd break my rule and vote if anyone had the balls to go for something like "Hell is For Children."

[S14.E05: Gunn And Heid]

I can't see Candice without thinking of Vampira and Plan 9 From Outer Space.   Or Kelly(?) without thinking of Boy George.

 

Everytime I see Candice, I think she must be a cosplayer for Lailari, the female alien from Galaxy Quest, because that hair and eyebrows are too dead on not to be a deliberate imitation.

[S12.E12: Top 14 Perform + Elimination]

    Here's the thing with the Fish Burlesque: they weren't ever supposed to be fish in the way that Wade Robson or Sonya would make the dancers actually become fish (It's the dance of the spawning salmon! Jump! Avoid the bear!). They were supposed to be sexy burlesque dancers wearing silly costumes that made one think of goofy fish. That's the point of burlesque: to be sexy and silly. And Alexia at least did her part. There was a weird mishap where she may have fallen off Ariana's back (it was awkward) but I'm not sure that either dancer got much direction.  Ballet dancer Eliana would have killed it, way back when, but she'd also trained as a pole dancer and could pull off something like this because she had a terrific sense of humor that translated well to the stage.

 

The first few seconds of the fish routine really made me stand up and take notice.  It had the potential to be really interesting and different, which is something this show badly needs, but the execution was just awful.  Both girls looked awkward and uncomfortable, the antithesis of sexy or burlesque.  Ballet dancer Eliana definitely has the legs and dance moves and would have done the number justice, but I think this really called for someone with a slightly darker or edgier sexiness.  You know who would have really killed this number?  Ballroom dancer Iveta.  Remember her

?  This would have been right up her alley.   Come to think about it, the other dancer whose sexuality would have also been perfect for this number was also a ballroom dancer - Lacey from season 3.

 

Sigh.  Can you tell that I yearn from a break from the technically proficient but paint (or in this case dance) by the numbers stage girls?

 

My favorite is still Yaya, even if the show for some reason keeps giving her soft, watered down hip-hop numbers instead of allowing her to show off her specialty with real hard-hitting stuff.

[S12.E07: Top 20 Perform]

I just want to call bullshit on the stage team getting more performances. WTF?  What kind of even contest is that when you cram street dancers up to 4 per group, including a group with two b-boys, a krumper and waacker, while pairing the two ballet and two contemporary dancers into duos? Why not separate the two b-boys and allow them to do their thing like the ballet guys did (that way the bboys would have had more of a chance to shine and the street girls would not have had their choreography dumbed down so the bboys could keep up).  Mixing the bboy with a krumper and a waacker would be like having the ballet guys dancing with the tapper and a jazz girl.

 

Having said that, I only care about JaJa and Jim, and even though I like Jim I don't love him (he's good, but he's not Alex Wong). I can barely remember the others from the auditions except for Asaf, and I remember him because of his outburst, not his dancing.  Can we just start by sending home all of the contemporary girls? Seriously, after watching every single show, including tonight, not a single one of them stands out from the other.  Put the same wig on them and they're pretty much interchangeable. 

[S07.E15: Don't Be All, Like, Uncool]

It's been reported that when the housewives are on vacation they're followed 24/7 by multiple camera crews. There's security, producers and cameramen with them at the house. So I have a hard time believing the level of outrage over the naked man and possibly being in danger. It's not like they're an actual group of girlfriends on vacation alone.

 

IIRC, the opposite is what has been reported, that they're NOT filmed 24/7 while on vacation.  They're certainly not filmed while they're in their room sleeping, or when they have men inside the house and/or room with them, or therwise we'd have plenty of footage of LuAnn sleeping with a guy in St. Barth's, and she would not have been able to claim that the others heard were just old (was it French or Italian) friends who she had over. And there would be plenty of interesting (mostly X-rated) footage of Sonja and the Pirate doing it on the lawn. Or for fans of Shahs of Sunset, if cameras really filmed 24/7, including during the night, there would be footage of what really happened between GG and Mike in Turkey .  That none of that footage has ever seen the light of day shows that cameras don't follow them 24/7, and certainly don't film them when they have retired for the night and are presumably sleeping (except, of course, for previously agreed-on scenes).

 

Since the naked stranger was sleeping inside Heather's and Carole's suite, he could have done a lot without the cameras watching him, so the camera crews were no protection. 

 

If anything, the camera crews presented an additional, different, danger.  If Heather and Carole had slept in late and the guy crawled off naked or half-dressed from their suite in the morning before they woke, there was a good chance that the guy would be filmed leaving their suite without them knowing anything.  Since Heather is married and Carole was dating the chef at that time, my bet is that the editing monkeys (and the tabloids) would have had a field day with that.  Imaging the nasty surprise they could have received when they watched previews showing a strange guy leaving their suite, with the implication that one (or both) of them had a wild night in T&C.

 

Heather and Carole are reality TV veterans by now, so I wouldn't be surprised if part of their anger is precisely because they realize that Ramona set them up to take the fall for her antics if cameras caught the guy around, but that's something they wouldn't be able to bring up without breaking the fourth wall.

[Season 4 Talk]

This is what frustrates me about this show, and now the reunion.  Why won't anyone call out Golnesa on her obsession with Mike, and if this "hook-up" was so one-sided why was she giggling, laughing and snuggling and most importantly, WHY THE F WAS SHE IN A HOTEL ROOM ALONE WITH MIKE IF SHE WAS SO UN-INTERESTED.    It frustrates me to no end that no one is asking her these questions or pointing out that she failed her 1st lie detector test.

 

It is painfully obvious to me that GG has carried a torch for Mike ever since he dated her sister decades ago and the source of all her frustration is that Mike is having sex with everyone but her.  When you put it all together, maybe Mike IS onto something and maybe GG set the whole situation up.  if the Bravo crew didn't tape them going to the hotel room, then who did?  Maybe GG placed her phone or had someone tape them walking to the room, just so she could bring it up this season to humiliate Mike and end his engagement.  And again, why isn't anyone asking GG why she happily trotted into an engaged man's room at 3am?

 

And while it's crystal clear that GG is jealous and wants to break up the engagement, one thing no one counted on was that Jessica is more determined to be a wife than LeBron James is to win a championship for Cleveland.  You heard her jump out of that plane "I'm going to be a wife!"  She picked her guy and she's sticking with it no matter what.  And she's certainly not going to let GG break it up.  And why break off an engagement when you can make your husband's life a living Hell and get whatever you want?

My take was pretty much identical to yours up to now, that GG was jealous and was trying to break up the engagement.  Why else make such a big deal out of a drunken pass, especially when GG seemed willing enough to go with Mike's flirting and going to his room at 3 am?  But in the reunion GG went even more viciously after Mike and his relationship with Jessica, to the point that (to me) she seemed more of a scorned woman than a jealous one, and a new thought popped into my head, one that would explain why GG seems so bitter.  I'm starting to think that perhaps GG didn't say no to the drunken pass.  If they actually slept together, something that GG couldn't admit to without looking slutty or foolish, then it would make perfect sense for her to go ballistic at the news that Mike was going to propose to Jessica.   Of course, GG didn't have any qualms about throwing her own sister under that particular bus.

 

As for Reza, I can't for the life of me understand why any of these people would want to be friends with him, much less fight over his friendship.  He is a treasonous snake who has a habit of turning on friends and viciously attacking them, often to shift away attention from his own shitty actions.  A couple of seasons ago he did it to MJ.  This time it was Mike's turn.

 

The only one I can really stand in this group is Asa, which probably means that next season it will be her turn to feel Reza's ire.

[S05.E17: Amster-Damn Slap]

That was the slap we were teased with all season long?  That's not a real slap. Take away the added sound effect and that was just a playful tap in the face.  It was still wrong because LisaV clearly was in no mood to be playful with Brandi and did not think Brandi would take their slapping talk seriously and actually act on it, but it's nothing deserving of anything more than a sincere apology.

[S07.E14: Hello Mr. Chocolate]

I think Phaedra was quite lucky in that the Bravo production crew was there filming.  

 

Maybe his friend Bun reminded Apollo of this fact and that's why he finally put down that fucking drill and left.  

 

No luck needed.  That was very obviously preplanned to film Apollo making a scene about Fakedra changing the locks.  There's nothing exciting about a guy changing locks at a home.  It would have taken a TV crew all of five minutes to film the "locksmith" showing up and Phaedra making a few comments, not to mention that the "locksmith" asking Phaedra why she wanted the locks changed screamed scripted production.  And don't get me started on the garage openers, which can be reprogrammed by any idiot in two minutes flat after a one minute google search for instructions.  No, the "garage remote reprogrammer" was there just as an excuse for the TV cameras to hang around until Apollo showed up, as well as an excuse for Phaedra to be standing in front of the open garage doors so Apollo could come in and out freely. 

 

That was by far the fakiest set-up I have seen in any of the housewives shows.

[S07.E15: One Knight Only]

But, I have to say that if I were giving the win on just last night's episode I would have given it to Drew.  I really like his knights a lot.

 

I liked Drew's characters, but they were far too simple.  They looked more like what I would expect to see from a two-person team working on a regular three-day challenge, not a three person team working four days for a finale.  They were well done, but there was nothing truly surprising or spectacular about them, which is what I want for the finale. I never really considered him a contender for the win, but after seeing him help DIna's team and seeing him with his family, I wouldn't have minded him winning.

 

For me it was between Cig and Dina. Cig's and Dina's Dark Knights were both spectacular, but I thought Dina's was more creative and original. I especially loved how the chin looked and how truly animal like the mouth looked when it was opening and closing. And then the Light Knight sealed the deal.  Dina's was also original and the star shield was incredible, while Cig's just looked like an ugly guy. 

[S19.E07: Week 5: The Switch-Up]

Tonight was a weird night for me. I know nothing about dance and have two left feet, so normally I would never feel qualified to judge anything technical about a dance or its authenticity, but flamenco is the one style of dance I've been exposed to over and over. A close friend is a professional flamenco dancer, so I've kind of been dragged to everything  from rehearsals, to student productions, to dinner shows for tourists, to professional theater shows and the real  deal in Spain. I'm not pretending to be an expert, but I flamenco is the one dance that I feel I know what's it's supposed to look like, and to me Alfonso's flamenco just looked so, so wrong. I mean, to the point where I was cringing through a lot of it because it felt like an unintended parody of the dance. 

 

The most cringe-worthy dance of the night does go to Michael.  That's no contest.  Jonathan's was second most cringe-worthy (or perhaps wince-worthy), since half the time I was expecting Peta to hit the floor.  But I have to say that for me Alfonso's flamenco was the third most cringe-worthy for me, and that makes me sad.

[S13.E06: Rock the Wedding]

I for one didn't feel too badly that Kini didn't win the challenge.  To me the real winner should have been Fade.  Kinni did most of the work on his team and liked his dress than Sean's overrated pants, but I also felt that Kini's dress was a little too derivative for me, bordering on copycat.  Change the color and that dress could have been taken right out of Leanne Marshall's Spring 2013 or Bridal Signature collections.

[S06.E23: Reunion Part 3]

Oh, it's reaching the Single White Female stage to me (without the violent ending of course).  First she loves Carole and is enamored with her work. She said that her book "changed her life". She is eager to be her friend and seeks her approval. When she realizes she isn't getting whatever adoration she thinks she deserves, she goes from admiring her to wanting to destroy her. The book that she so loved is now something that Carole had no right to write. She can find nothing good to say about her because there is no "there" there. It is certainly scary IMO. 

 

I've thought for a while that Aviva's behavior is approaching Single White Female level, but you skipped the part that truly crosses into  scary SWF territory.  Aviva didn't just go from admiring Carole to wanting to destroy her.  Aviva went from being an extreme Carole fan, to wanting to be Carole's friend, to wanting to become Carole (at least professionally speaking), to wanting to destroy Carole AND take over Carole's position as the respected writer in the group. 

 

What Aviva apparently admired the most about Carole was the latter's stature as respected writer with a well received memoir, as well as Carole's Kennedy connection.  After befriending Carole, Aviva started writing her own memoir, and signed up with not just any publisher, but with Carole's same publishing house. Once the book was finished, Aviva started putting down Carole's role as a writer so that she, Aviva, could take over as the one true writer in the group.  In the Aviva's revised history, Carole used a ghostwriter and thus is not a true writer.  Aviva was the one true writer who didn't use a ghost (yeah, right), but rather "hired a village" like real writers do in her bizarro mind.  And since Aviva cannot manufacture any connections of her own to royalty or to real high society, she takes any chance she can to belittle any connection between Carole, Lee Radziwill and the Kennedys.

 

Basically Aviva placed Carole on a pedestal, tried to duplicate Carole's publishing career, and now is busy pushing Carole off the pedestal so that Aviva can claim the it for herself.

 

It's bizarre and sick, and scary as hell if you ask me. 

[S06.E22: Reunion Part 2]

Even if Aviva is booted off the show, it doesn't seem to matter cuz she's still getting coverage from the media.

 

It may make a difference, depending on the exact terms of the contract. If Aviva is booted off the show, she may no longer be protected from a defamation lawsuit by the provision of the Bravo contract that prevents castmates from suing each other.  Any statements made while she is part of the show are probably protected by the Bravo contract, but any comments made after she is fired may not be.  I wonder if she would still be so free with her malice once she can be held liable in court. 

 

I also wonder if publicly dragging an editor from her publishing house into this mess may get her dropped.  After all, it's not as if her book sold that well.

[Brandi Glanville: Drinking and Tweeting - a book and a lifestyle!]

Have Brandi and Adrienne made up?  I just saw a tweet from Brandi thanking her:

 

@adriennemalloof MY WHOLE FAMILY IS UP AND HAVING BREAKFAST AND LOVING THIS THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING

 

The "THIS" Brandi is loving is a new hangover prevention product made by the Maloofs, shown in the photo that accompanied that tweet.  So what does it mean.  I can't believe that Adrienne would forgive Brandi.  Even the possibility of Adrienne showing up to a party filmed for RWOBH to promote her product seems kind of hard to believe, after the way Andy fired her on air. Any ideas?

[The Lottery - General Discussion]

Kyle Walker has the bubonic plague, the plague that died out in the 16th century.  Uh, not exactly.  The bubonic plague is active even today in places like India, but it has contained -- do they not have Seinfeld reruns in the near future ?  Hell, the Chinese city of Yumen was in the news just yesterday when the entire city was quarantined because of a one confirmed bubonic plague death.

instead of Doctors without Borders, these fertility clowns are apparently Doctors without Google.

 

Not to mention that the bubonic plague is a bacterial infection, not a virus. Or that to see it you would need to obtain blood cultures, not look at blood under a microscope. Or that the truly anomalous thing about that blood was that is had absolutely no white blood cells or platelets, only red blood cells. If those are the best scientists they have working on the infertility crisis, no wonder they have no clue what is causing it.