S04.E04: Trash Talk

[Slider]

10 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

Except that LeeAnne and Kary swear and she doesn’t have a problem with it so basically don’t be Brandi.

They don't swear AT her, they swear around her.  I think Kam's issue is that the cuss words were directed at her, not just verbally said.

Stephanie is totally guilty of always backing Brandi no matter what.  And yes, Brandi was being trashy.  That doesn't mean she is trash, it just means her behavior was trashy.  Brandi insisted she heard things that weren't said, and isn't doing herself any favors. 

D'Andra has problems.

Kary, you were right to get up and talk to LeeAnne one on one.  Why the hell did you sit back down when D'Andra insisted you do that?!  Who the hell is she?  That escalated way too quickly, and it was ALL D'Andra's fault.

[bichonblitz]

25 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

But are you laughing with her or at her?

With her. 

[biakbiak]

34 minutes ago, Slider said:

They don't swear AT her, they swear around her.  I think Kam's issue is that the cuss words were directed at her, not just verbally said.

She changes how she feels based on who she is talking about she was upset before Brandi said fuck because Brandi was correctly pointing out that Kam was full of shit trying to pretend that it was Brandi and Stephanie who had an issue with the room thing or that they close themselves off. Stephanie hangs out with the others  without Brandi all the time and Brandi hangs out with the others without Stephanie as well. Kam doesn’t like Brandi which is fine but just own that and don’t pretend that they are the ones that are doing the excluding.

Stephanie hasn’t always sided with Brandi but more often than not she is going to because they are actual best friends who have been best friends for years. D’Andre and LeeAnne also used to side with each other until their friendship fell apart because they were also friends for years with a close relationship from before the show and not just for the show.

Edited September 27, 2019 by biakbiak

[Dirtybubble]

I gotta say that polo match was kinda janky.  Honestly the matches on Southern Charm seem to be much more upscale.  Bathrooms waaay the hell on the other side of the field, really?!  Just couldn't put a few port-a-potties on both sides of the field?

IDK, but Kary is still getting on my nerves.  I can't put my finger on it but just something about her personality just bugs me.  Maybe it's the idea that she forced her guests to share rooms when there were enuff rooms for everyone.  And then this pushing people to exercise simply because everyone else is....wtf?  It's their vacation too, let the guests do what they want.

[biakbiak]

1 minute ago, Dirtybubble said:

gotta say that polo match was kinda janky.  Honestly the matches on Southern Charm seem to be much more upscale.  Bathrooms waaay the hell on the other side of the field, really?!  Just couldn't put a few port-a-potties on both sides of the field?

Because it wasn’t a real match they arranged it just for the show, they aren’t going crazy out of there way for six drunk assholes who don’t even actually watch. 

[heatherchandler]

1 hour ago, biakbiak said:

Except that LeeAnne and Kary swear and she doesn’t have a problem with it so basically don’t be Brandi.

I think it all has to do with the fact that JIMMY doesn't like Brandi, and thinks she is trash.  Kam is up her mother-in-law's ass, so she is going to dislike whomever Jimmy dislikes.

I actually love Kam and love that she goes after Brandi, as I loathe Brandi, and am sick of her bullshit.  Classic mean-girl - take the weakest link and ostracize.  She loves that Leanne feels like an outsider, and she plays on it.

The other mean-girl trick is to buddy up to the only friend the "outsider" has, and steal them away so the outsider has no one.  I think she's mad she can't steal Kam away from Leanne as she did with D'Andra.

[biakbiak]

2 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

The other mean-girl trick is to buddy up to the only friend the "outsider" has, and steal them away so the outsider has no one.  I think she's mad she can't steal Kam away from Leanne as she did with D'Andra.

Last season that’s what Kam and LeeAnne were totally trying to do with Stephanie and Brandi. LeeAnne and D’Andre’s friendship is so broken in so many ways that have absolutely nothing to do with Brandi. 

[pasdetrois]

Quote

I just don't like her that much.

Neither do I. I don't buy everything Stephanie is selling. And like the others, she IS selling a persona. If she's as depressed and triggered as she keeps telling us, she needs to get off TV.

I can't forget that she and her husband essentially ignored her child's severe distress during the first season.

On a somewhat lighter note, this group spends 80% of its time fake-crying, walking out of rooms in a huff, and struggling to rehash stupid arguments over and over. It's such fake bullshit.

And I just don't like seeing the extreme wealth vs. the poverty and repression experienced in Central America.

Edited September 27, 2019 by pasdetrois

[oakville]

I loved Kary's house.

She was trying to be hospitable to the other ladies but Leanne was very rude.

I was worried that D'Andra would fall down on the cement & get hurt.

[MrsWitter]

Nobody has posted it yet (I think), but I’m going to assert that Brandi’s “go suck a dick” really fell short of the Kristen Doute standard. Kristen’s brevity, her dismissive turn, her cigarette, and the fact that she said it to her boss... Brandi’s rendition  just fell a little flat in comparison.

[Hiyo]

Quote

With her. 

Ah ok...I'm definitely laughing at her.

[Dixie Sugarbaker]

Kameron has never liked Brandi, and it isn’t because of Brandi’s language, which I think is not nearly as trashy as LeeAnne’s. Kam doesn’t like Brandi because Brandi is the only HW that is not impressed that Kam is a Westcott. I have always had a soft spot for Brandi since Season 1 when she questioned why all these society people spend thousands of dollars for charity events to make hundreds for the charity. She may be a bit uncouth, but she clearly sees the BS. LeeAnne, however, kisses Dallas society’s and Kam’s snooty rear ends so her trashiness is overlooked. If Brandi kissed Kam’s ring suddenly Kam would think all of Brandi’s antics were amusing.

[RealHousewife]

On 9/26/2019 at 3:01 PM, Sarah Heart said:

It makes you feel worse, because a lot of energy is taken up, in faking 'happy.'

This is very true. I was exhausted putting on a show of being a happy person all the time. While I don’t think it’s healthy to isolate, I remember wanting to be alone so badly just so I didn’t have to be smiley and chipper and make small talk.

[Duke2801]

On 9/27/2019 at 6:36 PM, pasdetrois said:

Neither do I. I don't buy everything Stephanie is selling. And like the others, she IS selling a persona. If she's as depressed and triggered as she keeps telling us, she needs to get off TV.

I can't forget that she and her husband essentially ignored her child's severe distress during the first season.

On a somewhat lighter note, this group spends 80% of its time fake-crying, walking out of rooms in a huff, and struggling to rehash stupid arguments over and over. It's such fake bullshit.

And I just don't like seeing the extreme wealth vs. the poverty and repression experienced in Central America.

I guess I’m not as observant as I used to be. When did they show “the poverty and repression” in Mexico? 

I also don’t remember anything about Stephanie’s son in season 1. What was he severely distressed about? 

Edited September 29, 2019 by Duke2801

[DeeplyShallow]

1 hour ago, Duke2801 said:

I guess I’m not as observant as I used to be. When did they show “the poverty and repression” in Mexico? 

I also don’t remember anything about Stephanie’s son in season 1. What was he severely distressed about? 

They didn’t really show it, I think the poster was alluding to what is widely known, about thw area. Although, the bus trip to Careyes showed some of it (like the rest stop).

The son had a reading disorder, I believe. I don’t agree that Stephanie and Travis ignored him or the symptoms. If I recall correctly, they didn’t pick up on it earlier, which made Stephanie feel guilty, but they did show scenes of her working with her son. He was young and it is easy to miss certain things until pointed out by teachers.  

[ghoulina]

On 9/27/2019 at 3:23 PM, Dirtybubble said:

I gotta say that polo match was kinda janky.  Honestly the matches on Southern Charm seem to be much more upscale.  Bathrooms waaay the hell on the other side of the field, really?!  Just couldn't put a few port-a-potties on both sides of the field?

IDK, but Kary is still getting on my nerves.  I can't put my finger on it but just something about her personality just bugs me.  Maybe it's the idea that she forced her guests to share rooms when there were enuff rooms for everyone.  And then this pushing people to exercise simply because everyone else is....wtf?  It's their vacation too, let the guests do what they want.

I'm with you. There's this vibe Kary is putting off that I can't quite put my finger on. Judgy? Know-it-all? Preachy? Controlling?

I didn't like the room thing. Let people pick or give everyone their own room.

I didn't like the group exercise thing. I don't mind walking a lot on vacation, to see the sites. But I don't want to full on exercise. She should have just said, "I'll be running the steps in the morning. If anyone wants to join me, let know." She did it in such a way that almost made people feel forced. 

And no one was really watching the polo match. They were just drinking and talking. They could have done that anywhere. 

She just doesn't seem like a very good host. And as much of a downer as LeeAnn was being, Kary does this thing where she doesn't let you have YOUR experience and YOUR feelings. "well, I had a bad childhood too. But I had kids. So you should too." She seems really obtuse and unable to consider different points of view. 

On 9/27/2019 at 5:36 PM, pasdetrois said:

Neither do I. I don't buy everything Stephanie is selling. And like the others, she IS selling a persona. If she's as depressed and triggered as she keeps telling us, she needs to get off TV.

I can't forget that she and her husband essentially ignored her child's severe distress during the first season.

I don't think that's really fair to say about their son. It's so easy to miss things with little kids. There is a WIDE range of what is considered "normal". Some kids do things later than others and that's okay. So it can be hard to figure out if there is something truly wrong or if they just need a little more time. Stephanie was clearly guilt-stricken over it and working very hard to get him the help he needed. 

I also think it's a fine line when it comes to being on TV with mental health issues. On the one hand, a reality show certainly can exacerbate things and your health should come first. On the other hand, people with mental health issues "work" like everyone else. They have to figure out how to function in spite of that they're going through. And maybe it's helpful for Stephanie to share her struggles - not just for those who watch and relate, but for her as well. 

[film noire]

18 hours ago, ghoulina said:

There's this vibe Kary is putting off that I can't quite put my finger on. Judgy? Know-it-all? Preachy? Controlling?

Yes to all of that.

Kary's also casually invasive (who the fuck asks a woman about what she did with her womb? In this culture, where a woman's body - and her choices about her body - exist somewhere between a minefield and a fantasy of perfect womanhood, who the fuck asks that? For all Kary knew, LeeAnne's journey could have spanned everything from miscarriage to a dangerous ectopic pregnancy to infertility - but there Kary is,  throwing out a deeply intimate probe over dinner like no big damn deal - pass the salt and why no kids, biatch?)

And yes, LeeAnne is carny-crazy (One of us! One of us! Gooba Gabba, one of us!) but as raw as her immediate rage-response was, I  understand the insta-defcon parry. Because it isn't a benign  question; it's deserving of contempt and a hard push back. The often difficult and lonely things women endure in pursuit of pregnancy - or avoidance of the same - could fill several worlds and still not be fully told.  So don't ask about a woman's womb  expecting to not have your head bitten off. 

Edited September 30, 2019 by film noire

[RealHousewife]

8 hours ago, film noire said:

Yes to all of that.

Kary's also casually invasive (who the fuck asks a woman about what she did with her womb? In this culture, where a woman's body - and her choices about her body - exist somewhere between a minefield and a fantasy of perfect womanhood, who the fuck asks that? For all Kary knew, LeeAnne's journey could have spanned everything from miscarriage to a dangerous ectopic pregnancy to infertility - but there Kary is,  throwing out a deeply intimate probe over dinner like no big damn deal - pass the salt and why no kids, biatch?)

And yes, LeeAnne is carny-crazy (One of us! One of us! Gooba Gabba, one of us!) but as raw as her immediate rage-response was, I  understand the insta-defcon parry. Because it isn't a benign  question; it's deserving of contempt and a hard push back. The often difficult and lonely things women endure in pursuit of pregnancy - or avoidance of the same - could fill several worlds and still not be fully told.  So don't ask about a woman's womb  expecting to not have your head bitten off. 

👏 Bravo Film Noire.

[Juliegirlj]

I think Kam’s pearl clutching has more to do with following the Westcott code... Her Mother in law seems pretty controlling and judgmental. 

Brandi crying with Stephanie was really sweet. Brandi is Stephanie’s safe place when they are away from home. That being said, as much as I enjoy Steph, I don’t think being part of this show is very healthy for her. 

The best part of this episode is knowing how absolutely mortified D’Andra will be when she sees it 😂!!!! 

[Jel]

I think Kam really does think Brandi is "trashy"; and I agree that Brandi, while not "trash" herself, does act trashy at times. I remember Brandi chasing Kam around a pool with a dildo and then acting like there was something wrong with Kam for being offended. So, Brandi doesn't want to be called trashy and Kam probably doesn't want to be told she has a stick up her ass. There's plenty of hypocrisy and double standards to go around in this group. And vulgarity does not equal realness. Be as vulgar as you like, but don't mistake it for some kind of integrity or something for crying out loud.

I love Kam's sense of humor. It's a little dry and subtly self-deprecating. Just my cup of tea.  And if not finding being chased around a pool with a dildo funny means you have a stick up your ass, then I guess I have one up mine too. One (very rigid) high five to you, Kam.

The "if you match your underwear to your outfit, then we have a good chance to be friends, a very good chance" was the laugh out loud line of the episode for me.

[Sweet-tea]

On 9/28/2019 at 1:22 AM, MrsWitter said:

Nobody has posted it yet (I think), but I’m going to assert that Brandi’s “go suck a dick” really fell short of the Kristen Doute standard. Kristen’s brevity, her dismissive turn, her cigarette, and the fact that she said it to her boss... Brandi’s rendition  just fell a little flat in comparison.

I thought it was disgusting. Sometimes I’m surprised at what can be said on television. I also didnt like Brandi acting like a victim. What she said was trashy. 

[MrsWitter]

7 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

I thought it was disgusting. Sometimes I’m surprised at what can be said on television. I also didnt like Brandi acting like a victim. What she said was trashy. 

Yes, of course it was. So was what Kristen said on VR. But most of the people on these shows are trashy to a degree (including the ever-imperious Kameron Wescott). Kameron acting above it all is exhausting. She’s been on the show for three seasons now. Even if she’s a Westcott, she’s still seeking fame on a trashy reality show.

[nexxie]

Stephanie and Kam made me laugh with some of their talking head quips.

Plus, I’d love to do the giant bowl!

Edited October 2, 2019 by nexxie

[RealHousewife]

17 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

I thought it was disgusting. Sometimes I’m surprised at what can be said on television. I also didnt like Brandi acting like a victim. What she said was trashy. 

I agree. I’m amazed the bar is set so low to be considered classy on these shows. I notice this on RHoBH too. 

[RedheadZombie]

On ‎9‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 1:36 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

Here's my unpopular opinion:  Stephanie makes me increasingly more uncomfortable. When she said she was triggered by Leanne this episode, I was like, wowww, that's heavy depression.  Not good in a foreign country.  She's talking about her depression more and more, yet it seems she's doing that hysterical laughing jag more and more maybe...to compensate?  It's just jarring to me, in light of my own experience.

Just because this wasn't featured on the episode, I'll put it in spoiler tags, but it's just something that wasn't said on the show:  

  Hide contents

Stephanie was the guest on Watch What Happens Live last night, and she was acting manic.  Her eyes looked...dilated.  She was talking really fast, and she was saying stupid shit about how Kameron calling Brandi "trash" (which, again, she didn't do) was "the worst" thing you can call someone, and it was a huge turn-off to me.  She was saying the show was good for her depression, which sounds crazy to me.

If Stephanie is that concerned about her mental health, maybe...don't drink on antidepressants, which she admitted she was doing on the episode?  

Maybe...if you're going to be "triggered" by someone else's talk of their mental health struggles, it's time to step away from reality TV for a season or two?

I don't think she should have a life coach.  She should have a board-certified behavior-based psychologist with a Ph.D, in addition to the psychiatrist she's likely seeing for her anti-depression meds (some other doctors, like ob-gyns, can prescribe anti-depressants, so it's not clear that she has a psychiatrist, and if she doesn't, she should get one).

And, just from a personal perspective--I'm not one to air my dirty laundry--but I have dealt with depression and anxiety in my own life, and I think Stephanie is correct that if she's going about her life and her job in a depressed mood, damn straight there are going to be people who will not be there for that.  Everyone can say they're going to stick around for her depressed moods, but I'll only believe it once I see it.   It's not how I want the world to be, but it's how I believe the world is.  I am very unhappy at my job.  My profession has a high suicide, substance abuse and depression rate, and every day I strap a smile on and I go about life like there isn't a care in the world.  It's social graces, it's a fake face, it's whatever you want to call it, but I save my personal problems basically for my husband, and some just for me, because honestly?  Depression is boring.  No one wants to say it, but it's true.  I wasn't bored last season with the little glimpses into Stephanie's battle with depression, but now that it appears to be her storyline, I'm getting a little like, ok, this is boring and depressing.  And now that we know you're depressed, stop the maniacal laughing--you're scaring the children!  

Now that I think about it, Stephanie mentioned in an earlier episode that so many people were writing to her about their own battles with depression, that she got overwhelmed and depressed.  Now that Stephanie knows she's impacting people's lives, I think she has even more of a responsibility to get healthy the right way.  She's one of the few people in this world who has the resources to do it, and if she went away, got real help and came back as a mentally healthy and sound friend-of, that would make a powerful statement to the people who look up to her and her mental health journey.  Right now, I'm not sure she's taking enough responsibility.  She has kids.  They need their mom to be well more than she needs to drink tequila out of a bottle Kary is pouring down her throat in the back of a van.  Just my opinion.

Ok, I just had to get that off my chest, and I'll try to stop complaining about Stephanie's laughing in future episodes.  I know she's popular.  I think she's sweet, but I just don't like her that much.  I like people who have a backbone, because I know how hard I've had to work to form mine.  If she did, in fact, donate bone marrow to a stranger, that earns a huge amount of grudging respect from me.

This post is weeks old, but I get what you're saying about Stephanie.  She's all heart, but I just don't think she thrives in the role of trophy wife.  Isn't she a social worker?  She went to school to help people, yet she lives the life of someone who does little but throw parties in her mansion, and she even has an assistant for that.  I can't imagine living such a superficial life.  Maybe Steph would feel more fulfilled by getting back to her profession.  And I'm not discounting her depression, I've been in a slump for years now.

[LibertarianSlut]

^^ tell me about it, girl friend! "Slump" is the perfect word too. It's almost onomatopoeic.

[ladle]

The combo of Stephanie and Drunk D'Andra is somehow the cutest thing.  "D'Andra, I'd play spin the bottle with you right now."  Hee! 

Also, I'm over New Kary.  (Not sure I was ever "under" her though...)