S09.E15: Finale Reunion

[DrewPaul2010]

h15 hours ago, BunnyAndIvy said:

I was kind of surprised when Keith said “I don’t think I’m ready to have a wife, and I don’t think you’re ready to be a wife.” I 100% agree that Iris is not ready, but I wonder why Keith feels that way about himself. I really adored him this season... even though he wasn’t always the best communicator or always open with his feelings, he just seems like a really good, kind person at the core and would make a great husband to the right woman.

These 2 are so gorgeous and I initially was hoping they would have success. I felt Iris was so strikingly beautiful at the beginning of the show, but as time wore on and we saw more of her personality, her attractiveness really diminished for me.

Also... did anyone see Iris’ new Instagram post... 🙄

I would interpret as he doesn't want 'that wife' not that he doesn't want any wife. I still feel Iris made the virginity an issue. She said if he married her at some point they would have sex...really are you sure? Weren't there some other hoops he had to go through? 

She also couldn't believe his decision was based on more than sex but whenever sex is the issue its invariably the mans issue. Should a man be humiliated or made to feel strange because he desires sex? What exactly is her attitude towards sex? If he went out and had sex with someone after the experiment was over its none of her damn business. Is he supposed to remain celibate because she is? Intimacy such as sleeping together, kissing, talking in a marriage is supposed to lead to sex and I'm sure that's what he meant.  He did make the lack of sexuality an issue you're response was to reject him as in the dice game.

[pdlinda]

18 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Amber is so pitiful.  She shouldn't be a teacher.  Those big ass earrings.

That the parents of Amber's students are OK with her being an "authority figure and guide to healthy adolescence" model that middle school teachers are supposed to be, is beyond my comprehension. 

I am not suggesting Amber lose her job.  I'm simply suggesting they give her some sort of "back room" admin job until the damage she did to her reputation and effectiveness as a teacher from appearing on this show wears off and the dust settles.   

I'm sure Amber has excellent benefits, including mental health benefits.  She would do herself a large favor investing in some good counselling so a relationship debacle like she had with matt doesn't reoccur.  She mentioned she had an $80K salary so if there were any co-pays for long-term treatment that shouldn't be a financial burden on her.

[DrewPaul2010]

14 hours ago, ramble said:

I knew Matt was an ass but good grief if he knew he wasn’t into her why didn’t he attempt to let her know. Yes Amber is needy and a pushover but a decent guy wouldn't have used those things to his advantage. It’s like he saw Puke Luke and not only said hold my beer but handed him an entire six-pack. Ass. 

I still lay the majority of the blame on experts. 99 nice average looking men out of a 100 would adore a woman who falls at their feet. She was the easiest match possible and they still screwed it (and her) up.  

[Ohwell]

3 hours ago, lids said:

To clarify, every single women on the show gets:

-referred to as some kind of slut (even, and sometimes especially, Virgin Iris of the Oral Sex). 

-constantly called crazy and said to be in need of counseling 

-criticized for dress and grooming

-referred to as a liar, gold digger, stalker

I just don’t see this overall messaging with the men.

Well, I did comment on Matt's nasty looking leg tats, and many people commented on Jamie's tight shirts and moobs. 

[ChiMama]

17 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

She lacks self awareness and has no idea how tedious she is with all the “Iris is good, Iris is fine” like it’s some kind of self affirmation she says in a mirror, which on second thought, she probably does. 

Ah, but is it the mirror over the hand washing sink or the teeth brushing sink?

[karenbrady]

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I think she lies. I’ll bet she never had any kind of sex, especially oral.  Just my opinion.

I agree. She lies.

[qtpye]

40 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

Absolutely.  I think Amber is co-dependent.  She is valuing her own self-worth based on how she's treated by a man.  And she has abandonment issues.  She was unhappy with Matt but afraid to be without him and so probably figured she'd rather stay with him and be unhappy but still married because that's some kind of reassurance for her self-worth.  

Whether or not she really has been "having fun" (i.e., going out and hooking up), she clearly wanted Matt to know because she hopes that information will upset and/or devastate Matt.  Unfortunately, Matt high-fived her and is probably thrilled, thinking that hooking up with others means she'll leave him alone.   Basically it's the same as Amber high-fiving Jamie over wanting sex every day.  Again, she wants Matt to hear this in an attempt to show him what he's missing.  

Yeah, it's childish.   But I think it's how Amber knows how to communicate.  How old was she when her mother left?  

I feel sorry for her.  The experts really screwed her over.  Matt was the worst possible person she could have been put with.  As much as I dislike Matt, I'm not going to fault him for not feeling it with Amber but he has zero compassion for her and what his indifference did to her.  He reacts like a teen - --if he ignores it, it will go away or doesn't exist.  

Based on the links, it seems like Matt had already been matched up to someone on a dating app when he got chosen for MAFS.  The decent thing for him to have done would have been to bow out of MAFS if he met this other person and felt something with her.  I have no idea what their contracts are like but it surely seems like the show could sue for whatever they paid him or decline to pay him.  

And if Matt "knew" 15 minutes in, why on earth didn't he speak to one of the "experts" about it??  Again, acting like a teen instead of a grown ass man.  

The "experts" did a stellar job, pairing two emotional adolescents together.  They shouldn't have been shocked that it blew up in such spectacular fashion.   

I'd be willing to bet that Amber equates the frequency of sex with love, affection and acceptance.  I'd also be willing to bet that she thinks by at least projecting that she wants, needs and requires daily sex, that makes her more attractive to the opposite sex.  

I think homeless, unemployed, and double digit IQ Matt just thought he could do much better.

What makes Amber pathetic is not her sincerity but that she is still is begging for shreds of affection. How many people believe that if Matt gave her scrap of affection that she would climb him like a tree and cling to him forever like a howler monkey?

He probably will call her up in the future when he need a place to crash or some money.

[Lacy4u]

1 hour ago, peaceknit said:

It's also a sign of diabetes, the dark velvety skin folds.

But after watching the rest of the episode I also realized her foundation is like three shades too light for her so it makes her neck appear darker than it really is. Actually, I've noticed that on many females on tv that no matter the hue of their skin, the foundation is a couple (or more) shades off. So glad I seldom wear makeup but when I do it's only mascara, lip gloss & eyeliner. 

[DrewPaul2010]

I believe Keith didn't want to get into the gutter with her but at the same time he didn't want to send any mixed signals...he's not interested in dating her. He has to stop doing anything that gives her the slightest indication he is interested. She had eight weeks to show her man she loved him...and yes that includes sex. Is sex love? No but it shows love and it communicates love and its how male and females bond and even produce children. Iris thinks its a prize...Yes eight weeks was plenty of time for him to decide if this is who he wants to be with. It doesn't do Iris any good to blame him.  She needs to ask herself why didn't this man who wanted to be married not want 'Iris' to be his wife? He was far more of a gentleman than I would have been. I would have pressed the issue sooner if I were him. I would have made it unambiguously clear that for it to be a marriage there has to be sexual intimacy. Also I wouldn't sleep in the same bed. She must have made it clear lights out nothing happening in here tonight. 

Jamie and Beth. Hard to say. They are so explosive but also so attracted. Jamie should have told the host enough after he badgered her. He could have delivered that dead pan that's enough move on. Odds are they won't last but who knows? I didn't think they'd agree to marry or would still be together.

[DrewPaul2010]

I believe Matt could have Amber back if he wanted her...that's really sad.

[Auntie]

31 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I believe Matt could have Amber back if he wanted her...that's really sad.

True. Amber just wants to have sex with a man, any man, she doesn't care. She equates having sex to being in love. That girl is so damaged it's pathetic. I don't know how any of these people can show their faces in their hometown anymore....

[Lily247]

7 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

But Iris now proudly wears the title of divorced virgin!!!

A gently used divorced virgin 

[Soup333]

Hold up. Have we not talked about Amber’s studio apartment. On a 80k salary? So is she following Dave Ramsey? Is housing that expensive in Charlotte?

[red12]

I haven't seen it mentioned and apologies if I missed it but, did anyone notice Jamie's expression when asked if he would have thought being matched with a virgin was a problem? He's totally the guy in high school telling everybody how he "scored" in an 80's coming of age movie. 

[After7Only]

19 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Gregg doesn’t look like he has the balls to ever leave her.  He looks whipped.  He’ll take the abuse and kiss her ass.  Why?  I have no idea.

Deonna is a pretty good catch actually.  She's attractive and fit, adventurous, successful in her career, open and intelligent.  She has a dry sense of humor, but so does Greg and a lot of their banter was very fun and teasing towards each other.  Greg could do much worse.  Of the 4 ladies, Deonna was probably the most prepared for a committed relationship.

18 hours ago, BunnyAndIvy said:

I was kind of surprised when Keith said “I don’t think I’m ready to have a wife, and I don’t think you’re ready to be a wife.” I 100% agree that Iris is not ready, but I wonder why Keith feels that way about himself. I really adored him this season... even though he wasn’t always the best communicator or always open with his feelings, he just seems like a really good, kind person at the core and would make a great husband to the right woman.

I think Keith a pretty decent dude (not perfect at all).  He may have thought that a man ready to be a husband will try to work with his wife to overcome obstacles.   Keith from what we saw  did not really try to make the relationship work.   Yes he participated in the activities, and treated her politely, but he didn't really communicate what he needed from her, or that some of her behaviors (like condom gate) were unacceptable.   Therefore the fact that he couldn't communicate his needs to Iris or just figured it wasn't worth the effort to help Iris mature,  he took that as his failure as a husband

10 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Hold up. Have we not talked about Amber’s studio apartment. On a 80k salary? So is she following Dave Ramsey? Is housing that expensive in Charlotte?

I kinda wondered the same.  But if she's staying in a trendy part of Charlotte, rents on a studio apartment can be fairly pricey.  And she seems like the type that wants to be near the nightlife.   

[Liberty]

If Matt demonstrates he was all about the money by sticking with MAFS until payday, why not take some of Amber's imaginary $80K salary?

Middle school student raises hand in class and says "Ms. Bowles, are you cranky today because you didn't have sex last night?  Class is more fun when you have sex every night".

[sometimesjennifer]

13 minutes ago, After7Only said:

Deonna is a pretty good catch actually.  She's attractive and fit, adventurous, successful in her career, open and intelligent.  She has a dry sense of humor, but so does Greg and a lot of their banter was very fun and teasing towards each other.  Greg could do much worse.  Of the 4 ladies, Deonna was probably the most prepared for a committed relationship.

Well said. You are cordially invited to join our small delegation in the Deonna Appreciation Lounge. We have snacks and fluffy doggies (downstairs only). 😜

[gonecrackers]

40 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Hold up. Have we not talked about Amber’s studio apartment. On a 80k salary? So is she following Dave Ramsey? Is housing that expensive in Charlotte?

My friend the SPED teacher with tons more experience & a masters degree doesn't make anywhere near that. Amber must have one hell of a side hustle. She tried sex & money to get some schmuck she idolized for no good reason to love her- pitiful.

While I'm at it even though I despise Matt, Amber was no prize in other ways.  She did have an authoritative air about her - the bathroom scene comes to mind - shows up out of nowhere: "What are you doing?" in a mommy caught you tone- & I believe her arms were folded at the time. She has an obnoxious personality, period.

On another note, Matt & Jamie can go off somewhere alone as I can't stand either one of them; both are nasty, cruel, unfeeling robot 'men'.

[qtpye]

46 minutes ago, Liberty said:

If Matt demonstrates he was all about the money by sticking with MAFS until payday, why not take some of Amber's imaginary $80K salary?

Middle school student raises hand in class and says "Ms. Bowles, are you cranky today because you didn't have sex last night?  Class is more fun when you have sex every night".

Matt probably thinks he could score a sugar mama that makes more.

[thatsall]

1 hour ago, sometimesjennifer said:

Well said. You are cordially invited to join our small delegation in the Deonna Appreciation Lounge. We have snacks and fluffy doggies (downstairs only). 😜

I'll force myself upon the group as its newest member. I was always Team Deonna. I completely understand her need to take things slow and steady. I also understand her aversion to the compliment buffet, which is very different than an occasional, specific compliment. Even if the jackhammer compliments are meant sincerely, to some that style comes off as insincere; certain types do that specifically to ingratiate themselves with people, and the recipients often eat it up without realizing it's completely insincere and a means to an end. Anyway. Sincere, specific, intermittent compliments are lovely and appreciated. Runaway, random, blow-smoke-up-your-a$$ compliments make most intelligent recipients uncomfortable and you'll immediately be viewed with suspicion. I doubt Greg was being manipulative, just going with this idea that women like to be complimented...which is true for most women, but Deonna isn't most women, in the best of ways.

[retired watcher]

I really liked it when Deonna said she based her decision based on their time off camera. That is a mature way of deciding to stay married since the camera will be gone.

[OnTime]

6 hours ago, pdlinda said:

I'm sure Amber has excellent benefits, including mental health benefits.  She would do herself a large favor investing in some good counselling so a relationship debacle like she had with matt doesn't reoccur.  She mentioned she had an $80K salary so if there were any co-pays for long-term treatment that shouldn't be a financial burden on her.

Still not believing teacher Amber makes $80k. Someone posted a link to teacher's pay at her school and it wasn't near $80k.

Edited September 20, 2019 by OnTime

[Neurochick]

22 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

Wow @ Deonna’s remark. Can she make it anymore obvious that had to lower her standards or expectations and “settle” for Greg? Geez. She can’t help poking holes in his spirit and being a killjoy.  Greg is the prize, and she doesn’t deserve him. She doesn’t seem to appreciate him or the fact that of every man on that stage, he was the most prepared and most committed. I was trying to root for them, but I really believe he’s not her type and she’s not truly attracted to him. Her type was the emotionally unavailable and let’s be in a situationship type of f-boys.

I have to disagree.  When Deonna said that she was looking at AMBER.  And at that she was correct.

I think some don't get Deonna, but I do.  She probably REALLY loves Greg, but she'll never show it to us, the public, but she'll be ride or die for Greg and that's what matters, not what we see.

Iris came off ugly inside and out, with that dead yak on top of her head.  She came across thirsty, "Why didn't you want me Keith, I did everything you told me to do, WHY DIDN"T YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME KEITH!"  Sometimes people just can't make it together, sometimes there is no reason.  Move on Iris, at least Keith didn't pump and dump you like Luke and Matt.

Iris reminds me of grown women I know who are very immature, because their parents filled their heads with a lot of bullshit, to keep them in line and off the streets.  The problem is that they still believe that nonsense, decades later.  I mean I knew a woman who never got her ears pierced because her father told her "only strippers and Gypsies get their ears pierced."  

Amber needs therapy, badly.  Who cares if Matt hates her?  Matt came on the show for a paycheck, pure and simple.  If he knew 15 minutes in that he wasn't into Amber, then he should have bailed before sleeping with her.  

I think Jamie and Beth are heading to California in pursuit of reality show fame, who knows, they could get their own TV show on WEtv or something.  

[Elizzikra]

Quote

THIS!  And... I couldn't believe it when Iris said she wanted to get rid of her virginity with this husband here, and Keith about fell out of his chair in shock.  Iris had never been like that or probably even in discussions close to that during the 8 weeks.

For Heaven's sake -Iris wouldn't even let her husband touch her boob. I can't blame Keith for not wanting to be in a sexless marriage, particularly with no reason to expect that it was going to change any time soon. Honestly I think that Iris is a living, breathing Precious Moments figurine. She has a completely naive and idealized concept of love and sex. I doubt she has ever done anything sexual beyond a closed-mouth kiss, immediately after which she rinsed thoroughly with Listerine in the tooth-brushing sink and gave herself third-person voiced affirmations in the mirror.

Quote

Well said. You are cordially invited to join our small delegation in the Deonna Appreciation Lounge. We have snacks and fluffy doggies (downstairs only). 😜

I'd like to apply for membership too. I will bring multiple fluffy dogs and I'm an excellent baker so snacks are on me. I think she and Greg are a good match and I have a lot of hope for them.

Quote

If he knew 15 minutes in that he wasn't into Amber, then he should have bailed before sleeping with her.

But see -isn't this the whole point of the show? When you're dating, you decide really quickly whether or not you're a good match with someone - sometimes within the first 15 minutes; sometimes after the first date; sometimes later. But you never really know if you might have missed out on someone great that might truly be compatible with you because you turned them down in the first 15 minutes. By having people get married at first sight and having this 8 week "experiment" the idea is that you are matched by "experts" with someone who is a truly compatible mate and you're given 8 weeks in which to see if a stronger connection grows - when you don't have that "out" available to you. If Matt -and the show -maintained any fidelity to the so-called "experiment" it's really not relevant that his initial interpretation was that Amber was not someone that he was interested in marrying. The whole idea was that he was supposed to give the marriage his all and see if something deeper grew. 

I wish someone had asked Matt why he couldn't do that. Was he seriously incapable of not having sex with other women for 8 weeks? Was he too stupid to understand that this was what he was signing up for when he agreed to be on this show? Too lazy to follow through?

The whole time he was sitting there, I just kept thinking, "who are you to be so angry?" He behaved horribly throughout the entire show and then he had the nerve to look pissed off when he was (gently, in my opinion) called out for his bad behavior. He's a horrible excuse for a man.

Edited September 20, 2019 by Elizzikra

[watchingtvaddict]

1 hour ago, retired watcher said:

I really liked it when Deonna said she based her decision based on their time off camera. That is a mature way of deciding to stay married since the camera will be gone.

I loved when she mentioned they found the transition to no cameras difficult, too. As they then had to plan their own activities and had a lot more free time to just be together. She was so thoughtful and reflective and I am glad she acknowledged having a camera crew in their relationship did change their dynamic. 

I think both Deonna and Greg did a lot of work before getting married to help them be the best partner to their unknown other half. 

[Mazzy]

I haven't read the comments yet, and I'm just now starting to watch this episode but right out of the gate - Iris is SO full of it!!! Saying she "eventually" wanted to have sex with her husband and asking why her virginity was such an issue for KEITH!! What??! She couldn't go four words without mentioning it! For the dice roll game when she got 'kiss anywhere' she kissed his shoulder!! She needs to get her crap together!

[StatisticalOutlier]

23 hours ago, endure said:

I thought it was funny the host asked Deonna & Greg about kids but didn't go anywhere near that subject with Beth & Jamie.

They'd both said on the show that they didn't want to have kids, so I'm happy he didn't go anywhere near that subject with them. 

.

23 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I disliked her the minute she snooped in his nightstand and found the condoms and hit the roof.  It was none of her business what he did before they married.  Then, the lemonade put me over the edge.  She’s a spoiled blabbermouth childish pain in the ass.  Good for Keith.  He didn’t give in to her tonight.  All she has is looks.  That’s it.

She doesn't even have looks, to me.  Her face is somehow super pointy, and the way she talks with her pointy hands drives me crazy.

.

11 hours ago, Liberty said:

Sadly Amber reported she had not found Mr. Right in the two months since Decision Day.

What 27 year old divorcee would expect finding Mr. or Mrs. right may take longer than 2 months?

When was decision day?  In North Carolina, you can't get a divorce until you've been separated for one year. 

.

8 hours ago, forevertwentynine said:

See, that's what I think as well.  The way she acts when sex is talked about, or she's even brushed up against, there is no way someone has gotten even remotely naked around her. 

I don't know...if we're talking a blow job here, is just having your dick out of your pants considered to be "remotely naked"?

5 hours ago, karenbrady said:

Quote

I think she lies. I’ll bet she never had any kind of sex, especially oral.  Just my opinion.

I agree. She lies.

Jesus, I'm old.  I just can't fathom lying about having oral sex when you haven't.

[spunky]

I’m starting to believe Keith just did this for the exposure. All he did was talk in circles and did not give a definitive answer as to why he wants a divorce. There’s a man out there who will sweep Iris off her feet and appreciate her for who she is. Matt just needs to admit that he got married at first sight so that he could have a warm bed to sleep in for a few weeks. I had a feeling that Greg and Deonna kept their deep conversations off camera, which is why this experience worked for them. Jamie and Beth seem to be doing better.

[Mazzy]

Okay, the summary:

Iris is full of shit. Keith really dodged a bullet there!

Amber is a nut, and while Matt certainly was an asshole for staying out all night, it's more than clear that that crusty nutbar would literally fall into his arms right this minute if he said he was into it. She kept saying it felt like they were parting as enemies even though he kept saying he was happy for her that she was doing well (even though she had that crazy girl way of saying she was doing well) and she just kept yelling about how he hated her. I can't believe Amber is such a nut that she actually made me feel sorry for and happy for Matt that he was no longer with that crazed velcro strip.

It doesn't surprise me at all that Red wasn't into it as soon as the cameras were off. Big shocker there. Apparently she has a side hustle as Captain Obvious. And regardless of that final outcome they claimed, her body language had her legs crossed away from him and her body leaning away from him and very clearly if she isn't in the spotlight she isn't interested in anything.

PS - when all the couples were on stage together, the body language was so telling. Amber and Matt literlaly leaning as far apart as possible, Red still making herself as apart from Jamie as possible, Greg and Deonna cuddled together, and Iris practically sitting in Keith's lap with half a person's worth of room on her other side of the couch.

And last - Matt looked like a ridiculous pouting baby at the end there, BUT at the same time maybe he felt like everyone was just pushing him to say he wanted to be with Amber because honestly that's a little bit what it seemed like to me, like everyone wanted him to be like "I lost this really good thing" when instead he said flat out he knew immediately that he wasn't into it. I'm not saying that's okay to string her along, but I'm also not going to pretend that his penance is somehow to pretend he lost the best thing he could ever have because clearly she's a nutbar and he's better off without her.

[OnTime]

I watched "Couples Couch" for the reunion show. Why??? I don't know.

As all the episodes are watched on the same day, couldn't Danielle have gotten her makeup done?

She looked winded by the reunion show.

[Kiss my mutt]

I can’t imagine any employer offering Beth a job if they see this show and even then she is unmanageable. 

[LuvMyShows]

8 hours ago, DocTerv said:

I'm going to sit by sometimesjennifer the other people who rooted for Deonna and Greg and so we can clap and cheer that we were right. I think D/G did their work and grew together quietly off camera. I think they share a very dry sense of humor that may not be obvious to outsiders but the two of them get each other. 

With so much in the world that is so sh*tty right now, I'll admit I cried when they said they were staying together, and I'm tearing up now as I type it.  They just seem like two decent people who deserve a shot at happiness, and we could all use a little more happiness right now.  I really really hope they make it!

[Rae Spellman]

18 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think Deonna sometimes suffers from not being able to express herself in such a way as to give the right impression.  I agree with others that have said she just meant to keep an open mind to the person and the process.  But yeah, even if she meant that, that's easy for her to say having hit the jackpot.  Lots of people go into this with open minds and get stuck with a real asshole.

Agreed. On Deonna's season of MAFS, only 25% of the women were matched with a Greg-like guy. So, clearly women applying for this show shouldn't expect to get paired with some dream guy who is also seemingly very, very into them. 

13 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Does anyone on here think maybe no guy wanted to have sex with Iris?  She may look great and sexy, but once you have a conversation with her, you get turned off.  

Not really. Matt was turned off 15 minutes in and proceeded to have plenty of sex with Amber. 

7 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

And if Matt "knew" 15 minutes in, why on earth didn't he speak to one of the "experts" about it??  Again, acting like a teen instead of a grown ass man.  

While I don't condone Matt's behavior I certainly understand it.  Amber acted like a groupie 15 minutes in, so he treated her accordingly. Future cast members might do well to view Amber as a cautionary tale.

1 hour ago, OnTime said:

Still not believing teacher Amber makes $80k. Someone posted a link to teacher's pay at her school and it wasn't near $80k.

Even here in Jaime and Beth's future region, a 27 year old teacher would make something more along the lines of $60-70k. That said, a decade or so ago, a couple of my peers supplemented their income by charging $50+/hour for private tutoring. 

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

I have to disagree.  When Deonna said that she was looking at AMBER.  And at that she was correct.

Indeed. Deonna being matched with Greg doesn't negate the fact that most women who apply for this show will not be matched with a great or even okay guy. 

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, watchingtvaddict said:

Amber and Matt could not be sat further apart. No explanation needed.

He actually looked uncomfortable most of the time like he was only there to fulfill his contract.  And at the end Kevin was expecting him to answer something and he was zoned out in another dimension somewhere and unresponsive.  When Amber was talking at times he just sat there like he didn't give two shits.

11 hours ago, sometimesjennifer said:

Anyway, I am not looking forward to next season with 5 couples. I wonder if that will be the season that finally pushes me away. I can waste my time watching the psychos on 90 Day Fiance instead 😝

I know, I'm not looking forward to this either.  I'm basically semi-retired but even I don't have that kind of time to waste on this show.  I watch some other reality shows that have continued to get longer and have more episodes until the audience gets over-saturated with it and begins to tune out.  I don't have room for yet another 2 hour show every week.  It's overkill.

11 hours ago, lids said:

The whole Keith situation kind of reminds me of when David (of Dave and Ashley) were on. Ashley couldn’t stand David and everyone (except a few of us here) kept saying that Dave was this great guy and any woman would be happy to have him. Then the news came out that David had a DV arrest. Then he did a spin off show and came off like the jerk he is. The fact is, we don’t know these people. They try to put an image forward but I can never bash one member of the couple in comparison to the other because we just don’t know what these people are really like. A basic internet search tells me that Keith is an ex-non-pro athlete turned rapper who has a very suspect social media image. Do I really think he’s just this nice guy waiting to find the right woman to get married? Ehhh, I’m skeptical. 

I wouldn't necessarily assume that Keith is another asshole like David.  IMO Keith has done enough things in front of my eyes to make me very much doubt that.  David came off like he was reading from a script about Ashley during his season.  It was simply not believable that he could still be earnestly holding out hope for a relationship with her when she wouldn't even crack a smile or give him the time of day for weeks on end.  I felt like David was just trying to look like he was the good guy that was still invested in his marriage.  I also seem to remember that toward the end of the season Ashley found out he was chatting up one of her friends or work mates - a similar thing to what happened with Matt and Amber.  So he didn't even look all that great before decision day.  Keith on the other hand actually seems to want to do the right thing and even went to his mom to discuss his feelings about Iris with her.  He obviously hesitates to say certain things to Iris in my opinion because he doesn't want to confront and hurt her.  His actions seem to me to be more conscientious than anything else.  He is not a very gregarious or humorous person to begin with but being with Iris probably had a lot to do with him looking like that.  Being with someone that trying is bound to make a person look a lot more closed in than they are normally.  This has happened many times on this show.  So I am not convinced that there's something that bad about Keith.

7 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

I'd be willing to bet that Amber equates mistakes the frequency of sex with for love, affection and acceptance.  I'd also be willing to bet that she thinks by at least projecting that she wants, needs and requires daily sex, that makes her more attractive to the opposite sex. 

Fixed it for you....But otherwise, I agree and was thinking that myself.  I wonder if she were to find a true soulmate that loved and accepted her for who she is, would she suddenly not desire sex so often?  She was trying to get love and emotional intimacy from sex with Matt so she kept going to the well again and again thinking that she would find it.  Too bad the well was dry.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I think some don't get Deonna, but I do.  She probably REALLY loves Greg, but she'll never show it to us, the public, but she'll be ride or die for Greg and that's what matters, not what we see.

I've kidded around about the dynamics of Deonna and Greg's relationship but I agree with you and have never doubted that she does really love him but just doesn't wear her emotions on her sleeve in public and especially not on TV.  In that way she reminds me of Bobby's Danielle.

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Iris came off ugly inside and out, with that dead yak on top of her head.  She came across thirsty, "Why didn't you want me Keith, I did everything you told me to do, WHY DIDN"T YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME KEITH!"  Sometimes people just can't make it together, sometimes there is no reason.  Move on Iris, at least Keith didn't pump and dump you like Luke and Matt.

Very true.  He was actually trying to be a gentleman and not take advantage of her and that's the thanks he gets for it.  I thought it was telling that his answer to her clueless question about whether or not she did all those things was "You did your best", meaning of course that her best still wasn't good enough.  I think Keith doesn't think Iris is capable of a mature relationship and he wants a mature relationship.  That doesn't mean she couldn't meet a similarly inexperienced, immature guy that somehow might click with her, but the point is that in a romantic relationship with Iris, she still wouldn't be capable of relating to Keith as maturely as he needs her to.

[DrewPaul2010]

7 hours ago, Auntie said:

True. Amber just wants to have sex with a man, any man, she doesn't care. She equates having sex to being in love. That girl is so damaged it's pathetic. I don't know how any of these people can show their faces in their hometown anymore....

I wouldn't go that far to suggest she just wants to have sex with a man...that's not difficult to accomplish. She did hope for someone who wanted to be faithful and loyal in marriage...that's fairly reasonable.

[SabineElisabeth]

10 hours ago, lids said:

While Keith’s thoughts are assumed to be more generous and compassionate.

In regards to why Keith would publicly say he doesn’t want marriage right now.

Are the producers pushing a narrative that if the women says something compassionate, they’re falsely modest and if the men say something that can be viewed as negative, they’re only saying it to make the woman feel better? Because I notice across seasons, this is how the men are perceived.

I would love to have some examples of actions taken by production to cause viewers to perceive "negative" comments by men as protective of the woman's feelings and compassionate comments by women as false modesty, as the implication is it's obvious, but I really just don't see it.  I'm also not sure how saying you're not ready for marriage is negative, exactly.  In and of itself, it's just a statement that can be meant (or construed) in a multitude of ways and is no more inherently positive or negative than saying it's 10:30pm on Thursday night, for example.  

10 hours ago, lids said:

To clarify, every single women on the show gets:

-referred to as some kind of slut (even, and sometimes especially, Virgin Iris of the Oral Sex). 

-constantly called crazy and said to be in need of counseling 

-criticized for dress and grooming

-referred to as a liar, gold digger, stalker

I just don’t see this overall messaging with the men.

Common stereotypes about women are quite different than those about men, not to mention all the real differences between women and men;  thus, it only makes sense that taken as a whole, viewer comments about women and men will differ somewhat in content.  And the female stereotypes mentioned above are as old as time, certainly not original thoughts from the MAFS production team. The woman as a hysterical creature (thank you, Freud), the woman shamed as a slut if she's anything but an innocent virgin (who is still expected to please her man in bed, to be clear), the woman as arm candy whose only job is to look pretty (and as a corollary, who must be gold digging, because looking pretty is expensive....  all typical female tropes that have been around forever. And IMHO, rather than intentionally developing a promoting an agenda to denigrate women, I simply see reality tv mirroring current attitudes and ideas.

On a lighter note, Amber seemed pissed off on the reunion show, while Matt was barely trying anymore to contain his disdain for her - both of which will hopefully help her move on.  I only hope she takes to heart that her "marriage" ending wasn't caused by any failure on her part, but by a gigantic failure of the "experts" who, by their own representations, are highly competent professionals uniquely qualified to make matches that result in successful marriages.  If they suck at it this much, Amber shouldn't feel bad about herself at all.

I still maintain Elizabeth and Jamie should not be together, are toxic together, and will not stay together, ultimately.  Hopefully, they too will realize the experts are idiots and will split before they fuck each other up even more than they already are.

[DrewPaul2010]

1 hour ago, RaeSpellman said:

Indeed. Deonna being matched with Greg doesn't negate the fact that most women who apply for this show will not be matched with a great or even okay guy. 

Not sure what you base that on. Seems like there has been an even mix of good and bad regardless of gender. Out of four guys this season Matt was awful (how he was chosen remains a highly guarded secret) but the rest of guys were okay. Jamie is a bit strange but then so is his wife.

Season 9 Luke was the jerk of the season hands down.

AJ wasn't really too bad...I think he remains married. Will was bit of a cold fish.

I think on the basis of looks which initially is very important most couples seem evenly matched. They don't want someone storming out of the wedding in tears because they are repulsed by a person looks. I wonder if Beth mentioned she didn't mind a bald man? She didn't seem to mind.

I wonder if they will pick couples with handicaps like Iris being a virgin. That proved to be a handicap.

[DrewPaul2010]

5 minutes ago, SabineElisabeth said:

To clarify, every single women on the show gets:

-referred to as some kind of slut (even, and sometimes especially, Virgin Iris of the Oral Sex). 

-constantly called crazy and said to be in need of counseling 

-criticized for dress and grooming

-referred to as a liar, gold digger, stalker

Often by other female posters in this forum...

[SabineElisabeth]

13 minutes ago, SabineElisabeth said:

To clarify, every single women on the show gets:

-referred to as some kind of slut (even, and sometimes especially, Virgin Iris of the Oral Sex). 

-constantly called crazy and said to be in need of counseling 

-criticized for dress and grooming

-referred to as a liar, gold digger, stalker

7 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Often by other female posters in this forum...

To be fair, the above quote is misattributed to me;  those are another poster's words that I quoted in my most recent post.  🙂

[LennieBriscoe]

Big Brunette is trying her darnedest. She is working on keeping her cool with critical Jamie, and she has put paid to his asinine "nepotism job" insult by agreeing to the move West. 

Her mini-dress. In 1967 that dress would have been mine. Oh,  wait; I did have it,  complete with Mandarin collar but in white! Those were the days,  my friend....

NOW Iris claims she had wanted to have sexual relations with Keith. Sure, Jan. I think she wants to market her new persona: Iris,  the Divorced Virgin. 

Deonna had better start showing affectionate appreciation of Double-Oven Greg, aka Prince Charming, or she could be looking at another Decade of Drought.

Amber,  cut bait,  girl. While we all watched your Tears for Fears,  Matt sat there mentally composing his car-detailing shopping list. 

All in all, and thanks to you,  mes amis,  this was a most satisfying Season of Snark!

[Rae Spellman]

1 hour ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Not sure what you base that on. Seems like there has been an even mix of good and bad regardless of gender. Out of four guys this season Matt was awful (how he was chosen remains a highly guarded secret) but the rest of guys were okay. Jamie is a bit strange but then so is his wife.

Greg being matched with Deonna doesn't negate the fact that most men who apply for this show will not be matched with a woman that they will say is the answer to their prayers.

Most of the cast members on the seasons I watched didn't think their partner was okay enough to continue past month two.

Edited September 20, 2019 by RaeSpellman
Edited for brevity.

[lids]

1 hour ago, SabineElisabeth said:

I would love to have some examples of actions taken by production to cause viewers to perceive "negative" comments by men as protective of the woman's feelings and compassionate comments by women as false modesty, as the implication is it's obvious, but I really just don't see it. 

I actually don’t think production tries to create negative representations of any of the genders. I was asking posters if they are seeing something negative in the female portrayals because the overwhelming consensus on social media is always that the women are crazy.

Quote

Common stereotypes about women are quite different than those about men, not to mention all the real differences between women and men;  thus, it only makes sense that taken as a whole, viewer comments about women and men will differ somewhat in content.

The comments about men tend to be wayyy more forgiving.

Quote

And the female stereotypes mentioned above are as old as time, certainly not original thoughts from the MAFS production team. The woman as a hysterical creature (thank you, Freud), the woman shamed as a slut if she's anything but an innocent virgin (who is still expected to please her man in bed, to be clear), the woman as arm candy whose only job is to look pretty (and as a corollary, who must be gold digging, because looking pretty is expensive....  all typical female tropes that have been around forever. And IMHO, rather than intentionally developing a promoting an agenda to denigrate women, I simply see reality tv mirroring current attitudes and ideas.

Yes! Agreed. It’s disheartening to read the comments sometimes because it’s like even in our fantasy (or fake reality) shows, we’re still the whores, crazies and Jezebels. And it’s a mostly female audience that wants it that way. But I understand it’s all done in tongue-n-cheek fun. It’s bizarre to watch women practically tarred and feathered for the most innocuous things though. On Twitter, you would think these women left a kitten in a hot car, not dared to be careless with a delicate man. I know the cast has the option to opt out of Instagram and the other publicity machines if they want to though, so it’s not like they’re helpless victims.

Edited September 20, 2019 by lids

[LennieBriscoe]

So I just read up.

Who amongst these 4 women was called a "slut" by anyone here, let alone Iris?! The word might have been used in its adjectival form to,  perhaps,  describe Elizabeth's decolletage. Judgmental? Heck,  yeah!

"Gold-digger"? I don't recall a poster saying this. Name one man,  this season or another, who had a boatload of Benjamins! Maaaybe Greg. But even if Jeff "Moneybags" Bezos was on the show,  because it's "Married at First Sight," it would be a remarkable feat of clairvoyance for his bride to know that!

Criticism of the women's looks and/or attire? We do it to men,  too,  when warranted....or even when not. It's the nature of watching Reality,  or any other genre,  TV. Geez, I can remember my mother criticizing Rosemary Clooney ca. 1956 on "Your Show of Shows" with "fat ankles"! Men would get routinely called out (not necessarily by my mother) for "bad toupees"!

People size up other people. Maybe I'll patent that insight.

Finally, it might not be wise to assume a gender by board name. J/S.

Adieu, mes amis!

Edited September 20, 2019 by LennieBriscoe

[SabineElisabeth]

57 minutes ago, lids said:

I actually don’t think production tries to create negative representations of any of the genders. I was asking posters if they are seeing something negative in the female portrayals because the overwhelming consensus on social media is always that the women are crazy.

The comments about men tend to be wayyy more forgiving.

Yes! Agreed. It’s disheartening to read the comments sometimes because it’s like even in our fantasy (or fake reality) shows, we’re still the whores, crazies and Jezebels. And it’s a mostly female audience that wants it that way. But I understand it’s all done in tongue-n-cheek fun. It’s bizarre to watch women practically tarred and feathered for the most innocuous things though. On Twitter, you would think these women left a kitten in a hot car, not dared to be careless with a delicate man. I know the cast has the option to opt out of Instagram and the other publicity machines if they want to though, so it’s not like they’re helpless victims.

Because I'm a bad person, I read your comment and immediately got a mental image of Amber and Elizabeth "accidentally" leaving Matt and Jamie locked in a hot car.  Just long enough to see on their faces when the thought forms that maybe, just maybe, they should have treated their spouses with some basic human decency, afterall.  (-;

Edited September 20, 2019 by SabineElisabeth

[watchingtvaddict]

23 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Who amongst these 4 women was called a "slut" by anyone here, let alone Iris?! The word might have been used in its adjectival form to,  perhaps,  describe Elizabeth's decolletage. Judgmental? Heck,  yeah!

People judged both Elizabeth and Amber for sleeping with their husbands too quickly and criticized Iris and Deonna for being prudes. Whilst, the word "slut" was never uttered. The women were judged for jumping into bed too quickly or for not giving up the sex quick enough.

Neither Matt or Jamie were judged for having sex too quickly, although after Matt turned out to be a total a**hole people are criticizing him for sleeping with Amber when he knew he wouldn't stay with her. 

23 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

"Gold-digger"? I don't recall a poster saying this. Name one man,  this season or another, who had a boatload of Benjamins! Maaaybe Greg. But even if Jeff "Moneybags" Bezos was on the show,  because it's "Married at First Sight," it would be a remarkable feat of clairvoyance for his bride to know that!

Once again no one is actually saying the word gold-digger but people were saying Deonna was only going to stay with Greg because he has two ovens in his home. And people are saying Beth is only staying with Jamie for his money.

[SabineElisabeth]

2 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Often by other female posters in this forum...

2 hours ago, lids said:

It’s disheartening to read the comments sometimes because it’s like even in our fantasy (or fake reality) shows, we’re still the whores, crazies and Jezebels. And it’s a mostly female audience that wants it that way. 

The psychology behind why women tend to be much harder on other women is interesting - and voluminous. Generally speaking women feel as though they're in competition with other women. And because most people evaluate self worth relative to others, not based on an objective standard, one way to move ahead, then, is to find faulr with your competitors.  Because women don't feel in competition with men in that same way, it's much easier for women to give men the benefit of the doubt for the same things for which they'd rip other women apart.  Anyway, there's more to it than that, but it's interesting to ponder what it would look like if women are able at some point to collectively move past the competition etc. and direct those same resources to sincerely encouraging and supporting each other, instead. 

ETA: I think women unconsciously being harder on each other is significantly different than anyone - production, viewers, etc - having an intentionally developed and implemented misogynistic agenda. I And as I've said before, it seems to me that for whatever reason, we're pretty much equal opportunity snarkers here, at least.  (-:

Edited September 20, 2019 by SabineElisabeth

[ladyscorpio]

19 hours ago, Lily247 said:

Am I the only one who doesnt like Deonna and Greg ? It makes my stomach turn watching him grovel for her, putting up with allergies, eating bugs, her rudeness ("Dont have high expectations") and her queen attitude to him. Will we EVER see an example where she sacrifices something for him, or he gets a little dignity or something? 

I also absolutely cannot stand Beth. She may come from a wealthy family, but she isnas trashy as they come. She needs to close her big mouth sometimes. The entitlement is crazy. I think she scored with Jamie - NO OTHER man would put up with her garbage, plus he has a good job and she cant seem to do anything. (Working for daddy doesnt count). I think Jamie is definitely the better half in their marriage and she brings out the worst in him. 

I realized here that I think Keith is really cool and chill. He looked embarrassed to be sitting next to Iris who wouldnt stop yapping with that megaphone voice. 

You are not the only one, Deonna bugs me too. She totally treats Greg like he is beneath her and not worthy of her presence.  She's always getting bugged at him no matter what he does.It's annoying. I don't get where this superior attitude comes from. She's not pretty at all, her and E.T. have the exact same neck  and she's so bitchy to him all the time. I wonder if he will ever get sick of it and leave. Probably not.

[ladyscorpio]

17 hours ago, 2727 said:

I wonder if Iris was ever able to extrapolate from Amber's behavior to her own? They both misinterpreted their spouses' behavior in the same general way.

Iris clearly didn't understand that going through the physical motions of intimacy (lying together, being supportive) does not necessarily translate to real closeness, while Amber assumed that Matt having sex with her, or even holding the most minimal of conversations, must mean he liked her.

It's been 15 years now, but maybe they both need to dig out $1 and pick up a used bookstore copy of He's Just Not That Into You.

LMAO!!!That last paragraph cracked me up!! It is 100% true!!

[ladyscorpio]

16 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

A word about Amber... IMO she's an immature, so not ready for marriage, irritating child (no offense to children). She was passive aggressive & juvenile in her attitude, words, facial expressions, etc.. She made some comment about 'having fun' since decision day in a way that insinuated she's been having lots of sex, & told Jamie she was with him in needing sex every day - inappropriate TMI much?  She strikes me as trying way too hard & seems very emotionally stunted. I didn't see any indication of someone who learned anything from her public humiliation - she just continues to exhibit embarrassing behavior. I can see her being the pump & dump chick, & for those who stick around at all it'll be over when she stops giving up her paychecks. She has a ton of work to do on herself, but at this point she's too wrapped up in Matt's wrongs toward her to see her own issues. 

/Amber rant

ETA: It's sweet she got a cute little rescue dog. Now she just needs to stay away from the other kind of 'dog' & figure herself out.

Agree 100%