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Keywestclubkid

S02.E28: The Mother Of All Surprises

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Tony shocks Angela with alarming news; Cheryl breaks down when Josh's mother makes a shocking accusation; Shane gets grilled by Lacey's best friend; Andrea loses it when Lamondre reveals the truth; tensions flare between Lizzy and Daniel's mother.

 

 

I didn't see a thread for this episode yet so I thought I'd start one 

Tony did not want to be with you Pick up the hint he could get out of the halfway house to see his friends but didn't want to come see you ...girl take your friend up on his offer and date him and leave Tony alone 

Edited by Keywestclubkid
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When you'd rather go back to prison than have sex with Angela. 😂

You know you are white trash when your boyfriend's mother is accusing you of hitting on her husband. But it's a bad move on Cheryl's part to make an enemy of his mother if Josh is staying there.

Why are they still dragging out the Matt/Caitlin drama?

Edited by Armchair Critic
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A few top-of-mind comments (I’m still processing this shit show):

Angela & Donna: unfortunate-looking sisters (though Donna’s advice of “dump his ass” was spot on).

Angela: wake up and smell the prison hooch-he has NO intention of spending any time with you, let alone sleeping with you or marrying you. 

If I were the wedding dress sales lady I would be like “ma’am, please take the dress off before you have a meltdown and your heavy mascara streaks down onto the dress.”

Vincent: Amber isn’t into you, she’s letting you buy her things until her wifey Puppy gets released. Call Angela, she’s got some free time now. 

More snark later! 

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Oh no Lamadre is not getting out, what is that all about?  She had the jerwrey all ready to go!  Cheryl and Josh just disgust me, LMBO about the mom accusing her of wanting to sleep with her husband.  Her sister laughing at her was priceless, the girl is brain dead.  

Surprised Tony even called Angela, it is obvious he really is not into her.  Another idiot, trying on big white wedding gowns like she is a young girl.  She's been around the block about a dozen times.  

This is quite a bunch

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Vince, "It's why I work out"... to lug the bed my fresh out of prison girlfriend, who will never ever touch my peen, is going to sleep in without me.

Edited by Kangatush
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1 minute ago, LucyEth said:

Oh no Lamadre is not getting out, what is that all about?  She had the jerwrey all ready to go!

Omg she cannot pronounce words correctly to save her life! I heard “jury” and was like “oh, jewelry!” 

I think the wigs are squeezing her head too hard and causing her eyes to pop out. 

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 Tony is still right there at the halfway house.  Surely, he could come up with a better story.  If Angela was smart she'd head straight there. 

When is Vince going to wake up and  smell the fact that Amber doesn't want him. In all fairness, knowing how she feels, she should stop accepting his gifts/favor.  This is how people get hurt. 

Edited by Adeejay
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I swear, this is a repeat of when Angela was trying on wedding dresses 2 seasons ago and he called to tell her he was in trouble, and he wasn’t going back to jail!!! First he stood her up at the Trailways bus stop, then told her he was in trouble while she was dreaming of being an all-in-white bride.

Vincent is going to snap at some point soon.

All of these couples are making me uncomfortable. There’s a breaking point coming for each one and the shit is going to hit the fan.

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So thats Cheryl's trying to get along face?  She needs to work on that.

  I'm thinking she might be anorexic because it looks like she has hair clumps missing in the back and I think that anorexics end up losing hair due to poor nutrition. 

Anyways good on Josh's mom for shading Cheryl on abandoning her kids.  And then Cheryl talking about how her standards aren't low as she is driving a man from prison to his mom's house because he has an ankle monitor.  

Daniel is heading back to jail.  I guess he should enjoy a few good days of drinking and drugging before he heads back. 

1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

 Tony is still right there at the halfway house.  Surely, he could have come up with a better story.  If Angela was smart she'd head straight there. 

When is Vince going to wake up end smell the fact that Amber doesn't want him. In all fairness, knowing how she feels, she should stop accepting his gifts/favor.  This is how people get hurt. 

So much this.  He needs to stop trying to buy a relationship/sex and while she had been honest with him the right thing to do would be to not have him spend $700 on a bed if she doesn't like him.

Poor slow vince. 

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Well, well... Cheryl sure SEEMED like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth but look what a beyotch she turned into the minute the Mom showed up!

And poor Andrea!  No LaMondre tomorrow? When's she gonna be traveling to Mexico... Jamaica.....  Peru.... Waking up and wondering where they're going to travel to next on his drugdealin' money.  Dang! I HATE when the drug dealer BF doesn't keep his word!  Especially since he MADE SURE that the UPS guy delivered her flowers every week.

I mean... Hello?  AND I agree that those wigs are too tight and make her eyes bug out.  Either that or she's got Grave's disease.  I always thought though, with Grave's, your eyes STAY bugged out, not just bug in and out at will.

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Oh dear Lord, is Angela really this stupid? She believes his whole "I ran away and I am hiding from the law so you cannot know where I am". He is clearly done with her and trying to get rid of her without telling her she grosses him out. He got her money, he got his steak, he successfully avoided sex with her. 

You guys, I don't know if I am going to make it through this season. These people are just so painfully dumb and boring to boot.

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Okay I was able to watch the whole thing finally. 

Puppy's mom seems like an addict to me. She looks rode hard and put away wet. And she really wants Vince out of the picture. She has made it clear that she thinks Puppy and Amber belong together.

Cheryl is a disrespectful shit. Josh seems too normal for this shit show, and too normal for her. I know he's a criminal, but on the surface, he comes across as a banker or something - no pun intended; he just seems so clean cut in appearance and when he speaks.

I FF through Andrea's scenes. She is just a snooze fest. Same with what's her face and dude with the umbrella tat under his eye to "collect his tears". 

I cannot help but feel pity for Shane. He is too young and naive for this fish-face tramp's nonsense. 

@Drogo, I know I am needy about polls (love them) but I really *need* a poll about what we feel violated by, such as:
-Angela's willingness to spend thousands of dollars on a con but not a dime on her teeth.
-Lacey's fish face and her complete and utter disregard for her children so that she can chase prison dick(s)
-Vince and what kind of comatose state he lives in...because wake up, dude, damn.

So many other things but I'd love to see what else everyone else feels violated by! Can we make this a thing?🙏

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10 hours ago, RealReality said:

So thats Cheryl's trying to get along face?  She needs to work on that.

  I'm thinking she might be anorexic because it looks like she has hair clumps missing in the back and I think that anorexics end up losing hair due to poor nutrition. 

Anyways good on Josh's mom for shading Cheryl on abandoning her kids.  And then Cheryl talking about how her standards aren't low as she is driving a man from prison to his mom's house because he has an ankle monitor.  

Daniel is heading back to jail.  I guess he should enjoy a few good days of drinking and drugging before he heads back. 

So much this.  He needs to stop trying to buy a relationship/sex and while she had been honest with him the right thing to do would be to not have him spend $700 on a bed if she doesn't like him.

Poor slow vince. 

And Amber pointed out he was using a prepaid card to purchase the bed.

My first though was he probably gets some sort of disability benefits (military or other), and mom could be his payee and gives him an "allowance" on a prepaid card.  Not a damned thing wrong with prepaid cards...unless one is pretending they're in some super secret special ops position that cannot be divulged and presumably have excellent wages and solid bank accounts.  

I also was less than shocked when he said he had never been in a "serious" relationship before.  Pssst, Vince...you're still NOT in a serious relationship.  You're just spending money like you are.  

Bless his simple heart.  

17 minutes ago, OoogleEyes said:

"I did not want it to blow up in my face "

Well, it looks like something already blew up in her face with those tragic fillers and lip plumpers.  

Edited by Persnickety1
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8 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

Oh dear Lord, is Angela really this stupid? She believes his whole "I ran away and I am hiding from the law so you cannot know where I am". He is clearly done with her and trying to get rid of her without telling her she grosses him out. He got her money, he got his steak, he successfully avoided sex with her. 

You guys, I don't know if I am going to make it through this season. These people are just so painfully dumb and boring to boot.

Tony might be the winner of the Idiot Olympics in a plethora of idiots to choose from on this show.  He pulled off getting money from Anglea while he was in prision, a ride to the halfway house, a steak dinner, successfully avoided having to jiggy jiggy with her, and then pulling this wacky story out of his ass that Angela apparently swallowed hook, line, and sinker.  

Run, Tony, run!

(And please don't abandon the season...we need all the snark we can get about these chucklefucks!)

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At least it was a cheap mattress from a crap store.  

Tony must really really like basketball.  Aren’t they allowed to play that on the yard?

They postponed Lizzie’s secret.

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11 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

I swear, this is a repeat of when Angela was trying on wedding dresses 2 seasons ago and he called to tell her he was in trouble, and he wasn’t going back to jail!!! First he stood her up at the Trailways bus stop, then told her he was in trouble while she was dreaming of being an all-in-white bride.

I think you're right.  I remember the bus station scene.  I think I remember the wedding dress/phone call scene in a coming attraction for season 2.    There was also that scene of her in a catering hall going over the menu while Tony was on the phone "I'm eatin a saaaalad".    The way they edit these stories is all over the place.

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11 hours ago, RealReality said:

I'm surprised he didn't have a better story!  What kind of criminal mind came up with that nonsensical story "well uhhh, I got off work early and then I was playing basketball and then I got a text to come back and I got a hotel instead because that text to come back let me know I was going back and I'm not going back!  And I can't tell you where I am!

Crackhead diaries v.2

Okay . . . so he WORKS at a hotel for (probably) minimum wage and has no money.  First place I'd suggest she look for him is the hotel where he works!!!  Duh.

Edited by AZChristian
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55 minutes ago, OoogleEyes said:

"I did not want it to blow up in my face "

"We own a bed together " Oh, Vince, bless yer heart

I know the first bed the salesman mentioned was a Tempur-Pedic.  Vince did not buy her a Tempur-Pedic with mattress, box spring, frame and delivery for $700.  

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Soooo many great comments already- you guys are hilarious!

The only reason I don't channel change during Andrea's rubber face is to see what fresh fashion hell she's come up with. That scratchy, lumpy yellow lace top with the white shorts(?) that were so tight across the hips that the pockets stuck out like rudders, and of course the sparkly headband. Also, Lemondre needs to up the ante, her house is kinda pathetic. 

Lizzie seemed sane at the start of this season, but clearly, she has issues. I couldn't even follow that story of how she and Daniel got drunk and then 'they got raided' and then (somebody) was charged with possession ( or something)? But wait! There's more (to come)!

10 hours ago, RealReality said:

I'm thinking she might be anorexic because it looks like she has hair clumps missing in the back

(Cheryl) -I noticed this too, but she doesn't really fit the profile for anorexia. Weaves can create bald spots if they're worn constantly, and since she seems to have been wearing the same dress for days now, that's a possibility.

12 hours ago, Adeejay said:

When is Vince going to wake up and  smell the fact that Amber doesn't want him. In all fairness, knowing how she feels, she should stop accepting his gifts/favor

Amber has said several times that she's a hustler by nature. 

Angela's friend Brenda (ex-jailbird) looks more like her than her sister does.

Yes, Lacey's licking her monstrous lips at the prospect of 2 'bad boys' fighting for her inflated, lumpy ass.

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56 minutes ago, sempervivum said:

Amber has said several times that she's a hustler by nature.

This!

Amber is clearly more interested in rescuing a stray from the animal shelter.

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34 minutes ago, dsteele said:

This!

Amber is clearly more interested in rescuing a stray from the animal shelter.

She already has a puppy...

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Angela really did look gorgeous in her dress. Maybe she can still take her friend up on the offer.

Vince: "I'm all sweaty and gross. Perfect photo op!" Hey as long as it's on a bed. 

Cheryl could have tried a little harder. You get more flies with honey! She can also cry me a river with all her histrionics. Her sister isn't the only one laughing at her. 

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Why were Andrea’s legs all oily???? And why did she sit on her couch with her legs like that?? Her legs weren’t even evenly greasy; they were splotchy greasy.

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Also,  I really don’t like when the people on this show use the term “I caught a charge...”  because it minimizes the fact that they are responsible for their actions.  It’s like they’re saying they caught a cold; it wasn’t their fault. 

It was also really rude for Vincent to roll his sweaty torso and head all over Amber’s new comforter. Gross.

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3 hours ago, Spike said:

They postponed Lizzie’s secret.

I'm fairly certain that we'll still be waiting to hear Lizzie's secret by the time season 8 rolls around.

And maybe I misheard, but didn't Shane explain to Lacey's friend (note to friend: you seem sane and normal...RUN NOW!) that he "took a charge" of malicious wounding but it was because he was "being kind" or something? 

Oh, man. Angela and her friends in that bridal store. I hope the owner de-loused the place after they left. 

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16 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

You know you are white trash when your boyfriend's mother is accusing you of hitting on her husband.

Preach! That whole situation is ridiculous, though I did like the dig Josh's mom made about Cheryl ditching her kids. And Cheryl, your man is a bank robber. You shouldn't have shit to say about standards. I laughed when Cheryl's sister laughed at her. I wouldn't have walked that shit back, either. "Yeah, I'm laughing, because the situation is ridiculous."

From the neck down, Angela looked lovely in her wedding dresses, especially the first one. She is getting played, though.

And WOW, you can tell that Vince has no experience with women, because ... bruh. You are getting taken. This is not a real relationship.

Lacey's friend seems to have sense. Why does she hang out with Lacey? (I cannot STAND Lacey.)

21 minutes ago, Giant Misfit said:

And maybe I misheard, but didn't Shane explain to Lacey's friend (note to friend: you seem sane and normal...RUN NOW!) that he "took a charge" of malicious wounding but it was because he was "being kind" or something? 

He said he caught the charge with "good intentions," and then clarified that he was defending himself as opposed to starting the confrontation. It sounds like he got in a fight and hurt someone. Here's some info on malicious wounding.

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4 hours ago, PityFree said:

Why were Andrea’s legs all oily???? And why did she sit on her couch with her legs like that?? Her legs weren’t even evenly greasy; they were splotchy greasy.

I was mystified by that too.  I think they’re tattoos that have a sheen to them compared to her regular skin, and it reflects as wet/greasy.  Not totally sure though.

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4 hours ago, PityFree said:

Why were Andrea’s legs all oily???? And why did she sit on her couch with her legs like that?? Her legs weren’t even evenly greasy; they were splotchy greasy.

44 minutes ago, DiamondGirl said:

I was mystified by that too.  I think they’re tattoos that have a sheen to them compared to her regular skin, and it reflects as wet/greasy.  Not totally sure though.

I think it was the body paint from the photo shoot. I guess it was industrial strength?

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If anyone still has this on DVR, look at the back of Cheryl’s head. Her hair is missing in clumps, she has bald spots. Add her thinness, this girl has problems. Bigtime.

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9 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I know the first bed the salesman mentioned was a Tempur-Pedic.  Vince did not buy her a Tempur-Pedic with mattress, box spring, frame and delivery for $700.  

 I rewatched this because I was curious and they don’t ever say the brand name Tempur-pedic; they just said “memory foam.”  They bought an off-brand memory foam mattress. 

 Lucky it was cheap since Vincent soaked it in sweat while setting it up. Yuck.

Edited by PityFree · Reason: Fixed typo
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14 minutes ago, PityFree said:

 I rewatch this because I was curious and they don’t ever say the brand name Tempur-pedic; they just said “memory foam.”  They bought an off-brand memory foam mattress. 

 Lucky it was cheap since Vincent soaked it in sweat while setting it up. Yuck.

I keep forgetting there are other brands of memory foam (especially since I have a Tempur-Pedic.  Sort of like Kleenex/tissue.  Thanks.

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9 hours ago, PityFree said:

Why were Andrea’s legs all oily???? And why did she sit on her couch with her legs like that?? Her legs weren’t even evenly greasy; they were splotchy greasy.

Thank you!  I was wondering what was going in with her legs.  Was it left over body paint?

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I think the $40 dollar mattress delivery guy was the winner in this episode!!!  Poor Vince.  Here I thought he was an FBI guy but now I think he's one DUMB guy instead!

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On 9/14/2019 at 3:45 AM, RealReality said:

The level of detail she conjured up to describe the consequences of John and Shane fighting over her and ending.up back in jail let's me know that she cannot wait for it to happen.  

I'd LOVE it if the whole thing blew up in her face and neither man gave a crap when they found out the other.  

This is going to sound ridiculous, and I feel ridiculous writing it, but Shane has a very nice way with people.  He keeps telling Lacey he wants to know more about her, makes friendly (not creepy) eye contact, isn’t smarmy or smug, doesn’t have that career criminal user attitude like Amber, was earnest with her friend—just seems to sort of have good, country manners. I guess what I’m trying to say is, he’s not a Matt, and maybe the difference is that he’s not a methie. 

Still, malicious wounding. 

Nope.

Edited by tvtubebaby · Reason: Was missing necessary words
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On 9/13/2019 at 10:34 PM, goofygirl said:

And poor Andrea!  No LaMondre tomorrow? When's she gonna be traveling to Mexico... Jamaica.....  Peru.... Waking up and wondering where they're going to travel to next on his drugdealin' money. 

I know, right?! And even when he does get out, I don’t know how long parole is or what the rules are, but I’m somehow not seeing Machu Picchu on LaMondre’s Insta anytime soon. Even if he has no stipulations, still not seeing it.

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23 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I know the first bed the salesman mentioned was a Tempur-Pedic.  Vince did not buy her a Tempur-Pedic with mattress, box spring, frame and delivery for $700.  

Vince makes Clint from last season look like a card-carrying Mensa member by comparison.

The dumb is painful with Vince.  The wheel is struggling to turn but the hamster is dead.

Edited by Persnickety1
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11 hours ago, Kangatush said:

I was wondering what was going in with her legs.  Was it left over body paint?

That must be it. I couldn't help thinking it made her look like she was having a bladder control issue. 

Also, people need to understand that tattoos in certain locations invariably look like body hair. Andrea looked like she needed a good shave on her shoulders and the backs of her legs.

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