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Aine: Does Vish ever wee sitting down?
Shona: No. 
Aine: Then I think I just saw him having a poo.
Shona: Oh, no. Was he naked?
Aine: Er, not from the waist up, no.
Shona: Just pretend it never happened.
Aine: Ah, the old family motto.

Vish: I don't want to stay here but I have to because your sister hates houses that have private bathrooms and underfloor heating.

Shona: Aine, this is Charlotte.
Aine: Oh gawd, you do have lovely skin. 
Charlotte: What?
Aine: I could make a soft bag out of that face. 
Charlotte: Should I be scared or flattered?
Shona: With Aine, probably both.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Anil: [Sitting at the kids' table] is demeaning on so many levels.
Vish: If you got a proper job, you could have a spot at the big boys' table.
Anil: I have a proper job at BuzzFeed.
Vish: Oh, Bubs, you know what? When you go to school and study hard you could have a job at BuzzFeed.

Kavita: Even if Anil murdered someone I'd still love him unconditionally.
Hari: And get a spade to dig a grave and cover it up. 
Anil: Why am I a murderer? 
Kavita: Vish'd never murder someone.
Vish: Yeah, I'm a pyro guy.

Hari: I want you to help me choose [the photo] because I always get this wrong. The women always get annoyed when I put their picture on Instagram without editing. All they want is a Valencia filter and no smiling.

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Richard: I know you've got to go, but I can pay you extra.
Aine: Pay me extra? This isn't Pretty Woman.

Chien: What happened to the lamb?
Aine: What's that?
Chien: What happened to the lamb? Mary HAD it. Past tense.
Aine: Good question. Maybe she ate the lamb.
Mo: Mary is psychopath maybe.

James: Aine, do not take your clothes off in front of our students.

Aine: I'm on a date.
Bartender: With yourself? Oh, I like that. That's powerful.
Aine: Yeah, no, it would be powerful actually, but, oh, it's not. I mean, maybe it's not a date. I'm actually having a drink with my ex. He said he was round the corner about an hour ago.
Bartender: Fuck him! You should leave.
Aine: If only it were that simple.
Bartender: It literally is that simple. Treat yourself like a queen.

Aine: "I tried to drown my sorrows, but then the bastards learned how to swim." It's a Frida Kahlo quote. She's my favorite author because her books are mostly pictures.

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Aine: I can't really imagine you being a child. Like, I feel like you came out with a strong, serious jawline and an opinion on Chekhov.

Aine: Can I borrow a cardigan? The thing I'm wearing is just a bit light.
Freddie: Yeah.
Aine: Whose clothes are these? Do you have a girlfriend?
Freddie: No, er, she's away a lot, so we're kind of taking things slow.
Aine: By fucking your ex?

Aine: A man goes mental and all of a sudden he's Bob Dylan with a fucking guitar, but a woman has one more emotion than she should and all of a sudden I'm Lindsay fucking Lohan. And no one wants to go out with Lindsay Lohan even though I'm sure she's a lovely person in real life.

Aine: This is all expensive so if I had to choose between going to therapy and rent, it's like, "Yeah, I'll choose rent, thanks!"
Therapist: And so why come back now?
Aine: I suppose the same reason people spend money on expensive shampoo. At some point they think, "Hmm, maybe I AM worth it."

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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