S09.E12: Bear With Me

[Kimboweena]

Iris, is that you?

Edited August 30, 2019 by Kimboweena

[Jeanne222]

I'm ready for next season!!!

[Rae Spellman]

On 8/28/2019 at 10:02 PM, Yeah No said:

Iris thinks Keith is like douchbag Matt in not liking to talk about feelings.  No, it's just that he doesn't trust her to be able to handle them because of her emotional immaturity.  That's why he told his mother how he really felt and not Iris.

Keith said "I don't know about y'all. But this is the most I've opened up in any relationship this fast. Ever." 

Iris is immature and maybe not a good fit for Keith. And, Keith might not be more expressive or open about his feelings even if he was matched with a woman who was better-adjusted or more sexually mature than Iris.

9 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I think Keith is pulling a Will - just playing nice and riding this out until D-day.

Down to being fairly clear that even if his wife made a move he probably wouldn't flip her switch.

8 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Amber is a teacher. No, she doesn't represent a great female ideal. But every kid who has been bullied, dumped, has parents who can't stand one another, isn't the prettiest or the most popular or has ever felt unloved will probably identify with her and maybe feel a tiny bit less freakish. Iris and Keith both work with young people - does their involvement in this show also bother you? Should the show ban everyone who works with youth or supposed to be a role model for them in some capacity?

Agreed. Surely some subset of the middle schoolers at Amber's school and/or their parents are doing far worse. 

8 hours ago, sometimesjennifer said:

I think he would speak up if it were something that REALLY bothered or upset him. He's trying to be a good sport to try to woo her and prove to her that he's willing to take chances and live in the moment. He married a complete stranger in an effort to find happiness. I feel like eating bugs isn't that big of a deal in comparison, and he probably doesn't either.

Let's hope so.  Also, if Greg, a 33 year old man with supposedly better options is bending to Deonna's will rather than consciously choosing to let her nudge him outside his comfort zone, that's a problem regardless of whether or not he divorces her. It suggests that even post therapy, he doesn't know how to set and maintain boundaries. 

6 hours ago, Farley said:

Deonna needs to step up her game. She keeps asking Greg to step out of his comfort zone and be adventurous.  Well, I think she should reciprocate and step out of hers. Meaning, geez woman, give him some affection, rock his world in the bedroom. The walls and closed off bs is wearing on me, relax and enjoy your great man. 

Someone up thread mentioned seeing glimpses of affection between them. There were moments in that final bedroom seen that led me to believe that they probably had sex that night. They wanted a secluded room. One of them was really, really looking at the other. She did ask him for a kiss after she shut of the lights. 

Jaime mentioned that the guys text each other. Matt called Jaime out when he said he wanted to stay with Beth b/c in the previous week he'd let the guys know that they were "on the verge of breaking up." 

However, Jaime mentioned being envious of Greg and Dee. So, whatever is going on, Greg's communication in their group texts and what Jaime has seen has Jaime thinking things are going well. Thinking more about what Matt and Keith said about their own situations, I wonder if they think Deonna and Greg should stay together.

Edited August 30, 2019 by RaeSpellman

[gingerandcloves]

Recap of next week's preview:

Pastor Cal voiceover: "Next week on Married At First Sight..."

Deonna in a restaurant talking to two other women, "Decision Day is coming up real quick."

Pastor Cal: "With less than a week to go before Decision Day, our couples struggle to decide whether they want to stay married or get a divorce."

Quick clips of all the individuals.

Cut to Amber in bedroom, wrapping her arms around Matt as he's sitting on the edge of the bed;  A talking head: "Going into Decision Day, I have a lot of soul-searching to do, I really don't want to walk away from this marriage..." Cut to A & M in restaurant together. A: "...on paper, we are 100% compatible, so tonight is kind of make or break."

Cut to Iris in apartment, talking to her mother (and I think, sister). Iris' mom, drumming against her leg: "It's drum roll time to see what happens." Iris: "Exactly. Gosh, that's my heartbeat right now too."

Cut to Keith in bar with his mom: "Is Iris my soul mate? Is she the person I can see myself spending the rest of my life with?" Keith's mom nods and raises her eyebrows. Keith: "I'm not really sure yet."

Cut to Greg and Deonna in apartment, Deonna is sitting at a table, bottle of wine and glasses on it. They're both holding pool cues. G: "Alright, question: do you love me?" Deonna looks down at her lap.

Cut to Greg and friend sitting in club chairs somewhere. G: "I like to share my feelings, and she doesn't". Friend: "There's a chance that those things don't change, and if they don't, are you okay with that?" G voiceover: I thought I had a good answer, but now I really start thinking if it's the right decision.

Cut to Jamie and Elizabeth eating on an outside restaurant balcony. J: "I feel like you talk about, like, how much of this, like, sexual being you are, but at the end of the day, you're really not." E blinks her eyes like WHAT. J: "And it's hard for me to deal with." E: "You don't think I'm a sexual being?!" J: "No, no, not in the least." (Ugh, I hate Jamie) E's jaw drops open. E voiceover: What the hell's going on? I'm like questioning everything right now.

Cut to Amber and Raven in papasan chairs. R: "The other night, I was out at a bar, and I saw Matt with another girl..." A is nodding her head and listening. R: "...it didn't look good." Amber's sobbing. 

[Stella Rose]

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

No roots, no home of his own, unemployed, new business just talk not established, estranged from family (even if for good reasons still not a good candidate for this kind of thing)...

I don't think paper does justice to how much Matt was actually a lousy choice. 

It's probably part of her introductions, perhaps in her bio on the company website.

I meant "successful Intentional Basketball player, 6' whatever, etc."  I remember in episode one  his 'credentials' made him sound like a civilized human being. 

From the MAFS website (Pretend you have never seen him in action, heard him speak, and have only seen a photo and read this: "Matthew, 31, is an international basketball player who has been single for more than a year and is looking for someone who can adapt to his schedule. He has a strained relationship with his recently divorced parents, and wants a relationship where his partner is as devoted to athleticism as she is to him."

This is what I meant by on paper he sounds ok.  I stand by my assertion that the "experts" looked no farther than his photo and paper application.

[Delta Blow]

On 8/28/2019 at 6:49 PM, gonecrackers said:

Matt's such a bull shitter.

Amen.

I wanted to like this twice so bad I had to quote it. 

[Jade Foxx]

On 8/28/2019 at 8:52 PM, Ms.C. said:

Also, Iris is a puzzle.  Where’s she been her whole life?  She seems unnatural. Had sex change?  Is that crazy? I’m beginning to wonder.  Very immature and Keith’s checked out. 

Iris needs to re-enroll in 4th grade and take it from there. Arrested development indeed, and I don’t think it’s due to “the only child” syndrome. I get asexual vibes..girl should own it, if that’s the case. 

She is SO fucking annoying, immature, and clueless: and I hope Keith dumps her.  Who could tolerate her, day in and day out??

Physically she’s attractive, but her personality is HEINOUS. 

Just embrace your cat lady life, girlfriend. 

Edited August 31, 2019 by Jade Foxx
Not sure if Iris smells like mothballs, so I take it back

[Kareem]

8 minutes ago, Jade Foxx said:

Iris needs to re-enroll in 4th grade and take it from there. Arrested development indeed, and I don’t think it’s due to “the only child” syndrome. I get asexual vibes..girl should own it, if that’s the case. 

She is SO fucking annoying, immature, and clueless: and I hope Keith dumps her.  Who could tolerate her, day in and day out??

Physically she’s attractive, but her personality is HEINOUS. 

Just embrace your cat lady life, girlfriend. I bet she smells like mothballs 😒

It was so strange when Keith asked her about initiating sex during their game and she appeared so embarrassed and hesitant, yet she casually mentioned oral to Otis on Unfiltered.  If she knows nothing about anyone initiating sex, did her face just fall in someone’s lap, like that alarming experience Angela’s Michael had in Nigeria?  

I was mildly annoyed when Dr. Y’all got on him for elaborating on her answer when they viewed the scene. I thought the problem appeared to be hers.  

As with Greg, these guys have only weeks to determine what forever would look like with these women. They can’t wait around for their third set of teeth to know exactly what they’re getting into.  I get why they’re conflicted.

[Kdawg82]

On 8/28/2019 at 9:24 PM, gonecrackers said:

I just want to vomit listening to Matt.  Can't blame Amber for chugging the booze.

I am WITH you, friend!! 

This guy.... It feels like he watched every season and iteration of this show before signing up. He has their "fill screen time with 'love', 'commitment' & 'challenges' talk" speech down. Holy hell. I wanted to stab my eyes/ ears out listening to that fake / selfish a**hole. "Challenges," Matt!!?? Try coming home one night. Try talking to your "wife" when cameras aren't rolling. Try getting a 9-5 job. Challenged, indeed.  

Amber's friend Raven (who didn't make it on the show to be matched, BTW) is in love with her. Deeply in love. A single Male friend telling you what good you deserve and is confused why you can't find it, is into you. 

All that said- AMBER!!!!! PLEASE!!! Do you teach middle schoolers or they teach you? "My husband is like such a good like kisser. I just love like making out with him." Of course spoken in her best Minnie Mouse voice. 

[Lily247]

8 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

If she works in a faith-based program with tweens and teens, I'm sure her virginty is seen as a great asset and one she should vocally model for the young folk.

I thought his "I don't do that" comment about brushing his teeth might have been sarcasm, since earlier in the episode Amber reminded him to pack a toothbrush (in a very motherly tone).

That we watch a trashy tv show.

See this confuses me because the first part of your post suggests that anything a teacher does anywhere follows her into the classroom but the last sentence suggest that it's not the doing of the behaviors that is a problem but where she does them. I think we both agree that much of what's on the show isn't appropriate for a classroom discussion. So where would we draw the line? Amber is a young woman. Can she go out on a weekend, have a few drinks, dance on a tabletop or two and make out with a hot bartender? Does that behavior follow her into a classroom (assuming that her middle school students aren't hanging out at the neighborhood bar at night)? Or is that ok as long as it's not on social media, where her students might see it? Or is all that ok as long as she doesn't do it on a tv show? Where do we want to draw the line? 

I also want to argue that if it's inappropriate for Amber to be on the show, as a teacher and role model, we also should boot Greg the tutor center owner (which would break my heart); and Iris and Keith who both work in youth programs. I mean, Iris's young charges could see her licking hot pink body paint off Keith's nipples in one episode -most people probably don't consider that wholesome family viewing.

Of all the rotten influences out there on young people today, I just don't think that a middle school english teacher on Married at First Sight who has tattoos and doesn't always speak in grammatically perfect English on said television show is that much of a threat. I think the Youth of America will weather this assault just fine and continue on the path to productive adulthood largely unscathed. That's more than I can say about Amber when her sham marriage finally ends.

I am embarrassed for all of them. As to me, this show is a step above jerry springer. 

I think anyone working with kids should be able to go to bars, drknk, dance, but should behave with decorum when on a national TV show. I think Iris was OK until the edible body glitter; Greg usually behaves in a dignified manner as well. This season of MAFS has for some reason just been trashier than all the previous ones, IIRC. Its the whole "I need sex daily" "My husbands never here but I want him so bad" thing that I fear will make her job very difficult 

[humbleopinion]

Amber chipmunk chattering and Iris bellowing advice on their nature hike should have scared the the bears away for a 50 mile radius....

[Empress1]

12 hours ago, Liberty said:

If she is a teacher her grammar, tattoos, drinking and other behavior follows her into the classroom.  None of those things is bad in itself, but for a teacher to display them to students in or out of the classroom is not appropriate, and some may consider it unprofessional.

I am positive Amber is not the only teacher at her school with tattoos. Hers aren't visible when she's dressed. I'd bet that some of Amber's students' parents have tattoos.

Maybe it's just where I live, but I feel like tattoos are pretty mainstream now. I know people in all professions who have them - in some cases many of them. I was behind a woman at the farmer's market last week who was in shorts and a tank top and she had them all over her body, shoulders to ankles. One of the librarians at the branch of the library I go to most often has an ankle tattoo and she's over 65.

Also, the drinking ... has she ever been drunk on the show? (Though I did laugh when she said "I love alcohol!" this episode.) They've showed her with a drink in her hand, which isn't a big deal - she's grown - but I don't think she's done anything crazy while drinking.

[GenY]

13 hours ago, Liberty said:

That's for sure.  

If she is a teacher her grammar, tattoos, drinking and other behavior follows her into the classroom.  None of those things is bad in itself, but for a teacher to display them to students in or out of the classroom is not appropriate, and some may consider it unprofessional.  The problem may not be that a teacher does these things, but rather where she does them

Great frequently overlooked observation.  What does that say about you and me as viewers?

As a person in the education field in a major city in the U.S. I can attest that Amber’s tattoos holds no bearings in the classroom. According to the teacher’s unions there is no  such thing as a “uniform” or a look for teachers. 

I also want to add that Amber’s student if they do watch the show will commiserate with her and not mock her. And will more than likely agree that Matt is a huge asshole that does not deserve Ms. Amber.

[Lindz]

19 hours ago, Lily247 said:

THANK YOU! neither are ACTUALLY paying attention to what their husbands are telling them, or blatantly hinting to them.

If any guy I have known for a couple of weeks (arranged husband or not!) Says repeatedly that he wants to get away from me, I would think to myself, "I guess he wants to say bye bye. Ok, Bye! ." But these girls take what he say sooooo literally, or twist it to mean what they want, that it's all lost on them. 

NAH. They need to be adults & just SAY IT!! None of that speech bs that says nothing or shitty actions. SAY I don't want to try, I don't like you or how you act, I don't want to be married to you, issa WRAP! SIMPLE!! WHY waste time with the bs??

Edited August 30, 2019 by Lindz

[Lindz]

So. Weeks after their SHAM recommitment, most couples are less committed?? SHOCKING!! 😨😂 Pastor Cal should've  (empty) threatened to end marriages that were toxic or coasty & polite.

[gonecrackers]

10 hours ago, Stella Rose said:

I meant "successful Intentional Basketball player, 6' whatever, etc."  I remember in episode one  his 'credentials' made him sound like a civilized human being. 

From the MAFS website (Pretend you have never seen him in action, heard him speak, and have only seen a photo and read this: "Matthew, 31, is an international basketball player who has been single for more than a year and is looking for someone who can adapt to his schedule. He has a strained relationship with his recently divorced parents, and wants a relationship where his partner is as devoted to athleticism as she is to him."

This is what I meant by on paper he sounds ok.  I stand by my assertion that the "experts" looked no farther than his photo and paper application.

Right, but they're actually supposed to fill out a lot of paperwork on themselves & answer in depth questions from all the 'experts' (cough) - so, they never once found out, even on paper, that he didn't have a permanent address? Didn't have strong family ties? Didn't have an actual job at the moment? etc... there are things even on paper, IF what they say about information gathering is true, that they should've found out prior & used to eliminate him from their options.  But let's say he lied like a rug on all the paperwork - even so, there's all the questioning (supposedly). Nothing weeded this guy out. He either totally misrepresented himself or the 'experts' are matching for drama. IMO in this case it's both.

[Ohwell]

1 hour ago, GenY said:

According to the teacher’s unions there is no  such thing as a “uniform” or a look for teachers. 

Which is kinda sad.  I live down the street from an elementary school and some of the teachers look like they just rolled out of bed and threw something on.  They don't even look like they bothered to shower.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

10 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

Recap of next week's preview:

Pastor Cal voiceover: "Next week on Married At First Sight..."

Deonna in a restaurant talking to two other women, "Decision Day is coming up real quick."

Pastor Cal: "With less than a week to go before Decision Day, our couples struggle to decide whether they want to stay married or get a divorce."

Quick clips of all the individuals.

Cut to Amber in bedroom, wrapping her arms around Matt as he's sitting on the edge of the bed;  A talking head: "Going into Decision Day, I have a lot of soul-searching to do, I really don't want to walk away from this marriage..." Cut to A & M in restaurant together. A: "...on paper, we are 100% compatible, so tonight is kind of make or break."

Cut to Iris in apartment, talking to her mother (and I think, sister). Iris' mom, drumming against her leg: "It's drum roll time to see what happens." Iris: "Exactly. Gosh, that's my heartbeat right now too."

Cut to Keith in bar with his mom: "Is Iris my soul mate? Is she the person I can see myself spending the rest of my life with?" Keith's mom nods and raises her eyebrows. Keith: "I'm not really sure yet."

Cut to Greg and Deonna in apartment, Deonna is sitting at a table, bottle of wine and glasses on it. They're both holding pool cues. G: "Alright, question: do you love me?" Deonna looks down at her lap.

Cut to Greg and friend sitting in club chairs somewhere. G: "I like to share my feelings, and she doesn't". Friend: "There's a chance that those things don't change, and if they don't, are you okay with that?" G voiceover: I thought I had a good answer, but now I really start thinking if it's the right decision.

Cut to Jamie and Elizabeth eating on an outside restaurant balcony. J: "I feel like you talk about, like, how much of this, like, sexual being you are, but at the end of the day, you're really not." E blinks her eyes like WHAT. J: "And it's hard for me to deal with." E: "You don't think I'm a sexual being?!" J: "No, no, not in the least." (Ugh, I hate Jamie) E's jaw drops open. E voiceover: What the hell's going on? I'm like questioning everything right now.

Cut to Amber and Raven in papasan chairs. R: "The other night, I was out at a bar, and I saw Matt with another girl..." A is nodding her head and listening. R: "...it didn't look good." Amber's sobbing. 

GINGERANDCLOVES: I just wanted to thank you for, once again, taking the time to type this out and share it with all of us. You're awesome!

[gonecrackers]

This may come off as harsh, but that's what these boards are for so here I go...

IMO we've seen more of Amber than we ever needed to, & way more than any middle schooler should, particularly ones she teaches. It's not just beach pics, but her tatted up bare ass in their production rented apt, if she had any boobs she would've been on par with Liz on Unfiltered, & they had to fuzz out her lady bits at least once.

Thinking a lot of kids are getting some good laughs & screenshots right now.

Paired with her pathetic behavior, I really don't know how she walks back into a school & faces her co-workers, the kids & their parents.

Regardless of her definitely getting a raw deal for this show, Amber does not behave in a respect worthy manner. She could've handled this like a class act, but that's just not her. She works with kids & like it or not could be held as an example, & IMO she's made a terrible spectacle of herself.

And yes that goes for any others who have gone on this show, past, present (future) seasons included & acted like asses in one way or another.

Edited August 30, 2019 by gonecrackers

[LillysPad]

21 hours ago, retired watcher said:

Amber is delusional. She needs to get with Raven.

They both tried out for the show. Neither one is looking at the person in front of them.

18 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Seeing Raven really made me pissed that these were the guys that got chosen this season. For the love of Anthony D'Amico, why?????? Why, when there is a perfectly attractive and seemingly well adjusted guy available for the show? Or are they only allowed to pick one per season? (Greg being the chosen one this season)........

I think the reason they didn't pick Raven to be in the show was because Amber told Sargent Pepper she knew him. During Sargent Pepper's home visits, Amber's phone rang & when she was asked who was calling, Amber excitedly said "Oh that's my friend Raven. We both applied for the show." (Paraphrasing here.)

[Retired at last]

Yes, I am "old" but I remember the days when you were shocked to actually see one of your teachers in the grocery store! So, while the fact that Amber does have tattoos and does not always speak grammatically correct bothers me, the problem I have with her expressing her very personal feelings and needs so that her middle school students can see them makes me uncomfortable. As a former teacher, I still believe that for many young students, teachers are role models and can provide guidance and motivation for them. Even the other people (Iris, Greg, Keith) who may work with young people have been no where close to as pathetic and needy as Amber has been. As annoying as Iris is, I would rather see someone who is  virgin working with kids than someone desperate for any man exclaim that she needs sex every day. But, I also don't believe that students need to know that much about their teachers and while it has been mentioned that kids don't watch this show, I am sure that Amber's students are this season. I wonder if she is still Mrs. whatever his name is or if she is Ms.? Guessing that since the show has not shown the finale, everyone is still acting like they are still married.

Edited August 30, 2019 by Retired at last

[lids]

19 hours ago, Retired at last said:

Keith is not stupid. He is checked out and I now think maybe even Iris will say no at D-Day. She doesn't understand why, so she will be shocked that he isn't into her, but still, they are a NO.

I HOPE that Amber says no and if it looks like she is told about Matt and another woman, I think she may have the gumption to end it (even tho he will, but I want her to have a little dignity and say no herself).

This is what I think too. I think Amber goes first and says no and then Matt acts all butthurt like he wishes she had said yes, even though we know he was pushing her to dump him all season. It’s gonna be a repeat of Kate and Luke because MAFS loves a ‘You Go Girl’ moment. Also possible that Matt goes first and says yes and Amber then says no, but that’s less likely. It would explain Matt’s bitter attitude toward Amber on Unfiltered though. His whole tirade about her personality sucks smacks of trying to get back at her, like Jasmine would do to Will.

I think Keith is too ‘nice’ to surprise Iris with his decision. I think he works out what he needs to say with his mom and then tells Iris how he feels either on camera or off. I think because of that they both say no and decide to stay friends. The other option, they both say yes and then breakup. In recent pictures of Keith, he looks so sad. And Iris got a total makeover suggesting she’s moving on, so I predict they go their separate ways at some point. The way they speak on Unfiltered is like they coordinated a respectful image of each other (with Iris coming off slightly bitter) so I think whatever happens, they come to an amicable decision somewhere.

I wish we could just see the couples together once on Unfiltered. I would be able to tell by body language whose doing well and who wants to run.

[GenY]

20 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

This may come off as harsh, but that's what these boards are for so here I go...

IMO we've seen more of Amber than we ever needed to, & way more than any middle schooler should, particularly ones she teaches. It's not just beach pics, but her tatted up bare ass in their production rented apt, if she had any boobs she would've been on par with Liz on Unfiltered, & they had to fuzz out her lady bits at least once.

Thinking a lot of kids are getting some good laughs & screenshots right now.

Paired with her pathetic behavior, I really don't know how she walks back into a school & faces her co-workers, the kids & their parents.

Regardless of her definitely getting a raw deal for this show, Amber does not behave in a respect worthy manner. She could've handled this like a class act, but that's just not her. She works with kids & like it or not could be held as an example, & IMO she's made a terrible spectacle of herself.

And yes that goes for any others who have gone on this show, past, present (future) seasons included & acted like asses in one way or another.

In Amber’s defense the footage of her in her panties were on night vision camera. If the show had respect for her they wouldn’t have shown that shit. Who’s actually thinking about a camera filming them at 2:30am while all distraught and stuff. 

Matt is Amber’s husband. Amber has tried her best to hold onto her marriage like any other person would you. 

When a man wants a relationship to work ain’t nothing will stop him including having a needy partner.

Edited August 30, 2019 by GenY
Typo

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Its the whole "I need sex daily"

Quote

exclaim that she needs sex every day.

Is something supposed to be wrong with this? Is it somehow not "classy?" My sex drive isn't that high but it sounds pretty normal to me, particularly for young woman.

If it's only a problem because she is a teacher, I come back to the fact that this is a show about marriage, ergo sex is a reasonable topic. So again, unless you want to exclude all potential role models from the show, this seems more like an indictment of a healthy sex drive and/or honesty about said sex drive.

Quote

Maybe it's just where I live, but I feel like tattoos are pretty mainstream now.

I agree. I live in a Washington DC suburb and I see them everywhere. I just spent a lot of time in a hospital in a rural community with a sick relative. Virtually every nurse and other caregiver in the room had tattoos. I have none but I don't have a problem with people who do. As long as they don't contain inappropriate language or content, I don't see why they would make someone a bad role model as a teacher. 

Edited August 30, 2019 by Elizzikra

[NannyBails]

11 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I'm ready for next season!!!

Jeanne222 are you single?  Cause they're recruiting for the New Orleans show.   🙂

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 minute ago, gonecrackers said:

This may come off as harsh, but that's what these boards are for so here I go...

IMO we've seen more of Amber than we ever needed to, & way more than any middle schooler should, particularly ones she teaches. It's not just beach pics, but her tatted up bare ass in their production rented apt. If she had any boobs she would've been on par with Liz on Unfiltered, & they had to fuzz out her lady bits at least once.

Thinking a lot of kids are getting some good laughs & screenshots right now.

Paired with her pathetic behavior, I really don't know how she walks back into a school & faces her co-workers, the kids & their parents.

Regardless of her definitely getting a raw deal for this show, Amber does not behave in a respect worthy manner. She could've handled this like a class act, but that's just not her. She works with kids & like it or not could be held as an example, & IMO she's made a terrible spectacle of herself.

And yes that goes for any others who have gone on this show, past, present (future) seasons included & acted like asses in one way or another.

I'm forced to agree with you about Amber, even though I find her to be the second most most relateable and likable of his season's participants. Amber looked at Matt and saw the man of her dreams, a professional  basketball player, and she was getting married to him!  He was like like a pop star or a Super-bowl winner, to her. And suddenly, she was that young teenager dreaming of marrying a big, tall, strong pro basketball player. She was swept away into a fantasy world, and she only saw Matt through her idealized fantasy of what that would be like. 

Until it was way too late, she never even considered the effect that this could have on her career as a teacher. 

[gonecrackers]

5 minutes ago, GenY said:

In Amber’s defense the footage of her in her panties were on night vision camera. If the show had respect for her they wouldn’t have shown that shit. Who’s actually thinking about a camera on filming them at 2:30am while all distraught and stuff. 

Matt is Amber’s husband. Amber has tried her best to hold onto her marriage like any other person would you. 

When a man wants a relationship to work ain’t nothing will stop him including having a needy partner.

That was one thing of several mentioned reg. her exposure & behavior. And she knew she was being filmed, so it would've been good to throw something on while walking around crying over that idiot.

[Empress1]

1 minute ago, GenY said:

In Amber’s defense the footage of her in her panties were on night vision camera. If the show had respect for her they wouldn’t have shown that shit. Who’s actually thinking about a camera on filming them at 2:30am while all distraught and stuff. 

Agreed. If there were a night vision camera in my home you'd see me in various stages of undress too, especially in warm weather. Actually, not just night vision, though I would be more cognizant of what I was wearing during the day. (I work at home about half the time.)

Still thinking about tattoos, heh. The majority of the cast has them. Matt has lots. Jamie has at least one - they commented on it in this episode. Amber has several. Deonna has at least two: one on her chest and one on her upper arm. Keith has lots on his arms. I don't think Iris, Greg, or Elizabeth have them. 

[gonecrackers]

Most places don't care about tattoos as long as they're not offensive. Most people don't care anymore.

People can walk around their homes any way they choose. Buuuuut, if I KNEW cameras were in my home (& I'm sure they were told), & it was going to be at all possible ending up on TV, I would wear more clothes so I can face those who know me after all is said & done, but could be just me.

And again that was just one small part of a longer post reg. a bunch of ridicule worthy behavior on her part.

[MajorNelson]

11 hours ago, Stella Rose said:

Matthew, 31, is an international basketball player who has been single for more than a year....

What the heck?  Terrible wording.  Personally I would think he's been single his entire life, unless I just hadn't heard about a prior marriage.  😮

[MajorNelson]

1 hour ago, Retired at last said:

Yes, I am "old" but I remember the days when ......As a former teacher, I still believe that for many young students, teachers are role models and can provide guidance and motivation for them. Even the other people (Iris, Greg, Keith) who may work with young people have been no where close to as pathetic and needy as Amber has been. As annoying as Iris is, I would rather see someone who is  virgin working with kids....

My MIL's mother...had to stop teaching when she got married.  Only single ladies could teach the kids, way back in the day.  10's, 20's...  

Once one knew carnal knowledge, one was unfit.*

*ETA, sorry for the wording with "one" as this applies only to females!

Edited August 30, 2019 by MajorNelson

[gonecrackers]

25 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

What the heck?  Terrible wording.  Personally I would think he's been single his entire life, unless I just hadn't heard about a prior marriage.  😮

I think it's odd when never been married people refer to themselves as "been single for ___ amount of time" just because they're not dating anyone. I realize they mean not in a relationship, but the "been single for a year", or whatever time frame, implies they were once married - to me anyway.

Edited August 30, 2019 by gonecrackers

[Lindz]

12 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

Cut to Amber and Raven in papasan chairs. R: "The other night, I was out at a bar, and I saw Matt with another girl..." A is nodding her head and listening. R: "...it didn't look good." Amber's sobbing. 

Hokay! This is one of the last remaining scenes from the season preview that hasn't aired (that I know of). I hope they show if he provides more details regarding their interaction. Show EVIDENCE! PICS! VIDEO! It's not that bad if he doesn't touch her or kiss her. It better not be overhype. 😒😒

Edited August 30, 2019 by Lindz

[Valegro]

On 8/29/2019 at 10:23 AM, NoWhammies said:

I actually have it - it's super soft. I just looked at the tag and it says the company is Kensie Home. https://www.potterybarn.com/products/faux-fur-ombre-throw-collection/?catalogId=84&sku=1251821&cm_ven=PLA&cm_cat=Google&cm_pla=Pillows %26 Decor > Throws %26 Blankets&cm_ite=1251821&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiOH_6qOo5AIVCcRkCh13hAHLEAQYBSABEgJpJ_D_BwE

I have the exact blanket as Elizabeth. It was $30 at TJ Maxx a couple years ago. $160 is insane.

[NoWhammies]

3 minutes ago, Valegro said:

I have the exact blanket as Elizabeth. It was $30 at TJ Maxx a couple years ago. $160 is insane.

I agree. I got mine at HomeGoods for like $30.

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, MajorNelson said:

What the heck?  Terrible wording.  Personally I would think he's been single his entire life, unless I just hadn't heard about a prior marriage.  😮

Maybe this is a generational thing? In my experience, it's common for never-married people to say "I've been single for [x amount of time]" when they are between relationships. You see it on dating apps frequently. A very, very common opener is "single, never married, no kids," meaning a person is not currently in a relationship (and, obviously, has never been married and has no kids). A person who is in a relationship but is not married to that person would not refer to themselves as single.

Edited August 30, 2019 by Empress1

[pdlinda]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

  But let's say he lied like a rug on all the paperwork - even so, there's all the questioning (supposedly). Nothing weeded this guy out. He either totally misrepresented himself or the 'experts' are matching for drama. IMO in this case it's both.

I think there are mighty SLIM PICKINS' in the actual participant pool for the show.  There may be many "candidates"; however, very few are likely ready, willing and able (work) to actually participate in this "show."  Matt simply filled a slot that they needed to fill to produce the show so they slid him in.

[Empress1]

2 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

I think there are mighty SLIM PICKINS' in the actual participant pool for the show.  There may be many "candidates"; however, very few are likely ready, willing and able (work) to actually participate in this "show."  Matt simply filled a slot that they needed to fill to produce the show so they slid him in.

And this is good TV. At the end of the day, this is a TV show. I am certain the producers have heavy influence over who's chosen.

[AnnMarie17]

9 hours ago, Kareem said:

It was so strange when Keith asked her about initiating sex during their game and she appeared so embarrassed and hesitant, yet she casually mentioned oral to Otis on Unfiltered.  If she knows nothing about anyone initiating sex, did her face just fall in someone’s lap, like that alarming experience Angela’s Michael had in Nigeria?  

BRILLIANT!  I smile and chuckle when reading this site, but THIS reference made me legit laugh out loud (in my office, alone, which is totally not alarming to my co-workers in other offices around me...no worries).  🤣🤣🤣 

[GreenlinetoHarlem]

19 hours ago, sometimesjennifer said:

19 hours ago, pdlinda said:

To say nothing about the fact that he doesn't brush his TEETH!!!

Or at least he thinks claiming he doesn't brush his teeth makes him look like a badass, because two seconds later he totally was. He is just so awful. I really hope Amber has seen the light. I feel like this every time he speaks...

My take was that he was being sarcastic when he said he "didn't do that" in response to feeling annoyed that Amber felt the need to remind him to brush his teeth. That's one situation where I can't fault him. I've been married 20+ years; never told my husband to brush his teeth and he's never told me to brush mine. The only person I've ever told to brush their teeth were my kids when they were 12 and under.

Amber can be annoying even though Matt is a total manchild with poor character.

[suzeecat]

Thinking back to the beginning of the season, many of us speculated that we would see more casual interaction between the couples because they are living in the same apartment building (complex?).  Unfortunately, we didn't see anything like that.  I wonder why?

[pdlinda]

Just now, GreenlinetoHarlem said:

My take was that he was being sarcastic when he said he "didn't do that" in response to feeling annoyed that Amber felt the need to remind him to brush his teeth.

You have a generous spirit to give Matt the benefit of the doubt on this one.  Let's hope you're right because the consequences of poor oral hygiene are immense and, ESPECIALLY (as I presume with matt) you have no insurance and/or cash to pay for treatment.  

I also agree that Amber can be annoying but in the greater scheme of things they are both so lacking in relationship skills, this is but an small example of that fact.

[NannyBails]

I assumed Matt forgot to pack his toothbrush for the honeymoon, hence the reminder.

[Ohwell]

Then she could have told him to go get a toothbrush, instead of reminding him to brush his teeth.  

[Ilovepie]

27 minutes ago, GreenlinetoHarlem said:

My take was that he was being sarcastic when he said he "didn't do that" in response to feeling annoyed that Amber felt the need to remind him to brush his teeth. That's one situation where I can't fault him. I've been married 20+ years; never told my husband to brush his teeth and he's never told me to brush mine. The only person I've ever told to brush their teeth were my kids when they were 12 and under.

Amber can be annoying even though Matt is a total manchild with poor character.

Yeah, I thought this whole interaction was bizarre - I feel it was editing monkeys at work because right after we see him saying that they show him actually brushing his teeth. Something doesn't make sense there..........

And Amber does sometimes talk to him in "teacher voice" like she is lecturing her students. I would not appreciate that if I was him.........

[Lily247]

5 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Is something supposed to be wrong with this? Is it somehow not "classy?" My sex drive isn't that high but it sounds pretty normal to me, particularly for young woman.

If it's only a problem because she is a teacher, I come back to the fact that this is a show about marriage, ergo sex is a reasonable topic. So again, unless you want to exclude all potential role models from the show, this seems more like an indictment of a healthy sex drive and/or honesty about said sex drive.

Technically - no, having a healthy sex drive is awesome. But those 13 year old boys in her class might be making "horny" jokes. 

I work with kids and youths, and when they see me, I dont want them to snigger how they saw me in a thong on TV or crying out of rejection from a man. 

Jamie also talks a LOT about his need for sex, which is also too much TMI. Also .... the oddly professional way he says it. 

Matt took sex off the table, and Amber said she "gladly jumped on board." This is definitely her saving face, and I dont know how she doesnt see that when the man no longer wants to have sex with you, he's trying to make an exit. Not "he wants to see how this chemistry works vs this chemistry" No girl. Matt doesnt think that far. I also find the way she speaks annoying - she rationalizes every action he makes to the conclusion that he wants to be with her. You dont do this with a weeks- long relationship. Amber thinks way too fast and in circles. 

I had no idea Iris was a virgin until this episode. 

She probably was bummed they couldnt retreat in the Virgin Islands and cooks with Extra virgin olive oil .... 

😁

Edited August 30, 2019 by Lily247

[Kareem]

Didn’t Matt say something like, “No.  I don’t do that.”?  I thought maybe he meant that he didn't brush them with her in there, since that’s what Sharing is Caring Amber was doing.  It was her Rule #1 that she chewed him a new one for when he initially put all his gear in a second bathroom. Allowing his teeth to rot out of his head wasn’t my first assumption.  But who knows.  

[Ohwell]

If Matt hadn't been brushing his teeth, I doubt that Amber would be gushing about how great a kisser he is.

[LillysPad]

1 hour ago, suzeecat said:

Thinking back to the beginning of the season, many of us speculated that we would see more casual interaction between the couples because they are living in the same apartment building (complex?).  Unfortunately, we didn't see anything like that.  I wonder why?

I was hoping for some sort of weekly meet up too. 

[Ilovepie]

24 minutes ago, LillysPad said:

I was hoping for some sort of weekly meet up too. 

For all we know, maybe they were, but they waited until the cameras were gone to hang out.......