S09.E12: Bear With Me

[KateHearts]

13 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

She’s seems like an exhibitionist at times.  

Elizabeth is ALL about the attention. Watch her when other people are talking or being highlighted. She's making exaggerated facial expressions, wiggling around, gesticulating. And when it's her turn to talk, her hands are all over the place, she yells, or she rolls on the ground like when she was talking about how to deal with a bear confrontation. It's ALL ABOUT MEEEEE.

That said, I don't like Jamie either. I've been watching him when they are supposedly having "good talks" and his face does not move. He seems like he's pretty emotionless inside.  And he is also the type that won't let something go. In the car last week when he started in again about the NASCAR track idiocy, he would not. stop. going. on. and. on.  "I can't believe you aren't sorry for what you did. I can't believe anyone would want to act that way. I've never...." all just drilling and drilling and drilling.  So they really puzzle me when they then say "I really love Jamie," or "Elizabeth is someone I really want to invest my future in."  Just doesn't jive.

Matt sounds like he read a self-help book and is reciting the lines.  "I have put everything into this relationship. We have built a very strong bond." I'm sorry, but I just do not see it.  Same with Amber- she takes what little tiny scrap of attention she gets and it turns into "we are really working on this. We're making progress." Then in the next breath she says he doesn't keep his "curfew" - but yes, she still REALLY REALLY WANTS TO MAKE THIS WORK! But why, Amber- why??

[Empress1]

10 minutes ago, sometimesjennifer said:

I have tried so hard to hear this baby voice people seem to despise and I am just not catching it.

She did it during the foraging - her voice got really high and squeaky when he was eating the stuff in the woods. I cannot STAND baby talk (I don't even like hearing it spoken to actual babies) but it didn't bother me here - it wasn't so much baby talk as it was a squeaky voice. I can't remember her doing it any other time.

1 minute ago, KateHearts said:

Matt sounds like he read a self-help book and is reciting the lines.  "I have put everything into this relationship. We have built a very strong bond." I'm sorry, but I just do not see it.  Same with Amber- she takes what little tiny scrap of attention she gets and it turns into "we are really working on this. We're making progress." Then in the next breath she says he doesn't keep his "curfew" - but yes, she still REALLY REALLY WANTS TO MAKE THIS WORK! But why, Amber- why??

She has abandonment issues and is really needy. Her mother left the family when she (Mom) came out. Amber's twin said in a previous relationship, she was giving the guy her paycheck - it sounds like she habitually gives way too much in relationships because she doesn't want to be left. There was something she said this episode when Elizabeth was talking about Jamie being gone for 4 days that stuck out to me. I'm paraphrasing but it was something like "If you were dating someone for 7 weeks and you had a fight and they ditched you for 4 days, it would be normal to take space and then re-connect," and I was thinking " ... Wouldn't you just break up?" I mean, 7 weeks in the real world is not a long time. If I had the kind of fight Elizabeth and Jamie had less than two months in, I'd block the guy's number and think "Well, good thing I didn't waste too much time." 

It's ridiculous to me that Amber is even entertaining the idea of Matt being out every night until the wee hours without her. Once in a while, sure, but EVERY night? She hasn't even suggested that they have Matt's friends over, or that she go out WITH him - she's just like "Yeah, spend all your free time away from me." Why even be married?

[Cammi]

1 hour ago, Stella Rose said:

Ouch.  I think she is quite stunning to look at and has a beautiful figure.  Some people are just thin.  Maybe I just take that a little too personally - being naturally thin, I cannot count how many women have told me I need to 'eat a sandwich' or have said 'Only dogs like bones, REAL women have curves'.   It's just mean.  There is a lid for every sized pot.

Now if we were discussing her personality (or lack thereof...)

Everybody on here calling Amber homely and greasy haired, but to mention that bony Iris is bony is too touchy a subject? Nah- I'm thin myself. Not about to tell anyone to "eat a sandwich". Still don't wanna cuddle up to bones, sorry not sorry. I don't find her all that attractive either. Huge overbite, gangly limbs moving awkwardly, immature, selfish personality. Much prefer Deonna looks-wise. Don't blame Keith for his disinterest. Though he is very polite about it, But the reason he isn't "cuddling" or cozying up to Iris is simple- he ain't into her, For whatever reason. Maybe all of the above. 

I have EXTREMELY, untamable, curly hair, but I don't cry into my Cheetos anytime someone mentions curly hair is from the devil ffs. Amber looks like a greasy haired Travolta, Jamie is a chubby Seinfeld, Beth a cartoon caricature drawing with inflated lips, Jamie Otis has crap extensions, and Iris looks gangly. 

Edited August 29, 2019 by Cammi

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 minute ago, Apollo said:

I have definitely seen parakeets do this mating dance:

https://gph.is/g/4MW6llw

That was awesome!  I have flirting parakeets --and they totally do that dance!

[Lily247]

32 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

Edited August 29, 2019 by Lily247

[pdlinda]

5 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

Did I hear Matt say "Nah, I don't do that" when Amber asked him if he was going to brush hist teeth? Ew!

To think that any human being would have physical contact where bodily fluids in the mouth are shared with someone who brags about not brushing his teeth is beyond my ability to comprehend (sorry for run-on sentence😃).

[Lily247]

8 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

She did it during the foraging - her voice got really high and squeaky when he was eating the stuff in the woods. I cannot STAND baby talk (I don't even like hearing it spoken 

I think its her actual real voice. I had a boss who was the meanest b*tch in the world, but had that SAME annoying, squeaky, nasally baby voice. *shudder*

[Lily247]

13 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

I had no idea Iris was so tall!  Watching Amber and Iris talk shows how much of this is about them and how little either of them understands or listens to their SOs.   I don’t think Amber really heard Matt. Thats a problem.  

THANK YOU! neither are ACTUALLY paying attention to what their husbands are telling them, or blatantly hinting to them.

If any guy I have known for a couple of weeks (arranged husband or not!) Says repeatedly that he wants to get away from me, I would think to myself, "I guess he wants to say bye bye. Ok, Bye! ." But these girls take what he say sooooo literally, or twist it to mean what they want, that it's all lost on them. 

Edited August 29, 2019 by Lily247

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 minute ago, Apollo said:

I had parakeets growing up -- they're the sweetest, aren't they?  

Sweet *and* adorable! I have mine in separate cages, and only let one out at a time (I don't want to have to find homes for babies, and I'm not sure I could bear to part with them anyway!) --but they approach each other through the cage bars, opening their mouths several times as the other bird approaches, then bob their heads several times, etc. (just like Elizabeth was doing in that clip!) before they start to kiss.

That clip was only lacking the male "parakeet" (Jamie)...

[gonecrackers]

21 minutes ago, Apollo said:

I have definitely seen parakeets do this mating dance:

https://gph.is/g/4MW6llw

I have one parakeet (pictured) - we call this the budgie bop.  He's quite talented & also does the budgie shuffle. At some point he married one of his toys...

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I've remarked on that before.  Probably something she can't change but I really wish she would use some kind of matte something on her face.  She glows and really shines too brightly.

It's mostly in the talking heads where she is really shiny. I think it's the way she is lit; plus I can't figure out why they don't put a little powder on her. In other scenes, she isn't so shiny.

I think she is really cute and I like her with Greg. They are really the only couple I like this season and I'm rooting for them.

[Soup333]

16 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

THANK YOU! neither are ACTUALLY paying attention to what their husbands are telling them, or blatantly hinting to them.

If any guy I have known for a couple of weeks (arranged husband or not!) Says repeatedly that he wants to get away from me, I would think to myself, "I guess he wants to say bye bye. Ok, Bye! ." But these girls take what he say sooooo literally, or twist it to mean what they want, that it's all lost on them. 

It was an interesting conversation. Amber is hurting. You can see it on her face when she talks about Matt. She’s hurting and yet still trying to rationalize his behavior and holding out hope that they have a chance. When she told Iris about them (him) taking sex off the table, Iris pops in with, “See, that’s why I’m still a virgin,” again making it all about herself and her preeminent life accomplishment. 

I felt like Amber was looking for comfort or advice and Iris latched on to an opportunity to brag. 

Now consider how E asked Amber questions about Matt maybe having some type of issue (I forget what exactly) but it was way more of a friendship conversation on the surface - until it struck me that maybe E was only gathering more fodder for her I Hate Matt fan club. 

Said all that to say, both Iris and Elizabeth are self-centered and lack the empathy necessary to be a true friend (at least with Amber).

You could tell the Raven guy actually cares about Amber’s well-being. I don’t know about them being together romantically, but he seems to be a good friend to her. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

When she told Iris about them (him) taking sex off the table, Iris pops in with, “See, that’s why I’m still a virgin,” again making it all about herself and her preeminent life accomplishment. 

I think that Iris doesn't understand that a guy can want to have sex with her but not only be in the relationship for sex. There is a lot of grey area in a relationship between having sex the first night you meet a guy and never having sex. 

[Retired at last]

For me, Iris earned a point for saying that she saw the spark in Amber has been dimmed by the way Matt is treating her. I wish she would have said it to Amber instead of the TH. But, then she lost the point by referring to herself in the third person again.

I continue to hope that Greg and Deonna make it. As to her baby voice - the minute they got to the cabin she was speaking in that tone. Maybe that is how she shows she is happy or excited, but it WAS annoying and is not her usual tone.

So, Iris is seeing that Keith is not good at communicating with her or expressing his feelings. Maybe that's because when he does try, she shuts him down with a face or some snippy remark? Keith is not stupid. He is checked out and I now think maybe even Iris will say no at D-Day. She doesn't understand why, so she will be shocked that he isn't into her, but still, they are a NO.

I HOPE that Amber says no and if it looks like she is told about Matt and another woman, I think she may have the gumption to end it (even tho he will, but I want her to have a little dignity and say no herself).

Jamie and Big Red continue to frustrate me. I hope they both say NO but I have a feeling they will both say yes, for some really disturbing reason. Either way, I still don't care. At all.

[gonecrackers]

1 minute ago, Retired at last said:

I HOPE that Amber says no and if it looks like she is told about Matt and another woman, I think she may have the gumption to end it (even tho he will, but I want her to have a little dignity and say no herself).

One can hope. I hope too.

She seems very naive. From comments she's made (maybe on Unfiltered but can't recall) she really equated sex with love, as in, Matt had sex with her & how/why would he do that if he didn't love her - seriously Amber?!  Men are known to fuck the fat girl they won't be seen with in public. Of course he could have sex with her, probably while fantasizing about some hot chick.

I'm confused as to whether to feel bad for her or SMH & back away slowly.

[Retired at last]

@gonecrackers, maybe a little of both. I am still unhappy that she is teaching in middle school and that her students are able to watch her struggles, her stating that she needs sex every day, her sad desperation, questionable fashion choices (someone needs to throw away that aqua romper she wears on Unfiltered) and really encourage her to get into some serious therapy. I am sorry that she has abandonment issues, but at some point, she needs to take responsibility for herself and not blame her mother. Deal with it and be the grown up. And have some self respect. At least she has some good friends, like Raven, who can help. If her friends are good people, she has to see that she must be good, too.

[sometimesjennifer]

10 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

I continue to hope that Greg and Deonna make it. As to her baby voice - the minute they got to the cabin she was speaking in that tone. Maybe that is how she shows she is happy or excited, but it WAS annoying and is not her usual tone.

Maybe I am so blinded by my adoration of those two that the voice doesn't affect me. If so, I'm glad! The only voice that drives me bonkers is Elizabeth's stank attitude drenched tone. That's plenty for me.

[Ohwell]

While I'm not a fan of hot tubs, I would have done it for a few minutes with the other couples just to be friendly.  However, there's no way I would have gotten into a hot tub with Jamie and Elizabeth because they strike me as skeevy and unhygienic.   

Now that I think about it, Jamie and Elizabeth should audition to be the new Sling TV couple.  They'd be perfect.

[PityFree]

 Raven and Amber being a couple would be the creepiest thing ever because they have the same exact face.

[bichonblitz]

The hell?? Nobody and I mean nobody is going to guilt me in to eating bugs! Was Deonna going to think less of Greg if he refused? He's a great sport and she can really be an ass sometimes. He tries and tries with her, I have yet to see what she is doing to connect with him. If he keeps bending to all of her wishes to please her and the relationship continues after the show Deonna is going to grow to expect Greg to cowtow to her on a regular basis and she will begin taking advantage of him because it will be the norm for her. Greg is setting up the relationship to be this way if he doesn't grow some balls and put his foot down once in a while and just say NO, I don't want to do that or don't feel comfortable doing that. I'm rooting for Greg big time. Love this guy!

Edited August 29, 2019 by bichonblitz

[Ilovepie]

Wow. That seemed downright tame compared to last season with drunk AJ. I guess I was expecting more drama, but no.

I cannot believe an entire group of grown ups were peer pressuring another adult into drinking tequila first thing in the morning. Yes, Iris needs to remove that giant stick she has up her butt, but what a bunch of asses. I wouldn't have drank (or drunk? what is the right tense??? Grammar nazis school me please!) that either.

Everyone has talked about how damaged Amber is, but last night I really see that Matt is a giant emotional mess as well, just in a different way. Amber saying on Unfiltered that "Matt doesn't have a love language", and "Matt loves himself so much he doesn't need a lot of human companionship" raises a lot of red flags to me. These are things that someone who has been deeply hurt says to avoid being hurt more. As someone who recognizes the false bravado and has been to therapy to deal with childhood hurts, I recognize the massive walls up to avoid real intimacy. His estrangement from his family and being on his own from a young age is telling. I think he needs a boatload of therapy. He's a mess and he's lying to himself. And other people. That was quite a show he put on at the retreat. He's Luke all over - says the right thing while the cameras roll, and does another when they're gone. I hope there is some comeuppance in the works and he is forced to own up to what he has done. "I've worked really hard". What a load of horseshit. People keep saying Iris is emotionally immature, but I think Matt is too - his behavior is stunted and he's acting like a college kid, not a grown married adult man.

What were Iris and Keith and Matt and Amber doing while Jamie and Liz went to the salt cave and Deonna and Gregg ate bugs???? Bad editing.

I think Keith is pulling a Will - just playing nice and riding this out until D-day.

Seeing Raven really made me pissed that these were the guys that got chosen this season. For the love of Anthony D'Amico, why?????? Why, when there is a perfectly attractive and seemingly well adjusted guy available for the show? Or are they only allowed to pick one per season? (Greg being the chosen one this season)........

[Stella Rose]

2 hours ago, Cammi said:

Everybody on here calling Amber homely and greasy haired, but to mention that bony Iris is bony is too touchy a subject? Nah- I'm thin myself. Not about to tell anyone to "eat a sandwich". Still don't wanna cuddle up to bones, sorry not sorry.  (clipped)

I have EXTREMELY, untamable, curly hair, but I don't cry into my Cheetos anytime someone mentions curly hair is from the devil ffs. Amber looks like a greasy haired Travolta, Jamie is a chubby Seinfeld, Beth a cartoon caricature drawing with inflated lips, Jamie Otis has crap extensions, and Iris looks gangly. 

To me it is the difference of generalities v. personal comments.  i,.e.

"Damn, Amber's hair looks lank.  She really needs to get some professional help for that 'do."

"Oi!   Liz dresses like a hooker on Unfiltered."   "Iris looks gangly, she is all leg, like a colt"  These are perfect examples of direct comments about a participant, and I see nothing at all even remotely wrong with that..

Conversely, "I don't do bony" seems like a generalized, and very rude remark about a particular body tyoe in general (and one that it seems is just fine to make fun of).  I am most certainly not crying into my anything, thanks, (I don't eat cheetos), but my hand to god, if I someone "Dang, so and so woman is really fat.  I don't DO fat."  People would lose their minds. 

I hope that makes sense, but alas, we may just agree to disagree, which is what these forums are all about.   Peace. 

Edited August 29, 2019 by Stella Rose

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I am still unhappy that she is teaching in middle school and that her students are able to watch her struggles, her stating that she needs sex every day, her sad desperation, questionable fashion choices (someone needs to throw away that aqua romper she wears on Unfiltered)

So I'm going to express somewhat of an unpopular opinion.

Teachers don't have to be perfect. It's perfectly normal and healthy to want to have sex with your partner every day. I don't love the romper but it's not inappropriately low cut or short and it's appropriate for the situation (plus since when do teachers have to be fashion icons). I don't like that she is sad and clinging to hope for this "romance" but ... it's reality. Real people sometimes have bad relationships.

This is a trashy show. I don't really think that middle schoolers need to be watching it nor do I think they'd have any interest if one of their teachers wasn't on it. But plenty of what they watch is a whole lot worse.

In other words - yeah, Amber is a teacher. No, she doesn't represent a great female ideal. But every kid who has been bullied, dumped, has parents who can't stand one another, isn't the prettiest or the most popular or has ever felt unloved will probably identify with her and maybe feel a tiny bit less freakish. Iris and Keith both work with young people - does their involvement in this show also bother you? Should the show ban everyone who works with youth or supposed to be a role model for them in some capacity?

[sometimesjennifer]

21 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Greg is setting up the relationship to be this way if he doesn't grow some balls and put his foot down once in a while and just say NO, I don't want to do that or don't feel comfortable doing that. I'm rooting for Greg big time. Love this guy!

I think he would speak up if it were something that REALLY bothered or upset him. He's trying to be a good sport to try to woo her and prove to her that he's willing to take chances and live in the moment. He married a complete stranger in an effort to find happiness. I feel like eating bugs isn't that big of a deal in comparison, and he probably doesn't either.

[ECM1231]

17 hours ago, Kareem said:

Have to say that girl kills it with bowling, golf, the axe.

I guess that is what happens when you spend a decade dating yourself and not having any male distraction. 

[ECM1231]

15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think Amber is on to Matt by now.  She looks defeated and seems aware that he doesn't find her attractive.  She wondered why he had sex with her at all if he wasn't really attracted to her - She doesn't understand douchbags like that very well.  They'd have sex with the wall if it let them.  When he was spewing all that BS that made the others go "awww", Amber was very quietly trying not to react, but it was obvious to me that she was not buying it one bit.  Like I said, she's onto him by now.  I don't see the same desperate optimist in her anymore.  Thank goodness, I actually think she may have some backbone and common sense in her somewhere.

Pastor Cal pissed me off on "Unfiltered".  He was "explaining" Matt's fucked up behavior by pointing to the dysfunction in his background.  Well DUDE, WHY ON EARTH did you think he was good marriage material?  Don't tell me they never talked to him about his background!  Again, just more proof that the "experts" have NOTHING to do with who gets chosen for this show.

Yes, Keith looks ever more checked out.  Iris with her little girl shtick is turning him off, and it's getting worse.  She seems clueless to it even though his facial expressions are pretty obvious.  The fact that he could tell his mother he's not sure whether she makes him feel good or not is a very bad sign.

Jamie and Liz are on one of those see-saw roller coaster ride relationships that's very destructive in the long run.  You can't have these wild swings back and forth all the time without it doing damage to your soul eventually.  It's like they get "high" off each other, then crash into reality, then spend time apart, then crawl back, then go up the roller coaster to the top again until the inevitable free-fall.  It's psychotic and very dysfunctional.  In the long run they won't last.  Them being all "I love you" and not being able to live without each other after a fight is going to get real old in a year or so.  Maybe less.  Liz is getting on Jamie's nerves big time already and he is just a self-centered narcissist.

I'm still holding out hope for Deonna and Greg even though she is annoying me no end with the way she acts toward him and that little girl voice.  I am hoping that they are doing better than the show wants it to look and that in the end they will work themselves out.  Well, they're my last hope for this season so I suppose I don't want to let go yet.

I still can't get over how immature most of these people seem (except Greg and Keith).  I KNOW when I was their age I was not that immature.  None of my friends were either.  Iris points to her being an only child and having to learn to share.  No, dear, you grew up in an over-indulged over-protected ivory tower, THAT's why you need to learn the give and take of a relationship this late in the game.  THIS only child (me) learned those things at a much earlier age.

Iris thinks Keith is like douchbag Matt in not liking to talk about feelings.  No, it's just that he doesn't trust her to be able to handle them because of her emotional immaturity.  That's why he told his mother how he really felt and not Iris.

And Matt doesn't like talking about feelings with Amber because he really doesn't have any for her and he is selfish and doesn't want to waste his time or be "outed" for what he really is.  He thinks he can get out of this with as little effort as possible.

👏Most excellent post. Very insightful.  My heart hurts for Amber, though. She didn't deserve the dbag that she was matched with. 

[Mercolleen]

18 hours ago, PityFree said:

Matt is a terrible liar. 

LIAR!

For real though. He never loved her.

I want to kick him.

[Mercolleen]

15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

And Matt doesn't like talking about feelings with Amber because he really doesn't have any for her and he is selfish and doesn't want to waste his time or be "outed" for what he really is.  He thinks he can get out of this with as little effort as possible.

But he just yammered on about HOW MUCH EFFORT he is putting in. What an asshole. I hate him.

[Ohwell]

If I were on this show and was married to someone I didn't want, I would spew bullshit and tell whoppers too.  The only reason I'd want to kick Matt in the nuts is if he says yes on D day.  

[eyelash]

16 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I still can't get over how immature most of these people seem (except Greg and Keith).  I KNOW when I was their age I was not that immature.  None of my friends were either.  Iris points to her being an only child and having to learn to share.  No, dear, you grew up in an over-indulged over-protected ivory tower, THAT's why you need to learn the give and take of a relationship this late in the game.  THIS only child (me) learned those things at a much earlier age.

Oh no! Never ivory!  It had to be a very stark, bright, pure virginal white tower!

[Empress1]

50 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Should the show ban everyone who works with youth or supposed to be a role model for them in some capacity?

There'd be no one on the show! Half the people on here work with youth. In addition to Amber, Keith and Iris both do stuff with mentorship and Greg owns a learning center. I think Iris's behavior is as annoying as Amber's. 

Elizabeth and Jamie don't work with kids but they do work with clients and they haven't conducted themselves well either. (And if I'm one of Elizabeth's clients, I'm side-eyeing the hell out of both her AND her father, given that her father said straight up that he didn't actually expect her to do anything.)

[Ohwell]

It's not so much that Amber needs to be some kind of role model, it's that she comes off looking so needy and pitiful that looks bad.  Even the 8th graders are probably shaking their heads and wishing they could shake some sense into her.  

I don't know how young the people are that Iris works with, but the whole virginity issue should be an embarrassment and, frankly, TMI. 

[Stella Rose]

I am completely convinced the "experts" chose the participants from paper only.  No way anyone (except maybe an intern) interviewed Matt.

Think about it - he sounds like a decent catch - on paper.

But then he opens his mouth.  He sounds and acts like a 15 year old boy.  I have a real issue with grown men who constantly walk around in basketball shorts (I imagine finding pants to fit him is not easy, but still).  His voice, mannerisms, and cadence grate  on my nerves to the point I need to mute him sometimes.

Add to it his extremely emotionally immature behaviour "I need me time" sex being his only way of communicating intimacy, his stalling, mumbling, hemming and hawing and (possible) outright lies when anyone questions him...   

UGH.   I cannot  even entertain the idea that he was smart enough to pull the wool over the  'experts'. eyes.   Nope.   No way.  This guy was picked on paper only. 

Amber needs to cut and run and call Kate to go get drinks (and beg her advice on hair styling and her stylist's number).  Bless, Kate had such pretty, pretty hair.  

[pdlinda]

4 minutes ago, Stella Rose said:

Add to it his extremely emotionally immature behaviour "I need me time" sex being his only way of communicating intimacy, his stalling, mumbling, hemming and hawing and (possible) outright lies when anyone questions him...   

To say nothing about the fact that he doesn't brush his TEETH!!!

[sometimesjennifer]

23 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

To say nothing about the fact that he doesn't brush his TEETH!!!

Or at least he thinks claiming he doesn't brush his teeth makes him look like a badass, because two seconds later he totally was. He is just so awful. I really hope Amber has seen the light. I feel like this every time he speaks...

Edited August 29, 2019 by sometimesjennifer

[Kiss my mutt]

I’m saddened Beth didn’t go outside and step up to that bear. 

[Stella Rose]

24 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

To say nothing about the fact that he doesn't brush his TEETH!!!

Yep.  More 14-15 year old boy posturing.  Dipshit.  

No way he can sustain any kind of long term relationship until he grows up.  I would not even recommend he get a pet to help him mature.  Well, maybe a pet rock.

[Lily247]

2 hours ago, sometimesjennifer said:

I think he would speak up if it were something that REALLY bothered or upset him. He's trying to be a good sport to try to woo her and prove to her that he's willing to take chances and live in the moment. He married a complete stranger in an effort to find happiness. I feel like eating bugs isn't that big of a deal in comparison, and he probably doesn't either.

This isnt wooing her. Shes trying to push his. Buttons to see how far she can push him. He looks like a dope to her, eating those bugs, and she is probably enjoying the power she has over him. I don't get all the Greg - Dionna love.

Having to eat bugs to please your partner is NOT love. 

I shudder to think what he would do next. And I hope in his next relationship (cuz this wont last) he will grow a spine and get some balls.

[sometimesjennifer]

20 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

Having to eat bugs to please your partner is NOT love. 

Nobody forced him to do anything. He seemed to be having a good time. Yea, she was needling him a little, but if he straight up refused I don't think she would pull an Elizabeth and push over the table.

[Farley]

I like Deonna and Greg and am rooting for them.  Having said that, Deonna needs to step up her game. She keeps asking Greg to step out of his comfort zone and be adventurous.  Well, I think she should reciprocate and step out of hers. Meaning, geez woman, give him some affection,  rock his world in the bedroom. The walls and closed off bs is wearing on me, relax and enjoy your great man. 

For Iris and the Nova ring, I had a friend who never got her period as a teenager,  she simply never started puberty.  Finally, as an adult she went to the right doctor (she had extremely religious parents so it hadn't happened prior). The doctore prescribed. birth control pills to start puberty. I wonder if Iris is the same? Her complete lack of sexuality and total immaturity makes me wonder if her hormones never kicked in and the Novaring is intended to kick start that?

[nutella fitzgerald]

32 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

This isnt wooing her. Shes trying to push his. Buttons to see how far she can push him. He looks like a dope to her, eating those bugs, and she is probably enjoying the power she has over him. I don't get all the Greg - Dionna love.

I think it's just the other three couples being vastly worse. Keith and Iris also come off better in comparison to Elizabeth/Jamie and Amber/cardboard cutout, but Keith is visibly checked out on a level that reminds me of Atlanta Neil. Greg/Deonna and Keith/Iris just had to meet the low bar of "lived together every night for eight weeks" (a standard to which we hold children at sleepaway camp) to surpass the others.

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Stella Rose said:

Think about it - he sounds like a decent catch - on paper.

No roots, no home of his own, unemployed, new business just talk not established, estranged from family (even if for good reasons still not a good candidate for this kind of thing)...

I don't think paper does justice to how much Matt was actually a lousy choice. 

1 hour ago, Ohwell said:

I don't know how young the people are that Iris works with, but the whole virginity issue should be an embarrassment and, frankly, TMI.

It's probably part of her introductions, perhaps in her bio on the company website.

Edited August 29, 2019 by gonecrackers

[pdlinda]

45 minutes ago, sometimesjennifer said:

1 hour ago, pdlinda said:

To say nothing about the fact that he doesn't brush his TEETH!!!

Or at least he thinks claiming he doesn't brush his teeth makes him look like a badass, because two seconds later he totally was.

Accepting the fact that maybe someone on the production team wised him up to "get with the program" and do something "normal" like brush his teeth, my sense is that he's lazy and unmotivated to attend to personal hygiene and would rather wile his time away doing the "party scene."  Stating the obvious, without ongoing and consistent attention to oral hygiene BAD things occur (other health problems) and loss of teeth and gums and such neglect becomes very expensive!  Matt is a loser on so many, many levels.  Oh, I'm just thinking that maybe he'll stick with Amber for her insurance benefits!!😄😄

[humbleopinion]

___________________________________________________________

Iris Caldwell Manley...Professional Virgin since 1992

 TeeVee Personality available for speaking engagements

___________________________________________________________

 Iris' business cards

[Crazy Bird Lady]

On 8/29/2019 at 1:31 PM, Elizzikra said:

I think that Iris doesn't understand that a guy can want to have sex with her but not only be in the relationship for sex. There is a lot of grey area in a relationship between having sex the first night you meet a guy and never having sex. 

Ummm... except maybe for Greg's attitude-- a virginal woman who was really naiive about sex could easily come to the conclusion, after being around these other 3 couples, that no guy can want to have sex with a woman without being in the relationship for sex.

Edited August 31, 2019 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Liberty]

3 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Teachers don't have to be perfect.

That's for sure.  

If she is a teacher her grammar, tattoos, drinking and other behavior follows her into the classroom.  None of those things is bad in itself, but for a teacher to display them to students in or out of the classroom is not appropriate, and some may consider it unprofessional.  The problem may not be that a teacher does these things, but rather where she does them

3 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

This is a trashy show.

Great frequently overlooked observation.  What does that say about you and me as viewers?

[humbleopinion]

I watch trash.

I like to post nonsense to make people laugh about the trash shows we watch.

What we post here is more entertaining than the trash we watch.

Not much fun snarking on Masterpiece Theater.

[luvly]

Jamie's barely contained anger when Beth just kept slurping her drink and refusing to be goaded into begging him to come back or accepting more than her fair share of responsibility was chilling. At this point, I'm sure the unspoken part of him being like "I asked for someone just like her", is "...so I could break her". He absolutely intended to use his 4-day break to make Beth feel desperate for his return and it backfired beautifully. He only spun it as trying save their marriage before it was too late when he realized she wasn't pining for him. You ain't slick, Jamie.

I don't know if that talk with her friend got through to her or what, but Amber is too through with Matt. He really did himself in with that faux profound speech to the rest of the group. Amber's body language was truly a sight to behold.

Not much to talk about with Keith & Iris, he's just biding his time. I'll give it to Iris on the tequila though, not only is it annoying when grown adults try to pressure other adults into drinking but tequila? On an empty stomach? No, ma'am. "I feel like Moses" did get an unexpected laugh out of me too.

I always find myself smiling when Greg & Deonna are on. They've both said that they wanted someone who pushed them and they seem to be doing that for each other, but not in an unhealthy J&E way. I haven't seen either of them force or belittle the other into doing something, so if they like it, I love it. IMO, Deonna's voice is just another version of code switching. Sadly, I know plenty of women that have adopted a higher or softer speaking voice so as not to seem too "challenging" in the workplace.

ETA: Deonna's neck is def a genetic thing, it runs in my family too. Young, old, skinny, fat; the neck rings do not discriminate. Actually, that's a lie. More women than men seem to have them in my family. Hmm...😒

Edited August 30, 2019 by luvly

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I don't know how young the people are that Iris works with, but the whole virginity issue should be an embarrassment and, frankly, TMI. 

If she works in a faith-based program with tweens and teens, I'm sure her virginty is seen as a great asset and one she should vocally model for the young folk.

Quote

To say nothing about the fact that he doesn't brush his TEETH!!!

I thought his "I don't do that" comment about brushing his teeth might have been sarcasm, since earlier in the episode Amber reminded him to pack a toothbrush (in a very motherly tone).

Quote

Great frequently overlooked observation.  What does that say about you and me as viewers?

That we watch a trashy tv show.

Quote

If she is a teacher her grammar, tattoos, drinking and other behavior follows her into the classroom.  None of those things is bad in itself, but for a teacher to display them to students in or out of the classroom is not appropriate, and some may consider it unprofessional.  The problem may not be that a teacher does these things, but rather where she does them

See this confuses me because the first part of your post suggests that anything a teacher does anywhere follows her into the classroom but the last sentence suggest that it's not the doing of the behaviors that is a problem but where she does them. I think we both agree that much of what's on the show isn't appropriate for a classroom discussion. So where would we draw the line? Amber is a young woman. Can she go out on a weekend, have a few drinks, dance on a tabletop or two and make out with a hot bartender? Does that behavior follow her into a classroom (assuming that her middle school students aren't hanging out at the neighborhood bar at night)? Or is that ok as long as it's not on social media, where her students might see it? Or is all that ok as long as she doesn't do it on a tv show? Where do we want to draw the line? 

I also want to argue that if it's inappropriate for Amber to be on the show, as a teacher and role model, we also should boot Greg the tutor center owner (which would break my heart); and Iris and Keith who both work in youth programs. I mean, Iris's young charges could see her licking hot pink body paint off Keith's nipples in one episode -most people probably don't consider that wholesome family viewing.

Of all the rotten influences out there on young people today, I just don't think that a middle school english teacher on Married at First Sight who has tattoos and doesn't always speak in grammatically perfect English on said television show is that much of a threat. I think the Youth of America will weather this assault just fine and continue on the path to productive adulthood largely unscathed. That's more than I can say about Amber when her sham marriage finally ends.

[gingerandcloves]

13 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I was bugging out. I laughed at Greg's reaction - y'all ain't sending the Black man out there to get eaten or mauled! There was a sign on the wall of the cabin that talked about what to do if you saw a bear but I couldn't read it - they didn't show it clearly.

I paused the video, it says: "Bears are active in this area. Please never bait or feed them. Never leave food or garbage outside or in your vehicle." So, a pretty typical bear warning. I'd be freaked out to actually see one though.