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S09.E12: Bear With Me


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1 hour ago, GenY said:

I have not observed not one time that Keith has cozied up to Iris. Dude is strange. 

Iris probably has rules about cuddling, to go along with all of her other rules. I wonder how she is dealing with the sink situation? I doubt that cabin had double basin vanities.

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3 hours ago, cinsays said:

Yeah, so ladylike.  Liz needs to burn that blouse - so very unflattering. 

She’s seems like an exhibitionist at times.  

4 hours ago, Retired at last said:

Or some of her extensions!

I really like Jamie. She handles sensitive questions really well. She knows what to ask and how to ask it.  And I like her look. 

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12 minutes ago, Ms.C. said:

Really Beth needs to calm down. She explodes. She has some huge insecurity problems   Even now she put up a wall.  

Beth needs to realize Matt wants a relationship and not just a sex partner. I like him.  He thinks before responding and takes things slow.  A very mature guy. He wil be a good husband and father.  Amber needs to grow up.  IMO.   

Also, Iris is a puzzle.  Where’s she been her whole life?  She seems unnatural. Had sex change?  Is that crazy? I’m beginning to wonder.  Very immature and Keith’s checked out. 

Like Deonna and Greg.  A lot.  They’ll make it.   All IMO of course   🥰

You are right Beth is so immature and explosive like when she sent the coffee table flying in her rage and tonight when they were sitting out and he was eating ice-cream and she kept sucking on her straw just to be super annoying, she’s extremely childish.  If they decide to stay together it will be just a matter of time before they break up.

I find it really difficult to read what is going on with Iris and keith. I am sure Deonna and Greg will stay together too.

I really feel bad that Amber got matched up with such a loser.

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I had no idea Iris was so tall!  Watching Amber and Iris talk shows how much of this is about them and how little either of them understands or listens to their SOs.   I don’t think Amber really heard Matt. Thats a problem.  

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I think Amber is on to Matt by now.  She looks defeated and seems aware that he doesn't find her attractive.  She wondered why he had sex with her at all if he wasn't really attracted to her - She doesn't understand douchbags like that very well.  They'd have sex with the wall if it let them.  When he was spewing all that BS that made the others go "awww", Amber was very quietly trying not to react, but it was obvious to me that she was not buying it one bit.  Like I said, she's onto him by now.  I don't see the same desperate optimist in her anymore.  Thank goodness, I actually think she may have some backbone and common sense in her somewhere.

Pastor Cal pissed me off on "Unfiltered".  He was "explaining" Matt's fucked up behavior by pointing to the dysfunction in his background.  Well DUDE, WHY ON EARTH did you think he was good marriage material?  Don't tell me they never talked to him about his background!  Again, just more proof that the "experts" have NOTHING to do with who gets chosen for this show.

Yes, Keith looks ever more checked out.  Iris with her little girl shtick is turning him off, and it's getting worse.  She seems clueless to it even though his facial expressions are pretty obvious.  The fact that he could tell his mother he's not sure whether she makes him feel good or not is a very bad sign.

Jamie and Liz are on one of those see-saw roller coaster ride relationships that's very destructive in the long run.  You can't have these wild swings back and forth all the time without it doing damage to your soul eventually.  It's like they get "high" off each other, then crash into reality, then spend time apart, then crawl back, then go up the roller coaster to the top again until the inevitable free-fall.  It's psychotic and very dysfunctional.  In the long run they won't last.  Them being all "I love you" and not being able to live without each other after a fight is going to get real old in a year or so.  Maybe less.  Liz is getting on Jamie's nerves big time already and he is just a self-centered narcissist.

I'm still holding out hope for Deonna and Greg even though she is annoying me no end with the way she acts toward him and that little girl voice.  I am hoping that they are doing better than the show wants it to look and that in the end they will work themselves out.  Well, they're my last hope for this season so I suppose I don't want to let go yet.

I still can't get over how immature most of these people seem (except Greg and Keith).  I KNOW when I was their age I was not that immature.  None of my friends were either.  Iris points to her being an only child and having to learn to share.  No, dear, you grew up in an over-indulged over-protected ivory tower, THAT's why you need to learn the give and take of a relationship this late in the game.  THIS only child (me) learned those things at a much earlier age.

Iris thinks Keith is like douchbag Matt in not liking to talk about feelings.  No, it's just that he doesn't trust her to be able to handle them because of her emotional immaturity.  That's why he told his mother how he really felt and not Iris.

And Matt doesn't like talking about feelings with Amber because he really doesn't have any for her and he is selfish and doesn't want to waste his time or be "outed" for what he really is.  He thinks he can get out of this with as little effort as possible.

Edited by Yeah No
Grammar.
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6 minutes ago, Ms.C. said:

I love Deonna’s voice.  Calm and controlled.  She uses it well with Greg. Sweet and inviting.  Never abrasive.  Not sure shy so many negative comments . 

I more just don't like the way she treats him than her voice.  She always has to have the upper hand in the relationship with him.  In the previous episode she pissed me off with the way she was telling him to stop "mansplaining" her and to "zip it".  I thought he was trying to be humorous but she was taking it the wrong way.  She presumes the worst with him but he is just about the nicest guy ever so it's not fair to him.  He has been an absolute SAINT about it, too.

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3 hours ago, Iamthatmom said:

I signed up just to talk about this crazy show! First of all, wash your damn hair Amber!!! I don’t find her attractive at all and the hair just makes it worse. She does have a cute figure though!

Amber makes me think of YouTube's Jenna Marbles and her video "3 looks".  Jenna says she has 3 looks and can't dress any other way.  One look is hooker, the other is homeless man and the other is 12 year old boy.  Like in this video (NSFW).  With her it's a joke, but with Amber it's for real, LOL:

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3 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

Nah, he's not even making his 2am curfew.

Yep the eye rolling necessary to watch this is a 10    He actually said the words he has invested so much and sacrificed that they can’t even know.. 

Both Deona and Iris say “like” like a teen. 

I agree the only stable participants and worth are Greg and Keith. 

The posters who predicted the couples who stay change  their mind yet? 

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Not  I,  said the little red hen. To reiterate:

STAY: Jamie and Elizabeth. Greg and Deonna. 

SPLIT: Keith and Iris. Matt and Amber. These men do not have the Look of Love when they gaze upon their wives. Keith has "tolerance," and Matt has "no there, there."

Edited by LennieBriscoe
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3 hours ago, ramble said:

I’m an unapologetic Deonna and Greg cheerleader so take this with a grain of salt but I feel like there are times when I catch little moments where you can really see their affection. I think they’re intentionally being less direct on camera and and saving a lot of things for their private time. 

Me too. I love both.  Perfect for each other.  

Missed first time convo where Amber discloses Matt out every day with friends coming home late.  That shows he’s not ready.  Maybe never will be.  

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7 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Nobody stays out 6 nights a week until 2a.m. Unless....you have another girl/guy. I suspect our boy Matt is cheating but wants the money from the show so he's going to continue to lie his ass off. 

As the saying goes, ain’t nothing open that late but legs. I don’t think the other couples were buying his idiotic spiel but they had to appear interested for the cameras. Everybody but Liz was playing along. 

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9 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

First time Deonna's getting on my nervous... maybe Greg will get a sticker for being such a good boy eating bugs for her.

Greg wearing his participation sticker while looking for the nearest trash can so he can puke lol

dont_bug_me_square_sticker-r09e2150195e0462bb8e6c8954bb69baf_v9wf3_8byvr_512.jpg

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5 hours ago, Soup333 said:

As the saying goes, ain’t nothing open that late but legs.

I'd never heard this expression but I'm stealing it.

Amber looks totally beaten down. She reminds me of Tristan, who constantly looked miserable dealing with all of Mia's fuckery.

Did I hear Matt say "Nah, I don't do that" when Amber asked him if he was going to brush his teeth? Ew!

Edited by Empress1
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6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think Amber is on to Matt by now.  She looks defeated and seems aware that he doesn't find her attractive.  She wondered why he had sex with her at all if he wasn't really attracted to her - She doesn't understand douchbags like that very well.  They'd have sex with the wall if it let them.  When he was spewing all that BS that made the others go "awww", Amber was very quietly trying not to react, but it was obvious to me that she was not buying it one bit.  Like I said, she's onto him by now.  I don't see the same desperate optimist in her anymore.  Thank goodness, I actually think she may have some backbone and common sense in her somewhere.

Agree 100%. Amber partially redeemed herself in my eyes with that talk she had with lemonade in the woods.  she showed that she is finally aware of matts all talk without any apparent follow thru or actions. the fact that she said that matt is just blowing smoke up everyones ass in the couples session shows that she is more than just on to matt. amber also mentioned that matt had fallen back to the old "not coming back home" habit after awhile and that she knows that he puts matt 1st and amber 2nd. so hopefully she can see the red flags and hear the alarm bells thats right in front of her.

Now if only the spineless barnacle bride will finally open her eyes and ears and start listening to her head and not to her clingy 24/7 that got me into this mess heart, then maybe she will see the light and dump that poor mans tattooed thoughtless brain dead nomad chia pet.

Also on a side note, a chia pet has a much higher IQ than matt and a much better purpose in life too hahaha

So wake up girl and kick that lumbering mumbling idiot to the curb on D-Day.

Team Amber !!!  😜😜

Edited by STRIDER1
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9 hours ago, PityFree said:

If I had been in the cabin with Elizabeth when the bear showed up I would have pushed her out the door locked it behind her.

And I would have been right behind you pushing her!  Can not stand her!!!

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24 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Did I hear Matt say "Nah, I don't do that" when Amber asked him if he was going to brush hist teeth? Ew!

 

Yes that is correct. what a total dipshit huh? hahaha

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13 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

He's your grown ass man husband Deonna, not your little boy.

He's the one begging for compliments! So damn needy! Remember when she said Sandy was such a pretty girl? 😂😂 All that matters is what works for them. He's too afraid of feedback. If he wants specific compliments, he should say so!

Edited by Lindz
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The only couple I see a chance with is Greg and Deanna but I fear Greg may not be willing to wait as long as it takes for her to loosen up enough. He's trying but he wants more.

Dislike Liz so intensely and think Jamie would be different and even likeable with someone else but she is just too extreme and narcissistic for him. I think she is probably always hyper and we don't see a lot of it, just when it gets to the point where Jamie can't contain himself, which is what the show producers want to show.

I dislike Iris and Matt too - just very boring and blah personalities.  I think a better match would have been them as a couple and Amber and Keith as a couple.  Not saying that they would necessarily be a love match, but a better match than what these "experts" put together.

And I think Iris sees herself as the next Jamie Otis the way she was trying to be the moderator when the girls had their little talk fest. But as much as I dislike Jamie and her way too long extensions, I could not suffer thru Iris in that role.

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1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

Did I hear Matt say "Nah, I don't do that" when Amber asked him if he was going to brush hist teeth? Ew!

Then before lights out he was brushing them. I got soooooo confused. 

Damn editors.

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That looked like a wolf spider to me, those things can get HUGE!  I truly hate spiders and I was disappointed that the others didn't dispose of it when they first saw it or at least warn Iris and Keith.  EEEWWWW ! ! ! !

And, if I saw a real live bear casually walking around the parking lot you would NEVER get me out there to take a hike, as much as I love to hike!  Was that just for the cameras maybe?

Watching Jamie's talking head where he says about Liz "She's unpredictable and I like that about her" got me thinking that I wonder if the producers have them film pre-planned confessionals right after the weddings and before they really get to know their spouse.  Because it really felt like Jamie (the show) was gaslighting the audience into thinking "yeah, those two crazy kids just may work it out" to keep us guessing until decision day.  Honestly, Jamie hurls cruel insults at Liz and she flips a table and we're supposed to think they have a chance?!?!

I'm sure (hope?) Amber has gotten Matt's message and is just trying to make nice until decision day when she's outta there. 

I'm so disappointed that Iris and Keith did not click better.  They look good together. 

If Deonna had any doubts about Greg's commitment to her, they should have been laid to rest when he ate those nasty dried bugs for her!  We had a Fear Factor crossover going on there!

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22 minutes ago, suzeecat said:

And, if I saw a real live bear casually walking around the parking lot you would NEVER get me out there to take a hike, as much as I love to hike! 

I was bugging out. I laughed at Greg's reaction - y'all ain't sending the Black man out there to get eaten or mauled! There was a sign on the wall of the cabin that talked about what to do if you saw a bear but I couldn't read it - they didn't show it clearly. I'd also have killed that spider the second I saw it, and fuck how Elizabeth felt about it. I wouldn't have been interested in foraging either. When I saw the baskets I thought "Maybe they're going apple picking," which I would do (and have done).

Every time I see Elizabeth and Jamie I think "He's a narcissist and she is INCREDIBLY annoying, and they are toxic together." I don't enjoy watching either of them.

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12 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I was bugging out. I laughed at Greg's reaction - y'all ain't sending the Black man out there

I choked on blackberry sorbet, do any of you know how painful it is choking on blackberry sorbet?  {Though sorry Greg, that's a myth.  You'll probably die, but it won't be first.}  I like Greg so much, but I can't shake the feeling he'll be divorcing Deonna.  He doesn't seem as here-for-it as he did earlier.  If he does choose to walk away, my boy's DMs will look like a Slip N' Slide. 

Mamber and Jalizabeth are so intolerable that I hope they stay together just to spare the rest of the world from their crap.  Matt in particular I hope to never see again because listening to him speak is so painful.  He sounds like an early-version GPS. 

Keith and Iris remain the greatest.  Hey, and she has actual earring holes, who knew? 

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11 hours ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Matt, you’re spending six of seven nights a week out on the town and coming home at 2 a.m.  The one who should be thinking about things and considering it from all angles is your poor, desperate wife, not your goofy ass.  Now, go put on some pants so I don’t have to look at your inner thighs while I’m trying to eat my dinner. 

This is a quality, factual read.

Don't forget he also has no job so, I don't understand why he can't get the alone time he needs during the day. Considering starting the car detail business obviously isn't taking up that much time.

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Um, yeah, Matt & Amber decided to take sex off the table so that can get to know each other on an emotional level. 

Um, yeah.  

Except that Matt doesn’t need sex from Amber because he’s being worn out by the girls he’s doing it with every night. 

Out with his “boys”.  Yeah. 

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I also cracked up at the interview talking head they added when the forager wanted Greg to eat the whatever. In the talking head he was like "Nope, nah, nuh-uh" while shaking his head. I like Greg a lot. He really does seem like a good guy.

Actually, I think all the times I laughed had to do with Greg. I definitely laughed when he was throwing the axe. I laughed when Deonna was like "I'm-a just move over here ..."

18 minutes ago, Drogo said:

If he does choose to walk away, my boy's DMs will look like a Slip N' Slide. 

LISTEN. I haven't forgotten his double ovens.

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13 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Shallow question:

Anybody know where I can find that grey throw Elizabeth and Jamie have? The one she keeps wrapping up in.

I actually have it - it's super soft. I just looked at the tag and it says the company is Kensie Home. https://www.potterybarn.com/products/faux-fur-ombre-throw-collection/?catalogId=84&sku=1251821&cm_ven=PLA&cm_cat=Google&cm_pla=Pillows %26 Decor > Throws %26 Blankets&cm_ite=1251821&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiOH_6qOo5AIVCcRkCh13hAHLEAQYBSABEgJpJ_D_BwE

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2 hours ago, Lindz said:

He's the one begging for compliments. So damn needy! Remember when she told Sandy she was such a pretty girl? 😂😂

I like Greg & Deonna, &  like them together, but, her way about her last night, well... I feel "good job" is condescending when said to an adult. I also don't feel like he had some obligation to eat bugs for her. I understand she wants someone to share experiences with, I really do. He's not averse to that at all & has proved it. It should be okay for him to say "nah, I'll pass" on a few things - it's not like he was ignoring her; he was there with her the whole time, tried a piece of plant lol, etc.

Again, I like them both & together, but I don't like a guy turning into a lapdog. It will get old for both, or at least for him eventually.  But again, I do hope this is just for the show so we have something to talk about & they're in a good place that will last.

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6 hours ago, cinsays said:

Dislike Liz so intensely and think Jamie would be different and even likeable with someone else but she is just too extreme and narcissistic for him.

Eh. He's in control of how he acts & it doesn't matter who he's with, it's not okay to abuse & call a spouse names, threaten divorce, and leave. He'd probably act that way with ANY difficulty & find some issue with anyone. I think he'd be like the husband in Sleeping with the Enemy if he had a more subdued wife. He's psycho.

Edited by Lindz
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Quote

Matt wants a relationship and not just a sex partner. I like him.  He thinks before responding and takes things slow.  A very mature guy. He wil be a good husband and father.

Wait - Matt? Matt who is married to Amber?

I think he's exactly the opposite. I think he wants to still be single and play the field. He does think before he speaks but only so he can spin the best bullshit possible. I think he's totally immature and a lousy husband. I don't see him as good father material. Maybe someday but not now.

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13 hours ago, Cammi said:

Sorry but don’t blame him. I don’t cozy up to bones. Girl like a praying mantis. And he obviously isn’t attracted to her. For whatever reason. 

Ouch.  I think she is quite stunning to look at and has a beautiful figure.  Some people are just thin.  Maybe I just take that a little too personally - being naturally thin, I cannot count how many women have told me I need to 'eat a sandwich' or have said 'Only dogs like bones, REAL women have curves'.   It's just mean.  There is a lid for every sized pot.

Now if we were discussing her personality (or lack thereof...)

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12 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

And is Matt completely incapable of reading a room? No one seemed too thrilled when he first started chortling about taking a high-powered rifle out to see the bear.

Oh Matt... so tall, so full of shit.  Yes, of course you hunt large game with high powered firearms, we believe you...  I also believe you play fake basketball games and get your ass kicked everyday.  Have fun exerting your power over tiny women who are obsessed with you for no reason at all.  

p.s. That bear was so cute and furry; he looked like he wanted me to lay on him.  Where does "hugging the shit out of him" rank on the Google list of Things to Do in a Bear Encounter? 

12 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

Beth needs to realize Matt wants a relationship and not just a sex partner. I like him.  He thinks before responding and takes things slow.

Autocorrect: "He thinks before responding and takes things slow."

Just now, Stella Rose said:

Ouch.  I think she is quite stunning to look at and has a beautiful figure.  Some people are just thin.  Maybe I just take that a little too personally - being naturally thin, I cannot count how many women have told me I need to 'eat a sandwich' or have said 'Only dogs like bones, REAL women have curves'.   It's just mean.  There is a lid for every sized pot.

Now if we were discussing her personality (or lack thereof...)

And there are some lids that fit multiple pots, whether the pot is tall/thin or short/stocky or some other combination.  If the lid likes what the pot is cookin' it'll fit.

That said, Iris is beautiful.. and she's a doll.  Yeah, she's uptight about sex but I can't look at her using the lens of a grown up so I try to remember how girls acted before sex was on the table, and she's pretty cool by that standard.  I wish she would take mom's advice and "dive right in, the water's fine."   

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I'm pretty sure Keith will say a NO, or is severely leaning to NO, but when he talks his words all sound very neutral and middle of the road.  Thinking he's a No, and then hearing him talk, I can think he is being a genius with his words and just hiding his No stance.

Now, he did say twice, he wanted Iris to want to be married to him FOR HIM and not just that she wanted to be married in general, or to stay married in "this" marriage she finds herself in.  If that is his real criteria, then maybe it falls on his view of Iris intentions and abilities.....

   (which then I would help him and say "no" for him)

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20 minutes ago, Stella Rose said:

Ouch.  I think she is quite stunning to look at and has a beautiful figure.  Some people are just thin.  Maybe I just take that a little too personally - being naturally thin, I cannot count how many women have told me I need to 'eat a sandwich' or have said 'Only dogs like bones, REAL women have curves'.   It's just mean.  There is a lid for every sized pot.

Now if we were discussing her personality (or lack thereof...)

Ouch! May whoever said that hurtful sh*t to you live eternally with an unreachable popcorn hull stuck between their teeth.

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Just now, red12 said:

Ouch! May whoever said that hurtful sh*t to you live eternally with an unreachable popcorn hull stuck between their teeth.

Thank you Red, you are too kind.  (we will need a lot of popcorn!).  It's pretty common.  At this point I just ignore it and realize they must have bigger self esteem issues than I do.

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Why oh why do we have to have Liz-splosion on every episode of Unfiltered? I think she's after Jamie's job too. Oh maybe the producer's just think she's "good TV". And Liz, pull your skirt down, we don't need to see all that. 

Matt sounded like he was just (slowly) regurgitating snippets of stuff he'd heard from the experts. Not buying it Stretch.

I want to be on the Greg and Denonna cheerleading squad too please. 

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16 hours ago, Elizabete said:

It is as clear to everyone but Amber that Matt is only doing the show for a paycheck and to be a future reality “star”. He should marry a Kardashian for the number of collective brain cells between them could be counted on one hand. 

Kim K. was married to a b-ball player once; we all saw how long that lasted! 😉

15 hours ago, Iamthatmom said:

Iris. I just can’t. I was 29 when I lost my virginity so I get being a late bloomer. But why did she have a NuvaRing bag in her suitcase? 👀👀👀👀 

In all fairness, there are other uses for hormonal contraception other than birth control.

Edited by discoprincessthe2
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16 hours ago, Retired at last said:

Or some of her extensions!

Those hair extensions look ridiculous especially when they are so long and you can see hair sticking out showing her real hair.  Stupid.

15 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Deonna's neck has the lines of an elderly woman. Compare to Iris's neck.

I've remarked on that before.  Probably something she can't change but I really wish she would use some kind of matte something on her face.  She glows and really shines too brightly.

14 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Nobody stays out 6 nights a week until 2a.m. Unless....you have another girl/guy. I suspect our boy Matt is cheating but wants the money from the show so he's going to continue to lie his ass off. 

In the coming attractions Ambers friend mentions he saw Matt out with another girl.  I think it's over for them and they are just staying per the contract they signed.  I feel so sorry for Amber because I think her heart was in the right place coming in.

5 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I'd never heard this expression but I'm stealing it.

Amber looks totally beaten down. She reminds me of Tristan, who constantly looked miserable dealing with all of Mia's fuckery.

Did I hear Matt say "Nah, I don't do that" when Amber asked him if he was going to brush his teeth? Ew!

I never heard 'nothing's open but legs' either.  I'm putting that one in my pocket.  Amber looks terrible anytime dealing with Matt.  She did look quite perky on the tell all show.   I bet Matt's hygiene is bad...bad...the mind wanders to really bad!

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13 hours ago, ramble said:

I’m an unapologetic Deonna and Greg cheerleader so take this with a grain of salt but I feel like there are times when I catch little moments where you can really see their affection. I think they’re intentionally being less direct on camera and and saving a lot of things for their private time. 

SAME! I have been lurking here for a few seasons and I finally had to pop in to say I truly do not understand all the Deonna hate. I have tried so hard to hear this baby voice people seem to despise and I am just not catching it. I find myself smiling so hard every time they are onscreen. They are the only couple in the history of the series that I would love to be friends with IRL. (I would hang out with Anthony and Bobby, too, but that's about it.) Certainly she is being a bit slow in building up her trust with him, and I agree that there has got to be more trauma to her high school sweetheart story than she has revealed to make her so gun shy. Despite all that, I see true affection when they are together. I think that is the biggest difference between them and the other couples - they both seem completely genuine with each other. They don't seem performative to me like others *coughIriscough* and they don't make big fake speeches *coughMattcough* or unapologetic proclamations *coughElizabethcough* about themselves. They are just being themselves and I think they have great chemistry, personality-wise. I am rooting for them big time. Thank you to all the other D&G supporters here - I see you and I appreciate your comments.

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3 hours ago, NoWhammies said:

Who is better than you??? Nobody! That's who. Thanks much.

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