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Cheryl & Josh: Netflix & Kill

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After two years of dating, serial killer-obsessed Cheryl is eagerly awaiting the release of her lover, Josh, who has been locked up for bank robbery. As happy as these lovers may seem, unsupportive family members are convinced their relationship will never work. And, it doesn’t help that Cheryl’s sister, who is a correctional officer, is sounding the alarm and believes she’s making a mistake that could endanger her and her three children. Despite warnings, Cheryl persists in her pursuit for true love and plans to marry Josh once he’s out. Will these lovebirds make it down the aisle or will their families drive a wedge between them?

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Cheryl is awful. How dare she force her frail parents to watch her kids like that? She didn’t even ask them, did she? I hate her for that. It is hard to watch little kids and her parents look like they struggle with their health.

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1 minute ago, sasha206 said:

How old is Cheryl supposed to be?  My God, that face is old looking.  The eyebrows and teeth are killing me.

29 or 30, I think?

I believe that if she'd gain 15-20 pounds, and fix a couple of wonky teeth, she'd be pretty.  Also pretty stupid.  Heh.

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3 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

This moron took her fresh out of prison boyfriend to open a bank account.....with what money exactly? 

Probably her money, instead of spending it on her kids.

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To save you guys, I have read Josh's book, Message in Blood, and I'll now tell you about it.

I will be spoiling, so if you want to read it yourself, just be prepared for graphic violence, racism, and crimes against the English language.

Our protagonist, Jace White, is a super buff, tall, handsome man about to get out of prison after serving 6 of 12 years for bank robbery.  But before he goes, he almost gets involved in a race war to support his cellmate, a guy described as having, "the physique of a professional handball player".  

When his mom and grandma pick him up at the bus station, they tell him that his younger sister OD'd a few days ago, and is dead.  His sister, named Destiny, leaves behind two daughters, Serenity and Eternity.

Jace decides that there's no way she would have overdosed, despite being a drug user, so he must now hunt down her killer to exact justice.  He gathers up a posse of his old friends to help him write a message in blood.  

At the hospital to get a copy of the autopsy report, they find the file sealed by a local cop named Girly.  But the receptionist/nurse is a chick named Amber who went to school with Jace and thinks he's hot, so she reads the sealed records and learns that Destiny died with sinus cavities full of coke, heroin, and broken glass.  

Conveniently, Amber has the same dealer as Destiny, a "black" named JoJo.  She tells Jace who kidnaps, questions, and kills JoJo, after being given a new lead about who was really responsible.  

Now he's after a Mexican named Lazy.  And his cousin Vern.  Kidnaps, questions, kills.  Now onto the next person.

Another Mexican named Criminal.  Kills accidentally, kidnaps, questions, and kills another dude.

Turns out the REAL bad guys are Girly and another cop who killed Destiny because she knew they were shaking down local dealers for bribes.  

So Jace kidnaps and kills them both too, leaving his message in blood before going back to prison.

In the midst of all this, Jace falls for Amber and one of their sex scenes includes the term "love paddles" for labia.

Jace is also incapable of calling anyone anything but dog, homie, or pussy.  8 million times.

It is also clear that the author has been to prison since like half the book is descriptions of all the forensic counter measures Jace and his dogs take during their spree.

Oh, there's also a line about all of Jace's "face grief being used up, but he still felt it in his heart".

The racism also shows which groups probably owned Josh inside.  And he doesn't understand guns, since Jace kept cocking his randomly, which is a great way to shoot yourself accidentally.

If you are able to ignore all the dialog, it's not the worst thing I've ever read.  It reminded me of the plot of countless action movies.  I don't curse the time I spent reading it, but I'm not waiting anxiously for a sequel.

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16 hours ago, Kangatush said:

To save you guys, I have read Josh's book, Message in Blood, and I'll now tell you about it.

I will be spoiling, so if you want to read it yourself, just be prepared for graphic violence, racism, and crimes against the English language.

Our protagonist, Jace White, is a super buff, tall, handsome man about to get out of prison after serving 6 of 12 years for bank robbery.  But before he goes, he almost gets involved in a race war to support his cellmate, a guy described as having, "the physique of a professional handball player".  

When his mom and grandma pick him up at the bus station, they tell him that his younger sister OD'd a few days ago, and is dead.  His sister, named Destiny, leaves behind two daughters, Serenity and Eternity.

Jace decides that there's no way she would have overdosed, despite being a drug user, so he must now hunt down her killer to exact justice.  He gathers up a posse of his old friends to help him write a message in blood.  

At the hospital to get a copy of the autopsy report, they find the file sealed by a local cop named Girly.  But the receptionist/nurse is a chick named Amber who went to school with Jace and thinks he's hot, so she reads the sealed records and learns that Destiny died with sinus cavities full of coke, heroin, and broken glass.  

Conveniently, Amber has the same dealer as Destiny, a "black" named JoJo.  She tells Jace who kidnaps, questions, and kills JoJo, after being given a new lead about who was really responsible.  

Now he's after a Mexican named Lazy.  And his cousin Vern.  Kidnaps, questions, kills.  Now onto the next person.

Another Mexican named Criminal.  Kills accidentally, kidnaps, questions, and kills another dude.

Turns out the REAL bad guys are Girly and another cop who killed Destiny because she knew they were shaking down local dealers for bribes.  

So Jace kidnaps and kills them both too, leaving his message in blood before going back to prison.

In the midst of all this, Jace falls for Amber and one of their sex scenes includes the term "love paddles" for labia.

Jace is also incapable of calling anyone anything but dog, homie, or pussy.  8 million times.

It is also clear that the author has been to prison since like half the book is descriptions of all the forensic counter measures Jace and his dogs take during their spree.

Oh, there's also a line about all of Jace's "face grief being used up, but he still felt it in his heart".

The racism also shows which groups probably owned Josh inside.  And he doesn't understand guns, since Jace kept cocking his randomly, which is a great way to shoot yourself accidentally.

If you are able to ignore all the dialog, it's not the worst thing I've ever read.  It reminded me of the plot of countless action movies.  I don't curse the time I spent reading it, but I'm not waiting anxiously for a sequel.

You are doing THE LORD’S WORK 🙌 He obviously self published without an editor 

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On 10/11/2019 at 8:43 PM, Kangatush said:

Now he's after a Mexican named Lazy.  And his cousin Vern.  Kidnaps, questions, kills.  Now onto the next person.

Another Mexican named Criminal.  Kills accidentally, kidnaps, questions, and kills another dude.

One wonders how JoJo and Vern were able to escape without unflattering sobriquets. Unless “JoJo” and “Vern” are prison slang for some other epithets...?

Edited by nutella fitzgerald · Reason: Somehow I missed Vern
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10 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

One wonders how JoJo and Vern were able to escape without unflattering sobriquets. Unless “JoJo” and “Vern” are prison slang for some other epithets...?

I was thinking that his list of insults ended after Lazy and Criminal.  

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@Kangatush, thanks for your review of Josh's book. Was this a self-published effort? If so, he must've spent some of his bank robbery proceeds; his mom doesn't appear to have extra dough lying around, but who knows. Did you purchase it from Amazon?

I guess if I had to pick a favorite criminal, Josh would be it. Cheryl's no prize, and hopefully he'll find someone not so irresponsible and crazy who would be an asset (?editor) for his writing career. I remember the true crime magazines from the 60s that I borrowed from my mom. She always encouraged us to read. 

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8 hours ago, Rt66vintage said:

@Kangatush, thanks for your review of Josh's book. Was this a self-published effort? If so, he must've spent some of his bank robbery proceeds; his mom doesn't appear to have extra dough lying around, but who knows. Did you purchase it from Amazon?

I guess if I had to pick a favorite criminal, Josh would be it. Cheryl's no prize, and hopefully he'll find someone not so irresponsible and crazy who would be an asset (?editor) for his writing career. I remember the true crime magazines from the 60s that I borrowed from my mom. She always encouraged us to read. 

I feel it was self published.  I never saw anything indicating anything different.  I did get it on Amazon, but I didn't really purchase it.  I have Kindle Unlimited which is kind of like a $10 a month library.  I can borrow as many e-books from their list (many 1000s of new and old stuff) as I want, 10 at a time.  

Honestly, I finished the book like a week ago, and I'm still haunted by the line about his celly having the physique of a professional handball player.  What does that mean?  Do those exist?  Why pick that as a reference?

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On 10/11/2019 at 7:43 PM, Kangatush said:

To save you guys, I have read Josh's book, Message in Blood, and I'll now tell you about it.

In the midst of all this, Jace falls for Amber and one of their sex scenes includes the term "love paddles" for labia.

This is the most disturbing part.  And there are MANY disturbing parts.  Is it a true story?

And again, moderators - can we PLEASE get a "puke" reaction added??  It is sorely needed!  I would use it more than "sad" or "surprised."

A quick question about kindle unlimited - are all books included or do you ever come across a book that isn't included in the unlimited plan?  I kind of want to do it, but I also HATE giving any more money to amazon - it should be included in the $100+ we pay for amazon prime every year.  This would basically double the amount I pay to that awful company.  But maybe I will get it, I mean... for content like THIS, how can I not?  🙂

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18 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

A quick question about kindle unlimited - are all books included or do you ever come across a book that isn't included in the unlimited plan?  I kind of want to do it, but I also HATE giving any more money to amazon - it should be included in the $100+ we pay for amazon prime every year.  This would basically double the amount I pay to that awful company.  But maybe I will get it, I mean... for content like THIS, how can I not?  🙂

It's not every book, but it has many more new books than Prime (which also lets you "check out" books for free).  I read like breathing, so it's completely worth it to me.  You can poke around kindle unlimited on the Amazon site to see if there's enough to interest you.

This is not a true story, this is Josh bored in prison and deciding to write.  There certainly were worse ways to spend his time.

Edited by Kangatush
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@Kangatush, thanks for writing back. So he published it as an e-book. Dare I say, good for him? It shows some effort. Weird about his handball physique reference, probably someone he admired either in or out of prison. Is handball still as popular as it was in the 70s & 80s? Maybe his dad played it. Someone on YouTube will interview Josh more than likely. 

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On 10/15/2019 at 11:13 AM, heatherchandler said:

A quick question about kindle unlimited - are all books included or do you ever come across a book that isn't included in the unlimited plan?  I kind of want to do it, but I also HATE giving any more money to amazon - it should be included in the $100+ we pay for amazon prime every year.  This would basically double the amount I pay to that awful company.  But maybe I will get it, I mean... for content like THIS, how can I not?  🙂

I also have a hard time giving my money to Amazon; they suck balls. I have a kindle but I only download free books and there are a ton of them. Just put $0 in the search box and it will show you everything that is available and free. I have read several hundred free books on there. 

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On 10/11/2019 at 5:43 PM, Kangatush said:

To save you guys, I have read Josh's book, Message in Blood, and I'll now tell you about it.

I will be spoiling, so if you want to read it yourself, just be prepared for graphic violence, racism, and crimes against the English language.

Our protagonist, Jace White, is a super buff, tall, handsome man about to get out of prison after serving 6 of 12 years for bank robbery.  But before he goes, he almost gets involved in a race war to support his cellmate, a guy described as having, "the physique of a professional handball player".  

When his mom and grandma pick him up at the bus station, they tell him that his younger sister OD'd a few days ago, and is dead.  His sister, named Destiny, leaves behind two daughters, Serenity and Eternity.

Jace decides that there's no way she would have overdosed, despite being a drug user, so he must now hunt down her killer to exact justice.  He gathers up a posse of his old friends to help him write a message in blood.  

At the hospital to get a copy of the autopsy report, they find the file sealed by a local cop named Girly.  But the receptionist/nurse is a chick named Amber who went to school with Jace and thinks he's hot, so she reads the sealed records and learns that Destiny died with sinus cavities full of coke, heroin, and broken glass.  

Conveniently, Amber has the same dealer as Destiny, a "black" named JoJo.  She tells Jace who kidnaps, questions, and kills JoJo, after being given a new lead about who was really responsible.  

Now he's after a Mexican named Lazy.  And his cousin Vern.  Kidnaps, questions, kills.  Now onto the next person.

Another Mexican named Criminal.  Kills accidentally, kidnaps, questions, and kills another dude.

Turns out the REAL bad guys are Girly and another cop who killed Destiny because she knew they were shaking down local dealers for bribes.  

So Jace kidnaps and kills them both too, leaving his message in blood before going back to prison.

In the midst of all this, Jace falls for Amber and one of their sex scenes includes the term "love paddles" for labia.

Jace is also incapable of calling anyone anything but dog, homie, or pussy.  8 million times.

It is also clear that the author has been to prison since like half the book is descriptions of all the forensic counter measures Jace and his dogs take during their spree.

Oh, there's also a line about all of Jace's "face grief being used up, but he still felt it in his heart".

The racism also shows which groups probably owned Josh inside.  And he doesn't understand guns, since Jace kept cocking his randomly, which is a great way to shoot yourself accidentally.

If you are able to ignore all the dialog, it's not the worst thing I've ever read.  It reminded me of the plot of countless action movies.  I don't curse the time I spent reading it, but I'm not waiting anxiously for a sequel.

Thanks for taking one for the team, @Kangatush.  At least he's attempting to do something productive, so kudos to him for that endeavor.

On 10/15/2019 at 9:13 AM, heatherchandler said:

This is the most disturbing part.  And there are MANY disturbing parts.  Is it a true story?

And again, moderators - can we PLEASE get a "puke" reaction added??  It is sorely needed!  I would use it more than "sad" or "surprised."

A quick question about kindle unlimited - are all books included or do you ever come across a book that isn't included in the unlimited plan?  I kind of want to do it, but I also HATE giving any more money to amazon - it should be included in the $100+ we pay for amazon prime every year.  This would basically double the amount I pay to that awful company.  But maybe I will get it, I mean... for content like THIS, how can I not?  🙂

I would use it more, too!  They do have one available for an actual post in the emoticon section I recently discovered (because I'm sometimes completely oblivious and it's probably been available for eons now).  🤢

I'm looking forward to tonight's Adventures of the Chucklefucks.  I'm waiting to see Alex tell Glorihallelujah about his "real" girlfriend.  Stocked up on pinot noir and popcorn and ready to go!  

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On 10/11/2019 at 8:43 PM, Kangatush said:

If you are able to ignore all the dialog, it's not the worst thing I've ever read.  It reminded me of the plot of countless action movies.  I don't curse the time I spent reading it, but I'm not waiting anxiously for a sequel.

I'm amazed he's written something at all, much less that it's not the worst thing you've ever read.  The racism and misogyny are to be expected, I suppose, but I'm left with sort of a regret that someone capable of writing a book lived his life so that he spent so much time in jail, getting infected with that shit.  What might have been, I guess.

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Josh is one of the few ex-prisoners who doesn’t have face piercings, awful teeth, or neck tattoos. That, along with the ability to read and write, will help him find employment. 

If he can ditch Cheryl and learn to control his lack of respect for authority and impulsivity, he might have a chance of not going back to jail.

Edited by PityFree · Reason: Oxford commas, FTW
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Y’all following the Facebook drama where Josh says Cheryl wanted to leave her kids with her sex offender brother and calls her family inbred? 

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16 hours ago, Cammi said:

Y’all following the Facebook drama where Josh says Cheryl wanted to leave her kids with her sex offender brother and calls her family inbred? 

I listen to a podcast called "Love After Lockup Cray-Cray" and they referenced this, as well as Cheryl's thinly veiled mom-son incest intimation re: Josh and his mother. A MESS.

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3 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I listen to a podcast called "Love After Lockup Cray-Cray" and they referenced this, as well as Cheryl's thinly veiled mom-son incest intimation re: Josh and his mother. A MESS.

I listened to the most recent episode of that podcast on my way to work, and I was rolling with laughter in my car!  That's a funny one.

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Back to Josh's book, the Amazon page for Message in Blood has an "about the author" wherein he talks about himself. Interesting how he described the feeling of wielding a gun at another human being. I hope he's not an adrenaline junkie, and I want him to succeed. 

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Okay, was it  Josh who had the affectionate pet name of "Turd Burglar" for Cheryl? I had never heard anyone use that phrase before, and yet last week it was also the title for the new SOUTH PARK episode. 

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1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

Okay, was it  Josh who had the affectionate pet name of "Turd Burglar" for Cheryl? I had never heard anyone use that phrase before, and yet last week it was also the title for the new SOUTH PARK episode. 

Yep.  I used to hear that phrase when I was a kid.

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46 minutes ago, OnceSane said:

Yep.  I used to hear that phrase when I was a kid.

I had never heard it, but isn't it funny how once something gets on your radar you start hearing and seeing it everywhere?

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I'm not even a little surprised that Cheryl was fine leaving her children with a sex offender.  

I think Cheryl is legitimately nuts.  If two grown people are talking behind closed doors I'm probably going to knock if I need to come in.  The only way she'd know that the door was locked is if she tried busting in.  Which supports josh's narrative that if he spent even a little time with his mom Cheryl became erratic and weird.  

He can miss me with judging her for stripping though.  HE is perfectly happy to take Cheryl's stripping money.  

Edited by RealReality
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Wow those messages are messy, messy, messy! 

I'm not a fan of racists, so I don't think I'm fond of josh, but I think I believe him.  If she has these pictures of him breaking up drugs she needs to post them or get off the pot.  

He doesn't come off as an addict, but Cheryl absolutely does.  I can't figure out who Ralph is, but anyways everyone involved here is messy trash and I hope to see them on my TV again.  Maybe Cheryl can just leave her kids with her sister this time. 

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