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S09.E11: Secrets of the Past

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On 8/24/2019 at 12:05 AM, gingerandcloves said:

Stranger talking to Amber (not sure who this is, friend? relative?) "If someone doesn't see you for what you're worth, then they don't deserve you." Amber is crying and wiping her eyes.

Raven is talking to Amber! He's her friend that went through the process with her. He's so yum! 😍

Edited by Lindz
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20 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

Thanks!

Unpopular opinion here, but I cannot agree at all.  Keith has checked out and is simply playing a no-resistance approach.  To be the shining star, as I do believe Greg is, you have to be actively participating in trying to make the marriage better.  Keith is not doing that at all...he is simply being chill and going-along-to-get-along to look like a nice good guy until payday.  I actually agree with him doing that...he is in a no-win situation with Iris' prized virginity.  But he is not trying to make the marriage better.  If he were, he would have expressed his true feelings to her about her 'secret' answer, and he would have had conversations with her about their physical and emotional intimacy and how to get from where they are to where they would like to be.

I am so happy to hear this.  I really thought he was enamored with her, but hoping he really isn’t.  Honestly, I want to see her get the boot.  She’s too full of herself.

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In the preview Amber's friend is named Raven...suspect he is a warlock.

Iris ramps up the Virg drama because she wants to hog the camera from Lizzy who has resorted to coffee table violence to get attention...

It was useless having them all in the Solis Apartments if they weren't going to have each other over for fondue parties, wine o'clock evenings or group hot tub soaks.

Agree that Keith has turned off the engine, stuck it in Neutral and is coasting to the end.....

 Matt is so chatty now...

He is talking his way outta Teacher's life...she is all shrugs, wet eyes and sad faces....

Think the Greg talking over Deonna is just their couple shtick...the simultaneous convos that get their points across to no one...

 Deonna has a happy happy family...her face lights up when she is with them...will her face ever be that happy when Greg walks into a room...TBD

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6 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

My predictions:

Greg - yes; Deonna - yes

Jamie - yes; Elizabeth - yes

Matt - no; Amber - yes (maybe?)

Keith - no; Iris - yes

I could see all that happening.  Keith is the only one I wonder about saying no because he seems to like many things about her, except when she acts 12.  I don’t think he’s holding out for a check.  I think he’s weighing the two sides of Iris, or seemed to be in recent weeks per the THs/Unfiltered/chat with Cal, and when he’s talked to Iris about his concern and while talking with his mom.  She may have her own reservations but often says she wants to let him know she’s all in.  I don’t know if they’re enough for her to say no at the end of this and agree her answer could be yes.  All the people voluntarily got themselves into this MAFS thing but Decision Day must really be a challenge for some nonetheless.  

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1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

It was useless having them all in the Solis Apartments if they weren't going to have each other over for fondue parties, wine o'clock evenings or group hot tub soaks.

IIRC Poseur Cal said interaction of the characters was the reason for the focused location.

Seems that the real reason was to receive something of value so they did not pay as much, or at all, for the characters rental homes.  They may have even received payment from the Silos for all the promotion.  

Production had to be a great deal easier when a lot of the camera crew's work was in the same location, the camera crew could even be housed at the Silo.

Useless to us, useful to production.

Edited by Liberty
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Okay... let's all suppose Iris has penetrating sex....and no longer considers herself  Air quotes "a virginny"

She will still be making Ms. Ick faces and over dramatically reacting to anything she thinks is sexually distasteful or out of her perceived comfort zone...like Keith's fave doggie-cise

Plus she will be more insufferable... bellowing about the act that ended her era of Air quotes "purity" (o brother) and will be an instantly more irritating in her THs weeping about the loss of her identity....

Iris may be more tolerable staying in her present state of no hot dog thrown down her hallway....

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10 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

My predictions:

Greg - yes; Deonna - yes

Jamie - yes; Elizabeth - yes

Matt - no; Amber - yes (maybe?)

Keith - no; Iris - yes

Taking into consideration that the "experts" usually ask the most 'biddable' one to choose first, I'm going with:

Greg -yes; Deonna - Probably yes -but it depends on whether she thinks Greg's been 'good'.

Jamie -yes, because she's the "best he can get"; Elizabeth -it depends on her mood.

Amber - yes; Matt - no.

Iris -yes; Keith -probably no, unless something really changes in their sexual situation.  

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It makes me crazy how Amber gets so nervous when she talks to Matt.  Her voice gets shaky, she talks really fast, and the constant nervous laugh/chortle makes my head hurt.  I am no fan of Matt's for all the reasons stated here, but I felt terrible for him when they were at his childhood home and she nervously laughed and giggled through what was obviously a painful memory of his sister's fat-shaming bullying. 

"Hahaha I love it! Hahahahah!" 

Amber didn't hear a damn word he said.  She was so stupidly excited they were having an actual conversation that she didn't even listen to what he was saying or how shitty he was feeling.  Her response was immature and inappropriate.  Matt's "what the fuck" look on his face after she said that was sad.

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Since Keith had all those condoms in his bedroom drawer Iris must be like having a teeny bopper in his bed.  He's embrassed and doesn't want to touch her.

He needs a real woman to light his fire.  Iris virginity scares him and makes him limp!

I'm really worried about Iris skin and bones.  I hope somebody is watching and will do something for the poor girl.

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On 8/23/2019 at 11:45 AM, LuvMyShows said:

[Keith] is not trying to make the marriage better.  If he were, he would have expressed his true feelings to her about her 'secret' answer, and he would have had conversations with her about their physical and emotional intimacy and how to get from where they are to where they would like to be.

This is exactly how I feel about Deonna. I might be the unpopular one but I have to wonder about his whole "walls" thing. So she was hurt by her teen boyfriend. I don't buy the we broke up when we went to college and it got nasty tripe either. I'm sorry, if the result of that sort of break up stunted your growth for 10 years, then you're not an adult. And she worked on herself (babe) by doing the situationship thing for 10 years. And then gets married blindly on television. Her inability to be in a grown up relationship shows. 

Anyway, so are we supposed to believe that Deonna is this warm, wonderful, soft, emotional woman who will light up and tingle when Greg walks into a room if only she removes these walls that she has? We have seen her personality and attitude on the show and while things may happen off camera, her general way of communicating with Greg and talking down to him is not something that I think vanishes off camera. It's part of who she is. Her general disposition is having to be winning or in the driver's seat having control over whatever is currently happening and calling the shots whether it be bowling or a conversation about their relationship. Meanwhile, she's afraid that Greg will see how she truly is (her words) and not like her. That tells me what we see is her version of "best behavior" at the beginning of a relationship. How's that working for Greg now? You mean there's more? I see a lot not to like now. What's hidden?

If her personality is to wall herself off and disengage for long periods of time when something upsets her, what does that say when the marriage experiences seriously issues and decisions? If that reaction has been her MO all her life, that does not flip off like a switch. I just can't buy that she is going to wake up one morning and say, "Okay, the walls are down," and suddenly a completely different person will appear.

I am just not getting what Greg is seeing here. It's like opening an Amazon box and taking out your brand new whatever and it's broken and you have to decide whether it is worth the trouble to send it back because then you have to search for another similar item, or frustrate the hell out of yourself trying to figure out what is wrong and fix it.  I'm not objectifying here, just a sort of, kind of analogy.

7 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I am so happy to hear this.  I really thought he was enamored with her, but hoping he really isn’t.  Honestly, I want to see her get the boot.  She’s too full of herself.

I think they hit it out of the park show-wise with this faux pairing for Keith. He can come across as this amazing guy who was just so tolerant and patient and the poor thing was paired with a totally immature woman. Iris, on the other hand, comes across as a fool. I'm sure Keith's mailbox-- in addition to Greg's-- is full of potential mates. 

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I wonder if the other couples can hear Jamie and Beth fighting through the walls? That’s disturbing. 

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11 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I wonder if the other couples can hear Jamie and Beth fighting through the walls? That’s disturbing. 

Even more disturbing is if the other couples can hear them having sex.

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Raise your hand if you think all the couples think their NASCAR experiences were lacking since Beth didn't get to share all her cool, inside info! I'm sure they were really looking forward to her dominating the day with her precious insights, which are so much more important than learning about, say, basic safety that the hapless guide was trying to share. I mean, who needs basic safety when you're driving 160 mph?!? 

To me, when anyone talks about themselves in third person it's a huge red flag. At the very least, in the context it has been shown, it's a narcissistic trait. It never indicates a strength of character or willingness to compromise — you know, the qualities you want in a partner for life. Instead you are getting the type of orders you might get from a stubborn toddler: Iris only uses this sink for hands! Deonna is done with this discussion! No flexibility, no willingness to listen — sounds ideal, no?

2 hours ago, configdotsys said:

Anyway, so are we supposed to believe that Deonna is this warm, wonderful, soft, emotional woman who will light up and tingle when Greg walks into a room if only she removes these walls that she has? We have seen her personality and attitude on the show and while things may happen off camera, her general way of communicating with Greg and talking down to him is not something that I think vanishes off camera. It's part of who she is. Her general disposition is having to be winning or in the driver's seat having control over whatever is currently happening and calling the shots whether it be bowling or a conversation about their relationship. Meanwhile, she's afraid that Greg will see how she truly is (her words) and not like her. That tells me what we see is her version of "best behavior" at the beginning of a relationship. How's that working for Greg now? You mean there's more? I see a lot not to like now. What's hidden?

Things go wrong in life and couples have to navigate it together. Ideally it brings couples closer. If this is Deonna's "best behavior," how supportive will she be while things are hitting the fan? If the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior, it's not looking so hot. And I'm referring to real problems here by the way — money, health, family — not manufactured reality show crises. Someone who has to be in control and always right is not going to be the partner you need as you are say, grappling with putting a parent with rapidly worsening Altzheimer's in a facility. But if Greg can live with those qualities (after all, he is not perfect either), or feels that the positives outweigh the negatives, that's great for him. I personally would disagree, but hey, it takes all kinds, right?

And by no means am I only looking at Deonna here. Not everyone is meant to be married, and to me that isn't necessarily a negative on them. Marriage is sold as a white-lace-and-promises, answer-to-all-your-problems phony ideal that you are supposably incomplete without, but in reality it's an artificial construct that not everyone is suited for. And by "everyone" I'm referring to most of the people cast on this season. 

Edited by Mrs. Button
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Hey guys I still can't figure out how to pull a quote. Someone was kind enough to give me the instructions but it's not working or I'm doing something wrong. Is it possible that I cannot do it on my phone?

I touch the the beginning of the sentience I want to quote. A little box comes up that says quote selection. I've tried hitting the end of the sentence assuming that will give me the entire sentence. all I get is the one word I highlighted in quote selection. So frustrating because there's so much I want to respond but not the entire post. Let me know if there's instructions or just help me out here! Thanks!

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I see your loud arguing and sex sounds through the walls and raise you ear splitting angry yips and yelp sex noises echoing in the hall from the Bice-Thompson love nest.....

 Someone pull the fire alarm so the Bickersons will stop the sex concert......

Edited by humbleopinion
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On 8/21/2019 at 9:11 PM, Auntie said:

Most people wash their hair when they shower. Personally, that's every morning for me. So not only does she not wash her hair very often, it probably means she also doesn't shower very often.

YUK

I shower daily (sometimes more than once - it's humid here) and I don't wash my hair every day. Every other day, sometimes every third.

Quote

IRONIC Matt talking about respect. That's RICH! 😂😂 Yet nobody had the balls to check Jamie, just judge. SPINELESS. USELESS. That was the perfect opportunity for the other couples to help them, but no. They just tried to ignore the dysfunction. Sickening

 I don't agree. If there was physical violence or a threat to someone's safety I would try to safely intervene, but for once, I agreed with Matt. I didn't like Jamie telling Elizabeth to shut up (though truth be told, I was thinking it too) but the way they communicate is their business, not mine. I think that Elizabeth talking over the NASCAR guy was rude; Jamie telling her to shut up was totally inappropriate and Elizabeth actively trying to drag everyone into their drama by saying "see how he is? I literally can't say anything without him criticizing me" was awful.

Maybe if I saw she was upset and I felt we were close enough I might have pulled her aside and said something to her later to comfort her (though I don't know that the other cast members like her or feel close to her). Plus she was doing that whole passive-aggressive "I'm fine even though my husband tells me to shut up when I'm just sharing valuable and sentimental childhood memories at the top of my lungs" thing, which would only annoy me further.

Elizabeth is a drama queen. I've known plenty like her and honestly, the best thing you can do, for them and for yourself, is to just refuse to play into the drama.

Edited by Elizzikra
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1 hour ago, seasick said:

Hey guys I still can't figure out how to pull a quote.

Seasick, highlight the entire sentence or sentences you want to quote. I used your opening sentence as an example. Once highlighted, a box will pop up at the end of the highlighted sentence that says "Quote sentence."  Click on that box and voila it will appear as a quote. I tried it several times and it works. Not sure why you are having trouble. 

To quote entire posts, you have to click on the quote icons on the bottom of each post. 

Edited by ECM1231

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59 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Seasick, highlight the entire sentence or sentences you want to quote. I used your opening sentence as an example. Once highlighted, a box will pop up at the end of the highlighted sentence that says "Quote sentence."  Click on that box and voila it will appear as a quote. I tried it several times and it works. Not sure why you are having trouble. 

To quote entire posts, you have to click on the quote icons on the bottom of each post. 

Thank you Ecm1231 for responding. Gave that a try as you suggested but it's a no-go. I think the phone is the problem. I guess I'll have to go back to using my laptop if I want a quote. This is the first time using my phone for the site. So convenient! Hate using the laptop now. But I have tried to highlight using the phone and it just won't do it. Will only highlight one word at a time the words behind it switch off. Thanks again.

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6 minutes ago, seasick said:

Thank you Ecm1231 for responding. Gave that a try as you suggested but it's a no-go. I think the phone is the problem. I guess I'll have to go back to using my laptop if I want a quote. This is the first time using my phone for the site. So convenient! Hate using the laptop now. But I have tried to highlight using the phone and it just won't do it. Will only highlight one word at a time the words behind it switch off. Thanks again.

If it's any consolation I have the same problem with my phone & can never do quotes unless I'm on the laptop.  🤷‍♀️

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I've never understood what the big deal is about "shut up." Sure, it's not the nicest thing to say, but I don't get why it's treated like this deeply offensive, off-limits phrase. Sometimes people need to shut up! For example, when they're yammering full volume over someone trying to host an event and/or give them instructions about a dangerous activity.

In middle school, one of my teachers had a "Shut Up Fund." She made us put 25 cents in a jar every time we said it. I always thought that was bizarre and controlling -- it's not a curse word or a racial/gendered slur, and also, where did she get off taking money from middle schoolers? I don't even remember what she used the money for. Probably for her ugly scarf collection. Shut up, Ms. Horn, wherever you are now. And give me back my $12.

While I'm not the biggest fan of Jamie, I also don't think he's inherently terrible. He's reacting to the situation he's been put in, sometimes poorly, but I don't see him goading Elizabeth. She doesn't even give him a chance to start -- she's already flipping out before he realizes what's going on. I don't hate her, either, and definitely don't think she should be called a c-word, but of the two of them I like her less. Anthony on Couples Couch was the only one who actually said what Elizabeth should have known: no one stepped in to say something because it was a horrible, awkward situation and they didn't feel comfortable speaking up. 

Iris does not look anorexic AT ALL, nor does she look any smaller than when the show began. Our culture has been drifting toward obesity as the new normal and I think it's affected our idea of what healthy looks like. Iris's personality may be lacking in some ways, but her skin, hair, and eyes are all bright and she has plenty of energy. She's definitely not starving, and I think she looks fabulous. I hope that it soon becomes as taboo to criticize a thin figure as it is rude to call someone fat.

As problematic as some of these people are, none of them strike me as truly cruel and unsympathetic except Matt. He's cold as ice and doesn't seem to have a speck of guilt about how he's acting. Someone speculated in an earlier thread that the real reason his family hasn't been around is that he was never serious about this marriage and didn't want them to come to a fake wedding. As it turns out, Amber is kind of a clingy nightmare and it probably wouldn't have worked anyway, but he didn't even give her a chance. He's either too dumb or too narcissistic to use Keith's strategy of benign apathy, and he's not hot enough to pull off this clueless jerk act.

He reminds me of Ryan from Teen Mom OG, coming and going like he's single and carefree, treating Amber like Ryan treated Maci -- extremely mean and dismissive to a woman he's made a commitment to (however reluctantly), like she's a delusional moron for thinking her husband/live-in boyfriend and father of her kid [Maci] should maybe come home at night or at least mention where he is.

I'm truly embarrassed for Amber. She was sprung from the second she laid eyes on Matt, and she's been acting like a fool ever since. I cannot begin to imagine what a train wreck this school year is for her now that probably half of her students have seen her nearly naked, climbing all over a man who can barely stand to look at her. I teach college and I don't even feel comfortable teaching in a pencil skirt and bare legs! It sucks but part of the deal when you teach for a living is that anything you do in public or online can be used against you in the classroom. I've got my social media all locked down and it's just pictures of my cats and here's Amber talking about when she's having sex and how it's going on national TV. The woman is out of her mind.

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On 8/23/2019 at 1:05 PM, SabineElisabeth said:

I thought that wet scrunchy look went out ages ago, anyway?

Do you mean the style where you take damp curly hair, put gel through it, then scrunch pieces of it with your fingers ? I havent seen that look since high school. I don't personally have anything against her hair, except that I think she would look better if it was longer, and I think she usually dresses very cute. But I think she could use a little makeup. 

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3 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

I'm truly embarrassed for Amber. She was sprung from the second she laid eyes on Matt, and she's been acting like a fool ever since. I cannot begin to imagine what a train wreck this school year is for her now that probably half of her students have seen her nearly naked, climbing all over a man who can barely stand to look at her.

Is it possible that she is not really a teacher?  All the above is correct, for a middle school teacher, but maybe she's not.  Interesting to imagine her sitting around the teacher's lounge saying 'I'm gonna be on MAFS' to her colleagues.

Plenty of occupations have appeared on this show, "high yield bond trader" -- what's that?  Where is the high yield bond trading pit?  The evergreen "account executive". 

Was this filmed during the school year when teachers do not really get vacation time for a wedding and trip to Antigua?

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20 minutes ago, Liberty said:

Was this filmed during the school year when teachers do not really get vacation time for a wedding and trip to Antigua?

Didn’t Greg say their anniversary date is 3/20?

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52 minutes ago, Liberty said:

Is it possible that she is not really a teacher?  All the above is correct, for a middle school teacher, but maybe she's not.  Interesting to imagine her sitting around the teacher's lounge saying 'I'm gonna be on MAFS' to her colleagues.

Plenty of occupations have appeared on this show, "high yield bond trader" -- what's that?  Where is the high yield bond trading pit?  The evergreen "account executive". 

Was this filmed during the school year when teachers do not really get vacation time for a wedding and trip to Antigua?

Amber did take off work... and she took a sick day the first time Matt stayed out all night. I think it is possible she was working at the time... as depending on the contract teachers can get off for weddings, funerals etc. 

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8 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

I've never understood what the big deal is about "shut up." Sure, it's not the nicest thing to say, but I don't get why it's treated like this deeply offensive, off-limits phrase. Sometimes people need to shut up! For example, when they're yammering full volume over someone trying to host an event and/or give them instructions about a dangerous activity.

In middle school, one of my teachers had a "Shut Up Fund." She made us put 25 cents in a jar every time we said it. I always thought that was bizarre and controlling -- it's not a curse word or a racial/gendered slur, and also, where did she get off taking money from middle schoolers? I don't even remember what she used the money for. Probably for her ugly scarf collection. Shut up, Ms. Horn, wherever you are now. And give me back my $12.

While I'm not the biggest fan of Jamie, I also don't think he's inherently terrible. He's reacting to the situation he's been put in, sometimes poorly, but I don't see him goading Elizabeth. She doesn't even give him a chance to start -- she's already flipping out before he realizes what's going on. I don't hate her, either, and definitely don't think she should be called a c-word, but of the two of them I like her less. Anthony on Couples Couch was the only one who actually said what Elizabeth should have known: no one stepped in to say something because it was a horrible, awkward situation and they didn't feel comfortable speaking up. 

Iris does not look anorexic AT ALL, nor does she look any smaller than when the show began. Our culture has been drifting toward obesity as the new normal and I think it's affected our idea of what healthy looks like. Iris's personality may be lacking in some ways, but her skin, hair, and eyes are all bright and she has plenty of energy. She's definitely not starving, and I think she looks fabulous. I hope that it soon becomes as taboo to criticize a thin figure as it is rude to call someone fat.

As problematic as some of these people are, none of them strike me as truly cruel and unsympathetic except Matt. He's cold as ice and doesn't seem to have a speck of guilt about how he's acting. Someone speculated in an earlier thread that the real reason his family hasn't been around is that he was never serious about this marriage and didn't want them to come to a fake wedding. As it turns out, Amber is kind of a clingy nightmare and it probably wouldn't have worked anyway, but he didn't even give her a chance. He's either too dumb or too narcissistic to use Keith's strategy of benign apathy, and he's not hot enough to pull off this clueless jerk act.

He reminds me of Ryan from Teen Mom OG, coming and going like he's single and carefree, treating Amber like Ryan treated Maci -- extremely mean and dismissive to a woman he's made a commitment to (however reluctantly), like she's a delusional moron for thinking her husband/live-in boyfriend and father of her kid [Maci] should maybe come home at night or at least mention where he is.

I'm truly embarrassed for Amber. She was sprung from the second she laid eyes on Matt, and she's been acting like a fool ever since. I cannot begin to imagine what a train wreck this school year is for her now that probably half of her students have seen her nearly naked, climbing all over a man who can barely stand to look at her. I teach college and I don't even feel comfortable teaching in a pencil skirt and bare legs! It sucks but part of the deal when you teach for a living is that anything you do in public or online can be used against you in the classroom. I've got my social media all locked down and it's just pictures of my cats and here's Amber talking about when she's having sex and how it's going on national TV. The woman is out of her mind.

I love your whole post except that I do feel "shut up" to someone he's married to & while around other people is very disrespectful. Sure she was disrespectful as well, but she can look bad all on her own & doesn't need his help. However, I also think the situation stinks a bit of production involvement, but that's JMO.  I also feel Jamie is pretty cruel, in a different way than Matt - totally agree with you on Matt. Jamie has a calm, yet nasty, way of reacting to an out of control person, thereby making out of control person even worse - it is a tactic & narcissists use it. I can't say that's exactly what's going on here, because teevee, but the name calling in itself at this early stage, not letting her get away from him, etc, are all good reasons for her to have left him for good had she wanted.  In the end they're both not marriage material, but most of the people who go on this show are not. A lot of them do make for 'good teevee' though...

4 hours ago, Liberty said:

Is it possible that she is not really a teacher?  All the above is correct, for a middle school teacher, but maybe she's not.  Interesting to imagine her sitting around the teacher's lounge saying 'I'm gonna be on MAFS' to her colleagues.

I could see her doing this - Amber is immature & seems to also lack self-awareness.

Edited by gonecrackers
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12 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

If it's any consolation I have the same problem with my phone & can never do quotes unless I'm on the laptop.  🤷‍♀️

It is a consolation so thanks for sharing that. I tend to get the basics when it comes to buying technology. Don't know if a $1,200 phone would help but no can do! I'll slog along on my laptop when necessary.

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Amber is to Matt as LizzyBeth is to Jamie....

BougieRed blusters, flails around with a big potty mouth but is as hopeless as Amber when it comes to her husband...both need to cut bait and go fish elsewhere.....both men are wrong wrong wrong for them...

Tender hearted people need to find the right people to make them feel worthy of love...

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1 minute ago, seasick said:

It is a consolation so thanks for sharing that. I tend to get the basics when it comes to buying technology. Don't know if a $1,200 phone would help but no can do! I'll slog along on my laptop when necessary.

Again hopefully a consolation but my phone is no cheapie lol - & I still can't quote specific pieces of the text, only the whole thing. 🙄

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On 8/24/2019 at 7:55 AM, Lindz said:

Raven is talking to Amber! He's her friend that went through the process with her. He's so yum! 😍

Raven is so hot! I just automatically assumed he was taken/married/gay because otherwise it makes no sense why they're not together. Especially now that I know that they apparently both went through the casting process for this show. He had to have shut her down in the past or something, because if they are each so desperate to get married, why not just try dating each other? And yes, I know men and women who are sexually compatible orientation wise can be platonic friends,  but his little pep talk about knowing her own self-worth was everything she's been wanting Matt to say for the last six weeks in the span of a five-minute conversation. He is incredibly gentle and empathetic with her and seemingly everything she's been craving in a romantic partner, so I just don't get it. Or maybe Amber's just not attracted to Raven because he's actually emotionally available and her abandonment issues predispose her to obsessively wanting to please partners who don't pay her any attention and their rejection naturally only makes her double down on her emotional attachment because she internalizes it as a sign of her own failures and need for improvement. Wake up Amber, Raven's actual husband material!

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45 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Raven knows what an emotional train wreck Amber is so has her firmly in his friendzone....

I don't think so. I think Raven is her very good friend who happens to be gay.

I just read, upthread, that Raven had also applied to be part of MAFS. If that's the case (and Raven prefers women) --either they're "friendly" exes, or Humble is absolutely right.

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady

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Who is this Raven?  Was he on Unfiltered?  YouTube doesn't appear to have this episode's Unfiltered posted, so if that's where he's from, can someone do a screen shot?

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26 minutes ago, luckylou said:

Could Iris possibly be a normal person when the cameras aren’t watching?

doubtful

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Possible...not probable....don’t count on it.

Iris’ only flash of normalcy is her love for Homestead Lemonade.

Am sure Keith has plenty to say about her loony side but ever the gentleman he won’t kiss and tell.....

Edited by humbleopinion
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1 hour ago, LuvMyShows said:

Who is this Raven?  Was he on Unfiltered?  YouTube doesn't appear to have this episode's Unfiltered posted, so if that's where he's from, can someone do a screen shot?

Apparently Raven was shown on a Coming Attraction which someone so kindly posted the script somewhere above. I don't get the Coming Attractions it goes straight into that horrifying marrying million show. The people on there are so creepy that I usually switch off immediately but I finally did look through and no coming attractions on my lifetime.

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1 hour ago, LuvMyShows said:

Who is this Raven?  Was he on Unfiltered?  YouTube doesn't appear to have this episode's Unfiltered posted, so if that's where he's from, can someone do a screen shot?

He’s on in the next episode, Luv.  He was shown in one of the brief previews that GingerandCloves gave a beautiful blow by blow account of above.  

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Maybe Raven just isn't attracted to Amber (& vice versa), but they like each other so are genuinely just friends.

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I am sad Raven wasn't cast in this season...am sure his Wiccan mother's coven would have been big fans of the show....

Matt desperately wants to be just friends with Amber, too....

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On 8/22/2019 at 12:28 PM, WahooLAH99 said:

Iris let me explain something to you- you better try harder!  There is no way you will be getting any seconds dates after this is over when you happily explain how you are a 28 year old DIVORCED virgin!

It could be that she didn’t want to reveal her actual secret on camera or maybe she was testing him to see if he was truly interested in her.

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maybe she was testing him to see if he was truly interested in her.

I don't know how Iris telling Keith that ridiculous story about swallowing a quarter could be some sort of test of Keith's interest. If he was truly interested in her, he would have... what? If he wasn't truly interested in her, what sort of reaction to this story would have indicated that?

I think that Iris is really immature and this story was just another example of that. That whole exchange with Keith, from her telling of the "secret" to her cute little pajamas and the way she turned on her side and fell asleep after their discussion - it all had this middle-school-sleepover vibe to it. 

I liked Iris at the start and I still think she is gorgeous but I am not a fan of her personality. I think she has a lot of growing up to do before she can be a good partner for anyone. 

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Iris has failed to understand that her making faces and shuddering of anything to do with sex, her abhorrence to talking about sex, her stupid cutesy answers for the relationship exercises that are supposed to help bring them closer is the major turn off for her husband...

 Decision day.... Wonder Iris will throw a Hail Mary in the last week and offer  penetrant sex just to keep Keith from saying buh bye.....

 Thinking Keith has already holstered his peniz and running the clock out....

Iris would  be okay to have another label to go with Technically a Virgin badge...Divorcee.

Edited by humbleopinion
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1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Decision day.... Wonder Iris will throw a Hail Mary in the last week and offer  penetrant sex just to keep Keith from saying buh bye.....

I f Rat read this as “penitent sex” and thought, “yeah, maybe...”

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On 8/22/2019 at 12:09 AM, ECM1231 said:

Spot on about the Judy Dench comment. Keith's mom is so pretty.

When we first met Deonna she said her h.s. relationship ended approximately 10 years ago and she dated herself for 10 years. Then we learn she had " situationships" ( her word) during those 10 years. So what I gathered from that was that she had met men, slept with them, but they never led to a really satisfying relationship. IE: perhaps the men were using her for sex and she wanted/ hoped for more. Thus the reluctance to jump into sex with Greg but she is slowly letting her walls down. I remain hopeful for them.

This is exactly how I believe the Deonna situation went if you put the pieces together. I so relate to her in the way of I had a long term relationship in my teens to early 20's and it went bad. Like really bad for both of us and it shut me down for YEARS from relationships.  We're actually great friends now as I am with all my exes but it did take a toll on me. So I had always related to her story. Then when she talked about "situationships" she reminded me so much of friends who went through that period of leading with sex. A perfect example of in the real world Matt and Amber would have a "situationship". Heres a woman who slept with the guy way too fast and got emotionally attached. She saw babies, and 50 yr anniversaries before he got out the shower after they first had sex. She has the benefit of being married to him as an excuse but this happens so much. Women "give it up" per say and don't know the guy and get emotionally attached  through sex and think sex is going to make the guy fall in love with them. They give them all kinds of leeway, become desperate and just have general heartbreak. I have talked so many gfs off the ledge in our 20s. They weren't real relationships with a give and take. They didn't meet the parents and were generally a booty call to be blunt. Side piece , as you will in some cases. Not knowingly but being strung along and I think that's what Deanna went through in some sense. 

She's doing the best she knows how in order to let Greg in as she obviously in really into him. I would say she is in love with him. The show is doing all it can to mind drama from them similar to Bobby and Danielle. The experts did right by Deanna as they gave her Greg whom with his mother story can completely relate to what she's been through in some sense. 

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15 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Iris has failed to understand that her making faces and shuddering of anything to do with sex, her abhorrence to talking about sex, her stupid cutesy answers for the relationship exercises that are supposed to help bring them closer is the major turn off for her husband...

And Keith has done absolutely nothing to clue her in on this...........

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On 8/22/2019 at 11:48 AM, topanga said:

Didn't they used to do "3 things I hate about you" every night? I wonder what happened to that. 

I just thought about that the other day... Whatever happened to that knew thing they discovered on their honeymoon called COMMUNICATION?? 😂😂 It shouldn't have just been things that bothered them (EVERY NIGHT TOO 😅), but it looks like they stopped doing it very quickly. In my Gordon Ramsay voice, "Damn." 

Edited by Lindz
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On 8/25/2019 at 2:15 PM, SnarkEnthusiast said:

if they are each so desperate to get married, why not just try dating each other? And yes, I know men and women who are sexually compatible orientation wise can be platonic friends,  but his little pep talk about knowing her own self-worth was everything she's been wanting Matt to say for the last six weeks in the span of a five-minute conversation. He is incredibly gentle and empathetic with her and seemingly everything she's been craving in a romantic partner, so I just don't get it. Or maybe Amber's just not attracted to Raven because he's actually emotionally available and her abandonment issues predispose her to obsessively wanting to please partners who don't pay her any attention and their rejection naturally only makes her double down on her emotional attachment because she internalizes it as a sign of her own

I only saw a few seconds clip of this Raven, but typically women are not attracted to guys who put it out there that they are emotionally available. See: Greg and Dionna. 

Usually women want this kind of guy at the end of their 20s when they are done dating "emotionally unavailable dbag players" and they want someone comfortable to settle down with. I think Amber sees in Raven probably what Dionna sees in Greg and hence why she is instead crying over a douche player. 

Edited by Lily247
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38 minutes ago, DaddyDOIT said:

You guys are acting like Iris swallowed a penny or a dime....she swallowed an actual quarter 😲 Most people would not share such a deep, dark secret. I can see why only the doctor and her Mom knew. This episode has helped so many people. When I went to my LCSA (loose coin swallowers anonymous) meeting there where so many more people sharing their tragic stories.... THANK YOU Iris for giving us the strength to carry on.

I actually thought her story would take a different turn, like she swallowed a quarter and choked for too long and went into a coma for 2 years, and that life altering event made her decide to fetishize her virginity

Edited by Lily247
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