S09.E11: Secrets of the Past

[Mercolleen]

Big Red is SO STREET!

[TMI]

amber cut him loose ...he is a loser....and you're desperate

why waste another 17 days of your life

[VioletNevermind]

Just now, Ohwell said:

Did Amber just get out of the shower?

I think that’s just her “look.”  Either that or she doesn’t own a brush.  Sorry, Amber.  🤷‍♀️ 

[Brooklynista]

3 minutes ago, TMI said:

toxic...their marriage is chernobyl-like

Can we dump sand and boron on these two and be done w them??? 

[Straycat80]

This Dr. Vivi is a quack. Thinking Beth and Jamie can still have good marriage. Please. And Matt and Amber should have more sexy time when Matt clearly is not into her or their marriage. 

[Auntie]

Just now, Suzy Rhapsody said:

I think that’s just her “look.”  Either that or she doesn’t own a brush.  Sorry, Amber.  🤷‍♀️ 

Most people wash their hair when they shower. Personally, that's every morning for me. So not only does she not wash her hair very often, it probably means she also doesn't shower very often.

YUK

[LennieBriscoe]

Gee, I'll bet Matt is all broken up about this "no physical affection" trial! NOT!

And if Viv says "y'all" one more time.....

Edited August 22, 2019 by LennieBriscoe

[gonecrackers]

Matt isn't afraid of losing chemistry because he doesn't feel any chemistry with Amber.

[VioletNevermind]

Wow, someone gave Matt some language to use to run down the clock.  This is the most eloquent I’ve ever heard him.  Amber is devastated.  You can see it all over her face as this “expert” prattles on about vulnerability and trust and building a stronger bond.  Give it up, sweetie.  

Edited August 22, 2019 by Suzy Rhapsody

[PityFree]

if Dr. V says y’all one more time I’m going to reach through my TV screen and smack her.  Normally I don’t mind the word y’all, but coming from her it’s driving me insane.

[Kareem]

I feel like I have to brace myself every time they show a different couple.

Creepy Matt wants to know if there’s anything more to marriage than sex with the barnacle and the expert recommends not holding out...

And I still have to get through Iris talking again.

[Ohwell]

Matt actually sounds intelligent and he's stringing together coherent sentences.

[gonecrackers]

Just now, PityFree said:

if Dr. V says y’all one more time I’m going to reach through my TV screen and smack her.  Normally I don’t mind the word y’all, but coming from her it’s driving me insane.

She better duck 'cuz she's gonna get smacked a lot.

[TMI]

Matt is trying to be philisophical about the marriage BUT he is just holding our the next 17 days for the payout...everyone know he DOES not want to be married....esp...the broads he has been visiting when he disappears.

[Ohwell]

11 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

And if Viv says "y'all" one more time.....

Yes!  She sounds so unprofessional.

Why was Greg talking with his hand over his mouth?  WTF?

[Auntie]

Dang, I can't believe I actually miss watching this show. I just cancelled my cable services as I was tired of paying over $200 a month. So people, post details!!!! Is there any way to stream this free or watch episodes after they've aired for free?

[TMI]

why are they making iris tell a secret to millions  hundreds of viewers?

[LennieBriscoe]

The question is: Will Iris's Big Secret be embroidery-worthy? Will it be......"I DID THE BJ"?!

Edited August 22, 2019 by LennieBriscoe

[gonecrackers]

1 minute ago, Auntie said:

Dang, I can't believe I actually miss watching this show. I just cancelled my cable services as I was tired of paying over $200 a month. So people, post details!!!! Is there any way to stream this free or watch episodes after they've aired for free?

The episode will be on Lifetime's website tomorrow.

[Kareem]

1 minute ago, Auntie said:

Dang, I can't believe I actually miss watching this show. I just cancelled my cable services as I was tired of paying over $200 a month. So people, post details!!!! Is there any way to stream this free or watch episodes after they've aired for free?

 Are you able to use the Lifetime app, Auntie?  

[ECM1231]

6 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Yes!  She sounds so unprofessional.

Why was Greg talking with his hand over his mouth?  WTF?

When he was "mansplaining?"  I thought he was eating something.

Watching it again I thought Greg was playing with Deonna. She was pretty bitchy imo.

I also think Greg should not have been taking the blame. He is twisting himself like a pretzel trying to make Deonna happy. 

[PityFree]

8 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Yes!  She sounds so unprofessional.

Why was Greg talking with his hand over his mouth?  WTF?

 He was covering his mouth because I think he was eating a little piece of pizza or something when responded.

[gonecrackers]

Iris's secret is lame as fuck.

[VioletNevermind]

THAT’S a secret?!  Poor Keith.  Another guy on this show who deserves much, much better.  I made my brother swallow a penny when we were six, but I don’t “unveil” that as some big revelation decades later. 

Edited August 22, 2019 by Suzy Rhapsody

[TMI]

iris ...nobody wants to know about a swallowed quarter...

[Brooklynista]

I bet Iris really felt she went deep with " swallowed a quarter ". Sigh...

[LennieBriscoe]

Nope. Not unless "quarter" is an Iris euphemism. 😇

[Mercolleen]

Just now, gonecrackers said:

Iris's secret is lame as fuck.

Right? An embarrassing moment is not a secret. What a dorkalork.

[Straycat80]

The look on Keith’s face...he’s so over Iris being a dim wit. 

[ECM1231]

Iris, that is NOT a secret. It's an embarrassing moment. I was just as perplexed as Keith by that weird "secret."

Edited August 22, 2019 by ECM1231

[gonecrackers]

I thought she was gonna say the freakin' quarter came out her vagina later or something, but geez that was lame.

[Ohwell]

What. The. Fuck?  She swallowed a fucking quarter?  That's the secret?

Keith should have gotten out of bed, packed his shit, and left.

[CSunshine76]

Swallowing  quarter as a child is Iris’ deepest darkest secret? WTH lady.  She is never going to open up and be vulnerable with Keith.

[Auntie]

4 minutes ago, Kareem said:

6 minutes ago, Auntie said:

Dang, I can't believe I actually miss watching this show. I just cancelled my cable services as I was tired of paying over $200 a month. So people, post details!!!! Is there any way to stream this free or watch episodes after they've aired for free?

 Are you able to use the Lifetime app, Auntie?  

Apparently not without a TV provider. It does say you can watch "some" shows but when I click on MAFS it's making me select a TV provider. All I have is Internet now, no TV.

[Mercolleen]

Is bondage about to happen???

[TMI]

2 minutes ago, Mercolleen said:

Is bondage about to happen???

maybe strangulation...

[Brooklynista]

So Jamie is hate- fucking Beth. He doesn't like her any more than Matt likes Amber. Why not get sex out of it for 17 days I guess.

Cashing in sex coupons after calling her a "C#nt" or telling her to shut up? And Beth is unhinged so she accepts the coupon. She's as silly as Amber.

Edited August 22, 2019 by Brooklynista
Names matter

[Ohwell]

14 minutes ago, PityFree said:

 He was covering his mouth because I think he was eating a little piece of pizza or something when responded.

I will say that Greg sometimes talks in a way that you don't know if he's joking or serious.  Also, if he had food in his mouth then he should have just let her talk until he swallowed his food. 

[Kareem]

2 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

I will say that Greg sometimes talks in a way that you don't know if he's joking or serious.  Also, if he had food in his mouth then he should have just let her talk until he swallowed his food. 

He was probably trying to keep it going because she can click the off switch at any moment.  Not to be confused with Jasmine’s switch.  

[LennieBriscoe]

Who is Jasmine??

[Empress1]

27 minutes ago, Auntie said:

Most people wash their hair when they shower. Personally, that's every morning for me. So not only does she not wash her hair very often, it probably means she also doesn't shower very often.

YUK

Not necessarily. I shower once or twice a day (depends on what time of day I work out & I'm also more likely to shower more often in terrible hot weather like we've been having, even if it's just to cool off) but I don't wash my hair every day. It's curly and washing it daily would dry it out. 

Iris lying in bed after telling that dumb secret like she had really done something had me rolling. The look on Keith's face (which Iris CLEARLY did not pick up on, otherwise she wouldn't have been so impressed with herself) was hilarious.

I am on the record as thinking Jamie is a verbally abusive narcissist and he SHOULD NOT have told Elizabeth to shut up, but Elizabeth was being really rude talking over the instructor. This is a terrible relationship. It's ... gross, to me, to watch them cuddling after all the shit they pull. I think they're worse than Luke and Kate.

I guess they're all fairly local so they can see their childhood homes easily? What if they were transplants?

Edited August 22, 2019 by Empress1

[VioletNevermind]

Matt could teach a master class in deflection.  When he does appear to be breathing and awake, he is so good at holding Amber off.

[Ohwell]

Iris has motivated me to tell my SO my deep dark secret:  When I was about seven, I dropped my dime in the toilet.  I reached down and pulled that sucker out and washed it and my hands.  Nobody ever knew.

[2727]

Thanks for exposing your very soul, Iris. I stand with Keith in being extremely moved.

[TMI]

amber is delusional

matt is full of crap

[VioletNevermind]

3 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Iris has motivated me to tell my SO my deep dark secret:  When I was about seven, I dropped my dime in the toilet.  I reached down and pulled that sucker out and washed it and my hands.  Nobody ever knew.

Allow me to speak for us all when I thank you for your honesty.  💜

[ECM1231]

Wow, color me shocked. I never would have thought Big Red had come from such humble beginnings! I got a lump in my throat seeing her so emotional.

[gonecrackers]

Do you regret the c**t part of that statement, Jamie?   He's so unemotional I think he's a robot.

[ECM1231]

6 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Who is Jasmine??

Last year's female half partnered with Will. She was turned off on the honeymoon by Will saying finances should be split 50-50. She kept trying to get him to flip her switch, to no avail.

[Mercolleen]

Hmm ... will Couples Couch be as good as Pillow Talk?