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S06.E01: Week 1, Part 1

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Today was a big anniversary that I wish I could forget. I’ve spent four months training a girl at work and she is exhausting in her inability to learn. Today she deleted a series of files I’ll have to rebuild and somehow saved personal crap over the second backup.  Another coworker verbally vomited her horrible life decision fallout onto me and it took me 15 minutes to extract myself. Needless to say this day sucked! I said screw it to the diet, went and got some ice cream and settled down to watch this rat’s nest of crazy. Awwwwww, that feels better. 

I’ve missed this show. There’s the mothership shows, which I find myself skipping more and more, and then there’s this wonderful trash heap that often seems to be in on the joke. And they brought back my favorite grown ass man, Chris Buk. WooHoo! 

I don’t see the appeal of Blake. He looks like any average guy I might see walking into Abercrombie & Fitch. While he might think I’m staring at him I’m really just wondering how he can stand to go in a store that has such a stinking strong odor. He’s not that good looking or built. He has a square head and flabby pecs. I’m here for the Caelynn drama. Mix in Kristina and I’m all in! 

Is Cam losing his hair? I didn’t keep up with the Derek/Taylor relationship because I couldn’t stand her and I don’t remember him that much. I feel like Sydney is a new Bibiana. She’s in the background and no guy seems too interested. 

If I was drinking based on vocal fry and the word “like” I’d be drunk off my butt early in this show. 

Edited by ramble
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2 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

What kinda racist ass editing that Blake invites Tayshia on a date instead of Hannah and people act like "Saw 2" just happened.  Relax......

I thought the same thing. Tayshia is really pretty - stunning actually. It's not like he picked lock monster.

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52 minutes ago, Miss Slay said:

I thought the same thing. Tayshia is really pretty - stunning actually. It's not like he picked lock monster.

You know my mind didn’t even think of racism! I agree Tayshia is a beauty, and she has a killer body as well. Hannah G is my fave, but I thought they all picked up on a vibe between her and Blake. I thought they all assumed Hannah because of them talking/flirting and showing mutual interest. Not that there weren’t other attractive women there. 

I hope the contestants aren’t racist. Someone at my job brought up interracial couples on this show as if it’s a shocking thing. It’s 2019. So sad it’s still a big deal to anyone. We are all people. 

Anyway, I think Blake would be lucky to have Tayshia, not the other way around. And not just because Tayshia is so beautiful. The guy sounds like a total jerk. 

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I am with you, Ramble.  What is the big appeal of Blake?  His Bachelorette celebrity seems to have gone straight to his head.  Rebecca was wise not to pick him.

It was pathetic and laughable listening to Kristina and Caelynn recount their "Stagecoach  romances" with Blake.  Blake seems like a gross slimeball.  Stagecoach sounds like an STD-fest.  It seems like these people have nothing better to do but hang out with "Bachelor nation" z-listers trying to hook up.

Caelynn comes off so desperate and sad.  And why would Kristina come back to this show?  She is beautiful and seems very sweet.  She should date a nice guy in the "real world" and leave this show behind.

Edited by nittanycougar
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4 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

You know my mind didn’t even think of racism! I agree Tayshia is a beauty, and she has a killer body as well. Hannah G is my fave, but I thought they all picked up on a vibe between her and Blake. I thought they all assumed Hannah because of them talking/flirting and showing mutual interest. Not that there weren’t other attractive women there. 

I hope the contestants aren’t racist. Someone at my job brought up interracial couples on this show as if it’s a shocking thing. It’s 2019. So sad it’s still a big deal to anyone. We are all people. 

Anyway, I think Blake would be lucky to have Tayshia, not the other way around. And not just because Tayshia is so beautiful. The guy sounds like a total jerk. 

I agree with the bolded. I think they saw all the time he spent with Hannah and assumed (as she did) that he would pick her. Girl dodged a bullet. Hope Tayshia does also.

Caelynn looks terrible. What happened to her hair? It was all flat and almost greasy looking? Must be the tropical weather. But I thought overall, she just did not look as pretty.

Dylan....jury is still out on whether I find him attractive or not. I do not remember much about him on The Luke Show Bachelorette.

Edited by nutty1
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8 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Is Wills the guy who poops on a newspaper in his office?

How many iterations of this franchise has Bibiana been on? She is always friend zoned so quickly. 

Cam will be the designated friend who still tried to sleep with you though he has zero game. 

I liked Blake but what a fuckboi he turned out to be. 

Cant stand JPJ and his affectations. He and Jordan will compete with who can be the most extra. 

I would be embarrassed to be Annalise to still be going on these shows at 34. She’s so desperate and psycho, no one is going to want her in the end. 

I’ve never like Caelynn and imagine she’ll get busted up a few times. 

I only started watching the last few years so I’m unfamiliar with a lot of people and even the some of the cast from Hannah’s season I’m at a loss. 

Hannah G. is vacant and mind numbing. She’s just not interesting at all. 

its funny, I have really bad memories of people, so once a season is over I never recognize anyone, but annalise came back to me because she is so psycho and needy. bibiana--and onyeka--yuck. the chick brushing her teeth with hot sauce? oy vey.

OMG I forgot reading about will pooping on newspaper. you guys are hilarious.

10 hours ago, leighdear said:

Analiese needs to be gone NOW.  What a busy-body know-it-all.  Didn't she flame out last season she was on?

oneof the most desparate women--ala jamie otis. would date a blow up doll. sad.

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10 hours ago, DEL901 said:

But didn’t she glom onto him after a failed relationship attempt or two?

yes she was in love 3 or 4 times. im telling that chick woud date anybody.

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My first kudos to the editors goes to constantly showing Blake drop pass after pass.

Good job editors.

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1 hour ago, JudyObscure said:

That's the last good thing I plan to say about anybody.

Atta girl!

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There were a few men who were 35 = Nick Vile, Graham Bunn, etc.  I think the oldest chicks are 34 like Clare, unless you count the previous Bachelor Pad. Then that would be Gwen all the way from S2 who was 39 at the time. I was shocked to see her.

10 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Who's the oldest contestant who's been on the show? 

Anytime a woman is super desperate and thinks every other guy could be the one, I think Charlotte York. 

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Favorite part so far is someone saying that so-and-so is "the total package" ... and then editors give us a good look at JPJ's "package" in the Speedo.

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I don't really understand Caelynn's outrage. If I hook up with a guy at Stagecoach first I would have no illusions about what that was - a hook up. He was not your boyfriend, just move on Caelynn. 

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Caelynn knows that her "outrage" gives her more face time on the show. 

I know they all get stringy hair after being in a tropical climate, so I can forgive her for that, but she really does look bad with that greasy face.

11 minutes ago, thehepburn said:

Well, it's one thing to hook up. It's another to hook up and then find out the next morning that the dude had hooked up with another chick the previous nite and is texting a third and 4th chick as u wake up.  Then be asked to keep quiet about the hookup so as not to spoil him hooking up with yet more chicks.

But isn't that what hookups are all about?  LOL

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5 minutes ago, thejuicer said:

I don't really understand Caelynn's outrage. If I hook up with a guy at Stagecoach first I would have no illusions about what that was - a hook up. He was not your boyfriend, just move on Caelynn. 

Thank you. Maybe I’m just a cynic, but as a guy I’ve had more than my fair share of hookups where the girl ghosted me after. It sucks, but I just thought that’s just what dating is these days. Men and women treat each other like garbage (because there are no consequences for your actions) and then you meet someone you like so you put in the effort and hope they don’t treat you like garbage. This is dating in 2019. 

And they need to calm down with the whole, “Wow, Blake slept with every woman here!” Or this “quintangle” whatever. Yes, he slept with two women, but then kissing a third and texting a fourth are WAY different then sleeping with four women. These people act like grade schoolers. 

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There was a shot of Sydney (I think) and Caelyn (I think) looking on some drama and it was like a switch was flipped on Sydney's head that in the real world her response would be to comfort the person next to her and not stand and gawk. 

So she proceeded to attempt to comfort Caelyn but then tilted their bodies in a way that she could still gawk.

It was incredible and I now love Sydney (I think).

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7 minutes ago, thehepburn said:

Well, it's one thing to hook up. It's another to hook up and then find out the next morning that the dude had hooked up with another chick the previous nite and is texting a third and 4th chick as u wake up.  Then be asked to keep quiet about the hookup so as not to spoil him hooking up with yet more chicks.

The whole, “he asked me not to tell anyone” line is BS. For one, she’s clearly ignoring it. And second, why is she acting torn up about that? She has no obligation to Blake to keep things a secret so this whole idea that Blake is the reason she’s leaking this slowly is just dumb. She’d call him out in front of everyone and be done with it. But she’s milking this for attention. 

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14 minutes ago, thehepburn said:

Well, it's one thing to hook up. It's another to hook up and then find out the next morning that the dude had hooked up with another chick the previous nite and is texting a third and 4th chick as u wake up.  Then be asked to keep quiet about the hookup so as not to spoil him hooking up with yet more chicks.

100%. His behavior was gross. I don’t blame Caelynn one iota for being annoyed everyone’s crazy about the guy when he’s such bad news. 

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If I was Caelynn I'd be like, "Yeah, Blake hooked up with both myself and Kristina at Stagecoach, soooo, whatever.  But THEN that dickhead wanted me to lie about it like I was a dirty little secret.  He's a fucking asshole."

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33 minutes ago, thehepburn said:

Well, it's one thing to hook up. It's another to hook up and then find out the next morning that the dude had hooked up with another chick the previous nite and is texting a third and 4th chick as u wake up.  Then be asked to keep quiet about the hookup so as not to spoil him hooking up with yet more chicks.

I agree.  Especially when you have to watch that person being fawned over by a bunch of people thinking he is so great.  He is obviously a jerk, and they will find out.  I guess it is a good thing he never became the Bachelor....  and he knows that BIP pulls out all of the characters in these stories.  If he thought he was going on BIP without Caelynn or any of his other girls, well, he is stupid.

Edited by alexa
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Caelynn is so sad to watch and has such low self-esteem. Is that what pageant girls are like these days? Insecure wrecks. Her ex-bff Hannah Brown was the same. I feel sorry for Caelynn that she's still hung up on some guy that treated her badly. Confront him,  not confront him. Just do what you want and stop crying and whining about it, geez. Blake is no doubt gross. But she is also acting like they were exclusive.

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Would someone please 'splain what this "Stagecoach" is all about?  I had never heard of it before this episode.

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9 minutes ago, Dittohead said:

Would someone please 'splain what this "Stagecoach" is all about?  I had never heard of it before this episode.

It is a music festival out by Palm Springs.  Like Coachella, but for Country music

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13 hours ago, leighdear said:

Hey Wells!  Congrats! He's such a sweetie. 

Love him! Just saw that the bandanas he has on his shoulder while bartending are a gift from Sarah and have sweet sayings on them. They are my favorite couple from this franchise! 

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3 hours ago, nlkm9 said:

OMG I forgot reading about will pooping on newspaper. you guys are hilarious.

I'm pretty sure it was not Wills who did this!!

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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9 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I'm pretty sure it was Not Wills.

You are correct. It wasn't Wills. It was Lincoln. 

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. . . From the shallow end of the pool . . . 

I think Hannah is kind of funny looking.  I think it's her proportions, they're a bit off.

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13 minutes ago, Wouldofshouldof said:

. . . From the shallow end of the pool . . . 

I think Hannah is kind of funny looking.  I think it's her proportions, they're a bit off.

Aw I think she’s so pretty it’s painful! I love her big eyes, so cute. 

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32 minutes ago, Wouldofshouldof said:

. . . From the shallow end of the pool . . . 

I think Hannah is kind of funny looking.  I think it's her proportions, they're a bit off.

I don't think she is funny looking but don't see the raving beauty others do. Plus she is just so darn petite. Nothing against that but I am glad Mr. ECM likes some meat on his woman's  bones. Some men just go gaga for blondes. 

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15 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Bukowski is an old looking 32!

I was shocked when I saw that haha. That dude was 100% in his 30s on his first appearance. Gotta be around 40 by now.

Edited by huskerj12
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6 minutes ago, huskerj12 said:

I was shocked when I saw that haha. That dude was 100% in his 30s on his first appearance. Gotta be around 40 by now.

This was bugging me so I Googled " Emily Maynard cast" and popsugar dot com had a list with photos and ages. Chris is listed as age 25 and this was May 2012, 7 years ago. His birthdate is 9/10/86 so I guess he really is 32, soon to be 33.

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12 minutes ago, huskerj12 said:

I was shocked when I saw that haha. That dude was 100% in his 30s on his first appearance. Gotta be around 40 by now.

That’s what I was thinking, too. You sure you didn’t see “Chris, 32” in one of the flashback scenes and he’s really like 39 now?

Edited because ECM and I posted at the same time. Wow. That blows my mind. Other contestants “grew up watching him” and he’s only 32?!

Edited by JenE4

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2 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I don't think she is funny looking but don't see the raving beauty others do. Plus she is just so darn petite. Nothing against that but I am glad Mr. ECM likes some meat on his woman's  bones. Some men just go gaga for blondes. 

It’s true that all men prefer different things. Some definitely prefer meatier women with larger breasts and butts and thicker legs, and then some like petite little things like Hannah. 

I’ve noticed a lot of men go gaga for incredibly plain-faced blondes, but I do think Hannah is beautiful. I go back and forth with hair color and totally get more attention as a blonde. 

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I'm seeing Annaliese and Cam as the Carly & Evan of the season. 

Nobody really likes either of them and, they both come off awkward and desperate. It will be a miracle if either of them get laid.  

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I vacillate between thinking Hannah is very attractive and thinking that she has a thyroid issue...

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14 minutes ago, bosawks said:

I vacillate between thinking Hannah is very attractive and thinking that she has a thyroid issue...

I don't know if it's a thyroid issue, but her eyes look too big and sometimes she just looks scary, ghost-like.  She just looks too wispy and "delicate" and if I were a guy I'd be scared to have sex with her because I'd be afraid I might break some of her bones.

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5 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

I think Sydney is gorgeous, her beautiful Asian/not Asian face fascinates me.  That's the last good thing I plan to say about anybody.

Blake is just ugly and always has been with his overlong torso and little bullet head.  Why would women fight over him?  Get a grip Caelynn you were almost Miss USA!

I almost spit out my chicken from laughing at the bolded. Thx Judy lol

Also I think Blake is so unattractive. It's amazing how this show can turn the nerdiest dudes into a fukboi.  

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I'll buy a ticket on the Blake is unattractive train.  His downward-pointing hook nose thing in the middle of his face is hard to look at.

That being said, Caelynn, girl, keep your legs closed.

Blake didn't promise her anything.  They hooked up (her words!) at a music festival, where everyone was probably on something.  He hooked up with lots of people, as is his right to do as a single guy.  Know what Caelynn?  You could have hooked up with as many dudes as you liked too.

So waaaah waaaah, he told you not to tell anyone.  Why didn't you tell him where he can put his silence?  You're an adult.  You chose to hop in bed, and you can choose who to tell.

Blake. Was. Not. Your. Boyfriend. at the time.   Good thing, 'cause that is one ugly ass dude.

Edited by Sterling
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I don't think any of these guys are that good-looking.  That dude Kevin who thinks he's so hot looks like he's on steroids, and Clay looks like he took steroids too.   "Swole," indeed.

It'll be interesting to see some fresh meat.  For now, I'll take Wells.

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2 hours ago, waving feather said:

Caelynn is so sad to watch and has such low self-esteem. Is that what pageant girls are like these days? Insecure wrecks. Her ex-bff Hannah Brown was the same. I feel sorry for Caelynn that she's still hung up on some guy that treated her badly. Confront him,  not confront him. Just do what you want and stop crying and whining about it, geez. Blake is no doubt gross. But she is also acting like they were exclusive.

To be fair, this situation has a lot to do with her past with sexual assault, and even though she knows this is not the same thing--I am sure she feels really stupid for sleeping with him knowing what she knows now.  That all said, she should have known it would be too emotional to come on BIP given her history and the situation with him, but I do understand why it bothers her so much.

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All this fervor over Blake? Guess he didn't pick up on the fact that his popularity came from seeming stable, committed, and authentic in Becca's season. He's turned in a Dean. Even Dean couldn't survive being Dean. Blake's gonna get the proverbial rug pulled out from under him. Bachelor Nation puts you on a pedestal and then delights in knocking you on your face.

Hannah has giant doe eyes and the body of most of the women I see here in Vegas, minus the doe eyes. She doesn't have a thyroid issue, she probably just works out every single day and doesn't eat much at all. It's amazing how many women I see living on about 400 calories a day and running around in 119-degree heat. She doesn't seem any more or less vacant than the rest of Paradise participants. 

Call me crazy, I think Nicole is the prettiest woman there - tears or no tears. 

I do not mind Annalise. I understand many find her grating, but she's a pleasure compared to someone like Caelynn, whom I still cannot stand. Newsflash: she's not an old hag at 34. She's actually the person this franchise should be helping, but it veered away from "helping people who want love to find it" to "reality trash pandas who drink too much and hook up on the fly."

I have never seen Bukowski before - I don't think I watched the first two BiP seasons, and I missed Emily's season. Never watched Bachelor Pad. I thought they were doing promo work for Angel Has Fallen, because dude is a dead ringer for Gerard Butler. 
 

Cam is clearly playing a character. I hope he's getting paid well.

Bibi and Wills are there to tan, drink, and get a check. They never seem to want to actually meet anyone. 

What is Caelynn crying over? Blake was  douche to her - memo received. Blow up his spot or don't. Her incessant crying makes zero sense. She, as usual, is looking for sympathy and camera time, still bitter she didn't get B-ette. 

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6 minutes ago, Sterling said:

I'll buy a ticket on the Blake is unattractive train.  His downward-pointing hook nose thing in the middle of his face is hard to look at.

That being said, Caelynn, girl, keep your legs closed.

Blake didn't promise her anything.  They hooked up (her words!) at a music festival, where everyone was probably on something.  He hooked up with lots of people, as is his right to do as a single guy.  Know what Caelynn?  You could have hooked up with as many dudes as you liked too.

So waaaah waaaah, he told you not to tell anyone.  Why didn't you tell him where he can put his silence?  You're an adult.  You chose to hop in bed, and you can choose who to tell.

Blake. Was. Not. Your. Boyfriend. at the time.   Good thing, 'cause that is one ugly ass dude.

I’ll just come out and say I don’t buy this storyline. I don’t know anything about Blake, but last night he didn’t act like a guy who slept with two girls back-to-back, pissed them off, then ran into them on this show. He seemed genuinely happy to see Kristina and didn’t seem at all uncomfortable around Caelyn (I missed the first have of the show so maybe there was something). Nobody is that obtuse. Any guy actually in that situation would have a “WTF” look on his face once Kristina walked in. Or go up to Caelyn to smooth things over or at least pull one of his buddies over to tell him what happened. Instead, he just runs around on the beach playing football.

I also thought it was convenient they only shared Caelyn’s version of what happened (and a bit of Kristina’s). I get that we’ll probably hear Blake’s side tonight, but that was two hours of bashing a guy without giving him a chance to defend himself, and he was right there! Not saying he’s not every bit as bad as they’re making him out to be, but they’re clearly sandbagging him to be the bad guy. Ironically, Chris Harrison did several interviews saying it was unfair that Hayley got to give her side of the story while Jed was on the show and not allowed to defend himself. Now we have ABC with a chance to present both sides, since they’re both there, but only let Caelyn talk the first night because, “drama”. 

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2 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

You are correct. It wasn't Wills. It was Lincoln. 

Omg !! Thank goodness!! Lol!!!

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2 hours ago, Wouldofshouldof said:

. . . From the shallow end of the pool . . . 

I think Hannah is kind of funny looking.  I think it's her proportions, they're a bit off.

I don’t see proportions i see a very skinny body. But  her face and eyes are very pretty. In The case that she has Graves’ disease or she is naturally thin; I’ll stop there - even as terribly thin as she is, she looks and seems to be a nice girl.

Edited by nlkm9 · Reason: Error

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28 minutes ago, thesupremediva1 said:

Hannah has giant doe eyes and the body of most of the women I see here in Vegas, minus the doe eyes. She doesn't have a thyroid issue, she probably just works out every single day and doesn't eat much at all. It's amazing how many women I see living on about 400 calories a day and running around in 119-degree heat. She doesn't seem any more or less vacant than the rest of Paradise participants. 

Call me crazy, I think Nicole is the prettiest woman there - tears or no tears. 

I do not mind Annalise. I understand many find her grating, but she's a pleasure compared to someone like Caelynn, whom I still cannot stand. Newsflash: she's not an old hag at 34. She's actually the person this franchise should be helping, but it veered away from "helping people who want love to find it" to "reality trash pandas who drink too much and hook up on the fly."

I agree about Hannah. Just like some women are naturally thicker, some are tinier like her. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her. I’m not sure why she’s the only one labeled vacant either. Is it because she’s pretty and mostly keeps her mouth shut? I like that she doesn’t cause trouble personally, and I haven’t noticed most of these people showing much depth in their conversations... 

Nicole is cute, but I can’t imagine most guys wanting to deal with tears over everything. 

I’ve read a lot of posts about people wishing there were slightly older contestants on the show who were more serious about finding love, instead of a bunch of people in their early to mid 20’s who just want to make out all the time. I get this. Only problem is there aren’t a ton of catches past a certain age, and this show has always featured attractive people who have the bodies to run around on the beach, correct? Here we have a single beautiful woman with a beautiful body in her 30’s, and people say she’s too old. I guess there’s no pleasing everyone. 

I’m not sure which show Annalise was first on, but I’ve read about her being desperate. Being desperate is like the crying. No matter how physically beautiful you are, it’s not attractive. Most men and women want someone emotionally stable, mature, and not going to force a relationship.

Edited by RealHousewife
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2 hours ago, Stan39 said:

I’ll just come out and say I don’t buy this storyline. I don’t know anything about Blake, but last night he didn’t act like a guy who slept with two girls back-to-back, pissed them off, then ran into them on this show. He seemed genuinely happy to see Kristina and didn’t seem at all uncomfortable around Caelyn (I missed the first have of the show so maybe there was something). Nobody is that obtuse. Any guy actually in that situation would have a “WTF” look on his face once Kristina walked in. Or go up to Caelyn to smooth things over or at least pull one of his buddies over to tell him what happened. Instead, he just runs around on the beach playing football.

Um, he literally ran away when Caelynn walked in, and when Kristina arrived this was his reaction:

giphy.gif

Dude was panicking.

Edited by JenLily · Reason: Cannot figure out how to embed a GIF
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7 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Then there was Hannah G milking the admiration with her smug, "Don't be nervous."  I think she plans to see how many men she can make fall in love with her to prove something or other.  To think I wanted her for B'ette and after five minutes on Paradise, I can't stand her.

Speaking of bullets dodged...

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8 minutes ago, Wandering Snark said:

Speaking of bullets dodged...

I still think she would have been better than Hannah B.

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