S09.E08: How Can I Trust You?

[STRIDER1]

I just found deoanna's MONTHLY TO DO LIST for the year . . . 

Jan - make stupid annoying baby voices, start cringing and then brace for impact, ah I mean sex

Feb - greg crappy pity sex 

Mar - act frigid and uninterested, you know like my usual true self

Apr - greg just stfu already sex

May - defrost icy heart on high setting 3x a day

Jun - ugh more scheduled greg sex

Jul - celebrate fireworks (just not in the bedroom)

Aug - greg can you stop begging me sex

Sep - pretend to be in a coma

Oct - hurry up, is it over yet sex

Nov - vajayjay hibernation time

Dec - santa claus only comes once a year and evidently so does greg sex

Note to self : ok so thats my 6 times for the year. whew !!! im so glad THATS finally now over. NEXT year, im gonna request for quarterly sex appointments (4x a year) and the year AFTER that im gunning for a one time a year, annual hit and run greg b-day combo present/sex day.

2nd note to self : wow, i am SO damn smart, that 10 years of self dating REALLY has paid off in spades like crazy !!!

Edited August 2, 2019 by STRIDER1

[Adeejay]

1 hour ago, watchingtvaddict said:

Crazy theory coming:

Keith spoke about how his grandmother really wanted to see him get married before she died. And he is glad she was able to attend his wedding. 

What if Keith applied for this show  to make his grandmother happy before she passed? 

I don't think your theory is crazy.  After hearing how much his grandmother wanted to see him get married before she died, I would bet good money that this was the reason Keith applied to be on the show.  The moment I saw him, I couldn't help but wonder why a guy so handsome and seemingly nice would need help in finding a wife.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

8 hours ago, topanga said:

Beth's dogs lying on Jamie's lap during her tirade, they were staring at her like she was crazy. They like Jamie's calm demeanor. 

I'm not saying Jamie is always right. He says some of the cruelest, rudest crap to Elizabeth using a calm, almost melodic voice.

It would be easy for the dogs to think he's being nice to her.

For a relatively new watcher, you certainly seem to have good insights, Topanga.

[nutella fitzgerald]

I know it’s horrible to talk about someone’s appearance, it’s not something they have any control over, and I am writing my own ticket to hell just thinking this.

But is it really the best idea to discuss (on NATIONAL TELEVISION!!!) your fantasies about receiving massages from a professional when you bear more than a passing resemblance to John Travolta?

I’m sorry. I really am. Please PM me with suggestions of how much I need to donate to my local food bank to break even on karma this week.

[Ilovepie]

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

My feeling on Iris becoming upset about the sex questions is, she really doesn't know how to answer, is flustered about being asked these kinds of questions as a virgin - & with a camera in front of her - & she's feeling the gravity of this situation from Keith's perspective. She's starting to realize he's not feeling this the way she is & the painful reality he would've preferred someone with experience, so now she's starting to fear the marriage ending because of her virgin status, & rightfully so. One could say Iris shouldn't have applied, but the 'experts' (or whatever powers that be) should not have chosen her for this reason. 

I think you summed this up perfectly. I don’t think she likes discussing this stuff on camera, and I really don’t know what her response should have been on sex position questions - I think it was kind of cruel for the show to do that to her. I mean, most of Amber and Matt’s questions were relationship based - they only did that to deliberately keep the “Iris is a Virgin” storyline going. I truly hope she and Keith are having a real discussion in private  about her real timeline for having sex because this is not sustainable. I hope it’s just that she’s waiting until after decision day. She wouldn’t be the first (Jamie O being the poster child for post decision day coitus).

[Gem 10]

15 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Beth's sexy dance.....NOT...

Too funny.  Where do you all get these pics?

[Gem 10]

8 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

I just found deoanna's MONTHLY TO DO LIST for the year . . . 

Jan - make stupid annoying baby voices, start cringing and then brace for impact, ah I mean sex

Feb - greg crappy pity sex 

Mar - act frigid and uninterested, you know like my usual true self

Apr - greg just stfu already sex

May - defrost icy heart on high setting 3x a day

Jun - ugh more scheduled greg sex

Jul - celebrate fireworks (just not in the bedroom)

Aug - greg can you stop begging me sex

Sep - pretend to be in a coma

Oct - hurry up, is it over yet sex

Nov - vajayjay hibernation time

Dec - santa claus only comes once a year and evidently so does greg sex

Note to self : ok so thats my 6 times for the year. whew !!! im so glad THATS finally now over. NEXT year, im gonna request for quarterly sex appointments (4x a year) and the year AFTER that im gunning for a one time a year, annual hit and run greg b-day combo present/sex day.

2nd note to self : wow, i am SO damn smart, that 10 years of self dating REALLY has paid off in spades like crazy !!!

Hahahahaha.  You forgot “ time of the month sex”.

[Gem 10]

11 hours ago, Soup333 said:

So what are Keith’s chances of having sex *with Iris* during this experiment? Zero or...?

I’ve come to the conclusion he doesn’t care.  He’s too chill.  He probably came on for the exposure?

[lu1535]

I believe Iris's disgust with sex is from being molested as a child. I was the same way until therapy.

[Jeanne222]

7 minutes ago, lu1535 said:

I believe Iris's disgust with sex is from being molested as a child. I was the same way until therapy.

I'm so sorry that happened to you!  Hugs to you.

[humbleopinion]

 The more Keith gets to know Iris he is seeing more indications that she is not ready for sex...at least not in the timeline of the experiment.

Whatever the circumstances that made Iris to remain a virgin and whether she decides to reveal them is to be seen.

Keith will continue to go along with the pretend marriage and be a safe haven for Iris to play house.

They will stay married at Decision Day but divorce later.

Keith adjusts and accepts the arbitrary rules Iris has about the mundane things in life with no push back...he doesn't seem to sweat the small stuff...and it is all small stuff at this point...

 Wonder what Iris' rules are for...

Laundry...do the face towels touch the body towels in the hamper? Different hampers?

Are the inside clothes washed with the outside clothes in the same load?  Different hampers?

Outside clothes cannot become inside clothes without washing but do inside clothes become outside clothes as soon you cross the front door plane?

Maybe just to retrieve a FedEx package on the porch or does the 3 Second Rule apply?

 The possibilities are endless..

Post coital rules...The drill has not been executed but are ready should the occasion arise..

Fitted and flat sheets, pillow cases get pulled and replaced with a freshly laundered set of linens. Iris is not gonna put up with a wet spot in the bed...no sir....

Shower and fresh pajamas? Brush, floss, waterpik? Of course!

We need a whole episode of Miss Iris' Rules to Live By.....with off camera reactions from Keith shaking his head, slapping his head in disbelief, hold his head with both hands, covering his eyes, chuckling knowingly....I'd watch that

[Booger666]

19 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

Also loved seeing Dr. Pepper agitated with some of them.

Me too!  This was the first time I’ve seen Dr P give some good advice.  In past seasons it felt like all the advice was “you’ve got to commit to the process” and “you choose love” - such BS considering some of the spouses.  Dr P telling Big Red and Jaime that they have to work on their communication and fighting styles or this marriage or any future relationship will fail was spot on.  I find it funny that I can’t even remember Big Red’s real name anymore.  Y’all do a great job with the nicknames.

[lh25]

12 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Matt's not stupid or damaged enough to need to be taught by Pepper he should come home to his wife.

Exactly!  If you don't realize that you can't stay out all night, esp. without even calling your wife, you aren't anywhere near ready to be married.  And he was so passive, he made it sound like things just happened to him and he had no say in it.

[SnarkEnthusiast]

22 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

That must be some humdinger of a sea foam green shirt to get Deonna's motor running hot...

Who doesn't have a sea foam shirt kink? Anything outside the green family leaves me dry as a bone.

In all seriousness, Deonna, Greg lives alone in a house built for 5-7 and has a double oven! Recognize what you have! I think she's used to using her lower sex drive to control partners, but Greg doesn't deserve it and has been nothing but accommodating of her laundry list of neuroses.

Watching Iris cry over doggy style is like watching an 11-year-old cry to get out of the sex talk with her parents.

[Drogo]

2 minutes ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

Watching Iris cry over doggy style is like watching an 11-year-old cry to get out of the sex talk with her parents.

I don't know what kind of scary stories virgins tell each other around the campfire...

Does she think there's an actual dog involved?  Maybe she's a cat person?  

[Captain Asshat]

1 hour ago, lu1535 said:

I believe Iris's disgust with sex is from being molested as a child. I was the same way until therapy.

I'm so sorry such a horrible thing happened to you.

While this could be the case for Iris, I don't see her as being disgusted by sex in and of itself. I see her as someone who is naive about sex, and suddenly is feeling all kinds of pressure (on national TV, no less) to have sex, and she's uncomfortable being pressured about it. I mean, the question she was asked was about her favorite sexual position. TPTB know she can't answer that question, and that it puts her at a distinct disadvantage when compared with her husband's experience. It's completely possible she thinks, "Wow...to really please my husband, I have to do something sexually that I don't even know what it is." She absolutely should never have applied for this show.  

Edited August 2, 2019 by Captain Asshat

[humbleopinion]

A better answer from Iris would have been...

"To Be Determined...

I look forward to trying every and all the positions  so I can come(pun intended) to an informed opinion..."

Worst answer...The revulsion face and her body turned away with disgust from the direction of Keith reading the question...

Edited August 3, 2019 by humbleopinion

[2727]

I'm really enjoying this season; there's certainly a lot going on.

Amber and Matt are finished because Matt never started.

Keith is calmly waiting out the storm before returning to the safe harbor of adult sexual desires. I think he and Iris might have had a chance if not for ... well, I guess that would require Iris to be an entirely different person.

Jamie and Beth may become one of those toxic, bickering, alcoholic couples who hate each other but stay married because they're addicted to the drama.

By the way, Matt's friends might also be assholes if none of them cared enough to tell him to go home. It's also possible they had no idea he was married.

[LuvMyShows]

10 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

I know it’s horrible to talk about someone’s appearance, it’s not something they have any control over, and I am writing my own ticket to hell just thinking this.

But is it really the best idea to discuss (on NATIONAL TELEVISION!!!) your fantasies about receiving massages from a professional when you bear more than a passing resemblance to John Travolta?

I'm genuinely confused by this.  Someone who is (supposedly) homely in looks can't publicly express a desire for a good massage?

13 hours ago, watchingtvaddict said:

ETA: He doesn't really seem invested in the relationship. He says all the right things but I don't really feel any warmth coming from him. 

Perfectly said...that's exactly what I've been feeling, but hadn't formulated those words for it.

11 hours ago, RaeSpellman said:

Right. I wonder if Deonna's response to Greg's questioning about whether or not she would be okay with sex every other month wasn't because she's asexual, not attracted to him, or only interested in sex a handful of times a year. Maybe she answered the way she did because she didn't take Greg's question literally.  She had sex with him after two weeks. Why not ask if she would be content with sex once every two weeks?

I was wondering about that too, and all I can figure is that there was a part of the conversation that we didn't see, where the once every other month was already thrown out there.

1 hour ago, lu1535 said:

I believe Iris's disgust with sex is from being molested as a child. I was the same way until therapy.

From what I've seen with family members, someone who's disgusted with sex and been molested as a child but not yet through therapy, would not do physically intimate gestures that Iris does like drape her leg over Keith.  I don't think she is disgusted by sex.  I think it is unknown, and therefore for a person like her, very very very scary, and unbeknownst to her, she's only making it worse by over-analyzing.  Again, as I said upthread, where is the conversation about how to get there from here?

[qtpye]

53 minutes ago, lh25 said:

Exactly!  If you don't realize that you can't stay out all night, esp. without even calling your wife, you aren't anywhere near ready to be married.  And he was so passive, he made it sound like things just happened to him and he had no say in it.

I was flabbergasted that Dr. Pepper had no clue about poor lil Matt’s tragic childhood of couch surfing and basketball scholarships. Where the hell were his parents? Didn’t he say that he had a good family life until his parents recently got divorced? Is he an orphan that was abandoned here from the land of the giants? How did the show not know about this shit in their thorough investigations into the candidates. Dr. Pepper should already know most everything about Matt’s supposedly troubled upbringing.

[LuvMyShows]

15 hours ago, red12 said:

So, we were on my couch singing...

Curse you Red12....that idiotic high-pitched "Birthday sex" chorus is in my head and will.not.go.away!!

[topanga]

10 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I think you summed this up perfectly. I don’t think she likes discussing this stuff on camera, and I really don’t know what her response should have been on sex position questions - I think it was kind of cruel for the show to do that to her. I mean, most of Amber and Matt’s questions were relationship based - they only did that to deliberately keep the “Iris is a Virgin” storyline going. I truly hope she and Keith are having a real discussion in private  about her real timeline for having sex because this is not sustainable. I hope it’s just that she’s waiting until after decision day. She wouldn’t be the first (Jamie O being the poster child for post decision day coitus).

36 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

From what I've seen with family members, someone who's disgusted with sex and been molested as a child but not yet through therapy, would not do physically intimate gestures that Iris does like drape her leg over Keith.  I don't think she is disgusted by sex.  I think it is unknown, and therefore for a person like her, very very very scary, and unbeknownst to her, she's only making it worse by over-analyzing.  Again, as I said upthread, where is the conversation about how to get there from here?

This. It confuses me because Iris is very physically affectionate with Keith, but even talking about sexual intercourse practically makes her gag. Brother probably has blue balls like a mug. 

In regards to not wanting to discuss sex in front of the camera, I get that. But I would think Keith and Iris would've had time to have a private conversation about these issues before they went out to their romantic dinner. So what happened during the hours between the unconformable game and their uncomfortable dinner?

Oh, and also: Iris, you signed up to marry a stranger and have the first 8 weeks of your marriage play out on national TV!! And you love to advertise your virginity!!  But you don't want to talk about sex if Keith brings it up. So are you open about your sexuality, or nah?  Girl wants to have her cake and eat it, too. Or her lemonade, as the case may be.

[gonecrackers]

Keith strikes me as a bit of a player, who's waiting to go back to being a player. Iris is lovely to look at but no where near his league in any other way. Even in looks she's a bit on the nerdy side - nothing wrong with that, but she doesn't 'fit' with him at all.

The virginity thing was a lovely thought but now it's become a huge deal- as others have said - part of her identity. It's just too much. This is a 'marriage', sorta...

However, they're both intentionally holding off for good reasons. Keith will be a bad guy to 'take' her virginity if this doesn't work out, & it looks like he's seeing it as not working out. Iris doesn't want to give up her virginity to Keith because she doesn't trust he's in this for the long haul - he's now admitted to preferring someone with experience, & that has to be a huge blow to someone who felt her virginity would be a precious gift to him.

Kinda sad for her, actually, but such a stupid decision to have reality TV choose her first. Makes me wonder because if she felt it was such a great gift she shouldn't have put it on the line this way.

[lids]

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

Where the hell were his parents? (Snip)

Is he an orphan that was abandoned here from the land of the giants?

Lol, I would love if tptb were able to turn this into a trashy rendition of Gulliver in the Land of Lilliput. Mini Amber and her twin could be there speaking in their gerbil voices, trying to tie Matt down to the trampoline so he couldn’t wreck destruction on their lives.

Sexual power plays are so interesting in relationships. It’s funny that the couples that are having sex are now trying to negotiate how to get out of it and those who aren’t having sex are discussing what needs to be done to get it. A lot of it seems to be about control.

Edited August 2, 2019 by lids

[SnarkEnthusiast]

1 hour ago, Drogo said:

I don't know what kind of scary stories virgins tell each other around the campfire...

Does she think there's an actual dog involved?  Maybe she's a cat person?  

As a 27-year-old virgin myself (not by choice and I don't think my untouched vagina is like, a portal to heaven's gate or whatever - people just aren't attracted to me because I'm disabled), I do kind of get Iris' perspective. Hearing the advanced sexual appetites of someone experienced who you're attracted to, from personal experience, can be very intimidating and make you feel less than. I make fun of her histrionics because her 4-year-old communication style is pathetic, but as a virgin (drink! I'm so sorry guys), doggy style is particularly scary because it sounds dehumanizing, basically "turn around so I can fuck you without looking at you - and also get rug burn!" Of course, if you have an established relationship, it's obviously a lot more fun and plenty of women also say doggy style is their favorite.

and how could you not want to perpetually jump Keith's bones? The man is a smokeshow. Just ask him if he wouldn't mind starting with some basic Caucasian vanilla!

[sarkygal]

20 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I don't understand why several people are on this show.

Why would someone like Iris, who is so proud of her virginity, go on a show where it's expected that she has sex with her husband?

20 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Iris' whole adult identity is wrapped in her Virginity...

20 hours ago, DocTerv said:

Iris is waiting for her official "I REMAINED A VIRGIN" medal to arrive. No sex till she can show it to the world and get the accolades she seems to be waiting for. 

Keith, bless your heart, you are one kind and patient dude. 

2 hours ago, Drogo said:

I don't know what kind of scary stories virgins tell each other around the campfire...

Does she think there's an actual dog involved?  Maybe she's a cat person?  

I have a theory about Iris because she reminds me of some of the women I grew up with who held on to their virginity till marriage. I do believe her entire adult identity is wrapped up in her virginity and she has so long believed it is a prize worthy of 3rd rate reality show parades and a US Weekly front page. So her self important ass signed up for a cheap reality show thinking everyone would treat it as such the gift it is and reward her quest in finding a worthy suitor to deflower her. 

However, she got matched with a handsome virile man who lives in 2019 and finds her virginity problematic and possibly a minefield he has no intention of detonating. I believe Iris is embarrassed and confused. How dare her expert-ordained husband not strive daily to be worthy of her chastity? Keith, who wins all the points for ultimate chill, is basically "I didn't sign up to have some 'deflower-er of Iris' title stamped on me for the rest of my life from a shitty reality show marriage, so let's hang out till I can extricate myself off camera". 

It never occurred to Iris that her match might find it a burden they are not willing to bear. So now she cringes and cries every time sex is mentioned because he's not reacting in awe and wonder of her virginal queen status. I maintain that if she wasn't so self-important, she would have found a nice man through her church with similar beliefs and married him. 

I don't know why she held on to her virginity this long - moral, religion, molestation or wanting to be special. But her unicorn snowflake bullshit is getting in her way. The reality is most men aren't lining up to be your first and certainly not in a dubious reality tv set up with a pitiful success rate. Keith can't win here and he's just going to be the chillest guy ever and slide away leaving Iris' hymen intact. If the marriage fails, he's the guy she wasted her virginity on. If the marriage works (snort), he may have to wait months and years and be subjected to the 76 trombone parade when the deed finally happens and then he's stuck with her for life. And she is annoying. 

[humbleopinion]

The reckoning for going MIA from Matt's perspective...

Matt: My Bad....

 Amber: (chipmunk chatter)

Sarge:  (yapping like a lap dog)

Matt's Penance...

Awkwardly staged massage scene by production that was as uncomfortable to watch as it was to film...

Matt's paleness is startling as are his tats  in HD...

[Lisa418722]

When Iris married a stranger, she should have thought "probably sometime in the next few weeks, I'll no longer have the virgin card to play."  I always wonder about the couples who have sex the first night because I would like to get to know the person a little bit, but that's why you have the honeymoon.  You marry a stranger, more than likely you are going to have sex with that person sometime during the eight weeks you are together for the show. 

[red12]

2 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

Curse you Red12....that idiotic high-pitched "Birthday sex" chorus is in my head and will.not.go.away!!

"Girl you know I, I, I..."😊

[SnarkEnthusiast]

25 minutes ago, sarkygal said:

It never occurred to Iris that her match might find [her virginity] a burden they are not willing to bear. So now she cringes and cries every time sex is mentioned because he's not reacting in awe and wonder of her virginal queen status. I maintain that if she wasn't so self-important, she would have found a nice man through her church with similar beliefs and married him. 

I don't know why she held on to her virginity this long - moral, religion, molestation or wanting to be special. But her unicorn snowflake bullshit is getting in her way. The reality is most men aren't lining up to be your first and certainly not in a dubious reality tv set up with a pitiful success rate. Keith can't win here and he's just going to be the chillest guy ever and slide away leaving Iris' hymen intact. If the marriage fails, he's the guy she wasted her virginity on. If the marriage works (snort), he may have to wait months and years and be subjected to the 76 trombone parade when the deed finally happens and then he's stuck with her for life. And she is annoying. 

Exactly! I think she thought her match would be some chaste, godly man who would worship her self-discipline, probably regrets having sex because his ex wasn't the one after all, and practically trembles with desire at the idea of touching her below the waist. Instead she got a dude with a contact list full of Tinder booty calls and an XL box of condoms. Which is totally fine and to be expected in 2019, but it really sucks the air out of her Christian purity fantasy.

I think the only people who put stock in virginity are nosy high schoolers, overcompensating moral police, and creepy older dudes who jack off to the idea of being some 18-21-year-old's first. Taking every opportunity to announce it to fish for praise as a grown ass post-college adult is fucking weird.

Gendered double standards are also strange...no one would be like "woo my man's a virgin" you'd just be thinking "ah crap he's gonna cum in 60 seconds if we're lucky, guess I'll have to teach him to visualize gross stuff to last longer." 

[lovetowrite73]

17 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

My feeling on Iris becoming upset about the sex questions is, she really doesn't know how to answer, is flustered about being asked these kinds of questions as a virgin - & with a camera in front of her - & she's feeling the gravity of this situation from Keith's perspective. She's starting to realize he's not feeling this the way she is & the painful reality he would've preferred someone with experience, so now she's starting to fear the marriage ending because of her virgin status, & rightfully so. One could say Iris shouldn't have applied, but the 'experts' (or whatever powers that be) should not have chosen her for this reason. 

Yes, I agree 100% with this!

17 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Add me to the group that thinks that Iris has some real issues around sex and physical intimacy. If it were purely religious, I think the fact that she was married would make her feel almost obligated to have sex (isn't that horrible Duggar woman always droning on and on about how it's a wife's duty to have sex with her husband whenever he wants it and the whole point of marriage is procreation???). I wouldn't be surprised if there was some sort of abuse or trauma in her past that has made her so repulsed by sex. I think she will need intensive counseling to get past it, if she ever does.

Personally, Iris has been a virgin for X amount of years (I'm not sure how old she is) and she's only known Keith for 2 weeks. So, religious or not, why should she give it to someone that soon? I get why she wouldn't want to lose her virginity until after Decision Day. I think some of her histrionics are ridiculous but I get why she's hesitant about sharing that part of herself.

[red12]

1 hour ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

As a 27-year-old virgin myself (not by choice and I don't think my untouched vagina is like, a portal to heaven's gate or whatever - people just aren't attracted to me because I'm disabled), I do kind of get Iris' perspective. Hearing the advanced sexual appetites of someone experienced who you're attracted to, from personal experience, can be very intimidating and make you feel less than. I make fun of her histrionics because her 4-year-old communication style is pathetic, but as a virgin (drink! I'm so sorry guys), doggy style is particularly scary because it sounds dehumanizing, basically "turn around so I can fuck you without looking at you - and also get rug burn!" Of course, if you have an established relationship, it's obviously a lot more fun and plenty of women also say doggy style is their favorite.

and how could you not want to perpetually jump Keith's bones? The man is a smokeshow. Just ask him if he wouldn't mind starting with some basic Caucasian vanilla!

SnarkEnthusiest, I appreciate your perspective.

I grew up in an environment that preached a lot of sexual conservatism (even though, plenty of folks were not living it). But, I am very inquisitive so, I read a lot of books (I'm old) before engaging in sex myself. Something I read is that "doggy style" was actually a basic, normal, go- to position for most cultures until Christian missionaries started spreading the word that it was animalistic, ungodly and somehow shameful. Hence the names and connotations of what Western culture considers "normal" face-to-face positioning vs. anything else. If you think about the fact that most people would have learned about the act from watching animals in the wild or a farm, not sitting in a classroom or watching tv, it makes sense too.

I don't know if that little tidbit helps in any way, but I thought I would share. Also, basic definitely has it's place in life and should be appreciated. 😉

[Gem 10]

4 hours ago, lh25 said:

Exactly!  If you don't realize that you can't stay out all night, esp. without even calling your wife, you aren't anywhere near ready to be married.  And he was so passive, he made it sound like things just happened to him and he had no say in it.

Speaking of Pepper.  Who in this group doesn’t already know all the rules pertaining to marriage?  Everything she says is common sense.  The do’s and dont’s are common sense and courtesy.   Besides, I haven’t seen much of the new person expert.  Isn’t she the Sex therapist?  I thought she took Blondie place.  Blondie who is going with Molly’s Jon.

[palmaire]

Another thing we haven't seen discussed is that Iris is a lot more religious than Keith. He was kind of noncommittal during the casting special: "I'm Christian but don't really go to church." Not sure he was ready for his wife to be praying to Jesus out loud before bed.

The experts spoon out the blandest of pablum under the guise of counseling: Be patient. Love is worth it. Support each other. Give peace a chance.

[ElderPrice]

On 8/1/2019 at 10:49 AM, Kroliosis said:

but what's the big deal?  Sex can be fun.  If she's not getting anything from it then there are things that can be done to address that situation

I know this was meant for Deonna but I believe that Iris is truly asexual. She seems completely sex repulsed. Unfortunately the relax-and-just-enjoy approach does not work with us, we are completely colorblind when it comes to sexual attraction and just don’t understand it. It’s our orientation, the same as straight or gay, and can’t be changed. It does not bode well for their marriage, he’s going to want sex eventually and I don’t think she’s tuned in to her orientation yet, she will either give in then resent him, or he’ll go without and resent her. 

[configdotsys]

On 8/1/2019 at 11:20 PM, Adeejay said:

I don't think your theory is crazy.  After hearing how much his grandmother wanted to see him get married before she died, I would bet good money that this was the reason Keith applied to be on the show.  The moment I saw him, I couldn't help but wonder why a guy so handsome and seemingly nice would need help in finding a wife.

A few have posted that Keith did not apply to be on this show: he was recruited. This is why I call BS. They set him up with the perfect situation of a sexless union that he only needs to put up with for 8 weeks and in exchange gets to be on teevee. What surprises me is that not once yet has he mentioned his music career. I would guess he's getting tons of fan mail though. 

Edited August 4, 2019 by configdotsys
The torture lasts 8 weeks, not 4.

[seasick]

Matt and Amber: with dr. Pepper counseling them it's no wonder that girls like Kate and Amber remain delusional. She's more gullible than they are. Or worse, she avoids confronting the truth in order to save the show for the eight weeks.

Anyone who has completed toilet training knows that staying out without calling and checking in is rude inconsiderate and hurtful. No pity story is going to convince me you don't know better.

There's no doubt in my mind. Matt hooked up with an old flame back at his bedroom at the Bro house he was formerly living in. He was looking pretty showered and fresh. Crawling home with a hangover at 9 a.m. would be bad enough but bopping in at 2 p.m.?? Yeah. No.

And then she basically dismisses what should be Amber's hurt and outrage by implying that her abandonment issues is what makes Matt's actions so egregious and not the fact that he's an inconsiderate, self-centred douche and a complete wuss by anybody's standards or issues. Just as somebody else said he's doing the passive aggressive break up by treating her like crap until she breaks up with him. I'm sure he came home thinking " well that ought to do it". Nope not with clingy Amber and and the enabling dr. Pepper. His only out now is to quick get a job overseas.

If dr. Pepper had any ethics she would have sat Amber down and asked her how are you possibly okay with this? Even if she doesn't want to tell her that Matt is a lost cause she could have at least had her take a hard look at her boundaries. She definitely needs it.

What somebody else said up thread about him not introducing any family member at all-- when you think about not even a phone call to a parent-- it's pretty weird. I haven't looked at any spoiler threads or social media on this but I wouldn't be surprised if there was an old girlfriend hanging in that had no idea that he had gone on the show and got married. His backstory with his parents and the way he acts about it is just a little too strange.

Yes speaking of the new therapist. Good question where is she? I've seen her only a few times in her dress with one sleeve reading awkwardly off of a script.

Edited August 2, 2019 by seasick

[Ilovepie]

30 minutes ago, seasick said:

Yes speaking of the new therapist. Good question where is she? I've seen her only a few times in her dress with one sleeve reading awkwardly off of a script.

Maybe Dr. Viviana's battery had a low charge and she's plugged in at the studio until Decision Day..........

[ChiMama]

On 7/31/2019 at 8:13 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

Ah, hell no, Jamie better not be mishandling those dogs. Elizabeth doesn’t want to listen to anyone. That’s clearly been a defining factor in her life. Dr. Pepper gave them good advice but she shits on everything. Jamie could be more tender though. 

I had a feeling the 'mishandling' was all about Elizabeth drama. She said something about they went for a walk, got into a disagreement, and Jamie started pulling on the leashes (probably to walk home faster). ALL. HER. INTERPRETATION. So, in other words, take it with a grain of salt. As someone else said, Jamie and the dogs seems happy together (they seem to be afraid of Elizabeth too), which is kinda awesome for a guy who was reluctant to have them as roommates.

[Liberty]

1 hour ago, seasick said:

Yes speaking of the new therapist. Good question where is she? I've seen her only a few times in her dress with one sleeve.....

I think they could not find a waiter jacket for her with contrasting piping, which used to be part of the therapist uniform.

Edited August 2, 2019 by Liberty

[humbleopinion]

Matt's peniz wanted 24 hours of peace and said... No Mas!

 Matt and lil matt needed a break from sex....

[Kimboweena]

1 hour ago, Ilovepie said:

Maybe Dr. Viviana's battery had a low charge and she's plugged in at the studio until Decision Day..........

This reminded me of a funny meme, "How to know when your cat is fully charged."

[Rae Spellman]

5 hours ago, red12 said:

SnarkEnthusiest, I appreciate your perspective.

I grew up in an environment that preached a lot of sexual conservatism (even though, plenty of folks were not living it). But, I am very inquisitive so, I read a lot of books (I'm old) before engaging in sex myself. Something I read is that "doggy style" was actually a basic, normal, go- to position for most cultures until Christian missionaries started spreading the word that it was animalistic, ungodly and somehow shameful. Hence the names and connotations of what Western culture considers "normal" face-to-face positioning vs. anything else. If you think about the fact that most people would have learned about the act from watching animals in the wild or a farm, not sitting in a classroom or watching tv, it makes sense too.

I don't know if that little tidbit helps in any way, but I thought I would share. Also, basic definitely has it's place in life and should be appreciated. 😉

Isn't doggy style a basic, normal, go to position now? Watching the scene my impression was that Iris' response was very Iris and Keith's answer was trite.

[STRIDER1]

It seems that there is a growing consensus here that keith is very chill, ultra laid back, so relaxed and yadda yadda yadda lol

So I went back and re-watched the last episode to see if that was a valid point and what really caught my eye was this poster that he had hanging in the living room right behind iris during most of their documented interactions. Iris 80's hairstyle was blocking most of it usually and u can only see bits and pieces as she moved around here and there.

But thru some not so hard work and kick ass clever tv sleuthing on my part, I was able to eventually find that same poster keith had up on his living room wall.

It totally makes so much sense now as it seems that this is his visual constant daily reminder of what his strategy/endgame might be. 😛😛😛

Edited August 3, 2019 by STRIDER1

[2727]

I appreciate that Amber was gung-ho about her marriage from the start and I didn't view her commitment and enthusiasm as clinginess.

From the wedding ceremony:

Officiant: "Matt's family and friends would like you to know that he's as loyal as they come. Once Matt is committed to something, he's all in. I would suggest not challenging him to a basketball game, but if you do challenge him, he will stand by you as long as you stand by him throughout this marriage."

Matt: "This may be a little scary and you may be nervous, but I want you to know that we're in this together. I promise I will be respectful, patient, and kind while we learn and grow together. Throughout my years playing basketball I've been in many tough games and hard-fought battles. Through those experiences I learned that communication and teamwork are the most important factors to achieving victory."

Amber fell for his bait-and-switch bullshit, but at least she went into this with a fully open heart, which frankly the majority of brides and grooms do not.

But I also think Amber should have walked out after Matt revealed his true character and disrespected her and their marriage the way he did. It's one thing to be a delighted, happy bride but another to stay in an emotionally damaging, one-way relationship.

Edited August 3, 2019 by 2727

[Gem 10]

On 8/2/2019 at 9:55 AM, Booger666 said:

Me too!  This was the first time I’ve seen Dr P give some good advice.  In past seasons it felt like all the advice was “you’ve got to commit to the process” and “you choose love” - such BS considering some of the spouses.  Dr P telling Big Red and Jaime that they have to work on their communication and fighting styles or this marriage or any future relationship will fail was spot on.  I find it funny that I can’t even remember Big Red’s real name anymore.  Y’all do a great job with the nicknames.

Just wondering how many times Pepper has been married.

[Gurkel]

16 hours ago, ChiMama said:

I had a feeling the 'mishandling' was all about Elizabeth drama. She said something about they went for a walk, got into a disagreement, and Jamie started pulling on the leashes (probably to walk home faster). ALL. HER. INTERPRETATION. So, in other words, take it with a grain of salt. As someone else said, Jamie and the dogs seems happy together (they seem to be afraid of Elizabeth too), which is kinda awesome for a guy who was reluctant to have them as roommates.

I read This article about harmful dog saliva, and it made me think about Elizabeth’s dog drinking out of human dishes. 

[humbleopinion]

So sad I know this...

Sarge has been married thrice.

The first one was a 23 year marriage to Dennis resulting in 2 sons Cooper and Ryder.

The latest one was a long distance relationship of 9 years before she and Fred tied the knot.

Fred has since moved to Seattle to live on the horse farm with his Lilliputian.

[Starlight925]

There are so many great posts here that I want to quote!

Amber is showing her neediness and extreme low self-esteem by crying hysterically until the moment Matt walks in the door, offers the lamest apology ever, has sex with him, and suddenly starts defending him.  If she were my friend IRL, I'd smack her.  

Amber has the cutest body around, with all that working out, she has a nice career, she has a close bond with her sister, and seems like a really nice girl.  But she accepts horrible treatment, giving all her money to the one guy, offering herself up on a silver platter to Matt, who took off his ring "to play basketball" but conveniently forgot to bring it with him, and oh....who conveniently forgot to come home, or even text.

And you know what?  Even if he had called or texted, no, I don't think it's cool that a married man stays out all night.  Not cool at all.  If he's getting that trashed that he can't Uber himself home, there's a bigger problem.

We saw in a Preview earlier in the season that Matt's friend tells Amber that Matt was with another girl.  Hopefully, that will be shown soon.  My money's on that he was out with someone else, and maybe she wouldn't give up the goods, so Mr. Nobody came home horny, which is why he lamed/faked an apology to get Amber to accept him into the bedroom so soon.  Or he just did it to shut her up.

Not coming home for a night is one thing, but.....2:00 pm the next day?  Without so much as a call?  Amber should have bolted the door from the inside.  I know I would.

[humbleopinion]

Amber knows that he's not gonna stay married to her.  Matt knows. The crew knows.

She has 2 options...

Sleep with him as much as possible to change his mind to stay

Sleep with him as much as possible because for at least a minute she is bonding with someone else on an intimate astral plane...she craves intimacy...

Amber and Matt should come to an agreement that to finish the show as friends that he can hound dog... as long as he come home at night...and sexy time with her...

Amber has a ferocious sex drive and needs....