S14.E11: Judge Cuts 4

[Drogo]

Jay Leno joins the panel as a guest judge and gets the opportunity to send an act to the live shows with a Golden Buzzer.

Airs 8/6/19.

[ams1001]

• Dominguez Poodles: cute kids, cute dogs, too much barking, too much slo-mo. 
• I don't understand Julianne's red eyeshadow.
• "Hey, Jay, when are you going to hit your golden buzzer?" I predict: approximately 9pm.
• Ben Trigger: He actually isn't a bad dancer. (Even when I took gymnastics as a kid I could never do a split.) No more tassles, please.
• More skeevin' on the hot young guy from Gabrielle.
• More talking to teenager like he's a toddler from Julianne.
• I actually like Benicio's song.
• How many times is Howie contractually obligated to say "only 7" per show?
• The number of people on facebook calling Benicio a girl is kinda sad...especially since the caption clearly uses the word "his." (Addendum: the number of people insisting he's a girl is starting to disturb me. Learn to read, people.)
• Marina Mazepa: uhhh...I really need to stretch more...
• Charlotte from Spain who would buy a guinea pig with her million: How has she not heard "only 7" before?!
• Kara with a K: start out yelling...I tune out.
• What..the hell...was that..?
• GB at 9:13. OK, I was a little early this time.
• Oh, hey, Shin Lim 2.0...I wasn't paying attention, sorry. 
• Um...I had to go make lunch for tomorrow so...some other people performed, right?
• Who the hell is this Victor guy? Did we even see him?
• Howie hugged a contestant!
• What was that sending the two guys backstage? I don't even know what the judges were saying to each other so what was the point?
• I guess no one truly terrible went through this time...that's an improvement.

[Mr. Sparkle]

Ooof, Kara with a K. So painful to watch. So clueless about her lack of talent. 

[DaphneCat]

1 hour ago, ams1001 said:

Who the hell is this Victor guy? Did we even see him?

I was going to ask the exact same thing - and we didn't actually even see him tonight.  I looked like a really visual act that I think would have been interesting to see.  I think I would have preferred that (even though I didn't see it) to Jackie Fabulous who really isn't all that funny.

[CrystalBlue]

Julianne's eye shadow tonight hurt my eyes.  Tired of seeing Gabrielle doing the one-arm pump thing.  Howie only fist bumps because of his germaphobia, then hugs a contestant. Simon switched up his wait-a-minute game by sending the two male singers backstage to wait while he mulls it over once more.

I liked the Dominguez Poodles again but mistakes were made and the chaos at the end was cute, but not Vegas show ready.  God bless those dogs though!  I'd like it better without the little kids "helping" in the act.

Jackie Fabulous should not have gone through.  She wasn't that funny and I couldn't understand everything she said.  Kara With A K was full-on awful.  Is she really bald or was that a flesh-toned skull cap over real hair (underneath the wigs)?

No one's going to top Shin Lim from last season.

[InternetToughGuy]

I usually skip the judge commentary, but I thought that I should sit through it for a change - never let me think such a thing again. It may have been from the show seeming to have gone on forever, but for real, I felt depressed as hell when it was over. The show was boring, but not even really that bad, which is the worst kind, because I can't come up with a damn thing to say about it. Gabrielle looked like such a truffle - hubba. On another note - how on (flat) Earth is Julianne only 31? I remember thinking she was 35 when I saw one of her commercials over 10 years ago.

Dominguez Poodles - I refer to MJ's Big Blog to copy/paste the names of the acts and she's repeatedly used the most annoying word ever (doggo), which only makes me hate this act more than I did while watching. I don't like dogs to begin with, so these acts never win me over, but it seems the kids being there added absolutely nothing, so the idea of this being a family act is hardly accurate. These kinds of acts always opening the show is rather telling, since the opening act always has a particular vibe to it that is lacking in depth - usually along the lines of everyone standing up and clapping along. If they are in the mood for new dog tricks, I wish they would teach the Mother to sit (on my head).

DM Nation - I thought it was a decent act, though they barely showed anything, so you already knew that they'd be going home. Simon complaining about them being cold is hardly a fair critique, since living somewhere where it's -40 for half the year in a place that has never wanted to be a part of Canada doesn't exactly breed liveliness. Pointless remark aside, I know what he means, since all that jumping around isn't necessarily entertaining if everyone has an Easter Island statue level of emotion painted on their face.

Ben Trigger - (Trigger warning) Seeing this guy makes me afraid of having a son, especially since possessing my skeletal m***** genes means I have zero manliness to pass along. The amount of people who actually want to see this are probably fewer than the membership total of the official Forte fan club, yet everyone in the audience is clapping as if they hope he goes on. If he's in a career related to exercise and is still that fat, it's hard to imagine him doing anything other than tippy toed jumping in ballet shoes to reach the cookie jar. Do acts like him actually see themselves as serious contenders or do they all have a fetish (or possibly mental disorder) that compels them to go on national TV and embarrass themselves? On another note, can Terry Crews provide something other than interrupting the act to cut to him cooing as if he's sampling yogurt at Costco (oohhh!)?

Nicholas Connors - Don't know who this was and I am better off because of it.

Jordan Ravi - I don't remember if his audition was shown, but it was OK for what it was I guess.

Benicio Bryant - Once again I thought this was a girl. The original song was actually good for once, which is incredibly rare on a show that has usually has me power-napping every few minutes. Him going through was the right call.

Victor Moiseev - A montage act is never a good sign, even though the act looked much more entertaining to watch than a fat old singer.

Marina Mazepa - I thought this was pure crap. Her wriggling on the pole looked like an alien's idea of how to seduce a man, though I remained at not even half mast throughout. If by some miracle she ended up doing a Vegas show or whatever, I bet the lack of judges' table to jump on and make funny faces would expose the act as boring.

Charlotte Summers - For her own sake, I hope she wins so she can have a full career before British old age sets in at 19 (seriously, they age terribly). I am not a fan of these kinds of songs, mainly because I am against the idea of teaching single women that they could do much better than me. I know 13 year olds aren't going to say the most mature things, but I don't see where the humor is in that guinea pig routine - hehe, I'm going to name him Simon Cowell! I thought Kara held the copyright to all things unfunny, but she has competition.

Callie Day - Be prepared to spit out your Ovaltine all over your computer screen, because I actually thought this was decent. I know the market for this is nonexistent, but it's my one decent praise for the season. I guess why this was better than every other old singer was because (other than the obvious talent), there was emotion in it that wasn't derived from childhood boo boos or an old woman trying to be sassy or whatever. Most of the time, it seems these old acts just sing some boring soul music that nobody would give a damn about, so it's no wonder it's usually lame.

Zack & Stan - I don't think I saw this, but with such a generic name, I don't imagine I missed much.

SOS - I saw nothing.

Kara with a K - I thought her act was being the world's oldest 37 year old, because God damn, she looks like a 79 year old lunch lady. A lot of (attempted) comediennes on here seem to confuse being loud and annoying with a routine, but I suppose they can't be faulted when there are somehow hundreds of people in attendance egging the crap on. I make jokes all the damn time and I never start talking in "that voice" as if I'm announcing to everyone in the room that I'm a comedian - every female comedian on here does that and it's usually all bark, no bite. Garbage.

Emanne Beasha - I can hardly absorb the song (not like I want to anyways) when I spend the whole act trying to decipher what language it's being sung in. Opera may be my least favorite type of act ever, so I wasn't a fan and I don't imagine many other people are.

Eric Chien - With his tendency to make coins disappear, it's no wonder why Japanese wives are in charge of the man's money. It was a good act, and even though every magic act is more or less the same thing, he had a good presentation compared to arrogant douche with gelled hair and infomercial esque microphone on gesturing to the audience with every trick. Obviously people will compare him to Shin Lim, who obviously is great, but the way everyone talks about him, you would think he's untouchable or something, which I don't agree with.

Voices of Service - When these acts are prefaced with 5 minutes of (hold for applause), it just gets me annoyed; will you just focus on the act, please? Talent wise, I think they were possibly the most boring singing act of the night.

Jonathan (crashes and) Burns - Not like his first audition was good, but this was really crappy. These silly auditions almost never work a second time, especially since the first time is all laughter from the judges and then they come back to repeat the same painful act and they all have their game faces on wondering where the spark is.

Jackie Fabulous - I've used her name as a comparison to mediocrity many times since her audition, though I didn't laugh at the routine, I could see how some of it could be funny, so it wasn't really all that bad. I was trying really hard to hear what she was saying because it sounded like she was talking at 2x speed, so that ruined part of it too.

I'm not going to list who went through as if I'm doing a Dick Clark impersonation, since you watched the show, but damn this show was so boring because it was just a consistent 3/10 instead of having any highs or any true lows that were worth getting angry about and I had nothing to say at all. If Julianne's advanced aging only started since judging the show, now I know why I have crows feet after watching it.

Edited August 7, 2019 by InternetToughGuy
Had to balance out my insane rambling with actual commentary

[Neet]

Dominguez Poodles - These family pet acts have been engineered into a scientific formula, how many times can the same thing be done? The Dad ringleader looked like a bloated Elvis impersonator, the Mom was hot, and the kids are as usual pointless and annoying, barely even appearing sentient while shuffling around the stage. A dog running on and off the stage after the performance being treated like total pandemonium was eye-rolling.

DM Nation - Simon made sense when calling them cold, since it seems like they're a group of faceless action figures performing a computer-generated routine with no emotion. I'd still slide into their collective DMs, though.

Ben Trigger - Has anyone else noticed the theme of the shittiest acts having the highest amount of unwarranted self-esteem? It hardly matters if he does a serious dance routine (as serious as a diva-like man who can't even commit to getting in dancing shape can be) or not, since the comedic one sucks too. The constant golden buzzer segment of his has to be some desperate pandering to remind people to vote for him. Then again, it's the show with such hallmark standards that a guy like Gonzo breezes through every round, so talent isn't necessarily required.

Benicio Bryant - The singer with the widest level of potential appeal, with how many people think he's a girl. Good original song, though. He's one of the few singers who doesn't come across as one Simon is begging the audience to fawn over.

Marina Mazepa - A good chunk of the act was spent running in front of the judges' table, since we the audience can't be left to our own devices to gauge a performer's skill without seeing Simon go wide-eyed in real time. I thought she had a spool of barbed wire wrapped around her head, which would have been interesting, unlike whatever she was actually wearing that didn't affect the performance at all.

Charlotte Summers - How ironic is it that she's singing a song called "You Don't Own Me" while hoping for a record deal that would most definitely control everything about her. Laine "Cold One" Hardy got that and already seems destined to play at bars, so it ain't all that. Anyway, it was a great performance, but kind of seems like something people will end up forgetting about.

Callie Day - While I assume the marketability for a 50+ year old gospel singer would be low enough to call her fanbase the Holy Ghost, this was one of the extremely rare times where one of these "why are they here?" singers did a great job. It was somewhat surprising that she didn't go through.

Kara with a K - This was Crap with a C, to the surprise of probably very few. Perhaps she was too used to years of polite laughter from men who wanted to take her to bed to realize that comedians actually have to put an act together. What was this? There weren't any jokes, there was a lot of bellowing followed by disrobing, which kind of proves my earlier theory.

Emanne Beasha - The only people who open their mouth wider than opera singers must be the yawning viewers at home. To my uncultured ear, it seems like there's a baseline ability that opera singers have to reach to sound good, and then anything beyond that largely sounds nearly the same. (with a few exceptions)

Eric Chien - Really entertaining magic act. These sleight of hand tricks are pretty limited, but his presentation was a breath of fresh air compared to the overly dramatic ones that talk like "sometimes, in life....you only need one card!" while a hailstorm of tears and confetti rain down on the stage. Eric's delivery is a lot more laid back without being boring, and it lets the tricks speak for themselves. Since he was generating new money out of thin air for tonight's performance, I wonder if he has any interest in working for the Federal Reserve.

Voices of Service - They don't need to be in uniform to be a very decorated group of singers, with how much their boring act is dressed up in praise for their career. It's as irrelevant as Michael Ketterer (?), that guy who adopted kids into his home and suddenly performed with an angelic glow around himself while on stage no matter how well he was singing. Thank you for your service...able performance. It was dull, and the song choice sucked.

Jonathan Burns - The panacea for a shitty act seems to be "when in doubt, bring on the host or someone from the panel to stand in as a mannequin". Just terrible. It's quite hard to believe that some of these people deliberately planned out such shitty routines and traveled a long way to perform them.

Jackie Fabulous Below Average - Why does it feel like a requirement for all female comedians to be in your face with the I'M A COMEDIAN schtick at all times? There's a chance that some of them would be much more likeable if they didn't force it and just did a set without being high energy 24/7, IMO of course. (goes for the men, too) She checked most of the boxes: something most unladylike, sex, etc.. I think the bar is so low that simply showing up is pretty much enough for the judges, and delivering lame material while more enthused than a preacher is conflated with competency.

Jay Leno looked sedated the entire night, it was a sad mistake to sit through all of the commentary hoping there was something extra to comment on. Listening to him talk was beyond mind-numbing, never mind looking at what appeared to be his double-lazy eyes. "How did he give that girl the golden buzzer, was he watching the same act?" Possibly not?

Terry might be facing a copyright lawsuit from impersonating a Tickle-Me Elmo throughout tonight, half of his dialogue was giggling. Is he going to do anything of note once the live shows begin? That sadly has more tension than the actual results of the show, so far.

Edited August 7, 2019 by Neet

[Mr. Sparkle]

4 hours ago, Neet said:

Jay Leno looked sedated the entire night,

For real, I was surprised by how uninterested he seemed. It's not like he needs the money, I wonder why he bothered? 

[marketdoctor]

As to Kara with a K:

Quote

What was this? There weren't any jokes,

I think she was trying to be either Mae West for a TV generation, or a drag queen who is actually a woman--which would explain the wig fail and the efforts to be sarcastic.

It's also why she got the annoying-edit; chances are good she wasn't the only one who wasn't thrilled at someone else getting the Golden Buzzer, but they showed her.  That said, throwing in some actual magic beyond pulling out a wine bottle might have given her act a little more of a twist.  Sexy/comedy is hard to do; I think because comedy is about a defense mechanism and sexy is about letting down your defenses. 

I liked Eric Chien, but I wanted to see more of the other magician as well.

My remote is going to need new batteries from all the fast-forwarding.  If judging is hard, let America do it.

[Babalooie]

2 hours ago, Superclam said:

For real, I was surprised by how uninterested he seemed. It's not like he needs the money, I wonder why he bothered? 

He probably wasn't expecting to be bored out of his mind from the lack of talent.

[berwoman]

Methinks Jay Leno was stoned...  not that one can blame him.

[Mr. Sparkle]

30 minutes ago, Babalooie said:

He probably wasn't expecting to be bored out of his mind from the lack of talent.

I guess he never saw the show before. 

[ams1001]

12 hours ago, DaphneCat said:

I was going to ask the exact same thing - and we didn't actually even see him tonight.  I looked like a really visual act that I think would have been interesting to see.  I think I would have preferred that (even though I didn't see it) to Jackie Fabulous who really isn't all that funny.

I saw him in the backstage shots a couple times but I don't remember him ever performing. (Though as I said before I wasn't paying attention for part of it, but I didn't actually miss that much.)

10 hours ago, CrystalBlue said:

I liked the Dominguez Poodles again but mistakes were made and the chaos at the end was cute, but not Vegas show ready.  God bless those dogs though!  I'd like it better without the little kids "helping" in the act.

It kinda made her all the cuter, but the little girl looked like she didn't quite know what the heck was going on half the time. At one point she looked like she was concentrating so hard to remember where she was supposed to be going, then suddenly put on a big smile like she just remembered she's supposed to do that, too. It was hilarious.

10 hours ago, CrystalBlue said:

Kara With A K was full-on awful.  Is she really bald or was that a flesh-toned skull cap over real hair (underneath the wigs)?

Pretty sure it was a bald cap. From the back it didn't quite look smooth at the neck.

9 hours ago, InternetToughGuy said:

Voices of Service - When these acts are prefaced with 5 minutes of (hold for applause), it just gets me annoyed; will you just focus on the act, please? Talent wise, I think they were possibly the most boring singing act of the night.

Not only that, the "critique" was all "thank you for your service" and almost nothing about, y'know, their performance on the stage (they did comment on the woman's voice, and I think one of the men's, at least).

[Sounder]

I laughed at that comment about Jay being stoned......he kinda looked it......but what it really is.... is just growing old......what is he now ......70 something?    He's an entertainment icon though who has seen it all over the years so his golden buzzer decision didn't surprise me at all.  Emanne....(is that her name?).....ala Jackie Evancho 2.0.....was a safe choice for it.....as opera style singing really connects on this show.   She might win this thing.

I figure what the K stands for with regard to Kara is "Katasthrophe".

Richard Simmons used to sweat to the oldies......in the 21st century.....Ben Trigger can start a line of "sweatin to nineties house party rave music" videos.

Eric Chein kinda lacked the "look of bewilderment" that sold his audition.   He doesn't need to be Shin Lim.....I'm glad he's through.....but I don't expect him to win.

Benicio Bryant is male......I know that now.    Nice song......that's all I got.

I think I heard Jackie Fabulous on the bus last time I was on it.    That's kind of how her act sounds.....but she made a good point......"the best lover you ladies will ever have is a useless guy like me who brings nothing to the table but good hmmm hmmm hmmm." Think about it.

I've seen better contortionist than Marina.....so she had to do something to "up the ante'......I guess giving Simon a riser helped.

I just think the oft used "only seven can go through".....is like a pre letdown to get the act prepared to be disappointed.  Especially when it's the first thing they hear.   Like "Don't call us.......".

The thing about you tube videos is you can cut them off at any time....like your own personal buzzer......I used one on Charlotte not because she's bad.....but because I was bored.   She'll she one more round.  Wouldn't have been my pick.    I would've taken Callie Day because at least she's inspirational and whole    Not that she would actually win 

Those were the highlights for me.

On to the live shows 

[foxfreakinmulder]

Well, I thought this show had too many singers.

Why does the guest stars chair sit lower than everyone else?

I think the golden buzzer was a good choice. Not because I listen to Opera but because she can sing.

Why did we have to sit through Ben Trigger again. But the look on Simon's face when Trigger was standing inches from him twirling his tassels was priceless, lol.

Not too thrilled with any of the acts. I do like Eric the magician, Jackie Fabulous and her mom. I also like Voices of Service but not sure they stepped it up. 

Wow a couple acts really bombed. Looking at you Kara with a K, what the hell was that?

What the hell was that at the end? What was the point of sending those 2 off stage did they switch on which one goes through?

That rose gold color dress look beautiful on Gabby skin tone.

I thought no one could match Mel B's crazy looks but Julianne needs to fire her makeup artist right now because that red eyeshadow she had on was soooooo ugly.

I think Jay Leno was high as fuck!

Edited August 7, 2019 by foxfreakinmulder

[marketdoctor]

Oh, one more thought:  it's been years, and the judges still don't realize that the regular buzzer, at this point, is admitting to America that they were wrong.  Unless all four judges buzz, the only other effects are to distract the performer and to lower their esteem.  Until they can show how that makes an act better, they should "pull a Melb" and unplug their buzzers.

[Sounder]

Something to add:. For those of you....(and there are many of you)....who love Vickie Barbolak you can catch her act again as she participated on BGT Champions just for Simon so she can score a "trailer nasty" sitcom for British tv because us Yanks didn't want it.

But here's a thought.....would you like a sitcom starting Vickie if maybe you can get Kara with a K to play her trailer park neighbor?

Anyway,  BGT Champions begins airing in the UK in August despite the winner being leaked.  That's what you get for no live voting.

[CrystalBlue]

All the acts who pander to Simon get on my nerves.  Incorporating the judges into the act should actually be banned.  Magicians who need a participant should choose a seemingly random audience member, even if we know or suspect that he or she is part of the act or a plant <wink, wink>.  It's becoming a competition on who can seduce, embarrass or just suck up for a vote from Simon the most.  Second favorite "mark" is Howie.  I do miss Heidi though. 

So it wasn't just me -- something was off with Jay Leno.  I wasn't all that excited to see him because back in the day I was Team Coco ('member that?).  But he looked about as excited to be there as a 69-year-old retired man back on the job because he has to be.  I agree that he could have imbibed in something beforehand to help him get through the show.  I honestly thought he may have been recovering from an eye procedure, or hadn't been out in public for ages.

[foxfreakinmulder]

22 minutes ago, CrystalBlue said:

I honestly thought he may have been recovering from an eye procedure, or hadn't been out in public for ages.

His eyes looked like he was having a hard time keeping them open. I've never been a fan of his didn't think he was all that funny. I know he had a recurring role on Last Man Standing and that wasn't too long ago.

[silversage]

I thought Jay looked very tired.

Why don't the judges cover the golden buzzer when Ben comes off the stage- unless it's scripted...

[CrystalBlue]

49 minutes ago, silversage said:

I thought Jay looked very tired.

Why don't the judges cover the golden buzzer when Ben comes off the stage- unless it's scripted...

It's scripted.  You know it is.  It has to be.  Everything they show on TV has been scripted.  But to hit the GB again had very little redeeming value.  Maybe they wanted to pile on the Annoyance Factor.  Perfect title for Simon's next show!

[Vermicious Knid]

Leno was an ass back when it came down to him or Letterman taking over the Tonight Show, and he was an even bigger ass to pull it a second time with Conan. Also, his humor has always gone for the lowest common denominator and I've never found it particularly funny.

The dog conga line behind the little girl was adorable. Not enough to save the whole act though. Ben Trigger I enjoyed for what it was. He could get booked at gay clubs and drag revues, I think. The singers all blur together, but at least the kids can actually sing this year. Would have liked to have seen more of the horizontal juggler.

Jackie Fabulous talking about her Haitian mother is pretty much a ripoff of what Margaret Cho was doing 25 years ago.

[marykat71702]

20 hours ago, InternetToughGuy said:

I usually skip the judge commentary, but I thought that I should sit through it for a change - never let me think such a thing again. It may have been from the show seeming to have gone on forever, but for real, I felt depressed as hell when it was over. The show was boring, but not even really that bad, which is the worst kind, because I can't come up with a damn thing to say about it. Gabrielle looked like such a truffle - hubba. On another note - how on (flat) Earth is Julianne only 31? I remember thinking she was 35 when I saw one of her commercials over 10 years ago.

Dominguez Poodles - I refer to MJ's Big Blog to copy/paste the names of the acts and she's repeatedly used the most annoying word ever (doggo), which only makes me hate this act more than I did while watching. I don't like dogs to begin with, so these acts never win me over, but it seems the kids being there added absolutely nothing, so the idea of this being a family act is hardly accurate. These kinds of acts always opening the show is rather telling, since the opening act always has a particular vibe to it that is lacking in depth - usually along the lines of everyone standing up and clapping along. If they are in the mood for new dog tricks, I wish they would teach the Mother to sit (on my head).

DM Nation - I thought it was a decent act, though they barely showed anything, so you already knew that they'd be going home. Simon complaining about them being cold is hardly a fair critique, since living somewhere where it's -40 for half the year in a place that has never wanted to be a part of Canada doesn't exactly breed liveliness. Pointless remark aside, I know what he means, since all that jumping around isn't necessarily entertaining if everyone has an Easter Island statue level of emotion painted on their face.

Ben Trigger - (Trigger warning) Seeing this guy makes me afraid of having a son, especially since possessing my skeletal m***** genes means I have zero manliness to pass along. The amount of people who actually want to see this are probably fewer than the membership total of the official Forte fan club, yet everyone in the audience is clapping as if they hope he goes on. If he's in a career related to exercise and is still that fat, it's hard to imagine him doing anything other than tippy toed jumping in ballet shoes to reach the cookie jar. Do acts like him actually see themselves as serious contenders or do they all have a fetish (or possibly mental disorder) that compels them to go on national TV and embarrass themselves? On another note, can Terry Crews provide something other than interrupting the act to cut to him cooing as if he's sampling yogurt at Costco (oohhh!)?

Nicholas Connors - Don't know who this was and I am better off because of it.

Jordan Ravi - I don't remember if his audition was shown, but it was OK for what it was I guess.

Benicio Bryant - Once again I thought this was a girl. The original song was actually good for once, which is incredibly rare on a show that has usually has me power-napping every few minutes. Him going through was the right call.

Victor Moiseev - A montage act is never a good sign, even though the act looked much more entertaining to watch than a fat old singer.

Marina Mazepa - I thought this was pure crap. Her wriggling on the pole looked like an alien's idea of how to seduce a man, though I remained at not even half mast throughout. If by some miracle she ended up doing a Vegas show or whatever, I bet the lack of judges' table to jump on and make funny faces would expose the act as boring.

Charlotte Summers - For her own sake, I hope she wins so she can have a full career before British old age sets in at 19 (seriously, they age terribly). I am not a fan of these kinds of songs, mainly because I am against the idea of teaching single women that they could do much better than me. I know 13 year olds aren't going to say the most mature things, but I don't see where the humor is in that guinea pig routine - hehe, I'm going to name him Simon Cowell! I thought Kara held the copyright to all things unfunny, but she has competition.

Callie Day - Be prepared to spit out your Ovaltine all over your computer screen, because I actually thought this was decent. I know the market for this is nonexistent, but it's my one decent praise for the season. I guess why this was better than every other old singer was because (other than the obvious talent), there was emotion in it that wasn't derived from childhood boo boos or an old woman trying to be sassy or whatever. Most of the time, it seems these old acts just sing some boring soul music that nobody would give a damn about, so it's no wonder it's usually lame.

Zack & Stan - I don't think I saw this, but with such a generic name, I don't imagine I missed much.

SOS - I saw nothing.

Kara with a K - I thought her act was being the world's oldest 37 year old, because God damn, she looks like a 79 year old lunch lady. A lot of (attempted) comediennes on here seem to confuse being loud and annoying with a routine, but I suppose they can't be faulted when there are somehow hundreds of people in attendance egging the crap on. I make jokes all the damn time and I never start talking in "that voice" as if I'm announcing to everyone in the room that I'm a comedian - every female comedian on here does that and it's usually all bark, no bite. Garbage.

Emanne Beasha - I can hardly absorb the song (not like I want to anyways) when I spend the whole act trying to decipher what language it's being sung in. Opera may be my least favorite type of act ever, so I wasn't a fan and I don't imagine many other people are.

Eric Chien - With his tendency to make coins disappear, it's no wonder why Japanese wives are in charge of the man's money. It was a good act, and even though every magic act is more or less the same thing, he had a good presentation compared to arrogant douche with gelled hair and infomercial esque microphone on gesturing to the audience with every trick. Obviously people will compare him to Shin Lim, who obviously is great, but the way everyone talks about him, you would think he's untouchable or something, which I don't agree with.

Voices of Service - When these acts are prefaced with 5 minutes of (hold for applause), it just gets me annoyed; will you just focus on the act, please? Talent wise, I think they were possibly the most boring singing act of the night.

Jonathan (crashes and) Burns - Not like his first audition was good, but this was really crappy. These silly auditions almost never work a second time, especially since the first time is all laughter from the judges and then they come back to repeat the same painful act and they all have their game faces on wondering where the spark is.

Jackie Fabulous - I've used her name as a comparison to mediocrity many times since her audition, though I didn't laugh at the routine, I could see how some of it could be funny, so it wasn't really all that bad. I was trying really hard to hear what she was saying because it sounded like she was talking at 2x speed, so that ruined part of it too.

I'm not going to list who went through as if I'm doing a Dick Clark impersonation, since you watched the show, but damn this show was so boring because it was just a consistent 3/10 instead of having any highs or any true lows that were worth getting angry about and I had nothing to say at all. If Julianne's advanced aging only started since judging the show, now I know why I have crows feet after watching it.

InternetToughGuy, we seem to follow some of the same shows and your commentary always amuses me, so thank you for that.

Count me among those who thought that Benicio was a girl until I saw his name(I didn't see his auditition show-this was the first time I had seen him).

I am relatively new to this show, and I am confused/bothered by one thing. The winner gets a headline show in Vegas, right? So I look at the auditions as "is this something I would want to see/listen to for a complete show?" and with that being the case, I don't see how some of the acts went through(opera girl) while others(Victor) didn't. <shrug>

[Neet]

18 hours ago, Babalooie said:

He probably wasn't expecting to be bored out of his mind from the lack of talent.

18 hours ago, Superclam said:

I guess he never saw the show before. 

Is that why he looks so well-rested and youthful?

[Robert Lynch]

Speaking of Benicio Bryant, he bears an uncanny resemblance to Jaye Davidson. If he doesn't pass the round, he could play Ra in a Stargate Reboot once he gets older.

[bluepiano]

Another boring night. So three under 14 singers go through. Yawn.

As soon as Benicio said he was going to sing an original I know it was going to be a a slow, sad, depressing, introspective song about his feelings, because isn't that what all kids write about? I hate how Simon only uses the "is this a Vegas act" line selectively, because can you imagine a bunch of people in Vegas to party and have fun listening to an hour of boring sensitive songs from a 14 year? 

13 year old girl singing "You Don't Own Me" was creepy. Who was Charlotte singing to, her parents? Highly doubt that at 13 she's had a series of relationships with controlling men. Girl can sing, but wish she'd waited 2 or 3 years before coming on this show. But then she would've lost the novelty factor. 

Really tired of how the judges put through horrible, Gong Show type acts, and then act shocked and offended when they  return and do the same thing. Simon is the king of this. News Flash. Jonathan and Kara with a K were horrible in their first auditions. You liked them. It's your fault we had to see them again.  Same with Ben Trigger. 

Edited August 9, 2019 by bluepiano

[Jennabelle88]

Who was the guy that had Gabrielle sit in a chair blindfolded and he was mentally making her raise her arms? I don't remember seeing him through any of the judge cuts. Can someone help?

[Drogo]

Folks, if there's another member you would like to talk to directly we have a PM function for that-

Simply hover over that user's avatar and click on Message.

[bluepiano]

On 8/8/2019 at 12:25 PM, Jennabelle88 said:

Who was the guy that had Gabrielle sit in a chair blindfolded and he was mentally making her raise her arms? I don't remember seeing him through any of the judge cuts. Can someone help?

Is there one more week of Judges Cuts? Still haven't seen the blind and autistic piano player/singer, have we?

Edited August 9, 2019 by bluepiano

[rr2911]

The only act this past Tuesday night that really caught my eye was  Eric Chien. I think he can actually give Shin Lim a run for his money. Great act and the best of the night!

Why does everyone start clapping when there is an opera singer. Do they know what they're singing about? Maybe, but how do they know if she's in tune when chances are the audience has never heard the song before.

One act that I'm glad didn't make it as the dog act. It's been a routine on the show that a dog act, no matter if they're not that good will get through just because they're....well dogs! 

Like many people have pointed out, a very boring show and the whole season. Hope the live shows are better.

[DaphneCat]

1 hour ago, bluepiano said:

Is there one more week of Judges Cuts? Still haven't seen the blind and autistic piano player/singer, have we?

He was given the golden buzzer so no judge cuts - straight to the lives.

[InternetToughGuy]

7 hours ago, rr2911 said:

Why does everyone start clapping when there is an opera singer.

If every other year is anything to go by, it means they're happy that this is their last performance.

[helenamonster]

I really like Eric Chien. Yes, his style of magic is similar to Shin Lim's, but he's still incredibly talented in his own right. I don't think he'll win but I do think he's a lock for the finals.

My thing with Jackie Fabulous is that while her material isn't great, I think she has interesting/entertaining delivery. Like if she was in a sitcom reciting somebody else's writing, I think I'd enjoy her a lot more. 

[bluepiano]

22 hours ago, DaphneCat said:

He was given the golden buzzer so no judge cuts - straight to the lives. 

That's right. Thanks.

[Lonesome Rhodes]

The most worthy GB of the season.  Progress?!

The amount of screen time for that horrid "comic" lady is among the all-time lows for this series.  There is clearly a demographic to which SYCO was appealing.  The rest of us couldn't hit the FF button quickly enough.  The other magician, for one, should have been given much more time instead.  

The Dominguez dogs are the best of the animal acts.  Not all that great, but they should have been the doggie act which made it to the live shows.

Jay looked altered to me, as well.  I am pretty certain he was hating himself for going along with the charade that JF and her material were at all worthy of this exposure.  

The coin magician, if he had the stones, should have come back on Simon after the "step it up" because close-in magic won't work in LV BS.   Were I him, I would have replied, "All I need do is get more votes than all the crap acts you have lined up this season.  I'll take my first installment in 100s, please."

Overall, this was the most bored I have been this season, which itself is arguably the worst of all.  It's definitely the most worthless jidge's panel to date.  I can't stand Piers, but at least he added some energy and a POV.  Mel and Heidi were good for putting Howie and Simon in their place on occasion.  Gabby and Juliet add interesting fashion and some of the worst face designs ever seen.  gh.

[saber5055]

Caught the rerun last night. I thought the dog act was given a set up, having the dogs run around on and off the stage at the end was on purpose, TPTB told the people to tell the dogs to do that. No one was trying to call them back ... all a trained dog like those needed was a "come" and a "down." But this way the act could be proclaimed "chaos," and a great sound bite and show drama was created. Simon telling them to do Lion King if they came back was on point, but didn't a dog act do "wild animal" costumes another year? Not that it matters since they aren't coming back.

I kept staring at Jay, couldn't figure his deal out. He kept holding up his head, even in the aerial shots of the judges. He spoke fine though, so I doubt he was drunk. I kept staring at his overly done solid orange/tan face (no one else had such extravagant makeup) capped by his snow-white hair. I even googled if he wore a wig, it was so fake looking, but evidently that's his real hair. His half-closed eyes were a stark contrast to Julianne's, she looked like they were popping out of her head whenever she was given a chance to speak.

Of course Jay's GB went to a singer.

Kara With A K being shown to unsuspecting viewers was a first-class crime. The show owes me for making me sit through that horror since I don't have FF.

Almost as painful were Suitcase Guy and Ben the Tassle Dancer. WTH.

I liked Benicio but didn't remember seeing the other singing boy he was up against at the end. Why have those two go backstage? Were the judges going to put through the "wrong" kid? Oh yeah ... to make some drama and pad out the last hour, that's why.

I liked Jackie Fabulous' hair and thought her act was okay, although I don't remember any of it now.

The little girl singing "You Don't Own Me." Okay voice I guess, but I wondered if she was singing about her parents, teachers or the old guy down the street who drives a white van and gives her candy. In any case, really creepy song choice. Especially given certain current news stories.

I don't remember seeing the Horizontal Juggler before and sort of didn't see him last night either.

Who was the guy they kept showing who had metal things pasted on the left side of his face? For a minute I thought Hoop Dancer Guy was back.

I liked the contortionist woman. She was all kinds of weird, would make a good partner for last season's contortionist guy who got sent home right away. She'd make an interesting stripper act. Not that anyone anywhere was thinking that, what with the stripper pole and all.

I liked Eric Chien the Money Magician. If I were Jay, I would have told him to make those coins reappear in his hand, then put that cash in my pocket. He could have bought some headache/NoDoze pills with it.

The Voices of Services singers are good, but please with the sending (almost) every singer/singing group through. How are they going to "step it up?" --TM this show. Every other act has to but not the singers.

[foxfreakinmulder]

7 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Kara With A K being shown to unsuspecting viewers was a first-class crime. The show owes me for making me sit through that horror since I don't have FF.

Almost as painful were Suitcase Guy and Ben the Tassle Dancer. WTH.

I agree and to think they put these idiots through after their first audition instead of 3 other more deserving acts. And like you said they showed these act instead of a couple better looking ones we saw flashes of. Stupid! I don't know what was going on at the end sending the 2 boys backstage but again, Stupid!

[saber5055]

12 minutes ago, foxfreakinmulder said:

I agree and to think they put these idiots through after their first audition instead of 3 other more deserving acts.

Cheer up. We get to see Tambourine Man in the lives. So all is good, right?

[Neet]

18 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Cheer up. We get to see Tambourine Man in the lives. So all is good, right?

Tambourine Man? TAMBOURINE MAN? That legend's name is Gonzo, preferably stated while accompanied by fireworks and a symphony of golden buzzers. /s

[Commando Cody]

I thought Charlotte was terrible. It was a horrible audition. She was making that gutteral noise through most of it. It was ear bleeding over-kill. She should not have gone through.  Just awful.

The contortionist isn't going to win this, but I think she's good. She will probably have a career in horror movies and super hero TV shows as the bad guy.  I think the guy from last year showed up on an episode of 'The Flash' as a villain.  If she can crawl around like the girl in 'The Exorcist', she will have a nice career. 

I honestly do not remember that group from Canada. I went back through my old posts to see if I wrote about them. I didn't find anything, but I didn't look all that hard either. 

I don't pay a lot of attention to this show anymore. It took me until today to watch this episode. They sent Jackie Fabulous though for some reason. It makes no sense to me, but since they send bad acts through over better acts, they producers have their own agenda. 

I don't know what was going on at the end. It was like they were all set to put the one kid through, but Simon changed his mind. I actually thought Simon was going to make a ruling to send them both through. I was kind of surprised. It really sucked for that other kid. 

[CrystalBlue]

1 hour ago, Neet said:

Tambourine Man? TAMBOURINE MAN? That legend's name is Gonzo, preferably stated while accompanied by fireworks and a symphony of golden buzzers. /s

That's GONZO to y'all.  He deserves to be in all caps.  Legend.  /s

[CrystalBlue]

2 hours ago, saber5055 said:

Caught the rerun last night. I thought the dog act was given a set up, having the dogs run around on and off the stage at the end was on purpose, TPTB told the people to tell the dogs to do that. No one was trying to call them back ... all a trained dog like those needed was a "come" and a "down." But this way the act could be proclaimed "chaos," and a great sound bite and show drama was created. Simon telling them to do Lion King if they came back was on point, but didn't a dog act do "wild animal" costumes another year? Not that it matters since they aren't coming back.

I kept staring at Jay, couldn't figure his deal out. He kept holding up his head, even in the aerial shots of the judges. He spoke fine though, so I doubt he was drunk. I kept staring at his overly done solid orange/tan face (no one else had such extravagant makeup) capped by his snow-white hair. I even googled if he wore a wig, it was so fake looking, but evidently that's his real hair. His half-closed eyes were a stark contrast to Julianne's, she looked like they were popping out of her head whenever she was given a chance to speak.

Of course Jay's GB went to a singer.

Kara With A K being shown to unsuspecting viewers was a first-class crime. The show owes me for making me sit through that horror since I don't have FF.

Almost as painful were Suitcase Guy and Ben the Tassle Dancer. WTH.

I liked Benicio but didn't remember seeing the other singing boy he was up against at the end. Why have those two go backstage? Were the judges going to put through the "wrong" kid? Oh yeah ... to make some drama and pad out the last hour, that's why.

I liked Jackie Fabulous' hair and thought her act was okay, although I don't remember any of it now.

The little girl singing "You Don't Own Me." Okay voice I guess, but I wondered if she was singing about her parents, teachers or the old guy down the street who drives a white van and gives her candy. In any case, really creepy song choice. Especially given certain current news stories.

I don't remember seeing the Horizontal Juggler before and sort of didn't see him last night either.

Who was the guy they kept showing who had metal things pasted on the left side of his face? For a minute I thought Hoop Dancer Guy was back.

I liked the contortionist woman. She was all kinds of weird, would make a good partner for last season's contortionist guy who got sent home right away. She'd make an interesting stripper act. Not that anyone anywhere was thinking that, what with the stripper pole and all.

I liked Eric Chien the Money Magician. If I were Jay, I would have told him to make those coins reappear in his hand, then put that cash in my pocket. He could have bought some headache/NoDoze pills with it.

The Voices of Services singers are good, but please with the sending (almost) every singer/singing group through. How are they going to "step it up?" --TM this show. Every other act has to but not the singers.

So many points to agree with, so little time.  You mean as cynical as I am, I fell for the unscripted chaos ending of the Dominguez Poodles?  You're right, the dogs are trained and would've stayed in place if it wasn't choreographed.  That pisses me off if TPTB are interfering in what the acts want to do.  I feel bad they didn't go through, especially since worst acts did.

[rr2911]

As it stands right now for me, I like that kid dance group with lights. I think their parents did the same routine a few seasons back. I also like Eric Chien the magician. He might not have thr presentation of a Shin Lim, but his magic is on par with Lim's. There are other acts that I like but none of them come close to these two. Having said that, America probably won't want to see a magician win two years in a row. And I know the kid dance light show is not everyone's cup of tea. I'll be voting for them!  

[InternetToughGuy]

1 hour ago, CrystalBlue said:

So many points to agree with, so little time.  You mean as cynical as I am, I fell for the unscripted chaos ending of the Dominguez Poodles?  You're right, the dogs are trained and would've stayed in place if it wasn't choreographed.  That pisses me off if TPTB are interfering in what the acts want to do.  I feel bad they didn't go through, especially since worst acts did.

Running away to miss the rest of the shitty show on purpose only shows just how intelligent the dogs are. That aside, it's funny how everyone here, myself included seems to complain about how boring the show is, yet doesn't just turn it off 😏

[saber5055]

1 hour ago, rr2911 said:

And I know the kid dance light show is not everyone's cup of tea. I'll be voting for them!  

GONZO for the win!

[foxfreakinmulder]

4 hours ago, saber5055 said:

Cheer up. We get to see Tambourine Man in the lives. So all is good, right?

Oh crap, I forgot about him. Another stupid act that shouldn't have made past his 1st audition.

[foxfreakinmulder]

4 hours ago, Commando Cody said:

I don't know what was going on at the end. It was like they were all set to put the one kid through, but Simon changed his mind. I actually thought Simon was going to make a ruling to send them both through. I was kind of surprised. It really sucked for that other kid. 

I thought the same that Simon was going to put both through. That was bad and should've ended up on the cutting room floor. Simon is turning into a big drama queen!

[saber5055]

35 minutes ago, InternetToughGuy said:

That aside, it's funny how everyone here, myself included seems to complain about how boring the show is, yet doesn't just turn it off

I like this show, it's been a must-see for me every season. I seldom see the first night it's on but I make a point to catch the rerun. Heck, I'll even watch the rerun if I did see the Tuesday-night broadcast. It's not boring in my book although sometimes my mind wanders. But that happens a lot with me, I don't blame the show.

Plus I like posting about it here, so there's that added bonus.

[Sounder]

Going to the live shows:  Ansley Burns.   Like we didn't know all along.  

[helenamonster]

1 hour ago, Sounder said:

Going to the live shows:  Ansley Burns.   Like we didn't know all along.  

Christ. She almost needs to win at this point to pay for the therapy bills the emotional upheaval of being on this show has probably necessitated.