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Halting Hex

Jonathan "Jack" Matthews: Hello, My Name Is …"AquaSham"

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Yes, you can call him Fauxmoa or Diet Drogo or whatever, but IMO he's trying to be Aquaman rather than Jason Momoa, and besides he's so thoroughly fake.  And I'm not just talking about his "more alliances than Brian Hart" strategy or his constant playing to the cameras.

(Yes, Tyler had F2s all over the House, but that's easy play.  All it takes is the same six words ["You and me, to the end"] over and over.  Jack has overlapping large alliances.  He's in three separate alliances that have been named on-air with Jackson/Analyse/Christie alone.  [Although in one case they showed him invoking the alliance name without showing us the alliance being formed.] And that's not counting his Jackoffs F2 with Jackson or anything else.  [I only watch BBAD in sync with the episodes and read the Feeds thread after the fact;  I avoid actual spoilers like the plague.])

Have you noticed Jack's tattoo on his left forearm?  The one that looks as though it might be in Hebrew, but that's really just a stylized font?  (That's not an ayin, it's just a y.)  You might have had trouble reading it (it reads "KNOW YOUR WORTH") for two reasons:

1) the font, and 

2) it's inked as a reverse image; in other words, it's only easily readable when viewed in a mirror.

Yes, Jack went to all the trouble of getting a tattoo so he could flex in front of mirrors and read his affirmation.  Because getting a Post-It and sticking it to the mirror would be too much trouble, I guess.  Never mind that he could afford roughly 500,000 Post-Its for what the tatt likely ran him.  What a freaking douche-starship.  (callaphera dubbed him a douche-craft carrier in the Feeds thread.  I'm sorry, but I have to upgrade him beyond even that.)

And besides, it shouldn't be too tough to memorize the answer.  To paraphrase Mike Ditka, "Hey, Buddy, I got your [worth] right here!  ZERO!!"

I mean, duh.

Depressing thought:  even if Jack did continue his Devin-trajectory (obnoxious HoH Week 2, voted out Week 3), he wouldn't get to "enjoy" spending time at Camp Brown People with David, Ovi, and [hypothetically] Jessica.  No time as part of a "sampler platter" (one black, one brown, one Latina, one IMO likely bigot) in that Den of Shame and Squalor…Jack would go right into the BattleJack, er BattleBack, which will probably turn out to be "stack these items on a high shelf" or something else Totally Not Rigged for him.  He wouldn't even have to move his bag upstairs.

Sigh.

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15 minutes ago, Halting Hex said:

Have you noticed Jack's tattoo on his left forearm?  The one that looks as though it might be in Hebrew, but that's really just a stylized font?  (That's not an ayin, it's just a y.)  You might have had trouble reading it (it reads "KNOW YOUR WORTH") for two reasons:

1) the font, and 

2) it's inked as a reverse image; in other words, it's only easily readable when viewed in a mirror.

Yes, Jack went to all the trouble of getting a tattoo so he could flex in front of mirrors and read his affirmation.  Because getting a Post-It and sticking it to the mirror would be too much trouble, I guess.  Never mind that he could afford roughly 500,000 Post-Its for what the tatt likely ran him. 

This is an excellent explanation for why while I enjoy tattoos on pretty people, I tend to glaze over the details. We need a poll: which is dumber? 1) Hello my name is, or 2) Mirrored know your worth?

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8 hours ago, IndyMischa said:

This is an excellent explanation for why while I enjoy tattoos on pretty people, I tend to glaze over the details. We need a poll: which is dumber? 1) Hello my name is, or 2) Mirrored know your worth?

I guess it's "I know my worth, but I forgot my name."  

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Editing the title to account for something I learned while watching YouTube vids about Jack.  (Which was very…educational, let's say.)  Per his DUI arrest records, he's legally "Jonathan" Matthews, and "Jack" is just a nickname.

Hardly shocking, as "Jack" is generally a nickname, as with President Kennedy, for example.  (But not always; MLB civil rights pioneer Jackie Robinson was born "Jack Rosevelt Robinson", to cite one case.)  It's just that it makes the whole "Michie" situation seem like bullying, since "Jackson" is his legal name.  "Hey, bro, nice name.  It's MINE now. Find another."

I know, there are much bigger reasons to hate Jack. (And things that rhyme with "bigger", but I digress…)  But it annoys me enough that I've decided I will only call Jackson "Michie" on rare occasions, even if the show itself perpetuates it.

And remember, Grodner appears to have had no problem with any Jack v. Jackson "confusion";  both names were used in the pre-show materials and are still in the credits.  It appears to be only Mr. "I'm the most jacked 'Jack' there is!" Matthews who had a problem with "Michie" biting his "glory" and told Jackson to cuck off.

I guess this casts the "Hello, My Name Is ______" tattoo in a somewhat different light. 

(A pure white light, of course, "Jack".  Don't make a monkey out of yourself, bro.  Chill.)

Edited by Halting Hex
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Um.  Wow.  I had to watch those a few times before I understood what I was watching.  (Damn my eyes!)

So, in the first one, Diet Drogo was rubbing food against his crotch?  Ewww.

In the second one, AquaSham spied David on screen, and felt compelled to walk and act like an ape?  That's really, really, not right.  As in, really, really, wrong.  Man.  I guess so long as there are/were no direct racist actions (other than ostracizing, nominating, and voting out) like happened in that infamous season where...wasn't it a bed flipping?...caused such pushback on social and other media that BB was forced to address it?  The Gina-Marie, Aryan season?  What Jason Mimosa did there was just egregious.  I can't believe nobody in the room called him out on it.  Oh wait.  I just remembered who all was in the room with him.

For shame.

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16 hours ago, HurricaneVal said:

that infamous season where...wasn't it a bed flipping?...caused such pushback on social and other media that BB was forced to address it?

S15 discussion responded to in the "Past Seasons Chit-Chat" thread.

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Jack makes another distasteful (at minimum) / racist (at worst) comment directed toward Bella:

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Oh, no!  Jack's been…evicted!

Not from the game (alas…), but from the advertisrment for the Live Feeds.  Ovi's still there (aw) and Analyse says her complicated line ("Here you go!") just fine.  I guess it didn't take too many retakes for her to get the three words correct.  I doubt we were in "Scatman Crothers crossing the road" territory, or anything like that.

But after Julie gets her bit…no more Jack saying "Bring it!"  He's been replaced by Cliff.  So sad.

I haven't checked any "favorite HGs" polls as yet, but I'm thinking that Production may have.  Ouch, Arthur Curry!  Sorry, 'dude.  (Okay, not much.  But still.)

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What is problematic with Jack's back/shoulder tattoo that he has to keep a bandage on it?  Anyone know?

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50 minutes ago, bkathi said:

What is problematic with Jack's back/shoulder tattoo that he has to keep a bandage on it?  Anyone know?

I've read that it's a Chicago Bulls tattoo and copyright(?) rules require them to cover it.

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18 hours ago, sphoebus31 said:

I've read that it's a Chicago Bulls tattoo and copyright(?) rules require them to cover it.

Thanks!

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