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Kandi Burruss: Atlanta's Own Willy Wonka


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As someone commented, it's very telling that there are no men in the photo. Or anywhere around, I suspect. The "ratchet granny with razor blades under her tongue" probably scared them all off. :)

Kandi alluded to this in her first season. She was talking about the father of her daughter and she said something about how growing up everybody she knew was a single mom and she didn't have that much contact with men so it never really occurred to her to think about the men in her life in terms of if they would be a good husband or father. I think her daughter's father has never been involved and at the time that seemed normal, but later she started to have some regrets about not looking for different qualities in men. I sort of see her doing the same thing with Todd. She just seems to have a hard time wrapping her head around the concept of him being a real person. She can get this "you're still here" look when he tries to talk to her about anything other than sex.

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Kandi seems to be on a mission to post as many photos of her and Todd together as she can on her Facebook page. I don't remember anything like it when they were in the dating phase. It's almost as if she's trying to convince everyone they are happy.

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Kandi and Todd are so interesting/depressing to me. While I don't have anywhere NEAR the financial resources Kandi does, I have been told I'm "too independent" before. I have a habit of just taking care of stuff myself rather than asking a man to do it. In the literal sense, I don't need a man - I make enough for everything I need and some of what I want, I have family, friends, hobbies, etc. And I do need a certain amount of space in a relationship. I am seeing a man now who is more well-off than I and likes to be a caretaker, and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. (My issue, not his, and I own it. We've talked about it.)

 

But one thing I do know, even never having been married, is that you can't be partnered and carry on as if you're single, which IMO is what Kandi does. And that's not even getting into Joyce - I'd have dumped Kandi after that dinner where Joyce said there was no mountain high enough to keep her off Todd's ass. (?!) You have to let a man be a man sometimes, and Kandi doesn't. And you have to be a team, and Kandi seems to put everyone ahead of Todd. The way she allows her staff to disrespect Todd to his face is completely unacceptable.

 

I do get the sense that Todd isn't going to to put all his business in the street - I think he wasn't cool with the televised therapy session, so he just wasn't going to go there. 

 

And I wish my mother WOULD tell me she wanted my old house back after I bought her a different one. "Can I swap houses?" No God, honey.

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something in the buttermilk is not right with Kandi.  I just cannot understand why she couldn't see what was going on with Phaedra.  I am sitting here millions of miles away and have never met any of them and I knew there was abuse going on.  For that reason, I can actually understand why Phaedra didn't call Kandi because of what she was going through.  Kandi, on the otherhand is mostly angry with Todd because she cannot control him so she reverted to her mothers age old reasoning and declared that he must be cheating so she may have to kick him out. 

 

I guess I also don't understand why she would get so angry with Nene but still do this day not reach out to Phaedra.  She doesn't see anyone's problems as very important except her own.  When she went to see Phaedra, she didn't ask how the woman was doing but why she telling all Kandi's business to Nene.  Not once during the boohooing and hurt feelings did even seem the slightest concerned about what her friend was going through.  This is the same feeling I got from her with her other BFF Carmon who was being harassed by Kandi's mother.  Now with Todd, she doesn't seem to care that he is being emasculated by everyone in her family, only that he isn't doing his husbandly duties and presenting her with another brat-I mean child.

 

You really should check yourself when your own husband cannot find one positive thing to say about you.

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I think -- and it's a guess on my part -- that Kandi is upset that Phaedra went to NeNe and Porsha with her complaints, instead of talking directly to her. I know I would hate to find out through the grapevine that a friend is upset with me for something. I'd rather hear it direct from them. We have no way of knowing for sure if either of them called each other. The storyline for the show is that there were no calls. Bravo can't handle the truth if it doesn't make for a juicy storyline.

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All kandi had to do is pick up the phone and that problem would not even exist.  Phaedra was very occupied with keeping herself and her children  physically safe.  Actually, Phaedra mentioned in her blog that she tried to call Kandi after they talked in her office but Kandi wouldn't and still isn't speaking to her.

 

Kandi, on the otherhand, admitted she didn't call or text Phaedra during her crisis.  However, she expected Phaedra to call her, instead.

Edited by Aging Goth
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Kandi, on the otherhand, admitted she didn't call or text Phaedra during her crisis.  However, she expected Phaedra to call her, instead.

 

I didn't get that vibe from her, Aging Goth. I don't think she expected Phaedra to call her. Until it was revealed that Phaedra was talking about it to NeNe and Porsha. Then Kandi wondered why she didn't call her if they were such good friends. As usual, this thing has gotten totally blown out of proportion by NeNe and Porsha.

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Good morning, cooksdelight!  That is when she mentioned it.  She still got all in her feelings about Phaedra going to Nene for support.  However, it was Nene who recognized what was happening and went to Phaedra, not the other way around.  Nene did what Kandi should have done.  Phaedra is the type that internalizes her problems.  She is a very private person.  Kandi was expecting Phaedra to just tell her all the crap that was happening like she tells all her business about Todd but she should have known Phaedra is not like that. 

 

This is what Phaedra alludes to is that she didn't have to holler for help, Somebody realized she needed help.

Edited by Aging Goth
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I think -- and it's a guess on my part -- that Kandi is upset that Phaedra went to NeNe and Porsha with her complaints, instead of talking directly to her. I know I would hate to find out through the grapevine that a friend is upset with me for something. I'd rather hear it direct from them. We have no way of knowing for sure if either of them called each other. The storyline for the show is that there were no calls. Bravo can't handle the truth if it doesn't make for a juicy storyline.

The point that Kandi is missing is Phaedra didn't GO to anybody. Porsha and Nene were the only 2 to support her and when Phaedra actually said such, they (as they should have) asked where Kandi had been.

I didn't get that vibe from her, Aging Goth. I don't think she expected Phaedra to call her. Until it was revealed that Phaedra was talking about it to NeNe and Porsha. Then Kandi wondered why she didn't call her if they were such good friends. As usual, this thing has gotten totally blown out of proportion by NeNe and Porsha.

Actually, I'd blame it on Kandi. She got SO in her feelings about why Porsha and Nene knew things she didn't, completely hopping over the fact that they knew these things BECAUSE THEY WENT TO VISIT PHAEDRA.  Phaedra didn't drive anywhere to shade Kandi, it came up when the 2 women came to check up on her.  For Kandi to listen to what they told her and only take from it that Phaedra was talking about her behind her back, instead of picking up that her friend needed her took Kandi even lower in my estimation.  There was a very gross Mama Joyce type of reaction to the Phaedra thing that I can't vibe with.

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I can see your point of view, Watermelon, and I can also see it from that side. The more these women talk about their childhood (or lack, thereof) the more convinced I am that they ALL need to be in some type of therapy to work out the mommy issues. Kandi more than the others. Joyce has totally fucked up her way of thinking about things, and I feel badly for Riley knowing she will get the same values.

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I can see your point of view, Watermelon, and I can also see it from that side. The more these women talk about their childhood (or lack, thereof) the more convinced I am that they ALL need to be in some type of therapy to work out the mommy issues. Kandi more than the others. Joyce has totally fucked up her way of thinking about things, and I feel badly for Riley knowing she will get the same values.

I still don't understand how Kandi is able to stand up to literally EVERYBODY except her mother. You'd think some of that fearlessness would have trickled down to being able to at least talk to Joyce without the tears and the cry voice, but nope.

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I think Kandi is scared to death of her mother abandoning her and shutting her out. When I think of Kenya having the fears of abandonment with her mother giving her away....to Kandi having the same type of fear with a mother who is batshit crazy... I think Kenya came out better in the long run.

Kandi has said it many times, don't talk shit about my momma. But her momma can talk shit about Kandi's husband until the cows come home.

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Kandi is one of those people who was raised to never "sass" your mother.  That meant you never go against your mother no matter what she does, because she's your mother.   The problem is, what happens when your mother is abusive to you, your friends, a spouse?  

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The problem is, what happens when your mother is abusive to you, your friends, a spouse?  

 

You wind up on a reality show talking in detail about your sex life, letting your family and friends criticize your spouse, and then you go to marriage counseling on TV while you're at it.

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I've been watching the earlier seasons. This may have been discussed before, but it's amazing how some of the same issues that were brought up w/ Todd occurred with Kandi's relationship w/ her fiance AJ. Some of the scenes from the second season look like they could take place this or last season -- Mama Joyce didn't want Kandi to marry AJ because of all of his kids. In the "Kim-tervention" episode, Kandi tells her Mom, "I don't know how to please you and still be happy in my relationship." It was a line that could have come from one of the recent episodes of THIS season.

 

I wonder if Kandi has ever looked at these old episodes and made that connection???

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I doubt it.

She's catching hell on her Facebook page, to the point she just posted this:

OK... so I totally don't mind that people have opinions and I appreciate when y'all give me "tough love" feedback because it shows that you care... but the comments lately have been outright disrespectful and just hurtful and rude. I'm trying to offer a community here for good times; where we can also be vulnerable and be uplifted. So, moving fwd if you are rude, ugly mean and disrespectful... I'm blocking you. Peace & Blessings

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Kandi will never get it. He mom could take a knife and physically stab her multiple times and Kandi would just roll her eyes and say, "That's just how my mama rolls." She's incredibly obtuse.

True - Kandi should walk away from that hateful woman.

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Kandi and Todd have been celebrating their first year anniversary in Paris, London and Amsterdam. She's posted some photos on her Facebook page. It looks like they are having a great time.

Good to know - the marriage looks pretty rocky on the show.

Edited by nexxie
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https://www.facebook.com/KandiFans/photos/pb.235984194379.-2207520000.1426305703./10153154855719380/?type=3&theater

 

Here is the picture I mentioned of Joyce back in the day.  [...]  Also, some of the comments are hilarious. One says that Aunt Bertha looks like Beyonce (She DOES!) and another says Kandi's grandma looks like she has razor blades hid under her tongue. She DOES look like a meanie!

 

I will never stop laughing at this comment:  "Look don't nobody like yo mama crazy ass but you and ya auntie"

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Isn't it, though? The guy just wants to make a living, and his business takes him to L.A. Other than Riley being in school at the time, there is NOTHING from stopping Kandi from going out there on weekends, and taking her daughter with her. After all the prenup angst from Kandi, I do not understand why she is being so difficult. Unless it's her version of control. Money, money, money.... that's all she knows in how to get people to do what she wants them to do.

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I just read that Kandi is doing her own spinoff in May, a 3 part special called Kandi's Ski Trip. There is even a teaser trailer already. Todd and Kandi take their families on a ski trip to Colorado in an effort to unite the 2 sides. The trailer was horrible. More of Kandi's aunts and MJ acting like spoiled brats. I'm imagining either no one will tune in for this at all, or those who do will simply be for the train wreck factor. I honestly don't care to watch it.

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I just read that Kandi is doing her own spinoff in May, a 3 part special called Kandi's Ski Trip. There is even a teaser trailer already. Todd and Kandi take their families on a ski trip to Colorado in an effort to unite the 2 sides. The trailer was horrible. More of Kandi's aunts and MJ acting like spoiled brats. I'm imagining either no one will tune in for this at all, or those who do will simply be for the train wreck factor. I honestly don't care to watch it.

I really thought you were kidding until I found the trailer on Youtube. Trailer if anyone is interested:

Edited by Chrissytd
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Oh crap, are you serious??? WHY do we need MJ and the coven thrust in our faces? I used to like the aunts until they started siding with Joyce against Kandi and Todd. They aren't funny anymore.

Maybe if they do buy some pot, they might lighten up.

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I have no idea why Kandi is so pressed to show off her shitty mother to the world.  If she can buy every bitch in the building like she claims she ought not pawn off her terrible mother on the world for a paycheck.

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I have no problem with Kandi letting Todd know through a pre nup that her previous money was not community property, why should it be.  Kandi always made it clear that any money they made together, they would share and any money she made prior to the money was hers.  I don't see a problem with that.  I have a problem with Todd wanting any of Kandi's previous money, why?? he is young and able he should work.  Yes the discussion of him being gone a lot is tiring, but he should have let Kandi know during the relationship he would be gone a lot.  It was his decision to turn down jobs to be with Kandi, he should have prepared her for what being with him entailed.  I give him a side eye for even thinking he was entitled to any of Kanid's before money.  Todd can also make money in ATL and Kandi is willing to go into business with him, so I think the whole LA thing is spiteful.  Fine let him make his own money so he can't complain about not having any.  Also Kandi is complaining because this is new to her, him being gone so often, she is finding ways to make it work.  Traveling back and forth might work, but I don't think uprooting Reilly is fair, because from Kandi's Instagram, you can see Reilly is very active in after school activities, such as track and basketball.  That pretty much means she can't leave for months at a time, or even weekends.  

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he is young and able he should work. Yes the discussion of him being gone a lot is tiring, but he should have let Kandi know during the relationship he would be gone a lot.

They met when Todd was working for Bravo in Africa on the trip they took a couple of years ago. Kandi has known from the beginning that he has to travel for work. I don't think Todd expected Kandi to share her money with him.... but..... if she expected him to stay put and only work on projects with her, how much money would he be able to make doing that? Versus having his own production company? I don't know too many men who's pride and self-respect would let them sit at home with their wife, working on her projects only. Especially if they are as unsuccessful at that awful play was. And as hands-off as Kandi is with her staff, letting them do whatever they liked.

Atlanta to Los Angeles is a 4-hour flight. Kandi can come and go as she pleases most of the time. Todd needs to be where the production facilities are in order to make his own money and have his own career. He will not be a kept man, it's just not in his personality, from what I've seen.

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They met when Todd was working for Bravo in Africa on the trip they took a couple of years ago. Kandi has known from the beginning that he has to travel for work. I don't think Todd expected Kandi to share her money with him.... but..... if she expected him to stay put and only work on projects with her, how much money would he be able to make doing that? Versus having his own production company? I don't know too many men who's pride and self-respect would let them sit at home with their wife, working on her projects only. Especially if they are as unsuccessful at that awful play was. And as hands-off as Kandi is with her staff, letting them do whatever they liked.

Atlanta to Los Angeles is a 4-hour flight. Kandi can come and go as she pleases most of the time. Todd needs to be where the production facilities are in order to make his own money and have his own career. He will not be a kept man, it's just not in his personality, from what I've seen.

Whatever, I am still side eying him!

Just wait, it is going to be another "Jason" situation.

And if he did not care about being taking care of, he would have signed the prenup quicklier.

Let's face it, he married for a come-up and he needs to be sensitive toward Riley's needs.

Who does he think he is?

And that bonnet situation????

That speaks volume regarding his true attraction toward his wife.

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Whatever, I am still side eying him!

Just wait, it is going to be another "Jason" situation.

And if he did not care about being taking care of, he would have signed the prenup quicklier.

Let's face it, he married for a come-up and he needs to be sensitive toward Riley's needs.

Who does he think he is?

And that bonnet situation????

That speaks volume regarding his true attraction toward his wife.

As far as the prenup goes, was it that he waited til the last minute or that Kandi didn't even give it to Todd until right before the wedding? because I remember it the latter way.  

The bonnet situation is a part of a bigger picture where Kandi lets all her friends and family shit on Todd. It's not hard to see why he may not be as attracted to Kandi as before the wedding.

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Comment winner:  "she wants a kept man but don't wanna pay to keep him"

 

I have no problem with Kandi letting Todd know through a pre nup that her previous money was not community property, why should it be.  Kandi always made it clear that any money they made together, they would share and any money she made prior to the money was hers.

 

I don't know the specific terms of their prenup, but in terms of splitting assets in a divorce, this is a presumption of every marriage.  Each spouse is only entitled to a percentage of the marital assets (money made during their marriage) for money made beforehand, each keeps that.  Exceptions are made for complications like retirement plans and money made as a result of the other's emotional support but generally, you don't need a prenup to state this, so this can't be Todd's interest, she was already protected.   Todd doesn't strike me as a golddigger at all because he don't need to wait no time to start diggin, his pain and suffering is right there on screen, he could file today and get a check. 

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