S15.E08: Week 8: Amsterdam

[OnceSane]

Quote

Hannah and a date take a romantic boat trip along Amsterdam's canals; a bachelor puts his heart on the line, prompting Hannah to make an unexpected decision; the three-on-one date becomes explosive.

Airs July 1, 2019.

[saber5055]

Coming in this episode: Luke eats salami just like Chad. Is this a coincidence?

LOL. I want to see how Hannah gets out of the middle of that five-mile-long field of tulips.

[bosawks]

Mike was the only one who got the “stand  up, smile, and be excited” memo...

[nutty1]

The dog was adorable!!

[bosawks]

To:  Bachelorette  editor who spliced in the disgusted dog with corresponding groan 

From: bosawks

Marry me.

[saber5055]

What is the green drink of the Netherlands? I'm serious. What is that?

[dirtypop90]

Did jed just say "We're english?"  I said I was done snarking about Jed  but he makes it SO hard.  

[adhoc]

Hannah must be really doctored up; she doesn't sound great.

Hannah: ....slow to say how I feel...protective of my heart....know I should open up and not be afraid...

Me:  No, don't open up! Be afraid!

Damn, her producer really is good.

[DEL901]

2 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

Did jed just say "We're english?"  I said I was done snarking about Jed  but he makes it SO hard.  

He also refused to give a straight answer to the lady’s question about how long they had known each other,.... in fact, he was border line rude, IMO.  

[saber5055]

Now that I have my first HDTV, I can't stop staring at Hannah's plastic eyelashes. They are white on top. What's up with that?

Does this show run an ad for old people who have been married forever so they can chat with the B and her date? It happens in every foreign city. i was wanting the man to pipe up and say they really are not married and are only sitting together because the show's editor told them to, and paid them each a hundred Amsterdam bucks to follow the script.

4 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

Did jed just say "We're english?"  I said I was done snarking about Jed  but he makes it SO hard.  

Even he doesn't want to admit he's American. That, or he's just a dumb ass. Take your pick.

Edited July 2, 2019 by saber5055

[talktoomuch]

So Tyler and Jed are her top 2? No spoilers. Just asking.

[nutty1]

1 minute ago, talktoomuch said:

So Tyler and Jed are her top 2? No spoilers. Just asking.

It would be a spoiler if we answered, no matter what the answer! 😮

[dirtypop90]

Jed is the first to get a second 1-on-1.  But he has no personality and I see no spark.  I don't get it.  

[nutty1]

The new trend must be for the lead to tell multiple contestants she or he loves them. 

[saber5055]

Oh, man, Hannah's "conversation" over dinner with Jed is so freaking painful. Girl doesn't have a brain cell in that head.

[talktoomuch]

3 minutes ago, nutty1 said:

5 minutes ago, talktoomuch said:

So Tyler and Jed are her top 2? No spoilers. Just asking.

It would be a spoiler if we answered, no matter what the answer! 😮

Awww...damnit. Ok. Guesses are welcome. 😏

3 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

Jed is the first to get a second 1-on-1.  But he has no personality and I see no spark.  I don't get it.  

I don't either. Seems so forced. But she keeps choosing him first even in group settings.

Edited July 2, 2019 by talktoomuch

[bosawks]

Obviously, “today was the best day ever” was in Jed’s script.

Do I think Garret cares about Hannah, not really.

Do I think he’s living to fuck with Luke, absolutely.

Edited July 2, 2019 by bosawks

[TheFinalRose]

Jed's face is more "oh crap, how do i get out of this?" than "you are my true luv 4-evah.

[saber5055]

1 minute ago, dirtypop90 said:

Jed is the first to get a second 1-on-1.  But he has no personality and I see no spark.  I don't get it.  

I see no personality in Hannah, so IMO they are perfect for each other.

1 minute ago, nutty1 said:

The new trend must be for the lead to tell multiple contestants she or he loves them. 

Yes, so at the end when she must make up her decision between the two men she "loves," she can do a couple Mesnicks, cry a lot, sob into CH's arms, and look wistfully off into the sunset while she makes up her mind which is her One True Luv.

[dirtypop90]

2 minutes ago, nutty1 said:

The new trend must be for the lead to tell multiple contestants she or he loves them. 

Hasn't she only told one?

2 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Oh, man, Hannah's "conversation" over dinner with Jed is so freaking painful. Girl doesn't have a brain cell in that head.

Neither does. IMO

1 minute ago, talktoomuch said:

I don't either. Seems so forced. But she keeps choosing him first even in group settings.

Yes.  She definitely wants him. I just don't know why. His so-so singing? 

[saber5055]

1 minute ago, TheFinalRose said:

Jed's face is more "oh crap, how do i get out of this?" than "you are my true luv 4-evah.

Especially when he said something like, "My heart just fell through the earth." Ha ha. When your heart sinks, that is not a good thing. Freudian slip? Maybe. Maybe not.

[Kiss my mutt]

Jed?  Mr. I wanna be a Nashville star? He is just so fug to me and looks wimpy someone through away that frickin’ jacket. 

[DEL901]

Did I hear correctly...did Jed say his heart just dropped to the floor?    That usually isn’t a good thing.   

[nutty1]

3 minutes ago, talktoomuch said:

Awww...damnit. Ok. Guesses are welcome. 😏

All the scoop is in the spoiler thread!

[bosawks]

I can’t believe at this late date I still don’t remember adenoid guy’s name.

[SHD]

She’s sick! Why is she kissing people?! She’s going to start a pandemic.

[adhoc]

nothing here

Edited July 2, 2019 by adhoc

[talktoomuch]

I think that premature recap-ulation a couple of weeks ago broke our thread. We have lost so many of our live recappers. ☹

2 minutes ago, nutty1 said:

All the scoop is in the spoiler thread!

But if I get spoiled it's like I care.

[dirtypop90]

Just now, adhoc said:

The least the post-production crew could have done is to superimpose cartoon dollar signs coming out of Jed's eyes when he was sweet-talking Hannah. I'm disappointed.

Literally the only thing I see in Jed's eyes are dollar signs.

[bosawks]

Just now, SHD said:

She’s sick! Why is she kissing people?! She’s going to start a pandemic.

At least something about her has some energy... 

[TiredMe]

It’s almost like I can see the germ transfer from her saliva to him. I am so squicked out. But he’s an idiot so esss okkk.  (TM Juan Pablo)

Edited July 2, 2019 by TiredMe

[saber5055]

LOL! Tyler's jeans are also skin-tight stretch jeans, like those white pants. And he rolls them up so they are high-water pants too, like the white ones!

Oh, man, they are going to ride Friesian horses, only the most COOL HORSES ever (besides my American Saddlebreds.)

What a bunch of dumb asses. A horse won't move forward when you are clinging to the reins and pulling back, which mean STOP in horse language.  Worst waste of a date ever. Tyler barfing the fish describes how I feel about this date. I hate both of these people right now.

[ECM1231]

Tyler is so outdoorsy so I am surprised he is not more adept at riding. Those horses are gorgeous! My late mom would have loved that herring! Ewww!  I'm with Tyler on that one.

[Kiss my mutt]

Is Hannah always sick??

[DEL901]

Lol at Tyler’s face/expression when Hannah was grilling him.  

[bosawks]

I think the horses were having a more interesting conversation than Tyler and Hannah.

[nutty1]

What exactly did she want from Tyler?!

[talktoomuch]

This part where she's trying to get Tyler to say he loves her and pinpoint the moment he realized it is painful. "Mac and cheese or spaghetti?"

Edited July 2, 2019 by talktoomuch

[dirtypop90]

It is so odd to watch her grill Tyler, who's done nothing but show he cares and take up for her.  But she believes every word Jed spits out.

Edited July 2, 2019 by dirtypop90
typo

[tennisgurl]

Why is she sitting here grilling Tyler when she has so many better grill choices? And is it me, or does Hannah sound almost auto tuned? 

[saber5055]

Oh, wow, Hannah walking and wearing that faux fur coat over a mini dress that can't be seen made me think hooker, which is totally legal in Amsterdam.

Just now, tennisgurl said:

And is it me, or does Hannah sound almost auto tuned? 

YES! And not almost auto tuned, ALWAYS auto tuned.

[bosawks]

“I want you to vomit your most painful experiences as proof as your love!”

Way to be an emotional sadist, Hannah.

[FlyingEgret]

Hannah must be sick - she picked the robe instead of a dress out of her closet...

[TheFinalRose]

Hannah left a note: Hey Mom and Dad. No one died a tragic death in our family so instead I just trashed your relationship on national tv to show I can go deep! Such is the price of fame.

Connor must be going home as we've never heard from him so much.

Edited July 2, 2019 by TheFinalRose
added more thoughts

[bosawks]

I honestly could not look at Tyler and not laugh at the Hugh Hefner blazer.

[saber5055]

I swear the editors add those LOUD SUCKING NOISES when Hannah kisses. Most adults know how to perform that task silently.

Edited July 2, 2019 by saber5055

[FlyingEgret]

Connor?

[bosawks]

Conner, god, I’m just never going to get that name.

[SassyCat]

Is it me or does Hannah look more insane than ever prying into Tyler's thinking process. Close talking the whole time real close in his face with those shiny eyes and teeth. Scary!! Run Tyler RUN!

[dirtypop90]

Just now, SassyCat said:

Is it me or does Hannah look more insane than ever prying into Tyler's thinking process. Close talking the whole time real close in his face with those shiny eyes and teeth. Scary!! Run Tyler RUN!

I want Tyler far far away from her.