S09.E03: Don't Kiss On the First Wedding Night

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

The Mother Just sits there and let’s him blabber nonsense.  She should tell him to shut up or ship out.  What a dousch he is and she’s a puppet.  Doesn’t she have a voice?

She's going along with the gag knowing that the producers probably gave him extra money to act that way.  No way would any of this happen "in real life".

[STRIDER1]

Heres the reaction from big red chardonnays dad...... while he is watching the steaming bedroom scenes with jamie and his daughter

LOL 😂😂😂

Edited June 27, 2019 by STRIDER1
typo

[STRIDER1]

5 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Dag Deonna, you can't even give Greg "smitten"? Geesh. She's a touch rigid.

Yep, theres the side effect of that 10 plus years of her incredibly insane "so called dating herself" rearing its ugly head right there.

Deonna sees nothing, hears nothing, speaks nothing and evidently KNOWS NOTHING !!!

😂😂😂

Edited June 27, 2019 by STRIDER1
typo

[STRIDER1]

4 hours ago, endure said:

How cruel and stressful having the spouses meet up alone with the in-laws after the wedding night?  I don't recall this other seasons.

The show stated that this is the 1st time that they are doing/trying this.

[SallySarue]

5 hours ago, Mercolleen said:

People brushing their teeth make me gag.

Especially when they have gobs of toothpaste foam all over the outside of their mouth while brushing. This is one of my pet peeves. There is no reason to look like a rabid dog when brushing your teeth if you keep the toothbrush & toothpaste in your mouth. It's not hard!

[STRIDER1]

2 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

Oops how do I delete this? I was trying to edit my own post but accidentally clicked on the "quote" icon next to it. But instead, somehow I am now quoting myself??? WTF? hahaha 😂

Well in any case since I dont know how to delete or undo this post, so mind as well post a random pic of my super sexy TeeVee wifey amanda, since sadly she didnt make it to episode 3 lol 😍❤️❤️

Edited June 27, 2019 by STRIDER1
I dont know how to delete this accidentally quoting of myself hahaha

[LennieBriscoe]

Sing it with me, you MAFSers!

I made it to the TV show!

And now I'm good to go!

Saved myself for all these years....

Until they offered dough!

I was pure, 

Insecure. 

I'd been good, I was "Daddy's girl."

But they offered Keith---

He has all-all-all his teeth!

So I said, "Sure!"

"I'm a virgin!"

Said for the thirtieth time!

She's a vir-ir-ir-ir-gin,

Quite the mean feat

In our time!

Edited June 27, 2019 by LennieBriscoe

[ShowFan]

6 hours ago, Soup333 said:

Can you elaborate? How is it a classic example?

Toxic dependency. Failing her as an independent adult. Sabotaging her relationship. And we don’t even know what else may be there. Of course there are worse cases ...abusers, drug addicts etc. But he is way up there too

[LennieBriscoe]

Some women dye their hair red-red and suddenly it's "I Love Lucy" time. 

"Lizbeth, you've got some 'splaining to do!"

[humbleopinion]

The tease showed that Iris is not going to give the farm away so easily...if you get my drift...

Keith, with his model looks, musician vibe has been a panty dropper for at least a decade.

He doesn't seem that thrilled that he is married to an amateur....

Does Mr. Bedroom Eyes wait for her to succumb to his charms or does he jump through the hoops Iris sets up and work hard to earn "it"......

Edited June 27, 2019 by humbleopinion

[humbleopinion]

Deonna managed to convince the producers and "experts" that she is ready for love but she is not.

Deonna is an armadillo in a clam shell surrounded by a minefield....

Greg will not be able to keep up with her mood swings as shown by the  too many, too few compliment clip...

 She is snippy and dismissive with the emphatic eyelid shut and pursed lips...

 Deonna will Greg punish for the sins of the high school bf who broke her heart and skewered her psyche...shades of Moustachely for the long time fans....

Greg doesn't deserve to be her punching bag...

Greg will tire of groveling for crumbs of affection.....and withdraw mentally....

When Greg starts ordering double desserts and walking around their house with a box of cookies under his arm and a bowl of ice cream in hand then he has rounded the bend......

Edited June 27, 2019 by humbleopinion

[humbleopinion]

Amber was so excited...to have a husband...to be on a honeymoon ...to be on foreign soil... that she sounded like she was huffing helium in last night's episode.

Feel bad for the camera guy...hard to get a clean shot with Amber so low to the ground and Matt skimming the ceiling....

Production needs to start carrying a milk crate for Amber to stand on or we will be seeing Amber always in his lap like a ventriloquist dummy....

Or on the bed/couch like Tristan/Mia

 Or in the pool with Amber clinging to him like a baby bonobo...

[LennieBriscoe]

I hereby nominate for "Best Use of Alliteration in a Reality TV Show Thread" the estimable humble opinion's.... 

"baby bonobo"! 👏

[humbleopinion]

Best early morning lyricist...LennieB 👏

Edited June 27, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Gem 10]

7 hours ago, answerphone said:

How many times will it be pointed out "she's a virgin"?  🤔.

I'm over it already.

Another thought... Didn't we all start as virgins? 🤔

He doesn’t seem too thrilled with it either.  He doesn’t know what to do with her, like she’s some China Doll or something.  It’s overplayed already.

[discoprincessthe2]

11 hours ago, Soup333 said:

Doesn’t Elizabeth have siblings? Sisters? Is the father this wildly inappropriate with all of them? Or is just this daughter that he has a special relationship with? 

Beth is the youngest of her siblings. 

10 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Deonna is starting to remind me of Jasmine.  I am going to need her to chill. Greg strikes me as a decent guy AKA good husband material. I hope she doesn't blow it. 

Why is Keith on here?  Did he lose a bet?  He is tall, dark, handsome, seems nice and is  gainfully employed.  In other words, the full package.  Doesn't make sense. 

I wonder whether Keith's profession would have been enough for Jasmine. He's essentially doing what Will spoke about. 

[topanga]

6 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

Heres the reaction from big red chardonnays dad...... while he is watching the steaming bedroom scenes with jamie and his daughter

LOL 😂😂😂

On their first wedding night, when they were still at the local hotel and there was a knock at the door--I shouted at the TV, "If that's Elizabeth's dad, I will lose my sh*t." But no, it was the gift basket with their honeymoon itinerary. 

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Deonna managed to convince the producers and "experts" that she is ready for love but she is not.

Deonna is an armadillo in a clam shell surrounded by a minefield....

That's just it. How did she convince them that she would be open to this process? Because she clearly is not. It almost--almost- reminds me of early Jamie and Doug. Although Jamie, despite not being attracted to Doug or feeling chemistry, was still into the marriage and did her part to try to bring them closer. I don't see Deonna doing that yet. 

She's more like Jepthe--"you're a stranger." She hasn't said those words yet, but her actions and body language scream it. Did you notice how far apart they slept in the bed? (They woke up far apart, anyway). No morning snuggling at all. 

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

The tease showed that Iris is not going to give the farm away so easily...if you get my drift...

Keith, with his model looks, musician vibe has been a panty dropper for at least a decade.

I do like the idea of them getting to know each other as people before they do it, but Iris is acting like she's got a gold-plated punany down there. Keith will need to prove himself worthy before being allowed to enter her virgin fortress.  

And while Keith is a great guy, I'm sure he's not used to women playing hard to get with him. I wonder how this will play out. 

Edited June 27, 2019 by topanga

[Gem 10]

4 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

Well in any case since I dont know how to delete or undo this post, so mind as well post a random pic of my super sexy TeeVee wifey amanda, since sadly she didnt make it to episode 3 lol 😍❤️❤️

It’s a bitch, ain’t it?  I just leave it alone and somehow it goes away if you don’t press send.

[discoprincessthe2]

2 hours ago, ShowFan said:

Toxic dependency. Failing her as an independent adult. Sabotaging her relationship. And we don’t even know what else may be there. Of course there are worse cases ...abusers, drug addicts etc. But he is way up there too

For Elizabeth's dad to mention during the wedding toast that he was handing down the renewal of her license plates to Jamie - as if this was now Jamie's problem - was bothersome and weird. He wasn't kidding either.

[topanga]

4 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

Well in any case since I dont know how to delete or undo this post, so mind as well post a random pic of my super sexy TeeVee wifey amanda, since sadly she didnt make it to episode 3 lol 😍❤️❤️

She's beautiful, but that pale skin makes her look a bit like a vampire. Watch your neck, brotha!

[Gem 10]

4 minutes ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

Deonna is starting to remind me of Jasmine.  I am going to need her to chill. Greg strikes me as a decent guy AKA good husband material. 

She’s missing a great opportunity here as she is a wet blanket.  I feel bad for him as she is joyless.

[Kareem]

10 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Deonna is starting to remind me of Jasmine.  I am going to need her to chill. Greg strikes me as a decent guy AKA good husband material. I hope she doesn't blow it. 

Why is Keith on here?  Did he lose a bet?  He is tall, dark, handsome, seems nice and is  gainfully employed.  In other words, the full package.  Doesn't make sense. 

ITA.  Deonna and Jasmine seem to have the same affliction - I am great. I am accomplished. I have a bucket list. I call the shots.  I failed Conflict Resolution 101.  And another guy is potentially doomed to live a hard life.  

He seems to have done nothing offensive, yet she’s acting as if she has to tolerate him, and as if being civil is an effort. She mentioned “judgement” again in the bedroom; not sure why, unless that’s her rejoinder to everything.  It’s early on and I’ve already got Jasmine Jr. filed under PITA.  

Too funny about Keith losing a bet.  

[Gem 10]

8 minutes ago, topanga said:

On their first wedding night, when they were still at the local hotel and there was a knock at the door--I shouted at the TV, "If that's Elizabeth's dad, I will lose my sh*t." But no, it was the gift basket with their honeymoon itinerary. 

That's just it. How did she convince them that she would be open to this process? Because she clearly is not. It almost--almost- reminds me of early Jamie and Doug. Although Jamie, despite not being attracted to Doug or feeling chemistry, was still into the marriage and did her part to try to bring them closer. I don't see Deonna doing that yet. 

She's more like Jepthe--"you're a stranger." She hasn't said those words yet, but her actions and body language scream it. Did you notice how far apart they slept in the bed? (They woke up far apart, anyway). No morning snuggling at all. 

I do like the idea of them getting to know each other as people before they do it, but Iris is acting like she's got a gold-plated punany down there. Keith will need to prove himself worthy of entering her virgin fortress.  

And while Keith is a great guy, I'm sure he's not used to women playing hard to get with him. I wonder how this will play out. 

This is the first time being a Virgin has gone against a person.

[Gem 10]

6 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

The show stated that this is the 1st time that they are doing/trying this.

And probably the last.  Jamie looked like he was in the electric chair.  If that was my husband, he wouldn’t have been so nice about it.  The Father is a sadistic bully.  He actually had hate in his eyes.  Jamie was a gentleman.

[discoprincessthe2]

2 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

And probably the last.  Jamie looked like he was in the electric chair.  If that was my husband, he wouldn’t have been so nice about it.  The Father is a sadistic bully.  He actually had hate in his eyes.  Jamie was a gentleman.

Production probably did that on purpose figuring that Beth's dad would have provided a goldmine of footage.

AJ may have worn on some people's nerves from last season, but he may have had a point in calling out some of the nonsense perpetuated by production.

[OnTime]

The producers are really taking this show to a new level now.

The "slow motion" scenes, bachelor parties,  Elizabeth naked and blurred out, Iris telling Keith's mother....

They have turned this show into a cross between a scripted soap opera and The Bachelor (for the sleezy factor) !!

Edited June 27, 2019 by OnTime

[aphroditewitch]

The whole virgin secret thing was so stupid. The producers had Keith's mother tell him beforehand anyway. Then the producers have Iris ask that secret question while they are laying in bed. It was so poorly done. Production isn't even trying anymore. 

[Ohwell]

Elizabeth reminds me of Christina Hendricks.

45 minutes ago, topanga said:

On their first wedding night, when they were still at the local hotel and there was a knock at the door--I shouted at the TV, "If that's Elizabeth's dad, I will lose my sh*t." But no, it was the gift basket with their honeymoon itinerary. 

I thought it was Elizabeth's dad!

[Gem 10]

Iris, pull that black thing on your head over your face, and say 1, 2, 3, GO!  You might like it.

[Empress1]

Look: Elizabeth's relationship with her dad is fucking creepy. Why is she asking if her dad touched her husband's ass? Where they do that at? Jamie looked like he wanted to run and I don't blame him. There's close, and then there's that. I liked how Jamie said firmly "No I'm not" when he was asked if he was prepared to change his last name. I don't care who does what with their names, but at the very least he's setting SOME kind of boundaries.

53 minutes ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

For Elizabeth's dad to mention during the wedding toast that he was handing down the renewal of her license plates to Jamie - as if this was now Jamie's problem - was bothersome and weird. He wasn't kidding either.

No he wasn't. It bothers me when adults can't or won't do basic adult things. Elizabeth's dad has crippled her by taking care of all her shit, and I suspect Elizabeth thinks it's cute. It's not.

Deonna does seem uptight - "businesslike," to use Greg's word. "Smitten is not in the book of Deonna," like, dude, chill. I haven't seen many smiles from her. She's the sort of person - she's said as much - who wanted to be married because it was next on her list. She's not unique in that way, but she doesn't seem to have given any thought to WHY she wants to be married or what she wants her ideal marriage to look like.

Two of Matt's friends - the ones with hair* - are very cute. It's hard to get a read on Matt because I think he's just got a mellow temperament. It comes off as though Amber is more into him than he into her, but she also seems to have a more outgoing personality than he does, so it's hard to tell.

*Not that bald men can't be hot!

[Gem 10]

8 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Giving Eliz a standing O for her sexy lingerie...finally some nice bed time wear.

Jamie hit the jackpot with Big Red Chardonnay...

He is visually excitable and she is an eyeful.....

Poor cameraman when Eliz dropped trou and popped her top....

I mean really.  Do women really wear running shorts and T-shirts to bed when married?

[discoprincessthe2]

32 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Elizabeth reminds me of Christina Hendricks.

I thought it was Elizabeth's dad!

I seriously thought that Beth's dad happened to be knocking at the door too! I'm sure his ears would have been burning!

I would have like to have heard what Jamie had said if that door knock hadn't happened though.

Edited June 27, 2019 by discoprincessthe2

[Gem 10]

53 minutes ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

Production probably did that on purpose figuring that Beth's dad would have provided a goldmine of footage.

AJ may have worn on some people's nerves from last season, but he may have had a point in calling out some of the nonsense perpetuated by production.

You are right.  What’s the point in this show then if it’s fake?

[aphroditewitch]

11 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

I mean really.  Do women really wear running shorts and T-shirts to bed when married?

Some probably do. From what I've observed from married friends, women feel less inclined to dress sexy when they feel their husband isn't putting in the effort with the household upkeep and parenting. And that is fair, someone isn't going to want to dress or feel sexy when they are worn out from everything else and don't feel they have support from their spouse. 

[Ohwell]

I like that Jamie is old enough and mature enough not to be intimidated by Elizabeth's dad.  At one point he looked at the dad like "yeah I'm gonna have sex with your daughter and she'll like it and there's nothing you can do about it."  I don't have a feeling yet as to whether he'll stay in the marriage, but he won't be taking any shit from the dad. 

Iris gives me a little old lady vibe with the glasses and the way she walks around.   

[2727]

Nobody is ever going to measure up to the last person Deonna dated.

Greg was being so playful and cute with his "smitten" comments and she shot him down like a drone over foreign air space.

I really wish the producers would let me enjoy the wedding and honeymoon episodes in peace without showing upcoming scenes of arguments, tears, and walk-outs. I'd like to bask in some happy moments between the couples in ignorance of how quickly they deteriorate. It harshes my mellow!

[topanga]

2 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

I like that Jamie is old enough and mature enough not to be intimidated by Elizabeth's dad.  At one point he looked at the dad like "yeah I'm gonna have sex with your daughter and she'll like it and there's nothing you can do about it."  I don't have a feeling yet as to whether he'll stay in the marriage, but he won't be taking any shit from the dad. 

That's when I started to warm up to Jamie. When Big Red's dad was asking him all kinds of crazy questions like, "Are you going to take our last name?"* Jamie very calmly but confidently said, "Nope." He managed to remain calm and lighthearted and but made it clear to the dad that he wasn't intimidated by him. 

*I don't care if men or women choose to take their spouse's last name or not. But that should've been a discussion between Jamie and Elizabeth, not Jamie and Elizabeth's dad. 

32 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

It's hard to get a read on Matt because I think he's just got a mellow temperament. It comes off as though Amber is more into him than he into her, but she also seems to have a more outgoing personality than he does, so it's hard to tell.

Matt is definitely an introvert and hard to read at times. But he was more animated and expressive before the wedding day, which is why I think Amber is draining his energy. And maybe his enthusiasm. Or maybe he's simply tired of all the socialization, and he needs time alone to refuel. Which he will NOT have with Amber the cameras surrounding him. 

[humbleopinion]

You could see Jamie tuning out Ronnie's bullshit when it got beyond ridiculous....his whining about Jamie's lips in his baby's face.

Jamie's thought bubble as he was listening to JealousRonnie's rant...various sweaty karma sutra positions with Beth.

 I wouldn't put it past Ronnie and Drema to show up in Antigua...because they have a yacht parked there....naturally....

Edited June 27, 2019 by humbleopinion

[topanga]

6 minutes ago, 2727 said:

I really wish the producers would let me enjoy the wedding and honeymoon episodes in peace without showing upcoming scenes of arguments, tears, and walk-outs. I'd like to bask in some happy moments between the couples in ignorance of how quickly they deteriorate. It harshes my mellow!

Yeah. The previews and the recaps need to be trimmed. A full five minutes at the beginning of the episode was dedicated to, "This is what this show is about. And this is what happened. And then this happened." We know, we know. And even if we've forgotten a few details, it's not hard to catch up when we see what's happening now. I know the show has to create 1 1/2 hours of content, but Jeez. 

2 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Agreed...it marshes my mellow.....

You and your iconic phrases... you should write a book. LOL.  What does this one mean? 

[Gem 10]

4 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

Some probably do. From what I've observed from married friends, women feel less inclined to dress sexy when they feel their husband isn't putting in the effort with the household upkeep and parenting. And that is fair, someone isn't going to want to dress or feel sexy when they are worn out from everything else and don't feel they have support from their spouse. 

I get what you are saying, but I dress for myself as I like pretty nitegowns and sets.  Not that they should dress sexy on t.v., but something appropriate and cute.  They wear bikinis on the beach and what’s more scanty than that?

[Neurochick]

Elizabeth's dad reminds me of the father in "Four Friends" and if you've seen that movie you know what I'm talking about.  

I'm starting to see why Deonna was single for ten years..."smitten" isn't in her vocabulary?  I think she's friend zoned Greg.  

[humbleopinion]

13 minutes ago, 2727 said:

 It harshes my mellow!

Agreed...it marshes my mellow.....

Means.... absolute rubbish....

Edited June 27, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Elizzikra]

Quote

From what I've observed from married friends, women feel less inclined to dress sexy when they feel their husband isn't putting in the effort with the household upkeep and parenting.

I wear pajamas - usually a cotton t-shirt and lightweight cotton pajama pants. I wore this to sleep before I met my husband, while I was dating him and since we have been married.

[Neurochick]

Quote

In my humble opinion, Antigua and Barbuda are the shiniest jewels in the Caribbean crown

I think Barbuda got wiped out from Hurricane Maria. 😪

I hope Elizabeth's dad didn't pick out any of her "little numbers." EWWW.

[NannyBails]

1 minute ago, Elizzikra said:

I wear pajamas - usually a cotton t-shirt and lightweight cotton pajama pants. I wore this to sleep before I met my husband, while I was dating him and since we have been married.

I've wear t-shirts and shorts or PJ pants (depending on season) since I first got a puppy and had to run outside in the middle of the night for puppy potty breaks.    I guess, though, if I were on national tv, I might choose to wear something a bit matchy-matchy.  I probably wouldn't want to wear sexy lingerie on national tv, but that's just me.   Then again, I wouldn't get married at first sight ...

[humbleopinion]

Can see Big Red Chardonney "modeling" the sexy lingerie for Daddy for his approval of her honeymoon wardrobe pre wedding and since he was paying for them....

 And to kick it up another notch on the Creepy Factor...he will remind her to get waxed....

ewwwww

Edited June 27, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Neurochick]

I don't get why Keith and Iris are on this show.  Both of them are gorgeous; their wedding photo looked like something from a bridal magazine.  

Deonna needs to loosen up, life's too short to be that tightly wound.

BTW, Iris is a virgin, did you know that?

[Retired at last]

I am already tired of Deonna's attitude about how the word smitten is not in her vocabulary. Why not???? It's a fun word and idea. I don't give this even a tiny chance. I understand what people are saying about the Jasmine vibes.

I DID like when Jamie asked his wife what her father calls her and then quickly said that he would call her Elizabeth. Good for him. He sees the need to try to make a distinction if their relationship has a chance. Also, it is extremely creepy that she has that much open need for sex and has had those discussions with her father. I cannot imagine what he will be thinking when he sees these shows - he may have a heart attack. And I don't think they have to worry about losing their family name - Elizabeth will not have a new name for long.

Like most of you, also tired of the "virgin" element constantly in our faces. Other than that, she does seem to be comfortable being close to her husband and isn't as awkward getting in bed with him as I thought she might be. 

Amber and Matt are kind of boring to me. She is too anxious to be all over him, which is not bad, but she is pushing too hard too soon.

[aphroditewitch]

36 minutes ago, topanga said:

Matt is definitely an introvert and hard to read at times. But he was more animated and expressive before the wedding day, which is why I think Amber is draining his energy. And maybe his enthusiasm. Or maybe he's simply tired of all the socialization, and he needs time alone to refuel. Which he will NOT have with Amber the cameras surrounding him. 

He should have thought about that before signing on to the show. I get it, I'm more of an introvert but I also would never go on a reality show. Honestly I think he is drained in part because the whole thing with his family makes him look like an immature brat so far. If he feels drained by the process that is on him not Amber. 

[aphroditewitch]

Deonna is getting a raw deal. I have a feeling that she has dry humor and it is not playing as well on screen as it does in person. The show already decided they were going to make her look uptight and they are going to stick with it all season no matter what.