S09.E01: Nice To Marry You

[TwirlyGirly]

9 hours ago, Nowhere said:

<snip> Iris gets on my nerves because she thinks she’s better than everyone else because she’s a virgin. She wants her white dress to be soooooo white that her husband-to-be will say, “Wow that dress is so much whiter than all other wedding dresses so she must be a virgin and that makes her better than all other brides because JESUS.” And if he doesn’t think that immediately, she’ll be sure to tell him about the symbolism and how wonderful she is for waiting all these years to grace his penis with her pure, lily white, sparkly, platinum vagina. <snip>

I've seen this before, the whole "I'm a virgin so I have to ensure everyone knows it by choosing a whiter-than-white wedding gown" thing. It's been brought up as a criteria for choosing a gown on Say Yes to the Dress multiple times.

And it's weird.

Most brides choose white wedding gowns. Yes, there are shades of white, but I - and I'll bet the majority of members of the bridal party, the couple's families, or the wedding guests - have never noticed if the bridal gown is "pure white," and surmised from that the sexual status of the bride.

Bridal salons don't separate their stock by color; Pure White: Virgins Only. Off-white: Slutty Girls. /s

Nor do the consultants typically quiz their customers on their sexual status: "Oh, so you're a virgin? You may only select from our pure-white gowns." Or, "You've had pre-marital sex? Tsk tsk! Only off-white for you. Store policy!"

The point is, when a bride is walking down the aisle towards her beloved, there's no way for anyone present to know whether she chose the color of her gown based on her purity status, or because that particular shade is most complimentary to her coloring, because she loved the gown more than she cared about the color and the gown wasn't offered in her preferred shade, or because...she likes that color!

So, the only way for Iris (or any other bride) to ensure her fiancé (and everyone else present) knows she's a virgin is to announce that fact, or maybe by wearing a "VIRGIN" sash over her gown. 

And if she has to do that, the color of her dress doesn't matter.

It's bad enough when other people place a higher value on what a woman has done with what she has between her legs than what she holds in her heart, and what she has between her ears; but for a woman to do that to herself is unconscionable. 

Edited June 14, 2019 by TwirlyGirly

[Empress1]

43 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I don't know why but the personality vibes each of them send out don't add up to a match to me.

Amber was pretty hyper and Matt seems very, very mellow. It might have been nerves on the wedding day for her, but he overall seems like a very mellow dude. If she gets amped up when she gets nervous or excited, she might feel like he's not getting excited enough when really, he just doesn't express emotion the same way she does. I've seen that dynamic play out before. I wonder if she's an extrovert? He seems like an introvert. That can work, but it takes a real understanding of the way each person functions, which they don't have yet.

8 hours ago, ramble said:

Does that mean no dating at all, or no relationships?

I get the impression that she has not had a romantic life of any kind for ten years. No dates, no hookups, no situationships, no flings, nothing. If she had had no committed relationship for ten years but she'd been going on dates, hooking up, being involved with people but not being "official" with them, etc. that would be one thing, but I really get the sense that she just shut that part of her life off altogether. The way she talks about how she put up walls makes me think that. She also tries to spin it as though she was too busy dating herself to date other people, but it sounds to me like she had a pretty standard life. She went to college, worked, got a master's, traveled ... all good things, but it's not like she was SO busy that she couldn't eke out time for a date now and then. If what happened in her high school relationship was so hard for her to get over that she'd completely shut herself off like that, I think she needs a therapist, not a husband. You saw Greg's "zoinks!" face when she told him.

Edited June 14, 2019 by Empress1

[qtpye]

18 minutes ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I've seen this before, the whole "I'm a virgin so I have to ensure everyone knows it by choosing a whiter-than-white wedding gown" thing. It's been brought up as a criteria for choosing a gown on Say Yes to the Dress multiple times.

And it's weird.

Most brides choose white wedding gowns. Yes, there are shades of white, but I - and I'll bet the majority of members of the bridal party, the couple's families, or the wedding guests - have never noticed if the bridal gown is "pure white," and surmised from that the sexual status of the bride.

Bridal salons don't separate their stock by color; Pure White: Virgins Only. Off-white: Slutty Girls. /s

Nor do the consultants typically quiz their customers on their sexual status: "Oh, so you're a virgin? You may only select from our pure-white gowns." Or, "You've had pre-marital sex? Tsk tsk! Only off-white for you. Store policy!"

The point is, when a bride is walking down the aisle towards her beloved, there's no way for anyone present to know whether she chose the color of her gown based on her purity status, or because that particular shade is most complimentary to her coloring, because she loved the gown more than she cared about the color and the gown wasn't offered in her preferred shade, or because...she likes that color!

So, the only way for Iris (or any other bride) to ensure her fiancé (and everyone else present) knows she's a virgin is to announce that fact, or maybe by wearing a "VIRGIN" sash over her gown. 

And if she has to do that, the color of her dress doesn't matter.

It's bad enough when other people place a higher value on what a woman has done with what she has between her legs than what she holds in her heart, and what she has between her ears; but for a woman to do that to herself is unconscionable. 

Your post cracked me up. It makes me think that there is a special rack of red bridal dresses that is the “dirty whore” section. Even more amusing because part of my family comes from a culture where red is the go to marriage color for new brides.

17 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Amber was pretty hyper and Matt seems very, very mellow. It might have been nerves on the wedding day for her, but he overall seems like a very mellow dude. If she gets amped up when she gets nervous or excited, she might feel like he's not getting excited enough when really, he just doesn't express emotion the same way she does. I've seen that dynamic play out before. I wonder if she's an extrovert? He seems like an introvert. That can work, but it takes a real understanding of the way each person functions, which they don't have yet.

I get the impression that she has not had a romantic life of any kind for ten years. No dates, no hookups, no situationships, no flings, nothing. If she had had no committed relationship for ten years but she'd been going on dates, hooking up, being involved with people but not being "official" with them, etc. that would be one thing, but I really get the sense that she just shut that part of her life off altogether. The way she talks about how she put up walls makes me think that. She also tries to spin it as though she was too busy dating herself to date other people, but it sounds to me like she had a pretty standard life. She went to college, worked, got a master's, traveled ... all good things, but it's not like she was SO busy that she couldn't eke out time for a date now and then. If what happened in her high school relationship was so hard for her to get over that she'd completely shut herself off like that, I think she needs a therapist, not a husband. You saw Greg's "zoinks!" face when she told him.

I got that impression as well, particularly after her sister talked about how weird it was going to be to actually see her with anybody. I applaud her for accomplishing all she did by her age but it is a little off for an attractive young woman to not even go on a date for 10 years. That high school boyfriend must of really did a number on her.

[aphroditewitch]

25 minutes ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I've seen this before, the whole "I'm a virgin so I have to ensure everyone knows it by choosing a whiter-than-white wedding gown" thing. It's been brought up as a criteria for choosing a gown on Say Yes to the Dress multiple times.

And it's weird.

Most brides choose white wedding gowns. Yes, there are shades of white, but I - and I'll bet the majority of members of the bridal party, the couple's families, or the wedding guests - have never noticed if the bridal gown is "pure white," and surmised from that the sexual status of the bride.

Bridal salons don't separate their stock by color; Pure White: Virgins Only. Off-white: Slutty Girls. /s

Nor do the consultants typically quiz their customers on their sexual status: "Oh, so you're a virgin? You may only select from our pure-white gowns." Or, "You've had pre-marital sex? Tsk tsk! Only off-white for you. Store policy!"

The point is, when a bride is walking down the aisle towards her beloved, there's no way for anyone present to know whether she chose the color of her gown based on her purity status, or because that particular shade is most complimentary to her coloring, because she loved the gown more than she cared about the color and the gown wasn't offered in her preferred shade, or because...she likes that color!

So, the only way for Iris (or any other bride) to ensure her fiancé (and everyone else present) knows she's a virgin is to announce that fact, or maybe by wearing a "VIRGIN" sash over her gown. 

And if she has to do that, the color of her dress doesn't matter.

It's bad enough when other people place a higher value on what a woman has done with what she has between her legs than what she holds in her heart, and what she has between her ears; but for a woman to do that to herself is unconscionable. 

It is part of that culture. Kind of like several pop stars and their families in the early 2000s who had to constantly make sure everyone knew they were a virgin. I think of it as Jessica Simpson Syndrome. It would not surprise me if Iris has a purity ring.

People like Iris build up losing their virginity so much that they set themselves up for disappointment. And frankly in the end it can't have been that important since she chose to be on this show. 

[meligator]

My MIL was pregnant when we she was married long, long, long ago - she wasn't allowed to wear any shade of white and only got to choose between blue dresses.  My mother - pregnant with me at the time was married in a a white white dress only a few months before.

[CousinOliver]

I’m surprised “Miss I’m a Pure, Pure, Super-Duper Pure Virgin” didn’t go for a full veil with blusher.   

Cause she’s a Virgin, dontcha know.  

[lh25]

1 hour ago, TwirlyGirly said:

Most brides choose white wedding gowns. Yes, there are shades of white, but I - and I'll bet the majority of members of the bridal party, the couple's families, or the wedding guests - have never noticed if the bridal gown is "pure white," and surmised from that the sexual status of the bride.

I  married a man from a pretty conservative family.  I was 29, he was 30, and neither of us was "pure".  I choose an off-white gown because the color looked better on me the pure white.  My MIL told me later that some of his family did notice, and were shocked that clearly I wasn't a virgin.     

[lh25]

On 6/13/2019 at 4:26 AM, Empress1 said:

Elizabeth made a bad first impression on Amber. Amber was like "We're all in white and she's in red ... she's making a statement. [beat] It's fine." Shade!

I'm probably not going to be a fan of Elizabeth, but it seemed to me the other three all wearing white were making statements as well.

[Madding crowd]

10 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I would think sex would be difficult too...just saying!

I’m 5’6 and my husband is 6’7.  No problems in that area lol

[Crazy Bird Lady]

On 6/12/2019 at 8:47 PM, Suzy Rhapsody said:

It’s very clear that Elizabeth has been built up by her parents her entire life.  She has quite the high opinion of herself.  *annoyance level mounting*

She did give kind of the same 1st impression as "Queen Christine" (who I liked, later on).

However, as a 'ginger' Elizabeth would have grown up "different". And as most of us know, when you're 'different' you have to find that self-confidence within yourself (and from your family), because you may be teased and/or ostracized by many others.

[gonecrackers]

Iris comically thought the whiter the gown the more obvious her purity would be to her groom, neglecting to realize most brides seem to wear white. She would need a lighted, blinking sign over her head with an arrow pointing down saying "VIRGIN - KEPT PURE FOR YOU" during her walk for him to have any clue. I'm reasonably sure the last thing he's expecting this show to match him with, is a virgin. 

Iris' viginity is the new Sheila no-orgasm thing. I'm not seeing her so much prideful of her status but rather attention seeking with it, of which the show is in cohoots. She probably marked it on her application & they picked up on her willingness to make it a full blown story line, so signed her up.  It remains to be seen how this will go down between them, but it's plausible the show will milk it through the season & end with either a pop or a big let down.

[aphroditewitch]

I wonder if Dr. Pepper is going to sit Iris and Charlotte Keith down for a safe sex talk the way she felt the need to do with Kristine and Philly Keith. 

[Ohwell]

21 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I'm reasonably sure the last thing he's expecting this show to match him with, is a virgin. 

I think it's unfair to match any person with a partner who's a virgin.  Not that being a virgin is a red flag or a bad thing, but I do think it's a special circumstance that the other person should get a heads up about to determine whether or not it's a deal breaker. 

[gonecrackers]

7 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

I think it's unfair to match any person with a partner who's a virgin.  Not that being a virgin is a red flag or a bad thing, but I do think it's a special circumstance that the other person should get a heads up about to determine whether or not it's a deal breaker. 

Yes. I also wonder how much Iris' virginity really means to her if she's willing to have TV personalities match her with "the one" - unless, as I mentioned, this is going to be a drag out story line for the season & go nowhere. If this match is just for a story line that's bad enough, but I hope Keith is at least in on it.  

[WahooLAH99]

Quote

I would think sex would be difficult too...just saying!

It will be fine. My boyfriend is over a foot taller than me, does not matter. Tallest is mostly in the legs. When you are in a bed, your upper bodies are the same, your legs don't matter.

[Empress1]

I dated a guy 10 inches taller than I am (I'm 5'8", he was 6'6") and there was no issue. I love tall men so Matt looks good to me!

20 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Yes. I also wonder how much Iris' virginity really means to her if she's willing to have TV personalities match her with "the one" - unless, as I mentioned, this is going to be a drag out story line for the season & go nowhere. If this match is just for a story line that's bad enough, but I hope Keith is at least in on it.  

Part of me wonders if she just wanted to go ahead and have sex and her virginity was freaking men out, so she figured, hey, I'll get married and it'll be OK to do it.

[gonecrackers]

Elizabeth is an obvious, but I might be in the minority in feeling Amber is a bit annoying as well. I'll see if she gets more tolerable once she calms down.

[Lily247]

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

And I'm not even talking about the height difference, although I'm 5'2" and I would NOT want a husband that much taller than me, thankyouverymuch. 

Im tall and I would not want a husband who is 6'9". It might be cute for a day but I wouldnt want to be married to a Redwood tree. However, I have heard of giant basketball players preferring to marry short women so that their kids would hopefully grow to be somewhere in the middle. 

[Lily247]

4 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Part of me wonders if she just wanted to go ahead and have sex and her virginity was freaking men out, so she figured, hey, I'll get married and it'll be OK to do it.

She keeps bringing up her virginity loud and clear, as if its like a selling point. I think she would be more successful in relationships if she didn't make such a huge deal out of it. Part of me thinks she is a paid actor. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Greg has good reason to raise his eyebrows, Deonna, to be single from 20-30 years old is not usual.

I was -actually for a lot longer than that. It doesn't mean that I didn't go on dates but none of them ever really turned into a relationship. I always preferred to be single than to be in a relationship that wasn't right. I know a lot of people in similar situations -I don't think it's that unusual.

[Neurochick]

4 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

Most brides choose white wedding gowns. Yes, there are shades of white, but I - and I'll bet the majority of members of the bridal party, the couple's families, or the wedding guests - have never noticed if the bridal gown is "pure white," and surmised from that the sexual status of the bride.

When Sarah Ferguson married Prince Andrew, people wondered what color her gown would be; she'd lived with a man, she wasn't a virgin.  Some thought her gown would be peach or even scarlet.  She wore a plain ivory gown with a long ass train.  But I remember the whole silly foolishness of, "what color gown will she wear?"  

When Deonna said she hadn't been in a relationship for 10 years, that doesn't mean she didn't go out on dates.  Maybe to her "relationship" means something serious, like thinking of marriage serious.  I didn't think it was strange at all.  In fact, I am very confused.   I've read posts where people say, "she JUST got out of a relationship, she shouldn't be on the show" so this is "she shouldn't be on the show because she hasn't been in enough relationships."  Okay.

[lu1535]

Dr. Pepper kept saying that Matt dated a much shorter girl for a year so the match with Amber should work out fine, but did anyone ask what broke them up? Maybe he broke it off because he was tired of bending.

How will Iris feel when/if she lets Keith "deflower" her and they break up after the "experiment"? How awful to save yourself for marriage only to come out on the other side "unsaved".

Sorry, these shows bring out the faux quotes in me.

[aphroditewitch]

Did the show ask Amber if she dated a significantly taller man in the past? I could see having to get on tiptoes getting old for her too. 

[red12]

17 hours ago, Real Housewife LI said:

The boobs were not looking good in that dress.

Fit is generally a problem on this show because of the lack of time to order a dress and do proper alterations. Many of the brides seem to also need more guidance regarding dress style as well. 

Edited June 14, 2019 by red12

[ChristmasJones]

Years ago I dated a guy who was 6'6" tall. I am 5'4".   Like others have said, in bed, it was not an issue. But I do remember that while walking around and talking, I did get tired of having to look up at  him; it bothered my neck to look up that high, particularly when standing right next to him.  I remember when we were out, I would often seek out some stairs or a small curb or ledge to stand on to kiss him.  His height had nothing to do with why we broke up, though. Maybe I would have just gotten used to it if we stayed together, but after that, I realized that having a shorter guy had some benefits.

[red12]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

When Sarah Ferguson married Prince Andrew, people wondered what color her gown would be; she'd lived with a man, she wasn't a virgin.  Some thought her gown would be peach or even scarlet.  She wore a plain ivory gown with a long ass train.  But I remember the whole silly foolishness of, "what color gown will she wear?"  

When Deonna said she hadn't been in a relationship for 10 years, that doesn't mean she didn't go out on dates.  Maybe to her "relationship" means something serious, like thinking of marriage serious.  I didn't think it was strange at all.  In fact, I am very confused.   I've read posts where people say, "she JUST got out of a relationship, she shouldn't be on the show" so this is "she shouldn't be on the show because she hasn't been in enough relationships."  Okay.

I have yet to hear a groom or any other man who is not a stylist comment on the pure whiteness of a wedding gown. 

I also have misgivings about them matching Iris with Keith when she expressed her desire for a Christian (church going) man. His family is full of pastors  so, maybe that's enough. In many cases though, being a PK can make a person more likely to avoid church as an adult.

Leading with "I'm a virgin" as one's defining identity characteristic is a red flag for me. I grew up with a lot of women who completely lost track of how to establish an adult identity because they previously leaned so heavily on the virgin, good girl persona. When you combine that with limited relationship experience, it sets a woman up for quite the letdown on the honeymoon and beyond. Many religious orgs prep girls for virginity and chastity but, then don't realize how hard it will be to turn that switch off once sexual relations are approved. 

Lastly, what is up with Iris's daddy? Lawd! He acts like the marriage will not be filmed and broadcast on national tv. It's not like she is marrying a stranger and launching into space for a 2 man Mars expedition.

Edited June 14, 2019 by red12

[Lily247]

3 hours ago, WahooLAH99 said:

It will be fine. My boyfriend is over a foot taller than me, does not matter. Tallest is mostly in the legs. When you are in a bed, your upper bodies are the same, your legs don't matter.

Like my dad says about tall vs short women ... "They're all the same in bed." But thankfully he is not like Red heads dad. 

[Jeanne222]

9 hours ago, lu1535 said:

 

They do look like brother and sister to me. Ewwwwwwww....................

In A lot of couples their partners have similiar looks.   He just might like Elizabeth but pay no attention to me because I thought Kate was crying alligator tears all last season! 

[Haute Messe]

15 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Amber's obvious attraction to Matt at the reception looked like it was getting steamy....

Amber is lucky school is out for the summer and she doesn't have to face classrooms of 8th graders the morning after the episodes air.... 

I actually thought she was acting like she was one herself! I can see nerves being an issues, but also see some red flags here. Didn't her sister say something about the guy in her previous relationship being a total leech - and she put up with that? She comes off as really desperate and clingy, and I imagine that would get tiring.

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

When I squint hard enough the two of them remind me of Kathy Griffin and a balding Jerry Seinfeld.  And wouldn't THAT be a match made in hell, lol?

I thought of Kathy Griffin as well! Never thought of the Jerry Seinfeld resemblance, but that is spot on.

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I don't know why but she reminds me of a very young 80s Whitney Houston, down to the way she puts her hair up.  She is strikingly attractive. 

She also reminds me a bit of Ashley from RH of Potomac.

6 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I've seen this before, the whole "I'm a virgin so I have to ensure everyone knows it by choosing a whiter-than-white wedding gown" thing. It's been brought up as a criteria for choosing a gown on Say Yes to the Dress multiple times. And it's weird.

Bridal salons don't separate their stock by color; Pure White: Virgins Only. Off-white: Slutty Girls. /s

Nor do the consultants typically quiz their customers on their sexual status: "Oh, so you're a virgin? You may only select from our pure-white gowns." Or, "You've had pre-marital sex? Tsk tsk! Only off-white for you. Store policy!"

So, the only way for Iris (or any other bride) to ensure her fiancé (and everyone else present) knows she's a virgin is to announce that fact, or maybe by wearing a "VIRGIN" sash over her gown.  

And if she has to do that, the color of her dress doesn't matter.

What really surprised me was the dress she chose because it was "virginal white" was also strapless and plunging in the cleavage area. I would have thought a virgin would have gone with something a little less revealing... I actually liked Amber's dress the best. Elizabeth's was tragically ill-fitting. But Mr Picky seems to like boobs, so that might work in her favour since they were almost popping out of the dress.

[Ohwell]

Amber appears to me as being kind of hyper, and Matt is kinda chill, so I'm wondering how they'll match up.

I'm also getting the same vibe from Iris and Keith, with Iris appearing to be kind of flighty.  Or something.  I think she will get on Keith's nerves.

Elizabeth is full of herself and thinks she's the life of the party and I don't know if Mr. Picky can take her "liveliness."  Also I don't know if she can handle his pickiness.

I know it's early in "the process" but from what I've seen so far I don't have hopes for any of these couples making it to the end.  I guess the couple most likely to make it is Deonna and Greg because they're both religious and it would be embarrassing for them to split up on national tv.  

[ChiMama]

On 6/12/2019 at 10:11 PM, Empress1 said:

I think Deonna is going to be more of an issue than Iris. Deonna has basically no relationship experience, and we don't know that about Iris - we just know she's a virgin. And I don't get the sense that Deonna DID do much work on herself because she talks about that failed HIGH SCHOOL relationship like it just ended, when it's been ten years.

Amber was a little hyper but so far she and Matt seem like they like each other. She's clearly very attracted to him. They'll have sex first, I'm sure.

Granted, haven't read all comments yet, but I'm shocked someone wasn't first out of the gate with Iris' WEIRD pronunication of 'penis' -- she said it like pen is, as in the pen is on the desk. And used it as in, "Yes, I'm a virgin. By that I mean no pen is has been inserted into me." Ew.

Elizabeth. Ugh. I concur with other opinions. Fake and annoying and not in this for the 'right reasons.' Too daddy-oriented (a la the Elizabeth on 90 Day Fiancee: Happily Ever After).

I don't think Amber is too annoying (yet). I think her over-the-topness might have been due to nerves (and overserving of champagne)? It seems like she's been in a dry spell and is anxious to jump Matt's bones. He seems like a good guy -- they could be a good couple. That height difference though -- WOW.

Deonna and Greg are cute. I damn near teared up during their vows. The whole "I spent 10 years dating myself" spin is super-twee though -- I'm betting the producers made her say that claptrap. Her explanation to Greg re: finishing school (two degrees), traveling, buying a home, during her decade of no-relationshipness was MUCH more palatable and it seemed to relax him a bit too. I hope she doesn't have walls (TM The Bachelorette) up that prevent her from relaxing enough to trust and allow Keith to have a full emotional partnership with her.

Iris, Iris, Iris. Cute as a button, but I hope we're not treated to the 'drama' of her losing her virginity (or not) all season. Keith seems nice, but I think her 'status' might freak him out a bit. Hopefully they'll work it out and enjoy themselves. He reminds me a bit of that Trey guy from a few seasons back though (a dud, despite his good looks) -- hope that's an erroneous impression.

Edited June 14, 2019 by ChiMama

[ChiMama]

22 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I look forward to our future and becoming each other's best friends, sharing new adventures, and growing in love".

No promises Those weren't vows. 

I kinda sorta see this part as a 'promise'

[lids]

All I remember about Elizabeth’s requirements for a hubby was that he be extremely attractive and metrosexual so they could go to get pedicures together (gag). Why, oh why did they pick Jaime? I notice that the experts tend to discount the woman’s requirements and focus on what the men will think. This doesn’t work well. From the preview, Elizabeth does not look pleased with her future spouse. She’s annoying when she’s happy. What’s she going to be like when she’s dissatisfied?

I’m also worried for Amber. She is giving off desperate vibes and Matt and his friends seems to be picking up on it per the preview. I still remember when Jessica and Rage Ryan from like Season 2 got married and Ryan made some claim that he wouldn’t respect Jessica because she made it clear she would sleep with him on the first night (even though they were married). I hope Matt and his friends don’t have the same douchebag standards. But I don’t know, he’s a d-list athlete. She’s his wife; she shouldn’t be acting like a groupie.

10 hours ago, Ohwell said:

I think it's unfair to match any person with a partner who's a virgin.  Not that being a virgin is a red flag or a bad thing, but I do think it's a special circumstance that the other person should get a heads up about to determine whether or not it's a deal breaker. 

I don’t think it matters. One generation ago, it was the standard to be a virgin when you got married. The marriages weren’t any worst because of it. Also, I think if they told these fame seekers they couldn’t match them because their match didn’t want a virgin, the virgin would just go have sex and reapply. All it takes is one sexual experience to leave the v-club and these singles’ first love is teeee-veeee.

Edited June 15, 2019 by lids

[retired watcher]

On 6/13/2019 at 6:01 AM, humbleopinion said:

They have eyes for each other with no mention of their difference in  height....which is Captain Obvious...duh...

Get early Bobby(Amber) and Danielle(Matt) vibes from them...mazel tov!

My daughter is 5' and her husband is 6'6". They never had a problem.

[qtpye]

3 hours ago, red12 said:

I have yet to hear a groom or any other man who is not a stylist comment on the pure whiteness of a wedding gown. 

I also have misgivings about them matching Iris with Keith when she expressed her desire for a Christian (church going) man. His family is full of pastors  so, maybe that's enough. In many cases though, being a PK can make a person more likely to avoid church as an adult.

Leading with "I'm a virgin" as one's defining identity characteristic is a red flag for me. I grew up with a lot of women who completely lost track of how to establish an adult identity because they previously leaned so heavily on the virgin, good girl persona. When you combine that with limited relationship experience, it sets a woman up for quite the letdown on the honeymoon and beyond. Many religious orgs prep girls for virginity and chastity but, then don't realize how hard it will be to turn that switch off once sexual relations are approved. 

Lastly, what is up with Iris's daddy? Lawd! He acts like the marriage will not be filmed and broadcast on national tv. It's not like she is marrying a stranger and launching into space for a 2 man Mars expedition.

I have seen in some cultures in which there is a virgin/whore complex, the men often have very messed up attitudes towards women. Ironically, these men often have mistresses because the mother of their children must be wholesome and chaste (boring in bed, only has sex to breed) and their mistresses are the ones who bring fun and passion to their lives.

12 hours ago, lu1535 said:

 

They do look like brother and sister to me. Ewwwwwwww....................

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

When I squint hard enough the two of them remind me of Kathy Griffin and a balding Jerry Seinfeld.  And wouldn't THAT be a match made in hell, lol?

Great observation. Crazily, the real Kathy and Jerry did not get along, to the point of him actually making it a plot point in one of the episodes of his show.

Edited June 14, 2019 by qtpye

[Ohwell]

56 minutes ago, lids said:

 Also, I think if they told these fame seekers they couldn’t match them because they’re match didn’t want a virgin, the virgin would just go have sex and reapply. All it takes is one sexual experience to leave the v-club and these singles’ first love is teeee-veeee.

Heh, actually I wouldn't have a problem with the fame seeker becoming de-virginized and reapplying to the show.  My point was that the other person should know if a potential partner is a virgin so that person could decide whether or not to participate in this mess show.   

[Elizzikra]

Quote

What really surprised me was the dress she chose because it was "virginal white" was also strapless and plunging in the cleavage area. I would have thought a virgin would have gone with something a little less revealing...

I was surprised by that too though I liked the dress and thought it was pretty on her. She did add straps. I had a friend in high school whose parents were conservative and wouldn't allow her to wear strapless dresses, though she could purchase one and her mother would sew straps on it. I guess for some reason, two pieces of fabric narrower than shoelaces protected her purity or something...

Quote

it is a little off for an attractive young woman to not even go on a date for 10 years. 

Did Deonna say that she hadn't been on a date in ten years? I know she said she hadn't been in a relationship for that long, but unless she specifically said she hadn't been on a date, I wouldn't assume that. I went on a whole lot of first dates before I met my husband and some second dates, but went a solid ten years between "relationships."

[nutella fitzgerald]

20 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Amber is lucky school is out for the summer and she doesn't have to face classrooms of 8th graders the morning after the episodes air....

I was thinking Amber was lucky to have a job Thursday morning! The teachers I know still keep sanitized Facebook profiles.

9 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Iris comically thought the whiter the gown the more obvious her purity would be to her groom, neglecting to realize most brides seem to wear white. She would need a lighted, blinking sign over her head with an arrow pointing down saying "VIRGIN - KEPT PURE FOR YOU" during her walk for him to have any clue. I'm reasonably sure the last thing he's expecting this show to match him with, is a virgin. 

Why did this bring to mind the "this toilet has been sanitized" bands that housekeeping puts in hotel bathrooms?

[Neurochick]

I wonder if anybody is really ready for marriage.  It seems that every season, we all see the red flags.  

This one has a "creepy" relationship with her dad/This one has no relationship with his parents/This one's a virgin/This one hasn't been in a relationship in 10 years/This one just got out of a relationship/This one is too religious/This one looks like a player.

People aren't perfect; everybody has flaws; everybody has "red flags" depending on who's looking.

Edited June 15, 2019 by Neurochick

[Ohwell]

....

Edited June 15, 2019 by Ohwell

[Lily247]

58 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I wonder if anybody is really ready for marriage.  It seems that every season, we all see the red flags.  

This one has a "creepy" relationship with her dad/This one has no relationship with his parents/This one's a virgin/This one hasn't been in a relationship in 10 years/This one just got out of a relationship/This one is too religious/This one looks like a player.

People aren't perfect; everybody has flaws; everybody has "red flags" depending on who's looking.

The only couple that I 100% believe will not last 6 weeks is Elizabeth and Mr Picky. Reasons being, she seems to lack any kind of class and I don't think either will find the other attractive. But you never know. 

The whole "Amber should not have been matched with Matt because family is important to her and he is distant from his parents" is BS. 80% of the participants claim that they are super family oriented. Its just something you say. And also -  she needs to calm down before she scares him away. 

[humbleopinion]

Megan's revealing what a doormat Amber was with her last bf was eyebrow raising....

Amber would give the dirtbag her paycheck...WTF?

Megan, do your due diligence and help your sister find out if Matt is a good guy for her.

Dr. Sigmund Freud noticed that Iris said peniz.

Get ready for the landmine of psychological weirdness Keith will have to defuse before he gets to sexy time or will  Iris will jump his bones, tearing off his pants as soon as the door clicks shut on their honeymoon bedroom...

We have the whole season to wonder about Eliz's basket of insecurities and over inflated sense of self...

Jamie....hope you don't turn out to be a cruel bastard like Dave....fragile women and  egotistical men make bad teevee.

[doyouevengohere]

Greg is super sweet; when he teared up and all his guys were like, "just let it out/you're okay"  I almost cried myself.  I can see Mrs. single for 10 years being defensive about everything.  I think he would have been a good match for Iris.

Iris is gorgeous!  She looks like a model.  She was over the top about being a virgin; hopefully it was b/c production made her play it up.  Her groom seems to have been raised with the same values she has, so hopefully they make it work.

Amber , amber.......at first I thought she was cute as a button.  But she kinda got obnoxious for me.  Lot's of chemistry between her and Matt.  You would think he had a sibling or cousin he wanted to invite even if he didn't want his parents there.

Elizabeth has a high opinion of herself.  At some angles she is really pretty but at others..... I was like is this even the same person????? Are we sure she's not a virgin and has been single for 10 years b/c I don't see anyone putting up with that for any amount of time.  Mr. Nitpit seems gross.

As for wedding gowns; most are white/ most brides chose white regardless of their virginal status.  There are some subcultures where this is a HUGE thing.  Me, raised in the Bible belt- religious town.......talking/dream planning with girlfriends about our future weddings and I said I loved a blush dress......audible gasps and "but think of what white means" and they were dead serious...... we were all about 19 .  I was like um wedding dresses used to be blue and it's only because of queen victoria that we now commonly wear white.

Edited June 15, 2019 by doyouevengohere

[humbleopinion]

Raise your hand if you think Red has been married before or at least engaged a couple of times...let's not be fooled...

No ONE will love her as much as Daddy...

 Daddy is her best friend and he hers...

She works for Daddy.

She has wedged herself between her father and mother.

Mother can't wait to off load her onto Jamie...

[TwirlyGirly]

14 hours ago, ChiMama said:

I kinda sorta see this part as a 'promise'

IMO, those are Deonna's hopes for the future of their relationship, not promises:

"Becoming each other's best friends"

"Sharing new adventures"

"Growing in love".

IOW, what is Deonna going to do to achieve those outcomes, if anything? That's where promises come in:

"I will (always listen to you, be supportive of your hopes and dreams, and be willing to compromise when we disagree) so we will become each other's best friends."

"I will (plan fun and exciting things for us to do as a couple) so we will share new adventures."

"I will (be kind to you and always try to give you the benefit of the doubt) so we will grow in love."

Those are promises.

When the officiant says the bride and groom have written their own vows, and then either one or neither of them makes any promises (vows) to the other, I suspect they haven't given much thought to the amount of work and number of sacrifices a successful marriage requires.

The traditional vows do include promises; to stay with your partner whether they're healthy or become ill/disabled, whether you have money or not, when things are going well in your lives or you're going through bad times - and the promise not to cheat.

It's not a requirement for couples to make promises (say vows) in the context of a wedding ceremony. Marriage "vows" are traditional according to Western Christian marriage norms specifically. Eastern Christians, and many other religions, do not include marriage vows in their traditional wedding ceremonies.

So, if a couple doesn't want to say vows (make promises) to their partner as part of their wedding ceremony, that's fine. If that's the case, and the bride and groom do include speaking to each other in their ceremony, don't call it "vows".

Instead, the officiant should say "The bride and groom would now like to say a few words to each other".

Edited June 15, 2019 by TwirlyGirly
Extreme formatting issues; everything written was bolded and had strikethrough when posted!

[qtpye]

5 hours ago, doyouevengohere said:

Greg is super sweet; when he teared up and all his guys were like, "just let it out/you're okay"  I almost cried myself.  I can see Mrs. single for 10 years being defensive about everything.  I think he would have been a good match for Iris.

Iris is gorgeous!  She looks like a model.  She was over the top about being a virgin; hopefully it was b/c production made her play it up.  Her groom seems to have been raised with the same values she has, so hopefully they make it work.

Amber , amber.......at first I thought she was cute as a button.  But she kinda got obnoxious for me.  Lot's of chemistry between her and Matt.  You would think he had a sibling or cousin he wanted to invite even if he didn't want his parents there.

Elizabeth has a high opinion of herself.  At some angles she is really pretty but at others..... I was like is this even the same person????? Are we sure she's not a virgin and has been single for 10 years b/c I don't see anyone putting up with that for any amount of time.  Mr. Nitpit seems gross.

As for wedding gowns; most are white/ most brides chose white regardless of their virginal status.  There are some subcultures where this is a HUGE thing.  Me, raised in the Bible belt- religious town.......talking/dream planning with girlfriends about our future weddings and I said I loved a blush dress......audible gasps and "but think of what white means" and they were dead serious...... we were all about 19 .  I was like um wedding dresses used to be blue and it's only because of queen victoria that we now commonly wear white.

In my senior year of college I was taking the highest level of courses  for my major and was often with the same people. I was also raised in the Deep South and wanted to go to graduate school. I was the only woman in my classes that was not engaged and some of the other ladies expressed concerns that I was still single at 20. By the way, I graduated from college in the early aughts not in 1950.

Edited June 15, 2019 by qtpye

[LilaFowler]

Greg's reaction to Deonna's confession that she hadn't been in a relationship for 10 years was very interesting. His eyes and body language were telling. Was this her hook for getting cast on the show or something? I wouldn't phrase the decade drought as such. I would simply say that I've been busy the last few years obtaining my Master's, traveling, working, etc. You don't need to tell everyone everything. First impressions are important and I wonder about Greg's impression of her after that. We shall see.

I could see Amber and Matt opting the stay married at the end of the show, but I don't see any of these couples lasting in the long run.

[Gem 10]

Wow .. didn’t even know this show was on again until my friend told me.  Happy Blondie is not back.  Maybe she married Jon?

Love, love all these couples.  They are intelligent and seem nice for each other,and all the rest.  Looks like they picked good ones, but we shall see.  The one 30 year old birthday girl looks like a little trouble, already.

[red12]

17 hours ago, qtpye said:

I have seen in some cultures in which there is a virgin/whore complex, the men often have very messed up attitudes towards women. Ironically, these men often have mistresses because the mother of their children must be wholesome and chaste (boring in bed, only has sex to breed) and their mistresses are the ones who bring fun and passion to their lives.

Great observation. Crazily, the real Kathy and Jerry did not get along, to the point of him actually making it a plot point in one of the episodes of his show.

I am so glad I am not the only one who thought he is her fraternal twin with no hair. My husband tried to shame me as "mean" for these powers of stating FACTS. I thank you, Qtype.

[Starlight925]

I thought of Jerry Seinfeld immediately too.  And once I saw it, I couldn't unsee it.

But I didn't see Kathy Griffin until it was mentioned on this board (by Yeah No, I believe)!  

Elizabeth's (aka KG) personality will get real old, real fast.  It annoyed me just watching her.  Ugh.  What 30 year-old woman holds hands with daddy on the couch?  I mean, I absolutely adore my dad and think he's the best man in the world (100%), but that's a line we just do not cross.

Edited June 15, 2019 by Sterling