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OnceSane

S11.E15: Life is Not a Cabaret

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With Sonja, it's not so much that she got sloppy drunk two nights in a row.  For me, it's that the second night (sans paramedics), she intended to rein herself in and not get sloppy drunk. But she couldn't manage that.  It's a bit concerning that she can't keep her own intention.

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55 minutes ago, Keywestclubkid said:

She’s talking about having children while having cocktails on their first “hangout”? Run for the hills man. Tinsley girl no 

She doesn’t know how to converse with a man.  She acts like a child.

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5 minutes ago, pieinmyeye said:

No, you shouldn’t expect anyone who has helped you to constantly express eternal gratitude, but a thank you and an occasional call to see how they’re doing is not only appreciated, but is what friends do.

That's true, but if they don't do it, you certainly don't lose your cookies like BetheME.  

There's a saying in AA that "resentment is the number one offender."  I mean BetheME probably did have a legitimate beef with Luann, but BetheME was yelling, screaming, standing up, acting like a fucking nutcase.  People in the restaurant were looking at her like, "WTF is wrong with this chick?"  Meanwhile Luann sat there, cool as a cucumber, while BetheME looked like she needed to be put in a strait jacket.

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I think that Luann thrives on attention, and AA meetings are just another means to an end for her with that attention seeking.

True, but how is Luann any different from the other women?  They're all attention seekers.  If they're calm and quiet, they'll be considered "boring" and get kicked off the show.

Edited by Neurochick
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Girly friends, I don't blame Luanne for not wanting to hang with any of these ladies. These are not ladies to hang with when you aren't drinking. 

I'm was raised to believe that people don't owe people. Like, if I help out a friend, it's not right to expect payback. My mom always tells me, and she's in her 80s, that my I don't owe my husband anything. She doesn't want me to get hurt or taken advantage of.  If you want to help friends and expect a return, then be a a lawyer says my dad, cuz you will have to sue, and suing is expensive. That's what my dad always says. But my dad is a sweetie, and he always helps people out when he can and he never expects anything in return. I think that's a healthy way to approach friends and helping them.

Or you can circle around them, so EVERYONE in the group, and ALL the cameras can hear how you saved this person and they didn't appreciate it. It's just so ignorant. I couldn't even watch I was so grossed out by how disgusting and low B has gotten. No wonder no man wants anything to do with her. 

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7 minutes ago, BloggerAloud said:

It's been mentioned before but Luann may not be particularly witty or clever. Her greatest strength is her ability to remain calm in the face of screaming at her.

And that is the thing that drives Bethenny crazy the most.

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15 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

Holy Cow!  What did I just watch?  On one hand, I can understand the ladies frustration with LuAnn, but on the other hand, I think they went a little nuts with the pile-on.  She didn't deserve that!  I didn't find her 2 hour break from them all that egregious.  YMMV. 

I didn’t think her taking a break was a big deal. I’d certainly need some with that group. I believe if she had told them that feelings wouldn’t have been so raw later.

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2 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

Are you serious?  LuAnne has more money than Bethenny?  How?  She can’t be making THAT much from doing cabaret!

No, she isn't rich from cabaret. But she is in the top ten of richest housewives. She married very well. 

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5 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

If she were that well off, why would she need to steal from her kids?

Girl! If Bethanny was so rich, why would she need to tell a judge that she ramped up Cookie's death to pay the bills?

Being worth a certain amount of money doesn't mean that's what is in your bank account. It's an estimation of what someone is worth given their bank accounts and assets, which could be real estate, trusts, property, businesses.... who all knows. 

Someone could be worth 100 billion dollars and have 10 dollars in their checking account. 

Edited by bravofan27
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What does human feces look like? I've heard the term bandied around before but never really had an associated visual. Today I got my answer: Luann.

Edited by Rahul
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That dinner scene was pretty much my childhood. It was hard to watch. I can see the masks fall on everyone and what’s really behind their behaviour. Understood and disliked both Bethanny and Luanne’s actions. One was completely dismissive and invalidating and the other was all out aggression and blame. Both are horrible yet understandable given their experiences. Felt completely sorry for Barbara. Understood where Sonja was coming from with the AA meeting. My mind is a bit of a fog now. It’s really disgusting how Bravo mouths water at this display.

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1 hour ago, bravofan27 said:

Bethanny-- girl, for someone who claims to save Luanne when she needed help, you are sure trying hard to break her. What is your fucking problem? 

PMS?

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58 minutes ago, bravofan27 said:

Girl, Luanne is worth more than Bethanny. Bethanny may have referred her or moved her up on a waitlist, but she didn't pay shit. Luanne has gobs of money. She doesn't need Bethanny to buy her anything. 

I thought Luann was strapped for cash (compared to the other women, not compared to, say, me).  Isn't that why she asked Bethenny (or Dennis - I'm not really clear on who she was looking for a loan from) to buy her a house?

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1 hour ago, tribeca said:

So all it took for everyone to include Barb was her to say something negative about LuAnne. 

And for Luann to be miles away.

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35 minutes ago, Bronzedog said:

I agree with this entire post.  I also think that because Dennis apparently did so much for Luann, Bethenny needed Luann to have a better understanding than the others of how much Bethenny lost when Dennis died, and, be of some support to her.  But, Luann, being Luann, didn't give a shit.  There are givers and there are takers, and, Luann is definitely a taker.  And, although the masses may disagree, I think Bethenny is a giver.  And, that can take a toll.

In the after show clip on Bravo, Sonja and Dorinda seem to agree with this as well. That Bethenny really went out of her way for Luann when she doesn't give to just everyone. 

https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/season-11/episode-15/videos/luann-de-lesseps-reacts-to-that

(About 2:30 into the clip)

Edited by divsc
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4 minutes ago, Callaphera said:

Props to Tinsley, not only because she stoods up for herself but because clearly she won the cabaret drinking game tonight!

No props to a restaurant that serves lobster "Pop Tarts" in a toaster and popcorn shrimp in a popcorn popper. That's just a little too precious. 

Barton G restaurants are all known for serving their cocktails and food in kitschy and creative ways.  Some say it's over the top and stupid, others say it's a one of a kind dining experience.  Prices are just as outrageous as the ostentatious presentations.  

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1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

Does she have to? 

No, she doesn’t have to, but if someone is hurting, it would mean the world to them if she helped in some way.

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2 hours ago, SweetieDarling said:

I think all the stories that people told got to her. She felt sad for those people, and it got to her. I get it. I went to college in a very depressed neighborhood and felt a lot of guilt about how priveledged I was in comparison.

It was all for drama.  The ex restaurant hostess lives in NYC where you have every type of person imaginable including homeless. Her story about the subway sickened me.  Who the fuck does she think she is.  

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35 minutes ago, Mannahatta said:

Sonja is so full of shit. She was acting as if she were an innocent young thing who was suffering so at the discovery that others suffer in the world. Bring on the vapors. Meanwhile she lives in Manhattan. It doesn't matter what neighborhood you live in Manhattan - you're going to see homeless people, people with substance abuse issues, and people with mental health issues - on the regular. And it's not just when you take the subway. You would have to be willfully ignorant not to see it. Then she muses "What can I do? I can't invite them to live in my townhouse." Well no, no one is expecting you to do that, Sonja. In fact, I wouldn't even expect her to become involved in any social causes. But to use other people's problems as a showcase to prove your delicate sensibilities and to get attention? Wow.

Plus she can’t invite them to her townhouse because she ran it into the ground and can’t afford to live there anymore. 

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56 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

That's true, but if they don't do it, you certainly don't lose your cookies like BetheME.  

There's a saying in AA that "resentment is the number one offender."  I mean BetheME probably did have a legitimate beef with Luann, but BetheME was yelling, screaming, standing up, acting like a fucking nutcase.  People in the restaurant were looking at her like, "WTF is wrong with this chick?"  Meanwhile Luann sat there, cool as a cucumber, while BetheME looked like she needed to be put in a strait jacket.

Whatever point Bethenny was trying to make went straight out the window when she grabbed the martini glass, shoved it at Luann's face, and dropped her voice into growling range. I'd have been hard pressed to not slap it out of her hand.

37 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

I agree with this 100%.  My opinion on this is that Bethenny grew up in a very volatile household.  I'm sure there were plenty of knock-down, drag out fights in her childhood, and that is the only thing she knows.  One person gets mad, yells and screams...the other person gets mad, rants and raves and maybe throws something.  Then, they move on.  Not the healthiest way to resolve differences, and not the healthiest way to grow up.

Bethenny, imo, does not know how to deal with calm when she gets angry because to her, the other person doesn't care enough to fight back, and given the toxic way she learned about relationships, she thinks that you need to fight back to basically prove you care. 

I also get the feeling that Jason also may have been the same way with her when she was angry about something, so it's another trigger for her.

It really seems like nothing else enrages Bethenny quite like someone else staying calm while they're arguing with her. It throws her off balance and she just starts getting louder and talks faster.

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While I have never been a Bethenny apologist, and I totally agree that you shouldn't do for others to hold it over their heads, I TOTALLY get where she is coming from tonight.

If Bethenny truly did all she said she did, then, she should be deserving of more from Luann than we have seen from Luann this season.  More gratitude, more kindness, or even, more thanks.  Not falling down on the ground, bowing and scraping every time Bethenny enters a room, but just something.  

I have an in-law that we have done things for time and time and time again.  My husband has bailed him out of trouble (not actually bailed him out, like in jail - just other ways of bailing someone out of trouble) more times than I can count.  This last time, it cost my husband and I a great deal of money (thousands of dollars), and many, many hours of time and frustration on my husband's part.  We did it because he is family-for no other reason, and not expecting or asking for any thanks.  For all of this, I have never, ever heard a single word of thanks or gratitude from this person, but still, we continue to get calls for more help - financial help and assistance in other things.  This person has no qualms in acting horrible to my husband when he chooses to and shows no gratitude when he should.  It's frustrating and annoying as hell.

So, I get Bethenny has reached a breaking point.  For me, I have decided to not engage with the person in my family, and will not see/speak to him, until I can work through my issues with him and be civil - meaning I will not want to walk up to him and punch his face in.  My husband, unfortunately, still is dealing with him, at least for now.  

Edited by njbchlover
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11 minutes ago, Lemons said:

It was all for drama.  The ex restaurant hostess lives in NYC where you have every type of person imaginable including homeless. Her story about the subway sickened me.  Who the fuck does she think she is.  

The toast of the town?  Sonja wears blinders all the time, and refuses to travel to parts of the city that she thinks are beneath her.  

And yes, she is completely blind to anything that does not directly impact her life - including the homeless and mentally disturbed people that may be hovering 25 feet away from her doorman guarded front door.  

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1 hour ago, BloggerAloud said:

Bethenny has become Jill Zarin.

Yes! I never realized it til reading your post but I think you are correct.

So those background peeps ignoring or barely glancing at Yowling Bethenny — do we think they’re paid PAs like what’s-his-name from last week who couldn’t talk about being a PA due to his NDA...and then posted about it? I mean, who else would sit thru that kind of screeching so calmly?

ETA: also — what ichbin said before me!

Edited by SCS · Reason: ichbin said it first, hmph!
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Did anyone else think it was strange that none of the other patrons turned to look at the commotion Bethenny was causing?  Only one woman at the end even looked at her.  

Anyway, Bethenny needs therapy.  That was a major meltdown she was having.  I was so wishing for Luann to say, "So be cool.  Don't be all, like, uncool."  🤣

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2 hours ago, janiema said:

It’s hard to believe but Ramona is my safe space this season.

Did you see how calm Dorinda was???? 😂

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51 minutes ago, Steph J said:

I thought Luann was strapped for cash (compared to the other women, not compared to, say, me).  Isn't that why she asked Bethenny (or Dennis - I'm not really clear on who she was looking for a loan from) to buy her a house?

Luanne is FINE. She does not need Bethanny for anything, thank god. Bethanny waited for her to come home one night and she's losing her mind. The stuff Bethanny was spewing at her, I'm like, "that's not really that unusual." I think Bethanny DOESN'T really care about Luanne, and she did it as an "investment." She determined to make Luanne pay her back.

Good luck with that. Tit for tat is a miserable way to live. 

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3 minutes ago, swankie said:

Did anyone else think it was strange that none of the other patrons turned to look at the commotion Bethenny was causing?  Only one woman at the end even looked at her.  

Yup.  I mentioned it above.  I was seriously wondering if they could actually have been production people being used as extras for the scene.  If there was a table of women carrying on the way these loons did you can bet they would be getting lots of attention from other patrons.

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6 minutes ago, swankie said:

Did anyone else think it was strange that none of the other patrons turned to look at the commotion Bethenny was causing?  Only one woman at the end even looked at her.  

Anyway, Bethenny needs therapy.  That was a major meltdown she was having.  I was so wishing for Luann to say, "So be cool.  Don't be all, like, uncool."  🤣

For some reason, I can't see Bethanny either sitting still long enough, and/or listening to someone else long enough to hear two whole sentences in a row. I think she'd be interrupting and jumping around screaming after the first sentence. 

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